Hot Millions (1968)
Maggie Smith: Patty Terwilliger Smith
Photos
Quotes
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Willard C. Gnatpole : You like working for Mr. Smith?
Patty : Oh, yeah, yeah. He's nice. I like tubby men.
Willard C. Gnatpole : Fat! He's fat!
Patty : Yeah, well, he's well covered.
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Pendleton's Landlady : So you're a traffic warden now? That's a nice steady job.
Patty : Yeah, I got fired today.
Pendleton's Landlady : Whatever for?
Patty : Well, I haven't the heart to give anyone a ticket. It's wicked trying to park out West. I let them treble park right along the Strand, see.
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Patty : What's he want?
Marcus Pendleton : Assets.
Patty : What are they?
Marcus Pendleton : Young female donkeys.
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Patty : What do you want me to do?
Marcus Pendleton : [as Caesar Smith] Well, I want you to look as though you're doing something.
Patty : Oh.
Marcus Pendleton : That's half the battle, isn't it?
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Patty : [after she's told Marcus that she's going to have a baby] Look, love. Are you all right?
Marcus Pendleton : I don't know. I don't know. I just know that in a few month's time, someone is going to be looking up to me for the rest of my life, and that's terrifying.
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Patty : A woman's place is in the home... making money!
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Patty : As my broker always says, the first million is always the hardest.
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Patty : I'm in the puddin' club. I'm going to be a mother.
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Patty : Boy, it's hot in here, idn't it? May I take my coat off?
Willard C. Gnatpole : Yes, any - anything.
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Patty : I don't know how I'm gonna like it here.
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Marcus Pendleton : I suppose you can see my window from yours?
Patty : Uh, well, no... only from the kitchen.
Marcus Pendleton : Oh, I'd better be careful to keep my curtains drawn.
Patty : I'm sure you've got nothing to hide.
Marcus Pendleton : Myself.
Patty : Oh, heh, heh.
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Patty : It's just I'm sorry about the curry.
Marcus Pendleton : Oh, no mind about that. I was dreading that. You know, I hate curry.
Patty : Do you?
Marcus Pendleton : Yeah.
Patty : Yeah, I hate it too. It's vile idn't it?
Marcus Pendleton : Vile. It is vile. Yes, it is.
Patty : I've got a couple of bangers if you'd like them.
Marcus Pendleton : Well, now, look here, I don't want to impose.
Patty : Oh, well, shut up. Light the candles. They're on the mantlepiece.
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Patty : Why don't you marry me?
Marcus Pendleton : You poppin' the question?
Patty : Well, it's gotta be popped, idn't it?
Marcus Pendleton : Yeah, you put it that way, yes.
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Marcus Pendleton : Have a deck of cards?
Patty : Yeah, in that dr... hey, you're not gonna start playin' cards. I just asked you to marry me.
Marcus Pendleton : I know, but if you shuffle them and then cut with the queen of hearts I'll marry you
Patty : Oh, you will. Yeah, let's get the cards.
[after many cuts, she exposes the queen of hearts]
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Patty : It's money, idn't it.
Marcus Pendleton : Yeah, they told me it was. Yes. I wouldn't believe them at first.
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Patty : Mr. Smith, are you afraid of women?
Marcus Pendleton : No. Why should I be? Women? No. Oh, mark you, I haven't known very many in my life, apart from mother.
Patty : You were fond of your mother, is that it?
Marcus Pendleton : No, no. I hated her. Very hateful. She couldn't cook, you see, and all through my youth, I remember having to eat the muck she dished up and pretend to like it. She was very sensitive, quite apart from being a bad cook.
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Patty : [He's brought home a large zippered satchel filled with cash] What you got in here? It weighs a ton.
Marcus Pendleton : Oh, open it up. I've got no secrets from you.
Patty : What you brought back? Dear, this is money, idn't it?
Marcus Pendleton : Yeah. They told me it was, yes. I wouldn't believe them at first.
Patty : There's about 1 million pounds here.
Marcus Pendleton : You've got the exact right figure, you have. I got a slight raise.
Patty : Where did you get... You would never. You've been stealing!
Marcus Pendleton : Well, you want to be careful what you say, you know. Any fool can steal. Everybody does a bit. I've been embezzling.
Patty : Is that what you've been doing on all them trips? Yeah, I thought it was the "other" you were doing.
Marcus Pendleton : I would never do anything dishonest like that. Patty!
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Patty : They work the shirt off your back here, don't they?
Willard C. Gnatpole : Yes, I heard about that.
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Marcus Pendleton : Why'd you take your dress off?
Patty : Well, look at this filthy, rotten ribbon, I don't want to get it dirty, do I?
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Marcus Pendleton : Any particular time?
Patty : What for? Oh, no! No. I'm easy.
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Patty : Would I ask you to if I didn't want you to?
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Patty : It was ever so nice of you to see me, Mr. Gnatpole.
Willard C. Gnatpole : Oh, not at all. I mean, the fact that, well, you called me, I'd like to sort of consider that a, well, a bond of friendship. And there is nothing more beautiful on earth than - friendship.
Patty : Oh. Oh, no. Now, I agree. It's beautiful - particularly between, well, people.
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Patty : We both got our pride, didn't we, that's the trouble. I'm not the only one, eh?
Marcus Pendleton : No, you're not. No.
Patty : Be more economical, wouldn't it, if we could share our pride. You know, kind of wend pride between two.
Marcus Pendleton : Yeah, well how can you do that?
Patty : Well, there must be a way.
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Marcus Pendleton : That's what comes out of loneliness, see?
Patty : Are you pleased?
Marcus Pendleton : Oh, I'm delighted you're going to be a mum. And I'm going to be a dad. Yeah, I'll be expected to tell it the facts of life, won't I, when I've only just discovered a few of them now myself.
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Patty : Why do you let your hair grow long then? Look at it! Go, look at it, all hanging down there.
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Patty : You can go to jail for embezzling, can't you?
Marcus Pendleton : Yes, that's why I'll have dinner on the plane, see.
Patty : I see. You gonna keep it, are you?
Marcus Pendleton : That was my intention, yes.
Patty : Well, I better get used to it, hadn't I?
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Patty : I know why men go to Paris. I'm not daft.
Marcus Pendleton : It so happens that nowadays even the French come over to London for *that*.
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Patty : 'Ere, what's that funny smell? It's like burning rubber.
Marcus Pendleton : Ah, that smell you get when you've got the air conditioning turned on to "Fresh air".
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Patty : If I'm on a pedestal, it's just because you put me up there, isn't it?
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Patty : 'ere, what're we doin' in the park?
Willard C. Gnatpole : Uh, the, the park. Umm, I, I thought... thought we'd take the scenic route.