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Venky's Reviews > When Things Don't Go Your Way: Zen Wisdom for Difficult Times
When Things Don't Go Your Way: Zen Wisdom for Difficult Times
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Zen Buddhist teacher and bestselling Korean author, Haemin Sumin, offers tidbits of ‘Kiplingesque’ wisdom in his slim, albeit alluring book, When Things Don’t Your Way. Drawing upon personal experiences and challenges, Sumin distills the essence of life in six concise chapters.
Exhorting his readers that not ‘feeling all right’ is also a perfectly acceptable natural phenomenon, the author urges taking on the invisible demons of the mind, head-on. The key to attaining success and fulfilment in life lies in welcoming pain and embracing failure. Channeling one’s inner chaos would ultimately lead to a journey of self-discovery. Unhappiness, according to the Buddha, is a direct outcome of relentless mental pursuits. Commonly termed “grasping”, these impulsive pursuits draw man to new objects, lure him to stay close to it, and encouraging complete possession and usage.
Similarly, there is a tendency to flee the undesirable. When this happens the phenomenon of grasping transforms into an attitude of ‘resistance’, leading to stress. This perpetual and paradoxical struggle makes life an exercise in absolute misery. The best way to counter these two extremes, according to Sumin is to inculcate the value of gratitude. A grateful mind becomes open and receptive to both possessions and scarcity. Bitter experiences are welcomed and acknowledged in the same manner as euphoria and contentment.
Sumin also places immense trust in the benevolence of the Universe. Influenced by the proclamations of his Buddhist teacher, who believed that “there are more than enough ‘pies’ to go around for everyone”, Sumin encourages his readers to take this daunting leap of faith. Such a faith would trigger a virtuous cycle of benevolent thoughts and deeds which in turn bestows beneficial and rich experiences, both spiritual and psychological.
Sumin also dwells on sour experiences such as the deterioration of relationships in life and proposes measures to overcome such adverse circumstances. Giving his own example where he had a fall out with an otherwise close roommate at Princeton University, courtesy some trivial disagreements on the amount of rice for partaking a meal, Sumin emphasises the importance of space and harmony in any relationship. “Everyone has their unique quirks, idiosyncratic habits, and pet peeves. Rather than bottling up inside every time the other person does something that bothers you, communicate kindly and respectfully.” As a good beginning, Sumin proposes making ten close friends as one of the goals in life for deriving the benefit of a lasting influence
The Chapter that interested and impressed me the most comprises within its confines the emphasis on enjoying the infinitesimal pleasures in life. One of the most cliched acronyms of our time is “YOLO”. Expanded to read “You Only Live Once”, this acronym is emblematic of a hedonistic treadmill. Bucket lists are made, ceilings on desires are removed and yet, man lives in a perpetual state of unhappiness. Instead, if YOLO could be replaced by SBCH – Small But Certain Happiness, life would be a great deal more joyous and peaceful. The phrase “Small But Certain Happiness” was first coined by the Japanese author, Haruki Murakami in an essay titled “Afternoons in the Islets of Langerhans.” Happiness, according to Sumin, is not dependent on many years of struggle and hardship; instead, it boils down to appreciating life as it is being lived every moment.
Having a steaming hot cup of coffee, listening to one’s favourite song on the radio or browsing through the pages of a book in a bookshop can all result in overwhelming feelings of absolute satiety. Sumin draws attention to a fabulous quote by the German philosopher Goethe, “if you have fresh air, bright sunlight, clear water and the love of your friends, there is no need to be disappointed in life.”
“When Things Don’t Go Your Way” is a handy compendium for contemplation, reflection and reminiscence.
Exhorting his readers that not ‘feeling all right’ is also a perfectly acceptable natural phenomenon, the author urges taking on the invisible demons of the mind, head-on. The key to attaining success and fulfilment in life lies in welcoming pain and embracing failure. Channeling one’s inner chaos would ultimately lead to a journey of self-discovery. Unhappiness, according to the Buddha, is a direct outcome of relentless mental pursuits. Commonly termed “grasping”, these impulsive pursuits draw man to new objects, lure him to stay close to it, and encouraging complete possession and usage.
Similarly, there is a tendency to flee the undesirable. When this happens the phenomenon of grasping transforms into an attitude of ‘resistance’, leading to stress. This perpetual and paradoxical struggle makes life an exercise in absolute misery. The best way to counter these two extremes, according to Sumin is to inculcate the value of gratitude. A grateful mind becomes open and receptive to both possessions and scarcity. Bitter experiences are welcomed and acknowledged in the same manner as euphoria and contentment.
Sumin also places immense trust in the benevolence of the Universe. Influenced by the proclamations of his Buddhist teacher, who believed that “there are more than enough ‘pies’ to go around for everyone”, Sumin encourages his readers to take this daunting leap of faith. Such a faith would trigger a virtuous cycle of benevolent thoughts and deeds which in turn bestows beneficial and rich experiences, both spiritual and psychological.
Sumin also dwells on sour experiences such as the deterioration of relationships in life and proposes measures to overcome such adverse circumstances. Giving his own example where he had a fall out with an otherwise close roommate at Princeton University, courtesy some trivial disagreements on the amount of rice for partaking a meal, Sumin emphasises the importance of space and harmony in any relationship. “Everyone has their unique quirks, idiosyncratic habits, and pet peeves. Rather than bottling up inside every time the other person does something that bothers you, communicate kindly and respectfully.” As a good beginning, Sumin proposes making ten close friends as one of the goals in life for deriving the benefit of a lasting influence
The Chapter that interested and impressed me the most comprises within its confines the emphasis on enjoying the infinitesimal pleasures in life. One of the most cliched acronyms of our time is “YOLO”. Expanded to read “You Only Live Once”, this acronym is emblematic of a hedonistic treadmill. Bucket lists are made, ceilings on desires are removed and yet, man lives in a perpetual state of unhappiness. Instead, if YOLO could be replaced by SBCH – Small But Certain Happiness, life would be a great deal more joyous and peaceful. The phrase “Small But Certain Happiness” was first coined by the Japanese author, Haruki Murakami in an essay titled “Afternoons in the Islets of Langerhans.” Happiness, according to Sumin, is not dependent on many years of struggle and hardship; instead, it boils down to appreciating life as it is being lived every moment.
Having a steaming hot cup of coffee, listening to one’s favourite song on the radio or browsing through the pages of a book in a bookshop can all result in overwhelming feelings of absolute satiety. Sumin draws attention to a fabulous quote by the German philosopher Goethe, “if you have fresh air, bright sunlight, clear water and the love of your friends, there is no need to be disappointed in life.”
“When Things Don’t Go Your Way” is a handy compendium for contemplation, reflection and reminiscence.
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Reading Progress
May 31, 2024
–
Started Reading
June 1, 2024
– Shelved
June 1, 2024
– Shelved as:
non-fiction
June 2, 2024
–
Finished Reading
