A nightmare

Amruth VVKP
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To, every student who never cares about viva sessions in their practical examinations.

Disclaimer: This story is inspired by a Telugu short film The Viva directed by Sabrish Kandregula starring Harsha Chemudu in the lead. Although the core of the story is retained but a lot of changes were made to make it suitable to the context. The characters and the context of the story is completely fictions and has no reference or indication to anyone living or dead.

Winter, it was but the sun was shining hot over the head in Chennai the month of September,
was held first project review at Jeppiaar Engineering College. It was the first session with eighty students waiting outside the lab with laptops and printed sheets held in their hand. Temperatures were soaring and sweat ran down every face with their eyes focussed on the sheets they held. Date: 15th September, 2013; Day: Tuesday; Time: sorry watch stopped working an hour ago. The students looked already tired with their stomach full just after the morning breakfast. A few were worried because they werent sure if they can please the examiner others were worried because they werent sure if theyll be allowed into the hall. The session begins at 9:00 a.m. as their schedule told, but everybody was walking up and down the stairs nobody could tell that they were tensed but they were only worried. Sweat ran down like a river flowing through a barren land a few eyes looked dull others looked sleepy if it wasnt for the sun, they would have already slept long ago. The first project review was supposed to be an easy one, with the students submitting their selected topic, project guides name and the list of team members to the external examiner who usually comes from some other college. It also includes explaining the selected topic along with the base technical papers that they took as reference. Dude I feel like a dog tied to a gate proclaimed Fredrick. Why is it so? asked Harish curiously. I dont even remember the symbol for a motor said Fredrick. Dont worry, you are about to have company. Look at me I dont even remember how a motor looks like. How many are expected to get out? There are not many guys who havent yet selected the topic Dude, dont keep fussing that you are the most out-standing student of the entire class included Rohit. SHUT UP!! Dont you remember? Our HOD already announced that the external examiner wouldnt be announced and I hope you are aware that the HOD is the most ill-tempered person in the entire department declared the nerdy guy. The dog always looks for opportunity to screw us down the table said another. Dude, have some mercy stop calling our HOD The Dog. suggested Aravind. Other than acknowledging your sympathy feelings for him, what else do you want us to do for him? Buddy, what harm has he done to you? That black dog has blacklisted me in every arena in the department. Tell me if someone has a better reason to call him a dog Stop fighting guys listen the session begins in ten minutes. So stop fighting and start preparing for the viva suggested Ramesh. Hope you dont screw things like before and stop acting like a weirdo before Mr Sharma just because he tortured you for some misunderstanding. Ramesh warned Arun.

On the other side of the river, girls had similar issues too Do you think well get through the review? asked Bhuvana curiously. Do you think he is going to fail you for being his favourite student? asked Keerthi. I am not sure I prayed to god that Ill fast the whole day today so that he doesnt ask me tough questions said Teresa. You could have termed it fasting instead, fatty suggested Keerthi. STOP IT YOU BITCH!! Or I am going to kick you before you enter the hall screamed Teresa. Look who just started screaming to impress her boyfriend proclaimed Catherine. He is far better than your guy who never got a moustache Moustache or not he is tall and still the most handsome among the lot not like your pulp fought back Catherine. Whom do you think you are messing up with? LOOSER. Last time I scored more than you in the last semester exams said Teresa in a dominating tone. Which should also contain the trivia that she got help from Reeshma for three exams included Keerthi.

Meanwhile the fat, tall and fair external examiner paced up the stairs to the examination hall. What should I answer, if they ask me about A.L.U? asked Ajay. Do you know whom you are asking this? replied Varun. He is coming HE IS COMING!! whispered Ajay loud enough for the external to hear it out.

The review begins in five minutes. Only one person is allowed at a time. Wait outside till your number is called announced the examiner looking at Ajay. Dude did you see that "YOU ARE DEAD NOW" look he gave? asked Rohit. Dude I am scared God, if I pass this review, Ill feed everyone with biryani for todays lunch prayed Ajay. Dont worry god is already pleased with you buddy hence he decided to ease your burden... because todays menu at the mess is biryani blessed Rohit in a comic divine manner. Ok enough of your chanting... There's nothing left to do, so let's face it... said another. A few hands rose up helping others to get off the dusty floor and a few hands went up reaching the almighty. ROLL NUMBER ONE!!! a voice screamed from the room.

The first one went through the door they reached the desk and looked into the eyes of the examiners as she placed her papers on the table. Whats your name? asked the examiner. Teresa Green, sir WHAT??? TERRACE GREEN? Could have opted for a better name like Sky Blue or Black Road What is your project based on? Efficient Unbiased Tracking of Multiple Dynamic Obstacles under Large Viewpoint Changes Oh, I see. Tell me under which category your project is Teresa starts to search for answers on the roof for every question he asks The examiner finally loses his cool. Do you know the answer or not? asked he. I read it last night only sir...I am now, not able to remember it replied Teresa. The examiner looked at her with a confusing look. Don't worry about it...prepare well next year...I will see you then! What say? he asked. Sir, I am trying to answer sir... What are you trying to answer??? I asked you 5 questions until now... and you gave the same answer that you read it last night and I don't remember... Do I look like a stooge to you? What is your roll number? She looks up again. What? Did you read that think last night and forgot about it too uh? he asked. 21 Sir... she said scarily. It's enough if you pass? asked he. Sir, is it possible to give me an 80% or something? she begged. Ill do one thing. I will wait outside and you write down how much ever you want... please don't hesitate! he said giving her the pen and the marks sheet. Sir. Its ok give me a pass mark. Thats enough she admitted finally. Call the next one in... said the examiner. Excuse me, Wait Said he. Teresa turned around. Do not forget to hint the rest that the external guy inside is dumb and they can yell whatever they want. That is how they can score more! I will ask the next one whether you told them or not If I get to know you didnt, then Ill take care of your marks he warned. Ok Sir she said... Go on then he said.

As soon as the crowd waiting outside saw Teresa Green coming out of the door, all the girls mobbed her like a herd of sheep while the boys peeped over the railing. Was it easy? Is he giving good scores? Tough ones? What did he ask? Is he single? were some of the questions thrown at her as they squeezed her to get the answers. Few of them took some blank papers to scribble down what she is about to tell. Rubbish...take it easy the external is like a fool he is listening to anything that you say Say whatever that comes to your head, that's enough, He'll give you good marks she replied. Now they are dead! she said to herself as she walked away with a cunning smile on her face.

The next guy entered inside the hall. He put his papers in front of the examiner and sat quietly humming a few verses. hmmmmm..m.m.m..m.mm.m.m.m hmmm.m.m.mm.m.m.m.m.m.mm.mmmmm mocked the examiner which brought Harish back to senses. What's your name? Harriiish-hhh, sir said he shivering. What is your favourite topic? Communications, sir WOW!! Really?? What are the uses of optical fiber? he asked. There are many uses of optical fiber, Sir and optical fiber has many uses, Sir. The examiner starred at him at once as Harish continued his efforts The uses are many with optical fiber because there are many wide range of uses which are used using optical fiber... HELLO BOSS!!! ENOUGH!!!... he screamed without hesitating. Do you have any clue what you are talking about?!... I asked you to answer, not to repeat the question...the examiner asked. Sure... I was just about to start now assured Harish. Oh!! You will start now? What was it you did until now...some ritual ceremony?? asked he. Optical fiber is a kind of fiber and it is a very good fiber!!... he continued. Optical fiber uses communication and communication uses optical fiber So, optical fiber plays a crucial role in communication

Hence, this is optical fiber and its uses concluded Harish. What are you waiting for...say off Hence proved too GO! Say it buddy said the examiner. HENCE PROVED!! declared Harish happily. Nice touch of Humour youve got there said the examiner and sighs Let it be what does A.L.U mean? he continued further. A.L.U means... A.L.U only sir... said Harish. WHAT!!!??? yelled the examiner in shock. OH I'm sorry, I didn't know that A.L.U means A.L.U... he continued LEAVE NOW!! Whats your roll number? he asked before showing him the door. Twenty Six, sir he replied politely. GET OUTTT!! Sir, marks Sir?? Eh...I'm not giving any marks or anything Get out now!

It was Fredricks turn now he was already pacing up and down the stairs till now and when his number was called, he entered the room with a stinking shirt, and sat obediently near the examiner. Hmmm What is the use of a capacitor? he asked. SSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssssss sounded Fredrick,as if he is trying to remember the answer by holding his head SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssss. Mocked the examiner by holding out his chest. Why are you hissing like a snake? the examiner asked Did you bring a snake along or what? No sir, I read this just the day before just the day before... answered Fredrick. Okay! How can you differentiate between digital and analog communications? asked the examiner with all his patience. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.. again, now by holding out his eyes. replied Fredrick

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss .. mocked the examiner again by rubbing his nose against his fingers. Its like Im blowing out hot tea the examiner suggested. I read that chapter just yesterday sir... just yesterday... I studied everything except this one... just this one... assured Fredrick. Oh!! I see Controlling all his emotions, he asked, What is 'Apashyaam Paam Kiri Kiri'?.

Shit... I read that an hour ago Sir... Just before coming here, I read that concept Sir... I am unable to recollect it, I just read it before coming said Fredrick as he gave him an assured look. What!!?? I have no idea what I just asked you...and you are saying that you read it an hour ago??!! asked the examiner Just get get out, GET OUT! he screamed. Sir...marks? he asked with all his innocence out up on his face. Just get out... If you are here for one more second, I will make you book a Tatkal ticket on a peak festival season IDIOT said the examiner with a growling look as he screamed NEXT...

Why do we need cathode in this process? he asked. We need cathode in this process because the process needs to be completed... But the process cannot be completed without cathode So, we need cathode in this process concluded Rohit. Do you know how you've said it? asked the examiner as Rohit looked up. It was like... Life is boat boat is a life...so it is a LIFEBOAT!! NEXT!!! he screamed as Rohit was sent out of the door.

Ajay walked in and made himself comfortable. Once the examiner threw a question at him, he started to wave his hands in the air like a magician performing the final trick with the crowd. Are you asking me to answer my own dumb question? asked the examiner strangely. Ajay continued his magical movements in the air, signing that he is about to recollect the answer. What's your problem brother? asked the examiner out of much hyped curiosity. SIRR... ITS COMING!! screamed Ajay all of a sudden which shock the examiner out of his chair. HEYY WHAT IS COMING?? he asked out of fear. The answer Sir!! said the cool Ajay. Have you been learning Viva or over-acting? the examiner asked. Sir, Can you repeat the question? asked Ajay curiously after finishing his magic show. What did you say?? asked the examiner You forgot the question itself? Alright he continued. How does a processor work? The processor works according to the process, the process of processor is the processing of process... when a process comes into the processor, the processor processes the process and sends according to the process so, this process of processing the process is done by the processor This is the main function of the process of the processor... said Ajay as he smiled at the examiner with confidence.

Just...STOP... STOP IT... All that I hear is the word Processor but nothing else... said the examiner. I will just ask you one more question... Sure, sir. What are the different types of diodes? Ajay started to wave his hand again this time by representing how to make a dosa on hot pan. I am WARNING you once again, if you know the answer just tell it, or tell you don't know...but don't make dosa's in mid-air... warned the examiner. Sir...marks... Ajay asked, as the examiner scribbled on his sheet. For what do you need marks for? Just because you made these wonderful dosas in air? GET OUT!! said the annoyed examiner.

Keerthi came in next her oath of silence remained as the examiner threw a set of questions at her. Tell me... he asked. Say something! Something... Anything is ok with me...! he continued. Sister!! At least tell that you don't know the answer... he pleaded her. Aaah... At least say AAAAH... he said, as he continued pleading with all his might. Please say something! he begged at last as he bite his own hand with disappointment. Next.. said the tired examiner as he waved his lazy hand towards her.

That is reason we call 'SHAKELAKA-THE-NEW-DRAGON' process... said Dinesh with a brim of confidence on his face. Do you at least know? What you just said? asked the doubtful examiner. What I just told is hundred percent correct sir! yelled Dinesh raising his voice. Why are you yelling? WHAT I JUST TOLD IS HUNDRED PERCENT CORRECT SIR bloke? asked the examiner in anger. Don't I know what is correct and what is wrong? continued the examiner. That's right...you know NOTHING... shouted Dinesh. YOU SCUM! Why are answering back with that tone?What is that rudeness on your face? asked the examiner I will ask you 5 questions... if you don't answer them...I will kick you out... asked the examiner as Dinesh looked forward for the battle. What is Impulsion? Impulsion is a... started Dinesh, meanwhile

What is Compulsion? What is Repulsion? Sir... Sir... just wait a minute Let me answer then one at a time pleaded Dinesh. The examiner continued What is Repression?? What is Depression?? Sir, let me explain Sir... begged Dinesh at last. No no... Youve not even answered a single question! It's over...You are getting a zero! Get out! screamed the examiner as he said NEXT!!! by banging the table.

Define CNG! he asked Catherine. PASS!! she replied with a cute smile. PASS?? Do you think this is a picnic game...GET OUT!! he screamed again. Each one has their own act and their own unique style... he said to himself as Catherine walked out of the room.

Hey! Why are you here again? He asked the next student. Do you know that the review will be conducted only once? he asked him looking confused. Sir, it was my brother who came before... replied Arun. We are twins Sir... said he as he smiled at the examiner. Looks like I have this double bonanza offer too??!! Now, I am afraid how many variations you are going to show me... said the worried examiner to himself. Okay... Tell me about valve theory... he began his round of questioning. Okay Sir...Okay Sir... said Arun showing a thumbs-up sign as his gesture for confidence. It plays an important role Sir Ok Sir... Ok Sir! continued Arun along with his thumbs-up gestures. It plays a crucial role Sir Ok Sir? Ok Sir! he went on further. It is an important process Sir Ok Sir? Ok Sir! Hold on... Hold on... shouted the examiner It plays an important role... It plays a crucial part ... It is an important process ...

All these three mean the same, dont they? asked a curious examiner. Leave these and tell me anything else! he said further. Okay Sir... continued Arun. Without this we cannot accomplish the task Sir...Ok sir? Ok sir! Ok? Ok? concluded Arun with his confident gestures along with his body language. Your brother is better than you, he was talking pure rubbish But you are the inventor of it! GENIUS!! proclaimed the examiner showing him the door.

The clock struck 11:00 a.m. A handsome, young man turn up at the hall and sees all the students sitting around. Ok boys! So you are from fourth year EEE right? he asked some guys near the door. Yes sir! They replied. Im sorry for the delay my bike got stuck in traffic As we are already late, so shall we start the review? Is the room opened? asked the young man. Sir, we're already done with the review! replied Arun. What??!! Who conducted the review? I am the external examiner and am supposed to conduct the review for your department said the examiner showing them the official papers. There is someone inside conducting the session, Sir replied Rohit. The examiner peeped inside and came out laughing. This guy??!! he asked them Is this the guy who conducted your project review? he asked the entire group. YES SIR!! they replied all together. He is your passed out senior the examiner revealed He failed Viva thrice and this will be his fourth time... Let's go... he said to the entire group of curious and anxious dumb-stuck students looking at him in the state of shock. Everybody looked angry with their muscles tightened. Ajay held his brothers hand and said, Let it go brother... he acted BETTER than all of us!!

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