"If I could tell my younger self anything about this life: we do so much more than just survive it."
If I were to convince anyone to read Clementine Von "If I could tell my younger self anything about this life: we do so much more than just survive it."
If I were to convince anyone to read Clementine Von Radics' poetry (which I plan to do to multiple people) I'd scream the following poems at them until they fell in love with their writing - "To the protester outside of the clinic who called me a murderer" - "For Vincent van Gogh, Patron Saint of Psychotic Manic Depressives" - "The Poet refuses to see what can be plainly seen"
content warnings: misogyny, abortion, grief, biphobia, and suicidal thoughts...more
4.75* I haven't loved a poetry collection this much since reading Pablo Neruda for the first time4.75* I haven't loved a poetry collection this much since reading Pablo Neruda for the first time...more
"…I feel my heart twisting around her in a way that is completely out of my control and can never be undone. I can’t put it away and I can’t unknow it"…I feel my heart twisting around her in a way that is completely out of my control and can never be undone. I can’t put it away and I can’t unknow it and I can’t slow it down. I don’t even want to…"
"…It’s funny to think that even sitting there on the floor with her, uncomfortable and tired, was better than sitting anywhere else in the world without her. I didn’t even want to go to sleep because I’d rather be awake and with the woman I love than risk being alone in my dreams…"
LOVE IS REAAAAAL
(the anxiety representation in this was so well depicted and one of the realest I've ever read)...more
This is, by far, the most disappointed I’ve ever been when it came to a book. Not just with the book itself, but with how many people decided to ignoreThis is, by far, the most disappointed I’ve ever been when it came to a book. Not just with the book itself, but with how many people decided to ignore the racism taking place in it. I’ve had this novel praised to me so many times that I idolized it for years before I even bought it. I was so scared that I wouldn’t like it that I kept waiting to be in “the right mind-set” before I decided to finally pick it up. About a quarter into the book I had already encountered not one, but 3 racist comments made by Esther (the main character). And I was so surprised that no one ever mentioned this to me that I had to stop reading, go on goodreads and look at the reviews to see if anyone was addressing it, and nothing. So I told myself I was reading too much into it and kept on reading, and by the 4th comment I was starting to lose it. So I went online and looked it up, and the only thing that turned up was a personal blog and a goodreads thread that mostly blamed the racism on “the time the novel was written in”, to which I would just like to say, and pardon my french, that’s complete and utter bullshit. This book was written in the 60s! The NINETEEN-60s!! in. the. middle. of. the. civil. rights. movement. And I’m not saying racism didn’t exist back then, hell, that’s what the whole movement was about. And I get that people weren’t “woke”, and that using certain slang was normal back then, BUT I could name at least a dozen writers who didn’t feel the need to be racist while writing from (what we all know is) their personal pov. Hell, I could name novels published in the 19th fucking century that advocated against racism. Sylvia could’ve at least picked up ONE of those during her lifetime, jfc. I’m not just speaking about the 5+ times she used the n word, it’s not my place to say whether that was wrong or not. I’m talking about the explicit racist comments (against more races than one, if I may add) that made me want to drench this book in gasoline, light it on fire then flush it down the fucking toilet: • In one part, Esther Greenwood describes her reflection as "a big, smudgy-eyed Chinese woman staring idiotically into my face," • In another she says: “the face in the mirror looks like a sick Indian" • At one point she calls indigenous Mexicans ugly and says things like "dusky as a bleached-blonde negress" • In a scene where Esther is being served dinner while in the mental health institute. The man serving her is described as a stupid, laughing, indolent Black man with huge, rolling eyes, a racist trope made popular with books like "The Story of Little Black Sambo," which was published in 1898. During this scene, the man commits the “offense” of serving two types of beans for dinner, and Esther punishes him for it by kicking him. • When Esther’s friend is telling her about a guy she’s interested in, who happens to be from Peru, Esther replies with: “they're squat…they're ugly as Aztecs."
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All of that being said, I think I should mention that: a/ the writing was actually pretty decent b/ I am not going to ignore the awareness it brought around mental health for so many years. But, if that’s the only reason you’re reading this, then I suggest you check out Girl, Interrupted instead, it’s equally as representative (if not more/better) of mental health, based on Susanna Kaysen’s real life (it’s more of a memoir-ish type), it includes plenty of documents and notes from her time in a mental health institute, and, most importantly, it isn’t problematic....more
This book wrecked me. I don't know how else to describe it. I honestly didn't think it was humanly possible to feel so many emotions all at once. ThroThis book wrecked me. I don't know how else to describe it. I honestly didn't think it was humanly possible to feel so many emotions all at once. Throughout the entire book, I desperately wanted to reach into the pages and pull Leonard Peacock out of it with my hands and just hug him for hours, or even sit with him in silence to let him know that he's not alone, and that someone understands. I feel lucky to have had the privilege to live in his head for a little while, despite how messy and loud it was up there....more
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