A beautiful, emotional story centered on a 24-year-old woman living her lifelong dream of studying at Oxford, and what happens when her plans encounteA beautiful, emotional story centered on a 24-year-old woman living her lifelong dream of studying at Oxford, and what happens when her plans encounter something she didn't expect. The author narrates the audiobook, and as always, is wonderful.
I'm putting content alerts in a spoiler tag -- a key plot element was spoiled for me, and I would have preferrred not knowing... but at the same time, I realize the subject matter can be difficult for many people. Read the spoiler section if you want to know.
(view spoiler)[Spoiler: This book deals heavily with terminal illness. The main character's love interest has terminal cancer, which she only discovers after starting to fall for him. The plot includes detailed descriptions of hospitalizations, health emergencies, and frank conversations about end of life. (hide spoiler)]
Highly recommended, but be prepared. I was lulled by the charming academia vibe at first, but the emotional impact really hits hard later in the book....more
A powerful book about friendship and love. It left me in tears, but also left me with a sense of wonder at the author's ability to convey so much emotA powerful book about friendship and love. It left me in tears, but also left me with a sense of wonder at the author's ability to convey so much emotion in a relatively short book.
I believe this book is best read without knowing what to expect, so I won't say anything here about plot details, other than it's not what it would seem based on the blurb. Read this book without expectations or advance information about what's going to happen, and let it just unfold.
My full review is at Bookshelf Fantasies. My thanks to NetGalley and Atria Books for the review copy....more
Be careful reading Only Child. There's a good chance it'll rip your heart out.
As Only Child opens, six-year-old Zach is crammed into a closet in his cBe careful reading Only Child. There's a good chance it'll rip your heart out.
As Only Child opens, six-year-old Zach is crammed into a closet in his classroom, listening to popping sounds from somewhere outside the door his teacher is desperately holding closed. When the police finally move in and escort the children to safety in a nearby church, Zach can see that there are some people lying on the floor in the school hallway, and he sees splashes of red, even though the police officer keeps telling the kids to keep their eyes forward and not look around. When Zach's mother arrives at the church to get him, we hear the terror in her voice as she asks Zach where his brother is. At that moment, the world begins to fall apart for Zach and his parents.
Zach's older brother Andy is one of nineteen fatalities in a horrific school shooting, along with many of Andy's classmates and the school principal. The shooter is the mentally ill adult son of the school's long-time security guard Charlie -- a man who has cared for the children of McKinley Elementary for 30 years.
How do we learn about these events? Through Zach. Only Child is narrated throughout by Zach Taylor, so we see all events unfold from this six-year-old's perspective. We're with Zach as he undergoes confusion, discomfort, misunderstanding, and terror. Zach's first-person narration lets us into his thoughts, as he sorts through his feelings about Andy, who wasn't always the kindest of brothers. We also can feel Zach's terror at thoughts of returning to school, his boundless loneliness in his house, and his need for parents who are so wrapped up in their own grief and horror that they can't always see what's going on with Zach.
Look, this book is heart-breaking, no two ways about it. At the same time, I found it hard to spend the entire book looking at the world through Zach's eyes. I had a similar response to Room. It's a powerful story, but the limitations caused by having a child narrator can be frustrating. We never know more than Zach knows. We can only participate in conversations that Zach's present for, so even though he does a fair bit of lurking in hallways to hear what his parents are talking about, we only ever get bits and pieces.
I had a hard time too suspending my disbelief in places where Zach recounts what he's heard on TV or comments made by adults he's overheard. His inner thoughts are a little precious on occasion, and maybe a bit more sophisticated for his age than is truly believable. My other complaint (sorry, I realize I'm being a curmudgeon): As you might expect in a story told by a six-year-old, I think I heard more than enough about pee, poop, snot, and puke. Oh my, little boys can be gross. (Sorry, truly.)
Still, I was very engaged by the story and the characters throughout. I had the unusual experience while reading this book of trying to analyze why I felt certain ways about characters, and forcing myself to embrace empathy even when I was having a visceral reaction against a particular person. For example, Zach's mother comes across as pretty awful for much of Only Child, when viewed through the lens of Zach's fears and unmet emotional needs. She's unable to see past her own fury and loss to truly see Zach's suffering, consumed by the need to get revenge on the parents of the shooter, pursuing TV interviews and making lots of noise about their role and their responsibility for the children's deaths.
Meanwhile, I typically have little sympathy for unfaithful spouses in novels, but despite the fact that we learn that Zach's dad was having an affair prior to Andy's death, he comes across as the supportive, loving, gentle parent who's present for Zach and who attempts to find a way toward healing. I ended up liking the father much more than the mother, and had to continually remind myself that there's no wrong way to grieve. She was not being a good mother to Zach following the shooting, but who among us can say how we'd behave in that unimaginable, terrifying type of situation? As much as I wished for better for Zach -- like for his parents to be on the same page long enough to get him counseling -- I couldn't hate the mother for being swallowed up by her pain and grief.
Despite my minor quibbles about the narrative voice, Only Child is a powerful, timely, deeply affecting book, and I strongly recommend it. ...more
Sweet, funny, sad... what do you expect in a story about a boy and his beloved hounds? I mean, sure, I could do without the hunting, but appreciating Sweet, funny, sad... what do you expect in a story about a boy and his beloved hounds? I mean, sure, I could do without the hunting, but appreciating it for the time and place in which it's set, it's a lovely story about growing up, loyalty, and adventure. Read as part of my attempt to experience some of the Great American Read books that I missed in my youth!...more
Book, why did it take me so long to discover you? And why did you make me cry like that? I don't expect tears from my zombie books! Seriously, I lovedBook, why did it take me so long to discover you? And why did you make me cry like that? I don't expect tears from my zombie books! Seriously, I loved this book, and can't wait to continue the series. Just amazing....more
As an occasionally obsessed TV fan, I've been familiar with Michael Ausiello's writing career for years. I avidly followed his "Ausiello Report" for sAs an occasionally obsessed TV fan, I've been familiar with Michael Ausiello's writing career for years. I avidly followed his "Ausiello Report" for scoops and spoilers on my favorite shows, enjoyed his fanboy goofiness and funny interludes, his Smurf obsessions, and his super witty writing style. When I saw that he had a book coming out this fall, I naturally assumed this might be a collection of his TV writing.
Spoiler alert: It's not.
Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies is a personal, painful, inspiring, heart-warming, and heart-breaking love story -- Ausiello's up-close memoir of the loss of his husband Kit after a short and intense battle with a devastating form of cancer.
Michael and Kit spent 13 years of their lives together, but this isn't a sugar-coated fairy-tale version of perfect love and romance. Instead, it's a warts-and-all look at a real relationship, filled with ups and downs, anger, laughter, challenges, and almost-breakups. It's clear that Michael and Kit had an instant chemistry and loved each other deeply and passionately, but Ausiello doesn't shy away from describing the less euphoric points of their relationship as well, such as Kit's infidelities and Michael's drinking.
Kit goes from strong, healthy and vital to a cancer patient in practically the blink of an eye. It's wrenching to see Kit's discomfort as it grows into pain, to see Michael's helplessness at not being able to rescue the person he loves most in the world, and the growing realization that Kit is facing a death sentence, and quickly. And yet, there are moments of joy and beauty. Although they'd never considered marriage for themselves before, they practically turn the city upside down in a quest to get married before Kit starts chemo, and it's funny and sweet and lovely.
I can't say enough good things about this book, although I suppose I should warn readers that you'll need heaps of Kleenex at the ready. The book has a lot of humor, for a book about cancer, and Michael and Kit themselves are funny people. I loved reading about their romance, their pet names for one another, all the silly little things that make up a life, and cried myself into a messy puddle as Kit weakened and they prepared themselves for loss.
Michael and Kit clearly had something special, and I appreciate how much of himself Michael was willing to share in putting together this lovely tribute to the man he loved. It's practically a cliche to describe a book as a love letter to a person or place -- but it's just so apt in this case. Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies is absolutely a love letter to Kit -- funny, sweet, and utterly romantic, and so very tragic.
I so admire Michael Ausiello's honesty and emotional openness in writing this book, and although I didn't previously know anything about him except his professional persona, I do feel invested now in wishing him a life of happiness. Kit was clearly an incredibly special person, and I'm happy to have gotten to know him through this book.
This review also posted at Bookshelf Fantasies. Review copy via NetGalley, with thanks to the publisher....more
Warning: If you can't handle sad dog stories, walk away now. Lily & the Octopus is the story of a lonely man whose life revolves around his beloved daWarning: If you can't handle sad dog stories, walk away now. Lily & the Octopus is the story of a lonely man whose life revolves around his beloved dachshund Lily. He constructs elaborate fantasies to narrate their life together (including interactive games of Monopoly and pizza nights), and simply can't face reality when he spots what he calls an "octopus" on her head. As the story progresses, his battle against the octopus to save Lily's life becomes increasingly complex -- but ultimately, this is the story of a man slowly losing his steadiest, truest companion, and it's a tearjerker.
The octopus and other pieces of the fantasy were a little too much for me at times, but other than that, this is a moving story of love and connection. ...more
The Mother's Promise is the story of an unusual yet tightly connected mother and daughter, and the two women who enter their inner circle.
Alice is a 4The Mother's Promise is the story of an unusual yet tightly connected mother and daughter, and the two women who enter their inner circle.
Alice is a 40-year-old single mother who receives the dreaded news that she has ovarian cancer and requires immediate surgery. Zoe is her 15-year-old daughter, a smart girl who's practically crippled by her overwhelming social anxiety disorder. There's no one else in their lives -- no close friends, no relatives apart from Alice's alcoholic brother. Zoe's father has never been in the picture, and Zoe knows nothing about him.
Kate is the oncology nurse looking after Alice. Kate is married to a wonderful man and has two too-good-to-be-true teen-aged stepchildren, but her happy marriage is now on the verge of crumbling under the stress of infertility treatments and multiple miscarriages.
(Do we see where this is going yet? In this case, unpredictability may be overrated. More on this later...)
The fourth character in this circle is Sonja, the social worker assigned to Alice's case, who steps in to make sure that Alice gets the support she needs as well as to make sure that Zoe has a roof over her head and someone to care for her when Alice's condition worsens. Sonja, of course, has her own set of hidden problems and pains.
The novel shows these four women coming together, all with their own inner turmoil and emotional trauma, and finding healing and support through each others' helping hands. The story unfolds via chapters told from all four points of view, so we get insights into what it feels like to be in their shoes.
In Zoe's case, this is particularly affecting. Zoe's situation is pure, utter agony. She's so debilitated by her social anxiety that she can never speak in class, feels ashamed every time she walks down the school hallway, and agonizes over other kids' opinions to such an extent that , for example, she never allows herself to eat in public for fear that she'll do something embarrassing and everyone will stare or laugh at her. Being in Zoe's mind is exhausting and sad, but also fascinating. Here's a girl with so much to offer, and she just can't do the things that will help her fit in, no matter how hard she tries. Her mother really and truly is all she has, and it's terrifying for both of them to realize that her entire life is dependent on Alice being there.
For Alice, the diagnosis comes completely out of the blue (as is so often the case with ovarian cancer). In a particularly moving scene, Alice hears the doctor and nurse pouring information out at her about the tests and the results and the treatment, and yet can't even recognize the word "cancer" as applied to herself until about the 3rd or 4th time it's said in her presence. Alice is committed to being positive, but her positivity crosses into denial over the seriousness of her condition and her poor prognosis.
Kate and Sonja's storylines, while part of the novel, get less time than Alice and Zoe's, but they each still emerge as individuals with their own lives, worries, and needs.
So what did I think of The Mother's Promise? Hold on, let me wipe that last tear and then I'll let you know...
Obviously, this is a heart-wrenching, gut-punching book. That should be clear from the start. It's about a single mother with ovarian cancer -- let's not kid ourselves about this having a happy ending.
As I mentioned from the start, the resolution of the story is easy to see coming from very early on -- but that in no way diminishes the impact. The importance thing in The Mother's Promise is the journey, not the destination. Zoe in particular is the one to watch -- there's no instant cure for her social anxiety disorder, but she makes small steps toward breaking out of her old ways, and even manages to push past a truly awful moment of humiliation that any teen, even without anxiety issues, would have an extremely hard time getting over. It's lovely to see Zoe's determination to try, and enlightening to be inside her head and to learn what it feels like to be such a wounded, vulnerable soul.
Kate is lovely. I don't want to give too much away, but here's a woman who loses all of the dreams of the kind of future she wants, and yet finds a way to be open and caring and nurturing. It's a beautiful story arc, and I wish we got to spend more time with her. Maybe a sequel??
I have mixed feelings about Alice. Obviously, she's worthy of sympathy and compassion, and her ordeal is horrible. I just wish the storytelling around Alice was a bit more consistent. The chapters told from her perspective are quite moving, of course, yet we cut away to other people's perspectives at times when I wanted to know how Alice was feeling, phyically and emotionally, such as during her initial hospitalization and recovery from surgery.
As for Sonja -- her story weaves in some themes that are important and worthy of attention, but at the same time, she feels extraneous to the story. Again, I don't want to give too much away here, so I'll be vague. It's not that Sonja's sections aren't interesting. I just felt that you could remove her pieces from the novel, and the core of the story would not lose anything. Perhaps this is just trying to fit one too many story threads into one novel. It's a good thread, but unnecessary.
I started The Mother's Promise knowing I'd probably dissolve at some point while reading it, and that's a pretty accurate picture of what happened. Mothers and daughters? Cancer? Helplessly watching a parent suffer? Children with no one to care for them? Oh, this book knew exactly how to push my buttons! Waterworks galore.
But still -- The Mother's Promise is a beautiful book despite all the heartache. The relationships are complex and feel real, with fragile people strengthened by their unbreakable emotional bonds. Some tearjerker books feel too deliberate, as if the author sat down and said, "Hmm. How can I make my readers cry?". Not The Mother's Promise. Yes, there will be tears, but they're genuine and feel earned.
Definitely read The Mother's Promise. It's powerful and well-written, and will make you look at your loved ones with new, appreciate eyes. And, definitely worth mentioning, the book does an admirable job of showing the power of women caregivers, nurses, and nurterers -- people who change lives on a daily basis. Kudos to the author for such a sensitive and fine portrayal of roles that are often overlooked.
Review copy courtesy of the publisher and NetGalley. This review also appears at Bookshelf Fantasies....more
In 180 Seconds, we experience Allison's life through her first-person perspective. She has a wonderful adoptive father, Simon, and a best friend SteffIn 180 Seconds, we experience Allison's life through her first-person perspective. She has a wonderful adoptive father, Simon, and a best friend Steffi, but apart from these two, Allison travels through life alone. After her years as a foster child, she's built sturdy walls around herself, and feels safest when those walls are intact. Even with Simon, Allison keeps a distance. He's warm and loving and supportive, but after all she's been through, Allison has a hard time trusting that it won't just all go away suddenly. Better to never let someone close than to risk it and then get hurt.
Steffi, though, is Allison's soul-sister. They met in a foster home, and over the years, even though separated by circumstances outside their control, they've never lost their bond. Steffi, never adopted, attends college on the West Coast while Allison is in Maine, but they keep in constant contact. Steffi is outgoing, bubbly, and mama-bear fierce when it comes to protecting Allison from anyone and everything that might hurt her.
When Allison meets Esben in that fateful 180-second experiment, she's shattered by the experience. During those three minutes, her walls come crashing down and she and Esben connect in a way that's immediately shocking and intimate. Of course, being the age of technology, those 180 seconds make her internet-famous, and Allison finds that her private bubble has been blown apart and the world wants in. And then too, she has to figure out Esben -- did he feel it too? Is this connection real?
As Allison and Esben finally meet for real and begin to talk, Allison finds herself opening up for the first time in her life. As she comes out of her shell, she and Esben begin a gentle development of a relationship that's unlike anything she's ever experienced, and the positive energy she feels lets her take risks, shut off the white noise in her earbuds, and actually reach out and let the world in.
What I liked:
The characters are really wonderful. Allison is fragile and introverted to the point of unhealthiness -- but it's understandable based on what we learn about her childhood and the amount of rejection she experienced growing up. It's hard to see her keep Simon at a distance. He's an amazing person who just knew Allison was meant to be his daughter, and he provides her with a safe and nurturing home and so much unconditional love, asking nothing in return. I loved seeing their relationship deepen as Allison's ability to trust and accept love expands over the course of the novel.
Steffi is a strong, kick-ass young woman, but even she has vulnerabilities that she tries to hide. Steffi's secrets because central to the plot in the latter part of the book, and I won't say anything to divulge them here, but just be warned that boxloads of Kleenex are imperative for this book.
Allison's blossoming is believable and well-written. You can practically feel the glow spreading within her as bit by bit, her relationship with Esben allows her to open up to life and its possibilities and to start believing in herself.
Minor quibbles:
There's nothing I actually didn't like about 180 Seconds, but I do have just a couple of minor issues with the book.
My major issue is that Esben is really too perfect. He's a lovely person, but there are times when it's just too much. He's always sensitive, always respectful, always exactly what Allison needs -- plus he's super hot and sexy and has a heart of gold. This is a guy who uses social media for good, so when he finds out that a little girl's birthday party is going to be a bust, he takes to social media to make sure she has a birthday princess extravaganza. He's just SO GOOD all the time, and it makes him seem not quite human at times.
My other complaint is that for the first half or so of the book, it feels pretty episodic, without much dramatic tension or building plot. In each chapter, Allison has some new situation to confront or an event to participate in with Esben, and they deal with it, and she learns something, and it's all good. None of it is boring or pointless, but it starts feeling like just one nice interlude after another.
Wrapping it all up:
I started 180 Seconds as an audiobook, but when I got within about 2 hours of the end, I had to switch to print so I could move faster and get through the rest of the story. Plus, I'll be honest -- this is another one of those audiobooks that probably should not be listened to in public. I got to a certain part and was taken completely by surprise and began seriously ugly crying... while I was driving my car. Not good!
I'm really not going to go further into the plot or explain my ugly crying jag or anything that happens in the last third. It's heartbreaking and yet also quite heartwarming... in other words, it gives your heart a work-out!
180 Seconds is a lovely book filled with sympathetic, enjoyable characters and complex relationships. Highly recommended....more
Damn you, Dana Stabenow! How could you do that? My heart is broken into a million teeny pieces right now. I love this series, but this one is just devDamn you, Dana Stabenow! How could you do that? My heart is broken into a million teeny pieces right now. I love this series, but this one is just devastating. NOOOOO.
Sweet, sad, and lovely, this story of a young woman with early-onset Alzheimers pulls at the heartstrings, but offers moments of hope and grace as welSweet, sad, and lovely, this story of a young woman with early-onset Alzheimers pulls at the heartstrings, but offers moments of hope and grace as well....more
I'm still trying to decide if I can live with that ending and how it changes my understanding of the entire book. I know I'll be thinking about the isI'm still trying to decide if I can live with that ending and how it changes my understanding of the entire book. I know I'll be thinking about the issue for quite a while. That said, I still feel that this is a powerful, don't-miss book.
This book left me reeling, in ways I didn’t even imagine. Everything, Everything is the story of Maddy, a teen girl with the rare immune disease SCID who’s lived her entire life in the hyper-protected, safe environment of her completely sterilized and filtered home. She never goes out, never sees anyone in person except her mother and her nurse, spends her time attending school via Skype and reading tons of books. And then one day, Olly and his family move next door, and Maddy’s world is rocked. What if she could make a friend? What if she did want something besides what she has? From waving window to window to email and IM chats, Maddy and Olly become friends, and then more, until Maddy feels ready to risk everything, even her life, to really take a chance at living.
I thought I knew what to expect, more or less, when I started this book, but I was wrong. First of all, the narrative voice is completely charming. Told in the first person by Maddy, the narrative strikes the exactly right chord of cleverness, humor, and curiosity tinged with innocence. Maddy has literally done nothing and been nowhere, so everything she sees and experiences is a first for her. The author captures the wonder of all of Maddy’s firsts, as well as the suffocation of being alive without really living her own life. While the Maddy/Olly romance develops quickly, it’s not insta-love. They get to know each other as people first. Each has baggage and fears, but they find a way to connect that’s touching and feels real and deserved.
The ending (or, the last 20%, according to my Kindle) absolutely threw me for a loop and was not what I expected at all. I’m sure readers will have some heated debates about how things turn out, and I have a feeling this will be a love it or hate it situation — but either way, there’s plenty to discuss!
Throughout the book, I thought the writing was terrific, and I loved the little drawings and diagrams that enliven Maddy’s story, as well as all the email exchanges, messages drawn on windows, and other whimsical visual touches. Maddy is a smart and funny character, and I loved seeing her think about her life, her family, and her future. This book pulls off the tricky task of piling on the emotional impact while keeping a sense of quirkiness and laughter. Everything, Everything is a book that should really appeal to teen readers, and adults will love it too!...more
Lovely, spare, powerful. Gorgeous writing. One of those books that seems simple, but bit by bit creates a mood that takes you over and is hard to shakLovely, spare, powerful. Gorgeous writing. One of those books that seems simple, but bit by bit creates a mood that takes you over and is hard to shake off....more
What You Left Behind is unusual in the increasingly crowded field of contemporary young adult fiction: It's a teen drama full of loss and hope, told nWhat You Left Behind is unusual in the increasingly crowded field of contemporary young adult fiction: It's a teen drama full of loss and hope, told not through the eyes of the tragically dying Meg or by new love interest Joni, but by Ryden himself. I don't recall reading any other YA novels recently with a male narrator who's experienced anything quite like Ryden. Age 17, high school senior, father. Bereaved as a teen without every really getting to start a life with the girl he loved. Work, school, soccer, trying to be a good dad, trying to be a good son, and still trying to understand what really happened with Meg.
You can't help but love Ryden. He didn't ask for any of this. Meg insisted on keeping the pregnancy, even though it meant going without chemo for all those months. All Ryden wanted was to love Meg and do anything in his power to keep her healthy... and here he is six months after her death, stressed out, feeling like a terrible father, having to face the reality that the life he thought he was meant for is now forever out of reach.
Jessica Verdi's writing is beautiful in its heartfelt sorrow and frustration and bitterness. Ryden is a giant mess, and he screws up a lot -- but I challenge any reader not to feel complete sympathy with him. He's in a horrible situation, and even though he has an amazing mother who supports him wholeheartedly, his life really does suck at the moment when we first meet him. Watching him go through the process of grieving and figuring things out and finally starting to see a glimmer of hope is painful. Ryden's emotions are raw and brutal, and he makes some big mistakes, and really doesn't understand the world around him or what his new life really is a lot of the time. But it's impossible to blame him for anything. He's in a horrible situation, not of his making, and -- he's only 17! He's bound to make mistakes, but I can't help but admire the courage and grit he shows in just waking up and moving forward day after day.
The author knows how to get inside a teen's head and explore all the contradictory wants and needs lurking there. The writing doesn't condescend and doesn't shy away from showing the good, the bad, and the ugly. The story didn't necessarily go where I thought it would, but I was invested every step of the way and couldn't look away.
My only complaint is that the author made me care so much about these characters that I wanted more at the end. I like the ending of the book very much, which makes it clear that a new chapter is just beginning and that Ryden finally has a path ahead of him that can lead to happiness. But (and maybe this is the mom in me speaking!), I wanted to know more. I really want to know what Ryden's life is like in a year, in two years, and in five. What happens next? What does he decide to do with himself? How does he grow as a person and as a father? I think it's a testament to the power of this novel that I feel invested enough to have so many questions.
Bottom line: If you enjoy contemporary YA fiction that deals with tough subjects with honesty and emotion, don't miss What You Left Behind. ...more
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