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    TTTT 2 Anodetoshia

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    Shia LaBeouf has paid his debt to culture. He has unofficially knighted me as his personal protection squadron. If you're a woman, you want to be with Shia.

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    TTTT 2 Anodetoshia

    Uploaded by

    api-245583646
    51 views2 pages
    Shia LaBeouf has paid his debt to culture. He has unofficially knighted me as his personal protection squadron. If you're a woman, you want to be with Shia.

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    tttt2anodetoshia

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    Shia LaBeouf has paid his debt to culture. He has unofficially knighted me as his personal protection squadron. If you're a woman, you want to be with Shia.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    51 views2 pages

    TTTT 2 Anodetoshia

    Uploaded by

    api-245583646
    Shia LaBeouf has paid his debt to culture. He has unofficially knighted me as his personal protection squadron. If you're a woman, you want to be with Shia.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    of 2

    Thood Thor Thoughts Thursday #2: An Ode To Shia

    By: Justice Seymour


    America, we are gathered here today to remember a true hero amongst the youth
    community. You know who Im talking about. The one, the only, Mr. Shia LaBeouf. For those of
    you who dont know this brilliant actor/artist/true American hero, let me just ask...Where are you
    from!? Do you come in peace!? Is this an Independence Day type deal because I dont know if
    my schedule can handle a full on Decepticons invasion right now.
    Look, I understand that Shia has made some mistakes (several pretty large ones at that),
    but by this point, you should KNOW that he has paid his debt to culture. From his poopoo
    performance art and telling you to JUST DO IT, #NIKE Shia has reminded the world (and
    an entire species of transformable vehicles) that we fall from glory so that we can become the
    greatest of memes, YouTube edits, and cannibalistic theater artists.
    If youre a women, you want to be with Shia. If youre a man, you want to be Shia. If
    youre a average Canadian walrus, you want to pierce his body and eat it so you can store up
    blubber for the long Canadian winter months. I know you (and everything that has, is, and will
    exist in this universe) want to be like Shia. That is why he has unofficially knighted me SS (short
    for Shia Son) and appointed me as his personal protection squadron. I am here to tell you how to
    be more like world-hero-legend Shia LaBeouf.
    STEP 1: Become a famous child actor
    You cant truly know fame unless youre a kid in the bizz. If you are not a child actor by
    the time you are 12, sorry, you lose 13 Shia points.
    STEP 2: Spit like a champion
    Shia is the best at spitting on camera. Dont believe me? Watch Disturbia after the car
    crash. When Shia crawls out from his totaled car on his back, he yells a painful yell, resulting in
    a glob of spit going straight up about a foot and falling on his own face. If youre afraid of spit,
    Im sorry, you lose another 13 Shia points.
    STEP 4: Lose your mind (ever so briefly)

    Perhaps Shias darkest moment was his best. When accused (and proven guilty) of
    plagiarism, he lost his goddamn mind. His apology on Twitter for plagiarism was plagiarised.
    Dont fret, losing your mind only hurts for 2 seconds and then you go to step 5. (Keep it brief! If
    you lose your mind for longer than 2 seconds you lose 13 more Shia points!)
    STEP 5: Save Optimus Prime
    I know, I know. This step is hard. Not only are the Decepticons and Autobots so
    freakishly huge that just being in the middle of a fight will result in a most certain death, but
    also...they arent real. But hey, perhaps you can do this when your mind is frenzied over the
    tragic loss of 39 Shia points! SHIA DID IT 3 TIMES WITHOUT LOSING A SINGLE SHIA
    POINT! Heres a tip: When your mind goes into the LBV (LaBeouf Vortex), make sure you take
    a shard of the All Spark to generate enough Energon to pull you into the world, then properly
    plunge the Matrix into Primes chest.
    STEP III: THE LOST STEP
    I didnt include this at first because I thought it was impossible, but Shia told me to tell you guys
    about it in last nights bimonthly Shia State of the Looneybin Address. So here it is:
    BE SHIA LABEOUF
    You might say, But, Justice, thats just my dream...I cant do THAT! If you have said this, then
    you havent truly listened to the words of Shia. (-13 Shia points.) JUST DO IT. NOTHING IS
    IMPOSSIBLE. JUST DO IT. YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMORROW. JUST DO IT. DONT
    LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS! THE MORE OFTEN YOU DO IT, THE MORE LIGHT
    THERE WILL BE.

    Thank you for your time, Live long and be Shia LaBeouf..#nike#shiaislove#shiaislife

    13x13^13.33333333 Shia points

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