What Is Up With These Totally Bizarre Stock Images?

Stock images are professional photos that are used to compliment publications both online and off. They're intended to be generalized versions of everything in life, so if you're looking for a picture to go along with an article about, say, prostitution, you can find the perfect hooker pic you're looking for with just a few clicks of the mouse. Easy-peasy.

Yet some stock images are so oddly specific that they end up making zero sense. These pictures leave "odd" behind and proceed right on to "What the HECK am I looking at?" at record speed. Take a look at 25 examples of bizarre stock photography that leave us with questions. So many questions.

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Settle Down There, Faux-Ellen Degeneres

Writer: "What I really need for this article is a picture of a woman with a carrot up one nostril. Oh, and she should also be holding an electrical plug, and if she happens to look like a low budget Ellen Degeneres, that'd be great."

Shutterstock: "I've got just the image!"

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You Keep Your Money Where?

That's the last time he asks her for a loan.

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All Flop and No Flip

Ah yes, the first bloom of true love. When you and your lover sit together and gaze at each other adoringly while sniffing a flip flop. Who among us hasn't enjoyed this simple pleasure with a loved one (who also totally looks like Brad Pitt)?

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The Other White Meat

It's what's for dinner.

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This One Is Just Eggcellent

"So you're writing a story about housewives who are secretly addicted to snorting fried eggs directly off the skillet? Yeah, we've got that."

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How About No?

Him: "Just a little bit of sex? Like, this much?"

Us: "No."

Him: "But I sort of look like The Big Lebowski? That do anything for ya'?"

Us: "..."

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Grandpa Fought Hard To Get That Degree

They said he could be anything, so he became a boxing old guy in a graduation cap.

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You Say "Potato," I Say, "WTF?"

This is the perfect photo for when you want a woman's face, but you also want a potato. Because that is a scenario that happens so frequently.

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Spaghetti Machete, Anyone?

These two items rhyme, so it's almost like this photo had to exist somehow.

Okay, never mind; it's not like that at all.

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Haunted By Cheeseburgers

Actual photo of me on my last attempt at adopting a healthy diet plan. The burgers... they... haunt me....

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I Now Pronounce You Man and Watermelon

Believe it or not, as far as awkward and bizarre wedding portraits go, this one isn't even in the Top 10.

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I Shall Call Her "Mini Me"

Have you ever been so depressed that you feel like you have a second version of yourself perched delicately upon the brim of your cap?

Yeah, neither have I.

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Am I Using This Fidget Spinner Correctly?

You know, we laughed when they warned us that fidget spinners that were made in China might contain lead paint. "Who would be so incredibly stupid that they'd put a metal toy in their mouths?" We asked incredulously.

I think we have our answer now.

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Space Corn

TIL (today I learned) that In the future, people worship corn on the cob.

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So Tired I Could Sleep On A Pillow Made of Cake

What? At least it's a SHEET cake.

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Stick 'Em Up

You just never know when you'll need a picture of a big-headed hit man with a banana for a gun.

(Spoiler Alert: Probably never.)

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Just A Guy In Big-Ass Pants

This picture captured the exact moment when the Jenny Craig photo shoot got weird. "Hold up your old fat pants to show us how much weight you've lost!"

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Well, This Is Awkward

Oh my. Grandma, Grandpa, we know you're very proud of... whatever this is..., but please put that thing away. The neighbors have been complaining.

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Does The Carpet Match The Drapes?

If you can't walk the red carpet, BE the red carpet.

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Rubber Ducky Heaven

If there is a news story that calls for an image like this, I definitely want to read it. Granted, we've seen our share of crazy news headlines that actually turned out to be real, but we've still never seen a story about a guy wearing a rubber ducky floatie while simultaneously enjoying a shower of rubber duckies. I think I'd remember that.

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