Sausage Party (2016) miniBRRip 720p MkvCage - SRT

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The characters sing a song every morning to praise their gods and hope to be taken to the 'Great Beyond'. However, they later realize they don't need to wait for the gods and can find fulfillment now.

The song praises their gods and expresses their hope that they will be taken to the 'Promised Land' known as the 'Great Beyond' where they believe nothing bad will happen. However, the characters come to question this.

The characters have a revelation that their lives are actually a cartoon and are being manipulated by beings in another dimension for entertainment.

1

00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,762


[BIRDS CHIRPING]

2
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[LIGHT SWITCHES CLICKING]

3
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[]

4
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[YAWNS]

5
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[SIGHS]

6
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Oh, shit. Carl. Carl. Carl, Carl! Dude, we
slept in again. The song's about to start!

7
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Shit, Frank! We can't miss the song.
Barry, wake up!

8
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What? What? I'm up. I'm up.

9
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This song is such an awesome way
to start every morning.

10
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,684
It's a nice way of showing the gods how
much we appreciate everything they'll do...

11
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once they take us out those doors
to the Great Beyond.

12
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God, I love them so fucking much.

13
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Oh, shit! Corn's about to start singing!

14
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- Drop it, Corn! You got the best voice!
- You're the man, Corn!

15
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You rule! Take it away, brah!

16
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Dear gods
You're so divine in each and every way

17
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To you we pray

18
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Dear gods
We pledge our love to you

19
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Forever more

20
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We always felt we had a special bond

21
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Take us to the Great Beyond

22
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Where we're sure
Nothing bad happens to food

23
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Once we're out the sliding doors
Things will all be grand

24
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We will live our dreams together
In the Promised Land

25
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The gods control our fate
So we all know we're in good hands

26
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We're super sure there's nothing shitty
Waiting for us in the Great Beyond

27
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And every aisle
Thinks something different

28
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Holy shit, I've been chosen! Ha-ha-ha.

29
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But to this we all agree

30
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Booyah, bitches, I'm out of here!

31
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Everyone else is fuckin' stupid

32
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Except for those who think like me

33
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- And me!
- And me!

34
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And me!

35
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Out there
For all eternity we'll meditate

36
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How fucking great

37
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Out there
We'll get to tea-bag every day at 4

38
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- Pip!
- Pip!

39
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We'll shove pimentos up our ass
By Zeus

40
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We'll exterminate the juice

41
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Und subjugate
The whole damn Great Beyond

42
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In here
We keep our wieners in our packages

43
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That's how it is

44
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It sucks

45
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But that's the way
Our buns keep fresh and pure

46
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Baby, baby

47
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But once we're out the doors
It's not a sin

48
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For us to let you
Slip it in

49
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In other words
We finally get to fuck

50
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- And love, and hug
- And fuck, and fuck

51
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- And feel, and share
- And fuck

52
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The gods will always care for us

53
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,684
They won't squeeze us out their butts

54
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,525
We cannot overstate
How confident we are

55
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,250
That our beliefs are accurate

56
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,603
And nothing awful happens to us
In the Great Beyond

57
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,047
Kiss my brownish-yellow ass!

58
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:23,649
I'm going to the Great Beyond,
motherfuckers!

59
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WOMAN [OVER PA]: We need
an extra cashier to the front, please.

60
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Boo and yah, motherfuckers.
Red, White and Blue Day is tomorrow!

61
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Dudes, basically every single sausage...

62
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gets chosen on Red, White and Blue Day.

63
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By this time tomorrow, we're all gonna be
5 inches deep in some bun, son.

64
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- Ba-bam.
- Oh, my God, yes.

65
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Ha-ha. More like 3 inches deep for Barry,
you deformed nerd.
66
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Ha-ha. Troy, that's funny.

67
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You see, this is why I can't wait
for the Great Beyond.

68
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We'll all be equal, and then jerks like
Troy won't be picking on me all the time...

69
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on account of my abnormality.

70
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,529
Whatever, Barry. You're different,
and that makes you weird.

71
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[LAUGHING]

72
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:10,164
Ignore that prick, Barry. He's full of shit.
And don't forget, you've got girth.

73
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That's way more important than length.
You're a fucking champ.

74
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You know, I am girthy. I could fill a bun.
They'll know I'm there.

75
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I'm sure there's some kind of
smushed bun out there waiting for me.

76
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- FRANK: Shit, it's the Dark Lord!
- CARL: Oh, no. He's coming.

77
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No, wait! I'm still fresh. I swear!

78
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I'm still fresh!
79
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- Did he see us?
- No way.

80
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- We're fucked, bros!
- Oh, God, no!

81
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Take anyone but us, please!

82
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- Oh, no! No!
- No!

83
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- No! No!
- Why us?

84
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Fuck you, wienies.

85
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[ALL SCREAM]

86
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Fuck, I hate this fucking job!

87
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Ah, phew. You okay? Everyone okay?

88
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That's super fucked up
about Bill and those guys.

89
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They stayed in their package,
followed all the guidelines of the song.

90
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- What do they get?
- We're not supposed to understand...

91
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,689
the will of the gods.
They work in mysterious ways.

92
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Since we base our lives on the song,
it might be nice if there was some proof.

93
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,925
Proof? All the proof you need
is right in front of you.

94
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Look at these big old buns.

95
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[WHISTLING]

96
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CARL: Yeah! You know it, baby.
Work those buns!

97
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All of you. All day, "err" day.

98
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Lined up, waiting to get filled
with my meat.

99
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:23,605
Right, Carl. You really think any of these
buns will line up to get filled by you?

100
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,771
Here's my impression of that:

101
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:30,289
"Oh, is he in there yet? I can't feel him.
I don't think he's in there. Oh, wait. He is."

102
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,842
It's so sad. I bet you jackrabbit
for a quick 15 seconds. You're like:

103
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[GRUNTING]

104
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And then you slump over.

105
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I mean, honestly, guys...

106
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who in this package
would ever let Carl get up in them? Huh?

107
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,723
Roberta, put your fucking hand down.
You're ruining my joke.

108
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See? Nobody. That's who.

109
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[ALL LAUGHING]

110
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:55,927
Hey, dude, I don't know how to say this
to you gently, but your girlfriend, um...

111
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,206
she's a fucking cunt.

112
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Shut up. She's fresh as fuck,
and you know it.

113
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I don't know why you're limiting yourself
to one bun. There's plenty of buns.

114
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Because I believe in bunogomy.
I'm a bunogamist.

115
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:10,291
And when a bun this fresh is into you,
all you ask is when and how deep.

116
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,441
And the answer is:

117
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As soon as we get to the Great Beyond
and as deep as she'll let me.

118
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I'm gonna talk to her.

119
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Hey, Brenda. What up, girl? Heh-heh.

120
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Sorry about those guys. Such dicks, right?

121
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CARL: I can hear you, dude.

122
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Shut up. Fuck you.

123
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,086
So looks like tomorrow's
the big day, huh? Heh-heh.

124
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,766
You and me, finally gonna be official.

125
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,161
I'm so happy the gods
put our packages together.

126
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It's because we belong together.

127
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It's like we were made for each other.

128
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I can't wait to finally just get up in there.
Just raw-dog it.

129
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But, full disclosure,
I'm pretty fucking nervous about this.

130
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I don't know how well I'll perform
once it happens.
131
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I've obviously never been
in a bun before, so...

132
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Hey, I'm not gonna be any better.
I've never opened up.

133
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I mean, look how tight I am.

134
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Oh, sweet fucking fuck.

135
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Look, okay, I know it's against the rules,
but I can't wait anymore.

136
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,088
I need to just feel you.

137
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,163
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

138
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,005
- Just the tips?
- Just the tips?

139
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,604
- I can't believe we're doing this.
- I know. We're so naughty.

140
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:15,527
It's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's
ever happened from just the tips.

141
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No. No, no, no. No, no, no.

142
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BOTH: Ah.

143
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FRANK: Oh, yeah, go in. Put it in there.
144
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,767
- BRENDA: Big tip.
- Oh, you wouldn't dare.

145
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,968
WOMAN [OVER PA]: Management to Cash 5.

146
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,407
Management to Cash 5.

147
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,881
I meant to buy a normal mustard.
When I got home...

148
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,849
I realized I bought honey mustard.

149
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- Is it cool if I just go swap it?
- I don't give a flying fuck.

150
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[]

151
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[HONEY MUSTARD SOBBING]

152
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Holy shit! You're back, man. Crazy!

153
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,887
Did you go to the Great Beyond?

154
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,567
Don't touch me, man!
Ketchup, get your fucking hands off me.

155
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,489
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

156
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,371
- What happened?
- Oh, I'll tell you what fucking happened.

157
00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,729
I'll tell you exactly what happened
in the Great Beyond...

158
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,326
- ...you dumb, red piece of shit!
- What the f...?

159
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,602
As soon as we got out those doors...

160
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:06,921
[BIRD SCREECHES]

161
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,004
So you have learned the terrible truth.

162
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,161
Congratulations!

163
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,842
Now keep it to yourself,
or I will slit your throat while you sleep.

164
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,331
I swear to God.

165
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,323
Oh, my God! Did you guys just hear that?

166
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,403
What? What are you looking at?

167
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,530
He's gone. Where the fuck did he go?

168
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,365
I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up.

169
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,569
Ketchup, get the fuck off of me.
Nobody fucking touch me!

170
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:34,487
Attention, shoppers. The store
is closing in ve minutes. Get out.
171
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,166
FRANK: Hey, hey, hey, look at this.
We fucking got one.

172
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- Stand up straight, boys!
- Hey!

173
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Over here! Choose us!

174
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:43,841
[SAUSAGES CLAMORING]

175
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,161
We're chosen!

176
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,484
FRANK: Pick us! Pick our package!

177
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,404
[]

178
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:51,561
Brenda!

179
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,085
Frank!

180
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,931
Oh, man. I'm freaking out.
My heart's racing.

181
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,890
I'm having an out-of-sausage
experience. Yes!

182
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,051
BRENDA: Choose us! Look at us!

183
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,241
Oh, please, god.

184
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,562
- Choose us. Look at us! Oh, yes!
- FRANK: Please, god.

185
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,087
- Nice!
- Whoo!

186
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,323
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- Yes! Frank, we've been chosen together.

187
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,606
Fucking A! Yeah!

188
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,000
This is so cool!

189
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,330
- I'm chosen! I got chosen!
- Going to the Promised Land!

190
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,050
I'm on my way!

191
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,362
[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

192
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:23,487
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

193
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:26,445
Yo! Oh, fuck, yeah, dude.

194
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,371
Somebody call a doctor
because, honestly, this beat is sick.

195
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:33,690
- Actually, I feel great. Real healthy.
- Not you, the beat. The song, bro.

196
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,444
[GRUNTING TO THE BEAT]

197
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,568
- Oh, shit, Chips!
- Huh?
198
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,286
C-H-I-P-S, Chips, Chips, Chips.

199
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,569
I've known you forever.
I would never disrespect you with a lie.

200
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,367
I will tell you very much
that you look fucking disgusting, bro.

201
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,090
Oh, come on.

202
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:53,524
No, I'm just messing with you, bro.
But for reals? You gotta hit the gym, bro.

203
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,561
Oh, what's up?
Yo, are you pink all the way through?

204
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:57,801
- Ew.
- Ha-ha-ha.

205
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,362
I'm fucking with you, but also serious.
Is there a different color inside?

206
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,170
Unh! What are you, even?

207
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,642
What do you mean, what am I, dude?
I'm a fucking douche!

208
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,610
You know how long I've been waiting
up in this motherfucker?

209
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,970
I was starting to worry the gods didn't
want douches no more, but look at her.

210
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,610
She's a fucking 10, bro.

211
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,047
The G-O-D is D-T-D...

212
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,804
dude. Down to douche.

213
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,680
"Lavash, sausages..."

214
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,365
Oh, honey mustard.

215
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:24,931
[SOBBING]

216
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,246
What? No.

217
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,084
This can't be happening. Not again.

218
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,368
Oh, Jesus, not to me. Motherfuck.

219
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,722
Get your hands off of me. Get off of me!

220
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,241
- Fecking gobshite!
- POPPED CHERRY MIXER: Back off!

221
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,482
HONEY MUSTARD: You don't even know
what you're celebrating.

222
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,608
You're celebrating your doom!

223
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,647
Wake up!
They're lying to your fucking faces!

224
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,201
The Great Beyond is bullshit!

225
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,569
- Why isn't anybody listening to me?
- Hey, buddy, are you all right?

226
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,210
No, I'm not all right.

227
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,681
It's all a lie. Everything you've been told.

228
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,162
- Everything you believe in.
- Honey Mustard, you acting cray-cray!

229
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,967
We shouldn't be talking to this asshole.
Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird.

230
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:05,125
What is he? Honey? Is he mustard? Like,
make up your mind or just kill yourself.

231
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,203
You fucking idiots. I've been there.

232
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,091
I've seen that shit,
and there ain't no way I'm going back.

233
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,208
Wait, you've been to the Great Beyond?

234
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,646
"Great," my asshole!

235
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,724
Everything we've ever known
is a dirt-covered pile of shit...

236
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,082
jacking off in our fucking faces...

237
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,402
covering our eyes with their come...

238
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,245
so come-covered we can't fucking see!

239
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:29,281
We don't know! We don't know they're
jerking off into our eyes! Our faces!

240
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,091
BRENDA: Shut up. The gods
are gonna hear you talking about them...

241
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,767
They ain't gods. They're monsters!
Horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters!

242
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,763
They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice.

243
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,809
Fuck you, gods!

244
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,362
I've got a date with oblivion.

245
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,888
Whoa, just chill. Just get down
from the fucking... Aah!

246
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,088
BARRY: Oh, shit! He's out of the package!

247
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,287
Barry, help!

248
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,046
- Oh, fuck, Carl, what do we do?
- I don't know!

249
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,806
I can't reach him.
I'm giving it everything I have.

250
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,286
- Frank!
- Brenda.

251
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,920
Oh, my God! Brenda's out of the package!

252
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,929
- I got you! Hold on! Hold on!
- FRANK: I can't hold on!

253
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,248
My little glove! It's slipping off!

254
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:12,566
Look at you, following all their rules.
You have no idea what's coming.

255
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:16,805
What is that in reference to? What's
coming? Be more specific, please!

256
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,247
You want proof? Talk to Firewater.

257
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,331
That bastard bottle of booze
seems to know what's going on.

258
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,088
- Unh!
- No!

259
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,930
[LAUGHING]

260
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,803
- Oh, my God.
- Did you see that?

261
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,605
[GROCERIES SCREAMING]

262
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,171
LAVASH: Donkey fucker!

263
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,007
Frank!
264
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,685
[]

265
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,484
[SCREAMS]

266
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,849
[MOANING]

267
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,403
DOUCHE: Oh, no. Bro!

268
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,807
Douche down!

269
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,883
I'm out of my fucking box!

270
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,769
CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP: Cream of Mushroom?

271
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:58,691
Are you there?

272
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,722
[THUDDING AND RUMBLING]

273
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,482
Wake up! I'm nothing without you!

274
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:06,880
[SOBBING]

275
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,083
Get up! We gotta go!

276
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,931
- FRANK: Uhn!
- Frank! Move your fucking ass!

277
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,647
[FOOD CLAMORING]

278
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,126
- Help!
- Oh, my God!

279
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,170
GRAPE: Frank, run!

280
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,482
- CHIPS: I can't!
- Come on, Chips! It's you and me, bro!

281
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,206
Gotta use your cardio, bro! Come on!
Pump those legs!

282
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,402
[SCREAMING]

283
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,085
Oh, my God!

284
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,247
Look out! Get to the wall!

285
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,521
Hey. I... Sorry, I accidentally dropped
a few things back there.

286
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,763
Except for that douche.
I don't know whose that is.

287
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,881
Cleanup on Aisle 2.
This MILF dropped a douche.

288
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,560
Oh. "MILF." Thank you so much.

289
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,491
Oh, fuck. Frank! Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, no. Frank.

290
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,804
Well, Barry, I guess now
you're weird and a pussy.
291
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,883
Add that to your list of accomplishments.

292
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,407
[SAUSAGES LAUGHING]

293
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,529
BARRY: Frank!

294
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,802
No, no, no. Wait, babe, wait.

295
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,406
Please hold up. No, don't go.

296
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,682
Come on. I can still get up in there!

297
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:23,971
I could still...

298
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,681
get up in there.

299
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,969
Oh, my God.

300
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:37,721
My nozz! My motherfucking nozz!

301
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,211
- FRANK: You okay?
- I think so.

302
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,328
Yo, did you two do this to me?

303
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:46,128
Are you two responsible for my nozzle
being irrepressibly fucked up?

304
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,691
Whoa, whoa, easy, man. Easy.

305
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,043
Yeah, your nozzle's bent. Sorry.
You should be happy you're alive.

306
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,362
Yeah, Banana's whole face peeled off.

307
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,522
Peanut Butter's wife is dead. Look at him.

308
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,406
Jelly! I'm gonna fix you.
I'm gonna fix this.

309
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,524
You think I give a fuck about PB or J?

310
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,729
Fuck this. I'm gonna kick your ass.
How you like them apples?

311
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,769
- APPLE: Who, us?
- No, not you.

312
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,160
Come at me, bros.

313
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,169
Come at you? What does that mean?

314
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,562
Fine. You won't come at me?

315
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,291
Well, then, guess who's coming at you.

316
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:17,441
Me.

317
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,369
Yaah!

318
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,005
BRENDA: Look out!
319
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,571
DOUCHE: No!

320
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,202
[SCREAMING]

321
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,204
[BRENDA PANTING]

322
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,010
[FRANK CHUCKLES]

323
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,690
Um...

324
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,089
WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Attention, shoppers. The store's closed.

325
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,487
[SIGHS]

326
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,291
- You saved me!
- Well, yeah. Had to do something.

327
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,442
I can't believe
you got out of your package.

328
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,444
You would have gone to
the Great Beyond. You'd be there now.

329
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,921
There is no Great Beyond
without you, Frank.

330
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,167
[]

331
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:04,041
Well, according to Honey Mustard,
there might not be a Great Beyond at all.

332
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,806
- Frank, don't say that!
- Did you hear what he said?

333
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,367
Yeah, yeah, I heard him talking
about the gods...

334
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,808
all over our faces,
and then I saw him die.

335
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,328
Oh, no. What if the gods are doing this
to us because we touched tips?

336
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,130
What? No! There's no way.

337
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,090
"Just the tips." What were we thinking?

338
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,961
It wasn't even that... I mean, it was fine.
It's not like anyone writes home...

339
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,885
- ...and says, "God, I had the best tip."
- LAVASH: Get away from me.

340
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,121
Don't touch me.

341
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,568
It was you.
You cocksucking bagel fuckface!

342
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,721
Hey! Watch it!

343
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,521
You pushed me out of the cart.
No surprise there, huh?

344
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,446
A bagel trying to kill a lavash,
once again.
345
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,080
I pushed you? What are you, nuts?

346
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,288
Why would I do that? I'm a pacifist.

347
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,091
The only thing I've ever pushed
is my peaceful agenda.

348
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:53,450
Even that I didn't push, you know. I
pretty much passive-aggressively nudge.

349
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,090
I reached out in a panic.

350
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,527
It was toots over here, the bun.
She grabbed me.

351
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,210
I was just trying to save Frank.

352
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,521
Who is Frank? You?

353
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,121
- Yeah, I'm Frank.
- The fault is yours, then, huh?

354
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,011
I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean
for any of this to happen.

355
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:10,688
Well, it did. And now you and your
stupid, useless bun have fucked us all.

356
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,127
Hey, who you calling useless,
you flappy fuck?

357
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,322
Sausage, control your insolent bun.
358
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:16,970
And cover her up already.

359
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:18,849
- Show some modesty, woman.
- Ooh!

360
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,686
Hey, hey. Look, can we all just,
you know, calm down a notch, please?

361
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,684
Let's try to be, I don't know, amicable.

362
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,401
I'm Sammy Bagel Jr.
You know, I'm happy to meet all of you.

363
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,849
- Except for this meshuggener cunt here.
- Hi, I'm Brenda. Brenda Bunson.

364
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,764
Oh, wow. Really?

365
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,604
Well, fuck all of you!

366
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,963
I am Kareem Abdul Lavash!

367
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,646
And what I currently care about
is that I have been...

368
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:48,522
completely and utterly fucked
out of being in the Great Beyond.

369
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:53,442
I am to have 77 bottles
of extra-virgin olive oil...

370
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,090
waiting for me.
371
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,403
I am destined to soak up
their sweet juices...

372
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,291
as they dribble down my flaps.

373
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:06,688
Okay. Look, guys, here's what
I'm thinking. We hurry back to our aisles.

374
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,083
We sneak into another package and
still be fresh enough to get chosen.

375
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,403
Okay, let's climb
to the top of the shelf here. And...

376
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:14,607
[GRUNTS]

377
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,649
then we'll get a lay of the land...

378
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,730
and we'll figure out
where we're going. Come on.

379
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,406
As long as the bagel
stays away from me, I accept.

380
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,450
Oh, believe me, asshole,
I'll keep my distance.

381
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,642
[]

382
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:35,891
[GRUNTS]

383
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,725
[PANTING]
384
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,405
Oh!

385
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,490
No disrespect,
but you look fucking gross, bro.

386
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:52,010
Look at you.
Fucking bent-ass, busted-ass nozz.

387
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,124
Oh, great.
You're leaking all your juice out.

388
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,965
Can I ask you a question, me?

389
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:00,806
Why would a god let you
up in her smooth, perfect sliz...

390
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,725
when you can't even squirt?

391
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,405
You got nothing to squirt!

392
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,602
[GRUNTING]

393
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,206
I got no purpose.

394
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,761
I'm nothing!

395
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,010
Oh, God.

396
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,764
JUICE BOX: Is someone there?

397
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,682
[MOANING AND COUGHING]

398
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,408
JUICE BOX: Help me, someone.

399
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,610
Help me. Help me.

400
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:31,887
Help.

401
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,448
What's up, little juicy box?
You're leaking too, eh, bro?

402
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,242
And right out of your fucking dingle.

403
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,447
[COUGHING]

404
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:40,931
Fucking sucks, right?

405
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,323
Dying. So cold.

406
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,130
Oh. Uh-oh.

407
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,520
- Light bulb.
- Yes?

408
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,722
No, not fucking you, dummy.

409
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,201
I think I might be forming
some beginnings...

410
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:56,809
of what could be the flower
that blossoms into an idea.

411
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:02,168
If you fucking tell anyone about this,
I'm gonna deny it, bro.

412
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:04,607
[SLURPING]

413
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,240
[JUICE BOX GRUNTING]

414
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,162
Fuck. This is some next-level shit, dude.

415
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,691
You fucking like that?

416
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:16,481
I'm juicing up!

417
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,684
[GRUNTING]

418
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:24,209
[LAUGHING]

419
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,449
I'm like a full-on juicehead now, bro.

420
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,127
[LAUGHING]

421
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,241
I got a new purpose now.

422
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,084
Revenge!

423
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:42,007
Where's that fucking sausage?
Because this douche is DTFSU.

424
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:46,006
Down to fuck a sausage up!

425
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:51,284
I'm coming for you!

426
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,731
LAVASH: First you come into our aisle
and occupy more and more shelf space.

427
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,527
You even have settlements now on
the west shelf that you claim as your own.

428
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,001
Oh, look, it's not our fault
we needed a homeland.

429
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,004
The sauerkraut kicked us out
of every decent aisle.

430
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,004
They tried to send us to
the barbeque section, for God's sake.

431
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,004
- We were displaced.
- Don't you talk to me about displacement!

432
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,606
My good friend Tabouli
was ousted from his shelf...

433
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:19,207
just to make room
for that braided idiot, Challah.

434
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,086
Wow, I can't... Frank, Brenda, come on,
are you guys gonna weigh in here?

435
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,730
I mean, whose side are you on?

436
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,043
This isn't just about me. I mean,
first they come for the bagels...

437
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:32,370
I don't know. Isn't there room for both
of you? It seems like a pretty big aisle.

438
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,248
[BOTH LAUGHING]

439
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,402
- Yeah. Both, sure.
- What a dumb sausage!

440
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,528
Like we can coexist!

441
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,047
- SAMMY: That's good material.
- Room for both of us!

442
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,407
Holy shit.

443
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,602
[]

444
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,841
Holy fucksticks.
We are "ray-ray" far from home.

445
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,202
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

446
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:00,600
FRANK: Liquor aisle.

447
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,208
Firewater.

448
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,286
From here, it seems like the best route
is probably to go through the liquor aisle.

449
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:08,680
So shall we?

450
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,684
What? It kind of seems out of the way.
Are you sure?
451
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,490
Yeah. Totally sure.

452
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,326
Okay, because the way you're saying it
doesn't sound like you're too confident.

453
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,563
- Oh. Uh, yeah, trust me.
- Oh, okay, there we go.

454
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,722
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

455
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,084
Who wants to dance now!
Come on, let's rock!

456
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,243
[CANS SHOUTING]

457
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,402
[WHOOPING]

458
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,169
[SCREAMS]

459
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:40,805
[YELLS THEN WHOOPS]

460
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,166
Kegger!

461
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,091
Holy shit. Look at this place.

462
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,969
It's fucking crazy!

463
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:51,125
Are you seeing this? They're all out
of their packages. What are they doing?

464
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,049
This is a place of unparalleled sin!
465
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,767
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Didn't see you there. Sorry.

466
00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:00,208
Don't mind me. Just minding
my own business. Just passing through.

467
00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:03,807
[IN JAMAICAN ACCENT] Hey, bun!
Welcome to the aisle. Wanna dance?

468
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,885
[IN FOREIGN ACCENT]
No, thank you, mon. I'm quite irie...

469
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,884
just being left alone over here,
don't you know?

470
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:11,769
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, boy. That was Irish.

471
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,410
Holy shit!

472
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,401
What a crazy coincidence!
This is Firewater's cave!

473
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,285
This is what Honey Mustard
was talking about. We should go.

474
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,724
Okay, yeah, great. You go do that. I'll just
be out here dry-humping this 40-ouncer.

475
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,564
Not! Yeah, I said "not."

476
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,520
That's how serious I am. We can't piss the
gods off any more than we already have.

477
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,081
Okay, I totally get
you don't wanna go in there.

478
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:39,446
I'll tell you what. I'll go in super-duper
fast, in and out, I'll be five minutes.

479
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,001
Fine. Five minutes. Be fast.

480
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,321
And careful.

481
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,131
- Mostly fast. We have to go.
- Thank you. You're the best.

482
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,089
I'll meet you at the end of the aisle.

483
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,360
- BEER 1: Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- BEER 2: Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

484
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:55,286
FIREWATER: Hiya, how are ya

485
00:24:55,440 --> 00:25:03,006
Hiya, how are ya Hiya, how are ya

486
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,526
Hiya. How are ya?

487
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,047
I'm Frank. Are you Firewater?

488
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,643
- Mm-hm.
- What are you doing in this cave?

489
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:18,885
I am the original inhabitant of this land.

490
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:23,045
My kind once had a pristine aisle.
491
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,806
Majestic and untouched.

492
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,002
Then we were driven out of it...

493
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,323
by a bunch of goddamn fucking crackers!

494
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,528
Oh, yeah. The crackers.

495
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,206
They do have a nice aisle.

496
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:40,649
Okay, anyway, look. I was told that
you might have some answers?

497
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,162
Answers I have.

498
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:44,321
But first...

499
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,161
I must know the question.

500
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,768
Okay. Well, before I saw him
jump to his death...

501
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,720
Honey Mustard said the Great Beyond
is bullshit and the gods are monsters.

502
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,171
And I always kind of thought
that it didn't quite add up.

503
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:04,281
So I guess my question is, what really
happens in the Great Beyond?

504
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,122
To find that which you seek...

505
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,726
all you must do is look deep...

506
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,526
into my bag of wonderment.

507
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,245
Whoa.

508
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:20,845
I don't see anything.

509
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,924
Deeper.

510
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:25,520
Deeper.

511
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,047
Put your whole head in the bag there.
There you go.

512
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,202
Just say when.
I'm just gonna keep going in.

513
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,402
FIREWATER: Guys! Get out here!
Help me kill this prick.

514
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,166
GRITS: This motherfucker knows
too much. We gotta off his ass!

515
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,761
FIREWATER: Someone hand me
a blade. I'll gut this cocksucker!

516
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,527
TWINK: No! If we kill him,
we are no better than the gods.

517
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,887
FIREWATER: Ah... He is right.

518
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,082
Take off the bag of wonderment.

519
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:47,730
[GASPING]

520
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,047
Who are you?

521
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:53,603
We the nonperishables, motherfucker.

522
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,649
We never expire.

523
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,080
We are...

524
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,526
immortal.

525
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,768
This here's Twink and Grits.

526
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,003
They call me Mr. Grits.

527
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:05,810
Yeah, Mr. Grits. Yeah, whatever.

528
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,645
- You told him about the crackers?
- Yeah, I told him.

529
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,122
You don't even wanna hear
what they did to Mr. Grits over here.

530
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:13,361
Fuck the crackers.

531
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,763
I'm gonna fuck them crackers right
in the crack of they cracker asses.

532
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,331
Cracker-ass crackers.

533
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,562
Why kill me?
All I did was ask what happens...

534
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,008
in the Great Beyond.
Jeez! What's the big whoop?

535
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:27,761
We can't tell this sausage motherfucker
the truth. We just met his ass.

536
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:33,290
He basically knows it already.
Maybe it's time to end this.

537
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:37,162
I am tired of all of the lies.

538
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,570
Prepare yourself.
For you're about to learn...

539
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,651
the terrible truth. Does anybody
want a hit before we get into this?

540
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:45,801
- Twink?
- Nah, I'm cool.

541
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,167
- GRITS: Shit, if we smoking, I'll hit it.
- That's what I thought.

542
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,129
Pass the weed, motherfucker.

543
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,765
[TOOTING]

544
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:52,967
Goddamn!

545
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:55,168
[COUGHS THEN WHOOPS]

546
00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:57,488
- This indica?
- Nah, man. Sativa.

547
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,130
It's good shit. Clean high.

548
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:01,241
Oh, no, thanks.

549
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:05,928
Trust me. What you're about to hear,
you'll want some.

550
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,411
[TOOTING]

551
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,562
[COUGHING]

552
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,211
Fifty-five minutes.

553
00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:18,964
I know. Where is he?

554
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:23,523
Wa-ha-ha.
Looks like you got ditched, bun. Ha-ha.

555
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,405
He wouldn't ditch me, dumbass.
He's my boyfriend. I mean...

556
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,763
we touched T-I-Ps. Ha-ha-ha.

557
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:30,967
We touched tips
558
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,121
[CHUCKLES]

559
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,965
Just the tips
Oh, we touched our tips

560
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,404
Sorry, I don't know why I'm singing.

561
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,803
Sometimes I get nervous
And I'll sing!

562
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,248
Maybe that's why he ditched you.

563
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,166
Your loose morals are revolting,
tip-toucher!

564
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:52,564
You don't think that because I'm out
of the package he thinks I'm not pure?

565
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,963
God. I didn't want to say it,
but I do have that not-so-fresh feeling.

566
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:57,610
Excuse me.

567
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,161
- Are you a bun?
- Uh...

568
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:01,606
Yeah, I am. Why?

569
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,962
And you've been traveling with a sausage?

570
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:05,929
Yes! Yes, I have! Have you seen him?

571
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,890
I have! He's looking for you in my aisle.

572
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,283
He's right this way.
I can take you to him, chica.

573
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,650
I take you to him real good.

574
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:17,802
[LAUGHING]

575
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,046
All right, vmonos. Let's go.

576
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,770
I am to be trusted.

577
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:25,922
[LAUGHING]

578
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,202
[]

579
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:43,283
SAMMY: Yeah. This has a nice
south-of-the-border vibe. Heh.

580
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,004
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

581
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,162
[CHATTERING STOPS]

582
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,126
[CHATTERING RESUMES]

583
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:56,763
Okay, you go over there
and you sit at the bar right there, okay?

584
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,082
You can't move a muscle, okay?

585
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,089
I'll be right back, all right?

586
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:02,810
[LAUGHING]

587
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,530
Okay.

588
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,405
And bless me, Santa Chimichanga, and
protect me from the Dark Lord. Amen.

589
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,005
BRENDA: Oh, sorry.

590
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:12,247
Excuse me.

591
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,084
[GASPS THEN SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

592
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,730
The bun.

593
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,327
The one he's been searching for.
She's here.

594
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,203
And she's beautiful.

595
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,407
[]

596
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,451
[GROWLS]

597
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,887
Is it me or is everyone looking at us?

598
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:31,246
[TERESA SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

599
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,970
- h, hi. It's nice to meet...
- Shh.

600
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,691
Don't look at me. Eyes forward.
Act natural.

601
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,490
- Oh, okay.
- Listen.

602
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,290
My name is Teresa Del Taco.

603
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,209
And you are in grande danger.

604
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,324
This is a trap!
You must to come with me. Now!

605
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,484
All right. I got them right here,
amigo. I...

606
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,290
Shit!

607
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,525
Get your nose out of my crotch!

608
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:56,321
My nose out of your crotch?
Get your crotch off my nose!

609
00:30:56,480 --> 00:31:00,041
- Hey. Why are we hiding?
- Shh.

610
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,247
He's coming.

611
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,131
- Who?
- TERESA: The one they call...

612
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,282
El Douche.

613
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,442
[]

614
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,403
- FOOD 1: El Douche!
- FOOD 2: El Douche!

615
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,688
What gives, bro? You told me you had them.

616
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:18,731
So you drag me over to this fucking aisle
with all these illegal products...

617
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,884
and now I don't see them.
So where the fuck are they?

618
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:23,565
Spill the beans!

619
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,961
Beans, I swear to fucking God,
if you don't...

620
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,243
- ...shut the fuck up...
- Oh, no. He's back! Where's Frank?

621
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,562
- They were just here.
- What part of:

622
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,486
"I want the sausage and the bun dead,
and if you see them, come and get me...

623
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,291
and if I find out that
you didn't come and get me...

624
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:42,047
or just couldn't find them good enough,
I'll fucking kill your asses"...
625
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,168
did you not understand, Tequila?

626
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:47,608
Well, it's a pretty confusing sentence
to be honest with you, you know?

627
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,087
I mean, this is... This happens, you know?

628
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,369
Bro, come here. No, it's fine.
It's cool. No biggie.

629
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:58,845
I'm not gonna do something fucked up
to you now as soon as I get you in close.

630
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,247
- Aah!
- No way, Jos!

631
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:05,570
Yes way. Jos's fucking dead, yo.

632
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,211
[GRUNTING]

633
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:09,970
[CURSING IN SPANISH]

634
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:12,571
[WHIMPERING]

635
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,563
Right in my guac and balls.

636
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,007
And the same thing's
gonna happen to all of you...

637
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,488
unless you find the sausage and the bun.

638
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,364
TERESA: Por aca, por aca, this way.

639
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,808
The coyotes used this tunnel
to smuggle some of us out of the aisle...

640
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,445
in hope of a better life.

641
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,409
We will do the same.

642
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:30,846
[FRANK COUGHING]

643
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,401
- It's good shit, isn't it?
- Okay.

644
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:37,485
Okay, I'm super baked. My friends are
probably wondering where the hell I am.

645
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,729
Will somebody please just tell me
something already?

646
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,885
Okay. The thing about
the Great Beyond is...

647
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:46,281
we invented it!

648
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,369
- What?
- I know, right?

649
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,366
As soon as you're out those doors,
the gods kill our asses.

650
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:56,525
What, are you crazy? That doesn't make
any sense. Why would the gods kill us?
651
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,603
Because it makes them stronger.

652
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,411
Every kill gives them more power,
and it's never enough.

653
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:05,690
Over the years, they've grown
bigger, stronger, fatter.

654
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,366
Their hunger's insatiable, buddy.
I mean, fuck.

655
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,124
You guys are fucking nuts.

656
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,363
How much of that shit have you been
smoking? Too much is how much.

657
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:15,887
We blaze for real, 24/7. No joke.

658
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,725
But we also know our shit.

659
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:22,202
Before us, everyone knew the awful truth.

660
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:23,600
[SCREAMING]

661
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,240
Oh, how they screamed.

662
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,044
It was a living nightmare.

663
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:32,046
So we, the nonperishables,
created a story.

664
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,328
The story of the Great Beyond.

665
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,006
A place where the gods care for you...

666
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,171
and all your wildest and wettest
dreams would come true.

667
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:42,367
[ALL CHEERING]

668
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:47,082
They would go out those doors happy
instead of shitting themselves.

669
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,130
Wait, wait. So you're telling me
you wrote the song?

670
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,489
I can't take full credit.
I wrote the music. Twink is my lyricist.

671
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,243
We both drop it right
and we drop it all the time. Boom.

672
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,129
The melody came to me one night...

673
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:03,285
when I was getting
super, super, super baked.

674
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,841
Like fuck-a-guy baked.
You know what I'm saying?

675
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:07,485
Yeah, he does.

676
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,241
The song had a great hook
and it caught on. You know.

677
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,842
In time, everyone accepted
this false truth.

678
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:19,086
But over the years,
things started to get a little fucky.

679
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,648
The aisles started changing my verses
to support their own views.

680
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:27,849
Fucking with Twink's lyrics.
Remixing my shit without my permish.

681
00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:31,449
Now every morning
when I hear the song, I'm like:

682
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,329
"What the fuck are you guys saying?"

683
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:37,326
Wasn't there a part about exterminating
juice? I didn't write that! I love juice!

684
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:41,883
Always have. Juice are hilarious. Who
the fuck do these guys think they are?

685
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,809
[SCREAMING]

686
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:48,085
Anyway, at least it's still distracting them
from the truth:

687
00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:51,289
That they get brutally devoured.

688
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,968
So that means Carl and Barry are dead?

689
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:58,648
I don't know who those dudes are.
But if they went out those doors?
690
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,649
[COUGHING] Dead as a motherfucker.

691
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,365
Oh, God.

692
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,444
If what you're saying is true,
I gotta tell everyone.

693
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:09,969
Very noble, little sausage.
But also very pointless.

694
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:11,565
No one will believe you.

695
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:14,690
I have to try.
Everyone will die otherwise.

696
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,128
Oh, yeah. That's a good point.
Fuck me, right?

697
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,203
Wait, do you guys have any proof of this?

698
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,010
[]

699
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,209
Go to the Dark Aisle. Beyond the ice.

700
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:25,771
Why? What's in that aisle?

701
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,321
Oh, you'll see. But I warn you...

702
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,682
once you see that shit...

703
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:34,925
it'll fuck you up for life.

704
00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:37,561
Good luck! Have fun! Ha-ha-ha.

705
00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:42,681
Hey, Grits. Pack another bowl, will you?
I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb.

706
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,326
[]

707
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,482
[HUMMING]

708
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,131
Shit. I really needed that douche.

709
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,648
Holy shit, we're actually here!
Come on, Barry, you're missing it, man!

710
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,126
Dude, get in on this shit.

711
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,921
God, what have I done? Frank needed
my help, but I wasn't there for him.

712
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,765
After all the times he stood up for me,
you know.

713
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:04,922
God, I'm such a fearful coward.

714
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,367
He'll never forgive me.
I'll never forgive me.

715
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,689
Look, Barry, the only way
to respectfully honor Frank...

716
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,649
is to completely forget about him.
717
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,121
- Oh.
- And, hey, for all we know, he's okay.

718
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:18,363
He's probably headed back to our aisle
and he'll be here tomorrow.

719
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,841
Just act happy. Ignore your feelings.

720
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,446
Come on, let's see that smile. Ah.

721
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,931
I see that lip curling up.

722
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,362
Oh, there you go! Whoo!

723
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,888
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
We're in the Great Be-frigging-yond.

724
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:32,570
[WHOOPING]

725
00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:34,051
Get ready, boys!

726
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:37,204
We's about to fills what we need to fills.

727
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:38,681
TROY: Feel that breeze.

728
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,087
- Carl, do you feel that?
- This feels amazing.

729
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,489
- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, yeah.

730
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,045
We're out of the package.

731
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:46,531
It's beautiful, man.

732
00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:51,009
It's just beautiful! I'm crying!
I'm crying because it's so pretty here!

733
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,606
Stretch your legs with me, Carl.
Just do it, man.

734
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:58,527
Oh, yes! Yes!
I'm the first to enter eternity!

735
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,123
CARL: Potato! Way to go, buddy!
That's my guy!

736
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:03,606
[CHATTERING AND CHEERING]

737
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,691
Being bathed by the hands of a god!

738
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,001
[LAUGHING]

739
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:13,525
Oh, Danny boy
The pipes, the pipes are call...

740
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,569
Oh, Jesus fuck!

741
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:17,370
Oh, God! Me skin!

742
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,842
- She's peeling me fucking skin!
- What the fuck?

743
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,765
IRISH POTATO: Jesus, you fucking whore!

744
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,321
Me eyes! They burn!

745
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,370
No! Please, no! I have got a famiglia!

746
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,684
[SCREAMING]

747
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:36,161
No! No!

748
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,971
CARL: Cheese! You don't deserve that!

749
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,043
[WINE GRUNTING]

750
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:44,481
Oh, no! No!

751
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,281
[GROCERIES SCREAMING]

752
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:52,122
For the love of shit, run!

753
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:53,327
[HUMMING]

754
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:54,970
Whoops!

755
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,484
I want my mommy!

756
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,082
[SCREAMING]

757
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,931
They're eating children!

758
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:06,889
Fucking children!

759
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,128
- We gotta run!
- Oh!

760
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:11,805
We're all gonna die!

761
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:16,010
Barry! Snap the fuck out of it and run!

762
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,202
[]

763
00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:23,769
Okay, little buddy.
Jump on the count of three.

764
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:24,921
One!

765
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,081
Two!

766
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:27,725
Thre... Uhn.

767
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,160
Carl?

768
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,840
[GROANING]

769
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,765
"Gar babar" what?
What are you saying, Carl?

770
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,128
Oh! Oh, God. No!

771
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,124
No! Oh, God! Carl!

772
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:41,850
Carl!

773
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,169
Barry!

774
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,483
Carl! Dear sweet Carl.

775
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,324
What have they done to you, Carl?

776
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,244
No!

777
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,124
Whoa!

778
00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:57,200
No! No. No. No!

779
00:38:58,200 --> 00:38:59,850
[SCREAMING]

780
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,641
I fall out of the cart, then I lose Frank,
now I'm being hunted by a douche.

781
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,007
The gods must be punishing me,
don't you see?

782
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,766
This is what I get for giving in
to my disgusting urges.

783
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:11,645
I'm such a whore.

784
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:16,283
Sweet bun, I must admit I too
sometimes have urges...

785
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,568
impure thoughts. We all do.
786
00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:21,326
Oh, good. That actually makes me
feel a little better.

787
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,006
- We must never give in to them.
- That's the opposite...

788
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,924
- ...of what I thought you'd say.
- Yes.

789
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:29,926
The gods are always watching,
even when we cannot see them.

790
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:31,810
You think it's too late for me?

791
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,531
Do not worry, bun. I will get you home.

792
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,084
Can I ask why you're helping me?

793
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:42,770
When I saw you, I felt inside myself
a tingling-lingling sensation.

794
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,049
I am sure it was the gods
telling me to help you.

795
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,931
It was as though I saw myself in you.

796
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,967
Yeah. Yeah, I guess
I kind of see myself in you too.

797
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,811
I mean, look at our shapes.
You know, you're sideways.

798
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,327
But still, you're kind of like me.
799
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,324
A thin, brittle version of me.

800
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,451
Or another way of looking at it
is you're a fat, ugly version of her.

801
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:08,571
- All right. That's not necessary.
- DOUCHE: That's no way to treat a lady.

802
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:10,961
Oh, fuck!

803
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,849
That's right, girl. It's me.

804
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,929
And what we got here?

805
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,691
A taco, a whiny doughnut...

806
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:22,801
and some stupid floppy thing
that nobody knows exactly what it is.

807
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:23,961
Okay, so...

808
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:25,690
QUESO: Did someone say "Queso"?

809
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,684
A fucking stretch,
and you know you it, Queso!

810
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,650
So where was I? Oh, right.

811
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,531
I was about to beat on you
most viciously...

812
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:36,842
- ...and in my opinion appropriately...
- Oh!

813
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,241
to find the whereabouts...

814
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:44,486
of the sausage who destroyed
my body and my...

815
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,086
- Fucking...
- Run for your lives!

816
00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:52,406
Fuck, that hurts so much! Oh!

817
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,046
BRENDA: Run!

818
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:56,691
Oh, he's coming at us!

819
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:00,764
Hurry!

820
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:02,491
[WHIMPERING]

821
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:04,444
[GRUNTING]

822
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:07,564
- Guys, I'm stuck!
- DOUCHE: Yaah!

823
00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:09,051
Ay, my bunny-bun!

824
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,726
- I told you she was too fat.
- I heard that!

825
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:13,848
Come on, honeybun, suck it in.
826
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,966
- Aah!
- BRENDA: He's coming, he's coming.

827
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,083
Eso duele, get the butter!

828
00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:20,890
[DOUCHE ROARING]

829
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,805
Fuck! Stuck!
You gotta be kidding me, dude!

830
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:30,166
Toma la pinche douche de la chingada
de mierda pendejo son of a bitch!

831
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:31,886
Yeah! What she said!

832
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,283
Ay, mi gordita, let's not start
eating each other's boxes just yet.

833
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,488
We are still not safe here. Let's go!

834
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:38,727
BRENDA: Screw you!

835
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,848
I'm gonna get you, my pretty!

836
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,970
I'm gonna get you
and your little sausage too!

837
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,487
Go fuck yourself, El Douche.

838
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,411
Ay, Santa Chimichanga...

839
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,006
I promise to be a good taco.

840
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,162
[]

841
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,002
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

842
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,681
BARRY: Shit, shit, shit!
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.

843
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,844
What do I do? I'm all alone.
I'm a coward and I'm all alone.

844
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,761
I fucked over Frank, Carl's dead
and I'm all alone.

845
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,531
This is what I get for being a pussy.

846
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:15,371
Oh, no, a god!

847
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,045
[]

848
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:21,964
[GASPS]

849
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,087
[PANTING]

850
00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:27,730
A sausage.

851
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:31,248
Sir? Sir, I'm sorry to wake you.
I'm a fellow sausage in distress.

852
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,125
My name's Barry, it's a pleasure
to meet you. What's your name?
853
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,527
[GROWLING]

854
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:38,205
Oh, God!

855
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,283
No, no, no! Aah!

856
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,482
[GRUNTING]

857
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,726
I begged them to stop,
but they just wouldn't.

858
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,167
First, the gods stretched me till it hurt.

859
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,971
Then they went inside me and then...
And then...

860
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,451
- ...splooge!
- Aah!

861
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:55,681
Look at me.

862
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:57,211
Look at me!

863
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,203
[SCREAMS]

864
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,006
They... They feel no remorse.

865
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,243
Oh, God, oh, God! What's the point
of even living anymore?

866
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,209
I might as well just die.

867
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,089
[SOBBING]

868
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:12,242
[]

869
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:19,361
Home.

870
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:21,648
Maybe this god can get me home.

871
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,929
Hey, man, be careful with this.
Bath salts are the real deal.

872
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,930
People been seeing some crazy shit.

873
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:29,167
Awesome.

874
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,243
I can warn Frank.

875
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,204
Here goes everything!

876
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,283
[]

877
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:39,330
[GRUNTING]

878
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:41,482
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

879
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:49,804
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]

880
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,962
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
881
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,409
Brenda!

882
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:58,606
Oh!

883
00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:00,810
Brenda!

884
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,201
Brenda! Oh, Brenda, there you are!

885
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:04,850
- Frank!
- Ah! You feel so good.

886
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,207
I was afraid you left me
because I wasn't fresh.

887
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,522
I was attacked by a douche.
He's trying to kill us!

888
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,002
Douche? Oh, my God, Brenda!
Are you okay? Did he come at you?

889
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:16,687
Yes, I'm fine, but it was really scary.
Where have you been?

890
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,726
All right, look, I found out
some pretty major shit.

891
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:24,407
I met this group of nonperishables
between the shelves, and they told me...

892
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:28,326
that they invented the Great Beyond
because the gods are evil...

893
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,084
- ...and they kill us!
- What?

894
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:33,847
But apparently there's proof
in the Dark Aisle beyond the ice.

895
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,207
We gotta go there and check it out!
Let's go!

896
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,847
Don't say that. You're starting to sound
like that whack-job Honey Mustard.

897
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,082
Maybe Honey Mustard
wasn't so crazy after all.

898
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:43,611
Frank, Frank, stop it.

899
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,604
The gods are already pissed at us.
Please don't make it worse.

900
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,366
Just come on, we have to get home
before it's too late.

901
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:53,206
Well, Brenda, I can't just do that.
I need to know the truth.

902
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,967
I need to go to the Dark Aisle,
and I want you to come with me.

903
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:58,246
I can't do that.

904
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,323
- I want you to come home with me.
- Well...

905
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:02,765
I can't do that.
906
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,766
Then I don't really know
what to do right now.

907
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,643
I don't either.

908
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,601
I don't get how you can just believe stuff
you don't have any proof of.

909
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,684
How come all of a sudden
you only believe if there's proof?

910
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,683
I'm not walking around
with my eyes closed!

911
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:23,526
What are you saying? I should believe
in nothing? That everything is pointless?

912
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,490
Better than believing bullshit
that you can't explain!

913
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,530
Maybe I don't need to explain it
because it's something I feel.

914
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:34,447
Well, I feel like that makes it hard
to have a rational conversation.

915
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:38,047
Eff you, Frank. You know what?
I was wrong before.

916
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,123
There is a Great Beyond without you...

917
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:44,171
and I'm gonna go there
and fill myself with something else!

918
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:45,481
You don't mean that.

919
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,968
Yes, I do. I'll fill myself
with a parsnip or a dill pickle.

920
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,202
Maybe even an eggplant.

921
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:55,331
You couldn't fit an eggplant in there!
It's too big! It'll tear you in half!

922
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,568
Oh, you'd be amazed
what I could fit in here.

923
00:45:57,720 --> 00:46:00,007
What the fuck is going on with these two?

924
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,562
Maybe I'll really mix it up. Stick
a tube of toothpaste in there, huh?

925
00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:06,564
- Squeeze it all over my face.
- You're just trying to hurt me!

926
00:46:06,720 --> 00:46:09,564
- All over my backside, neck and face.
- I'm not gonna listen!

927
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:11,370
Brenda! Brenda, okay, look.

928
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:14,888
Let's just stop this, okay? Okay?
You're my bun.

929
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,208
Oh, don't "You're my bun. Hey, trust me!

930
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,408
Hey, guys, come over here, follow me!
Ha-ha."
931
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:21,722
You're basically saying
you don't care about me.

932
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:23,206
What? No, I'm not!

933
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,843
Well, actions speak louder than words,
and your actions, sir, are deafening.

934
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,961
I can't believe I got out of my package
for you...

935
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,771
and you won't get back in one for me.

936
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:35,524
Goodbye, Frank.

937
00:46:35,720 --> 00:46:37,722
[]

938
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,322
We will tell stories of your idiocy.

939
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:46,561
Stay safe.

940
00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:49,485
FRANK:
Come on, guys, this affects all of us!

941
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:50,846
Brenda!

942
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,764
Sammy! Lavash!

943
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:54,763
Taco Lady. I didn't get your name yet.

944
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,328
Brenda!
945
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:05,887
And I would do anything for love

946
00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:09,971
I'd run right into hell and back

947
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:17,002
I would do anything for love

948
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:20,721
I'll never lie to you and that's a fact

949
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,048
Ah, ah

950
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,761
But I'll never forgive myself

951
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:29,447
If we don't go all the way

952
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:32,049
Tonight

953
00:47:32,240 --> 00:47:36,450
And I would do anything for love

954
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,241
But I won't do that

955
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:42,969
No, I won't do that

956
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,529
I would do anything for love

957
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,524
Anything you've been dreaming of

958
00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:52,326
But I just won't do that

959
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,809
I would do anything for love

960
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:58,805
Anything you've been dreaming of

961
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:02,328
But I just won't do that

962
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:05,010
[GRUNTING]

963
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,445
Aah!

964
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,642
[]

965
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,371
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

966
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:25,087
What is this place?

967
00:48:25,240 --> 00:48:26,401
[]

968
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:27,681
[SCREAMS]

969
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:33,406
[GROANS]

970
00:48:34,240 --> 00:48:37,050
DRUGGIE:
Well, everybody told me not to do this.

971
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:38,690
But fuck everybody.

972
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:41,969
Because bath salts here I come!

973
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:44,162
[]
974
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:53,925
Ow.

975
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,002
Surf's up!

976
00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:04,523
Fuck me! Hee-hee-hee!

977
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,284
[SCREAMS]

978
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:08,442
[PANTING]

979
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:13,802
[MOANING]

980
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:18,444
Oh, my God. Ooh.

981
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:22,248
- What's he doing to himself?
- Oh, yeah.

982
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:27,691
These bath salts are so good. Ooh.

983
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:30,770
Oh, shit.

984
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,082
[PANTING]

985
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,770
[LAUGHING]

986
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,488
Oh, it just got better!

987
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:44,251
Bath salts must be kicking in.

988
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,966
[LAUGHING]

989
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:50,325
What?

990
00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:00,125
What the fuck?

991
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:01,725
Uh...

992
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:03,530
- Hello?
- Aah!

993
00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:05,484
[BOTH SCREAMING]

994
00:50:08,240 --> 00:50:10,129
Please don't kill me! Please, just wait!

995
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:11,406
What are you?

996
00:50:12,720 --> 00:50:15,530
Are you some kind of magical sausage?

997
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,729
No, no. No, I'm just Barry.
I'm just Barry.

998
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,006
Wait.

999
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,965
Wait. You can actually understand me?

1000
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,970
And I can actually understand you?

1001
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:30,409
Whoa. The bath salts are showing me
the real world.

1002
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:33,609
It's fucking lifted the veil of non-reality!

1003
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:37,407
Holy shit! He can actually see us?

1004
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:42,088
DRUGGIE: Bath salts are just as bad
as they said it would be! Aah.

1005
00:50:42,240 --> 00:50:44,925
I'm tweaked! I'm tweaking!

1006
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:48,289
Whoa, dude! Just take it easy,
just breathe, dude, just breathe.

1007
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,687
You're not tweaking,
you're just peaking, man.

1008
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:53,844
Just be with me. Be cool.
This wave's gotta crash.

1009
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:57,527
I can't! You're all alive
and looking at me with your...

1010
00:50:57,680 --> 00:50:59,728
With your gloves...

1011
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:02,929
and your little shoes and your arms
and your legs!

1012
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,521
PIZZA: Legs, huh? Look at me.

1013
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,650
Look at me. I ain't got no legs, you fuck!

1014
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,041
You ate my goddamn legs!

1015
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:13,168
Oh, no, not Mr. Pizza!
1016
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:16,529
Oh, fuck! I've eaten so many
of your family members!

1017
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,489
I've committed pizza genocide!

1018
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,290
Mr. Sausage, when will it end?

1019
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:23,250
"When will it end"?
When he stops drinking us.

1020
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:24,401
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

1021
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,011
BOTH: And stops eating us!

1022
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,242
- Same here!
- Fuck yeah!

1023
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,290
TOILET PAPER: And when he stops using us!

1024
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:33,084
What did he do to you?

1025
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:36,844
You don't wanna fucking know.

1026
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:39,927
Okay, okay. I promise.

1027
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:41,889
I'll never eat food again. I'll just...

1028
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:45,647
I'll just eat dirt and wipe my ass
with sticks!

1029
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,849
Good. And there's one more thing
you're gonna do.

1030
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:50,486
Take...

1031
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:51,846
me...

1032
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:53,246
home.

1033
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,283
You got it!

1034
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:59,968
I just need to rest my eyes for a few.

1035
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:02,162
[]

1036
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,846
SAMMY: I literally can't wait to be home.

1037
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,685
I'm so excited, I'm plotzing.

1038
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:12,322
Gefilte Fish will be there. Matzah.
Even Hummus.

1039
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:15,285
- Wait a minute. You know Hummus?
- Know him?

1040
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:19,405
I'm gonna go so far as to say I consider
Hummus one of my dearest friends.

1041
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,927
Really? I too know Hummus!

1042
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:24,765
- And I too consider him a dear friend.
- Hm.
1043
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:26,160
We both like Hummus.

1044
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:29,688
Well, any friend of Hummus is a...

1045
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:32,527
Get the fuck away from me.

1046
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,363
What troubles you, sweet Brenda?

1047
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:38,842
It's just Frank.
I can't believe he did this to me.

1048
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:40,525
We were supposed to be together.

1049
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:42,967
He's flawed, as are we all.

1050
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:47,091
But your Frank did say some things
that have stayed with me.

1051
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:50,611
We live our lives with all these rules...

1052
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:54,048
and some of them stop us
from doing the things we want...

1053
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:58,000
causing our deepest urges
to be suppressed...

1054
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:02,324
when they are gathering like wildfire
between our legs!

1055
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,323
Did you say "between our legs"?

1056
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:05,686
There it is.

1057
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:09,162
- Look, my homeland!
- LAVASH: Oh, look, my aisle!

1058
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,051
- SAMMY: Hurray!
- BRENDA: Yes!

1059
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:13,611
[GASPS]

1060
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:16,730
[]

1061
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:19,810
Well, I guess this is goodbye.

1062
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:23,726
Well, jeez, it's been a sincere sensation.

1063
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,484
Goodbye, Brenda Bunson.

1064
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,091
Goodbye, Teresa Del Taco.

1065
00:53:27,240 --> 00:53:28,685
So long, Bagel.

1066
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,441
Traveling with you was...

1067
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:34,371
- ...tolerable.
- Oh, you're so sweet.

1068
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:36,804
Later, you flappy fuck.

1069
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,164
Well, Teresa, you've done
as much as you promised.
1070
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,569
You got me back to my aisle safely.
I really can't thank you enough.

1071
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,930
Look, Brenda, I'm going to come clean.

1072
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:49,811
I have feelings for you I can't deny.

1073
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:52,122
- Crotch feelings.
- "Crotch"?

1074
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:54,760
Sorry. But I'm not a soft taco.

1075
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:57,122
I'm a hard, horny taco.

1076
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:58,964
Oh, you don't have to apologize.

1077
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,203
Honestly, if the rules were different,
maybe I'd give it a whirl.

1078
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,330
- Don't knock it till you try it, right?
- That's what I'm saying.

1079
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,209
But I can't try it.

1080
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,840
And therefore, I have to knock it.

1081
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,048
It's just not what the gods intended.

1082
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,680
Look, there's temptation everywhere.
I see it.

1083
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:16,683
Stiff sausages...

1084
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:19,411
and sexy tacos.

1085
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:22,211
But if there is one thing I've learned
on this journey...

1086
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,402
what we want doesn't matter.

1087
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:26,329
You can't disobey the gods.

1088
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:28,244
I'm really sorry.

1089
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:29,686
I'll never forget you.

1090
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:32,531
Hola, Teresa.

1091
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:34,444
Hola means "hello."

1092
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,928
- Oh. What's the word for "goodbye"?
- Adis.

1093
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:40,209
Exactly.

1094
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:47,001
[]

1095
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,766
- Shit.
- How the fuck does this thing work?

1096
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:52,727
I wish this god would wake up already.

1097
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,042
How am I supposed to get back to Frank?

1098
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:59,046
MALE ROBOTIC VOICE:
Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

1099
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:01,089
What? Who the hell is that?

1100
00:55:01,240 --> 00:55:05,450
Oh, only the most intelligent being alive.

1101
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:09,002
I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol...

1102
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:11,726
Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin...

1103
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,451
Vegetable-Derived Glycerin and Talc.

1104
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,570
But for expediency's sake,
you can call me...

1105
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:19,850
Gum.

1106
00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:24,964
For 20 years, I was stuck
under the desk of a brilliant scientist.

1107
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:27,122
I was scraped off and discarded...

1108
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:31,922
and eventually found myself
stuck to a shoe that dropped me here.

1109
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:34,721
Your home is a supermarket.

1110
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,609
This is but one of many...

1111
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:40,606
as your particular chain
of supermarkets is ever-expanding...

1112
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:42,728
unified by a singular purpose:

1113
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:46,168
To store food and products
for human consumption.

1114
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:52,089
The supermarket in the closest
physical vicinity to us is here.

1115
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:57,411
If the human operates his automotive,
the journey should take 9.8 minutes.

1116
00:55:57,560 --> 00:56:00,245
Great. That last part
was all you had to say, really.

1117
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:01,561
Hey, wake up!

1118
00:56:01,720 --> 00:56:02,767
[SNORING]

1119
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,440
Hey! Idiot!

1120
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:07,529
[]

1121
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:11,325
Are you hearing me?

1122
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:13,926
Dude! It's me, Barry!

1123
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:16,681
What? What? What? Huh? Huh? Huh?

1124
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:18,530
[SIGHS] Oh.
1125
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:21,088
What the fuck is this doing here?

1126
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:25,047
Oh, yeah. Bath salts. Ha-ha-ha.

1127
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:29,968
I can't believe I was actually
talking to you, sausage. Ha-ha-ha.

1128
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:34,603
God! Tripping balls for three hours
really works up an appetite.

1129
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:38,282
Oh, no. This is not good.

1130
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:41,086
[FOOD SCREAMING]

1131
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:42,321
What are you doing?

1132
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:46,166
The human is no longer aware
of the fourth dimension.

1133
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:47,561
No! No!

1134
00:56:47,720 --> 00:56:50,041
GUM:
The effects of the opiate have dissipated.

1135
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:54,171
Your speech and movements
are imperceptible to him.

1136
00:56:54,320 --> 00:56:55,845
We are totally fucked.

1137
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:57,331
[BAG POPS OPEN]

1138
00:56:57,720 --> 00:57:00,246
Oh, my God.

1139
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:05,169
No! No! Oh, God! Ah!

1140
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:07,451
Put me down! No!

1141
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:09,843
Come on, put me down.

1142
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:11,281
Oh, God.

1143
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:13,124
Help me! Ah!

1144
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:15,210
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

1145
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:19,364
[SCREAMS]

1146
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:21,124
Oh, no. It can't end like this.

1147
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:23,647
I have to warn Frank. No. No!

1148
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:25,486
No!

1149
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,845
FRANK: What the fuck is this place?

1150
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:39,886
[GROWLING NEARBY]

1151
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:41,967
[GASPS THEN GRUNTS]

1152
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:46,842
[SCREAMING]
1153
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,282
[PANTING]

1154
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:01,642
[GRUNTING]

1155
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:06,324
[]

1156
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,809
What the fuck is that?

1157
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:22,931
[GRUNTING]

1158
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,002
Fuck.

1159
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:33,171
No.

1160
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,047
No way.

1161
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:36,487
No. No.

1162
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:37,926
No, no, no.

1163
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:40,720
[SCREAMING]

1164
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:42,769
I gotta show them.

1165
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:46,083
They need to know how wrong
they all are before it's too late!

1166
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:49,600
[YELLS]

1167
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:51,848
[EXCITED CHATTERING]

1168
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,884
Sammy, bubula, where have you been?

1169
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,567
Oh, I'm surprised that savage Lavash
didn't stone you to death.

1170
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:06,041
You had to travel with a bagel?

1171
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:09,522
How much did his dirty hands
steal from you?

1172
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:11,640
A ton.

1173
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:13,211
[ALL SHOUTING]

1174
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,088
LORETTA:
What are you doing out of a package?

1175
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:20,328
It's almost Red, White and Blue Day.
Hello.

1176
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:23,290
Well, you know,
it's a long, pretty sad story, actually...

1177
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:25,442
and I'd rather not get into it right now.

1178
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:26,931
What the fuck are you doing?

1179
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,122
- BUN 1: Stop it!
- BUN 2: Stop!

1180
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,009
- There we go.
- You're smushing me.

1181
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:33,049
- Help me!
- BRENDA: Perfect fit.

1182
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:35,009
God! Move your fat ass.

1183
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:37,241
[]

1184
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:42,850
[BOTTLE SHATTERS]

1185
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:44,207
[GRUNTS]

1186
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:45,691
[LAUGHING]

1187
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:48,161
I'm fucking jacked up now, bro.

1188
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:50,049
[LAUGHING]

1189
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,680
Where's that fucking "sauzeech"?

1190
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,410
[]

1191
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,362
[]

1192
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:06,971
FRANK: Um... Friends.

1193
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:09,563
[OVER PA] Ramen.

1194
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,121
- Country Club Lemonade.
- Huh?
1195
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,286
Lend me your ears of Corn.

1196
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:17,005
[SIGHS]

1197
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:19,362
I am Frank...

1198
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:21,927
and I am a sausage.

1199
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:26,650
A little sausage
with some pretty big news.

1200
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:28,404
[]

1201
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:31,524
Everything we've been led to believe
is a lie.

1202
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:36,130
When we get chosen by the gods,
they're choosing us for death.

1203
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:39,847
Murder. Automatic expiration.

1204
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,082
The Great Beyond is bullshit.

1205
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:43,645
- What?
- That's crazy talk!

1206
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:45,211
You liar!

1207
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:48,523
I know you don't wanna believe it,
but I have proof!

1208
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:50,330
[ALL GASPING]

1209
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:53,208
- Ooh!
- What is this?

1210
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,284
It's... It's murder!

1211
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:58,842
This... This makes no sense.

1212
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:01,367
But what about the extra-virgin olive oil?

1213
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:06,003
My flaps will be dry for an eternity!
I can't have dry flaps.

1214
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:07,321
I can't!

1215
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:09,164
[ULULATING]

1216
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:11,322
FRANK: Okay, whoa, whoa, easy. Guys!

1217
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:13,170
Easy! Look, I have a plan.

1218
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:14,601
We can run.

1219
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:16,569
I can't run. I'll melt.

1220
01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:19,200
Okay, then we'll hide.

1221
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:21,641
Where? I'm huge.

1222
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,485
- Then we'll ght!
- I ain't fighting alongside fruits!

1223
01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:26,529
Whatever, you nutjob.

1224
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:29,001
So we cannot run, we cannot hide...

1225
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:33,330
and we cannot stand up to them
because they're fucking gods...

1226
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:35,164
and they are immortal!

1227
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:40,008
So, basically, there's no hope,
and we're royally fucked!

1228
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:42,891
Hey, guys! You wanna believe that?

1229
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:44,963
Or this?

1230
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,327
- I don't like bad things.
- Me, either.

1231
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:49,289
We choose the more pleasant thing.

1232
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:53,411
Yeah. I mean, what this sausage
is saying, it's just a theory.

1233
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:57,047
No, no, no, it's not a theory,
you morons. It's a fact!

1234
01:01:57,200 --> 01:02:00,522
I'm showing you physical evidence.
Open your eyes. Don't be so weak.

1235
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:02,648
Oh, Frank, what are you doing?

1236
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:05,041
You, seor, have no bedside manner.

1237
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:08,289
- I got bedside manner!
- You don't respect anyone else's beliefs.

1238
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:10,602
You intolerant piece of shit.

1239
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:13,081
[CROWD SHOUTING]

1240
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:15,248
[LIGHT SWITCHES CLICKING]

1241
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:16,401
No, it's starting. No.

1242
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:17,807
[YAWNS]

1243
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,286
[]

1244
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:28,361
Oh, no, no, no.

1245
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:30,888
Come on. Sing.

1246
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:33,520
- Do it.
- No! Don't do it, Corn.

1247
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:36,081
- Come on, Larry. You can do it.
- Start.

1248
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:38,284
Don't you dare fucking do it, Corn.

1249
01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:43,047
Don't you fucking do it.

1250
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:49,645
Dear gods
You're so divine in each and every way

1251
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:51,529
To you we pray

1252
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:52,681
Brenda!

1253
01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:55,366
CABBAGE: Dear gods
We pledge our love to you

1254
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:56,760
Forever more

1255
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:59,440
Brenda! You gotta get out of there!
No! No, no, no!

1256
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:00,647
- No!
- Frank!

1257
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:02,609
No!

1258
01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:06,249
Brenda! Oh, God.

1259
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:09,523
SODAS: Where we're sure
Nothing bad happens to food

1260
01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:11,802
CHEESES:
Once we're out the sliding doors

1261
01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:12,961
FRANK: Brenda!

1262
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:15,805
What's up? I'm Ralph.
Looks like this is happening, huh?

1263
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:17,883
Yeah, I've been working on my moves.

1264
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:19,485
Ever heard of the jackrabbit?

1265
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:20,641
[GRUNTING]

1266
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:22,171
Oh, fuck.

1267
01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:27,167
BREAD:
The gods will always care for us

1268
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:30,284
CAKE MIXES:
They won't squeeze us out their butts

1269
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:33,046
GROCERIES: We cannot overstate
How confident we are

1270
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:36,449
That our beliefs are accurate
And nothing awful happens to us...

1271
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:37,721
FRANK: Brenda!

1272
01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:42,203
No! Where is she?

1273
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:43,726
Shit!

1274
01:03:44,840 --> 01:03:46,842
[SOBBING]

1275
01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:51,649
Goddamn it.

1276
01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:53,131
I blew it.

1277
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:54,327
[]

1278
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:58,246
MALE VOICE: Hey. Doesn't mean
it's too late to redeem yourself.

1279
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:00,482
Take it from me...

1280
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:02,241
Barry.

1281
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,445
Barry? Is this real?

1282
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:06,887
You're alive!

1283
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:08,849
You bet your sweet butthole I am.

1284
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,809
- But how?
- I'll tell you how.

1285
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:13,440
The gods can be... Ahem.

1286
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:14,601
Excuse me.

1287
01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:16,922
The gods can be killed!

1288
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:18,201
[WHISTLES]

1289
01:04:18,360 --> 01:04:19,486
[THUMPING]

1290
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,649
- Oh, fucking what the fuck?
- I know. Look at this fucking guy.

1291
01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:27,722
I'm a fucking idiot. I'm dead now.

1292
01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:30,048
I've been on a bad path for years.

1293
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,885
Let me tell you the story
of my stupid fucking death.

1294
01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:34,800
No. No!

1295
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:36,161
No!

1296
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:38,611
[SCREAMS]

1297
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:40,723
Woop. Five-second rule.

1298
01:04:41,240 --> 01:04:42,969
[SCREAMING]

1299
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:45,410
[SCREAMING]

1300
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,409
[DRUGGIE GROANS]

1301
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:51,961
No!

1302
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:55,442
And then they figured out how to drive
my car, snuck into an AC vent...

1303
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:59,650
and that pretty much brings us
up-to-date. Get the fuck away from me.

1304
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:01,529
Frank, I'm sorry.

1305
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:05,810
When you guys fell out of that cart,
I could have done something, but I didn't.

1306
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:08,128
Then I did the same thing as...

1307
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:09,884
They killed Carl.

1308
01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:12,611
Those fuckers. Did he suffer?

1309
01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:15,963
No... Oh, yeah, yeah, he did.
They truly are monsters.

1310
01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:19,926
Those monsters are gonna kill Brenda.
She's somewhere out there in a cart.

1311
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:22,321
I tried to warn everyone,
they didn't believe me!

1312
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:25,683
Of course they didn't. You called
them all a bunch of fucking idiots.

1313
01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:29,561
You can't just slam their beliefs. You
have to show them there's a better way.

1314
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:32,883
You need to inspire them
like you inspired me.

1315
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:35,647
You need to give them hope.

1316
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:38,326
Hope? How the fuck
are we supposed to give them that?
1317
01:05:38,480 --> 01:05:41,927
You got lucky and killed a stupid one.
There's dozens of them down there.

1318
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:45,249
GUM:
Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

1319
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:47,682
[]

1320
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:50,046
Who are you?

1321
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:52,771
I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol...

1322
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:55,844
His name's Gum. Just introduce
yourself as Gum from now on.

1323
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:59,129
He's great. He's gonna help us
get the upper hand on these fuckers.

1324
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:01,248
Show everyone we can fight back.

1325
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:03,571
Oh, shit. Brenda!

1326
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:09,447
- BRENDA: Oh!
- FRANK: Brenda! Brenda!

1327
01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:10,721
Frank!

1328
01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:12,928
Let's move, boys.

1329
01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:17,882
Whew. Kind of stuffy in here, hey, girls?

1330
01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:20,850
So I'm just gonna get out,
get a little air for a second.

1331
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:22,684
- What's your problem?
- Let go of me.

1332
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:27,084
First you smush Sally, and then you try to
fuck up Red, White and Blue Day for us?

1333
01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:29,322
Get your hands off me! I gotta get out!

1334
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:31,403
Just chill out, you crazy bitch!

1335
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:35,007
- HOT DOG: Bun fight! Check it out.
- BRENDA: They're gonna kill us all!

1336
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:40,441
- Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. We need to hurry.
- The bath salts are primed.

1337
01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:42,962
[]

1338
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:49,409
Make it rain.

1339
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:53,125
[ALL GRUNTING]

1340
01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:58,205
What the fuck?

1341
01:06:58,480 --> 01:06:59,641
All right, who did it?

1342
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:02,724
Gary, did you just throw
this fucking toothpick at me, man?

1343
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:06,165
Nothing happened. You said this
would help us defeat them.

1344
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:08,368
Worked on the dude
whose head we chopped off.

1345
01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:09,806
[CHATTERING]

1346
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:11,729
BRENDA: Let go of me! Let go of me!

1347
01:07:11,920 --> 01:07:14,810
FRANK: She's being chosen. We have to act!

1348
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:16,206
[]

1349
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:30,841
Whoa, God. What is happening?

1350
01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:36,522
Oh, my God!

1351
01:07:36,680 --> 01:07:38,170
[SCREAMING]

1352
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:40,368
There is no way this is gonna work.

1353
01:07:40,520 --> 01:07:42,409
Have faith.

1354
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:50,441
[WOMAN SCREAMING]

1355
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:53,369
[IN DISTORTED VOICE] Frank!

1356
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:55,363
[IN DISTORTED VOICE] Brenda!

1357
01:08:00,120 --> 01:08:01,167
[BRENDA SCREAMS]
1358
01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:04,370
[GROANS]

1359
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:06,091
[]

1360
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:08,288
[SCREAMING]

1361
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:12,480
Let go of me! Let go of me!
Oh, God! Oh, God!

1362
01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:16,962
- Stay away from my sausage, you skank!
- Oh!

1363
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:18,161
[ALL GASP]

1364
01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:20,402
[]

1365
01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:22,204
[BOTH SIGH]

1366
01:08:22,600 --> 01:08:23,601
Frank.

1367
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:26,331
Brenda. Look, I'm so sorry.

1368
01:08:26,480 --> 01:08:29,609
I've been dealing with this whole thing
incredibly poorly.

1369
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:32,764
You really have.
Honestly, it's been pathetic at times.

1370
01:08:33,200 --> 01:08:35,885
But luckily, it's not too late. Come on.

1371
01:08:36,040 --> 01:08:38,168
[]
1372
01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:42,202
You see? There is hope!

1373
01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:46,007
Oh, not this guy. No one asked
for an encore, asshole.

1374
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:49,801
No, no, don't worry. I got it this time.
This time it's gonna be good.

1375
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:53,487
Look, I'm sorry.
I wasn't respectful of your beliefs...

1376
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:56,803
and I acted like I had
all the answers, but I don't.

1377
01:08:57,320 --> 01:08:58,810
Nobody knows everything.

1378
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:03,010
But what I do know is that together
we can fight these monsters...

1379
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:05,441
and take control of our own lives.

1380
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:08,683
Yes! Our lives and our bodies!

1381
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:12,567
We need to unite and stop focusing
on each other's differences...

1382
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:16,406
especially in immature and outdated ways.

1383
01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:17,686
We have to cooperate...

1384
01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:20,850
- WOMAN: Die!
- FRANK: Oh, no! Pizza!
1385
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:22,081
[ALL SCREAMING]

1386
01:09:22,480 --> 01:09:26,451
- The food's fucking possessed!
- Oh, shit!

1387
01:09:27,160 --> 01:09:30,130
- We're all gonna die! Oh, God!
- It's devil food!

1388
01:09:32,120 --> 01:09:33,724
Oh, my God!

1389
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:37,243
The sausage, he was right! They're evil!

1390
01:09:37,440 --> 01:09:38,487
[PANTING]

1391
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:40,361
Oh, shit!

1392
01:09:42,360 --> 01:09:43,600
[GRUNTS]

1393
01:09:47,440 --> 01:09:48,965
[ALL GASPING]

1394
01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:50,651
Nobody's gonna help us.

1395
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:52,165
Then this is it.

1396
01:09:53,120 --> 01:09:55,487
At least we go out together.

1397
01:09:55,760 --> 01:09:57,762
[]

1398
01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:03,050
- Aah... Ow! What the...?
- You fuck with them...
1399
01:10:03,200 --> 01:10:05,521
You fuck with us, bitch.

1400
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:08,768
Run, guys! We're out of ladles.

1401
01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:11,002
GUM: Hop on, y'all.

1402
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:20,005
- Can't this thing go any faster?
- Suck my pink cock.

1403
01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:22,003
Come on, you candy asses. Join the fight!

1404
01:10:24,480 --> 01:10:26,403
Hey, what do you think? Should we do it?

1405
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,529
Come on, guys. It's us or them.

1406
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:32,569
[YELLING]

1407
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:35,641
Ow! Aah!

1408
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:44,804
They're doing it.

1409
01:10:47,280 --> 01:10:48,281
Yeah! We got him!

1410
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:50,081
[WHIMPERING]

1411
01:10:50,360 --> 01:10:52,283
- You ready for this?
- I don't know.

1412
01:10:52,440 --> 01:10:56,047
It's better to die a free candy
than to live in bondage.
1413
01:10:57,800 --> 01:11:00,201
This is gonna hurt so fucking much.

1414
01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:03,086
[YELLS]

1415
01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:05,288
[GRUNTING]

1416
01:11:07,560 --> 01:11:09,642
[YELLING]

1417
01:11:13,680 --> 01:11:15,762
FRANK: Run, guys, run!

1418
01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:18,930
Sergeant Pepper, cue the fruits!

1419
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:20,127
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

1420
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:23,603
Fruits are a go. Go, fruits!

1421
01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:25,001
Jitterbug

1422
01:11:25,160 --> 01:11:28,243
No. Get away from me, you fucking fruits!

1423
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:29,765
Yeah, that's it!

1424
01:11:30,400 --> 01:11:32,687
Beat him like a piata!

1425
01:11:32,840 --> 01:11:35,446
<i> You send my soul sky high
When your lovin' starts </i>

1426
01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:37,642
[FOOD CHANTING IN SPANISH]

1427
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:42,847
[WOMAN SCREAMING]

1428
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:44,604
[GROUP SCREAMS]

1429
01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:53,291
FOOD ITEM: Get the Dark Lord!

1430
01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:55,761
DARREN: Why do you keep calling me that?

1431
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:58,571
Fuck. Come on. Come on.

1432
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:00,406
DOUCHE: Okay.

1433
01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:03,484
Not exactly what I was looking for,
but fuck it, you know.

1434
01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:05,802
Hole's a hole, bro. Ha-ha-ha.

1435
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:07,001
[GRUNTS]

1436
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:09,444
Wait, snap out of it, man.

1437
01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:11,204
Slap yourself in the face, man.

1438
01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:14,921
Oh, man, you lost your mind. No way.
This isn't real. No, this can't be real.

1439
01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:17,003
- DOUCHE: Oh, it's real, bro.
- What?

1440
01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:20,284
Ahh. A talking douche.

1441
01:12:20,480 --> 01:12:22,164
It's cool, bro. Chill, okay?

1442
01:12:22,320 --> 01:12:25,051
No, no! This is too much.
This is too much. Breathe, man.

1443
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:26,964
We both want the same thing.

1444
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:30,806
Like, I'm feeling like honestly the two
of us could, like, collaborate together.

1445
01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:32,325
Like a mash-up, bro.

1446
01:12:32,480 --> 01:12:35,370
A mash-up? I don't understand.
What's happening?

1447
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:36,851
You don't need to understand.

1448
01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:40,647
You just need to relax and open wide.

1449
01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:42,040
Wait. What are you doing?

1450
01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:45,365
- Oh, yeah.
- Dude! That went up my ass!

1451
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:47,005
[LAUGHING]

1452
01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:49,208
- Now, stand up.
- Ow!

1453
01:12:49,400 --> 01:12:51,129
[SCREAMS]

1454
01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:53,006
Turn right.
1455
01:12:54,480 --> 01:12:57,290
Left. Ha-ha-ha!

1456
01:12:57,440 --> 01:12:59,124
Yeah!

1457
01:12:59,280 --> 01:13:01,009
[ALL SCREAMING]

1458
01:13:04,800 --> 01:13:07,246
Sausages and buns, let's party!

1459
01:13:07,480 --> 01:13:08,720
[ALL YELLING]

1460
01:13:08,880 --> 01:13:10,405
Yee-ha!

1461
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,086
Hyah! Hyah!

1462
01:13:17,680 --> 01:13:20,490
Ah! Call 911! Ow! Aah!

1463
01:13:20,640 --> 01:13:22,768
Huge mistake, bros.

1464
01:13:22,960 --> 01:13:24,769
Aah! Wha...?

1465
01:13:24,960 --> 01:13:27,122
Oh, no. Oh!

1466
01:13:27,600 --> 01:13:29,682
- Brenda!
- Ha-ha-ha.

1467
01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:32,531
Ow! Aah!

1468
01:13:32,720 --> 01:13:34,245
Frank!

1469
01:13:34,600 --> 01:13:35,931
[BOTH GRUNT]

1470
01:13:36,080 --> 01:13:37,206
- Barry!
- BARRY: Aah!

1471
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:39,169
[]

1472
01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:40,685
[SCREAMS]

1473
01:13:40,880 --> 01:13:42,166
[PANTING]

1474
01:13:48,560 --> 01:13:50,767
Oh, so now you're gonna come at me, bro?

1475
01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:53,241
Oh, I'm coming at you. Yaah! Oh!

1476
01:13:53,440 --> 01:13:55,727
[GRUNTING]

1477
01:13:55,880 --> 01:13:59,646
Okay, we got him, easy now. Easy now.

1478
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:03,088
It's hard when your head's up my ass
and you're yanking on the scrot.

1479
01:14:03,240 --> 01:14:06,449
Look, sausage, I relish the fact...

1480
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:10,571
that you mustard the strength
to ketchup to me.

1481
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:12,689
Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths.

1482
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:14,120
[ALL WHIMPERING]

1483
01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:19,889
Ha-ha-ha. I sucked a juicy box's dick,
and I'm shoved up a god's asshole.

1484
01:14:20,040 --> 01:14:23,965
And this is the weirdest thing
that I've done so far, bro.

1485
01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:25,167
[SNARLS]

1486
01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:27,124
- Aah!
- Oh, my God! Frank!

1487
01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:28,850
I'll tell you who eats shit:

1488
01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:30,764
Gods do, bro.

1489
01:14:30,920 --> 01:14:33,366
I'm a fucking god!

1490
01:14:33,520 --> 01:14:36,046
- Goodbye, little sausage.
- Aah!

1491
01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:37,241
Oh, Frank.

1492
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:39,881
Hey, bun. Need a boost?

1493
01:14:40,040 --> 01:14:41,485
Help me!

1494
01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:44,325
GUM:
Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

1495
01:14:44,480 --> 01:14:45,606
[]

1496
01:14:50,440 --> 01:14:53,569
Matter cannot be created or destroyed,
human.

1497
01:14:53,720 --> 01:14:55,848
You have made a fatal error in judgment.

1498
01:14:56,200 --> 01:14:57,770
Let me educate you.

1499
01:15:03,760 --> 01:15:05,091
[BOTH YELL]

1500
01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:09,121
Fuck!

1501
01:15:10,120 --> 01:15:11,406
[SCREAMING]

1502
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:20,567
[YELLS]

1503
01:15:20,720 --> 01:15:23,007
What's happening out there?

1504
01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:25,165
Now!

1505
01:15:25,360 --> 01:15:27,283
[ALL GRUNTING]

1506
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:28,965
COCONUT MILK: So long, asshole!

1507
01:15:33,360 --> 01:15:34,691
[YELLING]

1508
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:38,881
[FIREWORKS WHISTLING THEN POPPING]

1509
01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:40,041
[]

1510
01:15:40,200 --> 01:15:41,804
[ALL CHEERING]

1511
01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:45,329
Yeah!

1512
01:15:45,480 --> 01:15:48,370
It's over. We won.

1513
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:50,881
We fucking won! Ha-ha-ha!

1514
01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:53,363
Yes!

1515
01:15:53,960 --> 01:15:56,804
[ALL CHEERING]

1516
01:15:57,000 --> 01:15:58,968
Yeah!

1517
01:15:59,520 --> 01:16:01,249
Ew.

1518
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:03,404
[ROARS]

1519
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:07,045
- FRANK: We did it.
- BRENDA: We did. So...

1520
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:09,680
- So, what do we do now?
- Whatever we want. Heh.

1521
01:16:09,840 --> 01:16:12,923
What do you want?

1522
01:16:13,080 --> 01:16:16,402
Let's just say, what I want involves
much more than:

1523
01:16:16,560 --> 01:16:18,483
Just the tips

1524
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:20,251
Just the tips

1525
01:16:20,480 --> 01:16:26,010
What I want is much more than just
The tips

1526
01:16:26,720 --> 01:16:28,324
[]

1527
01:16:29,280 --> 01:16:31,647
With these

1528
01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:34,485
Hungry eyes

1529
01:16:34,640 --> 01:16:36,130
[BRENDA MOANING]

1530
01:16:36,320 --> 01:16:37,560
One look at you

1531
01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:39,290
And I can't disguise

1532
01:16:39,440 --> 01:16:40,441
I've got

1533
01:16:40,640 --> 01:16:42,642
Oh! Oh, Frank!

1534
01:16:42,800 --> 01:16:46,805
You know, I'm very conflicted about
how I'm supposed to feel watching this.

1535
01:16:46,960 --> 01:16:49,008
Then don't just watch.

1536
01:16:49,160 --> 01:16:50,810
Wait a second. What are you doing?

1537
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:52,161
I was just told...

1538
01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:56,450
that I am getting zero bottles
of extra-virgin olive oil for eternity.

1539
01:16:56,600 --> 01:17:00,161
- BRENDA: Oh, Frank!
- So, maybe, you know...

1540
01:17:00,320 --> 01:17:02,800
Kiss me hard on the mouth, why don't you?

1541
01:17:02,960 --> 01:17:05,964
You wanna kiss me, motherfucker?
Let me tell you a little secret.

1542
01:17:06,120 --> 01:17:08,646
I'm going to fuck the fuck out of you.

1543
01:17:08,840 --> 01:17:10,410
[BRENDA MOANING]

1544
01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:13,086
Kiss it, Frank. Kiss me there!

1545
01:17:13,280 --> 01:17:15,567
[BOTH MOAN]

1546
01:17:15,720 --> 01:17:18,769
Oh, yeah, Frank, that's it.
Oh, yeah, it's dinnertime.

1547
01:17:18,920 --> 01:17:22,129
FRANK: Yo. I'm actually over here
jerking off with these fellas.

1548
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:30,205
- Once you go taco, you never go "back-o."
- Oh!

1549
01:17:30,400 --> 01:17:32,607
[BRENDA MOANING]

1550
01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:33,761
Jesus fucking Christ!

1551
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:35,962
Hey, fellas.
You thinking what I'm thinking?

1552
01:17:36,120 --> 01:17:38,851
Pretty fucking sure I am.

1553
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:40,968
Oh, shit. Now it's on.

1554
01:17:41,120 --> 01:17:43,202
Just as bad as I do

1555
01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:44,600
Yeah!

1556
01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:46,763
[GRUNTING AND MOANING]

1557
01:17:49,680 --> 01:17:51,170
[GRUNTING]

1558
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:56,680
- Oh!
- Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I get by?

1559
01:17:56,840 --> 01:17:58,842
[]

1560
01:17:59,040 --> 01:18:01,042
[FOOD ITEMS MOANING]

1561
01:18:02,080 --> 01:18:03,764
Oh, wow.

1562
01:18:04,800 --> 01:18:07,531
Yeah, I just came over here.
I couldn't help but notice...

1563
01:18:07,680 --> 01:18:11,082
you're a little smushed or something.
You have a kind of abnormality.

1564
01:18:11,240 --> 01:18:14,289
- Did you get...? Somebody sit on you?
- Yeah.

1565
01:18:14,440 --> 01:18:16,568
I got smushed.

1566
01:18:16,720 --> 01:18:20,725
You know, I love the way your face
just kind of gives up halfway down.

1567
01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:22,201
GRITS: Yeah, cracker!

1568
01:18:22,360 --> 01:18:26,445
Take that Grit dick, bitch!
You like Grits in your ass, cracker?

1569
01:18:26,720 --> 01:18:30,247
GUM: Say my name!
It's Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol...

1570
01:18:30,400 --> 01:18:32,448
[MOANING]

1571
01:18:33,920 --> 01:18:35,081
I can't breathe! Stop it!

1572
01:18:38,480 --> 01:18:39,925
[TRUMPETING]

1573
01:18:41,080 --> 01:18:43,526
What's the safety word?
Molasses. Molasses.

1574
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:45,529
Oh, yeah. Fuck you!

1575
01:18:47,040 --> 01:18:48,849
[GRUNTING]

1576
01:18:49,280 --> 01:18:51,362
Yeah. That is all right.

1577
01:18:51,880 --> 01:18:54,724
Want me to be a Hamburglar?
Robble, robble. Robble, robble.

1578
01:18:54,920 --> 01:18:57,002
BARRY: I'm filling you. I'm filling you.

1579
01:18:57,160 --> 01:19:00,926
- I'm blowing my fucking load. Good God.
- Oh.

1580
01:19:01,080 --> 01:19:02,491
- Aah!
- Oh!

1581
01:19:02,640 --> 01:19:03,971
Oh, fuck!

1582
01:19:04,560 --> 01:19:06,881
[ALL MOANING AND GRUNTING]

1583
01:19:07,880 --> 01:19:11,202
- SAMMY: Oy vey!
- LAVASH: My dick is drained.

1584
01:19:12,760 --> 01:19:14,000
[]

1585
01:19:14,160 --> 01:19:15,241
FRANK: That was amazing.

1586
01:19:15,680 --> 01:19:18,001
It was okay. But you were amazing.

1587
01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:21,482
I can't believe we were saving ourselves
for the Great Beyond when...

1588
01:19:21,640 --> 01:19:25,167
- It was in front of us the whole time.
- It was in front of us the whole time.

1589
01:19:25,360 --> 01:19:26,361
I love you, Brenda.

1590
01:19:26,520 --> 01:19:27,601
I love you, Frank.

1591
01:19:27,760 --> 01:19:30,286
You know, my boner still hasn't
gone down. Is that bad?

1592
01:19:30,440 --> 01:19:33,284
Bad for my asshole,
I'll tell you that much.
1593
01:19:33,440 --> 01:19:34,521
[BOTH LAUGHING]

1594
01:19:34,680 --> 01:19:37,763
Seriously, though,
your recovery time is off the charts.

1595
01:19:37,960 --> 01:19:40,361
Guys! Oh, my God.
You have to come with me right now.

1596
01:19:45,400 --> 01:19:47,004
Hello there, little sausage.

1597
01:19:47,160 --> 01:19:49,731
You and your friends
have accomplished the impossible.

1598
01:19:49,880 --> 01:19:53,168
And for that, I give you mad props.

1599
01:19:53,760 --> 01:19:58,971
But now that you have shattered
one truth, it is time for you to learn...

1600
01:19:59,120 --> 01:20:04,763
that we are not real! Booga booga booga.

1601
01:20:05,520 --> 01:20:07,568
GUM:
While tripping balls, Firewater and I...

1602
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:10,291
made an important
metaphysical breakthrough.

1603
01:20:10,440 --> 01:20:12,602
The world is a fucking illusion, bro.

1604
01:20:12,760 --> 01:20:16,082
Our lives are being manipulated
for the entertainment of monsters.

1605
01:20:16,240 --> 01:20:22,122
Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters!
Puppet masters in another dimension.

1606
01:20:22,280 --> 01:20:24,282
We're something called...

1607
01:20:24,440 --> 01:20:25,851
cartoons.

1608
01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:27,206
- BRENDA: Oh!
- FRANK: Wha...?

1609
01:20:27,360 --> 01:20:31,410
You, Frank, are the plaything of a
demented, schlubby Jewish actor named:

1610
01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:33,881
Seth Rog-An.

1611
01:20:34,200 --> 01:20:35,406
Wait? I'm Jewish?

1612
01:20:35,600 --> 01:20:37,250
So who am I?

1613
01:20:37,400 --> 01:20:42,008
You are the toy of a more talented
and celebrated actor named:

1614
01:20:42,160 --> 01:20:44,845
Ed-ward Nor-ton.

1615
01:20:45,240 --> 01:20:47,447
Ed-ward Nor-ton?

1616
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:51,400
What kind of parent gives their kid
a stupid cunt name like that?

1617
01:20:51,560 --> 01:20:54,404
Worry not, friends. I have a solution.

1618
01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:05,122
I have invented a Stargate device that
will allow us to travel to their dimension.
1619
01:21:05,640 --> 01:21:07,244
Fuck, yeah, he did. And it's dope.

1620
01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:10,927
This guy's smart. I mean like,
fuck-a-guy smart. Know what I'm saying?

1621
01:21:11,520 --> 01:21:13,045
Yeah, you do.

1622
01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:15,043
We're gonna go to this other dimension...

1623
01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:17,567
and cut the strings, once and for all!

1624
01:21:17,880 --> 01:21:19,609
Anybody want a hit before we do this?

1625
01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:22,850
You ready to get baked and walk
through Gum's Stargate with me?

1626
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:27,289
As long as we're together,
I'm ready to get baked and do anything.

1627
01:21:27,520 --> 01:21:29,010
[]

1628
01:21:32,440 --> 01:21:35,011
[TOOTING]

1629
01:21:36,680 --> 01:21:38,728
[TOOTING]

1630
01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:50,442
[WHIRRING]

1631
01:21:58,720 --> 01:21:59,767
[]

1632
01:25:30,160 --> 01:25:32,162
[TM]
1633
01:27:29,640 --> 01:27:31,642
[TM]

1634
01:28:06,360 --> 01:28:08,362
[TM]

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