This book is dealing with one of the most depressing topics you can read about, non-state torture. For several years the authors have helped women whoThis book is dealing with one of the most depressing topics you can read about, non-state torture. For several years the authors have helped women who experienced abuse and torture, and they have documented what they experienced and what survivors told them.
What drove me up the wall are two well-meant but utterly annoying things that happen throughout the book. The first one is the usage of herstory, instead of history. History is derived from Latin, historia, and it is already a feminine word, and I found changing the word to claim women’s history simply crude. The other issue is hyphenating reflexive pronouns, e.g. her-Self, and capitalising ‘Self’. The reason why the authors did so makes some sense, but they also used this awkward form when it did not make sense at all and at least once when it was grammatically wrong.
Apart from that, Women Unsilenced is quite remarkable. It tells the stories of what some women experienced, namely years of systematic torture and abuse by family, friends, and people who had power over them. It is heartbreaking to read what these survivors were forced through, and even though it was not always described as bluntly as it could have been, it sometimes became also clear just how much the authors themselves were affected by what they learned and experienced while helping survivors.
Although the focus of the book is on Canada, most (?) of what is being said there would be valid around the world. The authors included several references to the UN, and it turns out that in countries where laws protecting women are few, the rate of crimes against women is much higher. The authors also describe patterns of systemic misogyny and invalidating women’s experiences. So, maybe it is not surprising that women and girls are still often pathologized as mentally ill when they try to tell their stories about the violence they experienced.
This is not a book that you can just read and put away. Depending on your background it might affect you in different ways. What the authors want to achieve is raise awareness to a gruesome topic that women and girls have to deal with, and it definitely does that. Often, it was simply too much for me, so I’d recommend reading this only when you are feeling strong and in a good place.
Due to the annoying language issues I subtract one star, but it does not change that I believe this book is worth being read. 4 out of 5 stars.
Trigger warning: The book is full of descriptions of and references to different forms of physical and non-physical violence....more
This book is incredibly well written, and for this alone I’d give four stars, but there is more. For me, it was also an incredibly hard book to read, This book is incredibly well written, and for this alone I’d give four stars, but there is more. For me, it was also an incredibly hard book to read, because step by step you can see how Vanessa fell for Strane, a paedophile and rapist. Yes, there are a few allusions to Lolita, also a well written and controversial book, but My Dark Vanessa has its own story to tell, and Kate Elizabeth Russell does this in an impressive and rather sophisticated way that makes you read on and draws you into the story, maybe more than you want it to happen… So, this is a page turner, but for me it comes with a caveat. Nevertheless, it is definitely a 5 star book.
Trigger warning: For survivors of child sexual abuse and also for survivors of sexual assault and abuse in general I’d recommend you only read this when you are feeling safe, strong, and have someone there to talk to. I think there are passages so well written, and reality-like that they might really creep right into you, and as a result the seemingly harmless way the perpetrator influences Vanessa might bring up very unwanted memories. ...more
At first, Salvage the Bones left me unsure of what to make of it. Most likely it is because there were so many instances of neglect and abuse, and it At first, Salvage the Bones left me unsure of what to make of it. Most likely it is because there were so many instances of neglect and abuse, and it takes half of the book until things begin to change, somewhat. The main character changes considerably over time, and in all this dreariness of the family’s daily life this was the real light in the dark. Especially the first half of the book is pretty heartbreaking, and I could have done with a little less of that, though this is just a personal preference. However, the story is well-written, and Jesmyn Ward really knows how to create setting, plot and character. 4 out of 5 stars. ...more
According to the author, the intention of the book is to raise awareness to a topic that matters much more than many people assume. It is supposed to According to the author, the intention of the book is to raise awareness to a topic that matters much more than many people assume. It is supposed to be a book helping survivors, and that’s why the author and those who contributed with their stories donate the profits from sales to organisations that help survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
What you can read in this book are the short reports of survivors of childhood sexual abuse, some of them tell about abuse that went on for years. The level of detail varies, but all stories are about people who were vulnerable and experienced violence, most times by family members they trusted. At times, I was glad that the stories were not too detailed. Nevertheless, I couldn’t escape hearing the pain and understanding the tragedies these survivors experienced, also because in each memoir you usually get an idea of what happened in the years following the end of the abusive times. In short, what these survivors say is heartbreaking, and this is not even close to express just how harrowing what the children went through really is.
According to Joanne Kimberley, this book is for readers of the age 18+, and I can only agree.
Additionally, the texts in this book can be triggering, especially for survivors of sexual violence.
I was impressed by this title. Bowdler describes her own case of sexual violence she experienced, she talks about the situation she was in, what it diI was impressed by this title. Bowdler describes her own case of sexual violence she experienced, she talks about the situation she was in, what it did to her, the time at history and things happening afterwards. She uses a rather matter-of-fact tone for this, while mixing her feelings with factual information about rape she has researched. You can follow this up, footnotes are given. Later on, she tries to find out more about her unsolved case, and finds several reasons why rape cases more often than not, go unsolved. In the last part of the book, she raises the question that gave the book the title, and demands a major change in how rape cases are treated, since rape appears to be minimized as a crime, and solving them seems not to be a priority in the US and other parts of the world.
It made me sad to read what the author was forced to endure, how it affected her life. And there is nothing like a happy ending, though Michelle Bowdler seems to have worked through what she experienced. Depending on where you are, victims of rape all too often have to jump through hoops to receive the help they deserve. The author gives several examples of that. In addition, imagine what a victim of rape must feel when she goes through the procedure to secure dna and other evidence, only to find out years later how rape kits simply have been neglected, not tested, by the thousands. This and more is part of the problem. I am glad Bowdler wrote this book, and can only hope many read it, and are outraged by the pure wrongness of how rape is minimized and not treated like the crime it is. 5 out of 5 stars...more
I am not sure what I had expected when I started reading this book, but not the mix of explaining trauma once in a more clinical way, like therapists I am not sure what I had expected when I started reading this book, but not the mix of explaining trauma once in a more clinical way, like therapists usually do, and once by using scenes from the Harry Potter books to do the same. Since the paragraphs Atkinson wrote were alternating between scenes from the books and his own experiences as a therapist I did not like this structure much.
And this is the dilemma I found myself in. Did I want to know about the different aspects of trauma explained by the example of Harry Potter? No, not as much as I had thought. Are Atkinson’s insights to the point? Yes, they are. I liked reading his non-Harry Potter insights much more than the other ones, because I could relate much better, and it might sound weird, but I felt taken more seriously by the matter-of-fact explanations Atkinson gave, based on clients he had had. To some extent I was almost annoyed by his Harry Potter parts because they reminded me of what hardcore fans could talk like. It was too much of that for me.
Don’t get me wrong. Matt Atkinson is brilliant at writing about sexual trauma, and one of the best books on this subject, Resurrection After Rape, is a title I highly recommend to those who have to deal with this topic. Expecto Patronum also shows Atkinson’s brilliance, however for my taste it had just this little bit too much of Harry Potter. I do not expect others to share this opinion at all, but I felt slightly invalidated and taken less seriously because of that. This is also the main reason why I subtract one star. Fans of the book series might be able to enjoy the intellectual exercise behind this much more, though. 4 out of 5 stars ...more
What I loved about this title was that the two women at the centre of this story showed so much love and care for each other. The major trope of TeachWhat I loved about this title was that the two women at the centre of this story showed so much love and care for each other. The major trope of Teach Me is the age-gap of the main characters, Vanessa and Emma. Due to Vanessa’s fear of not being enough for Emma and due to Vanessa’s connections to some other wealthy women they end up being in Los Angeles. There they experience some great moments. Because of Vanessa’s fear to lose Emma, she wants to find ways to make things more interesting for them and to reach a deeper level of trust and openness. This is why they begin a journey into (very light) bdsm. The story was a fun read, and actually there was almost too much harmony in all of this. The major driving force behind the developments between Vanessa and Emma is Vanessa’s fear of losing Emma. This fear is not based on anything but Vanessa’s age. Reading about several couples of women who were leading successful and rather fulfilling lives was lovely. I enjoyed this a lot. What I also like is that this is one story connected to a whole series of other books where you can learn more about other characters appearing in Teach Me. The only thing I disliked was how Vanessa and Emma are introduced to bdsm. They have a kind of tutor for a short introduction, which is ok, however their talking about limits and boundaries while exploring bdsm is left to the imagination. It simply doesn’t work that way when neither of the two women has the slightest clue what you can do and what you cannot do when you want to play with something like a flogger, or even just a blindfold. This is where some additional lines would have been nice to make clear just how much this is about trust and just how easy it can be to hurt someone if you do it the wrong way. However, this is not enough to influence the overall good impression much. So, if you enjoy reading about successful, independent women who have wonderful and meaningful relationships, a few rather short sex scenes and couples’ relationship even though there is a major difference of age, this might be just the right title for you. 4.6 out of 5 stars. ...more
If you are looking for a book that tells you in detail what a therapist thinks about her clients and how she tries to help solve their problems, and yIf you are looking for a book that tells you in detail what a therapist thinks about her clients and how she tries to help solve their problems, and you also want to read the tragic but true stories of people who were abandoned, neglected, suffered different forms of abuse, this could be the book for you.
First of all, Good Morning, Monster is heart-breaking, because the book tells the stories of real people and the horrors they had to endure over long periods of time. There are so many abysmal things these men and women went through that I found it hard to read on at times. The book made me cry more than once, and since the stories told are at times rather detailed, it is sometimes a long way in each story until you see the success, if you want to, you can call that the happy ending.
And there are definitely many descriptions that might trigger you, if you have a history of abuse, neglect, assault or trauma.
But second of all, Good Morning, Monster is a book that creates hope. In each of these stories, these traumatized people made it. They completed therapy successfully, and they have turned from hurt beings into people who can have a more positive approach to life again. They are real success stories.
And this is why I like this book so much. After abuse and trauma you might only feel isolated and numb, and finding people who can actually understand what you are going through is not necessarily easy then. You’ll find these, I hope. But sooner or later you might be able to see that there is a way of healing for you, and this is where I see a book like Good Morning, Monster can be extremely valuable. It can help create this little bit of hope that you might need to go on, or even help to push yourself a little bit further. You could actually be like the success stories written about by Dr. Gildiner, and since I love books that can create hope, Good Morning, Monster is definitely a 5 star book for me. Actually, more like a six star book. So, 6 out of 5 stars. ...more
If you want an insightful title dealing with trauma, how it can manifest in body and mind, how people experience it, and if you also want some insightIf you want an insightful title dealing with trauma, how it can manifest in body and mind, how people experience it, and if you also want some insights about possible ways of treating trauma, this is definitely a title worth reading. Van der Kolk relies on his own professional experience, his vast knowledge about the topic, and extensive research he either participated in or has studied. Due to many reports of people suffering from trauma in its different forms this is not always an easy read, and it can surely also be triggering if you are not in a good place. However, the author shows so much understanding about trauma and possible ways of treatment that all in all van der Kolk not only wrote a book about research on trauma, but also one that shows many ways of how to create circumstances in which people have better chances to heal, or maybe not even internalise trauma at all. If anything, Bessel van der Kolk’s book impressed me deeply, because he wrote this for an audience maybe not that informed about trauma, and if you look at how many people dealing with trauma professionally quote him in their own books, he has surely written a standard work about the topic. In short, this is definitely a 5 out of 5 stars title....more
Safety guidelines (!), simple techniques, knots, you find it all in this book. There are black and white pictures to help understand how to tie the diSafety guidelines (!), simple techniques, knots, you find it all in this book. There are black and white pictures to help understand how to tie the different knots, and if anything, this is a very useful book for all who are into bondage or intricate, beautiful rope patterns. Well, you can use the same knots outside the bedroom, if you want to hang flowerpots somewhere, just saying. You also find some suggested reading, which is not only about bondage, but also about bdsm in general. This is definitely a great book if you like this kind of topic. 5 out of 5 stars. ...more
This title was fun and I’d have loved it to be longer. Violet and Candace are a dream team, and although Candace claims that she has to work hard to fThis title was fun and I’d have loved it to be longer. Violet and Candace are a dream team, and although Candace claims that she has to work hard to flirt and woo another woman, it does not appear like that at all. She had some funny ideas and her playfulness makes her very likable. Violet is great as her counterpart, and from their first funny meeting till the end of the story the whole story gets better and better. I simply loved it. 5 out of 5 stars ...more
This is a very short read, more like a passage taken from a story with f-f bdsm erotica. It was ok in that it had some erotic elements, though it was This is a very short read, more like a passage taken from a story with f-f bdsm erotica. It was ok in that it had some erotic elements, though it was not as hot and juicy as you could expect.
What I seriously dislike in this one is that it does not stick to safe-sane-consensual, and the way this scene is described is all in all rather unbelievable. The two women had vodka before starting a spanking scene, which is an absolute no go. Even beginners usually have a clue that alcohol and bdsm are a horrible combination. What makes this so unbelievable is that there is a bdsm newbie and without knowing her partner, without any preparation, after having alcohol, she agrees to have a public spanking scene in an sm club for women. Pretty unlikely I’d say. The descriptions become more graphic the more the scene commences, but what maybe was supposed to be erotic and sexy was more about the procedures used and left me rather cold and unimpressed. 3 out of 5 stars. ...more
Loading...
