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tressed couples, the more passive or withdrawn partner is
USu.11lr invited to go through the steps slightly ahead of
the other. The increased emotional engagement of this
partner then helps the other, often more critical and active
partner, shifi:to a more trusting stance,
The nine steps of EFT are as follows:
Cycle Deescalation
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for dealing with coutiict and for seeking and giving sup
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trust that their spouse genuinely cares for them, they are
more likely to easily engage with the therapist and the
therapeutic process (Johnson & Talitman, 1997). The
structure of the session and the empathic responsiveness
of the therapist can reassure anxious partners, who often
adopt blaming positions in their relationships. The thera
pist validates their experience and relates it to the depriva
OOU imposed by cycles of negative interaction. Avoldanr
Fanners are more likely to be skeptical about therapy and
wary ofthe therapist. It is necessary to discuss the purpose
and process of therapy and what they have to gain by
becoming involved and to explicitly address their con
cerns and reservations. Partners who have been trauma
tized and who show fearful avoidant attachment will often
vacillate between connecting with the therapist and
becoming dismissive or hostile (Alexander, 1993). An
attachment frame helps the therapist to understand this
process and to validate how hard it is for this client to enter
into the therapy process.
Assessment particularly focuses on how partners haw
experienced and undcrsrood their relationship and their
emotional responses, aud how they deal with conflict, dis
tress, and attachment needs. The therapist quickly gets a
sense of each partner's Style nnd how the negative interac
tion cycle maiutains these styles and confirms negative
models of self and other. The task of the therapist at this
St;\~ of :h':::lpy is to access underlying feelings and to
place them ill the context of the negative interactional
cycle in a way that expands and decscalates this cycle. This
task, which involves accessing. exploring, and expressing
emotional responses, fonuulating the problem and articu
btin~ tacit models and beliefs, coherently discussing
artachmeut issues and l'WI\tS, and forming a meta-view of
the inreracrioual cycle and how each person contributes
to it, is easier for more secure partners.
Anxious partners generally have more diffuse,
absorbing at1cl"t and are more reactive and less coherent
in their presentation of the relationship and the problem.
They ustully interpret :1 wide range of relationship events
in a negative and anaclnucnt-salienr manner, The rhera
pist validates secondary reactive alle('t and helps differen
tiate and expand this all~ct until primary anaclunent
emotions and associated appraisals emerge and can be
coherently stated. So :1 wife's angry blaming statement,
"He has some detect; he C:1I1't low anyone," evokes into
;\\1 exploration of her rage, and fiunlly an articulation of
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WHIFFEN
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change events are more difficult for couples who howe had
traumatic attachment experiences and so exhibit more
constricted and risk-aversive responses. The experience of
tr:1U1lL1 has been particularly associated with a fearful
avoidant attachment style in adults (Alexander. 1993,
1997). Fearful avoidant individuals appear to have the
most negative self-concepts and are likely to be the worst
off in terms of mental health compared to those with
other styles (Shaver &: Clark, 1994). They also tend to
v icw the selfas "helpless and hopeless" (Shaver, Collins, &
Clark, 1996, p. 49)_ With such partners, the EFT therapist
must then persistently reflect. specify, and heighten any
small new experience that challenges working models and
cues and responses must be made particularly unambigu
ous and explicit. Crises. at these times of risk. must be
expected and weathered; rage, fears, and defenses must be
validated and placed in the context of past violations of
human connection (Herman, 1992). The therapist may
have to paint a picture of the specific behav iors associated
with secure attachment since for these partners this may
be a foreign place that they haw never seen. The pace of
rherapy is slower, and the therapist must monitor and
.id the alliance on a constant basis. Generally, the thera
pist has to track the idiosyncratic meanings and nuances
of experience with these couples more intently and with
more sensitivity. For example, these partners need partic
ular help distinguishing between the behavior of attach
ment figures and definitions of self (Kobak & Sceery,
1988). Every ambiguous r~'spon;c on the part of the
spouse is taken :\S proof of the unworthiness of self and
becomes a cue for retreat or attack. This sense of unwor
thiness also prevents these partners from accepting love
and protection when it is offered. The therapist Ius to
more actively challenge this negative sense ofself and link
it to specific traumatic experiences (Johnson & Williams
Keder, 1998)_
The Final Stages of EFT: Integration
60, 185-195.
378
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