Ryan Buckby's Reviews > A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares

Anxiety felt like a grapnel anchor had been pickaxed into your back, one prong in each lung, one through the heart, one through the spine, the weight curving your posture forward, dragging you down to the murky depths of the sea floor.

this book was enjoyable for the most part even though it did take me a little bit to get into the story and the characters, i did find myself putting the book down way to easily and stepping away which annoyed me because i want a book to capture me all the way through.


TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety, depression, abuse and suicide.

Well this book turned out to be a hell of a lot darker than i was expecting it to be and wow i am left shocked and still trying to wrap my head around what happened.

Plot: This book follows Esther Solar who is a quirky teenager who lives in a family who is ruled by different fears that have taken up this entire families lives. Esther has made a list of what fears she that most trouble her and it shows how differently these different fears effect her mental wellbeing. This story starts of simple and straight to the point but the plot for me i had trouble trying to get myself emotionally involved but there are events in this book that seriously struck a cord with me and left me with this huge impact that i was not expecting. One thing that i was extremely felt sorry for the entire family is how these fears really impacted and changed this entire family and how day to day task were effected because once you get something into your head its so hard to shake off.


Characters:


Esther Solar: Esther was a quirky and loving main character and i enjoyed reading her story and getting to know her through the course of the book. The changes this character goes through the entire book was impressive and she does really try and beat whatever she's faced with. Esther was flawed and real and to me can be relatable for so many people because there are so many people who suffer with mental illness and fears that impact them daily.

Jonah: I enjoyed Jonah because he like Esther was really flawed and tried so much to help her overcome these fears and try to teach her that those fears are more than her. I loved how he wanted to help her with the whole 50 fears and 50 weeks challenge he set Esther was impressive and i felt really helped her in some way.


Eugene: Eugene is Esther's twin brother and his biggest fear is darkness and i loved how this fear troubled him for some time and i honestly get it and i feel incredibly sad that this character had to deal with this fear because it's truly a scary thing to have to go through. One thing that made my skin go cold is when Eugene says he can see the demons that lurk in the darkness and that truly terrified me.


My own fears: I like most people have fears that is just a common thing people have to deal with and i have some of my own that i would like to share in my review since finishing this book.

- Heights: one of my biggest fears that i have dealt with my entire life is heights i cannot stand to be in high places, examples would be on a tall ladder or tall building i begin to freak myself out and my anxiety levels go into overdrive.
- Snakes: usually people say they're scared of spiders but i can handle them but for me its snakes that terrify me and i am petrified of them and if someone was to ask me what my boggart would be a snake and i honestly would be terrified if i was ever faced in that situation.


fair warning before going into this book is that this book deals with some extremely trigger warning as it deals with such issues as Anxiety, depression, abuse and suicide so please be warned before going into this book however i feel that Krystal did an excellent job in writing this story and dealing with these topics that you'll be happy with how she handled it as i was.