Ashley Lauren's Reviews > The Extraordinary Life of Sam Hell

OH EM GEEEEE you guys. Where do I even start with this BOOK?!

There are some parts that are so, horribly, atrociously bad. I mean truly cringe-y, one star, gagging awful. I had numerous Liz Lemon worthy eye rolls in this story.



Examples:
- Our main character legit cured his friend's dyslexia by "challenging" him to read faster, saving his friend from needing any actual tutoring. Yeah, that's not how that works.
- Our main character who could only at best be called "clever" for his age, apparently reads The Count of MOTHER-Fing MONTE CRISTO at the age of 6. SIX YEARS OLD.
- Literally every mention of his "condition". The way this book started off, with little Mrs. Hill (gorgeous, trim, blonde) needing to go all mama-bear on the nun to protect her child from *clutches pearls* discrimination! This Karen went to the NEWS to throw SHADE on her CHURCH so her son wouldn't have to stoop as low as public school -- sorry, I'm done, you got my point.

Because - there's my biggest problem with this story (and please, feel free to read this with enthusiastic claps between each words): THE BOY HAS A PERFECT LIFE IN EVERY WAY. I do not get it. WHY do we care about this kid? Because he has red eyes and literally nothing else is wrong with him? He lives in a perfect house with a perfect family in a perfect suburb with perfect friends who literally gets a car for his birthday and I'm like WHY? Why am I reading a story about him? Why do I care?

You know whose story would have been more interesting? Literally any other character. How about a little more about ERNIE the dyslexic black boy in an all white neighborhood? That's one hell of an interesting story we never get to hear! Or how about Mickie?! The girl with a seriously f'd up family life who managing to hide all of it and still come out relatively unscathed? Want to hear that story of survival!

But no - NO - instead we get this book about the extraordinary life of this ho-hum kid who does totally normal and only somewhat decent things, completely ignoring the reality of the world around him, and we are supposed to care? We are supposed to feel something for him because he has red eyes? BOO HOO.

Here's the thing: This is a book written by a white man that's about a white boy who is slightly different than the other kids and whose Karen-mom saves the day against "discrimination".



Here are just a few - a FEW - of the white/male savior moments that made me want to launch this book across the room:
- Ernie (who is black) saves Sam (our main white character) from public humiliation during public speaking, but Sam manages to take all the credit because he makes his own scene thereby 'saving Ernie from taking the fall alone.'
- Ernie, an incredible athlete, (because, of course, that's the only way the black kid could end up being successful, right?) only achieves recognition because Sam gives up his own jock career so he can write news stories about Ernie. You'll think I'm joking, but I'm not, when Sam 100% credits himself for Ernie getting into Stanford. I cannot.
- As mentioned before, Sam cures all of Ernie's learning disabilities by making it a competition. Sam gets all the credit for it.
- How about the entire "present day" storyline where he goes to bat for the little girl who dun-dun-dun is the daughter of his nemesis?
- Where he literally spends 10 years traveling the world saving poor children's eyes. He even changes his appearance with a beard, etc, so that his mother claims he's a missionary. W-O-W. Way to be subtle there, Dugoni.

Okay - I have to stop because it never ends. I obviously haven't even touched on the relationship with Mickie and how messed up that is. Or the blatant, casual dropping of systemic racism, fat-phobia, slut-shaming, homophobia, and the list goes on. Some of it could argue was just using "language of the times" but most of it was so casual and unnecessary that I'm pretty sure this author is a horrible person.

Here's the thing - halfway through things actually get bearable. Once Sam grows up there's a bit more that is interesting and a few scenes that actually do get you in the feels a little. There are some nuggets in there that I can appreciate. But good GRAVY the rest of this is basically an enthusiastic hurrah to the white man who kind of overcomes one tiny little misfortune and I can't handle it.

If you want approximately 10 audio hours of a written Leave It To Beaver (literally, Mickie actually calls his parents Ward and June Cleaver at one point) then have at it. But afterwards please, please pick up something with #ownvoices or any of the Anti-Racist books out there. After reading this you'll need to wash out your mind the way that June Cleaver would wash out Beaver's mouth with a bar of soap.



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