Have you ever overheard a sleepover where a room full of teenagers think that they can speak freely, and "fuck" is every other word? This book is likeHave you ever overheard a sleepover where a room full of teenagers think that they can speak freely, and "fuck" is every other word? This book is like that, but the room is full of one therapist talking to herself. In fairness, I didn't fucking hate a lot of the ideas, explanations, and suggestions in the book, but the fucking shtick got old really fucking fast. (see what I did there?)...more
3.5 stars. I’m admittedly fascinated by LePera and her work. She has a LARGE following in SocialMedia land. There are also podNerdy therapist review.
3.5 stars. I’m admittedly fascinated by LePera and her work. She has a LARGE following in SocialMedia land. There are also podcasts that allude to her being involved in some political things that seem incongruent with her work. I certainly encounter quite a bit of disgust when mentioning her work with clients. That being said, I was open-minded in reading her latest book.
Her influence stems from people believing she is a credible doctor and mental health expert. She has a very lucrative online following, and a community of paid members in a closed group. She studied a science that she seems to “not believe in”. She rejects the idea of diagnosis and paints everything with her trauma brush. After reading this book, it seems realllllly clear to me that everything she claims is complex trauma looks a LOT like neurodivergence. Her “emotionally disconnected parents”, her highly analytical mind, her intense interests, her radical political beliefs, her non-traditional relationship, her emotional dysregulation, and so many accounts of rigid thinking patterns. There is a lot of cross over between neurodivergence and the nervous system responses she categorizes as trauma.
I think much of her advice regarding nervous system regulation, co-regulation, and the introduction of ideas like emotional contagion are spot on. But I think the topic of neurology has a place in the story here. ...more
“You were a child. She was all you had. You bonded to indifference and, at times, her cruelty. Your job was to endure it and to protect her from detec“You were a child. She was all you had. You bonded to indifference and, at times, her cruelty. Your job was to endure it and to protect her from detection.”
“Clearly, Laura functioned well in survival mode, but human kindness threw her for a loop.”
“Stop Mr. Rogering me.” Patients who are rarely praised as children often distrust the positive things people say about them as adults. A child’s concept of self is formed in childhood and it takes a long time, with many affirmative examples to turn that self-concept around.”
“Children who are given adult responsibilities when they’re too young to handle them are forever after worried about properly fulfilling their responsibilities; they never seem to accept that they were too young to manage the task but instead internalize their failure to accomplish it. Laura, who’d been left in the woods focused on her supposed failure to parent her siblings and rarely mentioned her own abandonment. “
“There’s that concept called intimacy you’ve read about where people share feelings.” “I know about it. I’m not from Ork.” And yet Laura looked confused. So I said, “intimacy is when you’re familiar with your emotions, then share your feelings, your fears, your shame, your hopes and joys with another person.” “Christ! Why not dance naked in the streets.” I ignored that. “It will be hard for you to do it at first, since no one expressed feelings to you in your childhood,” I said. “In fact, you had to block your feelings just to handle your life. No wonder it’s hard for you to learn.” I explained that speaking intimately is like learning another language. The more you do it, the easier it becomes....more
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