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 CONTENTS
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TITLE PAGE
BOOK DESCRIPTION

CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

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 BOOK DESCRIPTION
Noah Stafford wants me. All of me.

Sleek and formidable, Chicago is an empire, controlled by the men and women who rule from the upper
floors. Beneath grey skies, theres an order to the city, but when office hours are over, a scorching heat
pulses within its walls that has nothing to do with the sun.

An adventurous and quirky graduate from Milwaukee, Im unexpectedly offered a job interview at
Stafford Scientific after a sabbatical in the jungle steals my heart. I never expected to meet Noah Stafford,
the billionaire founder. Dressed in a sharp designer suit that flaunts his ripped muscles, Noah draws me to
him with a power Im unable to control. But theres a problem.

With his sandy blond hair and impossibly bright green eyes, Noah has a face I can love because I
already have. Ive fallen for his twin brother, Corey, a rebel who lives on the edge. Torn between the two,
I must decide to follow one brothers rules, or run wild with the other.

When Im looking into the same face, the same eyes same heart how can I choose?

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 CHAPTER ONE

Thailand

Such power, I breathed, watching as an elephant pushed aside a heavy boulder with its trunk,
employing a strength I didnt know it possessed.
Sweat dripped down my back in the sweltering heat, soaking my navy-blue tank top. Though the
inferno of the jungle made it almost impossible to move, it was a day to explore, to run wild. My only
restraint was the ponytail holder that held the long waves of my chestnut hair back, exposing the flesh of
my shoulders, tanned by the blazing sun.
I was in Thailand, backpacking my way through the inheritance my grandma left me. It had been her
dream to travel, not mine. But she had raised me, so I wanted to honor everything she would have done
with the money had she not been confined to a wheelchair the last years of her life. As much as I loved my
grandma, Id rather be home, in the cold of Milwaukee, putting my Masters in Environmental Science to
use, preferably at one of the breweries along the lake, ensuring the fish didnt become as inebriated as the
overexcited brew hoppers.
I hope you can receive postcards in heaven, Grams, I thought.
Traveling may have been in her honor, but I was enjoying myself, especially now. Somewhere
between Bangkok and Chiang Mai, Id joined a group of trekkers in search of a herd of migrating
elephants. Wed found them, but we kept our distance, observing the playful beasts from the safety of the
lush trails.
Do you admire power, Imogen? a man asked, his voice as deep and rugged as the valley we
wandered.
I admire elephants, I said, refusing to face my companion, keeping my focus on the herd in the
distance.
It would appear so, he said, fingering the tiny plush elephant Id tied to the strap of my rucksack, a
cute trinket I picked up outside Bangkok.
It was him, Corey, the criminally hot recluse who had joined our party a few miles back. With the
legion of tattoos that ran across his strong arms and ripped chest, I was convinced he was an actual
criminal. Beneath his sandy blond hair, his eyes were bright green, a fusion of the jungle around us and the
sun above, but they were reckless, full of sins he would never confess.
Hed stuck close to me since emerging from the bushes to greet us. I was nervous around him, nervous
about the mystery that surrounded his sudden arrival, and nervous about the way my body woke when he
was near. It didnt help that he was shirtless, his tattoos exposed for all to see. Being on vacation ignited
me, made everything more tempting. The sun. The fruit. Corey.
I swallowed. With him near, the day had gotten impossibly hotter, but I didnt trust him. And how do
you feel about elephants, Corey?
 Theyre beautiful creatures. I appreciate beautiful creatures. He kept his gaze steady on me,
studying me with his bright green recklessness.
I didnt let it sway me. Beautiful enough to kill? I asked, unable to hide my suspicion.
No, he claimed, unfazed. He wasnt the type of man to be taken aback by accusations. He was his
own pack, fearless and unrestrained. He didnt play by anyones rules. He wasnt easily admonished.
Im not a poacher.
I wasnt convinced. So you just happened to find us in the jungle?
He smiled, as if we were playing a game of wits. You werent exactly exploring new territory. You
were following a well-marked path.
Exactly. We were on the trail, but you werent. You came from the bushes. What were you looking for
out there? I demanded, irritated by his nonchalance. I didnt consider myself a confrontational person,
but when it came to protecting the elephants, I could rip the horns off the devil.
Maybe I was looking for you, he teased. A goddess. Phra Mae Torani, the lovely one who drowns
demons with her detachment.
Dont flatter me, I snapped. Tell me the truth.
Or what?
I lowered my voice. Or Ill tell everyone here about the gun you slipped into my rucksack when I set
it down to rest.
Corey remained undeterred. If anything, he seemed to be impressed. So youve got brains behind
those hazel eyes.
It doesnt take brains. I saw you. You were quick, but you werent discreet. Tell me why youre here.
What is the gun for? Do you plan to hunt the elephants for their ivory?
They were brave words to speak to a tattooed maverick with a deadly weapon, especially one as
sinfully gorgeous as Corey, except that now I was the one with the gun. He had given his power to me, and
that power was safely stored in my rucksack.
Amongst Asian elephants, only the males have tusks.
My stomach sank. So youre going to hurt them.
With a handgun? he challenged, his smile as fierce as ever. He was winning the game of wits.
Then why hide it? I pressed, my voice rising with the rate of my heart.
A middle-aged couple nearby heard. They glanced at us, curious.
Friendly fire, Corey said to them and took my arm, guiding me out of earshot from the rest of the
group, behind the shelter of a palm tree. Im not a poacher, he insisted, his body close to mine. The
bulge of his arm pressed against my shoulder as I inhaled the raw male scent of sweat on his skin. I have
the gun to protect the herd, not to hurt it.
Against what?
Actual poachers. A handgun doesnt frighten an elephant, but it sure scares the hell out of a man.
My suspicions disappeared, but my questions didnt. Are you some sort of jungle police?
He laughed. It was a careless sound that dragged me in, took me captive. No. Im self-employed, so
to speak.
A vigilante?
Of sorts. Asian elephants are endangered, the males hunted for their tusks, something I obviously
dont have to tell you. With the decreasing population, the males are becoming harder for poachers to
find. Males dont usually travel in herds. They travel alone and can be difficult to track.
How do you know all this?
He lifted a shoulder. I came to Thailand months ago to assist with conservation efforts. I was
working on a reserve up until a few weeks ago. There were several herds there, many with young.
I squinted up at him, trying to understand. I thought you said the males travel alone. If you want to
protect the males, why were you with the herds?
His eyes grew hard and a muscle popped in his jaw. The young males. In the middle of the night, a
group of fucking poachers stole all the bulls from their mommas. Its the new way. Steal the males while
theyre little and raise them for their ivory.
Thats sickening, I said, disturbed to hear it.
It is. I didnt flinch as he lifted a hand and pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. I searched
for the missing bulls. I couldnt find them, but I did come across this herd here, and Ive been following it
ever since, making sure its guarded.
I was struck by his sincerity, the truth of his love for the animals in his eyes. He leaned closer, and my
stomach twisted as his thumb traced my lower lip. I pulled away, just an inch, and his hand fell to grip my
upper arm.
Youre like the Batman of the jungle, I managed to say after a hard swallow.
He laughed again. Batman didnt carry a gun, not in the old comics.
I like the old comics, I said, dazed, even more aware of how close Corey was to me. If I leaned
forward slightly, his lips would be on mine. I could taste him, and he could taste me.
Sensing my arousal, he ran his hand slowly down my neck and over my shoulder, his callused palm a
stark contrast to the softness of my skin. My breath burst out as he reached behind me and pulled my
rucksack loose, reclaiming his power.
Ill need this back, he said, taking the gun from the front pocket. Now that I know your group is no
threat to the herd, I can go back into hiding.
Why did you put it there in the first place? I mumbled, irritated that Id fallen for his deceitful
charm.
I couldnt walk around with a gun sticking out of the belt of my shorts, could I?
Why not? It would save everyone the confusion.
He flashed his perfect smile at me one last time before heading towards the brush, ready to disappear
from where he came. Dont look so sad, he called behind him. Ill see you again.
What makes you so certain? I asked, regaining my composure.
Because Ill find you, Imogen Clare. Youre too beautiful to wander the jungle alone. He turned to
face me fully. Ill protect the herd, and when its within safe borders, Ill protect you.

***

So youve got brains behind those hazel eyes.

I did have brains, and not because of my masters degree. My real brains came from my grandma. She
possessed an intuition that guided her through life, a natural intelligence that made her formidable. Shed
given me her strength. It lived on within me. I had to remember that if I was ever around Corey again.
 I doubted I would be. Corey had been a fever that caused my blood to ache, but I was far from the
jungle now. Sipping a lemongrass mojito beneath the grass roof of an outdoor bar, I gazed out onto the
shore where a full moon hung over the sea, pulling the day away and pulling me with it.
Id be leaving Thailand soon to return to Milwaukee. It was a bittersweet ending to my trip. Amongst
the lush valleys and tropical coasts, Id felt close to my grandma here, as if she were traveling with me,
sharing the adventure. When I left, itd be my final goodbye to her, the woman whod raised me.
I didnt know my mother. When I was an infant, shed left me on my grandmas doorstep and ran.
Neither of us had seen her since, but I didnt care. I was glad my grandma had been my guardian. Wed
had a lot of fun together. She was a real gambler. Every Friday night, shed bring home a pizza and a
fistful of scratch tickets. With a slice of pepperoni in her hand and the TV sputtering in the background,
wed run pennies against the silver on the tickets, celebrating the smallest win with an excited cheer.
Those scratch tickets had paid for my trip to Thailand. They had probably paid for my entire education.
I sipped my mojito, enjoying the fresh basil within it, and I vowed to buy a bundle of scratch tickets
when I got home.
You look so sad, a man said, coming up behind me. My heart raced in anticipation as I turned in my
seat, certain it was Corey, but it was the bartender, a round but friendly guy from Canada.
Im not sad, I told him. Just reminiscing.
Ill get you another, he said, taking my glass. On the house, for whoever youre reminiscing about.
Maybe I shouldnt go home. Maybe I should stay right here, in this quiet little corner of Thailand,
where bartenders are friendly, and the ocean is musical.
There was really nothing to return home to. All my family was gone. My friends were buried in their
work. Id been able to travel because I was unemployed. Since graduating, Id failed to land a job.
Grams was right, I murmured, the whimsy of three lemongrass mojitos kicking in. I should have
become a truck driver. People always want pineapples delivered. They dont want an environmentalist
telling them what theyre doing wrong.
Youre an environmentalist? Corey asked, taking the seat next to me.
I squinted at him and hiccupped. Are you a hallucination?
Nope, he said cheerfully. Im real.
Needing proof, I reached out and grabbed his arm, feeling his strength. It wasnt enough. Take your
shirt off, I ordered. I want to see your tattoos. Corey has tattoos.
Without hesitation, he stood and lifted his T-shirt over his head, then turned in a slow circle. His
tattoos were as I remembered them, but there was a patch of gauze over his lower back, near where his
rock hard muscles glided into his jeans.
Whats that? I asked.
I got new ink. A Hindu elephant.
But Thai people are Buddhists.
He grinned. Not all of them.
I hiccupped again. Does that mean the herd is safe?
As safe as they can be, he assured me.
Good, I praised, beaming up at him.
The bartender returned with my mojito and placed it on the bar. Ill take that, Corey said, grabbing
it for himself. Youve had enough.
Ive only had three, I protested, reaching for my drink.
Three will do. He addressed the bartender. A sparkling passion fruit to sober her up. Hold the
liquor.
Add the liquor! I amended sprightly, throwing my hands in the air. All of it!
Ill come back later, the bartender resolved and left.
Hes not coming back, I muttered.
Corey laughed. No, hes not. Shame. You would have liked the passion fruit.
I peeked up at him. How do you know that?
Because the day I met you, I could smell the passion on your breath, and I wanted to taste it too.
The passion fruit, I corrected, but Corey only smiled in response.
I sat back in my seat, relaxing into my buzz. You know, you try to be intimidating with your skulls and
fangs tattooed all over you, but I saw how concerned you were for those baby elephants. You loooove
baby elephants. You wish you could bring them and their whole herd home.
He downed the mojito and slammed the glass on the table. Chicago isnt big enough to hold
everything I love. I need the world.
Youre from Chicago? I asked, surprised. Were neighbors!
Let me guess. Youre a cheesehead, overly polite and impossibly friendly.
I tapped my head. Theres no cheese up here. Im from Milwaukee.
He leaned in close. I tried not to wither beneath his green eyes. I remained strong, like my grandma
taught me.
What does an environmentalist do in Milwaukee? he asked.
Nothing as of now, I admitted. There isnt much work going around. At least none that I can find.
Why did you become an environmentalist?
Because I cant drive a truck, I joked, but Corey remained quietly intense, waiting for me to tell him
more. I sighed and went for it. Because I want to do good with my life. I want to help make things
better.
I see. He brushed my hair back, my waves loose and free, and his hand fell to my shoulder. It was
heavy, grounding me. Ill give your name to Stafford Scientific in Chicago. Youll have a job soon.
I rolled the name over in my mind. Isnt that a technological firm? Why would they want?
Theyll want you, he said, squeezing my shoulder, telling me to trust him.
I fell into a momentary silence, the last of the mojitos warming my cheeks. Then I was hit by a thought
that returned me to my giddiness. Hey, you found me, I said, happy.
Of course I did, Corey declared. You were easy to find. Im a dragon, Imogen, and you are my
gold.

***

The market was crowded, full of people pushing their way to the umbrella-covered stalls that lined the
canals, haggling for their ginger and milk. In the water below, long rectangular boats drifted in the gentle
current, baskets full of colorful spices and exotic fruits resting at the feet of those who used staffs to steer,
their heads protected from the penetrating sun by woven hats. The day was new, the morning fresh, but the
city was alive, a harsh contrast from the peace of the coast.
I searched for Corey. After seeing me safely to my hotel room last night, hed written a note on the
back of my hand that instructed me to meet him here, and hed left me to sleep off the mojitos, a gentleman
despite his hard edges.
I wished he hadnt been a gentleman. On the walk across the beach to my hotel, I wanted to be
seduced, to feel the sand on my back as he entered me, filling me with his goodness
Watch it! a woman scowled, pushing past me in the crowd, her almond eyes painted with thick liner.
She looked like shed just left a club. The night owls and the morning jays were united in the early day.
I stopped next to a stall selling embroidered handbags, and turned my back to the sun, checking the
note written on my hand. I was supposed to wait for Corey at the end of the market, beside the column
painted neon blue. I was approaching the last of the stalls, but I saw no column, only umbrellas and tables,
none of which were painted. Figuring he was mistaken about the column, I went to a nearby alley and
waited there, still within reach of the market. The alley was shaded, and it provided refuge from the
burning sun and intolerant crowd.
I didnt know what Corey had planned. Hed scrawled swimwear on my thumb, so I wore a coral
bikini covered by a light skirt that flowed down to my ankles and a loosely knitted top that showed off my
midriff. Id left my rucksack in my hotel room. It wasnt the type of day to be prepared. It was the kind of
day to let a hot renegade tell me what to do and where to go.
A gang of men passed through the alley, their faces hard and menacing. One glanced my way, but he
said nothing, moving on with his friends. I wasnt frightened, I was only a few feet from the crowd in the
market, in plain view, but my patience began to wane. If Corey didnt show up soon, Id go back to my
hotel room and wait for him there. He knew where it was.
Hello again, pretty one.
I jumped and whirled around. The gang had returned. I hadnt heard them backtrack down the alley.
They looked at me the way sharks hunted for flesh. The change in their eyes was terrifying.
Not interested, I said, looking down, avoiding the threat. I hoped they would leave if they had
nothing to chase, but I was wrong.
But we are, one of them said with a thick accent, the taller of the group, the leader. Were very
interested.
Knowing there was nothing I could say to protect myself, I stepped away from the alley, closer to the
crowd, but the gang quickly moved around me, shepherding me far from anyone who could help. I tried to
scream, but a hand was placed over my mouth, stifling me.
None of that, the leader warned, his voice like Satans hiss. Dont make it worse for yourself.
I nodded, and the hand that silenced me slid down to my throat, giving me air to breathe while
reminding me how easily he could break my neck. Here, take my money, I beseeched, reaching into the
pocket of my skirt and throwing what bills I had at them.
A pudgy man scrambled to the ground to pick up my bribe, but the others were motionless.
We want more than money, the leader said, his eyes flicking to my mouth, then lower. Come with
us. Well show you just how much fun the city can be. Youll enjoy it.
Not interested, I said again, but my voice shook. I was scared. I didnt know how to be strong, not
in a situation like this.
 Were not asking.
I looked over the heads of the men, towards the crowd on the street, my safety. The street wasnt far. I
had to fight my way back towards it, no matter the cost, but before I could try, the leader grabbed my arm,
and his hand slammed over my mouth and nose. I couldnt breathe let alone scream as I was hauled down
the alley, farther away from the market, towards a danger I could not endure.
Please, I pleaded as soon as he released my mouth, taking great gulps of air and struggling against
his grasp. I have more money. Ill give it all to you. Just let me go back to my hotel. Please dont do
this.
He sneered. Yes. Please. We like it when you beg.
I didnt know what to do. My fear overwhelmed me, blinded me, made me irrational. All I could think
about was how the poachers had stolen the baby elephants, guided them away from everything familiar
and safe.
In my hysteria, I didnt hear the hum of the motorbike as it raced through the alley, not until it was in
front of us.
Let her go, Corey said, drawing his gun.
The leader tensed, but he continued to hold my arm tight. You pay us for her, he bargained.
With a dry calm, Corey released the safety on the barrel. The click echoed down the alley, a warning.
Let her go.
Fine, the leader said, pushing me towards the motorbike so the gang could run. But if I see you
again, youre a dead man! he shouted, spitting on the ground.
Get on, Corey told me. Ive got to get you out of here.
Silently obeying, I sat behind him on the bike, my arms wrapping around his waist like a life
preserver. The seat was small, I could barely fit, but I didnt care about comfort. I just wanted to get
away.
We sped out of the alley and through the city towards the mountains. I shook as Corey drove, shocked
by what happened, but somewhere past the commotion and the traffic, well within the verdant hilltops, my
fear seeped away, and I found solace as I held onto the man in front of me. He was my safety. As
promised, he had protected me from the poachers.
He turned off the main road onto a dirt path. Beneath the palm trees and the cry of the monkeys, we
went up an incline, roaring through the jungle until the path met a wooden barrier. There, Corey parked the
bike and helped me off. The earth was soft beneath my feet, much more wholesome than the city streets.
You okay? he asked, inspecting me, full of concern.
I will be. Thank you.
Dont thank me, he said, irritated. It was my fault you were in trouble. I shouldnt have let you
wander the market alone. I should have met you at your hotel room.
Im not a child, I argued for his benefit. I should have known better than to wait in an alley. When I
didnt see the blue column, I should have stood near the stalls.
He pushed my hair back from my face. There was no blue column, not anymore. They must have torn
it down.
But you found me anyway, I said, grateful. Im beginning to think you have some sort of
superpower.
Its your magnetism, he countered, pulling me close. You draw me in.
 He was pressed against me, his skin touching mine. I could feel his heart, and his need. It grew against
my thigh, large and stiff. His breath smelled of passion. I leaned forward to taste it, to forget everything
that happened earlier, but Corey stepped back.
Youve had a rough morning, he said, clearly struggling against his integrity and his desire. I hope
what Im about to show you can make it a little more pleasant.
Only if what youre about to show me is your naked body.
I didnt need his chivalry. I needed his touch. He wouldnt be taking advantage of me. Id wanted him
since the moment I first saw him.
Id never been very direct when it came to men. I wasnt bashful, but I was cautious. Being around
Corey was different. I had no guard. I was sand running through his fingers, but I couldnt tell him, as
much as I wanted to. I had to maintain some dignity, so I followed him into the jungle, trusting him with
my life but not my yearnings, not yet, not until the moment was right for both of us.
Were you born in Chicago? I asked him as we walked. Corey kept a steady pace beside me, refusing
to let me out of his sight.
Born and raised.
But you werent happy there.
He laughed. Why would you say that?
Because you need the world, I said, quoting what he told me at the bar.
You remember that?
I looked down at my shoes. Its a little hazy.
Youre right. I wasnt happy in Chicago. My life there was restricted. People were constantly
watching over my shoulder. It was fucking intolerable. So I left.
To be the Batman of the jungle.
And the desert. And the artic. Ive been all over.
But youre so young, I pointed out. He was only a few years older than me. What are you, twenty-
eight?
Close enough.
How do you afford it?
I cant, he confided, but he said no more.
I probably didnt want to know. Corey was lawless. Who knew how a man with his bravery and
strength earned his passage. He could be a hired gun. Or a courier for international mobsters. He hadnt
volunteered his last name, and there was probably a reason for it.
Will you ever go home? I asked, hopeful.
I might, he said, smiling, his eyes growing soft. If theres something at home waiting for me.
It wasnt a promise, but it made me soar, destroying all the bad of the morning.
Im glad I met you, I said, nudging his shoulder.
Im glad you met me too.
We hiked until we came to the ruins of a temple. Amid fallen stones browned with age sat a Buddha
statue twice our height. He wore a pointed crown over his serene smile, and his arms draped neatly over
his folded legs. I pictured my grandma sitting beside him in the same position, and a wedge of my grief
healed.
This is the kind of peace I hope to find in my own life, I said, speaking frankly, running my hand
across the Buddhas foot. A peace thats settled and calm.
Thats what you say, but Ive seen your hair loose, and your soul set free, Corey said, his deep
voice dropping even lower, full of an unmistakable longing. Youre as wild as this jungle. Youre as
wild as me.
Well see, I said simply, but unable to agree. Thank you for bringing me here. I feel better.
His eyes sparkled. Were not here yet. Follow me.
We continued up the path. I couldnt imagine anywhere more impressive than the temple, but when we
stopped once more, my breath was taken from me.
In front of us, a herd of elephants bathed in a shallow lake that was fed by a crystal clear waterfall.
Green flora cascaded down from the rocky incline, their undergrowth weeping. One of the elephants held
its trunk up into the pouring water, drinking it in and spraying it back out.
Theyre magnificent, I said. Are they safe?
They are. Were on a reserve. Armed guards patrol the land.
This is wonderful. I took an eager step forward, but Corey held me back. Slowly. We dont want to
startle them. Theyre used to people, but theyre still protective of their young.
After I stripped down to my bikini, we took small steps into the lake, wading up to our hips. I fell to
my knees, immersing myself in the water, enjoying its caress. When I resurfaced, I was renewed, full of a
hot energy I couldnt ignore. The elephants werent far, but I didnt want to disturb them. Instead, I turned
towards Corey, who followed behind me, making sure I kept my footing.
I love the way you care for these animals, I said to him, the simple sentence feeling like the most
truthful Id ever spoken.
Before he could respond, I pushed myself against him, our bodies meeting in the warmth of the lake,
and I kissed him, offering him my passion. He took it readily, his mouth hard against mine, his lips burning
me like the sun. I felt mystical in his arms, boundless. I could have easily drowned in the kiss, but Corey
broke away, his eyes seemed to be lit from within as he blatantly admired all that I had to give.
I knew you were wild, he professed.
Drops of water dripped down from my hair, running sensually across my shoulders and chest before
returning to the lake. Corey traced them with his finger, lingering where my bikini top scooped down.
Licking his lips, he cupped my breasts and kissed me again, this time with much more force. His kiss hurt,
in the right way, filling me with pleasure.
Needing more, I reached into the water and pressed my hand against his cock. He was hard, ready to
plunge inside me, to gratify me as his tongue did now, vigorous and relentless. As he pulled down the
straps of my bikini, moving his kisses to my shoulders, I let go of his cock and tugged at my bottoms,
ready to open myself to him.
Hang on, Corey commanded, looking around.
Dont stop, I pleaded, not caring if there was danger. I needed his sex. Needed him. Needed us.
I think people are approaching.
I froze, my desire betrayed by my dignity. Are you sure?
Unfortunately. It seemed to strain him to say it, like his ache matched my own.
 Does it matter? I teased, rubbing my hands along his abs, tempting him.
In response, he nibbled at my ear. Youre not the good girl you make yourself out to be, he
whispered as he helped me pull the bottom of my bikini back up. Ill keep that in mind for next time.
Next time, I echoed, disappointed. I dont think therell be a next time. My flight leaves tomorrow
morning. I perked up. Unless you want to stay with me in my hotel?
I cant, he said, his face twisted in torment. After I drive you back, Im scheduled to help out here
at the reserve.
Then lets meet here at the lake at midnight. We can finish what we started.
He shook his head. Its treacherous in the dark. There are more than poachers in the jungle, creatures
that bite. There are many things I want to do to you, things your body will never forget, but one thing I
wont do is put you in danger. Not again.
I was crestfallen. So this is goodbye?
No, Corey assured me. This isnt goodbye. Ill find you, Imogen. You know I will.

***

Packing was hard. Soon, Id be far from Corey and any chance we had to be together. The next morning,
when I reluctantly dropped my key off to the receptionist at the hotel, I felt as if I was leaving a piece of
my heart behind with it.
Cute elephant, she said, pointing to the plush trinket attached to my rucksack. They say an elephant
never forgets. They mourn loss, like we do. When they return from their migration, they visit the bones of
those they left behind.
Thats sad but beautiful, I said to her. Is that everything you need from me?
Youre checked out, she said, a small smile playing on her lips. Thank you for your stay.
Thank you. This trip turned out to be very enlightening.
At the airport, when I was instructed to put my rucksack on the conveyer belt to baggage, I quickly
unhooked the elephant and stuck it in my pocket. I couldnt lose it. It was my reminder of Corey, so that I
would never forget.
Perhaps I should have forgotten. Compared to what I was about to endure in Chicago, Thailand was a
sweet daydream, even with its dangers. A heat existed in Chicago that had nothing to do with the sun. It
was ruled by the night, a black velvet that aroused and smothered. There were thrills, there was pain, and
there was pleasure. So much pleasure.
 CHAPTER TWO

The Midwest

With a sleek skyline that reflected against the waters of Lake Michigan, Chicago wasnt a city. It was an
empire, ruled by the men and women who sat on the upper floors of its skyscrapers, nobles of the city.
There was an order to the city that made it glide. Compared to the relative ease of Milwaukee, being in
Chicago was like peering through the engine of a really fast car.
Not that I knew much about fast cars. Rusted and loud, my little yellow hatchback that Id driven to
Chicago showed its age. Id put daisy stickers on the back window to try to perk it up, and Id hung my
elephant trinket over the rearview mirror, but stickers and elephants couldnt keep it from falling apart.
With the engine constantly stalling, Id be lucky if it made it back to Milwaukee in one piece.
The hatchback had been my grandmas car, before she was confined to a wheelchair. I should have put
aside some of my inheritance to buy a new car, one that would survive the year. But I couldnt part with
my sunshine on wheels, not until the day the engine refused to turn over, and even then Id probably keep it
in the garage, a monument to the life Id known before I was without a job or family.
The hatchback was parked down the block, a short walk from where I stood now. Before me loomed a
skyscraper that absorbed the dark gray clouds that hung above the city, to the point that it appeared black
and windowless, its only light the fiber optic cherry blossoms outside, a telltale sign I was in the right
place Stafford Scientific, one of the most reputable technological companies in the world.
It was legendary, but I was nameless. There was no way Stafford Scientific would hire me, not for any
position of significance. They filled their halls with geniuses, those who held degrees that made my
masters degree look like a crumpled piece of paper. My hands began to sweat, moistening the envelope I
held. I wiped my palms against the pleats of my blue skater dress, afraid my nerves would dehydrate me.
Corey, what were you thinking? I mumbled.
I didnt know how Corey had managed to arrange the interview for me. I hadnt heard from him since
Id left Thailand weeks ago. I often thought of him, of his arms wrapped around me in the lake, of what
would have happened if we hadnt been interrupted. I believed that he would find me, that we hadnt said
our last goodbyes. Hope that I would see him again had propelled me here, alone in an unfamiliar city, as
much as my desperate need for a job.
Im going to be laughed out of the building.
If I was, Corey could still find me in Milwaukee, evident by the letter I held in my hand, my invitation
from Stafford Scientific to interview with them. Itd been delivered directly to my grandmas house,
which had been passed down to me. I guess that made it my house, but I didnt think of it that way. I didnt
want to. My grandma had worked hard for it. My only claim to it was her death.
The invitation from Stafford Scientific didnt mention the position I was being considered for. Based
on my lowly masters degree, if I were hired, Id probably spend the day fetching coffee for the geniuses
or mopping up after their experiments. I didnt care. I wanted the job. I needed the change as much as the
money, a life that was far from the loneliness I felt in Milwaukee. After Thailand, Milwaukee wasnt as
appealing as it had once been.
Holding tightly onto the straps of my canvas bag, which I wore over my skater dress and a cardigan, I
braced myself. I had no idea of what waited for me inside the skyscraper. The dark exterior was its armor,
protecting its secrets. Pushing myself forward, I tapped a cherry blossom, which glowed brighter under
my touch, and passed through the automatic doors to face my destiny.
Where am I? I thought, awestruck as I stepped into the lobby. And when am I?
The lobby rose up several stories, creating a wide open space filled with movement and innovation. A
split staircase connected the mezzanine to the ground floor, the illuminated steps flashing a sequence of
bold colors and abstract patterns. Huge digital screens were fixed across the marble flooring and along
the staircase. On each screen, the image of a woman with mocha skin, profound brown eyes, and a
friendly smile greeted all who passed by. With her stylish bangs and smooth complexion, she looked like
she belonged on the cover of a magazine.
A digital assistant, I recognized. Fascinating. Its like putting a face on Siri.
The lobby was full of people, most in lab coats, but they werent dressed like any scientists I knew.
Their clothes were exquisite, as if they were attending a corporate event and the lab coats were an
afterthought.
Deborah OBrien, one of the scientists said to a nearby screen. When is my first meeting?
One moment, please, Deborah, the digital assistant responded. A few seconds later, a map of the
building appeared. Your meeting is at three oclock this afternoon in the boardroom on the research
floor. Would you like me to send the brief to your personal device?
Yes, please, Deborah said. Thanks. And then she scurried off.
Though the building was dominated by the Technological Age, I was happy to see whoever designed
it had incorporated natural elements into the lobby, as if saying the advancement of humankind was as
organic as the woodlands outside the city. Tall plants thrived between the digital screens, and to the right
a waterfall gushed from the wall, landing in a pond where koi fish swam. Best of all, on the ceiling were
lights that charted all the constellations in the sky. The constellations that currently overlooked Chicago
pulsed the brightest, a reminder that though we couldnt see them, the stars, and all other aspects of
science, constantly governed us.
Perhaps there was a place for me here after all even though Stafford Scientific wasnt known for
saving the whales or monitoring its carbon footprint. It invented contraptions that offered diabetes
sufferers a painless way to inject insulin. Holograms and three-dimensional technologies were developed
within its labs. Rumors circulated that they had made massive leaps in nanotechnology, little robots that
could repair the human body from the inside.
Id read almost every press release possible on the company to prepare for the interview, and none
had mentioned anything concerning environmental conservation. But now, standing like a lost girl in the
middle of the lobby, it seemed there was more to Stafford Scientific than the newspapers reported.
Miss Clare, the digital assistant called out to me from a nearby screen. Welcome to Stafford
Scientific. I trust your drive from Milwaukee was not too bothersome?
I whirled around, wondering how the hell she knew who I was. Umm, no, I answered awkwardly,
gripping my canvas bag tighter. It was fine.
Fantastic. Your interview will be on the top floor. Please make your way through security and to the
elevators. A map of the lobby appeared on the screen. Security is located within the central booth.
Thanks, I muttered.
At security, an elderly man with deep laughter lines sat in the booth behind a flat screen computer, his
blue uniform perfectly starched. Afternoon, doll, he greeted. Im Old Ben. How can I help you today?
Hello, I returned. My name is Imogen Clare. Im here for an interview.
I reached into my bag for my drivers license, but he waved his hand. Not necessary. I have all your
information here. He leaned towards the computer. Imogen Clare, he instructed the machine, louder
than what was likely necessary.
Sure enough, on a screen fixed to the front of the booth, my photo, my home address, and even a short
personal history appeared. There was nothing too impressive to read. Id done well in school, despite
holding two jobs. My grandma had paid for my tuition, but my books and other costs were on me. Because
I was either studying or working, I hadnt gotten into much trouble.
I groaned. Yep, there it was. The one time I had been in trouble. When I was a senior, Id been
arrested for indecent exposure. A group of us had run naked into Lake Michigan, our decision ruled by the
buzz of cheap wine, but wed been released without charge.
My grandmas death was mentioned at the bottom of the screen, as was my mothers abandonment.
No known living family.
You really do your research, dont ya? I asked, slightly uncomfortable with how transparent my life
was.
We have to in a place like this. Everyone is trying to steal our research. He handed me a tablet with
a contract on it. Sign at the bottom with your name and fingerprint.
What is it?
A non-disclosure agreement. As youre walking through the halls on your way to the interview, you
may see things that the world isnt ready for. This contract says you agree to keep everything you see
confidential, from the toilet paper rolls in the bathroom to the monster robots in the basement. He
laughed, but I wasnt sure he was joking.
Quickly, I flicked through the contract. A non-disclosure agreement was pretty common in business, so
I didnt pay much attention to the jargon as I scanned through it. Anything else? I asked as I handed the
tablet backed to him, signed and sealed.
Just hold out your arm and roll up your sleeve.
I did, expecting him to wrap some sort of security bracelet on me, but instead he held a pen-like
object against my forearm. Before I could protest, my skin was pinched. What was that? I demanded,
jerking my arm away.
A microchip.
What? I rubbed my arm, irritated. I didnt give you permission to microchip me.
You did. In the contract you just signed. Dont worry, doll. Theres no side effects, and it can easily
be removed when you leave the company. Mr. Stafford insists on it. He likes to be in control. He doesnt
like people wandering the halls of his company who cant be tracked, possibly lurking where they
shouldnt be. It also expedites the security process. With that microchip, you have access to the elevators.
They wont move unless everyone inside has one.
Id read about Mr. Stafford, the man who had founded the company. He was said to be highly efficient,
which I took as code for being a tyrant. I didnt know what he looked like, but I imagined him to be an
intolerant devil who made everyone beneath him dance.
What happens if someone refuses?
Theyre not allowed in.
The microchip made me itch with indignation. I wanted to remove it and march out, but I really
needed the job, even if it meant becoming one of Mr. Staffords lab rats. Fine. Ill play. What do I do
now? Do you need a DNA sample or something? Maybe a blood sacrifice?
Old Ben chuckled. I like you, doll. Youve got pluck. He minimized my information from the screen.
Youre all set. The elevator will take you to the top floor.
Whats on the top floor?
The gatekeeper. Youll do fine. Ive only seen a few people leave crying. Just follow procedure, and
youll be okay.
Sounds like fun, I muttered and headed for the elevators, still uneasy with the idea of a microchip in
my arm.
There were no buttons in the elevator. For a moment, I felt the same panic my grandma had when Id
handed her a smartphone for the first time, but thankfully a small huddle of scientists slipped in with me.
Fifth floor, one of them said, causing the elevator to move.
I waited until they got off before I meekly uttered, Top floor.
Purple lasers suddenly streamed across the elevator and scanned me as if I were a walking barcode.
Access granted, the voice of the digital assistant called out, and the elevator lurched upward.
This thing better not have X-ray vision, I thought, distracting myself from the nerves that made my
hands shake. Only those in power occupied the top floors of Chicagos skyscrapers. It was the same in
every city, every empire. Whoever this gatekeeper was, they far outranked me.
When the elevator doors opened, I was startled by a redheaded young man who stood directly in front
of me, so close I could count the freckles across his nose. Finely threaded and creaseless, he was dressed
in a black tuxedo and fancy white dress shirt.
Good afternoon, Miss Clare, he said, standing with a confidence that surpassed his years.
Welcome to Stafford Scientific. Im Peter, the butler. If youll follow me, Ill show you to your room.
My room?
Where you can prepare for your interview.
Of course, I responded, trying to sound as if I was accustomed to everything unusual about this
place.
Colossal vault-like doors lined the hall Peter led me down, as if they held giants within. There were
no windows in the hall, or people for that matter, but there was wealth, seen in the Italian marble floors
and walls. It was stark, like an abandoned hospital, but its minimalism was what made it striking.
How old are you? I asked Peter, whose red hair was like a flame against the white. His face had the
roundness of a boy still in high school, but he carried himself with a prestige I had never achieved.
Eighteen, he answered. I graduated last year.
What high school?
He slowed his pace so that we walked side-by-side. Not high school. College. Im in grad school
now, working on a PhD.
I was impressed. So youre like a boy genius. Are you the gatekeeper? Will you be interviewing
me? I didnt mind working for someone so young. He was obviously well connected if he was eighteen
and working on the top floor.
You flatter me. No, I wont be interviewing you. Im just an intern. My job is to greet people, not hire
them.
Why? I probed. Youre obviously a smart kid. Shouldnt you be in a position worthier of your
education? Not playing butler.
He stopped outside a door and ran his arm across a scanner, unlocking it. How he distinguished it
from the other doors was a mystery. They were all identical. No inscriptions set one door apart from
another.
At Stafford Scientific, everyone starts at the bottom, Peter explained. Mr. Stafford believes it
builds loyalty. He ushered me through the door. Please, wait here. You can help yourself to whatever
you need.
I stood in a suite with a view of the lake. In the kitchenette, a basket full of peanuts and fruit sat on a
counter over the mini-fridge, but I wasnt hungry. My stomach ached with apprehension. Digital assistants,
butlers, and personal suites it was all over my head, making me long for the simplicity of Thailand,
especially the peace of the sea.
Thank you, I said to Peter. Good thing Im not afraid of heights, I joked, pointing towards the
window. I dont think the birds even fly this high.
Youre perfectly safe, he assured me before closing the door.
The screen on the wall in front of the leather couch came to life. Miss Clare, the digital assistant
said. During your interview with Mr. Stafford, there are procedures you must follow. The proper way to
address him is sir
Hang on a minute, I interrupted, my heart pounding. Im being interviewed by Mr. Stafford? Hes
the gatekeeper?
Yes. Mr. Stafford will be interviewing you today. I do not understand your gatekeeper reference, but
this is his company, so he has the ultimate say on who is allowed to work here. When you stand before
him, please address him as sir. Are you wearing perfume?
No, I answered distantly. My hands were sweaty, and my mind raced. I hadnt prepared for this. I
thought Id be meeting someone from Human Resources, not the lord of the castle. It didnt make sense.
That is fortunate. He does not like perfume. If you are wearing any, I kindly ask that you use the
toiletries in the bathroom to wash it off. She continued to list how I was to behave around Mr. Stafford,
but I barely listened. Instead, I was thinking of how I could present my qualifications without sounding
like a newbie scientist, inexperienced and nave.
Miss Clare, Peter said from the door, joining me once again. You okay?
I think Im going to be sick.
Would you like me to call the medic? He seemed genuinely concerned.
No. Its just nerves.
I understand. Mr. Stafford is intense. And strict. But hes not cruel. Theres nothing to worry about.
The interview will be quick. Mine was, at least.
You interviewed with him too?
Everyone does. He has the final word on every new hire and every new promotion, no matter how
small or big the position is.
 It made me feel better. I was still nervous, but I was no longer in danger of a heart attack.
Mr. Stafford is ready, the digital assistant informed us. Good luck, Miss Clare. And please, mind
the procedures.
I dont remember half of what she said, I admitted to Peter as we left the suite and continued down
the hall, closer to the devil himself.
The main thing is to call him sir. Youll learn the rest along the way.
If Im hired, I stipulated.
We stopped at a door at the end of the hall that differed from the rest, breaking the austerity of the
floor. It was sheathed in what I was certain was solid gold, giving it superiority over the rest.
I have Miss Clare for you, Peter announced, speaking into a device tied around his wrist like a
watch.
Only Mr. Stafford can open the door, he explained to me. When he does, go on in. Ill wait for you
out here.
Slowly, the door slid open, and I walked in, ready to bear the whip.
Mr. Staffords office was warmer than the hall. The floors were comprised of the same marble that
decorated most of the building, but the furnishings were made of a rich walnut wood that was cordial and
welcoming. There was no desk, just couches and a wall full of screens. It was impressive but not as
impressive as the man who stood near the floor-to-ceiling windows that oversaw the city and the ports
that bordered the lake.
Dressed in a sharp suit tailored to hug the firm lines of his tall, ripped body, Mr. Stafford faced away
from me, but the richness of his sandy blond hair and the bulk of his tanned neck was familiar. When he
turned around, confronting me with his bright green eyes, green like the jungle, I managed to keep my
composure.
Corey? I asked uncertainly.
No, not Corey. The man was identical to Corey in appearance, but not in the way he carried himself.
Corey was reckless. There was nothing reckless about Mr. Stafford. If Corey was a wildfire, Mr. Stafford
was the frost that tamed the flame. He was ice. Completely calm. Completely calculating. Completely in
charge.
 CHAPTER THREE

Are you a hallucination? I murmured.

Though I knew the man before me was not Corey, my body responded to him as if he were.
Anticipation pulsed through me. I wanted to run to him, to throw my arms around him and replay the
kisses wed shared. I wished he was Corey, so much that it hurt, destroying my nerves and fears.
He stepped away from the window and moved closer to me, his gaze steady and focused, freezing me
with his intensity. There are no hallucinations here, he said, his voice deep and commanding, a song Id
heard before. Welcome to my company, Imogen.
My mind jumped around, trying to put the pieces together. How is this possible? Are you a clone? Or
a robot? I looked around. Are you a hologram? I wasnt trying to be funny. I was serious.
Seemingly unamused, he stopped in his tracks, the green in his eyes darkening. Corey didnt tell
you. He wasnt asking. He was stating it like a bad rumor.
Tell me what?
Im his twin brother, Noah.
It was hard to accept. Wild, rugged Corey, the hot recluse who tramped through the brush to protect
elephants, who carried a gun, whose kisses freed my soul, was brother to Mr. Stafford, the billionaire
who came from a wealthy family, which meant Corey did too. I couldnt imagine Corey having anything in
common with Noah Stafford or his company. It was fancy and bright, but it was rigid, everything Corey
rebelled against.
Drinking me in with a power that made me blush, Noah was the opposite. Gorgeously polished, he
wore his designer suit like a movie star about to walk the red carpet, a man who I imagined smoked fine
cigars and drank bourbon out of a diamond-encrusted glass, who never played a hand he wasnt sure hed
win, who thrived off structure.
Youre a beautiful woman, Imogen, he said, addressing me by name once again. The command he
exhibited made my heart pound. His eyes locked onto mine, pulling me in with their clout, making me
immobile, as if I were chained to the ground, at his mercy. My brother and I dont have a lot in common,
but I can see why he was so taken with you, he said, circling me like a lion inspecting his prey.
Your brother knows very little about me. And I clearly know even less about him, I stammered, my
mouth dry, withering beneath Noahs gaze. To have such an attractive man with so much power staring at
me like I was a present he wanted to take home was disconcerting, making the room spin around me. I
clutched my canvas bag, trying to remain steady.
Tell me something interesting about yourself?
I gulped. Something interesting about me?
He raised an eyebrow. It is an interview, isnt it?
 Yes, of course, I said, exhaling. Okay. Something about me. Throughout the years, Ive collected a
lot of photos. I dont take them. Photography isnt my thing, but I love the memories that photos capture,
especially when the photographer has captured someone off guard, acting completely natural. Growing up,
I insisted my grandma take loads of photos. I snapped my mouth shut to stop the ramble.
He grinned broadly, making his eyes crinkle, as if something I had said brought him great joy. It was a
complete contradiction to his earlier imperiousness. I meant in regards to your qualifications, but I like
your answer much better.
Inwardly, I groaned. No wonder I hadnt landed a job since graduating. I was a babbling mess, but I
didnt mean to be. Pressure didnt make me fold, but the air of authority that wafted off Noah was
intoxicating, turning my mind to butter.
Corey never should have given you my name, I said, faltering under Noahs scrutiny. He doesnt
know anything about my qualifications. I should go.
Youll leave when Im ready for you to leave, Noah replied, asserting his command as he adjusted
the sleeves of his suit, his tan a stark contrast against the white of his dress shirt. Otherwise, we will
have wasted each others time, and neither of us wants that, do we?
No, I agreed. Your time is valuable.
As is yours, Imogen. He sat on the arm of a couch, never losing his focus on me, as if I were the
epicenter of the room. How about you try asking questions about me? You must be curious, seeing that
Corey failed to mention he had a brother.
If he were trying to put me at ease, it worked. The atmosphere was no longer that of an interview; it
was a casual conversation. Acquaintances united by a common thread, that thread being Corey. Me, an
unemployed but hardworking scientist. And him, the striking billionaire who could crush me with the
power enfolded within his eyes.
Okay, I said, taking a seat on the couch across from him. Folding my hands together, I set them on
my lap. Do you like photos?
He laughed. Im impartial.
I nodded, as if it made sense. Whos older, you or Corey?
Me, by two minutes.
I believed it. His presence spoke of an older brother type, domineering and likely fiercely protective.
It inspired my next question. Do you miss Corey?
Try again, he said, leaning forward, fixed on me. This isnt about my brother. Its about you and me
and whether or not we can work together.
He was so close, I could smell the mint of his breath. It made my skin tingle, and my mouth moisten.
Quickly, I wracked my mind for a question that would prove to Noah Stafford that I would be a good fit
for him in his company. To my frustration, all I could think about was Corey and how much the brothers
looked alike, as if it were Corey who sat across from me, having returned for me like he promised. If
Noah didnt have the demeanor of a sexy dictator, or a lack of tattoos along his neck, I wouldnt be able to
tell the brothers apart. With the lines blurred between them, my mind couldnt function properly.
Hot dogs, I sputtered. How do you feel about hot dogs?
I once dressed like one when I was a kid, he revealed freely. During graduation from my boarding
school. I wanted to stand out, to make my mark, and thats how I did it.
You did? I asked, relaxing. If a man like Noah was willing to admit something so humiliating, then I
had nothing to worry about, except that on second glance, he didnt seem at all embarrassed. He looked
proud.
It made the newspapers the next day. My father was furious. He threatened to cut off my trust fund
unless I issued a public apology, but I never did.
It must have been hard going to a boarding school, away from your family, I mused.
Noah kept his composure, but a hint of sadness shadowed his face. It was what it was. I made the
best of it.
I went to a normal public high school. I was such a nerd, I said, laughing, losing myself to the
conversation. Im big into anime Japanese cartoons. Theyre my favorite. Ive also read like every
comic book there is. My grandma collected them. She thought they would be worth money someday, but
unfortunately, she had an awful habit of picking out the most generic ones possible, those that everyone
has on their shelves.
I never cared for comic books, he said, but not in a superior way. People arent born to be heroes.
We have to choose to be.
Is that what youre doing here? Are you choosing to be a hero?
Some would call me a villain, because of my fortitude, he said, refracting my compliment. But I
have no time for scoundrels. Knowledge isnt meant to be hoarded. Its meant to be shared so that we all
can benefit. I was privileged to be born into wealth, but there are certain human conditions that have no
regard for how much money a person has or their status in society, like illness. Stafford Scientific was
founded on the idea that if we pool our knowledge together, humanity can find a way to save those who
need it.
Thats honorable, I said, finding my center and speaking with my own tone of authority. And Im
not just saying that so youll hire me. Whether or not I work here, I think what you do here is very
admirable, and Im thankful you were willing to meet me.
Meet me, sir, he said, his voice low and insistent with a depth that drew me towards him.
Everyone in this company must call me sir.
Im not your employee yet, I argued breathlessly.
He sat up taller, maintaining his command of the room. Tell me, Imogen, if you didnt think you were
qualified to work here, why did you come?
Because Im out of options, I answered truthfully.
Noah smiled, but it didnt feel like a smile. It felt like a challenge. When there is need, there is
innovation. Perhaps I can use your need to my advantage.
I dont do innovation. Im an environmentalist, I contended, resisting his pull, reminding myself that
he wasnt Corey. My body responded to Noah the way a bee did to honey, but from the way he looked at
me, which was neither wholesome or brotherly, my instincts told me I was a game he was playing for the
sake of his brother, some sort of twisted sibling rivalry. The problem was, I liked it.
Get ahold of yourself. You have your career to think about. This isnt about Corey or Noah. This is
about your career.
I dont do innovation, but I am intelligent, I continued. Im also resourceful, and Im dedicated. I
drove two hours to get here in an old hatchback that may not get me back home. Thats how much loyalty I
already have to this company and to you. Ill take any job youre willing to offer me, and Ill do it well.
I suspect you will, Noah perceived. You were right when you said my brother didnt know your
qualifications, but I do. I make it a habit to know the background of all my employees. You were the top of
your class. Your academic supervisor called the dissertation you wrote for your masters degree one of
the best hes read. Tell me, what did you write about in your dissertation?
I suspected he already knew, but I told him anyway. I explored the relationship between humans and
their environment. We tend to abuse our positions in the ecosystems we occupy. We take advantage of
those below us on the food chain. We remain masters of the kingdom, but that doesnt mean we cant have
respect for those we control, those we influence.
Noah listened intently. I could see his mind processing what I said, like a teacher heeding his student.
Yes, I quite agree, he stated when I finished. When someone asserts their authority, its not for their
own benefit. Its to enlighten those they command.
It wasnt exactly what I meant, but I was certain Noah wasnt talking about ecosystems. He referred to
a relationship much more personal. It was inappropriate, but I wasnt in the real world anymore.
Everything about Stafford Scientific was surreal, including the man who ruled it.
Well, thats the beauty of being human, I replied. We control our own destiny.
But what if someone could control your destiny for you? he asked. Wouldnt that be the ultimate
freedom? To live without the burden of choice?
Undone by his vigor, I bit my lip, unable to respond.
Corey, I reminded myself. He said he would find me. Its Corey who I want. Not his deliciously evil
twin. Or hero twin. Whatever.
It helped. No, I said. It would not be the ultimate freedom. Choice is freedom.
This seemed to please him. He smiled, challenging me once more. You have a lot to learn about
humanity, Imogen. Perhaps I can teach you. Is that why youre here? So I can teach you?
Im here because Corey wants me to be. When hes finished with his work in Thailand, hell return
for me.
His smile faded. Did he tell you that?
Yes. He told me he would find me. I guess being here makes it easier for him. That, and he knew I
needed a job.
I see. He looked disappointed. Too bad for me, but well done to my brother. You truly are loyal,
even if it is misguided. We dont have a department that would benefit from your degree, but perhaps we
should. Until then, Im confident I can find a place for you here.
Really? Flooded with relief, I broke into a huge, unsophisticated grin that would have embarrassed
me if Noah had never told his hot dog story. That means a lot. Thank you. Ill take whatever you have to
offer.
My personal assistant will soon be promoted to another department, and I have yet to find a
replacement for her. Your timing is opportune.
I tried not to flinch. Being Noahs personal assistant didnt sound opportune at all, not when I was
easily tempted by him. Since leaving Thailand, Corey had been the center of my daydreams, and now the
same face was staring at me, offering to teach me in ways I couldnt begin to imagine.
He saved me, I revealed, trying to set boundaries so that Noah would understand why I would
remain loyal to Corey, no matter how much they physically resembled each other. I put myself in a bad
situation, and he came to my rescue. He does that. Like you, he rescues people.
He shouldnt, Noah said coldly, any goodwill between us slashed by his iciness. His arrogance
puts him at risk.
Arrogance has nothing to do with it. Hes looking after those who cant defend themselves. Not just
me. Others too, including an entire herd of elephants.
Im aware of my brothers efforts. I receive the statements from his trust fund. I used mine to build
this company. His is being wasted on these fleeting notions of his. Most things my brother does are
fleeting, he said poignantly, a warning to me. Thats where his arrogance lies. If he were as devoted to
his causes as he claims to be, he wouldnt be guarding a single herd of elephants while his money runs
dry. He would build something of substance, like set up a foundation. He would sacrifice his need to rebel
and commit himself to their cause, raise awareness of their plight here, at home, where theres money and
influence.
You miss him, I observed, reading between the lines. You want your brother to return as much as I
do.
Dont think you know me, Imogen. And dont think you know my brother. How much time exactly did
you spend together?
I lifted my chin. Time doesnt matter.
Time is all that matters. Like stone, he turned away from me. You start Monday. Dont be late.

***

After the interview ended, though it didnt feel like much of an interview, Peter escorted me back to the
lobby where a woman with a very memorable face waited for us.
Isnt that the digital assistant? I asked Peter, wondering how far the labs at Stafford Scientific had
gotten in their development of holograms.
If she was a hologram, she was incredibly lifelike. With her hair layered around her perfect mocha
complexion and dazzling smile, she looked like she was one of the goddesses the stars on the ceiling were
named after. Like everyone else in the company, her clothes were exquisite, exemplifying the efficiency of
the company. With a leather scarf wrapped around her neck as an accessory, she wore a plum-colored
dress that hugged her curves but was modest and professional.
Imogen, she greeted me. Im Julia Wilson, Mr. Staffords personal assistant. Youll be replacing
me when Im promoted in a few weeks. She shook my hand, which was warm and very much alive. Im
very pleased to meet you.
Me too. In person. Weve already met in the digital world.
She laughed. Yes. The program was designed after me. My clone, except that its much bossier than I
am. She lightly touched Peters arm, causing him to blush. That will be all. Thank you.
Of course, he mumbled, momentarily falling victim to the awkwardness of adolescence.
Lets go, she said to me. We have some shopping to do.
Shopping? I asked, following behind her as she dashed towards the exit. I dont understand.
Your outfit doesnt fit Mr. Staffords dress code. Its too suburban. Personally, I love it. It suits
you, but Mr. Staffords word is final.
I was skeptical. How did he arrange this in the short amount of time it took to get down here? The
interview only just finished.
You may not realize it, but you had the job before you walked in. Mr. Stafford has been looking over
your files all week. He knows more about you than you probably know about yourself.
 Thats a little creepy, I uttered as we stepped outside.
Its not creepy; its prudent. His brother rarely makes contact with him. In fact, I didnt even know he
had a brother until I received the email on behalf of Mr. Stafford. Of course he was going to investigate
the woman who inspired his brother to resurface, no matter how briefly.
You read the email? I asked, intrigued.
It was short, but it got the point across. Corey provided Mr. Stafford with your name and hometown,
and he asked that you be given a position in the company so that Mr. Stafford could watch over you. That
was it. I did a quick search with the information he provided and found an obituary for your grandmother
in a local newspaper that mentioned you as her only known descendent. Finding your address was easy
after that.
I stopped, needing a moment to process everything. My life had been equivalent to a tumbleweed
rolling around aimlessly. Now, I had a job, one that required me to move to Chicago, and I was about to
go on a shopping spree with a woman who had a digital clone.
Julia patted my back. Celebrate. Change is a good thing.
I hope so. I took my wallet out of my canvas bag and examined the bills inside. I dont have much
to spend, especially now that I need to look for an apartment here. Is there a thrift store nearby?
Thats not the way Mr. Stafford operates, Julia said, gently taking my wallet from me and placing it
back in my bag. He would never expect the expense for his demands to fall on his employees. The
company will pay for your new wardrobe. It will also pay for your apartment. She took my arm and
guided me towards a glossy car with tinted windows. I hope you dont mind having me as a roomie.
My spirits leapt.
Not at all, I said sincerely. I liked Julia. On first impression, she was a doll designed by the
company, but her personality sparked through whatever formality was required of her.
A driver got out of the car and opened the door for us. Good afternoon, ladies, he said, tipping his
hat.
Afternoon, I returned.
Fred, Julia greeted.
Ive never been a personal assistant before, I reflected as we settled into the backseat. Is it
difficult?
Not at all, Julia told me. Its demanding. Though our office hours are normal, our contract
stipulates that were at Mr. Staffords beck and call until midnight. But its not difficult. She smiled slyly.
It even comes with its perks. Youll only be expected to be his personal assistant for a year. After that,
youre free to move on to any department in the company.
Really? I was surprised. Peter had mentioned something similar, but I figured it only applied to the
geniuses.
Of course. I have PhD in Business Economics from Harvard. I didnt spend a year answering phone
calls and scheduling meetings for nothing. Ive proved my loyalty to Mr. Stafford. And thats why I get to
move on, she chirped. As long as you remain loyal, hell do the same for you. After looking over your
files this week, he even mentioned developing a department solely dedicated to the impact the company is
having on the environment. Youve only been here one day, and youre already inspiring change.
I didnt know what to say to that, so I asked, Where are we going? I needed to change the subject. It
was too overwhelming. The high street?
 Julia tittered. No high street. Mr. Stafford has his own street, a row full of shops dedicated to his
needs. As his assistants, we have access to it.
Tucked away discreetly near a park, the street was not far from the company. As we shopped, we
were treated like royalty. Champagne waited for us at every corner, and we were offered massages and
manicures between fittings, all with the request that we wish Mr. Stafford well on behalf of those who
attended to us.
It was a humbling experience. My skater dress was cheap sandpaper compared to the soft fabric of the
garments Julia threw my way, mostly dresses with the same figure-hugging form as the one she wore. They
were not my style, but they beat the uniform Id be wearing flipping burgers, which was probably what I
would have ended up doing if not for Corey. It was because of him that I was here, my nails freshly
polished, my spirits lifted. Realizing what hed done for me, my loyalty to him became bulletproof.
Later that evening, Julia showed me our apartment. The dcor was similar to that of Noahs office,
warm but disciplined, everything in its place. It was too late to drive back to Milwaukee to pack.
Exhausted, I asked Julia to point me towards my room, where I fell down upon the king-sized mattress and
let the day melt into my dreams.
A few hours later, I woke. Night drifted outside the window, black except for the haze of the city
lights. We werent in the penthouse, but we were pretty high up. The empty canvas of my room reflected
back in the window. As soon as I arrived to work on Monday, Id receive a credit card designated for
expenses like sheets and furnishings but doubted Id use it. I liked the sheets I had back in Milwaukee. Not
everything had to be new. I may have inspired change within the company, but I didnt want the company
to change me.
Placing a hand on the window, I looked up at the night sky, which was obscured by clouds that faded
into the black. This black was my new reality. I sensed it, the way a mouse knew when it was being
hunted. By signing the contract Julia had given me in the car after our shopping spree, I no longer
belonged to the day. The night would rule me.
 CHAPTER FOUR

The ancient princess, Andromeda, was known in Greek mythology as the Chained Maiden. Her mother,
Cassiopeia, the queen, testified amongst their people that the beauty of her daughter surpassed those of the
water nymphs, who were the consorts of the gods. The gods were furious. They threatened to destroy her
kingdom unless Andromeda was chained to the rocks by the sea to await the monster within its depths, a
sacrifice to appease them.
The constellation Andromeda glowed above my head in the lobby at Stafford Scientific, appearing at
the edge of the night sky. Upside down, I supposed it did look like a woman chained, her arms pulled back
by the weight of her cuffs. Lost in thought, I ran a hand over my own wrists, wondering what it was liked
to be bound like that. I imagined myself chained to the rocks in place of the princess, but there was no
fear. There was only sweet anticipation.
It some ways, I was already chained. There were no rocks, and there were no monsters, but I was
confined, waiting for someone to arrive, someone who would determine my fate.
And yet I was freer than Id ever been. Chicago was an adventure, more so than Thailand had been. I
had gone to Thailand knowing it was temporary, a passing whim. Chicago wasnt temporary. It was a new
life. I had packed my bags, and I wasnt going back.
Youre going to hurt your neck looking up like that, Julia warned, coming up behind me.
Preferring the familiarity of my sunny, beat-up hatchback over the company car that was scheduled to
pick us up, I had left the apartment before her, eager to start my first day. I didnt feel like myself. The
indigo dress I wore pushed up my breasts in a way that made me wish I wasnt banned from wearing my
cardigan. It wasnt indecent, but it was more skin than I was used to showing, not unless I was wearing a
coral bikini in a tropical lake, surrounded by elephants. The cut of the dress was low, but the rest of me
was well-covered. If not, I never would have worn it.
The dress, I could get used to, but I refused to be chauffeured around as if I were a child incapable of
getting to school on their own. The microchip was bad enough.
I miss the stars, I told Julia. From my grandmas house just outside Milwaukee, I can see clusters
of stars. Its breathtaking.
Chicago has its own beauty, Julia said encouragingly, but I understand. Cambridge, where Harvard
is located, is such a lovely suburb of Boston. The leaves fall in the autumn, the snow in the winter, and the
sun shines in the summer, all against a backdrop of old brick buildings and ivy. I loved going to school
there. Chicago is different, but it has its joys, especially when the sun isnt shining. From the way she
smirked, whatever she referred to wasnt as wholesome as the leaves or the snow.
She glanced at her watch. We cant be late. Lets head up.
Ignoring the line of elevators we passed, she went to the one at the very back of the lobby. It goes
directly to the top floor, she explained. Very few employees have clearance to use it. Thankfully, we
do.
Im surprised Peter isnt forced to wait downstairs until Noah arrives, I said cynically as we
stepped in.
Julia looked horrified. Do not call him Noah. I know youre friends with his brother, but hes Mr.
Stafford, in these walls and out. Unless youre in his presence. Then its sir. She wasnt harsh, but she
was avid.
I understand, I said.
Good. Relaxing, she waved her arm in the air, and the door closed. And Mr. Stafford doesnt use
this elevator. With a private entrance at the back, he doesnt come into the lobby.
As the elevator rose, I thought of the way Noah had looked at me during our interview. It made me
question his motives for making me his personal assistant. Being caught in the middle of a sibling rivalry
was the last thing I wanted. Even with such brief acquaintance, Corey was the brother Id met first. I
hoped Noah accepted it.
Does Mr. Stafford live in our building? I asked.
No, she answered. But Stafford Scientific does own it. An executive in the marketing floor has the
penthouse. She studied me. If youre worried about being alone in the apartment, dont be.
I hadnt been, but I was now. Are you leaving?
She laughed. No. Thats my point. Even after Im promoted, Ill still be living in the apartment with
you. The office is another story. Its all yours. Soon, itll be just you and Mr. Stafford on the top floor. And
Peter, of course. Isnt Peter simply adorable?
Wait, the whole top floor is his?
Mr. Stafford demands it.
Then where do all the doors lead?
Please dont say monster robots.
Labs and boardrooms. Mr. Stafford is territorial about his space, she divulged. Hes like a hermit
within his own company. He doesnt go to his employees; his employees come to him. So whenever
theres a meeting, its held upstairs. When an invention is ready for his approval, they transfer the lab
equipment.
The device on her wrist suddenly buzzed. Thats strange, she murmured.
What? I asked, but she didnt answer.
Down, she instructed. The elevator lurched, then descended. We cant keep the boss waiting, she
said to me. Mr. Stafford is in the lobby.
I thought you said he has his own private entrance.
He does. Thats what makes this so strange. Hes never taken this elevator before. I didnt think he
even knew it existed.
I didnt know much about Noah, but I would bet he knew every corner of his company, particularly a
special elevator that went directly to his floor.
When the doors opened, Noah was as immaculate as the first time I saw him. The navy suit he wore
made his hair even more golden than it already was. It was a close match to the indigo of my dress, which
unsettled me, especially when Noah noticed it as well.
Nice dress, Imogen, he said as he stepped in, taking his place in front of us, asserting his role as our
superior.
I closed my eyes, willing my heart to stop beating so fast. Noah was like a poisonous snake with a
skin that mimicked less lethal snakes, trying to trick its prey. It happened in the natural world. And now at
Stafford Scientific. And yet I still was tempted by him, enthralled by his god-like looks and air of
dominance, willing to be bitten.
A blush warmed my cheeks. I found the sudden silence incredibly awkward. At least, it was awkward
for me. In his reflection in the elevator door, Noah seemed completely content. I looked at Julia, who
smiled knowingly my way, as if she were amused by the show.
Good day, ladies, Noah bid when we finally reached the top floor. He proceeded to his office, and
we went into ours, which stood adjacent to the solid gold door.
As soon as we were out of earshot, Julia hissed, What was that all about?
Maybe his private elevator is broken, I suggested. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure I actually
showed up for the job.
Her face fell, all her amusement gone. Thats probably exactly what it was, she ventured. Hes
such a control freak. Though she protested, I heard a hint of admiration.
Good thing my hatchback didnt break down. I probably would have been fired.
Doubtful, she said, but she didnt explain why. Instead, she perked up. Never mind all that. What
do you think of your new home? The apartment is a mere rest stop. This is where youll really be living.
A view of Lake Michigan greeted us. A haze of gray rose above it and filtered in through the tall
windows, but the gray was offset by apple-red furnishings that brightened up the place, including couches
that formed a square near the door, creating a lounge area. Closer to the windows were two desks that sat
at opposite ends on a raised platform. The platform was practically symmetrical, if not for the door on
one side that I assumed led straight to Noahs office.
Well need a megaphone to talk to each other, but its great. The red really adds some life to the
room. Did you design it?
No. One of the assistants before me did. I liked it, so I left it, but were allowed to change the color
scheme. But only the color scheme. We can choose new furniture, but we cant move it around, not
without Mr. Staffords authorization, which he isnt likely to give. He likes everything exactly where it
is.
People were constantly watching over my shoulder. It was fucking intolerable. Thats what Corey
had said in Thailand. I was starting to understand the restrictions that had forced him to leave. I could
only imagine how Noah spoke to Corey, whose actions he clearly disapproved of, based on his insistence
the other day that Corey unnecessarily put himself at risk.
If you want to change it, feel free, Julia continued.
No, I love it. It should stay the same.
Careful, she warned. A lot of things stay the same around here, but not everything. Dont get too
comfortable.
She headed to the desk closest to the wall we shared with Noahs office, so I went to the other. A
laptop sat on top of it. For the security of the research being conducted in the labs, we werent allowed to
bring in our own devices. All electronics were provided to us, which was fine by me. My electronics
were like my car. I liked to think of them as vintage.
I forgot to leave this out for you. Julia tossed me a wrist device. Good catch, she praised when I
caught it.
Good throw.
I played softball, she revealed. Think of that device as your phone. All messages Mr. Stafford
sends will appear on it.
Gotcha, I said, strapping it on, positive it tracked my whereabouts as astutely as the microchip in
my arm did. Look at me. A year ago, all I owned was an ancient laptop and a smartphone my friend had
handed down to me. Now Ive upgraded to Star Trek status.
Youre such a nerd, Julia teased. A hot nerd, but a nerd nonetheless. Dont tell me you collect
comic books?
I dont collect them. I just read them. Blame my grandma. She stalked Stan Lee. Twice.
Im not going to pretend to know who Stan Lee is, she said, opening her laptop, but if I have time,
Ill try to catch up, see what all the fuss is about.
I was touched she would do that for me. Content despite the man in the room next to us, I followed her
lead, officially commencing my employment with Stafford Scientific.
The morning was uneventful, if integrating into a company such as Stafford Scientific could be called
uneventful. Julia trained me in the communication systems the company used and gave me a brief of the
different departments. Each floor was like a city within the empire, composed of departments that were
isolated but collaborated with others.
Do we really have all this equipment here? I asked, awestruck. The basement alone contained an
advanced particle accelerator that was years beyond anything Id studied in my books in college.
And more. I dont have visual access to the classified labs. No one does, except those who work in
them and Mr. Stafford.
She stretched out her arms, as if she were about to run a race. Which brings us to our next order of
business. The World Science Convention will be hosted here in Chicago by Stafford Scientific about a
month from now. Its a really big deal. Were responsible for organizing pretty much everything, from
scheduling the meetings that will take place over the three-day period to making sure the meat they serve
at lunch is fresh. She sighed. We also have to arrange accommodations for the speakers and send out
invitations to the gala. Its a lot of work.
It sounds like it, but dont worry, I can handle it, I assured her, speaking with more confidence than I
felt. I think.
You can, she maintained, optimistic, but thats not why Im bringing it up. There will be a reveal at
the convention that Mr. Stafford hasnt yet given you clearance to know about. Because of that, Ill have to
assign you the more menial tasks until that clearance is given.
I wont hold it against you, I told her. Were all bound to discretion. Its okay if you have secrets
you cant tell me.
She laughed. I do have those, but the convention is less about secrets and more about protecting Mr.
Staffords patent.
Ill lick envelopes. Send them my way. Theyre tasty.
Youre such a weirdo, she said affectionately, and we returned to our work.
No one interrupted us, not even Noah. Though he was only next door, he kept to himself. If he needed
something, he sent us a message through our devices. He didnt show although I got the feeling Julia
expected him to. She kept glancing at the door that linked us to his office, but it never opened, which
seemed to concern her.
Is it weird seeing your image everywhere? I asked when I needed a break.
Not at all, Julia said, her head bent over her laptop. I paid my tuition at Harvard by modeling. Im
used to seeing my image around. She looked up. You should get used to it too.
That sounded ominous. What do you mean by that?
The next time they reconfigure the system, theyll use your image. Traditionally, Mr. Staffords
personal assistant is also the digital assistant. Trust me, it makes you very popular. Youll be the most
recognized face in the company. And the whole process is kind of fun. You sit in a green room for a few
hours while they record you reading from a script.
That doesnt sound like fun, I objected. I dont care if its in my job description, Im not doing it.
Theres no way.
Why not? Youre a beautiful woman. You should be proud to have your image everywhere. All
women should.
Im not insecure; I just dont like the idea of everyone staring at me every day.
She shrugged, unable to mask her happiness. Well, I dont mind my image sticking around for a little
while longer. If you dont want to do it, then dont. Her pep told me she was delighted that she wouldnt
be replaced so soon.

***

It was the following day before Noah finally appeared in our office. Unfortunately, Julia was on her lunch
break when he did. In the middle of finalizing the invitations for the gala, a ball that would be held at the
end of the World Science Convention, my focus had been on the screen of my laptop. I hadnt heard him
come in, not until he cleared his throat, unmistakably annoyed itd taken so long to catch my attention.
Has Julia showed you the program used to take notes during meetings? he asked sternly, as if her
absence was somehow my fault.
Yes, I told him. I know the system.
He paused and raised an eyebrow as if waiting for something from me. I knew what it was. He wanted
me to call him sir, but I refused. It was barbaric. I just looked at him expectantly and I won the silent little
battle as he continued. I have an unscheduled meeting in five minutes in the boardroom. Grab your tablet
and come with me.
Without waiting for a response, he strode into the hall with a virile confidence that rendered me needy
and reckless, despite my opinion that Noah Stafford was a bad decision I could never make. I followed
behind him, but my heels made it impossible to match his speed, and they clicked against the floor in a
way that gave me a headache, so I stopped to take them off.
What are you doing? Noah rumbled.
Keeping up, I replied. I dont mean to be unprofessional, but I cant wear heels like these, even if
they are part of the dress code. Ill be discreet when I carry them into the boardroom. No one will
notice.
He inspected me as if I were a piece of fruit he was trying to decide was ripe enough to pluck.
Youre lucky I like you in bare feet. Otherwise, I would never allow it. I didnt give you permission to
take off your shoes. Next time, ask before you act. Im not paying you for your initiative. Im paying you to
obey my command.
 I took a deep breath, wishing Corey was there to ease the tension I felt. Do I have your permission to
buy sandals?
No. When you walk my halls, you either wear heels, or you go barefoot. The choice is yours.
It was an easy choice. The marble was cool against my feet. I would gladly go barefoot.
In the boardroom, a dozen people waited for us in silence. Noah marched to the front, a torpedo
locked onto his target. Not sure where to sit, I remained in the back and prepared my tablet to record the
minutes of the meeting.
My fumbling stopped when Noah bellowed across the room, Imogen, please dont stand in the back
like a ghost who doesnt wish to be seen. Your place is up front, in the corner.
Embarrassed, I quickly made my way towards him, absorbing the empathy that radiated off those who
sat around the table, their understanding of my humiliation written all over their faces.
Let me remind everyone here that you are bound by non-disclosure agreements, Noah began.
Nothing is to leave this boardroom. You are never to talk of what we discuss outside the company. If you
breach this agreement, I will take action against you. You and your families will suffer.
No one protested. The room remained silent. Satisfied, Noah signaled for a tech guy to turn on the
projector, and he started a lecture on nanotechnology.
I didnt take notes on the presentation. As soon as the projector was turned on, it was sent straight to
my tablet. As Noah spoke, I read his words in front of me. It was fascinating. I had a background
knowledge of nanorobotics, but I had no idea of the implications of the technology. According to Noah,
tiny robots the size of molecules could physically repair tissues within the human body like little
mechanics. He predicted they could one day change DNA sequences, creating or erasing mutations to
eliminate birth defects and other inherited diseases.
We cant alter DNA just yet, he said in closing, but here at Stafford Scientific, we have
experienced a breakthrough in nanotechnology that would allow us to repair human tissue. Were very
close to human trials, but we need to win over the medical community first. I plan to reveal our
breakthrough at the convention next month.
Excited murmurs rose around the table, and I went to work. There was a lot of technical talk I didnt
understand. As a scientist, I found it insanely frustrating, so I made a commitment to study more about
nanotechnology later that night so that I was ready for the convention.
We cant wait for the approval of the medical community, a man towards the back argued. At the
convention, we need to present more than just the possibilities of the research. Sure, a few rats were
cured of their heart defects, and a blind guinea pig could see again. Who cares? Its not enough to prove
nanotechnology can be safe for humans. We need conclusive evidence. Begin the human trials now.
Were not there yet, Noah said impatiently. The whole point of this convention is to draw in the
medical community so that we can safely begin the human trials.
Fuck the medical community. We can buy the medical community.
Pounding his fists on the table, Noah exerted his authority. You would risk the lives of innocent
people so carelessly? Why? he demanded.
The man wasnt put off, the fool. This is a business, not a charity. Who cares if a few lives are lost?
All medical trials have death.
I gaped at the man but kept my face carefully blank. I wanted to jump up and shout at him, hit him with
my tablet. Instead, I waited to see what Noah would do. If anything.
 Were not a pharmaceutical company. I did not start this company to kill people. Our brand of
science is meant to help people, not hurt them. If you dont understand that, you can leave. Noah spoke
sharply, like a judge holding his gavel.
The man shrunk in his seat. Im sorry, sir. I was merely playing devils advocate. Of course we
should ensure the trials are safe and supervised by professionals in the medical field.
I doubted he truly believed so.
His apology didnt ease Noah. The fire, so hot it was cold, was lit. This presentation is over, Noah
seethed. Leave. All of you. Now.
I moved with the crowd who rose from their seats, but Noah held me back. Not you, Imogen. You
only leave with me. Never before. Never after. Your place is by my side.
Julia waited for us back in our office, a coffee in her hand. Please know you can always call me
away from lunch, sir. Im at your beck and call.
Dont let it happen again, he barked and disappeared behind the door to his office.
Seemingly used to his discourtesy, Julia turned to me. How did it go?
Terrifying, I admitted.
Lets get a drink after work, she decided. I think we both need it.

***

A drink after work turned into many drinks. We sat in a blues bar, the lights low, the walls covered in
black velvet. It was mellow, a remedy for the long day. With the soft soulfulness of the music in the
background, we talked.
Tell me more about you, Julia requested as she downed her fourth margarita. Work Julia was
quickly diminishing, revealing Real Julia, her truer self.
Theres not a whole lot to tell.
Any boyfriends? she asked. What are the men in Milwaukee like? I imagine theyre big and husky
like lumberjacks.
I laughed, glad she hadnt yet realized Corey and I were more than friends. Milwaukee is only two
hours away from here. Less depending on how fast you drive. You should go visit sometime and see for
yourself. The men are okay.
Only okay? Someone else has caught your eye! she reasoned, lighting up. Who is it?
No one here, I said honestly. Hes far away. But I hope he returns soon.
Me too, she said. For your sake. So you like it here in Chicago? Mr. Stafford hasnt scared you
off?
No, he hasnt scared me off. I really need this job. Ive got my armor on. And I want to stay. More so
than I thought I would. I have a feeling theres more of the city Ive yet to experience, but I like it here.
Youll really like it here if Mr. Stafford continues his pattern.
What pattern?
Nothing, she mumbled, waving her hand. Im just drunk. We should redecorate the apartment. Its a
bit bland, dont you think? Maybe add some color. I like yellow, like sunshine.
Me too, I said, thinking of my hatchback. I also like a bright aqua blue, like a tropical sea.
 She held her margarita glass high. Then we have our new color template! she declared joyfully as
she swayed in her chair, the alcohol definitely kicking in.
Woohoo! I cheered, feeling my own kick. Were making our house a home!
Home is where the heart is. And the booze.
Recalling that Julia was far from her actual home, I asked, Do you miss your family in Boston?
I dont have any family, she said, much more solemn. She took a sip of her drink then added, I was
a foster kid.
But youve done so well.
She giggled, as if I had said something funny. Of course I did. I was determined to. I enjoy the fact
that I put myself through school. I liked the challenge. Life is boring without challenge.
I dont have any family either. My mother abandoned me when I was a kid. I was raised by my
grandma, but she recently passed. Some of the emotion Id been withholding leaked out, making my
voice hoarse.
That is so fucking sad. We can be family, Julia decided. Well be sisters. We cant let anything
come between us.
Sisters, I toasted.
We talked some more, and we made plans to go dancing, but our night was cut short when Noah
stormed into the bar. His sandy blond hair was unruly, the first time Id ever seen it out of place, and there
was a weariness that faded the brightness of his eyes, but he remained as overbearing as ever, greeting us
with obvious disapproval.
Imogen, come with me, he directed. We need to go over the notes from the meeting today.
With the alcohol pumping through my blood, I was tantalized by his imperiousness. The power he
emitted engulfed me, made me his willing servant, prepared to do anything he asked of me. But then I
looked at Julia and remembered the vow Id just made that no one would come between us, especially not
a man who was as pompous as he was gorgeous. I couldnt abandon her, so I stayed where I was.
I emailed them to you, I told him, letting the alcohol fuel my courage instead of my lust. We can go
over the notes tomorrow.
I looked at Julia for support, but she shook her head and mouthed, Dont.
Noah was prepared for the battle. Your time is my time until midnight. Its in the contract. You will
be compensated financially for your overtime, of course, but you will come with me. Now.
Sharply, he turned his attention to Julia. Go home. Theres a cab waiting for you.
You cant talk to you that way! I said, rising from my seat, feeling woozy. I giggled, my buzz hitting
me fast. I mean, you cant talk to her that way.
Immediately, his demeanor changed. Imogen, are you okay? he asked with concern.
I think so, I uttered, though the room spun around me. Hey, are you a dragon? Corey said hes a
dragon and Im his gold.
Corey isnt here, Noah reminded me.
Hes not? I asked, saddened, then tumbled forward, losing my footing.
Reaching his arms out, Noah caught me, holding me by the wrists, his grip strong and caring. Blushing,
the humiliation sobered me, pushed my buzz away, but it did little to tame my arousal. Coreys not here,
but you are, I whispered, completely aware of what I was saying.
 Horrified with myself, I immediately stepped out of his grasp and apologized. Im better now. It was
just a passing high. I blame the sugar more than the alcohol.
He didnt look so certain. Are you able to work?
Shes able, but she shouldnt have to, Julia said, joining me in my small rebellion.
Noah straightened, returning to his fortitude. Were all leaving, he ordered and grabbed my hand
and led me outside, his skin warm against mine.
Reluctantly, Julia followed us and got into the cab. Have fun, sir, she grumbled as she slammed the
door shut.
Behind the cab, a company car waited for us, its tinted windows ominous in the night. Still blushing, I
slipped into the backseat and found my tablet. To avoid any awkward conversation about what I had
whispered, I immediately turned it on and pretended to search through my notes. For a long while, we
didnt speak, but as my humiliation wore away, I saw the car ride for what it was an opportunity to
learn more about my sexy rebel in Thailand.
Did you and Corey grow up in the city? I asked.
No, we didnt, Noah answered vaguely as he adjusted his tie, refusing to look at me.
It irritated me, breaking the spell from earlier. Folding my arms across my chest, I sank into my seat.
You really should treat your employees better.
Why? Its my company. I pay my employees well. I make sure their families are taken care of. If they
dont like it, they can leave.
Thats a cowards way out. I know you built the company with your own sweat and blood, but your
employees deserve respect. Without them, youd be standing in a lab all alone.
I do respect them. Thats why I take care of their families. I just make sure they respect me too.
Passing by a park, I realized we were heading away from the offices. Where are we going?
I instructed the driver to circle around for a little while. We can go through the notes here.
Good thing I dont get car sick, I said, scrunching my nose.
It made him laugh, lightening the mood. Youre too adventurous to be car sick.
I am adventurous, but Im also tired. My boss is very demanding.
You havent seen demanding yet. Shall we start? You can begin by reading me the notes of the
meeting.
Reluctantly, I turned the tablet back on and went over the discussion on nanotechnology. Closing his
eyes, Noah leaned back and listened to me as if I were singing him a lullaby. As he did, there was an
intensity to his face that was a mix of anticipation and fatigue. Halfway through the notes, I stopped. This
is really important to you, isnt it?
His bright green eyes met mine once more. It is.
Why?
You read the presentation.
I nodded. But why is it important to you?
It could save lives.
Is there a life you hope to save?
His jaw clenched, and he tensed. There are many lives I want to save.
 I understood too well. The weight of what he was trying to accomplish hit me. Maybe Julia should be
the one working with you on this. She has way more experience than I do.
Julia will be promoted before the convention. And shes not a scientist. This is your project. Dont
worry, if I didnt think you could handle it, I never would have hired you as my assistant. He placed a
hand on my knee, and I let him, telling myself he was merely trying to comfort me, even though the strength
of his grip made my stomach flutter with anticipation.
If Corey hadnt emailed you, and Id applied on my own, would you have hired me? I asked,
desperate to remember the man I really wanted. If anything happened with Noah, if I fell for this
attraction, Corey would never forgive me.
Yes, I do believe I would have given you some sort of position, but his email gave me the
opportunity to learn more about you. After reading about your life, I knew I could trust you to be my
assistant.
How so?
His eyes burned into mine, igniting a fresh course of adrenaline that rushed through me. You stayed
close to home. After you graduated from high school, you could have gone to any university, but you
didnt. I suspect it had to do with your grandmother. You wanted to be close to her. Thats loyalty. And for
that reason, Im glad my brother emailed me. It brought you to me.
Im glad he emailed you too, I said, trying to ignore how much I liked his hand on my knee. It was
firm but protective, like he was. You know, Corey trying to save the herd of elephants isnt much
different from your commitment to nanotechnology.
His eyes refused to leave mine. Its clear how enamored you are with my brother. Tell me, Imogen,
are you as enamored with me?
My mind stayed with Corey, but my body pulsed under Noahs intensity. There was plenty of room in
the backseat, but we were so close, pulled together like magnets. I dont know you, I breathed.
You barely knew him.
I didnt like him when I first met him, I blurted out, trying to break his hold on me.
It didnt work. Tenderly, he massaged my knee. Does that mean you dont like me?
Yes, I said, swallowing anxiously. And no. Like I said, I dont know you.
He leaned closer to me. What impression of me do you have so far?
That youre tired.
Slowly, he moved his hand farther up my thigh. You are perceptive.
Against my will, I shivered. My core throbbed with his hand so close. It was inappropriate, but it was
delightful. Beneath my low-cut dress, my breasts heaved as my breath quickened. Noah was so damn
attractive, and not just because he looked like his twin. I was drawn to the stability promised by his
authority. Tattoos and ruggedness were alluring, but nothing was sexier than a man who knew exactly what
he wanted.
Think of Corey, I reminded myself. My loyalty is bulletproof. Its because of him that Im here, that
Im no longer a tumbleweed.
Have you heard any more from Corey? I stammered, trying to steady my breath.
Corey is an adult. He doesnt check in. The email he sent that led you here has been the only contact
he made. It took years to receive that email, and it will probably be years before I hear from him again,
likely when his trust fund runs dry.
 His hand gripped my thigh harder, and I almost flinched under the touch. Do you know why he asked
me to take care of you? he challenged, but he didnt wait for me to answer. Because hes not coming
back. He never has, and he never will.
Why did he leave? I asked, less upset by his proclamation than Id thought Id be.
The muscle in his jaw popped. Maybe you should ask him that.
I cant. Hes not here.
It was a setup, an excuse for Noah to place his lips next to my ear and whisper, Precisely. Hes not
here. But I am.
It was erogenous. His breath was warm against my ear, insinuating everything he could do to me with
his mouth so close. A nibble on my earlobe. Kisses down my neck.
Bulletproof.
This is his home, I insisted softly. Everyone returns home, sooner or later. He promised me hed
find me. What will you say to him when he does?
Out there is his home, Noah grunted, but he backed off. You know it as much as I do.
Ill take the chance, I said, relieved that he had given me back my space, and a little disappointed.
The spell had been broken, but my body remained charged, and only Noah could release it.
Reaching into a compartment against the divide that separated us from the driver, Noah pulled out a
bottle of beer.
I didnt take you for a beer man, I said.
I only drink it when no one is looking. Dont tell anyone.
Im looking.
He opened the bottle and took a sip. Youre not no one.
Thirsty, I went to grab a bottle for myself, but Noah put his arm out, blocking me. You shouldnt
drink. It impairs your judgement. If anything impairs your judgement, I want it to be me. When I didnt
respond, he added, And we still have work to do.
Remembering my notes, I settled back into the seat and returned to my tablet.
What do you think of my speech? Is it transparent enough? he asked.
For who?
For everyone at the convention, especially the medical community.
Briefly, I read through the shorthand of the speech, re-familiarizing myself with it. Its very technical.
I wasnt even sure what you were referring to half the time, and Im a scientist.
Its technical because the research is technical, Noah asserted.
I know, but you have to remember that the medical community is influenced by the needs and interests
of the general public. I would worry less about being transparent to doctors and surgeons and worry more
about the people who will be reading the newspapers the next day. With a breakthrough as big as this,
everyone will be talking about it. Your speech will probably be posted online. It could go viral. Direct
your focus on the everyday people. Make sure they understand the importance of the work. If you do that
well, then Stafford Scientific will forever be linked to nanotechnology, the way Cola and Pepsi are linked
to soda.
Taking my tablet from me, he scanned my notes. I see what youre saying. Ill have my writers fine-
tune the speech.
 I yawned, tired out by the drinks and the tension between us.
Ill get you home, Noah said and instructed the driver to take us to my apartment.
Are you going home too? I asked. Its after midnight. Youre off the clock.
Noah laughed. So I am. I think I will go home. For once.
When the driver pulled up outside my apartment building, I grabbed a bottle of beer and jumped out
before Noah could protest. As I walked up the steps to the building, I didnt turn around to see if hed left.
I knew he hadnt. I could feel his eyes on me, tracking me, making sure I was safe.
 CHAPTER FIVE

In the apartment, Julia was sound asleep on our large brown sofa. She was right. The sooner we added
some color, the better. We werent Noah. We shouldnt have to live by his tastes. We needed to express
our individuality. On the coffee table in front of the couch were numerous hamburger wrappers and a bag
that smelled like there was still food inside. Leaving the wrappers alone, I draped a knitted blanket over
my roomie, then went to the window and looked out across the city as I drank my beer.
It was past midnight. Like Noah, I was free to do what I wanted. I could return to the streets, follow
the city lights like a moth. This wasnt Milwaukee, where the breweries sent everyone home at the end of
the night. This was Chicago. It didnt sleep. It thrived in the night, and I felt its heat. The city called to me,
seducing me more than Noah ever could.
But that was probably just the beer talking, and my need to distract myself from the seed of doubt
Noah had planted in my mind about Corey. I wanted to believe it was another one of Noahs tactics, but
there was evidence that supported his claim that Corey wasnt coming back. Corey knew where I was, or
where I could be. He could contact the company to see if I was there. We could talk. We could, but we
didnt, because Corey hadnt made the effort to.
Maybe he only wanted me when I was lost, I thought, taking a sip of the beer. And now Im lost no
more.
On the couch, Julia turned and slowly sat up. Why does my breath taste like pickles? she moaned.
I think your darker side had a bit of a binge fest, I said, pointing to the hamburger wrappers. I wish
Id known. I would have joined you.
She groaned. I only order fast food when Im drunk and alone.
Youre not alone now. I sat on the couch beside her and offered her some of my beer.
No way, she declined. Im never drinking again. Until tomorrow. She looked at me uncertainly.
Did Mr. Stafford talk to you about anything interesting?
Just the nanotechnology. I guess that means I dont have to lick envelopes anymore, now that I have
clearance.
Good riddance. Id rather do the menial tasks. I dont want to be the one answering calls. I want to
be the one making calls. Until then, send the invitations my way. She tapped the arm of the couch as if she
was nervous. He didnt talk about anything else? Anything more personal?
No, I lied, twisting the beer bottle in my hand. I didnt want to tell her about Corey. Unwilling to
confront questions I didnt have the answers to, I preferred she believed Corey and I were just friends.
Brightening, she snatched the bag from the table and pulled out a hamburger, apparently pleased by my
reply. Do you want to split this?
I thought youd never ask. Ill take the side without the pickles. I hate pickles.
 Good, because I love them. A girl can never have enough pickles.
Famished, I tore into the hamburger, but as I ate, my mind kept wandering back to Corey. Maybe he
had been but a mere daydream. Thailand wasnt my reality. Eating hamburgers with a new friend, a new
sister that was real. My happiness couldnt depend on Corey. I had to be happy now. I had to free
myself from him.

***

Work the next day was fairly quiet. I was alone in the office. Noah was with Julia and his executives
within the business development department at a lecture at the local university. Some Nobel Laureate was
speaking. It would have been interesting, but I was excited to have the time to myself. With Noah silenced
during the lecture, unable to give his input on what was happening in the company, there wasnt much to
do. I wondered if he realized how counterproductive his need to control everything was.
It gave me the opportunity to explore the building. Many of the projects within the labs were
confidential, but there were a few I was allowed to see, including the nanorobotics, now that I had
clearance. In the nanotechnology lab, men and women in lab coats peered endlessly into bulky
microscopes. Because of their size, the robots couldnt be seen with the naked eye, but next to each
microscope was a hologram of what the scientists were looking at.
I knew holograms were real! I exclaimed. Busy with their work, no one noticed.
The robots were bulbous with hinged legs, like a cross between a squid and a spider. Their bellies
were their brain, providing them with the information needed to make their repairs. At one table within
the lab was a rat with a tumor on its side. I watched as a woman injected the rat with the robots.
The tumor is natural, she explained. Mr. Stafford insists we only experiment on rats that are
already deformed or diseased. Its the only way well know for sure that the robots will work on humans
who are affected by injury or illness.
I dually believe its also his way of being philanthropic, I stated.
I agree, she said as she measured another dose. One more injection should do it.
The poor rat was curled up, clearly frightened and in pain. How long does it take for the
nanotechnology to work? I asked.
A few days. Youre welcome to come back and check in on the little fellas progress.
Thank you. Ill do that, I promised and returned upstairs to my office to read up more on the
technology.
Later in the afternoon, there was a bang on the door. Come in, Peter! I hollered from my desk,
recognizing the pattern of his knock.
Special delivery, he said, carrying a picnic basket in with him. I hope you like chicken sandwiches
and cheddar soup.
I saved the paper I was reading and closed my laptop. Its my favorite, but something tells me you
knew that already. I stood and took the picnic basket from him. That was very thoughtful of you, Peter.
Thanks.
Dont thank me. Mr. Stafford organized it for you.
Ignoring how happy that made me, I invited Peter to join me. Are you busy?
Not at all. With Mr. Stafford gone, theres no one to attend to.
Then have lunch with me. The weight of this basket tells me you packed enough to feed an army.
 Guilty, he said, laughing. Excessiveness is the trademark of an overachiever.
We sat on the couches in the lounge area. How can you do this? I queried. How can you be a
butler? I know what you said about everyone having to start at the bottom to prove their loyalty, but youre
a kid genius. Isnt it demeaning?
Youre a personal assistant, Peter countered with a mouth full of chicken sandwich. Do you find it
demeaning?
I was desperate for a job. You probably have tons of opportunities waiting for you.
None that I want. I like working here. I dont mind Mr. Stafford testing my loyalty. Its a test that
comes with great reward. One day, Ill be head of one of the departments here, and thats when I can
apply my smarts. I want to help people the way Mr. Stafford does, use my superpowers for good.
Youre speaking my language, kid, I said. But you could have asked to be a personal assistant
instead of a butler.
Peter almost choked on his food. No, he said, his eyes wide. I dont roll that way.
I was confused by his reaction. Roll what way? You dont think guys can answer phones?
Of course they can, but Mr. Stafford has a reputation never mind. Its not my place to say. Im very
happy being his butler. Lets leave it at that.
He quickly redirected the conversation. Being a butler gives me a lot of free time. When Im not
attending to his guests or to him, I work on my PhD. In a way, I think thats why Mr. Stafford asked me to
be his butler. He doesnt want too much responsibility on my shoulders. Hes trying to give me the time to
study and to work.
I get it, but the rules we have to follow are absurd, dont you think?
He grinned. I dont know how you can complain. You break the rules all the time. How do you get
away with not calling him sir?
I refuse to. Hes not a king.
He is here. This company is his kingdom.
Well, hes not the king of me. I wont call him sir. Its wrong, and its weird. Im friends with his
brother.
Peter wiggled his eyebrows up and down. Good friends.
I laughed and threw a piece of lettuce at him. Thats none of your business, but dont tell anyone.
I wont, he vowed. Im surprised to hear he has a brother. The Staffords are super wealthy. A few
years ago, Mr. Staffords parents moved to New York after buying a mansion near Central Park, but they
keep to themselves. Theyre not in the public eye as much as Mr. Stafford is, but he only talks about his
work, never his personal life. Id heard a rumor that there was a sibling floating around, but I didnt think
it was true.
A twin brother, no less.
His eyes went wide. Do you think one could be the clone of the other? Or what if theyre both clones,
and the real Stafford son is hiding away somewhere.
I thought the same thing! I exclaimed. Its hard not to be suspicious when you work in a company
like this.
Whats his brother like? Peter asked, returning to his sandwich.
Hes impassioned. In that way, Noah and Corey are the same, except Corey shouts his feelings out
loud while Noah keeps his locked inside.
Id like to meet Corey. Does he plan on visiting anytime soon?
Looking down, I set my sandwich aside, no longer hungry. I honestly dont know what Coreys plans
are.
Julia is pretty amazing, isnt she? Peter asked, his eyes full of adoration.
Peter, shes like five years older than you.
Age is only a number, he protested.
I think it would be a problem for her, I said, worrying my bottom lip, unwilling to hurt his feelings.
But Ill help you find someone just as smart and beautiful.
He accepted my offer. I like Julia, but I also like redheads, like me. Do you think thats odd?
Redheads are very attractive. I think it would be odd not to like them, I assured him and picked up
my sandwich once more.

***

Its as if the last year meant nothing, Julia babbled as she stormed into the office, her bad mood evident
in her scowl. She threw her bag down on her chair and paced in front of her desk, shaking her head.
Did Mr. Stafford upset you? I asked, hoping I didnt make it worse.
No. I upset myself. I should have known better. Its time to move on. Thats for sure.
Sometimes his demands are impossible, I said, trying to comfort her. He expects so much from us,
but he has so little to give in return, except for a healthy paycheck.
She stopped pacing. You really dont know the full extent of it, do you? she asked with what could
only be pity. I hope you never do.
Why dont we get a drink? I encouraged. In a couple of hours, well be finished here. Lets go
drink mojitos and dance our blues away. I have a great recipe for a Thai mojito. Its made with
lemongrass and
She cut me off. Im forbidden to drink. And so are you. Its a new rule.
My mouth dropped open. Closed. Opened again. W-we can get a drink after midnight, I sputtered.
Were off the clock then.
No, weve been forbidden to drink at all. He doesnt want either of us to touch it.
He cant do that! I cried. Lets be rogues. When we get home, Im going to make us the best damn
mojitos weve ever had.
Julia pointed to the door that divided our office from his. Are you going to tell him? Because Im not.
Im not pushing anything until Im out of here.
But youre only moving to a different department. Cant he still forbid you to drink?
She looked down. As soon as Im in a new department, he wont care what I do outside company
hours. Thats the way the rotation works.
That doesnt mean he has to be a jerk until you go.
She sighed and slumped into her chair. I dont really want to talk about it. She took a deep breath,
composing herself, and then she flashed me her Work Julia smile. Are you excited for the World Science
Convention?
 Theres not really anything to be excited about. Ill be run around ragged. I lifted my foot off the
floor. Youll have to massage my flippers when I get home.
You wont be coming home. Mr. Stafford, Peter, and you will be staying at the hotel where the
convention is being held. That way, theres no issues with transportation. Youll be right there. Then
theres the gala. Mr. Stafford always takes his personal assistant as his date to the gala. People think its
charity, those who dont know.
You mean those who dont know what a tyrant he can be? I asked. Its no charity. Its a mandate.
Did you go with him last year?
It was in Rio de Janeiro, and it was amazing. Brazil is such a beautiful country. And hot. For
emphasis, she fanned herself.
I guess I should start looking for a dress, I mused.
No need. Mr. Stafford will have a dress waiting for you in your room at the hotel. Her eyes lit up,
matching my mischievousness from before. But were in charge of booking the room. I already did,
before you arrived. The room is pretty boring because I didnt know how awesome you are, but
reservations can be changed. Like a frog catching a fly, she grabbed her phone from her desk.
Julia, what are you doing?
She ignored me. Hello, this is Mr. Staffords office calling. Wed like to change around a few of our
reservations for the convention. Please upgrade Imogen Clare to the best suite you have.
Anticipating disaster, I ran over to her and tried to grab the phone from her hand, but she was too
nimble, sliding easily from my grasp. Julia, no, I protested.
Holding a hand up, she continued her conversation with the hotel. Yes, your most expensive suite. I
understand many are sold out, just give her whats available. And make sure theres a bottle of champagne
waiting.
Giving in to the inevitable, I whispered for her to do the same for Peter, which she did.
Yes, thats all, she said gleefully into the phone. Thats great. Thanks. Bye bye.
I cant believe you did that! I cried. You are so scandalous. Noah Mr. Stafford is going to be
so mad.
He probably wont even notice. Dont worry about it. You and Peter go have fun. Its the least you
can do for putting up with him. Frowning, she suddenly went quiet.
Julia, what is it? I asked, gripping her hands.
Nothing, she said, a bright smile plastered on her face, but she remained quiet for the rest of the day.

***

Sitting in my daisy-covered hatchback, I flicked the elephant trinket tied to my rearview mirror. An
elephant never forgets. I was like that. Unable to forget about Thailand or Corey. When the elephant
stopped swinging, I examined a map of the parks around Chicago. The environment called to me. I needed
green, and I needed water. Locating a park on the map that boasted trees and an antique fountain, I went.
Under a pink sky, the last of the day illuminated the park. Children had gone home to their dinners.
Joggers had already finished their run. A few couples meandered the tree-lined paths with me, but the
park was mostly abandoned. I followed the signs to the fountain, but when I reached it, my spirits sunk
with disappointment.
The fountain had a simple elegance, reminding me of a stonework wedding cake, but it was dried-out
and covered in moss. Shaking away the setback, I pulled a penny from my pocket. Wishes didnt need
water, just hope. I threw the penny in and listened to it clatter against the stone.
You know theres no water in the fountain, Noah said, walking towards me in the fading sun. It was
strange to see him outside in the daylight. He was like a vampire, remaining indoors during the day, only
emerging at night. The daylight befitted him. It brought out a lightness in him that I wasnt sure even he
knew he possessed.
I hate that you can track me so easily, I complained.
Its not midnight.
Im aware, but that doesnt mean my privacy shouldnt be respected when Im not in the office.
Im watching out for you, he maintained. Youll realize it, one day. What did you wish for?
That you wouldnt track me, I joked.
He moved beside me so that we were shoulder to shoulder facing the fountain, like lovers planning
their future. My heart racing, I pushed away the wish for him to wrap his arm around me, to take comfort
in his strength.
What else? he asked.
You dont want to know.
Try me.
I looked at him. For your brother to return, I said honestly.
I see, he said somberly. Will you allow me to take you somewhere?
Its before midnight. Can I say no?
Youre always allowed to say no. But this has nothing to do with work. Its personal, and it requires
a small drive out of the city. Will you come?
Trying to read his eyes, I gave up and agreed. Ill come. I was intrigued. Besides Julia and Peter, I
didnt know many people. I couldnt give in to the attraction between Noah and me, but there was the
potential for us to be friends. And we had Corey in common. That was important.
Leaving the park, I headed towards my hatchback, foolishly expecting Noah to follow, but he gently
guided me towards the company car. I know youre adventurous, but Im not. Theres no way in hell Im
getting into that rust bucket, not when we have a chauffeur.
We drove, trading the city and its parks for open fields filled with herds of cattle that roamed as free
as the elephants in the jungle. Passing through a suburban neighborhood with one street but lots of activity,
we turned up a hillside and parked along a tall iron fence. Behind the fence was a country manor that
stood four stories high. With its rose-colored stone, it would have been magnificent, but it was in
disrepair. Weeds were overgrown throughout the lawn, and ivy had crept up the side of the old stone,
prying some shutters from their windows. It was a beautiful sadness.
Stafford Estate, Noah revealed. Our childhood home.
What happened to it? I asked.
My parents moved to New York, and Coreys always traveling. I prefer the city, so no one comes
here.
I wanted to get out and explore, but Noah locked the doors. Im not here to give you a tour, he said.
This is a lesson. The state of the place shows you how often Corey visits. He has this entire manor that
he can use for himself, and he doesnt.
 And you dont like that, I observed, reading his tone.
Of course I dont. He spoke as if it were obvious. Our parents werent exactly hands-on, and the
nanny who raised us died long ago. Corey is the only family I have that matters.
Then why are you so touchy feely with me? Why do you risk dividing your relationship further?
He leaned closer. Because I know with absolute certainty that hes not coming back. He has never
come back. He sent you to me for a reason, you know.
My heart squeezed. I was so stupid. Oh.
Noah lifted my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes again. Hope is foolish. It can rot the soul. Whatever
promises he made to you, he wont keep them. I dont say this for my sake. I say it for yours. You deserve
more than what my brother can offer you.
Like what you can offer me?
No, I cant give you what you deserve either. His speech was impassive, but his eyes sparkled with
profound desire, captivating me, telling me everything he wanted to do to me. I cant give you a long-
term commitment, but I can drown you in pleasure. If you agree to a year with me, a year where we
remain loyal to each other, I will awaken your body in ways you cant even begin to imagine.
My insides pulsing wildly, my core betrayed my heart. I was tempted. The air in Chicago was
different from anywhere else. Every time I breathed it in, I became a part of its heat, a secret fire that
smoldered beneath its gray skies and blazed in the black of the night. Imagining the heat caressing my
body, I was speechless.
Noah took advantage of this. Lightly brushing his thumb across my cheek, he held my gaze, ensuring I
listened carefully to everything he had to say. The expensive cologne he wore invigorated my senses,
made me want to press my body against his until I wore it too.
Were going to make another stop, he told me. Dont be frightened. No one will hurt you. I wont
hurt you. Just open your mind and if you feel like it, let your body follow.
 CHAPTER SIX

Back in the city, Noah escorted me to the VIP section of a club that was nothing short of an underground
extravaganza. On a rounded dance floor, people danced beneath flashing lights, their bodies throbbing
with the beat of the music, a flush in their skin from their exertion. There was a freedom in the way they
moved, as if every thigh, every hip on the dance floor was fair game, their dance a sweet corruption.
Contortionists painted like neon dragons stood on platforms around the floor and spewed fire as they
twisted in erotic shapes that made my bones hurt and caused the muscles deep within me to pulse.
Watch carefully, Noah said from our table on a balcony above the floor. Tell me what you see.
Nothing unusual, I replied, acutely aware of his breath on my neck. People are randomly making
out. Theres a girl in a pink wig who only just came in, and shes already got her tongue down a guys
throat, but that happens in every club. I squinted, trying to find them. Actually, theyre gone.
Where do you think they went? he asked, his lips close to my flesh, my pulse.
I didnt care about anyone else in the club, only Noah and what he could do to me. Home? I guessed
hoarsely, my throat dry with longing.
No, he said. Not home. Theyre still here. Look again.
I noticed it then. In a crescent around the dance floor were thick purple curtains. They went behind
the curtains. Where do they lead?
To more girls in pink wigs, Noah told me, setting his hand just above the back of my dress, as if he
were about to unzip it. To more throats. Like a feather, his touch slid around my neck, then fell down to
my shoulder, left bare by my sleeveless dress. To more everything.
It hit me. This is a sex club!
Only if you want it to be, he said, his voice as deep and penetrating as a canyon, inviting me into the
night.
I bit my lip, fighting between the will of my body and the will of my mind. I dont think I want to be
here, I said, wanting to step away but rooted to the spot.
This is Chicago. This is the city, Noah coaxed. Let me show you the joys hidden within those
curtains. We can leave whenever you want.
Feeding off of his intensity, allowing it to control me, I agreed, and he led me to a gold curtain
upstairs near our table. Behind it were more curtains a hall full of tapestries hanging on the walls, like
an Arabian bazaar. Each was unique, varied in color and embroidery.
Pick one, Noah prompted, his hand on my upper back, fingering the strands of hair at the nape of my
neck. Which one speaks to you the most?
This one, I said, patting an orange tapestry with lotus flowers imprinted onto it. The fabric was
smooth, as if it were woven with pure silk and not the wool it was actually comprised of.
 Noah lifted it up, revealing a door, in front of which he scanned a card from his pocket. Its still
fresh, untouched, he informed me.
The door opened to a whitewashed room showered in real lotus blossoms, their pink petals folded
upright like spiky floral carousals on a bleached sea. There was no furniture, just the flowers and us. We
could be anywhere. Thinking back to the comics Id read growing up, I imagined I was in a whole new
reality, a parallel universe, one in which Id never met Corey in Thailand, that Id only ever known Noah
and was free to give myself to him without remorse.
Good choice, he praised feverishly, standing behind me, tracing his hands down my arms and my
hips, around my ass, which he cupped and squeezed, rousing all areas around it to pulse with the same
fervor as the music outside.
Drunk by his touch, I shifted my weight, making my curves more accessible to him, enjoying the way
my ass pressed into his manhood, which was hard and erect through the slacks of his suit. He kissed my
shoulders as he ran his hand across my jaw then gripped my neck, clutching me, claiming me.
You must do as I say, he said between kisses. This wont work unless you do as I say.
Unable to answer, I writhed with longing, responsive to his hand stroking my throat like a light breeze,
sending vibrations of joy down to my core.
What will you do? he questioned smoothly, like caramel, his lips joining his hand, kissing the side
of my throat.
As you say. My voice was gravel in comparison, heavy with the ache of my need.
Good. Now we can begin.
Moving languidly, he began to unzip my dress, but I tensed, suddenly very much aware of what was
about to happen. Wait, I pleaded, regaining control of my speech, conflicted once more. Im not sure I
can do this.
To assure me I could, he removed his suit jacket and his tie, leaving only his dress shirt, which
showed off the resilience of his arms, and his slacks, which did little to cover the hardness of his desire.
Now you.
Weakened by the chisel of his body, I let my dress fall to the floor and kicked it away with my shoes,
leaving me in only my lace panties and bra as I stood amongst the lotus blossoms.
Lie down, he commanded, and I obeyed, stretching out on the floor, which was surprisingly warm
and shook with the beat of the music that penetrated the club, sending small vibrations across my spine.
Kneeling beside me, Noah picked up a blossom and used it to become acquainted with my body. With
the softest touch, he stroked it across the bulge of my breasts, over my navel, and down my thighs to my
feet, charging every cell it glided over. The contrast between the vibrations in the floor and the gentleness
of the blossom caused me to soar. With every trace of the petals on my skin, my breath quickened, and my
insides turned sodden, anticipating what would come when Noah exchanged the blossom with his own
touch, his lips, his cock. Imagining it, I squirmed, budding.
Remain still or Ill make you, he demanded, licking his lips, enflaming my desire for him.
Dropping the blossom, he picked up my foot and massaged it, his hands blissfully forceful. He moved
up my calf, caressing my skin, and onto my thighs, inching closer to the one place I wanted him to touch
the most.
Show me how you beg.
Beg?
 At first, I didnt understand, and then I did. My head warred with my body even as I moved to my
knees, facing him. Holding my wrists out, I looked up at him, my eyes sealed to his, completely at his
mercy. Mimicking the gentleness of the blossom, he moved the chestnut waves of my hair off my shoulder
and kissed my neck, sending a shiver through my veins. I preferred his lips. They were warm and
amorous, capable of bringing me unlimited pleasure.
His kisses reached my chest. As he nuzzled the flesh just above my collarbone, he reached under my
bra and cupped my breasts, his hand claiming me. I moaned, the heat in my body rising as we pressed
together, like liquid metal longing to meld.
Needing more of him, I unbuttoned his shirt, half-blind by my lust, and ran my hands along the muscles
of his chest.
There are no tattoos.
Pushing the thought away, I left his shirt alone and wrapped my hands around his neck. The kisses on
my throat turned fervid, bruising my skin while electrifying my body. He reached behind my back and
unhooked my bra, freeing my nipples for him to play with.
But he has no tattoos.
I cant, I gasped, pushing him away.
You can, he urged feverishly, but I held a hand out, creating a barrier between us.
What have I done? If Corey finds out
I shook the thought away. Nothing really happened. We hadnt even kissed. Not kissing made it
forgivable, a moment of indiscretion. Even though I owed Corey nothing, I surely owed him more than
this. I crawled across the floor and reached for my clothes. Its not right.
It feels right to me, Noah persisted. I want you, Imogen. Let me have you. Let me rule you. Let me
awaken you.
Please, I begged, hugging my clothes, tears of confusion and denial threatening to spill. Please, just
take me home.
We stood together. Dont be upset, he said, caressing my cheek. You did nothing wrong. Well
leave. His thumb went across my lower lip. You owe him nothing.
I gasped. Was he able to read my mind?
Wanting to get as far away from the club as possible, I hurried across the dance floor as soon as I was
dressed, pushing out of the door. Id only made it a few steps when I tripped over the bottom of a barrier
post and went crashing to the ground. Noah was instantly by my side to help me up.
Are you okay? he asked.
Im fine! I snapped, not meaning to be so abrasive. Im fine, I repeated more calmly. I just want
to get out of here.
Before I could break down in front of everyone, Noah picked me up into his arms and carried me back
to the car. We rode in silence until we reached my apartment. When the driver opened the door for us,
Noah got out first then offered me his hand.
I dont need your help. I can manage on my own.
I told my brother I would watch out for you, and thats exactly what I plan to do, no matter what does
or does not happen between us.
Looking up at him, I rubbed a scrape on my palm. As long as you accept that you wont be staying
over.
 I wont be so mistaken. He grinned and held his hand out to me again. Let me be a gentleman and
lend my arm to a damsel who has what looks like could very well be a sprained ankle.
With my ankle starting to swell, I couldnt refuse his chivalry, but I wouldnt let him carry me. Instead,
he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and acted as my crutch. I was comfortable beneath his arm,
which made everything much more complicated.
As soon as we stepped into my apartment, I wished I hadnt let Noah be a gentleman. I should have
sent him away. If I had, then we never would have interrupted Julia making out with a dark-haired hottie
on our couch, their bodies so intermingled that neither of them heard us come in.
Noah stormed over to the couch, grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt, and pushed him towards
the door, exerting a strength I knew he possessed but had never seen.
What the hell? the man griped. Who the fuck do you think you are?
Let me tell you who I fucking am. Im the billionaire who bought this apartment. I command every
inch of this place, including the women who live here. Leave before I throw you out the window and
watch you fall.
Noah! I reprimanded, ignoring the pain in my ankle.
You cant do this! Julia yelled. Leave him alone!
I will, as soon as he disappears, Noah seethed.
Im outta here, the man muttered, backing away. He looked past Noah towards Julia. Ill see you
soon, baby, he said and ran out the door.
What the hell was that all about, I demanded, more overwhelmed than ever. Why would you care if
Julia was making out with another guy?
He doesnt care about the guy, Julia said, her anger boiling off of her. He cares that Im his
property. And no one touches Noah Staffords property.
You agreed to my terms, Noah reminded her.
You havent come near me since shes been here, Julia countered. Scratch that. You havent looked
my way since I gave you her file. You were obsessed with Imogen before you even met her.
I reached my breaking point. My voice rose, matching the volume of those around me. Someone
explain to me what the hell all of this is about. Now!
Julias demeanor changed. Her eyes sparkled with an icy vengeance. Ill tell you exactly what this is
about. When Noah hires a personal assistant, its not just so she can answer his calls and schedule his
meetings and book his flights. He thinks of himself as some sort of teacher. After you become his personal
assistant, he convinces you to make an agreement outside your contract. Youre loyal to him. Hes loyal to
you. And you express that loyalty in the bedroom. And when your year is over, you move on to a better
department, and he moves on to a better fuck.
I felt ill. Thats what tonight was all about? I demanded of Noah, full of accusation. You wanted
me to agree to some sort of game you play with your personal assistants?
Julia answered for him. It was probably the first time anyone had answered for him. Oh, its not a
game to him. Its a lesson.
I waited for Noah to speak, but he refused, his jaw clenched.
You cant treat women like that, I professed, indignant. I thought you were virtuous, like your
brother. I thought you wanted to help people because you cared about them. I never imagined you thought
yourself so much higher than everyone around you that you would treat them like trash.
 I never treated anyone like trash! Noah roared, losing his composure, showing his creases. It was
the most emotion Id seen from him. I never force my personal assistants to do anything they dont want
to. I dont mess with their heads. Ive had plenty of assistants whove turned me down, and I respected
that.
I turned you down, I reminded him. And you continued to pursue me.
Because we have a connection. You know it, and I know it. But I would never let you do something
you didnt want to. The moment I felt I was pushing the line, I would have backed off.
No, you wouldnt have, Julia challenged. I see the way you look at her. This goes beyond a mere
infatuation. You want her more than youve ever wanted anyone before.
You will not speak again in my presence tonight, Noah ordered her.
She can speak whenever the hell she wants, I defended. Its time for you to leave.
Not like this. Not until you let me explain.
What more is there to explain? I shook my head. No, Ive heard enough. It is what it is. Now go.
Before I throw you out of the window and watch you fall.

***

After tossing in bed all night, it was a relief when the sun finally peeked in through the window. Knowing
I had no other choice, I pulled my suitcases down from my closet and began to pack. There was no way I
could continue to work at Stafford Scientific. The whole damn thing had gotten too messy. I would go
back to Milwaukee, I would find a job flipping burgers, and I would be happy because I would be settled.
If my time in Chicago had taught me anything, it was that I really did want the peace that came with
settling down. That was probably why Id waited so anxiously for Corey. I thought he could be the one I
could settle down with. My new family. But neither of the Stafford brothers had proved trustworthy.
Corey clearly wasnt going to keep his promise to find me, and Noah had no intentions of committing
himself to anyone. They were both playboys who fished for women, caught them on the end of their hooks
for fun, then dropped them back in the water.
As soon as everything I owned had been stuffed into my suitcases, I wheeled them out into the front
room, planning to leave a note for Julia, who I assumed was still sleeping. I froze when I saw her,
standing near the couch with her own set of baggage.
Why are you all packed up? I asked.
Why are you all packed up? she returned.
Im leaving.
So am I.
I sighed. Maybe neither of us should leave until weve had a cup of coffee. Would you like one?
Her fingers pressed into her temples. I would kill for one. I couldnt sleep.
Neither could I. Thats what happens when you find out that not only is your boss a tyrant, but hes a
super tyrant.
Julia fell down onto the couch, her arms flopping by her side, and yet she still managed to look
elegant. The problem is, Mr. Stafford really isnt such a tyrant. Im as much to blame as he is. I knew
what I was getting into. As a consenting adult, I didnt feel at all manipulated or pressured. It was made
very clear to me that I could end the agreement at any time. Because loyalty is part of the agreement, I just
assumed that since he had moved on to you, that it was over.
 Putting the conversation on pause, I went to the kitchen, chose a hazelnut flavored coffee, and flipped
the machine on, stalling for time. Neither of us could act irrationally. Julia had sacrificed a year of her life
to work as a personal assistant, a job she was way overqualified for. I had nothing left in Milwaukee to
return to. I had found my new family, not with Corey but with Julia, my sister. It broke my heart to imagine
us fleeing in opposite directions.
I still dont understand his outburst last night, I said, carrying our coffees over to the couch.
Eagerly, Julia took hers. Mr. Stafford feels the need to control everyone. Its in his nature. I know I
sound like Im trying to defend him, and Im not, his behavior was inexcusable, but sometimes I think the
reason he feels like he has to exert so much control is because theres something in this life that he feels
really helpless over.
What makes you say that?
I dont know. Womens intuition.
I sat on the couch beside her. What are we going to do? This is so messed up.
I know what Im going to do. Im going back to Boston, and Ill use my connections at Harvard to
find another job. The way I spoke to him last night, hell never forgive me for that. The best thing for me
is to resign.
Do you love him? I asked, hoping she would forgive my forwardness.
No. I dont love him. I never did. Hes a jerk, but he still has a way of making you care about him.
Ive never known a man so gorgeous, so steady, and yet so lonely.
I understood loneliness.
You should stay, Julia insisted. He knows now that the line has been crossed. I dont think you
have anything to worry about. Youre strong. You can handle it.
Promise me you wont leave yet, I begged her, forming a plan. Please just wait here. Dont go yet.
Before she could protest, I flew out the door and drove straight to the company. On the top floor, I
stormed into Noahs office, expecting to wait on the couch until he arrived, but he was already there,
going over his schedule on his wall of screens.
I guess its business as usual for you, I sniped.
He didnt seem at all put off by my temper, returning to his cool exterior, as if the previous night had
never happened. My employees have families they need to feed. Work doesnt stop because youre angry
at me.
Dont fire Julia, I demanded.
I didnt plan to.
I studied him, trying to figure him out. You understand that Julia cant be your personal assistant
anymore, dont you? Shes humiliated. You need to give her the promotion. Now instead of later.
He turned away from the wall. Let me make one thing clear, Imogen. No one tells me what to do in
my own company. He stepped closer to me, his eyes seeming to sear through my soul. But I can see how
much Julia means to you, so Ill allow her to transfer whenever she chooses, but only if you trade me
something for it.
I almost stomped my foot. I couldnt believe him. Youve gotten all youre going to get out of me. Im
not interested.
Not that. I want your loyalty. Dont leave. Ill let Julia have her promotion, but only if you stay.
 I stared at him, trying to read between his lines, but he was as closed as Id ever seen him. I can do
that, I said finally.
Good, because I already sent her an email with a copy of her transfer. I never intended on letting her
go. Her mind is too valuable to this company.
I exhaled, feeling a fraction of the tension inside me slide away. So Julia has her job?
Yes. My business people will be expecting her to call in tomorrow. I told her she could have today
off.
Then were okay, I said, trying to maintain my standing. Ill stay, and Julia will stay, and
everything will be very professional.
Returning to his wall, Noah smiled. Until you give in to the inevitable.
Im going to pretend you didnt say that.
Ignoring that I still wore flannel pajamas, I went into my office before the stitches of our relationship
opened up.
For reasons I wouldnt admit, I could no longer tolerate the red in the office. It glared at me like an
angry bull. Ignoring how tired I was, I went to my laptop and spent most of the morning picking out new
furniture. Then, thinking it only fair after Noahs behavior last night, I also used the company credit card
to purchase yellow and aqua curtains and a rug for the apartment, the color template Julia and I had
agreed to the night of our drinks in the blues bar. If Noah was going to take liberties, so was I.
Against my will, I looked towards the door, wondering if he would come through, but he never did.
Its only because he looks like Corey, I told myself. Corey is the one I want, not his domineering
brother.
And yet, I continued to look towards the door.
 CHAPTER SEVEN

Scratch tickets lay across the floor at my grandmas house. As I scribbled on the back of one, a pizza in
one hand, a crayon in the other, I was filled with a childlike whimsy. My grandma sat on the couch beside
me watching an old Western on television, cotton stuck between her toes as her polish dried.
You know what the thing is about these Westerns, she said aloud, talking to no one in particular.
The bad guys, they arent always so bad. And the good guys, they arent always so good. Thats life. We
all have our own reasons for doing stuff.
Suddenly, the house began to shake, and the scratch tickets flew around the front room as if trapped in
a tornado. I tried to run to my grandma, but the house crumbled on top of us before I could.
Gasping, I woke with a start, my hand over my heart, sweat streaming down my brow. I was safe, but I
was still caught in the dream. Outside my apartment, the wind howled, beating against my window like a
bat hitting a baseball.
Wrapping myself in a blanket, I went into the front room, frightened by the ferocity of the wind. I
wasnt alone. Julia sat on the couch, sheltered in her own blanket.
Ive never seen it so bad, she said. We get windstorms, but not like this.
At the window, I looked down upon the street. Litter was tossed around by the gales, rising almost as
high as our apartment. Branches from the trees that lined the street shook, releasing their foliage all over
the ground. I wouldnt be surprised if, come morning, some of those trees had toppled over.
Ill make us some cocoa, I decided. I know its not the season for cocoa, but its comforting.
I wont argue with you there, Julia said. Cocoa sounds perfect right now.
An hour later, we still sat in the front room, our mugs empty, the electricity of the storm and the roar of
the wind making it impossible to sleep.
How is the new department going? I asked her.
Her eyes lit up. Wonderful. They really respect me, and its such a joy to actually be able to apply my
degree. I have a lot to offer, and now I get to do just that.
Have you talked to Mr. Stafford?
No. I told you, once youre gone, you mean nothing more to him. How is it going for you up there all
alone? she asked with concern.
Ive got Peter, but its lonely without you. Thankfully, Mr. Stafford and Ive reached some sort of
homeostasis. He messages me when he needs something, and I get it done. Its a strictly professional
relationship. If Im being totally honest, I kind of miss the friendship that we were starting to build.
Julia tapped the side of her mug. In an effort to be a truly supportive friend, I feel I should say
something to you. If you ever did want to extend your agreement with Mr. Stafford, I wont judge you.
How could I judge you? I understand the enticement of it all, especially when youre new to the city.
 I bristled a bit. Ive lived in the city before.
But not this one. And you know theres more to the agreement than just the lessons he tries to teach
you. When you agree to be loyal to him, he treats you like a queen. On one of our dates, he took me to a
Red Sox game in Boston, and I got to meet the players.
I appreciated Julia telling me that. I would never admit to her, but my intrigue of all the promises
Noah made had not diminished. My darker, more sensual side was being drawn out by him, and he had
barely even touched me. With his perfect body and his designer suits and his fast lifestyle, he was hard to
resist. As the days passed, I began to wonder if he was right when he claimed the ultimate freedom was to
live without the burden of choice, no longer tormented by insecurity or indecision.
So when did nerds get so good-looking? Julia asked, changing the subject before it got awkward. I
went down to analyze the market value of a new unbreakable beaker for high school science labs, and
man did I choose the wrong department. Lab technicians are hotties.
Thats because theyre all so stylish underneath their lab coats. Everyone looks better with style.
Says the girl wearing pajamas covered in a Japanese cartoon.
Anime is my style. I pulled at a thread on my pajamas, contemplative. If a new department doesnt
open up thats more suited to me, then research is probably where Ill request to go when my year as an
assistant is over. Id like to develop something useful for the environment.
She grinned. As long as whatever you develop makes the company a lot of money, you have the
approval of my department.
A formidable burst of wind shook the apartment, causing a few pans in the kitchen to topple over, the
bang of their fall like echoing thunder.
Are we safe up here? I asked, pulling my blanket closer.
I want to believe so, Julia said. But I think Ill sleep out here for the rest of the night.
Me too, I decided, and we arranged it so that we were both stretched out on the couch, her head at
one end, mine at the other.
Julia laughed. Look at us. Arent we a couple of old grandmas.
With a comedy playing on the television in the background, it didnt take long for Julia to drift off. She
kept laughing in her sleep, for reasons I doubted had much to do with a comedy invading her dreams. She
was happy. Being promoted suited her. She was where she belonged.
I thought of Noah again. I hadnt actually seen him in two weeks. We only communicated through
messages on my wrist device. It was probably one of his games. He was ignoring me to catch my interest.
It was working.

***

The microchip in my arm didnt work. I ran it in front of the door to Noahs office, my white dress
reflected in the solid gold sheathing, but it wouldnt scan. None of the doors that led me to Noah were
willing to open.
Noah, I called, knocking on the door. It hurt my knuckles. Let me in. I want to talk to you. You cant
avoid me forever.
Hes not in, Peter said, coming up behind me. He hasnt been in all week.
Is that normal? I asked.
 Not for him.
Maybe hes traveling, I speculated.
Peter didnt think so. If he were, wed both be traveling with him.
Worried, I knocked on the door again, knowing it would do no good, stopping only when a shrill
alarm sounded throughout the building. Instantly, I covered my ears, protecting them from the horrendous
noise.
What is that? I asked, shouting over the alarm. Did one of the monster robots get loose?
Its an emergency drill, Peter informed me. Itll be over in a second, followed by a message.
The alarm did stop, but there was only silence afterwards. Peter frowned. Thats strange. Theres
usually a message from you. The personal assistant.
Me?
Moving quickly, I went to my office and scanned my tablet. Sure enough, there was a message from
Noah telling me to send everyone home.
Its no drill. Its real. Hes worried about the storm. Why didnt he forward the message to my wrist
device? I muttered. And who activated the alarm? Why didnt they tell me Noah had sent us a
message?
Mr. Stafford has remote access to everything in his company. Wherever he is, hes probably the one
who set off the alarm.
None of this had been part of my training. What do I do? I asked Peter, frantic. I need your smarts,
boy genius.
He went to Julias desk and looked around. There must be an intercom around here somewhere.
An intercom seems a little old-fashioned in a place like this.
Youre right, girl genius, he said with the excitement of someone who had just discovered a new
species. Returning to me, he took the tablet out of my hand. The reason you didnt get the message on
your wrist device is probably because its not linked to the app that systemizes the emergency alarm. An
oversight, really.
He swiped the screen a few times. Youll probably get a bonus if you bring it to Mr. Staffords
attention, like the big internet companies who pay people who find flaws in their programming. There.
He handed my tablet back to me.
An app for the emergency alarm dominated the screen. Above a copy of the message Noah had sent
was a flashing red button. As a test, I pressed it, sounding the alarm once more. When it died down, I
made my announcement, using the microphone of the tablet. Attention, please, I said tentatively.
An image of Julia popped up, and I realized that while I spoke, it was her image and voice
broadcasting throughout the company.
I continued. Last nights tempest is predicted to elevate to one of the worst category storms in recent
history. Please safely secure your work and proceed home. Under the advice of our mayor, do not leave
your home until it is safe. You will receive a message when Stafford Scientific reopens.
Finished, I hit the button to repeat the message every ten minutes and set the tablet down. It sounds
pretty serious.
Peter looked terrified. Stafford Scientific has never been shut down before. From my understanding,
the lights have never turned off, not since Mr. Stafford founded the company. Whatever is about to hit us, it
must be big for the doors to close.
 That explains why the app was hidden away. Its probably only ever been used as a drill. I reached
into my bag and pulled out my keys. Do you have a way to contact Julia?
He nodded. I can contact anyone.
I handed Peter a key. Before the storm gets worse, I want you to go to Milwaukee. Youll be safer
there than you will here. Take Julia and whoever else you can find. You can stay at my grandmas house.
Just dont destroy anything. There are some precious relics of hers in there. And if you find any winning
scratch tickets, theyre mine. I gave him the address.
What about you? he asked, tucking the key into his pocket.
I shoved him toward the elevator. I might be down later. I have something I want to do first.

***

Once again, I stood outside Noahs door, but this time, it was to his penthouse apartment. Id had packages
couriered here but had never been myself. My name was familiar to the concierge, likely because of the
packages, so Id been allowed up the elevator, but the door was still a barrier between me and the man I
was certain was behind it. A giant, in his own way.
Evidently, Stafford Scientific had not been responsible for the design of the building. A plain looking
buzzer with a security camera was fixed outside his apartment. I pressed the buzzer, but no one answered.
I tried knocking, but that didnt work either.
Open sesame! I shouted. Nothing. Open sesame! I tried again. Still nothing.
Defeated, I turned to walk away, but my instincts pricked at me. They were on high drive, feeding off
the storm.
Maybe the ordinary looking buzzer is a decoy.
On a whim, I scanned my arm beneath the security camera. Like magic, the door slid open.
Noah! I called out as I entered. Noah, its Imogen. Are you here?
The place was massive, like a labyrinth, filled with rooms with unknown purposes. African masks
were the sole occupants of one room. Another contained a single piece of art. Like his office and my
apartment, the penthouse was contemporary, comprised of as much bare space as it had furnishings.
Noah! I called again.
Eventually, I found him. Covered in sweat and moaning in his sleep, he lay on a leather couch. Heavy
curtains were tightly shut, denying light into the room, which had no television or technology of any sort
that I could see, only a fireplace and photos of his family.
Noah, I whispered, kneeling beside him. Despite the fact that he was dressed in slacks and a black
dress shirt, he looked ill. Checking for a fever, I placed the back of my hand on his forehead, which woke
him.
Imogen. You shouldnt be here, he said. It sounded like it was a struggle for him to speak. Go
home.
I didnt budge. Have you been to the doctor?
He visits daily. Ill be fine. Its just the flu.
A bad flu from the looks of it. Is this why youve been out sick?
He lifted a hand to his head pressing his fingertips into his forehead. I havent been out sick. Ive
been home, but Ive been working.
 Yeah, I got your messages. You should have told someone. Believe it or not, the company can run a
few days without you.
He winced, covering his eyes. I dont want it to.
I shook my head. It doesnt matter. Whens the last time youve eaten?
I dont remember.
A gust of wind whipped against the building, making the photos on the wall shake. It looked like it
pained him to do so, but Noah sat up. How bad is it out there?
Pretty bad. Im glad your building has underground parking. Otherwise, the daisy stickers on my
hatchback would be blown to Australia.
He fell back down. I was going to order you to go home, but you cant go out there. Its not safe.
Youll have to stay here until the storm passes.
Thats what I planned on doing anyway. Even big bad billionaires need taking care of when theyre
sick.
Wear a mask, he grunted. Theyre in the bathroom. I make housekeeping wear them when they
clean. There should be plenty there. I dont want you getting sick.
If I get sick, I can be your first human trial for the nanotechnology, I joked and adjusted the pillow
under his head. Unless you have an injection of it here. I saw the miracle rat. That tumor was gone within
a matter of days. I bet the robots would fix you right up.
If Id known this would happen, I would have sped up the research.
I felt his forehead again. He was burning up. Dont act so surprised. Everyone gets sick. Even kings.
No one is invincible.
Mask, he reminded me.
Black shadowed the bathroom, from the tub made of obsidian marble to his standalone shower, which
looked like the steam room of a luxury spa. From a shelf, I pulled down a mask and put it on. As I left, I
caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and imagined the mask was a gag. I was bound, chained to a bed,
my body pouring heat, full of desire and longing. Noah circled me, teasing me. I wanted the gag. I wanted
the chains. I wanted him.
Maybe I have a fever too, I said, checking my own forehead.
On my way back to Noah, I detoured to the kitchen and prepared a bowl of soup, which I brought to
him.
You dont have a lot of food in your pantry. Should we
I fell silent. Noah was sound asleep. Throwing the mask aside, I sat in the chair across from him and
took a few sips of the soup, watching him dream. He looked different when he slept. Troubled and
unhinged, like he was fighting unknown demons.
Before he woke and tried to tell me what I could or could not do, I set the soup on the fireplace mantel
and went outside into the storm. It was midday, but the streets were dark, the clouds above wrathful. I
didnt go far, spotting a deli nearby.
An old Turkish man cleaned the counters as I walked in. Were closing, so make it quick, he
warned. Gotta get out of this madness.
Ignoring the menu board, I inspected the pots of soup, meats, and breads that were on display. Will
these last the next few days? I asked.
 If you refrigerate them.
Then Ill take it all. Whatever you have in stock, wrap it up.
The man seemed happy with my request. Ill give you a discount. It was going to go to waste
anyway.
Fighting the wind, I returned to Noahs apartment and put the food away in the kitchen before going to
check on him.
You are here, he murmured, his eyes half-closed. I thought Id dreamt you. It was a happy dream,
until I saw you stole my soup.
Noah Stafford, you just cracked a joke, I piped out, taking the bowl from the mantle. Do you want
me to heat up whats left?
No. Im not hungry. And the proper way to address me is sir.
You should have put it in the contract.
I did.
I rolled my eyes, but I humored him. Well, sir, I got you more soup. And sandwiches. Theyre in the
fridge. Were all set for the storm.
Closing his eyes, he smiled. I like the sound of that. Say it again.
Sandwiches?
Sir.
Not a chance.
I dont like this, he uttered, half-asleep. I should be taking care of you. You shouldnt be taking
care of me.
If it makes you feel better, Im being selfish. If you die from the flu, Ill have no job. Dead men have
no need for personal assistants.
If you werent my personal assistant, would you take me up on my offer? Exclusive friends with
exclusive benefits.
Something twisted low in my belly, but I ignored it. Tried to at least.
I like the friend part, but the rest isnt meant to be. Im not interested in an agreement. I want the real
thing. Can you offer me that?
Those beautiful green eyes met mine, and I thought I saw pain within them. As beautiful and
intoxicating as you are, Imogen, I dont think I can.
Goodnight, Noah, I said, ending the discussion. Ill be right here if you need anything.
Goodnight, he echoed. And Imogen?
Yeah?
Put your mask back on, or Ill do it for you.
Go ahead. I may like it.

***

I didnt join Noah in sleep. As he tossed and turned, he grew pale. Worried, I deemed myself his keeper,
staying awake to make sure he got through the night as comfortably as possible. When a new day came,
though it was hard to tell with the overcast skies, the torrential winds, and the pounding rain, Noah was
still lost to his illness. He remained unconscious, his breathing rasped.
In the afternoon, when there was no improvement, I called his doctor, but because of the storm, he
couldnt come to check on Noah. He connected me to the hospital, but they were unwilling to send out a
paramedic unless it was a life-threatening emergency, claiming their resources were limited with
everyone taking shelter from the disaster that was happening outside. Trying to be helpful, the nurse asked
me to take his temperature.
Running into the bathroom, I searched around until I found what I believed was a thermometer.
Stafford Scientific had developed it; the companys name was engraved on the side of the plastic.
Guessing how to use it, I rubbed it across Noahs forehead, and his temperature was digitally displayed.
102.7
Thats high, the nurse said after I read it to her, but still not high enough to send an ambulance. I
recommend you put him in icy water. If that doesnt help or if his fever gets worse, call us again.
Grabbing ice from the kitchen, I filled the tub with it and ran the cold water. That part was easy.
Getting Noah into the bath was a lot harder. Whispering in his ear that there was an emergency at the
company, I managed to wake him long enough to walk him down to the bathroom.
Do you have anything of value in your pockets? I asked him, surrounded by the black marble.
No, he replied, teetering, struggling to stay awake.
Do you trust me?
With my life.
Get into the tub. It will be painful, its pretty cold, but its what has to be done. Ill be in the tub with
you.
Then what are we waiting for? he slurred, drunk from his illness.
Careful that neither of us slipped, I helped Noah slide into the tub first. He barely acknowledged the
cold. It was probably soothing against his fever. Or he was numb to it. When I got in, the cold bit at me
like a million rats nibbling at my skin. Shivering in my white dress, I made sure Noah stayed awake,
telling him stories of stealing bingo cards for my grandma at the senior center, upon her insistence.
An hour later, Noah was back on the couch, dressed in black boxers and a T-shirt, which he had
managed to put on himself. Sitting next to him, I wore one of his dress shirts, which given his height and
broad chest, covered me like a gown. We played chess, his fever way down.
Please dont scare me like that ever again, I said to him as I captured one of his pawns.
I dont intend to, he replied. Regaining his strength, he brushed a piece of my hair away from my
face. Thank you for being here. I dont know how I can repay you.
Beneath his touch, I shivered again, but it had nothing to do with the cold from the bath. I was warm.
And content. Like I said, I was being selfish. I need the job.
Anything you want, he said.
So youll promote me sooner than later? I chanced.
He grinned. Only if you manage to take my king, he gambled.
Youre on, I said, determined, looking down at the chessboard, only to realize he had me in
checkmate.
Best two out of three? I suggested.
Im afraid not, he said, relaxing back on the couch. I dont want to lose you just yet.
 ***

The ambrosia that was coffee woke me. Forgetting where I was, I stretched out in my chair, allowing the
waft of freshly brewed grounds to linger in my nose. That smells delicious.
Of course it does. I only buy the best, Noah boasted.
Instantly awake, I sat up straight. You should be resting. Let me be on breakfast duty.
Its already done. Im better now. I just needed to sleep. And so did you. We slept through half the
day. Its well past noon.
The color back in his face and his bright green eyes aglow once more, he did seem to have his
resilience back, but this time he wore it without his trademark austerity. If I hadnt been here the last few
days, I never would have suspected he had been sick. He seemed to be in prime health.
With care, he set my coffee in front of me. The mug was wider than both my hands put together. Does
this mean no more mask? I asked, though I hadnt worn it since my first day in the apartment. I dont
think youre contagious.
If I had any fear you could catch the flu, I wouldnt have made you the coffee.
Picking up my mug, I went to the window to assess the weather outside. The rain continued to slash
down, and the winds were as ferocious as ever. I hoped it was the peak of the storm. I couldnt imagine it
getting worse than it already was.
Theres no fear of the skyscraper tumbling down, is there? I asked, only half-joking.
This is the safest building in Chicago. It might be the safest building in the whole damn world.
Nothing can destroy it.
Thats what they said about the Titanic, I argued, but it did ease me. Were probably the only
people left in the city.
Wouldnt that be ideal, he said sincerely.
Overwhelmed, I sealed my eyes with his, the hazel of mine melding with the green in his. I wanted this
man. Together, we could create new worlds. It was natural for us to be together, as innate as the stars
above, clouded by the storm.
Tell me more about your childhood, I asked, quieting my desires, knowing it was not the time to act
out on my painful, glorious fantasies.
No, he said firmly. I wont answer any more questions about my brother.
Actually, I wasnt even thinking about your brother. I want to know what your childhood was like.
It didnt make him like the conversation any better. It was fantastic, he said with a subtle sarcasm. I
had lots of money. I had lots of toys.
Maybe too many toys, I thought. What made you found Stafford Scientific? I know you want to help
people, but why a technological company?
There was a need, he said but refused to elaborate. Im done talking about me. What about you?
Have you ever thought of finding your mother?
That would be impossible.
Julia found you with a name and hometown.
I tensed, anxious about the subject of my mother and her abandonment. Trust me, my mother has gone
off the grid. She doesnt want to be found.
 He pressed. But dont you want to know more about your family?
Nervously, I fumbled with the drapes next to the window. I know enough from my grandma. If my
mother wants me in her life, she can find me.
What I didnt tell him was that I was afraid. What if I looked, and there was nothing there? Or worse,
what if I found her and she rejected me? Again.

***

Searing hot water trickled down my back as I took a shower. With the black stone of the bathroom
surrounding me, it was as if I was immersed far below the surface of the earth. With everything that had
happened over the last few weeks, I indulged in the gloriously hot steam, filling my lungs with it as water
from the shower streamed down my back, trailing from my spine to my toes, carving its way through my
crevasses. Tilting my head back, I massaged my hair beneath the water with an exotic smelling shampoo
Id found in the guestroom, enjoying the way it made my scalp tingle.
I was naked, and Noah was only a few rooms down, repairing a broken floorboard, his energy mostly
restored. With the storm holding us prisoner inside his penthouse, he was agitated, ready to work, so he
burnt off his frustrations with home improvements. Being the control freak he was, if he could do
everything himself, he would. As the scorching water continued to drench me, I pictured Noah holding a
hammer with his big, brawny arms, the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled back. He pounded down on a nail,
developing a rhythm that made the floorboards shake.
I was torn.
Torn between my memories of Corey and the reality of Noah, my mind had no idea which brother to
choose, so I let my body do the talking. With a wetness between my legs that had nothing to do with the
shower, but rather the man I shared my confinement with, my body made its decision.
Stepping out of the shower, I covered myself in Noahs dress shirt once more, bare underneath. I
didnt expect the shirt to stay on long. Quivering with anticipation, my knees grew weak, fully aware that
the game was about to change, but I pushed on, leaving the bathroom to join Noah down the hall.
Imogen, youre not playing fair, he rumbled when he saw me, his unassailable eyes scanning my
body with a virile appetite that made my stomach and heart flutter in unison. Its bad enough that you
walk around in my shirt. To do it while youre soaking wet is beautifully wicked, he claimed, standing,
his need for me showing in the hard bulge in his slacks. Why dont you put the dress you wore here back
on? Or I can loan you more sweats.
That poses a dilemma, I said, pouting from the doorway and looked up at him through my lashes. In
order to put my dress on, I have to take your shirt off.
Reading my body language, Noah lunged towards me like a cheetah and locked his arms around my
waist, spinning me out into the hall. That is a problem, he breathed, his voice husky with arousal as he
pinned me to the wall. What are we going to do about it?
I was lava in his hands, molten against the fury of his passion. With my back pressed into the wall, I
slowly undid the top button of the shirt, exposing a section of my blazing flesh. I guess we have to take it
off.
The things Im going to do to you, Noah murmured as he twisted a clump of my damp hair between
his fingers. Youre so stunning, Imogen, even more so when youre like this completely natural.
As he spoke, his cock grew even more, pressing against my stomach. I could hardly breathe,
completely and utterly wrecked by the man who held me. My body quivered again, the spasms of my need
sending blood rocketing down to my core, releasing its sticky wetness, ready for Noah to plunge into me.
Ravenous, he kissed me, his mouth conquering mine before dominating my tongue with a blissful
force. As he seized me, his lips bruised mine, but in the most magical of ways. His kiss was a torture I
could endure for eternity, tasting of mint and triumph. Weeks of his seduction had led to this. Noah was
finally getting what he wanted, and so was I, no longer fighting my attraction. My temptation. My need.
Breaking away from the kiss, Noah brushed his thumb across my lips, which were swollen. There
will be pain, but there will mostly be pleasure, he said, a warning and a promise that equally made me
faint from the thrill. I wanted it all.
Fueled by my desperate, achy need to be with him, I unbuckled his belt and threw it to the floor, one
step closer to liberating his cock. With my arms wrapped around his neck, I locked my eyes with his,
falling into their bright green spell. Do what you want, sir. Im loyal only to you.
Releasing a deep throaty growl, he snatched me around the waist and picked me up until I straddled
him. Gripping the cheeks of my ass, he kissed me again as he ground his hips, thrusting upwards so that
the pole in his slacks rubbed against the back of my thigh. With his cock so close to my pussy, my skin lit
up like fireworks, and my thighs became slick with my wetness, saturating his slacks.
Not here.
With incredible strength, he carried me to his bedroom and lowered me until I stood in front of his
triple king-sized mattress, which was covered with a surprisingly plain white duvet, a complement to the
warm walnut of his headboard.
Now, back to the dilemma of this shirt, he said, unfastening the next button. With the tenderness of
cotton, he kissed the flesh left exposed, just above my chest. Another button, another kiss, this time against
the side of my breast. And another, and another, each kiss spurring convulsions down my spine, until only
one button remained, covering my wet, pulsing core.
On his knees, he left the final button alone to cup my breast, pushing it up into his hand so that my
nipple bulged out, making it easy for him to lick. He flicked his tongue around my swollen bud before
rolling it around the base of my nipple, prickling my skin until it was euphorically over-sensitive to his
touch. I grabbed his hair, which was like silk in my hands, encouraging him to devour me. Boosting my
breast up farther, he sucked hard, his lips wet and warm over my bud. Moaning, I arched my back so that
he could take more of me into his mouth, which he sucked harder, electrifying my body, making it buzz
with ecstasy.
Moving down, he released the last button on the shirt, leaving my front completely uncovered.
Standing back, he took me in and whistled. You have the most gorgeous curves. Lets not hide them any
longer. Languidly, taking his time to appreciate every inch of my skin, he peeled the shirt back from my
shoulders and let it fall from my arms.
Thats better, he said.
Almost. There are a few buttons left, I said and tore off his shirt, buttons flying in all directions.
Moving down, I slipped my hand into his slacks and tenderly cupped his stiff cock, breaking all
boundaries between us. It jumped beneath my touch, amplifying in girth and length. Giving Noah a
preview of things to come, I closed my fingers around him, sliding my hand down his length. My eyes
widened when my fingers wouldnt meet, and I swallowed, both worried and excited about his size.
Feeling brazen, I pumped him as I looked him in the eye, daring him to break away.
When he did, it was to haul me to his bed. Wait there, he commanded.
Laying on the duvet, I listened to him unzip his slacks. Soon, he hovered over me, his cock fully erect.
Hormones hammered across my body, pumping me with adrenaline, making my core jet out juices in
preparation for Noahs massive size. Teasing me, he ran his palm down my stomach and over my swollen
pussy, playing with my folds with his fingertips, feeling my wetness.
And I havent even made you come yet, he said, delighted.
Clawing the duvet, my breath ragged from his touch, I bent my knees and spread my thighs, inviting
him in. He drove two fingers inside of me. I wanted his cock, but the result was almost as satisfying. I
cried out loud and nearly ripped the duvet off the bed as he circled his fingers around my walls, exploring
me, pleasuring me. Using my wetness as a lubricant, he thrust his fingers in and out, working me, sending
a wave of ecstasy across my hips and breasts, building me up.
Continuing to plunge into me with his fingers, he settled beside me and used his other hand to pull
lightly at the buds of my breasts, which were still ripe and now tender from earlier. Licking his thumb, he
smoothed it over my nipples, circling it around, creating a current of bliss that connected my nipples to my
clit. I flushed, ebbing closer to release.
Come, Noah ordered. I want to watch you come. Set your body free for me.
To encourage me further, he removed his fingers from inside of me and concentrated on the pink flesh
of my outer pussy. Sliding his hand down from my breasts, he pressed gently against my belly button,
lifting the skin away from my clit until it was fully exposed. With his touch, it sent me over the edge. A
glorious wave of release ripped through me. I was delirious, full of a joy I hadnt known in a long time.
I didnt think you could get any more beautiful, but you just did, Noah murmured, withdrawing his
fingers. Youre glowing.
Because of you, I said, panting as I ran my hand across the hard muscles of his chest. Its time to
return the favor.
I rolled over with the intention of riding Noah like a cowgirl, but he stopped me halfway and gently
laid me back down on the mattress.
Surrender yourself to me. Let me decide whats best. Its part of the agreement.
Id almost forgotten about the agreement. My desire for Noah had nothing to do with rules or lessons.
It was organic, built upon the friendship we had formed. Familiar with his stubbornness, I knew better
than to argue. If I continued to sleep with Noah, it would have to be on his terms.
Smiling coyly, I lifted my arms above my head. As I said, do what you want.
Nibbling on my ear, he muttered, There are many things I want and will do to you, Imogen Clare.
Then he reached into the drawer of his side table and unwrapped a condom.
When he was ready, he lifted the bulk of his chiseled body over me. My body swelled again, hungry
for him as he lifted my knees higher than before. With his thighs between mine, he stilled, his cock
nudging at my entrance.
Looking up into his verdant green eyes, I waited for him, longing for the moment we fully connected.
Please, I begged.
A corner of his mouth lifted. Please what, Imogen? he asked.
I would have said anything. Please, sir.
I cried out as he plunged into me, spearing me with his steel, my body stretching for him. His mouth
captured the sound, his tongue invading my mouth as his cock invaded my body.
You feel so good, he whispered into my ear as his teeth raked down the lobe. Slowly, he pumped his
hips, moving leisurely so that every inch of him pulsed within me.
 His slow, deliberate rhythm drove me mad with pleasure, leaving me aching for more. I arched my
back, wanting him to push deeper, to completely submerge his cock within me, but he continued his sweet
torment, gently rolling his hips, teasing me.
Please, I begged, my skin burning as another surge of euphoria rose within me. Please fuck me
hard. I bit my lip. Sir.
It was the trigger he needed. He thrust vigorously, his cock shaking my body with its force. I knotted
my legs around his back and grabbed his ass, guiding him in, moaning with pleasure every time he hit the
end of me. The weight of his body, how it pinned me down, added to my upward climax. I coveted the
way his sweat, his scent, mixed with my own.
As he pushed into me, he kissed my neck, lifting my flesh away with gentle bites. I turned my head to
the side, giving him access to my pulse, which he ran his tongue over, tasting the salt on my skin.
Occasionally, he released my neck to catch my gaze as he fucked me, his eyes blazing with viscous need,
making the muscles closest to my core spasm until my pelvis clenched around him.
Groaning with pleasure, his skin glistened with sweat, dripping down the brawn of his shoulders. We
breathed hard, panting as our hips ground together.
Moaning, I circled my hips with each of his thrusts, dancing to his rhythm. Hyperaware of the friction
of his pulses, my blood ignited, and I climbed faster to the peak. I tightened my legs around his back and
grabbed his arms, holding onto his strength as he rocked my body. Annihilating me with kisses, he
continued his siege, thrusting in and out, sliding through my wetness.
His tempo increased as he approached his crescendo. Backing up, his ass riding the air, he torpedoed
into me, over and over. Locking himself inside my pink flesh, he grunted as he spilled out. Whimpering his
name, my body erupted in a golden bliss as I came with him, our limbs tangled together as perspiration
sizzled on our skin. He pushed even deeper into me, riding his wave, and I cried out, the intensity of my
orgasm matching the storm outside.
Breathless, Noah held onto me, refusing to pull out. Tucking my head beneath his jaw, I found solace
having him linger inside of me, taking his weight. By sleeping with him, our agreement had been extended.
We would stay faithful to each other, but he would be in command, my superior and my teacher, edifying
me on all the pleasures my body could endure.
The following night, when the storm had passed, and the city prepared to deal with its aftermath, I
stood on Noahs balcony while he showered, alone in the black of the night. Without the lights from the
theaters and the clubs, the city vacated, Chicago was at its darkest, its truest form. The night had
summoned me, and I had obeyed.
I expect great things from you, I said, confronting it. Dont let me down.

***

Stafford Scientific didnt reopen immediately following the storm. While Noah and his executives
assessed the building for damage, he ordered the rest of the staff to offer their services at the shelter that
housed those left homeless by the wrath of the tempest. Power lines were down, pipes leaked water and
waste onto the street, and more than a few cars were overturned.
With Julia and Peter by my side, I served food in the cafeteria of the shelter, doling out mashed
potatoes and roast beef to those in line, mostly families who had resided in older buildings unable to
withstand the raging winds.
I cant believe you were trapped here, Julia said, expressing her concern as she salted the potatoes.
I mean, you must have been frightened all alone in the apartment.
It wasnt so bad, I replied, my face red beneath my hair net from the truths I did not tell. My
goodness, its warm back here.
Its the ovens. Were feeding thousands today, Peter calculated.
Still, to hear the winds ripping the city apart must have been awful, Julia said, scooping a spoonful
of potatoes onto a plate I passed down to her.
Why didnt you join us? Peter asked. We kept expecting you to walk in through the door. We were
worried. You didnt answer your calls, and you didnt send us any messages.
You sound like the parents I never had, I said lightly, teasing him.
We sound like your friends, Julia asserted. We were concerned about you. I just dont understand
why you werent able to leave.
I swallowed hard, though I didnt hear any suspicion in her tone, just sisterly love. I told you. I
wasnt sure my car would make it all the way to Milwaukee. I didnt want it to break down in the middle
of the storm, so I decided it best just to quarantine myself indoors. Really, I was fine. See. I twirled
around. Im alive.
Im sure Mr. Stafford would have allowed you to take one of the company cars, Peter speculated.
He was stuck in the city too.
How do you know? I asked, trying to sound casual.
He told me when I picked up his dry cleaning this morning.
I swallowed again. Well, whatever he was up to is his own business. Quickly, I changed the subject.
So what did you guys get up to at my grandmas house? If you heard an old lady calling out numbers, that
was the ghost of Beatrice, a friend of my grams. Ever since she died, the house has smelled of markers
and Bingo cards.
It was fun, Julia said. Kind of like a big sleepover. After Peter found me at my desk, we grabbed
as many people as we could, those without families who were free to leave. It was a caravan. All of us
camped out in the front room, sharing secrets. She glanced at Peter and giggled.
What? I asked. Tell me.
Keeping his trust like the good friend she was, Julia waited for his permission.
Go on, he allowed, blushing fire engine red as he used his tongs to set a piece of roast beef on a
plate. Im sure the world is going to know one day.
Peter reads womens magazines! Julia exclaimed, tittering. Doesnt that make him even more
adorable?
Stop using that word, he protested. Im not adorable. Im manly and ferocious, like a bear.
A teddy bear! Julia cried.
We laughed, and Peter shortly joined in, realizing the ridiculousness of his statement. He was a man,
but he was no bear. He didnt need to be. His personality was more than enough.
What about the magazines do you like? I asked. You looking for style advice?
I dont need it, he claimed, seemingly proud of the baggy cargo shorts and Tokyo T-shirt he wore, a
souvenir from a trip wed heard about many times.
Is it the Sudoku puzzles in the back?
He rolled his eyes. They give me insight on women, okay. How am I supposed to spend my life with
one if I have no idea how her mind ticks?
So its research, I mused. How very scientific of you.
And smart, Julia added. Can you imagine how much better our relationships would be if all men
read womens magazines?
It depends on the magazine, I said. Some represent us more realistically than others.
You know, for a butler and PhD student, youre kind of lazy, Peter, Julia teased. The entire time we
were in Milwaukee, you barely washed a dish.
I wasnt lazy, Peter objected. It was tactical. Why struggle with the burden of cleaning after every
meal? Its much more efficient to wait for the plates to pile up then use a singular momentum to get the
work done. We left the place spic-and-span.
If you left it spic-and-span, then its cleaner than the last time I saw it.
No thanks to Peter and his singular momentum, Julia quipped. Id hate to see what his apartment
looks like.
Its a mess, he proclaimed, smiling mischievously. Because of the storm, of course.
Oh, Id almost forgotten. There was a letter for you, Julia informed me. It looked important so I
brought it back with me. Its on the counter in the kitchen.
A few from the senior center have been looking after the house for me. Im surprised no one told me
about it. Who is it from?
It didnt say. There wasnt a return address, but it was postmarked a couple of weeks ago. She gave
me a knowing look. From Thailand.

***

As soon as our shift at the shelter was over, I ran home, declining Julias invite to join her department at a
swanky restaurant theyd booked.
Scrambling through the letters on the counter, I snatched up the one from Thailand. Hesitantly, I stared
at it, wondering if I should burn it. Then I would never have to know if sleeping with Noah had been a
mistake. I didnt believe it was. Noah made me happy, adding an excitement to my life that was deeply
personal and affectionate. I wanted it to continue, even if only for the year.
Though tempted, I couldnt destroy the letter. I had to face the consequences of my decisions. Shaking,
I tore the envelope open and read what was inside.
Instantly, I slid down to the floor with my back pressed against the counters, relieved. It wasnt from
Corey. The hotel Id stayed in was simply informing me of a promotional offer. Hugging the letter to my
heart, I exhaled, my panic subsiding.
The letter hadnt been from Corey, but it could have been. Before, I would have been disappointed.
Now, I didnt know how I felt.
 CHAPTER EIGHT

The red was gone. My office was now a contrast of cream leather couches set against earthy shades. If I
couldnt spend my days in nature, I would bring nature to me.
With the arrival of the new furniture came my realization that Stafford Scientific had changed me.
Never before had I cared about interior design or the clothes I wore. At my grandmas house, the couch
was floral and yellowed with age. My clothes were bought in thrift stores and bargain outlets. We werent
poor, but we were frugal. If we hadnt been, there would have been no inheritance, no trip to Thailand,
and no move to Chicago.
I embraced the change, but I was also determined not to lose myself, especially now that Noah and I
had spent the night together. I was not Noahs personal assistant. I was Imogen Clare. I had worked my ass
off to get good grades in school, and I was passionate about the environment. The only time I would let a
man command me was when it resulted in my own personal pleasure. I had given Noah what he wanted,
and instead of making me weaker, it had made me stronger, because I was being true to myself, to my
desires.
Julia would have approved of the changes to the office and the changes in me, but I felt some relief
that she was in a different department. In fear of disappointing her, I didnt want her to see how differently
Noah and I interacted with each other now that Id extended my agreement with him.
And there was a difference. He came into my office as often as he could, rarely delivering his
messages through our devices, taking a much more hands-on approach. Those hands were on me. When he
passed a brief on to me, he made sure to gently touch my shoulder, remaining professional but reminding
me that I was his. During meetings, instead of standing in a corner to take my notes, he designated a spot at
the head of the table for me. If anyone suspected my relationship with Noah had changed, no one dared to
mention it. And if there were rumors, I hoped they didnt trickle down to Julia before I had a chance to
tell her first.
The view from my window had also been altered. The lake had risen, flooding over the ports. The
tempest had done its damage. Chicago by day was not the same as it had been. The storm had brought me
endless pleasure, but it had brought the city irrevocable pain.
Noah joined me in my office. Imogen.
Flushing beet-red as he approached my desk, I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. Hearing him call
my name had a new power over me, leaving me speechless. He wore a midnight blue suit that was as
flawless as his perfect smile, which he flashed at me. Since making love numerous times during the storm
last week, thered been no time to see each other outside of work. I was left replaying his caresses in my
mind, a reminder of just what kind of man Noah was beneath his suit.
Sitting on the corner of my desk, he faced me and brushed my lower lip with his thumb. I took in a
sharp breath and held the candor of his gaze, reading everything hed like to do to me while we were
alone in the office. My heart raced, and my chest heaved as his thumb continued to graze my lip, teasing
me, making me scream inside for him to kiss me, to show me the full force of his affection once more.
I wont be available this weekend, he said with clear reluctance. He dropped his thumb and set his
hand on my shoulder, massaging it. My heart exploded under his touch, and I pined for our bodies to
intertwine once more, to move with the thunder of the storm.
Where will you be? I asked, my breath rapid as our eyes remained sealed together.
The nanotechnology lab is being permanently moved up to the top floor in preparation for the
convention. Regret was carved within his gorgeous face. If it were anything less, I would tell everyone
to go to hell, but its important.
I understand, I said quietly, anticipating his lips on mine, kissing me goodbye. I inhaled his cologne.
It wasnt fair that I was forbidden from using perfume while he was able to enchant me with his expensive
musk, making me pliable to his will.
Releasing me from his hold, he picked up my tablet and clicked through the screen. Im going to
leave a specific set of activities I want you to participate in this weekend. Youre a rebellious woman,
Imogen, but sometimes your wildness puts you at risk. No drinking. No running around in lethal storms.
No driving around in the death-trap you call a car.
Reminded of my pluck, as Old Ben had put it, I stood defiantly, took the tablet from his hands, and
leaned my body against his. I ran my hand across his chest, feeling his heartbeat, and rested my head
against it, enraptured by his scent. Clutching me until there was no air left to breathe between us, he ran
his hand down the back of my head, smoothing the waves of my hair.
God, youre irresistible, he murmured. I felt the vibrations of his voice as he spoke, and I tilted my
head up to kiss his throat. His skin was salty and delicious, whetting my appetite for him. The halls of my
company are a lot less lonely with you around.
With butterflies flapping around in my stomach, I absorbed his praise. I wont put myself in any
danger, I promised him, but if you are working, then I have my own plans this weekend.
A brew of mistrust and concern darkened his eyes. In some ways, Noah was a statue permanently
frozen with the impassiveness of his authority, but at times, he wore his emotions like a mask. He studied
my face, which I was sure was blushed red from my arousal of having him so near. What plans?
Some cleaning and organizing. I want to put the house in order.
The cloud in his eyes transformed into undeniable lust. He cocked his head to one side. I like the
idea of you on your hands and knees. I approve, but know Ill be thinking of you scrubbing the floors in
your delectable bra and panties.
I wouldnt want it any other way, I said, squirming as my blood boiled with desire.
To my great satisfaction, Noah kissed me, his mouth firm and unapologetic. As we kissed, he grasped
the back of my head and pulled me tight against him, refusing to let go. Well, not until his wrist device
buzzed.
My team of copywriters has an appointment with me, he said when he pulled away, as breathless as
I was. We need to nail down the speech for the convention.
I know, I said, disappointed that he had to leave with my core pulsing uncontrollably. I scheduled
the appointment. Do you want me to come?
He grinned wickedly. Every time. And then he brushed his thumb across my lip once more. Stay
here, but I promise you, Imogen, Ill make time for you. Youre my priority.
I kissed his thumb. Then go. Finish what you need to do so that we can be together again. You still
have lessons you need to teach me.
That I do. He kissed me once more before leaving.
When he was gone, I let out a deep breath, emptying my lungs. Noah was astute, he read people like
they were the morning newspaper. I was afraid he would have called me out on my lie. My plans for the
weekend did involve cleaning, but not in the way Noah thought. The work would be worth it, if I managed
to keep it a secret from the man who ruled me.

***

My memory and navigational skills were excellent. They served me well when I was lost in wetlands
trying to journal the population of pelicans or in the forest analyzing the impact logging had on the
vegetation that grew beneath the trees. Today, my skills led me out of the city, through a small suburban
neighborhood, and up a hill to Stafford Estate.
Standing outside the iron gate, I feared I was about to enter a horror movie. Id watched enough of
them to know better than to go into a derelict manor alone. The way Noah spoke about his family, I was
certain many ghosts walked its halls, even those that were still alive.
Ignoring everything I learned from horror movies, I went to my trunk and pulled out a hover board.
The blue disc resembled a futuristic Frisbee, with lights around the sides that lit up when it was touched.
While running an errand for Noah, Id spotted it in the Innovations room near his office. It had been left
behind after prototypes like it had been presented to Noah for his approval. I was supposed to take it
down to the floor it belonged on, but it had inspired a better idea. I could use it to jump the fence and fix
up Stafford Estate.
Noah may prefer the city, but he needed his childhood home. It represented everything that he had once
loved. And if he still refused to see its potential, I would convince him to convert it into a homeless
shelter or something of value to the community.
The problem with stealing the hover board was that I didnt have the opportunity to ask anyone how to
work the thing. I turned it over in my hands, but it had no buttons. The surface was smooth all over.
Growing frustrated, I finally pounded the top with my fists and shouted, Turn on, you damn thing!
Instantly, it lit up. Damn thing turning on, a digitized voice said.
I should have realized it was voice activated. I didnt think anything at Stafford Scientific had buttons.
Nothing new, anyway.
Bracing myself against the fence, I set the hover board on the ground and stepped on it, praying that it
didnt fly up with me, rising through the atmosphere until it floated past the International Space Station. It
wasnt the only prototype of its kind, but I planned to take it back when I was finished. Given the size of
the estate, that could be months away.
Ascend, I instructed it, but it didnt move.
I tried again. Go up.
Rumbling beneath my feet, it launched into the air. I wavered it was like standing on top of a bar
stool after six shots of vodka but managed to keep my balance.
Stop! I shouted as soon as I was at the top of the fence. Resting my feet on the rectangular beam that
connected the iron bars together, I moved the hover board over to the other side and steadied myself on it
once more.
Go down! I instructed, and it listened, halting just before the ground. Victorious, I jumped off and
tucked the hover board under my arm.
I was in.
Dogs, I abruptly thought, and I froze, listening for the sound of paws running on the grass or gnarled
growls, but there was none. The estate really was abandoned. I was relieved, but it was also a bit sad.
Cobwebs tangled in my hair as I crawled through a window broken by overgrown ivy, the glass
shattered and covered by the green around it, cushioning my climb. I brushed the cobwebs away, as if I
was in the jungle once more, pushing back the leaves on the trail as I trekked with my group to find the
elephants.
Corey was no longer a part of my daydreams, but I didnt let the fact ruin my memories of Thailand. It
had been an eventful vacation, full of wonders I would likely never experience again.
I couldnt understand how Noah had permitted the estate to become such a dystopia. He said he
preferred the city, and I believed him, but if he truly had no attachment to his childhood home, he would
have sold it off. He held onto it for a reason, possibly a secret longing to have his brother near, or maybe
he subconsciously wished to save it for his own family one day, though that was a hope I did not dare
have, accepting how the one-year rotation worked.
The window led into a small utility closet, which was thankfully unlocked. I crept out and turned
down the hall, arriving in the foyer where a split staircase rose on either end to the second floor. Stumps
of narrow trees rotted at the foot of the stairs. While touring an old period home in Milwaukee, Id seen
something similar. I didnt remember the era, history wasnt a strong point, but there was a time when
treating a foyer like an arboretum was fashionable. Above the stairs was a dome built of stained glass.
Though dusty, it had persevered well over the years, the colors within the glass vibrant and uplifting,
showcasing the constellations of the night sky. The entire foyer reminded me of the lobby at Stafford
Scientific, and I once again hypothesized that Noahs childhood home had greater reverence than he was
willing to admit.
Like Alice in her Wonderland, I continue to explore the manor, drifting first into a formal sitting room
with a high ceiling and elegant crown molding. The furniture was covered with dust sheets. I imagined
that beneath those sheets were gilded couches with exotic patterns upon which ladies and gentlemen
sipped their tea. Except that when I checked, the furniture was disappointingly modern.
I continued through similar rooms until I reached a conservatory at the back of the house. Like with the
tree stumps in the foyer, the fossilized roots of plants told me a garden had once been here, but the room
was striking for other reasons. Amongst the roots, classical life-sized sculptures, like those seen in Italy
and Greece, absorbed the sun. I searched amongst them until I found the Andromeda, the Chained Maiden.
Long hair cascaded down her back and shoulders, covering her breasts but leaving her stomach and thighs
exposed. Cuffs were buckled to her wrists, but whatever she had been chained to had long broken off. I
ran my hand against the cuffs, fascinated.
I was going to save this room for last, I decided, stepping away from the sculptures. There was
something momentous about the room, a finality that I couldnt grasp, possibly because it was at the back
of the house, the last room to wither.
Meaning to begin the cleanup, I backtracked to the kitchen, having neglected to bring cleaning supplies
with me. With its tremendous size, metal surfaces, and upscale appliances, the kitchen belonged in a
restaurant, not a home. There was enough room to prepare a feast for the entire town. Perhaps, long ago, it
had.
Unfortunately, there was no disinfectants or sponges left beneath the sink, nor could I find them in any
of the utility closets. Without supplies, there was nothing further I could do, but I was excited for the
project, especially now that Id seen the foyer and the conservatory. Trees would grow again, and flowers
would bloom once more. I would make sure of it.

***

Did I tell you I promised Peter Id find him a girlfriend? I asked Julia over a plate of spaghetti, twisting
the noodles around with my fork, wondering if Noah liked meatballs.
She nearly spit out her wine. No! When did this happen?
A few weeks ago over a picnic lunch in our office.
Your office, she corrected me.
It was our office back then. He was really cute. You actually inspired the promise. He absolutely
adores you, as Im sure you know. He goes bright red every time you step into the room, but I warned him
youd be uncomfortable with the age difference.
Thank you, Julia said, topping off her glass of wine. Peter is like a little brother, and it would have
killed me to break his heart. You did it for me. Cheers to that.
I clinked my water glass with hers. Thats what sisters are for.
I like your idea of finding him a girlfriend. Im in on it too. Theres gotta be someone his age that
matches his charm.
We were enjoying a dinner in our apartment, homemade by Julia. As it turned out, she was a great
cook. Buttery and soft, her garlic bread was pure heaven, and her pasta perfectly cooked. When I made
pasta, it was either too mushy, or it crunched beneath the teeth. She claimed it was because of the snowy
winters in Boston that forced her indoors.
Are you sure you dont want any wine? she asked, holding the bottle up. Or we can make those
lemongrass mojitos youre always raving about.
No, thank you, I told her. With the convention getting closer, my stomach is a ball of nerves. I dont
think alcohol will help.
Or alcohol is the only thing that can help, she ventured, but she set the bottle down.
I was nervous about the convention coming up, but what I couldnt yet tell Julia was that Noah had
ordered me not to drink alcohol, and now that we had extended our agreement, I wanted to oblige. I did so
willingly, a sacrifice for the pleasures to come.
I really like your grandmas house. It was cozy, and there were so many photo albums. Her eyes
glistened. I didnt imagine Julia had many photos of her childhood, not after growing up in foster care. I
hope you dont mind, but I flipped through most of them.
I dont mind at all, I said honestly. I actually brought a few here. Theyre in my room. I can show
them to you if you want.
Later, she decided. I wouldnt want to risk spilling spaghetti sauce on them. Then the ghost of your
grandmas friend really would come back and haunt us. And so would your grams.
If she doesnt already, I joked.
What about your grandpa. You dont speak much about him.
He died in Vietnam. I never met him.
Thats terrible. It takes a brave woman to date a soldier, she said resolutely.
Yes, my grandma had been brave, in many ways.
 What about the guy you were making out on the couch with that night? I probed. I havent heard you
speak much of him lately. What was his name?
Ronald Weister, she said and stuck out her tongue. Its like the worst name ever. Obviously, when
his parents were deciding what to call him, they didnt realize he was going to grow up to be such a
hottie.
I laughed. Weister I can kinda see, but hes definitely not a Ronald.
He tries to tell people his name is Ronaldo, but I know better. Ive seen his drivers license.
Is that why you havent seen him lately?
Oh no, I see him. A lot. Were dating, but were not exclusive. I dont want to move too fast. I just
want to enjoy it. No pressure. Thats why Im not talking much about it. She looked apologetic, but I
wasnt offended.
Fair enough, I said. As long as you invite me to the wedding.
She threw a dry noodle at me. Of course youll be at the wedding. Youll be my maid of honor, which
means I get to dump all the work on you while I sit at the spa getting pampered.
Ill do it, as long as you dont put me in a pineapple dress. I know you like yellow, and so do I, but
every color has their limits.
I have no limits, Julia sang. And neither should you. Were young and free.
To being young and free, I toasted, but it was a half-lie. I was young, but I wasnt free.

***

After dinner with Julia, I went to the park to walk off the mound of garlic bread Id eaten. To my delight,
the fountain was running once more. Water spewed from its tiers, and the antique stone had been scrubbed
clean, resurrected. A shiny new addition to the fountain caught my eye. At its base was a gold plaque with
the inscription:

To Imogen, From Noah.

I bent down to run my fingers over our names, touched by the gesture and that he knew me well enough
to predict Id return.
Within the fountain were countless coins and countless wishes. Pulling a penny from my pocket, I
flipped it into the water, repeating history. Last time I stood here, Id wished for Corey to return. Now, I
desired the opposite, that he would never come back. Not that I thought he would and I didnt wish him
harm, only complete happiness. But his absence so far had convinced me he wouldnt return, as had
Noahs persuasions. But to make sure, I pleaded with the fountain gods to keep him far away.
Corey would complicate things. Time and distance had built a wall between us, but I still had feelings
for him deep below the surface, bubbling up every so often, especially when I thought of the future. As
much as I cared for Noah, if Corey ever did live up to his promise to find me, he could offer me a
lifetime, whereas Noah could only give me a year.
Did wanting both make me a horrible person?
 CHAPTER NINE

Come in, Peter! I called from my desk when I heard a knock at my office door.
Carrying a flat white box as if it were a dinner plate, Peter stumbled in. I come bearing gifts, he
declared and set the box on the couch.
Careful, or Ill expect something every time I see you.
He rubbed his shoulder. Ill see what I can do.
Was it heavy?
No, my arm hurts from scooping all those potatoes.
You should book an appointment at the company spa on the third floor, I suggested. Theres no
charge.
He considered it. Im so used to providing service to other people, I think Id find it strange to wear
the other shoe.
Get used to it, kid. Youre only a butler for another four months. Then youll be running head first
into your career. Depending on which department I transfer to, by the time Im out of purgatory, youll
probably be my boss.
No way, he said as he checked his wrist device. There is only one boss here. To say otherwise is
treachery.
I lifted an arm as if I held a sword. Arggg.
He frowned. Are you making fun of me?
I was a pirate.
Thats mutiny youre thinking of.
Same difference.
He looked around, as if just noticing the new dcor for the first time though hed been to my office
many time since the furniture was delivered. I like what youve done with the place. Its like walking in
the forest and sitting on a cloud at the same time.
I beamed at him. Thats what I was going for.
He checked his wrist device again.
You know, Peter, its not in your contract to make small talk with me. Are you busy?
Its been hectic with the World Science Convention so close, but I still have time to deliver a gift
from the boss.
Its probably my dress for the gala, I stammered, hoping his reference to the gift wasnt a covert
way of telling me he knew what was going on between Noah and me. I mean, thats the only reason hed
be giving me anything.
 Youd make such a great spy.
Peter smiled. Would you like me to help you open it?
No, Ill take care of it later.
He was visibly relieved. Then will you excuse me? The nanorobotics crew is waiting for me to
bring them tea.
Tea? Really? Youre not British.
But some of them are.
I waved him on. Go, boy genius. Use your superpowers for good.
He bowed in true British fashion and went to the door.
Peter, wait! I called. Guess what I had for lunch today.
What?
Nano your business.
Thats a terrible joke, he claimed, but he grinned, aligning his freckles in a row. Thanks. Itll help
me get through the day.
After he was gone, I left the box unopened on the couch and returned to my work. With a to-do list that
was a mile long, I couldnt afford the distraction. Preparations for the convention were a lot to handle on
my own. Id wondered more than once if it was possible to hire a personal assistant for a personal
assistant, but I wouldnt risk falling out of the rotation so soon.
By the time I remembered the box, the sun was close to setting. In my bare feet, still forbidden to wear
anything other than heels, I went to the couch. Embossed on the top of the box was the label of a very
expensive designer. Using my nails to get around the tape, I pried it open. Inside was a dress, but it wasnt
for the gala. Short and low cut, it wasnt the type of garment I could wear out of the building, let alone to a
fancy ball.
On top of the dress was a lotus blossom and a note:
Meet me on the rooftop at eight. Wear the dress. Put the flower in your hair. Dont be late.
Alone, I stripped off my work clothes and slid the dress over my head. By design, slashes in the fabric
exposed my skin, one across the stomach, another down the back. I looked like I just survived the zombie
apocalypse, if the zombie apocalypse was comprised of angry kittens, but the dress was sexy. I had to
give Noah that. In it, I was charged, ready for whatever lesson Noah wanted to teach me. Aroused at the
possibilities, I took the lotus blossom and ran it up my leg and across my neck, reliving his touch behind
the curtain at the club before tucking the flower behind my ear.
Ten minutes before eight, I left the office and climbed the short flight of stairs to the rooftop. Id never
been on the rooftop of a building before, but I imagined them to be grimy and full of rodents, a haven the
lab rats fled to when they escaped their cages. There was nothing filthy about the rooftop of Stafford
Scientific. Like the front of the building, it was lined with fiber optic cherry blossom trees that lit up as I
passed by, glowing in the night. They guided me to a helicopter launch pad where Peter waited with a
bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling cider, which he poured into a glass for me.
I was mortified. So you do know.
I know nothing, he said impassively, revealing no judgement. Its nano my business.
A laugh barked out of me, and I could feel each muscle relax. Youre a good friend, I said and
knocked the cider back, wishing it was made of something a lot stronger.
 Mr. Stafford predicted youd be barefoot, so he also instructed me to give you these. From his
tuxedo jacket, he pulled out a pair of black fuzzy slippers.
Hallelujah! I exclaimed and stuck them on. Its freezing up here.
Youll be warm soon. The helicopter is approaching. Until then, would you like my jacket?
No, thanks. Ill manage. I looked out across the other rooftops. They were like giant stepping stones.
Ive never been in a helicopter before. Have you?
Many times. I find them quite enjoyable, but if you get scared, take comfort in the knowledge that itll
be a brief flight. Youre not going far.
Where am I going?
Peter shook his finger. That would ruin the surprise. Here, stand back. Its landing.
A few seconds later, with the stealth of a hawk, the helicopter appeared from the dark, completely
silent. I ducked my head as it landed, only to realize there were no blades anywhere on it.
It belongs to the company, Peter explained. The military wants it, but its not on the market yet, not
until Mr. Stafford is certain it wont be exploited to hurt innocent civilians in countries where he has no
reach.
Hes good like that, I said. He pretends to be ice, but hes actually fire.
A door on the side lifted upward, and Noah stepped out, looking divine in a dark gray suit that was
like coal, fueling the power of his bright green eyes, which he fixed on me, full of burning sins that
stopped my breath and made my knees weak.
He offered me his hand. Watch your step, he cautioned. Its steep.
I hopped up, and he steadied me, our bodies pressed together, ready to fly within the lovely darkness.
Your scent is intoxicating, he whispered provocatively so only I could hear.
Im not wearing perfume. Its forbidden.
He ran his fingers through my hair. I know. I prefer your natural scent, all of it.
Once we were settled in the helicopter, facing each other, the pilot took off. Around us, spotlights
flashed in the sky, beckoning those by land, those by sea, and those by air to experience the sweat and
fetishes of the city. I tried to take it all in, but we soon landed, our flight as short as Peter had predicted.
Is this the roof of your penthouse? I asked, gathering my bearings based on the buildings around us.
There were no fiber optic trees, but there were fairy lights strung from actual trees, narrow saplings
potted around the concrete. In the distance, I spotted a hot tub, and off to the side, a table had been set up.
It is, Noah said, lifting me away from the helicopter so that it could leave.
We could have walked, I reckoned.
As he sat me down, he kept his body close to mine. Tonight isnt about sensibility. Its about
sensuality, he murmured, drawing me in with the silk of his voice. It put me in a trance that made my
thighs wet, ready to spread for him.
Remembering the table and the two waiters who stood next to it, I broke away from his hold, shy with
an audience watching us. Are we having dinner?
Dinner. And a lesson.
By the smolder of his eyes, I knew it was a lesson Id greatly enjoy. I look forward to it, I said and
sauntered to the table in my slippers.
Dressed with a white tablecloth, that table contained shiny gold cutlery that reflected the flames of
several candles. Strewn around the candles were a ponds worth of lotus blossoms.
Its beautiful, I said to Noah. Thank you for this. And thank you for the dress.
The dress is entirely for my pleasure, he said, pulling my chair out for me. The rest of the evening
will be for yours.
As soon as we were seated, the waiters, both men in red dinner jackets, served a green rocket salad
with strawberries and a chocolate vinaigrette dressing. Starved, I shoved a forkful into my mouth. Id
skipped lunch, buried in my work.
Slow down, Noah ordered me sternly, less the man I knew from the night of the storm and more the
man I knew every day at the office. Savor the sweetness of the strawberries, the bitterness of the
chocolate. Enjoy your food. Be mindful of every small flavor that lingers on your tongue.
Closing my eyes, I obeyed. As if I were wine tasting, I searched for notes within the food I otherwise
would have missed. Doing so, I experienced a hint of walnut in the vinaigrette, and that the rocket salad
had coated the strawberries with a smoky flavor that rounded out their sweetness. Wow, I murmured in
my indulgence.
Watching me as if I were a strawberry hed like to savor, Noah leaned back in his seat. I want to
know more about you, Imogen. The parts of you that you arent willing to share.
I nearly choked. You mean like my fantasies?
He grinned hedonistically, his teeth brilliantly white. Well get there, but I mean something much
more personal. I want to know more about your family. Lets start with your mother.
Grateful I had food in my mouth, I took my time to answer, preparing what to say. Theres not much to
tell. As Ive said before, I have no clue where she is. Shes off the grid. Maybe she remarried, maybe I
have brothers and sisters, or maybe she abandons everyone she meets. Thats my guess. She cant be
found because she doesnt want to be. How else can you explain abandoning both your mother and your
daughter?
So youve looked for her? he deduced.
Dejected, I put my head in my hand and stabbed continuously at a piece of salad with my fork. Not
me, but my grandma did. She never stopped looking.
Sit up, he ordered, and I did, meeting his inquisitive stare. Youre angry, and you should be, but
tell me more about her past, before she disappeared.
She didnt disappear. She left. And I was a baby when she did. Theres nothing to report.
He persisted. There must be photos and remnants from her past around. Your grandmother likely
spoke about her. Did she travel? Was she as adventurous as you? Or did she stay home and watch soap
operas, dreaming of becoming a housewife? How old was she when she had you?
My head spun with all his questions. Is this part of your lesson? I asked, hoping we would move on
to the more enticing part of the night, where he ripped off my clothes, and we replayed our night entangled
within the storm.
A part of a lesson, but not this one, he said. Stop stroking your fork up and down like that. Its
distracting me.
Not realizing I had been, I dropped it onto my plate. Fine. My mother was living with my grandma
when she became pregnant with me. She was twenty-years-old, young but old enough to know better. Even
while she was pregnant with me, she went to biker bars. She was a wild child, preferring the suburbs
where the danger in the bars was real. She wasnt adventurous. She was careless. Thats what my
grandma always told me, anyway.
Frustrated, I shook my head. My grandma was very honest about the type of woman my mother was,
the good and the bad. She didnt keep anything from me. Im glad my grandma raised me. Im glad my
mother left.
You dont mean that, Noah said. If you did, you wouldnt be so hurt. You said your grandma told
you the good and the bad. What was the good?
I sighed. She had a thing for birds. If she ever found a bird with a broken wing, she would nurse it
back to health.
Interesting, he said contemplatively. Abandoning you was horrendous, but did you ever think that
perhaps she thought she was doing what was best for you?
Dont do that, I protested. Dont make her out to be some sort of unsung martyr. If she cared at all,
she would have come back at some point. She never came back. She never wrote. She never made any
contact. Never. Im lucky my grandma was full of enough love to make up for both my parents.
And what of your father? Do you know who he is?
Not a clue. Any time my grandma asked, my mother claimed she didnt know.
To my relief, Noah finally backed off. I wish I could have met your grandma. She sounds like she
was a wonderful woman, a real classy lady.
I laughed. Maybe not classy, but she had her virtues. I wish you could have met her too. I choked out
the sentiment, suddenly emotional.
Is it too much? he asked, reaching across the table to take my hand. It was warm, a hearth that
comforted me from the woes of my past.
No, I said, sniffing the tears away. I like talking about my grandma. She makes me happy. I would
much rather talk about her than anyone else in my family.
How did she pass?
Typical old age. She had a stroke. I found her in the house after a camping trip Id taken with my
friends. She was still alive, but she died a few days later in the hospital. Up to that point, she had a lot of
medical problems. It wasnt her first stroke. After suffering from her first, she was paralyzed and spent
the rest of her days in a wheelchair.
So you cared for her?
I tried, but I was also going to class and working. I had a lot of help from the community, especially
the senior center. Milwaukee is a great place for that.
Peter told me how you opened your grandmas house up to them during the storm. Clearly, youve
adopted her virtues. You are honorable, Imogen. Usually, I choose my personal assistants from the
hundreds of applications sent to me each year. Not you. You were handed to me by fate. When people do
good deeds, they should be rewarded. His voice dropped. Im going to reward you, Imogen.
I dont need to be rewarded. Thats what friends do.
Leaning forward, his hand moved up my arm, and he lightly caressed my cheek. Im going to reward
you, he said with his usual intensity.
Now I understood. The air around us changed, becoming much more in tune with the night. How? I
asked, enjoying the way the pulse in his neck throbbed.
I plan to awaken you, he said, the control he emitted more mouthwatering than the food before us.
With a precise set of lessons, your body will experience a revelation. These lessons are based on levels.
First, you must let go of your inhibitions. Its the most basic level there is.
I was entranced. My inhibitions?
Thats what tonight is for. Only by letting go, by surrendering to higher forces, can you fully
experience gratification.
Higher powers? Like church? With his touch sending sparks across my cheek, I was reduced to
short sentences, my mind melting.
He chuckled. I like to think of it as a form of worship.
Summoned by a snap of his fingers, a waiter came and set a small platter in front of me. At its center
was a red chili pepper, long and smooth with a thick green stem.
The chili is mild, Noah assured me. I would never hurt you. Before we go any further with any of
our lessons, remember that. Everything I do, I do for your benefit.
I trust you, I said. And I did trust him. Not with my heart, but with my body.
He traced the plumpness of my lips. Take the chili and slowly put it in your mouth, but dont chew.
Let the flavor linger on your tongue. Allow your senses to take over. Dont speak. Just feel.
Blushing, I looked around at the empty rooftop. Are the waiters gone?
They were instructed to leave after serving this last plate. Its just the two of us, but that shouldnt
matter. Dont let your insecurities hold you back from experiencing great pleasure.
Gingerly, I picked the chili up and licked its tip, testing its mildness. Satisfied, I stuck it in my mouth
and wrapped my lips firmly around it. A glaze of honey coated it, filling my mouth with a sweet joy, but
the spice dominated. It heated my body, from lips to my breasts, down to my core. Closing my eyes, I felt
the breeze slightly lift the hair off my neck.
Imogen, you make it very difficult to get through this lesson. Watching you like that, I want to rip your
clothes off. He stood from the table. Come with me.
Bordering the rooftop was a tall guardrail. Noah pinned me against it and kissed me, licking the
flavors of the night off my tongue as his hands crept up my thighs, stroking the area inches lower than
where I needed him to stroke. More than anything, I wanted to feel his fingers inside me once again,
caressing the pink flesh of my pussy, but I was acutely aware that the guardrail was made of glass.
People can see, I objected, but it didnt stop him. His fingers inched closer to my folds.
Thats the point. Toss aside your inhibitions. Let me show the world the beauty thats in it. Let me
show it you.
Mesmerized by his raw manliness, I gave in, sodden as he played with the hairs of my manicured
curls. Teach me, sir.
Harshly, he spun me around so that I was pressed against the glass, and he pulled my backside
towards him, forcing me to arch my back. This dress stays on, he said huskily, but these come off.
Going to his knees, he pulled down my panties and rubbed his nose next to my pussy. He licked my thigh,
his tongue firm and warm against my skin as he drank in my juices, ripening me. Your scent is splendid;
your taste is ambrosial.
An ache rolled across my stomach, sharpening my breath. It freaked me out how intimately he was
acquainting himself with my body, but it was also utterly euphoric. I pressed my backside out further,
giving him access to all of me. He could have me any way he wanted. As the spotlights of the city
continued to roam the skies, I didnt care if the whole damned world watched.
As he lapped at the wetness on my thighs, he pushed the hem of my dress over my hips and rubbed the
cheeks of my ass, stimulating me fully. I longed for him to move his tongue to my pink flesh, to sip from
my cup, but finished with his appetizer, he stood. Throbbing for more, I heard the shuffle of fabric and the
sound of a wrapper being opened.
Surrender, he ordered and grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled my head back. Holding onto it like
a rope, he circled his free hand around my hips and plunged into me, filling me with his hard warmth,
which augmented as he crashed his hips into my backside, stretching and rubbing my flesh in endless
bliss.
Panting, my breath left steam against the glass of the guardrail, which rocked from his glorious siege.
Feeling whole with his cock inside of me, the happiness I knew when I was with Noah overwhelmed me.
As if he sensed this, he ran his palm down my spine. Jolts of electricity shot across my body, and I
moaned loudly and freely, letting the night hear my cries of pleasure as I opened my eyes to watch the city
sparkle below me.
Giving back, I clenched my pussy around his cock, tightening for him. Imogen, you she-devil, he
breathed and slowed his pace, escalating my pleasure, which I swallowed back, allowing it to build deep
within me. First, my skin tingled from the build-up, and then it went numb, my release close.
Im going to come, I whimpered. I cant hold back any longer.
Neither can I.
As my body began to flush, he pounded me with relentless passion, powerful strokes bruising the
inside of me. The guardrail shuddered with me, and I climaxed, rising above the rooftops, flying free like
a bird. His cock swelled within me with a virile heat, and then he groaned, joining me in flight.
While the lava of my joy seeped out of me, I rested my head against the cool glass, trying to catch my
breath. Allowing me time to recover, Noah affectionately ran his hand through my hair and traced the
perspiration along my back.
And the show goes on, I uttered when I was able to speak again.
There was no show, Noah informed me, refusing to let go of my hair, as if I were a thing to be
petted. The guardrail is a two-way mirror. We can see out, but no one can see in. It was a lesson, but the
lesson is over. Youre not for show. Youre only for me.
 CHAPTER TEN

Sitting on my bed with my legs folded together, I flipped through the photo album that Id brought with me
from Milwaukee and stopped at the snapshots of my tenth birthday party. We had celebrated it at the
senior center with my grandmas friends, who gathered behind me in the photos with their arms raised
high, cheering me on as if they were a bunch of teenagers touring with a band. Heaped on a table were
scratch tickets, their gift to me. Id won fifty bucks that day, which my grandma had collected for me.
Dont tell anyone you played the tickets, shed said that afternoon when wed popped away to the
local convenience store. Youre too young.
Do I get to keep the money? Id asked.
She squeezed my hand as we entered through the sliding glass doors. Every last penny. Thats five
hundred wishes.
Five thousand, I corrected her. Math had always been one of my better subjects.
And what will you do with five thousand wishes?
Buy ice cream. And a telescope.
Returning to the party, Id been upset to learn my birthday cake was in the shape of a pickup truck. Id
wanted a princess cake, but my grandma was trying to broaden my mind, encouraging me to live outside
the roles expected of me. At the time, I was too upset to understand any of that, and I threw a tantrum,
bawling my eyes out.
The next day, I was still angry, so I ran away, high tailing it to the nearest bus stop. Recognizing me,
one of the older fellows from the senior center sat beside me on the bench as I planned my escape. Every
day, George wore a checkered shirt without fail, recorded in my many photos.
What are you doing out here all alone? he asked.
Im leaving town, and I aint coming back.
He whistled. Thats a big decision. Where will you go?
Anywhere but here.
That doesnt sound like much of a plan. Arent you afraid?
No. Im not afraid of anything, I said boldly.
You should be. The world is a scary place. Im not saying tuck yourself away under a rock, Im just
saying that you have to be smart enough to know what you should or shouldnt be afraid of. Some people,
they cower away from the most trivial of things. Like honesty. Others, they put themselves at unnecessary
risk.
Im smart, I claimed.
I know you are. So tell me, is what youre running away from worth losing all that you love here?
 I thought about it. No, I decided. I want to stay.
I think thats a wise decision, George said and walked me home to my grandma, who was running
around the street with curlers in her hair, frantic to find me.
The lesson Noah had taught me was not too dissimilar. I couldnt let inhibitions hold me back. Fear
wasnt worth the risk of losing all that I loved, including the anxiety of being judged by my roomie.
Sighing, I closed the photo album and set it aside before going into the front room to tell Julia everything.
Too many unknowns circled around in my head. Julia was a constant, an erratic constant, but a constant. I
had to tell her about my agreement with Noah. If I didnt, and she found out elsewhere, she would be hurt,
enough that it could ruin our friendship.
True to her nature, she sat on the couch furiously typing away on her laptop, biting her lip, her brows
furrowed with obvious irritation.
Something wrong? I asked, but she didnt reply. I doubted that she heard me. Julia.
Glancing up, she seemed startled to see me there. One moment. Im just trying to catch a rat in the
act.
My heart pounded. Business related?
Her eyes darkened. Personal.
As the click of the keys on her laptop played like an angry song, I waited, ignoring my urge to turn
around and lock myself in my room so that I would never have to tell her the truth. When the minutes
streamed on, I approached her again. Julia, I really need to talk to you.
And I need to talk to you, she said, slamming down her laptop.
She knows. Im the rat shes trying to catch.
Go on, I said.
Its about Ronald. He claims to be a junior accountant at a firm his uncle supposedly owns. You
would think theyd have profiles listed somewhere, but theres nothing, no mention of Ronald or his
uncle.
Perhaps nepotism isnt something the company advertises.
That doesnt explain why I cant find his uncle. If he owns the firm, his name should be everywhere.
Ronald is an intelligent man. He speaks of things that are profound and cultured. So youd hardly think he
would be stupid enough to pretend to work at a company that I can easily search for online.
Have you asked him directly?
She looked horrified. I cant do that. We just started dating.
Youre afraid that if you call him out on his lie, youll scare him off?
Exactly. She sighed. Its the burden of starting a new relationship. You cant come off too
possessive, but you dont want to waste your time either.
I dont know. Wasting your time can sometimes be fun.
Not for me. Were so busy at the company, our free time is limited. I really want to start a family,
build a real home. The sooner, the better. I need to find someone whos right for me. I dont mind flipping
a few boards to get there, as long as those boards are flipped quickly.
I understood. I guess that means well have to spy on him, I joked.
Julia lit up. Thats a brilliant idea! We need to do some snooping around. How about Wednesday?
Usually, theres not much happening on a Wednesday. Lets take that morning off and follow him to work.
 It sounded like a terrible idea, even if I had inspired it. If he sees that were stalking him, hes going
to think were insane.
Everyone is a little insane, Julia maintained. But dont worry, he wont discover us. Were going
incognito.
How?
Costumes, she stated as if it were obvious.
Can I be Superwoman?
Julia laughed. Not those type of costumes. Just wigs and stuff. Itll be great.
Until we get arrested. Im pretty sure stalking is illegal, no matter what costume you wear.
Its not stalking, she stressed. Its a very thorough background check. Why stare at a computer
screen when we can just walk down the street?
The idea of dressing up in costumes did sound kind of fun. I hadnt been in one since my last year in
college when Id helped organize an anime convention in Milwaukee. Id gone as Pokmon. Inciting a
delighted squeal from her, I agreed to Julias plan, completely forgetting my own plan to tell her about
Noah.

***

It was far from Halloween, but the costume shop was full of interesting pieces, a testament to the
shenanigans found within Chicago. Dinosaurs, cavemen, and mermaids were piled high around us.
Briefly, I stopped in front of a get-up of a Roman she-warrior, admiring the leather cuffs included in the
package. They made me think of chains. These days, chains were constantly on my mind.
From off a rack, Julia held up a bright red Hawaiian shirt with a white print. What do you think of
this? Well look like tourists.
Tourists in Chicago dont wear Hawaiian shirts. Tourists in Hawaii dont even wear Hawaiian
shirts, I said with distaste, taking it from her and setting it back on the rack. Better we stick to wigs and
glasses.
I always wanted to go blonde, she chirped. Lets go blonde together.
Thats a pretty big step, I kidded. We only just met.
For Julia, it wasnt simply a matter of grabbing a wig and leaving. Standing in front of a wall of hair
pieces, like Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom, she searched for the perfect shade, the perfect cut.
The point is not to look like ourselves, I reminded her. Grab the ugliest one there is, and lets go.
I held up one that looked like the bad side of a horses tail. What about this one? Its hideous.
Nope, Julia refused. In case Ronald does recognize us, I still want to look amazing.
You make about as good of a spy as I do, I remarked.
Ill take that as a compliment, Julia said, reaching for a blonde bob. How about this one?
I think it would look great, which is why you shouldnt buy it. Its too obvious.
Not when I pair it with oversized Gucci sunglasses.
Thats even more obvious, I argued, knowing it was useless. Julia had her mind made up.
Now we just need something for you, she said, staring at the wall once more. Whats your fantasy
hair color?
 The hair I have. Thats why I have it.
If youre going to be a grump about it, then Im getting you the exact same wig as me. We are sisters,
after all.
I smiled despite my pessimism. You do realize that will draw more attention to us, not less.
Hush. The blonde goes great with your hazel eyes. Were getting them.
We searched around to see if there were any clothes that we could possibly wear, but there were none
that wouldnt look ridiculous out in public on a Wednesday morning, so we resolved to wear anything I
had brought with me from Milwaukee.
At the register, Julia pulled out the company credit card. No way, I said, putting my hand over the
card. We cannot use corporate funds for this.
Shes shrugged. Sorry, bad habit. I used to charge everything on this card. Actually, I should have
given this one to you weeks ago.
This one? I asked. How many does the personal assistant have?
A lot. Thats the benefit of being the personal assistant.
Suddenly uneasy and a little nauseated, as soon as the cashier had boxed up the wigs, I pulled Julia off
to the side, next to a life-sized cutout of He-Man. I know this isnt the right place to do this, but I have to
tell you somewhere. Ive decided to extend my agreement with Noah. When I was in Chicago during the
storm, I was with him. I wasnt alone in the apartment like I led you to believe.
I waited for her reaction, but she didnt give me one. Her face didnt change. Thats okay, she said
nonchalantly. I figured you would. Everyone does. Hell, even I did. Looking back, I realize what a
misogynist turkey he is, but you get lost in the moment.
Youre not disappointed? I worried her impassiveness was a mask for her anger.
Not in you. In him. This is what he does. I mean, theres a reason he hires personal assistants from
out of town. I was a newbie from Boston. Youre a newbie from Milwaukee. He knows how lonely a
newbie can be. But he should know better. Hes not doing anyone any favors, especially himself.
Underneath his austerity, Mr. Stafford is a really generous man with a big heart. He owes it to himself to
find love, but he never will like this.
She stopped, considering it. Unless what you have is more than an agreement
It is special, I said honestly, but hes already made it clear he cant commit past the year.
Boo on him for not realizing what he has right in front of him. I know he cares about you. Ive known
it all along. Ive seen the way he looks at you. Theres more than lust going on beneath the surface. Its
tragic that he wont admit it.
What about you? I asked. Is that what all this is really about? Do you think you could love
Ronald?
Perhaps, she said dreamily. If Ronald is his actual name. I hope he is who he says he is.
I think its a safe bet he hasnt lied about his name, I said with good humor. The rest, well have to
find out on Wednesday.

***

The morning was hazy. With any luck, the grayness slithering across the city would make us much less
conspicuous. After grabbing two mochas, giggling in our blonde bobs, we positioned ourselves outside
Ronald Weisters apartment and fumbled around with a giant map, already failing as spies. He lived in an
ordinary apartment on an ordinary street. In our wigs and sunglasses, Julia and I stuck out like a sore
thumb.
We really need to put this map away, I whispered. What if he comes out and asks us if we need
directions? That old lady already did.
After she asked us for change. We need this map to hide behind.
Thats why we should have bought a newspaper.
Too late now, she hissed, ducking down. Hes leaving.
Cautiously, I peeked above the map and recognize the man from the night in the apartment. Hes even
cuter in the daylight, I whispered.
What daylight? she griped, looking up at the sky in her sunglasses.
Never mind. Hes on the move. It looks like hes a walker. Good thing I made us wear tennis shoes.
I hate sneakers. I feel short in them. Id wear heels to the gym if I could.
Dont give me that. You played softball. Youve probably worn cleats your whole life.
Cleats are a form of heel, full of tiny little stilettos. Now be quiet. I dont want him to hear us.
Huddled together behind the map, we followed Ronald into the financial district, passing by numerous
art installations that added a subtle grace to the somberness of the buildings around us. At one point, my
shoe caught in gum and I tripped, nearly taking Julia down with me. Ronald turned slightly, and we froze
like deer in the headlights, but he kept walking.
You okay? Julia asked as she helped me up.
I dusted myself off. Nothings broken.
Then keep going. Im a girl on a mission.
Soon, Ronald turned into the exact accountancy firm that he had claimed to work for. For Julias sake,
I was happy. Whether she admitted it or not, I knew how much she liked the guy. See. He does work
here. Now we should go. We have our own job to get to.
Not yet, Julia insisted. Maybe he knew we were following him, and hes just in the lobby walking
in circles. We have to go inside.
I knew this was going to be the day I got arrested, for the second time, I said.
She smiled, her eyes big. You were arrested?
For skinny-dipping. Well talk about it later.
Yes, we will, she said enthusiastically.
Pushing our way through the glass doors, we quickly scanned the lobby. It was a bit dull, with brown
granite flooring and chairs that looked like they belonged in a hospital waiting room, but it was airy, with
columns that rose high. And there were interesting oil paintings on the wall of famous people who had
also studied accounting, like Bob Newhart and Mick Jagger. Ronald, however, was nowhere to be seen.
See, hes gone upstairs. Theres nothing to worry about. He does work here. There must be some
other explanation for why his name isnt listed in the company profile.
Julia tapped her fingers against a column, looking fretful. I have to be sure.
Unexpectedly, she ripped off her wig and sunglasses. I dont know why I didnt think of this in the
first place, she said and marched up to the reception desk, where a petite brunette had her head in her
hand, seemingly bored.
 Im here to see Ronald Weister, she said with the primness of Work Julia. We have an
appointment.
Who? the reception asked.
Mr. Ronald Weister.
Feeling foolish standing alone in the lobby, I left my wig on, but I did join her at the desk as the
receptionist pulled out a large directory and flipped through it. Sorry, Im new here, she said. This
should only take a sec.
Please hurry, Julia said impatiently, glancing at the elevators, probably worried Ronald was about
to emerge from them. We have other appointments to get to.
I jabbed her in the ribs, warning her not to be rude. Like a true professional, she didnt blink.
Oh yes, Ronald Weister. The mail man, the receptionist acknowledged, running her finger along a
table in the directory.
The mail man! Julia exclaimed. Thats outrageous!
Sensing disaster, I quickly pulled her back outside. She was so angry, she was shaking. I didnt blame
her for being upset, but her reaction did seem a bit extreme, even for Julia. This guy meant something to
her. If it wasnt obvious before, it was now. It was because she cared that she was so upset.
Does it matter if hes a mail man? I asked, trying to prevent gunfire.
Of course not, she snapped, a war unfolding in her dark brown eyes. I was a personal assistant as
of a few weeks ago. We all do what is needed to get by. But what does matter is that he lied to me.
He probably just wanted to impress you, I speculated.
She put her foot down. Literally. It almost broke my toes. Thank goodness she wasnt wearing heels.
It doesnt matter what his intentions were, she said. I believe in honesty. Its very important to me.
You were honest with me about Noah. Why cant he be upfront about what he does for a living? Deceit is
an ugly habit. If hes willing to lie to me about this, Ill never trust anything he says.
I heard her, but I still felt she was overreacting. You didnt mind being a personal assistant because
you knew it led to a promotion. Maybe hell always be a mail man. This may be as good as it gets for him.
Youre such an intelligent, driven woman, its probably hard for him to tell you hes not on the same
ladder you are. He might be ashamed.
Her shoulders dropped, some of her anger fading. He shouldnt be. No one should be ashamed of an
honest job. I would never judge someone for the work they do.
Yes, but he doesnt know that. Youre still getting to know each other, I said, patting her arm.
Were here, so we might as well see this through. Lets go back in and talk to him. Say you wanted to
surprise him by saying hi. He cant fault you for that. And then everything will be out in the open.
Fine, Julia conceded. But only if you take off your wig too. It makes me jealous how hot you look.
Laughing, I obliged, and we returned inside, but there was a different woman at the desk. How long
were we outside? I asked.
Only a few minutes. Julia went up to the desk. Hi, I was speaking to someone here earlier.
Shes gone on a coffee break. Can I help you? the new woman asked.
Were looking for Ronald Weister.
Nodding, the woman dialed an extension to Ronalds office, but she set the phone down shortly after
speaking with whoever was on the other line. Im sorry, but hes in a meeting.
 The mail man has meetings?
Hes not actually a mail man, the woman said dully, looking at us with suspicion. Thats the
nickname given to the junior executive whos the runner. His uncle is making him work his way up the
company ladder. He does some of the accounting, but he mostly just runs around between the other
accountants.
And his uncle is Mr. Weister? she asked in confusion.
No. His uncle is Mr. Shuster. They dont have the same last name.
I closed my eyes. Of course they didnt. Why hadnt we thought of that?
Would you like me to leave a message? the woman asked.
Thats okay, Julia said, backing away. Ill call him later.
Outside, she fell down on a concrete bench, dazed. We will never speak of this to anyone.
Sitting beside her, I laughed. I thought we did okay. We should spy on people more often.
We were terrible, Julia said cynically, but she smiled. Im glad we did this. Its good to know I can
trust him. Its hard for me to do that sometimes.
Im glad too, I said and playfully tossed her wig back on her head. We should head to work.
Tucking her hair neatly beneath the netting, she said, Put yours back on too. The fun isnt over yet.
Lets go to work like this.
How will we get through security?
She held up her forearm. Thats what the microchips are for.
Needing some whimsy, I transformed into a blonde once more. Okay, I said, putting my sunglasses
on. Lets see if we can shake things up.
 CHAPTER ELEVEN

From my closet, I pulled out my blue skater dress, the outfit that had started it all. My old friend, I said,
holding it up against me, preparing for a surprise date. If it had inspired Noah to give me a job the day of
the interview, there was no reason he wouldnt like me in it now. That was unless Julia had been correct
when she said Noah had intended to hire me before I even stepped foot into Stafford Scientific, but that
wasnt an assumption I was willing to make. The implications of it were too overwhelming.
Stripping off the uniform of my work clothes, I put the skater dress on and covered it with a cardigan.
The fabric may be made of cheap sandpaper in comparison to the garments Julia had picked out for me,
but I no longer cared. I had to find a balance between my old and new life. This dress was that balance.
Ignoring the heels on the floor, I pulled out a pair of ballet flats from a suitcase and slipped them on,
completing the outfit.
Youre wearing that? Julia asked as I joined her in the front room. Standing in front of the mirror,
she applied a dark red lipstick, preparing for her own date.
Theres nothing wrong with it, I insisted.
Thats not what I meant. It looks great, she praised. Good thing were about the same size. If
youre going to return to your old wardrobe, I can start stealing all the clothes Mr. Stafford was kind
enough to buy for you. She puckered her lips. It was my evil plan all along. Be your roomie for free
clothes.
I dont doubt it, I said lightly as the device on my wrist buzzed, telling me Noah was waiting
downstairs. Gotta go. Have fun with Ronald.
In the elevator, knowing there would be another lesson, my hands began to sweat. After the night on
the rooftop, I could only imagine what this one would be like. The sensation of his palm running down my
spine as he took me from behind lingered across my skin, making it hum.
Imogen, Noah greeted me when I stepped outside, as he leaned against the company car, his suit as
black as the vehicle, as black as the night. Youre as gorgeous as ever.
I could say the same thing about him. At times, I found his raging masculinity intimidating, reminded
that he truly was the lord of his castle. Tonight was one of those times. It must have been the black suit.
Like a black hole, it sucked me in, made me helpless to his every carnal command.
What is the lesson tonight? I asked when we were in the backseat of the car, his hand on my leg,
lightly stroking the skin behind my knee.
Experimentation, he revealed. How can you know what makes you feel good if you havent
experienced the sun and the snow, the sand and the grass?
I looked at him meaningfully, holding his gaze. I think I know exactly what I want.
His caress across the back of my knee quickened. Im glad you feel that way, but the lesson
continues. Sometimes the choice isnt either that or this. Sometimes the choice is that and this.
 Doubtful, I said, having an inkling of what the night was about. Recent history showed I had a very
specific type. Sandy blond hair. Bright green eyes. And an overbearing personality, for better and for
worse. With Noah, it was only for the better. No amount of experimentation was going to change that.
We pulled up outside the club with the curtains and the lotus blossoms. Mortified, I recalled how Id
tripped over the barrier post after running away from Noah and his seductions. Straightening my posture, I
refuse to be that weak again. The tigress in me came out. Propelled to play Noahs game, I would see his
lessons through and enjoy myself in the process.
Taking my arm, as if we are arriving at a ball and not an underground cavern of fetishes and one-night
stands, Noah escorted me into the club. It was all the same. The contortionist spewed flames above the
crowd of dancers, who thrashed around like frogs in a pond. In some ways, this was a pond, a place to go
fishing. A hunting ground.
Do you see anything you like? he asked, holding tightly onto me, as if he were afraid that if he let
go, I would be swept away in the current.
Testing him, I pointed to one of the contortionists, a man with the chest of a bodybuilder. What if I
choose a guy? I asked.
That would break our agreement, he said disapprovingly. You must stay loyal to me, Imogen.
Id suspected as much. But if I pick a girl, youll be disloyal to me.
Tonight is about you, not me. I wont be touching anyone. This is your time for revelation, not mine.
I smiled roguishly. How do you know I havent experimented like this before?
Have you? he asked casually, showing no reaction.
No, not even close, I answer truthfully, starting to wish he was a little more like Corey, that he wore
his emotions on his sleeve.
Does being with another woman go against any of your moral beliefs?
No, but it does go against our agreement. Its still cheating, I argued, unable to think of another
word. We werent in a relationship, but whatever this was, it was meant to be exclusive.
This seemed to please him, but he persisted. Ill bend the rules tonight, for the sake of the lesson. So
choose.
As we circled around the club, I had mixed feelings. I had once been the prey, and now I was the
predator. On second thought, in a club like this, everyone was the prey, and everyone was the predator.
We were all here for the same reason, ruled by our desires.
When I failed to select someone, we climbed the stairs to the VIP section and stood on the balcony
looking down at the dance floor. You have a better view from up here, Noah said, standing behind me,
his arms wrapped around my waist so tight I could feel the magnitude of his manhood. Who stands out?
I leaned back into him and turned my cheek, rubbing it against the muscles of his chest. How can you
expect me to even look at another person when youre standing so close?
Without budging, his cock swelled behind me. Try.
Discouraged, I vaguely scanned the dance floor, uninterested until I saw a woman enter the club.
Wearing a leather catsuit that hugged her form, her wavy hair was dyed dark blue and went down to her
hips, reminding me of a comic book character. With no better option, I drew his attention to her. She
looks pretty badass.
Pressing into me, he kissed my temple. Then we should invite her to join us. Snapping his fingers,
he summoned one of the club attendants.
 When the attendant handed the woman a piece of paper, she looked up at us with a lazy, seductive
grin. Minutes later, she sat with us in the VIP section. Wedged between her and Noah at a table, I blushed,
uncertain of what to say. The woman seemed completely at ease, dominating the air around us with her
raw sexuality.
You can call me Kay, she said, fixing her attention on Noah. And you can buy me a dirty martini. I
like it dirty.
Dont tell it to me, he said, pushing my hair off my shoulder with a gentle affection that seemed out
of place in the club. Tell it to her. This is all about her.
Even better, Kay said intently, causing me to shrink.
She must have sensed my intimidation because she immediately eased up. Ill drop the act. Clearly,
naughty talk is not what youre looking for. Her eyes moved to Noah then back at me. Dont do anything
you dont want to do. I often see girls in here pressured by their boyfriends for a threesome. Im game, but
only if its what you truly desire.
Hes not my boyfriend, I mumbled, but I did feel better. I already admired her audacity, but her
candor made me like her even more. My intrigue peaked. Im glad youre here.
Good, she said, relaxing into her seat. She addressed Noah. Forget the martini. Ill have a beer.
Are you from Chicago? I asked, realizing we werent going anywhere anytime soon, not if we were
ordering drinks. Well, she was. I was still forbidden to drink.
Born-and-bred, she answered. My brothers actually went to boarding school with Noah here. Or is
it Corey? I could never tell you guys apart.
My mouth dropped open. You guys know each other? I asked, stunned.
No, she replied. I know of the Stafford brothers, mostly from the events the boarding school put on,
but they dont know me.
Its a big city, but its a small town, Noah commented.
Strangely, it made me even more comfortable around her. We were both outsiders looking in. Do you
come to this club a lot?
Not enough, she said wryly. What about you?
Im new to town. This is the second time Ive been here, but its not really my scene.
With the energy of a fellow tigress, she scrutinized me. Are you sure youre not just doing this to
please him, the macho businessman telling the new girl what to do?
Noah didnt seem at all offended, but he answered for me. Imogen does what she wants. Shes a
rebel. I couldnt tame her if I tried.
Knowing how he thrived off structure, I wasnt surprised that he thought of me that way, but I
wondered if his opinion would change if he knew how much I wanted to settle down and live a peaceful
life. It was his idea to come here, but I freely followed. Im curious, I admitted, both to her and myself.
Reaching towards me, Kay seized a piece of my hair that I had tucked behind my ear and brought it
forward so that it hung around my eyes, like hers did. Then forget the beer, and lets satisfy your
curiosity.
Pushing her chair aside, she sat on my lap, facing me. Nervous, my breath caught in my throat. I hadnt
expected to be doing this here, out in the open. Dont worry, she said. I only bite if you ask me to.
Before I had a chance to reply, she lightly tugged on my hair so that my head tilted and she kissed my
neck. Her lips didnt have the same firmness as Noahs, they were soft and delicate, like the lotus
blossom. It was nice, but I didnt feel any arousal.
Beside us, Noah watched, but I didnt get the sense of a man who was turned on. He was more like my
bodyguard protecting me.
When she kissed my neck again, I giggled. I couldnt help it. But then I remembered the lesson Noah
had taught me about releasing my inhibitions, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the tender caress of her lips
against my pulse. It made me smile.
Thats enough, Noah said gruffly, standing. The experiment is over.
But we just got started, Kay objected, winking at me.
Youll find others you can play with, Noah barked, insinuating it was somehow her fault any of this
was happening.
Is it over? she asked me.
I cringed. Yeah. Im sorry.
Never apologize, she told me firmly as she hopped off my lap. Especially for someone else.
Ill put a thousand-dollar tab on the bar for you, Noah offered.
Dont bother. Im here to have fun, not to be bought. I can pay for my own drinks. Later, she said to
me, smiling. Ignoring Noah, she returned downstairs to the dance floor.
Back in the car, Noah clenched his jaw, clearly upset. We wont be going back there, he fumed,
clicking his neck. It was not like him to show such emotion. I liked it. It reminded me that he wasnt a sexy
clone, but a sexy human being.
Why? I asked, challenging him, hoping I could get him to reveal how he truly felt about me.
We just wont. Im done with that place.
Are you mad at me?
Of course not. The opposite. Im very much not mad at you, and thats what makes me so frustrated.
His answer wasnt good enough for me. That makes no sense, and you know it. We both know why
we wont be going back to the club. You just wont admit it.
He ran a hand through his hair, messing up his perfect style, but then he regained his composure, sitting
up straight as he adjusted the sleeves of his suit. Thats not what this is about, he said, a statue once
more. This agreement is temporary.
Blinking back the hurt I felt, I fell into silence. If Noah refused to express his true emotions, then
neither would I. We could go on pretending that neither of us cared what happened after the year was
over.
 CHAPTER TWELVE

For once, the sun was out, shining over the land like the end of a fairytale. Limping, I dragged two cans
of paint with me into the Stafford Estate. Jumping over the fence, Id come off the hover board a little too
fast and had crash-landed onto the lawn. The weeds and tall grass had broken my fall, and theyd also
saved my paint cans from splattering everywhere. My intention was to paint the formal sitting room, not
the shambles of the yard.
Id been to Stafford Estate a few times, planning my visits around Noahs schedule. With the World
Science Convention around the corner, Noah was busy sitting in meetings so classified even I couldnt
attend. Not because he didnt trust me, but because he was afraid of someone hacking into the system I
used to take my notes and stealing the information. Thinking about it, I probably could have gone with him
to the meetings if Id asked, without my tablet, but I wasnt interested. It suited me very well to sneak
away to the estate. In many ways, it had become my refuge. Everything about my life in Chicago was ruled
by the Stafford brothers. Getting the interview. Being hired. Even the apartment I lived in. Stafford Estate
was no different, but out here all alone, my thoughts were my own.
Grunting, I set the paint cans down in the sitting room and sat on one of the couches to let my foot rest
for a minute, recovering from my bad landing. In a previous visit, using a ladder Id bought at a hardware
store in the town nearby, Id taped up all the crown molding in preparation for today. The walls had been
filthy. Patches maintained the brilliant white they had once been, but years of neglect had mostly left them
yellowed from dust. It had taken me forever to wash them clean.
Testing my ankle to make sure it wouldnt give out, I slowly stood from the couch and began to lay out
newspaper on the floor then prepped the paint. All set, I grabbed a roller and applied the first streak.
There was no going back now.
With Lake Michigan as my inspiration, Id chosen a gray-blue color that was smoky and wistful. Like
Chicago, Milwaukee was built off the shores of Lake Michigan. The lake was something Noah and I had
shared in our upbringing, so I thought it the best color to use in the manor.
As I painted, I listened to a little portable radio Id brought and danced around with my daydreams.
One day, Id be painting the front room of a house I owned with a man who wanted to spend the rest of his
life with me. In my fantasies, that man was Noah. And the house I painted was full of sunshine, just like
today.
Halfway through my efforts, I ran out of paint, having planned for a normal-sized room, not the high
ceilings of a country manor. Picking up the lid of one of the paint cans, I snatched the hover board,
returned to my hatchback, and drove to the hardware store.
For a small suburban neighborhood, the hardware store was pretty large. The needle in the haystack, I
stood in front of the wall of paints with uncertainty. None resembled Lake Michigan.
Can I help you? a girl a few years younger than me asked. She was cute, with raven dark hair,
freckles across her nose, and vivid green eyes that made me wonder if she had some family relation to the
Staffords. I couldnt ask, not without ruining my secret.
Do you have this paint in stock? I asked her, displaying the lid I had brought with me. I bought this
in the city but ran out.
No, we dont, she said apologetically. But we can custom mix the color for you so that its an exact
match.
That would be wonderful, I told her. Does it take long?
Only a few minutes.
I followed her to a counter with a colossal mixer behind it and handed her the lid, which she scanned
with a handheld reader. Its an interesting process how the computer registers the color, she said. With
a simple scan, it tells me the exact blend of color I need to make the match.
Moving on to the mixer itself, she continued to speak as she poured a base of white into the tub. Our
eyes have light receptors that receive color thats what color is, light and our brain interprets it, but
everyone is individual, so we dont all see a single color the same. The computer does. Its congruous.
Thats why the match is perfect.
Listening to her, I grinned. You must be a scientist.
Nope, she said cheerfully. Im studying law, but I read up on anything that interests me.
Is that why youre working here? To pay your way through school?
Sure is, she said, maintaining her sunny disposition, mimicking the blue skies outside.
Her good mood was contagious. Whats your name?
Gloria, she told me, adding blue to the mix.
Hi, Gloria. Im Imogen. Youre not seeing anyone are you?
Her eyes flicked to me. Awww, arent you sweet. Im flattered, but Im more into men.
I laughed. I wasnt asking for myself. I have a friend named Peter. Hes a really smart guy, and hes
your age. I think you two would really hit it off. Would it be okay to give him your number?
Without dropping her smile, she said, Thanks, but with school and work, Im not sure I have the
time.
Trust me, hes worth the time, I encouraged.
She considered it as she chewed on her bottom lip. He is?
Yeah, hes adorable and a gentleman. And hes studying too, for his PhD, so he understands the
importance of school.
It would be nice to have someone I could talk to about the crazy things I read. Alright then, she
decided and gave me her number. I cant make any promises, but whats a simple phone call?

***

Maybe it was the sun. Maybe it was the estate. Or maybe it was my conversation with Gloria in the
hardware store, the brink of young love possibly in the air. Whatever it was, when I was finished painting
the sitting room, I didnt return to the city. I drove to my grandmas house, my childhood home.
My friends really had left the house cleaner than it was when I left Milwaukee, but no amount of
cleaning could take the age out of the house. It was a three-bedroom rambler set on a residential street
where kids could safely ride their bicycles and cars could be parked outside the garage with no fear of
theft. Throwing my purse down on the floral couch, I went to the kitchen and got a glass of water, thirsty
after the long drive.
Impulse had brought me here, stirred by emotions I didnt want to confront. I bit my lip. For the first
time since the storm, I doubted my decision to extend my agreement with Noah. Lines were starting to
blur. His seduction was no longer an intrigue; it was the center of my happiness. It wasnt healthy, but I
couldnt let go.
The fear of loneliness was my biggest inhibition, and right now Noah was the cure, but he wouldnt
always be. When the year was over, Id be left lonelier than before, cast aside by both Stafford brothers.
In some ways, it was no different from my mother abandoning me.
My time was too valuable to waste. Julia had been right about that. I was young. There was no hurry
for me to start a family, not like Julia wanted. But I did want to settle down. Chicago was not settling
down. Savage and sensual, it was the exact opposite, luring people out of their sanctuaries, forcing them
to confront their darkest desires.
Milwaukee was safe. I could move back. Julia would understand. She was only a two-hour drive
away. I could visit her, and she could stay with me whenever she wanted. It may mean Id be stuck
flipping burgers, but at least I wouldnt be haunted by a clock that was ticking down.
Needing the distraction, I sat on the couch and read through old National Geographic magazines, some
that dated back years. The beauty of science was that it never got old. Knowledge of the world increased,
but the foundations of science remained the same. The bees built their hives the same every year, the
porcupine grew its spikes, and the birds soared in the skies with their hollow bones.
I fell asleep on the couch but woke an hour later with the sudden urge to go to the senior center and be
surrounded by familiar faces. It was only a fifteen-minute walk down the street, but it felt strange walking
on my own. Every other time before, my grandma had been with me, holding my hand as a child, standing
by my side when I was a teen. When she was older, I pushed her in her wheelchair.
Music blasted from the center as I jogged up the steps. It wasnt unusual, the seniors really knew how
to live, the only way a generation who had witnessed so many wars could, but the strobe lights above the
entrance was peculiar.
Whats going on? I asked the nurse at the front desk as I signed in.
Its a disco, she informed me. Its something new we do on the first weekend of the month. For
those who cant hear very well, and there are many here, they can feel the vibrations of the music through
the floor.
Thats such a good idea, I said. Especially with the group that you have.
The nurse threw her head back laughing. You know them just as well as I do, Imogen. Theyre rowdy,
but theyre sweet. The disco is almost over. Feel free to go inside.
Deciding to avoid the necessity to shout over the noise of the party, I went to the reading room instead
and ran my hand along the books until I heard the music stop. Slowly, the seniors poured out of the door of
the cafeteria, smiling broadly. Obviously, they had enjoyed themselves. Many greeted me and made me
promise to visit more often, but the one face I was looking for, I couldnt find. Worried, I went into the
cafeteria and was relieved to see him there, the man in the checkered shirt. George, I said. Its so nice
to see you.
For a man in his late eighties, he moved around quite well as he picked up the trash left over from the
disco. Imogen, he called, his glassy eyes sparkling. Now my day is complete. What a delight to see
you, my dear.
I went to a table and gathered empty plastic cups, which smelled like they had been full of apple juice
and water, but there were a few that I was certain had contained something stronger, likely from my
grandmas group of friends.
So what brings you back? George asked.
I was homesick, I admitted. I needed to see you guys.
Thats because youve been gone too long. You ran away, he said, grinning, referencing the time
after my tenth birthday when I was upset about the cake. I warned you against running away.
Well, Im here now, I said and spent the rest of the evening talking with George about memories
from his past. He loved talking about his late wife, who had died young. He could speak about her for
hours, and tonight, he did.
By the time I made it back to my grandmas house, I still didnt have the peace I searched for. I would
have to go back to Chicago tomorrow and face the ticking clock. Overwhelmed, I sat on the steps of the
porch and burst into tears, my head in my arms, wishing my grandma was there. She would tell me to stop
messing around, to end my agreement with Noah, and to focus on my career, but I couldnt let Noah go. I
cared about him too much. I might even love him.
As if summoned by my thoughts of him, the company car pulled up in front of me, and Noah jumped
out. Imogen, are you okay?
I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand, which was stained blue from painting earlier. I
hoped Noah didnt see, and if he did, that he assumed the work had been done here.
What are you doing here? I asked, unable to believe he was standing in front of me.
I checked in on you. You were here, so I worried.
The microchip. Thats what he meant by checking in on me. Knowing he cared enough to drive all this
way made my heart soar, but I was still conflicted. Looking into his eyes, I searched for truths he would
not say, but they told me nothing I didnt already know.
I was homesick, I told him. Its hard without my grandma here. I used to go to her about everything.
She was a wildcat, but she always had good advice to give me.
You can always come to me, he said, and I believed he was sincere.
Except when the advice I need is about you. What would happen if I ended our agreement?
If my question upset him, he didnt let it show. We would return to being friends. I dont want to lose
you as a friend. Youre one of the few people in my life who actually improves it.
Friends, I echoed, looking down. It wasnt the answer I was looking for, but at least I knew that
when it was all over, he might not toss me aside. I had a place in his life, and so I would continue to give
him a place in mine. Its okay, I said. I dont want to end the agreement.
Comforting me with his strength, he put his arm around me and held me close. I know you feel lonely
without your family, Imogen. The flaw with happiness is that it can be taken away when those we love are
gone. With pleasure there is pain, and with pain there is pleasure. The two dont exist without each other.
Im not sure I believe that. I think happiness can exist independently from everything else.
Perhaps, he said. Ill drive you back to the city. Its time you leave your car here and let me buy
you a new one.
No, I refused, looking at the daisy stickers on the back window of my hatchback. Im not ready to
say goodbye just yet.
 CHAPTER THIRTEEN

He did what? I asked, my phone pressed hard to my ear.

Alone in Noahs apartment, I wore a silk robe the color of cherry blossoms, which he had left for me.
I talked to Julia while I looked out on the city, counting the lights that dotted the skyline as rain tapped
against the window. Noah was still at his office, but I was meant to wait for him here. With the gentleness
of the rain, it was serene.
He asked me if I wanted to meet his parents, Julia sputtered. Its a little soon for that, isnt it? I
mean, weve only been dating a few weeks. Im not sure were ready for that.
Then dont meet his parents, I counseled. If you want to wait, its okay. Dont rush it.
This is prom night all over again, she cracked. But youre right. Its okay to go at my own pace.
Pausing, she hummed. Funny, now that I say it out loud, I do kind of want to meet his parents. I just had to
know I had the choice. Thanks.
Thats what sisters are for, I said, tracing a drop of rain as it drizzled down the window.
Im nervous, she admitted. I mean, I dont have a family of my own. Im not in contact with any of
the foster parents I lived with growing up. If this progresses as far as it might, then his family could
potentially one day be my family. That kinda freaks me out.
My heart melted for her. Dont worry. Im sure theyll love you.
Its not about whether they like me; its about whether I like them.
In good humor, I rolled my eyes, even though she couldnt see me. Well, Im sure youll like them.
And if you dont, remember its about you and Ronald. Its not about anyone else. Its not about his family
or your family. Or his lack of family or your lack of family. Its just about you two.
Youre so wise, she said, her voice almost a sigh. How come you didnt attend Harvard? I wish
we had been roommates in college. Can you imagine the stories wed have to share?
We already have stories we can share, I said as my line beeped. Hey Julia, thats Peter. He might
have a message from Noah. Do you mind if we talk later?
Go. Be happy. Be free.
I smiled, knowing she said so only because she was happy and free.
Hi, I said, answering the line.
In reply, I heard a very boyish shout. I loooove you! Peter declared. I love you, and Im not afraid
to admit it. But like a sister, of course. Itd be weird otherwise. Thank you so much for giving me Glorias
number. Gloria is, well, shes glorious. Im so excited!
Giggling, I wondered if he had illegally chugged down a bottle of bourbon. Im glad you guys hit it
off. Are you still at the office?
 Yeah. Its really intense with the convention next week. I could drop a needle, and I would probably
startle the entire building.
Dont let it ruin your good mood, I said, yawning.
He heard it. Get some rest. Youll need it before the convention. We all will. Without another word,
he hung up.
It was the first time Id been alone in the apartment for so long. By making me wait here, I wondered
if Noah was putting me in a cage, his little bird that he was keeping track of. But no. Noah didnt like
cages. Requiring me to obey his rules was his way of setting me free.
I wasnt sure I wanted to be as free as everyone thought I did. If settling down meant being trapped,
maybe living in a cage wasnt so bad. A cage was safe. It protected those inside. And their families.
Needing a distraction from my thoughts, I explored rooms I had never been in. Given everything he
demanded of me, I figured I was at liberty to hunt around. But there was nothing really of interest, just a
lot of expensive things tucked away in expensive cabinets, never to see the light of day. But Noah wasnt
about the day. He was about the night.
Eventually, I made my way into Noahs bedroom and to a closet door that he never opened when I was
around. It was the width of his mattress with sliding walnut doors that matched the railings of his
headboard. Intrigued, I went to the closet, but it was locked. Not one to back down from a challenge, I
took a hair pin from my pocket and tried to jimmy it open, but it wouldnt budge.
You know you cant break into a digital lock with a hair pin, Noah said, finding me in the room.
I whirled around, my heart leaping when I saw him, but not because I was embarrassed. My snooping
was his fault for leaving me alone for so long. Curiosity was bound to get the better of me. It was his pure
masculinity, the power of his smile, and the smolder in his eyes that made me breathless.
Whats in there? I asked, pointing toward the closet.
Im so glad you asked, he said, undoing his tie and tucking it away in a drawer with others, all
neatly lined up in a row. Tonights lesson is pain tolerance.
I nearly sank onto the floor.
I dont like the sound of that. Ive experienced enough pain in my life, I said defiantly, straightening
my spine.
Youve experienced emotional pain, but Im talking about physical pain, the kind that can bring you
pleasure. Trust me and soon all youll know is incredible joy.
He punched a code into the lock, and the door to the closet slid open. My knees went weak when I
saw what was inside, and I fell to the bed, winded. Unlike Stafford Scientific and almost everything else
Noah owned, there was nothing futuristic about the closet. It was as if hed opened a portal to medieval
times. Whips, straight-jackets, and muzzles hung imperiously from long racks that stretched the length of
the closet. These werent nice toys. There were no pink bunnies or colorful little vibrators. They were
sleek, and they were mean.
I dont want to do this, I baulked. I think this is one level too far.
I promised you joy, and I meant it. I wont hurt you. If you feel at all frightened, you can tell me to
stop. This is something we can experience together.
Already alarmed, I looked away, unable to face whatever torture he had designed for me. Noah,
please. I cant.
You can. With his gaze fixed on me, silently reassuring me, he moved closer. Have I ever made you
feel anything but euphoric?
No, I answered truthfully.
He knelt in front of me and cupped his strong hands on the sides of my face, steadying me. Thats
because everything I do is for your benefit.
Peering past his shoulder, back into the closet, I saw something that enticed me. Hanging next to the
whips was a set of shackles, chains that could bind a person down. I could be Andromeda. I could be the
Chained Maiden.
I can tell you when to stop? I asked, my curiosity defeating my fear.
Yes. Anytime.
Are we supposed to think of a word or something?
He grinned. No, you can just say stop. This isnt a fetish. Its a lesson. The more pain you can
tolerate, the more pleasure you can experience.
Standing, I strode into the closet, straight to the chains. Only if you restrain me with these, I said,
running my hand beneath them until they swayed against the wall.
Noah beamed, lust radiating off of him as bright as the sun. Thats a condition Ill gladly oblige, he
agreed, needing no coercion. Now come here.
Bringing the chains with me and setting them on the bed, I faced Noah, allowing him to take charge.
Kneeling before me, he wrapped his arms around my waist, behind the wings of my robe. I wasnt
wearing a bra, only a red lace thong, the color of cherries, leaving my breasts exposed and at his mercy.
He rubbed his nose against my nipples then grazed them slightly with his tongue, but then he turned his
focus to my naval, lightly biting and licking the skin around it as he lifted his arms, forcing my robe to
slide off my shoulders.
Rising, he kissed me, his tongue fiercely wrestling mine, reminding me of his strength and dominance.
Molten, I shuddered in his arms, powerless to him. With his sovereignty over me, he grabbed the chains
from the bed and clasped the cuffs around my wrists. They were heavy, dragging my arms down, but not
as heavy as my desire.
Youll enjoy this, he declared, kissing each wrist then surprising me by taking the tie from my robe
and wrapping it around my eyes.
Blindfolded, I could sense everything around me the softness of the rug beneath my bare feet, the
gentle caress of the air conditioner on my back, and the musky cologne Noah wore, the scent of which
made my core flush its needy yearnings across my body. Inhaling it, my knees felt weak and achy, eager to
feel his flesh against mine, to wallow in more of his luscious kisses.
With the strength of his sturdy, virile arms, Noah picked me up and sat me on the bed, arranging my
body until I was on all fours, my knees sinking into the cushion of the mattress, molding me as if I were
made of rubber.
Keep your back straight, he ordered, his low sexy voice a pendulum that entranced me, made me his
slave.
The bed shook, and I heard the click of the chains being secured to the railings of his headboard.
Moments later, Noahs breath was vapor on my thighs as he pulled the lace of my thong to the side,
exposing my pink flesh until I was completely at his mercy. Torturing me, he traced the borders of my
crevasse with a moistened finger, slowly circling around until I was sodden, impatient for him to taste me.
Turning onto his back, he slid between my legs until his lips and tongue were close to my opening, I was
tempted to press down on his face, but that went against the rules. I was his chained maiden. He was my
lord.
Digging his fingers into my backside, he held me in place, a statement of the ultimate authority he had
over me. I couldnt move, even if I wanted to. Long and slow, he finally stroked my inner folds with his
tongue, his exploration of me intimate and plundering. Moaning as he lapped my inner lips, I bucked my
hips and arched my back, my body buzzing with delirious carnality.
Gripping my ass tighter, he moved on to my clit, circling his tongue around the bud as I dripped my
arousal into his mouth. Rapacious, he devoured me, spurring a joy that connected my pussy to the rest of
my body to a point of near explosion. Whimpering with ecstasy, I tried to touch him, but my chains clinked
against the headboard, preventing me from moving, leaving me to swim greedily in rapture as my clit
swelled.
When he slipped his tongue into my opening, churning in and out, my body reached its breaking point.
A gush of euphoria washed over me, and I came, crying out my gratification.
Imogen, he murmured. Every part of you is so beautiful.
Behind the blindfold, I couldnt see where he was going. I could only hear the rustle of the bed sheets
as he prepared to continue the lesson. My thighs were wet, but I was ready for more of his raw sex, my
breath like a gale. Nearby, a drawer opened and closed, and the sound of a wrapper being torn opened
invaded the room.
Soon, Noahs hands encircled my ankles, and he pulled me down so that I was resting on my stomach,
the mattress like a cloud beneath my breasts. Rock hard, his cock skimmed the back of my thigh, prodding
me, exploring his options. There were two openings available to him, and I couldnt care less which one
he chose. I just wanted his cock inside of me, filling me, making me whole.
A cold gel splattered onto my legs, and I jolted then relaxed, enjoying the way it made my skin tingle.
He rubbed the gel over my ass and between my thighs, kindling my flesh, making it pulse viciously.
Coated with the lubricant, he slid his finger around the rim of my ass, testing my sensitivity. My nerve
endings lit, it was as arousing as if he was raiding my pussy. I arched my back, opening up to him, inviting
him to spear me at his will.
You temptress, he rasped and sank a finger into me. I cried out when he added another, scissoring
them to stretch me, make me ready for him.
Roughly, he hooked his arm around my waist and angled my backside up to meet his cock, my thong
still pushed to the side. I pulled against the chains but couldnt move, couldnt escape, as his cock pushed
between the cheeks of my ass.
Breathe, Imogen, he urged me as he pushed, and the very tip of him penetrated the first layers of my
anus. The pressure was excruciating, stretching me out, but it was also sinfully pleasing. Breathing heavy,
I waited with fervid anticipation for him to plunge himself all the way into me, but he held back. Instead,
he used his free hand to find my engorged clit as his tip continued to tease me. Supporting myself on my
elbows, I pushed back, impaling myself on his cock. I cried out as I stretched around him, taking the entire
head. Stopping, I gave my body more time to adjust.
Mmm, so tight. So beautiful, he said, a hand tracing down my spine.
His words encouraged me, and I forced my body to relax. Pain and pleasure warred with each and I
wanted more. So much more.
Naughty girl, he chastised as I pressed back farther, taking another inch. I yelped as his hand came
down on my exposed flesh and the sound of it cracked around the room. Your sweet ass isnt ready to
feel all of me, not yet.
 I groaned in disappointment and relief when he pulled out. There was another rip of what sounded
like a new condom, then he was back, rolling us onto our sides. He plunged, this time into my pussy, using
his hold on my waist to sink so deep. My arms were lifted in the air, bound by the chains, allowing me the
freedom to once again indulge in the pleasure he sent shooting up my spine each time he collided into me,
a jolt that heightened my electricity.
With a steady pace, he fucked me, piercing my flesh with his firm warmth. Unraveling one arm from
my waist, he cupped my breast and pinched my nipple, tugging it, causing a fire to radiate from my breast
to my shoulder and down to my already swollen core. A tremor took over my body as I approached my
climax, and I oscillated my hips against his, increasing the force of impact of his cock within me. He
fucked me hard, causing the bed to shake, until we both moaned in orgasm, my pussy clenching over him
as we came.
Gasping, I shuddered and sank into his arms as far as the chains allowed. With a feather-light touch,
he stroked the patch of skin beneath my ear, recovering. Dont get too comfortable, he warned. That
was the pleasure. Next comes the pain.
Im ready, I told him, ravenous for more.
Later, he said, sliding out of me. I have to go to work for a little while. Ill be back soon. The bed
shifted as he got off.
Youre just going to leave me like this?
Ill do as I please, he said, sounding as if he were across the room. No more talking. Youre
forbidden from saying another word until I release you to.
I exhaled, trying to remain calm. Can you at least take the blindfold off?
There was no answer. Noah was gone.

***

Footsteps revealed that Noah had returned. I had no idea what hour it was. I existed in an eternal night.
The clatter of an object being set on the side table pinched at me after Id acclimatized to the silence of
being alone. Forbidden to speak, I mentally willed him to say something so that I could hear the comfort
of his voice, even knowing he was about to bring me pain.
Sloshing noises sparked my interest, and then a damp washcloth coasted across my thigh, cleansing
me. The water was warm, relaxing my muscles while invigorating the heat in my body. With tender,
affectionate strokes, Noah glided it up towards my navel and down between my thighs, refreshing my
body before the lesson to come, as if purifying a sacrifice for the gods.
Dropping the washcloth back into what I assumed was a bowl of water based on the noise, he finished
bathing me. Seconds later, there was a sharp tug as he unhooked my chains from the headboard and yanked
me off the mattress. With my wrists protruding forward, he paraded me out of the bedroom. A floral
fragrance filtered across the hall, and as I walked, the pads of my feet stepped upon what felt like the
smooth surface of flower petals. It was impossible to know which ones while blindfolded, but history
made me suspect they were lotus blossoms. Their scent and shape were familiar from my first night at the
club.
We turned into a room that was stuffy and humid, lacking fresh air. Id walked the halls enough to
recall the layout of the penthouse. Three rooms were completely windowless the one with the single
piece of art, a storage room that was overstuffed with neatly organized boxes, and a round room that stood
empty.
 Standing behind me, Noah grazed my neck with his kisses, moving up to my earlobe, which he
playfully nibbled at before removing the blindfold. You may speak now, he permitted.
The light was dim, a soft yellow glow, but it hurt my eyes. It took a while for them to adjust after the
darkness of the blindfold. We were in the round room. With the exception of the lotus blossoms, there was
nothing within it. Did Noah mean to lock me in here, making it my own personal torture chamber? I
shuddered thinking about it. The last few hours, however long they may have been, had been agony
enough.
I dont understand, I said, fretful. What is this about?
Endorphins, Noah revealed and led me to the back of the room, where for the first time I noticed a
radiator that was the width of a coffee table. White like the walls, it had been camouflaged.
Endorphins? I asked. Those are pleasure hormones. I thought this part of the lesson was about
pain.
It is, but when I tell you pleasure and pain are closely related, I dont mean it in simple terms. Its
biological. You can use pain to stimulate endorphins.
Untwisting the ends of the chain so that it was split in two, he fastened each to opposite sides of the
radiator so that my arms were spread out and I faced the wall, my chestnut hair falling in waves down my
bare back, almost touching the string of my thong.
Im going to flog you, Imogen, Noah revealed.
I gasped. Youre going to beat me?
Of course not. There is a sting, but its not violent. Its like being spanked, but with an implement.
I swallowed nervously. I think Id rather be spanked by hand.
In time, he replied with his thick provocative throatiness and walked out of the room, leaving me to
fear the worse about what he was going to do to me.
Like when hed gone to work, he used time to torture me. Foreplay, it ticked on for what seemed like
an eternity but was likely less than an hour before he returned.
Across my arm, strands of leather lightly brushed my skin. Like a palm tree, they were attached to a
rich ebony handle. The flogger didnt seem savage, not when it currently tickled my skin, ripening the
nerves that carried pleasure through my body.
Beside me, as he enticed me with the flogger, Noah was as immaculate as when hed left for the
office. He no longer wore his suit jacket, but his dress shirt was pristine, a match to his perfect white
teeth. He was so robust and sexy that I sometimes had trouble believing hed chosen me. I gladly handed
my body over to him, even if he turned out to be a gorgeous sadist.
Circling behind me, he moved my hair aside with a tender fondness, exposing my back.
Beg, he ordered. Tell me what you would do for the pleasure Im about to deliver. Tell me you
want it.
I did want it. The pain and the reward. My body quivered, the brew of fear and anticipation
intoxicating my mind more than alcohol ever could.
Ill do anything, sir, I answered.
He grabbed me around the waist, his teeth sinking into my shoulder before he kissed and licked the
pain away. Do you give yourself to me?
All of myself, I whispered, shaking. Im yours.
 Empty air replaced him as he stepped back, and before I could brace myself, he lashed me on the meat
of my buttocks. I yelped, but more out of surprise than pain. It stung, but it was tolerable.
Another lash. Blood rushed down to my core, and as I breathed through the pain, I began to understand
why the flogger was an implement of desire. The sting of the lash caused endorphin-infused blood to
pump through my hips and thighs, inciting an insatiable need for release.
Struck a third time, even harder, I cried out as gluttonous satisfaction rushed through my body,
swelling my pussy and breasts, awakening me in a way that was powerful and delicious.
I think youve learned your lesson, he said huskily after hed lashed me several more times.
I wanted to tell him I hadnt. That I wanted more.
Before I could find the words, he placed one hand on the handle of the flogger while the other
clutched the leather strands together. He tucked the implement between my legs and rubbed my clit with it,
sawing the material back and forth until I combusted, my sap covering the leather with my convulsions.
See, he said, caressing my backside lightly with the flogger, a gentleness after the severity of his
lesson. Everything I do is for you.
 CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Worried, I watched from the car window as the industrialized buildings and cheap hotels blurred past
us. Earlier in the morning, Id received a surprise phone call from Noah telling me he was downstairs. We
didnt have any plans. With the World Science Convention only a few days away, I had assumed Noah
was out of reach unless I was in the office with him. He wouldnt tell me where we were going,
reminding me that I had agreed to trust him. Leaving the city, I feared we headed for Stafford Estate. The
work I had been doing there was meant to be a surprise. I didnt want him to see it until it was finished.
This looks like the way to the manor, I tested him, trying to come across as nonchalant so I didnt
give myself away.
Would you like us to go there? he asked with good humor, his gaze locked onto me, studying my
reaction as much as I did his.
He knows, I thought. Hes baiting me so that Ill reveal my secret before he destroys the surprise.
I shrugged. Makes no difference to me. Youre the boss. Wherever you go, Ill follow. I have to. Im
stuck in the car with you.
Laughing, he rubbed my arm, the most affectionate hed been since I got into the car, but then he
became serious once more, treating me like he did in the office, strictly professional. It gave me hope that
the estate was not our final destination. If Noah was in work mode, then perhaps our journey had
something to do with the convention. We could be on our way to some sort of underground bunker for a
classified meeting where there was no fear of anyone stealing Noahs patents.
Youre daydreaming, he observed. Somewhere far away.
Not too far. You were there.
Where?
An underground bunker.
He sat back. Were not heading to an underground bunker.
Then where? I pressed.
Wherever I please, he said regally. Dont question me again. Its not your place to, not according
to our agreement.
I squinted at him, contemplative. This is another lesson. Thats why youre being a tyrant.
Careful, he warned, or Ill forbid you to speak again.
I grinned, remembering. Are you going to chain me up as well?
That was your request, and I obliged. He lost a smidgen of his composure, his eyes flaring with
unmistakable lechery.
Will you ever let me chain you up? I challenged. There are things I could do that you would never
forget.
Somehow, he kept total control. As tempting as that sounds, my job is to provide you with pleasure,
not the other way around.
It would appear you make a habit of it, I said, not believing that I let it slip out.
What do you mean by that? he asked, frowning though his tone remained steady.
Work is your priority, more mistress than me. It governs your every waking hour, constantly
summoning you. I know youre trying to save lives with new technologies, but what about your own?
Dont you want a source of happiness beyond the walls youve built around you? Like a family? Or
travel?
The green of his eyes darkened. I had obviously hit a nerve. Im not my brother. I never will be.
Come on, Noah, I said, folding my arms. You know thats not what I mean. Lots of people travel.
And therere other ways to have fun. Poker. Bingo. Camping.
I dont have time for those activities, he argued.
He was insufferable. Thats my point. Give yourself the time. Its precious.
Clenching his jaw, he adjusted the cufflinks of his suit, visibly troubled. Time is precious. Thats
why I dedicate mine to my work. While I live in luxury, there are many in squalor. The world needs
answers more than it needs another billionaire cruising around on a yacht. Not everyone has the privilege
of time.
But Noah, I said, softening my tone, You cant fix every problem on your own. Even Superman
needs help. Thats why hes in the Justice League.
Relaxing, his shoulders fell slightly forward. I guess my company is a sort of league.
A league of scientists! I declared brightly. But seriously, you really should wander the halls of your
company some more. Theres no reason you need to sit all alone in your throne room.
It commands respect, he said, though he didnt sound as certain as he usually did. With respect,
there is efficiency. No time is wasted between departments fighting over what to do. I make all the
decisions.
Which is efficient, until youre sick and cant work. Im not saying hand your control over to others,
Ive hung around you long enough to know that will never happen, but you can delegate some of your
responsibilities, make the load lighter so that you have more time to focus on the important stuff, like
finding answers.
I think nanotechnology is an answer, he confided.
A big one, I said, gauging his tone. Youre passionate about it, like a boy playing with model
rockets, but it goes deeper. Those closest to you have noticed it. It affects you on a personal level. Thats
why you bid to host the World Science Convention in Chicago this year. This hits close to home, in more
ways than one.
I stopped, trying to read Noahs expression, but he remained impassive, so I continued. What is it?
You can tell me. Are you waging some sort of war or something? Invisible robots who can crawl through
the noses of your enemies?
I meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, but Noah took it gravely. It is a war, of sorts, he admitted.
But its not something Im willing to discuss with you.
Breathing deep, I tried not to take it personally. Because I wouldnt understand?
Because I could lose you, he stated firmly, gripping me with his intensity. Its selfish, but thats the
way it is.
Okay, I accepted, backing off.
Secretly, I was thrilled at his confession. Noah cared. Maybe, he even loved. That didnt mean we had
a future together, but it did give meaning to the time we had.
So what is the lesson? I asked, returning to our earlier conversation. What level am I on now?
Total submission.
My entire body warming, I smiled and set my hand on his knee, massaging his thigh, inching up to the
power of his groin. I thought we covered that last time.
Like a lizard catching a fly, he slapped his hand down on mine, another lash. The flogger taught you
pleasure and pain. Today is about obedience. You must do what I say, no matter what.
I glanced down at my clothes. When hed woken me with his phone call, Noah had instructed me to
dress casual, so I had, with a pair of beat-up tennis shoes on my feet, jeans and a concert T-shirt over the
rest of me. Noah, of course, was razor sharp in his suit.
I dont think I dressed accordingly, I said.
You look great, he assured me.
I perked up. Enough to start casual Friday?
Never in a million years. With vehemence, he captured my gaze once again, his hand squeezing the
top of my own. Theres no turning back, Imogen, he said. Tell me that no matter where we end up,
youll do as I say.
I will, I agreed. Whatever you say.
Good, he said, and to my discouragement, he moved my hand away from his lap, gently setting it
back onto my own, as solemn looking as ever.
The gala sounds like fun, I noted, trying not to lose the amiability of the morning.
He smiled, but he kept his distance. Its full of nonsensical chatter. A woman as intelligent as you
will likely be bored.
Disappointed, I dropped my eyes. I thought I was attending with you.
You are. He lifted my chin with his finger. Imogen Clare, will you go to the gala with me?
Feeling mischievous, my humor returning, I replied, Noah Stafford, are you proposing to me.
He didnt flinch. Its a type of proposition.
Then yes, I accepted. I will be your arm candy at the gala.

***

Far beyond Stafford Estate, the suburbs of the city were exchanged for flat plains and rustic farmlands,
where wheat grew tall and proud, and tractors were as common as pick-up trucks. The mellow Midwest.
We drove for hours, through small towns and county borders until I no longer had any sense of where
we were. The landscape changed. Farmlands remained a pastoral staple, but green hillsides rose from the
land, encompassing the cattle and donkeys that grazed in their shadows. Along the roads were fields of
butterfly weed and Lenten rose, which grew alongside oats, corn, and snap beans. It was wholesome,
connecting me deeply to the earth.
Are we in Wisconsin? I asked uncertainly, recognizing the formation of the land but having never
traveled to wherever we were now.
Northwest of Milwaukee, Noah specified.
Ive never been this close to the Canadian border. If Im leaving town, its always to head south.
Or east, I mused, thinking of Thailand. For the first time in weeks, I wondered where Corey was and
if he was safe. Well, relatively safe. As reckless as he was, I doubted he was ever completely out of
danger.
Ill find you, Imogen. You know I will.
Startled, I shook the ghost away.
Or maybe I have been here. For some reason, I just experienced a flash back to when I was little, I
rambled, grounding my thoughts. I ran around in a pumpkin patch, and my grandma made some comment
about how cold northern skies were.
You should write it down. Maybe itll inspire more memories.
There are too many of them. Thats the problem. I had a great childhood, I said lightheartedly,
content with my nostalgia.
If pumpkin patches were involved, then I would say so.
What about you? Did you ever visit any pumpkin patches?
No, he answered indifferently. But I have no qualms. We made our own fun.
He referred to Corey. I was certain of it. Never before had he spoken of his brother without an air of
disapproval. Based on the way he brightened reflecting on their boyhood, whatever had separated them
must have done so when they were adults.
Were you and Corey close? I probed, testing my hypothesis.
Very. Inseparable. He had his friends, and I had mine, but we would have done anything for each
other.
Maybe you can have that strong of a relationship again someday. I licked my lips, giving him time to
hush me. He didnt so I went on. Youre young. A lifetime is a long stretch. Im sure somewhere along
the way, Corey will return, probably when hes old and has arthritis.
Noah tapped his hand against the seat, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. Im afraid that
may never happen.
But you would like it to?
Yes, he rasped, as if a weight had fallen off his shoulders to admit it. Very much so.
Tilting, the car revved across a dirt road littered with pot holes, jolting us back and forth. It carried on
for over a mile before the road smoothed, leading past a barnyard and water tower before coming to a
stop outside a farmhouse.
Talk about a wild ride, I grumbled. Good thing I was wearing my seat belt.
Noah apologized. The last time I was here, I came by helicopter. I should have known to check.
Why didnt we come by helicopter? I was curious, though I hadnt minded the drive.
I wanted to see the countryside, and I wanted you to see it as well. Its important.
The farmhouse stood three stories tall with a wide, inviting porch that wrapped around its base, but it
was in shambles. Paint was chipped across the wood, discoloring it, and shingles hung loosely from the
rooftop. It looked as if itd got caught up in one too many tornadoes, but this was Wisconsin, not Kansas.
The yard wasnt any better. Rusted cars rotted in the back, and the bushes looked like they had never been
trimmed, but the lawn was freshly cut, showing some reverence for the place.
What is this, some sort of hippy love den?
Nothing close to that, Noah informed me. Thats not what this is about. Submission originates
outside the bedroom. Fundamentally, its a choice thats made before the whips are brought out.
His mention of whips brought a blush to my face and sparked a nervous, needy energy inside of me
that I swallowed back down, obeying his will.
Do you promise to do as I say, Imogen, no matter what? he asked again, his eyes lighting up with the
secret he was about to reveal.
Exactly as you say, I vowed, wondering what this trust exercise was all about. His enthusiasm made
me anxious, like something big was about to happen, something life-changing.
He took my hand and held it tight, as if he was comforting me. I found your family, he finally said.
Theyre waiting inside.
 CHAPTER FIFTEEN

My family is in there.
Stunned, I stared at the farmhouse, a collision of emotions silencing me. Id long given up hope this
day would come. In some ways, it was a betrayal of my grandma, as if all that she had given me wasnt
enough. But my mother was her daughter. She would have wanted us to reunite.
I know how you feel about being alone, Noah said, studying me with an intensity that had nothing to
do with seduction or power, only friendship, and maybe more. It radiated off of him as he searched my
face, undeniably making sure I was okay.
My mom is in there? I asked quietly, still shocked and finding it difficult to breathe.
No. Its your dad.
I frowned, confused. I dont know who my dad is, I objected. Noah must have made a mistake.
I did a little investigation, he said unapologetically. It was no confession, just a statement of the
facts. The man in there was a known acquaintance of your mother when she was pregnant with you.
Using some of your DNA and his, tests confirm he is your biological father. I never would have brought
you here if there was any doubt. Your father is in there.
It wasnt necessary to ask how he had gotten my DNA. I probably didnt want to know.
Im not going in, I decided. He may be my father, but hes not family. Hes a stranger.
Like flashing a sword, Noah reminded me of his authority. You agreed to do as I say. Total
submission. Im commanding you to go in there and meet your father. Its not open for discussion.
Frustrated, I mentally tried to use the Force to make him back down, but it didnt work. Noah was a
master of the Dark Side.
Fine, I surrendered, taking a deep breath, wondering if this had been Noahs intention all along with
his lessons.
Let go of inhibitions. Dont let the insecurity of meeting my father hold me back. Experimentation,
which was a formal term for considering new possibilities, including the prospect my father and I could
get along. Accept that pain can bring pleasure. It would be difficult to meet my father, but joy could be
had.
From his constant line of questioning over the last few weeks, maybe hed always intended to use his
resources to help me find my family, the true reward for agreeing to be his personal assistant. I would
have asked him directly, but upset that he was coercing me to do this unprepared, I wouldnt give him the
satisfaction.
Gathering my courage, we went to the ramshackle door and knocked. My heart pounded in my chest,
and I was nauseated, hindered by my nerves. I think Im going to be sick, I muttered to Noah as we
waited.
 An older man with silvery white hair and a slightly hunched back opened the door. He appeared to be
in his sixties. With sun-filled color to his skin and a clear complexion, he seemed to be in good health.
When he saw me, his eyes sparkled, as hazel as my own.
Mr. Bourne, Noah greeted. Id like to introduce you to your daughter, Imogen.
I know shes my daughter, the man asserted, not at all intimidated by Noah or his wealth. Look at
her. Shes the spitting image of my mother.
I am? I asked feebly, like a child looking for approval. I couldnt believe this man was my father.
My father. He was here, standing before me.
Taking a step back, he waved his hand through the door. Come in, my girl, he beckoned as if there
was no distance of time between us.
Outdated, the years peeled at the house. The wallpaper was faded, and the furniture chipped. Brown
carpeting resembled a style from decades ago. But it was tidy and clean. We went into the front room and
sat on floral couches that reminded me of my grandmas house. Dinner trays stood in front of a boxed
television set, indicating the man ate his meals alone.
Does anyone else live here? I asked, afraid he was as lonely as I had been after my grandma died,
before my move to Chicago.
No one else lives here, but I have two sons. They check in on their old man now and again. Theyre a
little older than you, from my first marriage. Im afraid your existence came as a bit of a surprise to them.
Theyre not ready to meet you yet, but they will be, one day. Youre their only sister.
I have brothers.
The excitement of being reunited with my family was finally starting to kick in. If I had brothers, then I
could potentially also have nieces and nephews, and sister-in-laws. Unless my father was an only child, I
could also have aunts and uncles. Maybe even a grandparent that was still alive. I would inquire about all
of them later. Right now, there was only one person on my mind who I had to ask about.
And my mother? Do you know where she is? I asked, more hopeful than nervous.
I do, he said rigidly and looked down. Shes gone.
My heart stopped. What do you mean shes gone?
She died about ten years ago in a car accident. Some mutual friends of ours told me about it. Im so
sorry, honey.
Numb, I didnt know how to process the news. I had never met my mother. She was a stranger to me,
and yet my heart was broken. Not for her as my mother, but for the future that could have been now that I
had a link to her. At least my grandma was getting to know her in heaven. The thought got me through the
moment, but it didnt curb the anger I suddenly felt in my grief.
Why didnt you find me? I demanded.
Not at all put off by my tone, he spoke remorsefully. I didnt know I had you. When she became
pregnant, your mother insisted you werent mine, that your father was a biker from Milwaukee. We
werent exclusive, and she had a reputation for prowling the biker bars, so I believed her. He slowly
shook his head, seemingly miles away. I stayed in touch with her for many years, and she never said a
word. How could she?
Seeing his own pain, I calmed and placed my hand over his. Maybe she truly thought the other guy
was my father. They didnt have sophisticated testing like they do now.
His eyes teared up. I know you dont know me, and I dont know you, but I would very much like it if
we could stay in touch. I always wanted a daughter.
I swallowed. Id like us to stay in touch too.
For the next few hours, while Noah sat in the car working, giving us our privacy, I learned all I could
about my father. He was a vet, drafted into Vietnam, but he chose to stay in the military long afterwards,
until he finally retired to become a farmer and mechanic. Married twice, he was now a widower.
Saying my goodbyes and promising to visit again soon, I left, exhausted. A storm of thoughts raced
through my mind and filled my heart. My life would never be the same. In a million years, I never would
have imagined my trip to Thailand would have led to this.
When the convention is over, I need to take a week off, I said to Noah as I slipped into the backseat.
Of course, he agreed, studying me as he had before, searching to make sure I was okay. The ardor of
his green eyes was like a tent, sheltering me. Have you made arrangements to spend more time with your
father?
I have, but thats not what the week is for. My mother is buried in Arizona. I want to go see her.
And you will. You can take my private jet.
Youre not going with me? I asked, surprised Noah would consider letting me travel unsupervised.
I have the company to run.
Disappointed, I slumped into my seat. Id forgotten. Work was his true mistress. Yet I couldnt be
angry with him. He had orchestrated the reunion with my family, giving me a gift I could never pay back.
Thank you, I said, locking my eyes with his until they melded together. Youve outdone yourself.
Ill always be grateful. Knowledge really can save people.
 CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I cant believe he did that for you! Julia exclaimed as we enjoyed another one of her homemade meals
in the kitchen of our apartment.
This time, she had prepared an Irish stew full of meat, carrots, and potatoes with a dash of Guinness
in the broth, claiming it was fuel to get us through the next couple of days. Our workload had tripled in
preparation for the convention. Being part of the business development department, Julia had as heavy of
a hand in the preparations as I did while Stafford Scientific prepared to formally announce its
advancement in nanotechnology.
He truly does care for you, she continued, holding a spoonful of stew in midair, visibly
contemplating the implications of Noahs actions. I think he may even love you. Wow. Thats big.
Breathing out, I set my own spoon down, my appetite missing. He may, but it doesnt change
anything. Its been made very clear to me that this agreement doesnt extend past the year. The company is
the most important thing to him; its his priority. A long-term commitment to anything outside his work
isnt an option. This isnt speculation; he said it to me directly.
Ouch, Julia muttered. Do you think the big bad billionaire is scared to love?
The idea of Noah being scared of anything was amusing. Its personal, but he refused to tell me why.
Her eyes flashed with excitement. Maybe its time we drag out the blonde wigs, do some more spy
work.
Theres nothing we would find. Noahs secret isnt coded onto some microchip somewhere. Its
vaulted in his mind.
Stafford Scientific should invent a mind-reader. Im going to suggest that at the next department
meeting, she joked before swallowing a mouthful of stew.
How did meeting Ronalds parents go? I asked, moving on. Id been so caught up in my own issues,
Id forgotten shed also had a family get-together of sorts.
Wonderful! she crooned. The dad is a little harsh. He kept asking what a woman as intelligent as
me was doing with his son, but the mom was sweet as pie. For dinner, she served a bowl full of country-
style baked beans because she had read that Boston was known as Bean Town. She wanted me to feel at
home.
So you like them?
I love them. Whats happening between Ronald and me is such a whirlwind, but sometimes it takes a
tornado to unravel whats meant to be. Im really happy with him. I just hope he doesnt disappoint me.
Thats a natural fear to have, I told her, but seeing how much he wanted you to meet his family, Id
say he feels the same way you do.
Im certain he does, but sometimes love isnt enough. Look at you and Noah. Men dont always
realize what they have until its gone.
That hadnt been the case with Corey. I had left, and he hadnt followed. Struck by a thought, my belly
tightened in knots. Maybe Corey wasnt supposed to return to the Midwest with me. Maybe I was meant to
stay in Thailand with him. If I had, I wouldnt be in love with a man uninterested in a long-term
commitment. Id be settled, traveling the world with the rebel Stafford brother, his tattooed arms holding
me beneath stars that werent replicated on a ceiling but were real, a product of their own light.
But then I never would have met my father.
My head began to pound, and I pushed my bowl away.
Everything okay? Julia asked.
Theres something I havent told you. Peter knows, but only because he figured it out on his own.
Corey and I were more than friends in Thailand. I mean, we werent in a relationship or anything, and we
didnt sleep together. I left before we had a chance to. But there was something momentous between us.
Its hard to explain. Like a spider to its web. If anyone can understand, I think you can. Things between
you and Ronald heated up quickly.
That it did, Julia acknowledged. She seemed a little disturbed.
What is it?
Is Noah a replacement for Corey?
Of course not, I said with absolute certainty. Ive gotten to know Noah way better than I did Corey.
I love Noah for who he is, not the brother he looks like.
Bypassing the fact that Id just declared my love for Noah out loud, Julia asked, Then why do you
still talk of Corey with stars in your eyes?
I was caught. Because Corey could have offered me something Noah cant. Commitment. Before I got
on my flight home, Corey promised to find me. I really believed he would, especially after I was hired at
Stafford Scientific, but I havent heard from him, and he clearly isnt here, nor has he been in many years,
so Ive heard.
I hate to say it, but the email he sent to Mr. Stafford did have an air of finality about it. A man doesnt
ask another man to take care of his girl unless he doesnt plan on coming back.
I know, I conceded. The promises he made were never going to be lived up to.
Then why does it still bother you? Now that youve been in Noahs bed, isnt the situation moot?
I cant help but wonder if I should have stayed in Thailand. It hasnt been that long since I was there.
I can go back, and I can find him. He would never have to know about my agreement with Noah. Its not
like they chat or anything, I blathered, my mouth flying as my war of emotions got the better of me.
Considering what a maverick he is, hed probably be miserable here. Wed have ended up traveling
anyway.
Imogen, slow down, Julia said, standing. She moved to my side of the table and put her arms around
me, offering comfort. I think youre running. Noah has just done an incredible thing for you, and it scares
you because of this front he puts up, claiming hes not interested in a long-term relationship. Noah loves
you. Its so obvious its blinding. And this is only the beginning. You still have almost an entire year
together. Forget what he says now. When the time comes that he could lose you, hell be at your door
begging for you to stay.
It helped. Thanks, I said, smiling weakly. Crises over.
Good, she said. Now eat your stew. The convention is going to kick all our asses.
 ***

Holding a black garment bag over my shoulder, I hurried behind Noah and Peter into the hotel where the
World Science Convention would be held the next morning. The hotel was stupendous, a beautiful
collision of antique gold embellishments and contemporary furnishings designed simply, an undertone to
the cascading chandeliers and textured wallpaper. Beneath the thin soles of my slippers, the rich burgundy
carpet was lush, like the grass of a meadow.
I can take that for you, Peter offered for the zillionth time, reaching for my garment bag.
Im not incapable of carrying my own gown, I said with a reassuring smile. Ever since the bellhop
had taken our luggage, Peter seemed a bit lost, as if he were unaccustomed to being idle when Noah stood
so close.
At reception, a woman with her hair pinned back into a tight bun and wearing dark red lipstick greeted
us. When she saw Noah, her mouth dropped. I didnt blame her. In his custom-designed suit that fit his
body like a glove, he could be standing in a pile of garbage and women would throw their panties at him.
Here, amongst the elegance of the hotel, he was like a god in Olympus.
Reservation for Stafford, I said, but she was already typing his name into the computer.
Announcing our arrival gave me deja vu. It bugged me, but I didnt figure out why, not until the next
receptionist down the line spoke into his phone. Im sorry. We cant accommodate any reservation
changes this late in the game. The hotel is fully booked for the convention.
Quickly, I turned to Noah. I have something to tell you, I said like lightening, trying to beat our
receptionist to the punch. Before she transferred to another department, Julia made a little upgrade to my
room. And Peters. It was only meant to be a joke. I would have changed it back to the original
reservation, but I completely forgot about it until now.
Calm down, Noah instructed. I know about it, and I also made a few alterations. Were all in the
same suite, the best the hotel has to offer.
Exhaling, I straightened my garment bag across my shoulder. Of course he knew about Julias
audacious call. He was Noah Stafford. If a mouse sneezed, hed probably detect it.
Does that mean we get to keep the bottle of champagne? I chanced. It had been so long since Id
tasted alcohol. I didnt count the Guinness in the stew Julia had served, mostly because Id barely touched
it, and also because the good stuff had been cooked out.
When the convention is over, he allowed. But only if Im in the room with you. No alcohol before
then. We both need to focus. Theres a lot riding on these next three days.
Okay, boss, I said, realizing that even though Noah stood tall and composed, he was stressed, the
importance of the nanotechnology research weighing on his bones.
Sir, he corrected. Thats how youre supposed to address me. Peter, he called out.
Yes, sir? Peter answered.
Like that, Noah said to me, his command betrayed by the humor in his eyes. You should follow
Peters example.
I huffed. You wish.
Noah took a private elevator to the suite, but tempted by the size of the grand staircase that led from
the lobby to our floor, Peter and I decided to go the long way, racing up the steps like school kids. Peter
won by a long shot.
Victory, he cried from the top.
 Thats only because I was carrying my garment bag. I declare a rematch when my hands are empty.
That didnt happen. For the rest of the day, I was buried in preparations for the opening of the
convention. The Special Events department within Stafford Scientific was responsible for most of the
organizing, but they were required to ask Noahs authorization for practically everything. With the
nanotechnology reveal looming, Noah was occupied with bigger matters, so he made me his eyes. Not
only did I have to ensure the meeting rooms were set up exactly to Noah specifications, and that the lunch
menus were precisely to order, and the water was alkaline, but I also had to act as the ambassador of the
company, greeting the speakers and their partners as they filtered into the hotel. When a spontaneous
dinner between the speakers was organized amongst themselves, I attended in Noahs place.
So youre also a scientist? a woman asked me over lemon lobster cakes, after I had answered her
enquiries of the school Id attended.
Thats what my masters degree says, but I had a hard time finding work.
It can be tough, she confirmed, followed by the nodding of a few heads from those seated around us
listening. Especially when your field is so specialized. It took me five years before I was in a position to
fully apply my field of interest. Stick in there, Imogen. If Stafford Scientific cant give you what youre
after, Im sure theres someone out there who can.

***

Trapped in lurid dreams that soaked my sheets in sweat, I was thankful when I finally woke up. I couldnt
remember the nightmares Id endured, but my skin itched, as if a nest of ants had crawled over me
throughout the night. Yawning loudly, I picked up my phone and looked at the time, wondering how early
breakfast was served.
Immediately, I jumped out of bed. Either I had forgotten to turn on my alarm, or I had shut it off amid
the darkness of my dreams, but I was running late. There was no time for breakfast. There was barely any
time to get dressed.
Noah is going to be furious, I thought with angst as I quickly brushed my teeth and threw on my outfit,
grateful I had picked it out the night before. It was the form-fitting indigo dress I had worn my first day at
the office. Noah had approved it yesterday evening before retiring to his own room, maintaining that we
needed our rest.
Strapping on my wrist device, more important than my phone, I ran into Noahs room, wondering why
he hadnt woken me on such an important day. I found him standing in front of the mirror above his
dresser, his hands shaking as he attempted to straighten his tie.
Never before had I seen Noah so undone. I realized this might be the scariest moment of his career. It
wasnt that in less than an hour hed be speaking in front of thousands, nor that his presentation would be
televised. His hands trembled because he lacked control over the outcome. For reasons he kept to himself,
nanotechnology was the pinnacle of his efforts in founding Stafford Scientific, and now he was at the
mercy of the world as to whether or not he would be given a chance to prove all the good his
nanotechnology could do.
Itll be okay, I assured him as I helped him with his tie. The medical community will fall at its
knees to collaborate with you, and youll win over the public too. Soon, your robots will be running
around our bodies like tiny little workmen.
He merely grunted in reply.
Smoothing down the pleats of his jacket, I made sure he was ready to go. No socks stuck to your butt.
Youre all set.
I stepped away, but he grabbed my hand. Thank you, Imogen. For everything. It means a lot. You
mean well, thank you.
Anytime, I said, smiling, enjoying the warmth of his hand. I held my arm out to him. Shall we go?
Not long after, I stood backstage at the theater next to the hotel, listening as Noah gave his
presentation. Behind the glare of the spotlights and the television cameras, the seats were full, the house
sold out. As calm as steel, Noah was the master of the stage. Id seen him at his most tyrannical, and Id
seen him at his most charming, but I had never seen him so statesmanlike. He truly was a king. The pull I
had towards him destroyed me. I didnt want the agreement any longer. I wanted something real. And I
wanted it with him.

***

Before I knew it, the three days of madness that was the World Science Convention were over, and I was
in my room in the suite dressing for the gala, the ceremonial ball that marked the end of infinite lectures
and table discussions. Most of the convention had been held in the hotel, but like Noahs presentation, the
gala would be in the theater next door. Unofficially, it was the start of my week off.
Everything we had worked so hard for had gone by in a flash. I didnt remember much about the
convention, only that there was a flood of congratulations and a lot of future meetings scheduled between
Stafford Scientific and the medical bigwigs.
Noah had warned me that though I was his date, we wouldnt see much of each other, not when he had
influential people to liquor up and make final pitches to. Regardless, I would make the most of it. I was a
scientist too. Those at the gala were my colleagues. I would dance and chat with my peers, all while
wearing a gorgeous frock.
Draped across my bed was a stunning gold gown with capped sleeves that Noah had left for me. It
would stay on my bed, a sleeping beauty. From my closet, I pulled out the garment bag I had brought in
with me and unzipped it, revealing the dress I would actually be wearing to the gala, my own selection.
Beaded with silver and turquoise, it modestly covered my chest while exposing my back with a low cut
that nearly reached my behind. My grandma had worn it in the forties. It was an heirloom that I planned to
exhibit as often as I could. Prom was checked off the list. As was my graduation dinner. And now the
gala.
So that the back of the dress could serve its purpose, I pulled my hair into a loose up-do with tendrils
cascading around my neck, sticking a silver comb in the center to hold it all together. I applied a natural
gloss to my lips that complimented my smoky eyes. Julia had applied my makeup for me, an artist with a
blush brush. To my disappointment, she wouldnt be attending the gala, too tired to continue making small
talk with the scientists.
I was as good as I was going to get. Making sure I had my room key and phone in my purse, I left the
suite barefoot and took the grand staircase down to the lobby, the carpet like cashmere against my every
footstep. Noah and Peter waited for me below in identical white-tie tuxedos that Noah had purposefully
matched to show Peter the potential of what the boy genius could become an innovator who not only
helped the world but made billions in the process.
Wow, they said in unison when I joined them.
Beaming, Noah brushed his finger over my cheek, his adoration evident in the lightness of his touch.
Thats not the dress I left for you.
 No, but its the one Im wearing.
He looked down at my feet. You could have at least worn the heels I bought. You cant expect me to
allow you to walk across a dirty sidewalk with no shoes on.
It takes less than a minute to get to the theater, and before you say anything, those black fuzzy slippers
are not an option. Your rules are ridiculous, I snapped.
Peter spoke up. I have an idea, sir.
Shortly after, like a swan in a cage, I stood upon a gilded cart the bellhops used to bring the luggage of
guests to their room. Peter pushed me to the theater next door, Noah walking by our side, but I wouldnt
talk to him. I was too mortified.
Ridiculous, I repeated when I hopped off onto the red carpet and marched into the gala on my own.
When Id last been in the theater, the interior had been a bit dull, its elegance destroyed by synchronic
banners and cardboard displays of the new technologies companies around the world had invented. Now,
the historic elements of the place demanded attention, from its brass chandeliers to vintage photos of
Hollywood stars who had performed on its stage. Purposefully leaving Noah behind, I sauntered into the
theater room with as much poise as I could muster.
The seats had been removed, replaced with round, formally dressed banquet tables and chairs,
between which plenty of space remained for guests to socialize and dance. It was convenient because the
floor was jammed pack as a band played on the stage. A darkness shaded the room, the only illumination
the blue lights that manipulated the senses into believing the room was outside, a celebration of the night.
Dont be mad, Noah whispered, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed my neck with the
gentleness of a breeze. You look too beautiful to be mad.
Do I still get to drink champagne? I asked, lightening up.
Only if Im in the same room as you, he murmured, kissing my neck again as he ran a finger down
my bare spine.
Good thing this is a big room, I replied.
Laughing, he stepped away, seemingly unashamed of the bulge in his pants. Put it on the tab, but dont
let Peter have any. He may talk with the intelligence of someone well beyond his years, but hes still
underage.
Good luck with your final pitches, I bid him.
Good luck dancing without shoes, he replied, grinning before he disappeared into the crowd.
Thirsty, I floated to the nearest bar. One very tall glass of champagne, please, I ordered.
When Noah Stafford goes hunting, he really knows how to bag the good ones, a man beside me said,
smirking.
Hurry up with my champagne, I willed. I have someones head to dump it over.
The man had the aura of the devil. Not a tyrant or a sinner, but Lucifer himself, a puppeteer of
destruction. He was handsome, with black hair and gray eyes, but there was nothing attractive about the
way he leered or the brashness twisted in the knuckle rings around his fingers.
Im sorry if that made you uncomfortable, he continued, persistent. Every year Noah brings his
personal assistants to these events, and they get more and more beautiful. I wonder who hell be bringing
next year.
And you are?
 A friend, he replied smoothly, running his eyes down my body. Maybe more.
Get lost.
He didnt budge. Imogen, my lovely, is that really a way to talk to someone whos trying to help you?
Ive done my research. Youre wasting your potential locked up on that top floor. Do something for me,
and Ill give you riches beyond your wildest dreams, enough to travel. Maybe to Thailand.
Shocked, I froze. How the hell did he know about Thailand? My instincts took charge. Instead of
storming away, I tried to gather counter intel on him. And what is it you want me to do? I asked,
forthright.
Bring me the design for the nanorobotics.
I see. You know you could be arrested for robbing a design.
But not for suggesting it, he said coolly.
It took all my strength not to take his knuckle rings and shove them down his throat. Thankfully, Peter
saved the day.
Imogen, we have that thing to get to, he said, pulling on my arm.
Yes, we do, I said, glaring at the man and allowed Peter to lead me away.
Do you know who that was? he asked, shaking his head. Of course you dont, or you wouldnt have
been speaking with him. That was Niall Lambert, a ruthless big shot with billions to burn. Hes after
Chicago, he wants to rule it, and hes willing to take down anyone in his way.
That will never happen, I said. Noah is too powerful.
What did he say to you?
Peter was only trying to help, but I didnt want him to get mixed up in the middle of something that
went over both our heads. Never mind all that. Lets go dance!
And we did, shaking our bodies to the live music. Peter was like a stick of gum flapping around. I was
no better. When the long week caught up to us, we stumbled back to our suite in exhaustion.
Did Noah disapprove of us leaving? Peter asked as I unlocked the door.
I think he was relieved. We were burning up that dance floor.
Inside, Peter immediately headed for his room. Love you like a sister, he called back to me.
Ditto, boy genius.
Staggering through the hall, I did the same, except I went to Noahs room, not my own and collapsed
on his bed, determined not to move.
Grandmas dress.
Afraid of crumpling the fabric, I pried myself off the bed, stripped down to my silk panties, and hung
the heirloom in the closet, trading it for one of Noahs dress shirts. Then I crawled under the sheets and
fell asleep, waking only when Noah returned.
Will you go to Arizona with me to see my mother? I asked, half-asleep, unable to open my eyes.
He slipped into bed next to me and wrapped me tightly in his arms. Sinking into his warmth, I tucked
my head under his chin. Will you? I asked again.
Of course, he said, smoothing back my hair. Ill be there for you.
Thank you, I murmured. What lesson are you going to teach me tonight?
He kissed my forehead with a tender affection and continued to stroke my hair. No more lessons. Its
time to move past them.
I like the sound of that.
Our limbs tangled around each other, we fell asleep. No lessons. No rules. Just us.
 CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

A Couple of Months Later

Months of hard work were coming to an end. Stafford Estate was almost finished. All I had left to do
was the conservatory. After cleaning the glass of the outer walls, Id thrown out the rotting roots of the old
plants and replaced them with terracotta pots filled with bluebells, sage, and other wildflowers.
I couldnt take credit for all the work. The lawn had been my adversary. Id mowed the grass at my
grandmas house plenty of times, but Stafford Estate wasnt a little rambler on a residential street. The
property it sat upon was extensive. Desperate, Id turned to Peter, who had recruited Gloria. While Peter
and I picked at weeds, Gloria had zigzagged past us on a riding mower, her raven black hair bouncing on
her head.
That had been a week ago. Before the grass grew back, Id pushed myself to complete the restoration,
saving the sculptures for last. With a washcloth, I started at the back, slowly wiping the grime from the
marble, interrupted only when my phone rang.
Its an emergency. I need you, Julia hissed into the phone as soon as I answered.
I dropped the washcloth. What is it? I asked, trying to gauge her tone. She didnt sound scared, but
she did seem frantic.
Just get back to the apartment as soon as you can.
Itll take about a half-hour, depending on traffic, I told her.
Where are you? The moon?
Im at Stafford Estate.
Still? I could hear her eyes roll. You know your days off are supposed to be about you, not him.
He has no idea Im here. So do I still need to drive all the way home?
Yes! she yelled and hung up.
Ill see you later, I bid the sculptures.
With the sun beating down, it seemed the weather was taking a turn for the better. Bees flew around in
the freshly cut grass in search of nectar. One landed on my knee, left bare from my denim cut-offs, and I
delicately swiped it away, trying not to hurt it. In a funny twist of fate, it moved on to the daisy stickers on
my hatchback.
When Gloria had been here with Peter, shed used bolt cutters to break the lock, saving me the trouble
of jumping over the fence with the hover board, though I kind of missed it. Shutting the gate, I got into my
car and drove away from the sunshine, towards the shadows of the skyscrapers.
Being midday, traffic wasnt too bad, and I made it back to the apartment in relatively good time.
Walking in, I thought I was back in the conservatory. Hundreds of bouquets of flowers, from roses to
carnations, were scattered around the apartment.
 Julia! I called out. Do we still live here?
Maybe not, she said, meeting me by the door, looking distressed. Ronald sent these.
The horror, I teased. Are you allergic? Is that the emergency?
She handed me a note. No. This is.
My Julia, these last few months with you have been the best of my life. I dont want to spend
another night without you. Move in with me, and I will shower you in blossoms every day.
I couldnt believe it. Forcing a smile, I returned the note to Julia, but my heart sank. I wasnt ready for
her to leave.
Thats fantastic, I said weakly. Hes so sweet. How do you feel?
Like I need a glass of wine.
We moved on to the kitchen, giving me time to process the news. The apartment was too big to live in
alone, and I wasnt sure how I felt about living with anyone who wasnt Julia. Selfishly, I prayed she
wouldnt go through with it.
I dont know what to do, she lamented as she poured a glass of red. Are you allowed to drink yet?
It doesnt matter, I said. Hit me.
She handed me a glass, downed her own, then poured herself another. What if it doesnt work out? I
mean, this is major.
Grasping that Julia was anxious enough for the both of us, I put my own worries aside and tried to be
supportive. And what if it does work out? You two are so happy together.
We are happy. Now. But peoples true colors come out when you live with them. Except for you. I
knew you were a nerdy sweetheart from the moment I met you.
Thanks, I think. I took a sip of my wine, hoping the microchip in my arm didnt calculate my blood
alcohol level.
What if hes like a hoarder or something? Or hides the pillows every time I eat the cheese? Im so
used to living by myself or with my girlfriends, the idea of sharing my space with a guy is absolutely
terrifying. Have you ever lived with one?
No, I admitted. My grandma had a boyfriend who stayed with us for a few months when I was
twelve, but then he offered me really special brownies, and he was gone.
I wouldnt mind special brownies, she pondered. That would be okay, but not the cheese thing.
I laughed and took another sip. I dont think you have to worry about Ronald hiding the pillows, but
consider this: If Ronald is the one, youll end up living with him anyway. Might as well get it over with. A
wise woman once told me she doesnt mind flipping a few boards, as long as theyre flipped quickly.
She does sound pretty wise, Julia said, relaxing against the counter. What about you? Will you be
okay if I move out?
Only if you promise to visit often.
I will, she guaranteed. Every week. She spun her glass around in her hand. Wow. I think Im
doing this. Im moving in with a man I love.
Yes, you are, I said, rising. So call him and tell him the good news. Ill take off for a few hours, so
youll have the place to yourself.
Youve been drinking, she protested.
Ive only had a few sips, I said, patting her shoulder, certain her resistance for me to leave was her
fear of finalizing plans with Ronald. Do me a favor, will ya?
Anything.
Wait two weeks before you go. I dont want our reign to end overnight.
Gladly, she agreed, looking relieved.
I got back on the highway for Stafford Estate, but this time, I did get stuck in traffic, trapping me in my
thoughts. I wanted what Julia had, a normal relationship living with a guy she loved, the possibilities of
the future completely open. Irritated, I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, feeling anxious. I didnt
want to live alone. That was for sure.
Barely moving, I called Noah. Can you talk? I asked.
If youre on the line, always. Is everything okay?
Julia is moving in with her boyfriend. Shell be leaving the apartment in two weeks.
And this upsets you, he deduced. Why?
Living on my own isnt something Im looking forward to. I wished he was in the car so I could
read his expression.
I wouldnt worry about that, he said lightly. You know I would never let you live alone.
You wouldnt? I asked, my heart fluttering.
Of course not. I want you to be at peace, Imogen. Thats the most important thing to me. Your
happiness and your safety. When I see you smile first thing in the morning, it makes the burden of my day
so much easier to bear.
My breath caught in my throat. This was it. This was the step forward I wasnt sure Noah and I would
ever take. Julia and I would be leaving the apartment together. It was sad, but it was also poetic and
thrilling.
To make sure you smile every morning, Ill fill Julias room as quickly as possible, perhaps with one
of my older female executives, someone who can be a mentor to you, especially after youre promoted.
It was a double punch in the gut. Are you already thinking about promoting me?
Im wasting your talents, Imogen. Youve proven your loyalty to me. When Niall Lambert tried to
recruit you at the gala, you came straight to me.
Was it a test?
No, hes a lowlife, but that doesnt matter. Theres no reason for you to continue being my personal
assistant, not when you could be out there saving the environment.
What does that mean? I asked, unable to hide my outrage.
Nothing. Our agreement doesnt change, only your position in the company. Ill replace you with an
old woman. Or a man. Whatever makes you most comfortable.
It was a small relief, but I was still upset. What if you didnt find me a new roommate? What if I
became your new roommate? I asked.
Imogen, Noah murmured. I dont think thats a good idea.
Why not? I stay over there all the time.
Its not in the agreement, he said, as if it made total sense.
Fuck the agreement.
Imogen
 I cut him off. You know what, forget about it. Im not going to beg. I ended the call.
Frustrated, I banged my horn, attracting more than a few dirty looks around me. Despite everything, I
continued my drive to Stafford Estate, trying my best not to cry. How could Noah care about me, claim my
happiness and safety were so important to him, and then refuse to commit? His game was foreign to me, a
malady of the city. I preferred the organic wilderness.
Back in the conservatory, as I swept the dirt from the sculptures, I also washed away my own worries,
binning them for another day. Noah called frequently, but I didnt answer. I needed space to not think or
argue, to just zone out. By doing so, I fell into a peaceful mindfulness, until I was interrupted.
Is anyone here? Noah called out from the foyer.
All anger I had towards him suddenly disappeared, replaced by my excitement to show him the house.
It was a little earlier than I wanted, but everything was done, except for a few sculptures that were still
dirty. In a last effort to finish, I quickly ran the washcloth over them, racing against time, however long it
would take Noah to find me in the conservatory.
Footsteps echoed towards me. Wiping a strategically-placed leaf over a very manly part of a
sculpture, I dropped the washcloth and turned around. I wanted it to be
I stopped. My heart stopped. My breath stopped. The man before me had sturdy, powerful arms,
tousled blond hair the color of sand, and eyes that burnt like a green flame. He looked like Noah, but
Noah didnt have tattoos. Corey had tattoos.
Corey had found me.
 CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Are you a hallucination?

Chuckling, Corey wound his way around the sculptures to me. You havent been drinking lemongrass
mojitos again, have you?
No. No mojitos.
Your brother forbids it.
Pounding with disbelief, my heart tried to leap out of my chest, and my feet were latched to the floor.
Corey was here. Incredulously, he had kept his promise after all. He had found me.
Despite wishing many times that he would never return, my worst fears had been realized, but I wasnt
as apprehensive as I thought Id be. I was glad to see him, like being reunited with an old friend, even
though it hadnt been that long since Id said goodbye to him in Thailand. Only a few months, but it
seemed like years. So much had happened to twist time.
An adulterated gleam in his reckless green eyes, Corey was exactly as I remembered him, except that
he was tanner, his skin deeply bronzed by the tropical sun, and his arms were impossibly more robust. His
skin, a canvas for his tattoos, was tight against his muscles, showcasing his ink like a billboard.
The house looks great, he remarked, looking around, inches from me. The last time I was here, it
was in ruins. Did you do all this?
Yes, I replied, my voice weak, still in shock that we were standing face-to-face having a
conversation. When was the last time you were here?
When the woman who raised my brother and me, our nanny, died. Probably about five or six years
ago, maybe longer. I cant really remember. Thanks for fixing it up. Now I dont have to sleep in the dust.
You could have gotten a hotel room, I pointed out, not sure why I did.
That would defeat the point of coming home, he said, smiling down at me, his friendliness towards
me as vibrant as the trees in the jungle, as if nothing between us had changed.
Like being hit by a truck, all the memories wed shared in Thailand came flooding back to me. The
gun he had left in my backpack, his weapon against the poachers. Walking me back to my hotel as the
waves of the sea hummed in the background. Saving me in the alley from the gang of men, and escaping on
his motorcycle to the mountains. The lake where, beneath a scorching sun and surrounded by elephants,
wed kissed, his lips claiming mine, his tongue and touch merciless.
Driven by the memories, I ran to him and hugged him, burrowing my head deep into his shoulder.
Sheathing me in his arms, he stroked the back of my hair. I told you Id find you, he whispered.
Before our embrace went too far, I stepped back, creating necessary distance between us. My mouth
was dry with the battleground that my heart became. For so long, Id clung onto my feelings for Corey,
certain he would come back. When Id finally let go, those feelings didnt dissolve. Theyd been pushed
down, and now they sprang forward, rocking me to the core.
I cared about Corey, Id pictured our future together many times, wondering if this moment would
come, but none of it compared to the love I had for Noah. It was Noah who I spent my nights with, and my
days. By providing me with his lessons, he had taught me to be strong, to free myself of my inhibitions.
Because of him, Id learned who my father was, and equally important, Id met Julia and Peter, my new
family. And though hed been a jerk on the phone earlier, it was a small infraction compared to the
endless generosity hed shown me.
I didnt think Id ever see you again, I admitted. When did you get back?
Im fresh off the plane. Cracking his neck, he rubbed his shoulder. Man, I forgot how brutal that
long flight can be, especially when sitting in coach.
What have you been up to all this time? I had to know. When I had been pining for him, what had he
been doing to get back to me?
His eyes shadowed. Tracking poachers. Two groups were scouting the reserve, mean guys with
semi-automatic weapons who strayed deep within the jungle. It took a few months, but we managed to
apprehend them all. When prosecuted, they were made an example of and given long jail sentences. Now,
the reserve is thriving. There hasnt been any more trouble, and there likely wont be any for a long time.
Thinking of the herd Id trekked to see, I was genuinely glad to hear it, but I couldnt help my
selfishness from breaking through. Is that why you never contacted me? I asked mournfully, hoping it
somehow made him understand why I had moved on when the time came to tell him.
I dont have a cell phone, you know that, babe. And they dont exactly have payphones in the jungle.
He stepped closer and wiped a smudge of dirt from my cheek, leaving the static of his electricity
across my skin. It was nice, but it caused me to tense. He must have sensed it because he immediately
dropped his hand away from me, but he didnt step back, leaving little room to breathe between us.
I was split in two, both thrilled and wary disappointed I hadnt waited for Corey, that Id given up,
and full of appreciation that he had led me to Noah, the man who held my heart. And ruled my body.
Before, the thought of Corey finding out about Noah and me made me anxious. I didnt think hed ever
forgive me, that it would ruin any chance of us being together if he learned Id slept with his brother.
Now, though I still had feelings for Corey that twisted my stomach, and I sometimes wondered if Id
chosen the right brother, Noah was the man I wanted. My biggest concern was that by telling Corey the
truth, Id create a bigger divide within the family, and Id lose Corey as a friend.
At least, thats what I thought I felt. It was a blur of confusion in my mind.
Here, he said. I have something for you.
From the pocket of his shorts, he handed me a beaded necklace with a little silver elephant at its
center. One of the locals made it. The beads are meant to bring you luck, and the elephant is so that youll
always remember your good fortune.
Thank you, its beautiful, I said, accepting the gift. Speaking of good fortune, why didnt you tell
me about all this? I swept out my arm to indicate the manor.
Would it have mattered? he asked.
Certainly not, but I had no idea what I was getting into when I went to the job interview at Stafford
Scientific. Imagine how shocked I was to not only learn you had a twin brother, but that he was Noah
Stafford, the founder of the company. It made the interview so awkward, Im astonished he hired me.
He interviewed you? Corey asked. Im surprised he cared enough to.
 He interviews everyone, I told him, realizing Corey probably didnt know much about the structure
of Noahs company.
Now that doesnt surprise me. My brother can be a little overbearing at times.
So Ive learned. He made me his personal assistant. Holding my breath, I waited to see what
Coreys reaction would be, wondering if he knew the reputation Noah had with his personal assistants.
Is that why youre cleaning up in here? he asked, his tone remaining friendly. Either he didnt know
the implications of being a personal assistant, or he was pretending not to.
I needed a project, I said truthfully. I wanted to use my powers for good.
Corey continued to keep his distance, but his eyes burned into mine. Thats what makes you so
irresistible, babe.
Needing a cooldown, I excused myself from the room. Thanks again for the necklace, I said,
walking backward as I put it on. Im just going to wash the dirt from my face. Ill be right back.
In the bathroom, ignoring the sink, I fell to the floor, my back pressed against the door and my head on
my knees. Oh, this is going to get bad, I murmured.
There was only one thing left to do. I had to tell Noah. It would be difficult. Like me, once upon a
time, he wanted Corey to return. His twin was the only family he really had, someone he shared fond
childhood memories with. Twisting my phone in my hand, I stalled, but I eventually called him.
Imogen, he answered on the first ring. Listen, about our conversation earlier, Id like to explain
myself.
Not right now, I said, having totally forgotten about our fight. Theres something I need to say to
you.
I insist you let me explain first. The reason I
Corey is back, I declared, interrupting him.
Silence fell on the other side. I waited for him to speak, understanding what a shock it was.
How do you know this? he finally asked.
Because hes here with me. For the last few months, Ive been cleaning up Stafford Estate hoping to
surprise you.
I know, Noah said when I paused to take a breath. Your safety is my responsibility. Ive been
tracking you.
You knew? I shook my head. It didnt matter right now. He just showed up. Should I stay? Should I
tell him about us? What should I do?
Dont say anything, Noah commanded. I mean it. Not a word. Im on my way.
Through the bathroom window, I gazed across the sunset. It wouldnt take Noah long to get here. I
knew him well. In a situation as urgent as this, hed arrive by helicopter. Unable to face Corey on my
own, I waited on the bathroom floor until I heard a knock at the door.
Just one sec, Corey! I called, panicked. Im still cleaning up.
Its Noah, came a stern, frosty reply.
Damn, these things are precise, I thought, glancing down at the microchip in my forearm.
Needing his comfort, I opened the door, but he was a block of ice, his eyes as narrow as spears.
Where is he?
In the conservatory, I answered stiffly, throwing my guard up, hurt by Noahs reception.
 He turned around and stormed away from me, like a king about to behead someone. My throat tight
with nerves, I followed him, unsure of how he planned to confront Corey.
I had no idea he was coming, I said in my defense, in case Noah had any doubts. And he didnt
know I was here. He means to stay at the manor while hes in town.
Why shouldnt he? Noah said through clenched teeth. Its his home.
Then why are you so mad? I asked, grabbing his arm.
Halting, he spun around, the struggle within him evident in his eyes. I discerned a brew of fear and
joy, all dominated by an effort to stay in control. Im not upset, he proclaimed. Im processing. This
changes many things.
Does it change us? I asked.
Briefly, he softened, staring at me with absolute affection, but then his face warped in anguish, and he
marched off once more, refusing to speak until we were in the conservatory.
Brother, Noah greeted formally, impassive.
Corey turned his head sharply to me. You called him? he asked with a hint of betrayal.
I had to. Hes my boss.
Dizzy, I leaned against a sculpture. It was unnerving having the twins in the same room, so identical
and yet so completely opposite. There were no more boundaries that separated the two men. My two
worlds had come crashing together.
Have we really come to this? Noah asked, not unfriendly but still lacking warmth. I have to find
out youre home through my personal assistant?
Shes the reason I came back, so yeah, thats how you were meant to find out.
Noah flinched, his armor battered. It was subtle, but I noticed it because I felt the force of the blow
too.
Corey, theres something you should know
This house isnt suitable for living, Noah said, stepping between us, blocking me from Corey.
There is no food and no staff. As we speak, an apartment in the city is being prepped for you. Youll be
comfortable there.
This is starting already? Corey muttered. I just spent six months sleeping in a jungle. Before that, it
was snow caps, and before that, a desert. Ill be comfortable here.
None of it seemed to reassure Noah. How long will you be home? he asked. I couldnt tell by his
tone if he was hopeful Corey would stay awhile or if he wanted to ship him out on the next boat.
That depends on Imogen, Corey said, moving around Noah so that I was in his line of sight once
more. I plan to steal her away and take her on an adventure.
Afraid of upsetting Noah, I smiled weakly, a meek response.
Corey reached his hand out to me as he yawned. Its been a long journey. Would you like to stay?
My heart stopped, and I froze, unprepared for his advance, as sweet and simple as it was.
She has work tomorrow, Noah answered for me. Ill see she gets home safely. You should rest,
brother.
Ill sleep when Im dead, Corey said defiantly.
Careful with your words. Ill have food sent over.
 Corey folded his arms, his muscles bulging. I can take care of myself.
I suppose you can, Noah replied with his cold neutrality. Imogen, he beckoned and turned to
leave.
Waving silently, I followed Noah out, grateful it hadnt been left for me to explain to Corey why I
couldnt stay, aligning with Noahs decision not to say anything. There were ways I could let Corey down
without revealing my agreement with Noah. People lost interest for many reasons. As long as we
remained quiet, there was still hope the brothers could heal their relationship. Thats what Noah wanted,
despite his behavior. Hed given me my family back so I would do everything I could to return the favor.
Ill take you home, he said in the foyer. Ill arrange for your car to be towed back to your
apartment.
Okay, I agreed, believing the helicopter ride back would give us an opportunity to discuss
everything.
It didnt. Once we were fastened into our seats, rising above the estate, Noah resumed his earlier
iciness, as if I were an inferior enemy.
We need to talk about this, I insisted, trying to lock my eyes onto his.
He refused to connect, instead focusing on the adjustment of his sleeves. Im not interested in an
argument. Theres nothing to talk about.
What the hell does that mean? I cried out.
Imogen, I am your boss. You will not speak so harshly with me, he demanded, executing his
authority.
I fought back tears, confused by the wall he was building between us. This isnt an argument. I agree
that we shouldnt tell him, I said, trying to put him at ease.
Tell him what? That we have an agreement that expires in less than a year?
I was taken aback, punched in the chest for the third time that day. Is that all you see between us? An
agreement?
I never promised you more.
I wasnt buying it. Noah loved me. I knew it. Dont push me away, I screeched. Corey is a tough
guy. Hell understand if I tell him Im only interested in being friends. He never has to know why.
He continued to fiddle with the cuffs of his sleeves, like the conversation completely disinterested
him. I wanted to smack his hands away so that he was forced to look at me.
Imogen, I have a business to run. That is all I have time for. You are released from our agreement and
your position as my personal assistant. Ill put in a transfer to any department you choose, but I must
remind you that youre bound by a non-disclosure clause in your contract. That includes telling my brother
anything that has happened between us.
Or what? Youll make my family suffer? I snapped, thinking of the threat he made to his executives
at that first meeting Id taken notes.
On the brink of a breakdown, I wanted nothing more than to jump out of the helicopter. It wasnt fair
for Noah to be doing this when I couldnt escape. I was his prisoner, trapped underneath his power. I
hated him for it, but only because I loved him. Defeated, I turned away from him, trembling in anger and
hurt, unable to say more.
As soon as we landed on my building, I jumped out and ran to the rooftop door. By the time the
security device scanned my arm and opened it, the helicopter was gone. I stared up at the black of the
night, wishing he could read my thoughts.
You idiot. I would have chosen you.

***

Floral fragrances bombarded me the moment I stepped through the apartment door. It didnt help matters at
all. The invasion of bouquets too closely resembled the lotus blossoms Noah had used to seduce me. I
called out for Julia, desperately needing her support, but she wasnt home, likely out with Ronald,
celebrating their step forward.
Feeling like a fool, I remembered my phone conversation with Noah earlier, of how I thought he was
going to ask me to move in with him after I told him about Julia moving out, only for him to deny me.
Noah did love me, but love was not always enough. As coarse as gravel, the truth scrubbed against my
heart, turning it raw and bleeding. Noah was a king, but I would never be his queen. No one would. He sat
on his throne alone.
Normally, I would never pull a friend away from her happiness, but I called Julia. I need you to
come home. Its an emergency.
She didnt question it. Ill be right there.
In the kitchen, I grabbed the bottle of wine we had opened that afternoon and went out onto the
balcony, confronting Chicago and its horrid night. Fuck you! I yelled after gulping down what remained
of the bottle. I should have stayed in Thailand.
By the time Julia found me, I was slumped down on the balcony sobbing. Destiny was cruel. Noah and
I were finished, but that didnt leave me free to be with Corey, not when I had slept with his brother and
couldnt tell him. It would be dishonest to pursue anything other than friendship if he didnt know the truth.
Imogen! Julia cried. She sat beside me and put her arms around my shoulders, consoling me. Is this
because I decided to move out? I wont, not if youre this upset.
You should move out. Ronald is a great guy. He adores the ground you walk on, and hes not afraid to
commit.
Then why the tears?
Noah is a jerk, I told her.
She looked relieved, likely glad she hadnt caused my pain. Oh yes, that. What did he do?
Its more of what he didnt do. But theres more. Corey is back.
Her eyebrows furrowed. What do you mean Corey is back? Like hes contacted you and is back in
the picture?
No, hes here, in Chicago. He returned for me, just like he said he would. I reached for the wine
bottle, forgetting it was empty. When nothing poured out, I tossed it against the railing. Luckily, it didnt
break.
Wow, Julia breathed. Thats major.
For him. It wasnt for me, not when Ive been sleeping with his brother. But thats over now. Noah
terminated our agreement. Im no longer his personal assistant. Im free to move on to any department I
want. I huffed. Like Im going to do that.
Julia frowned. Youre not considering staying on as his personal assistant, are you?
No. Im going to quit. I cant work for him, not after this. Plus, if I quit, Im no longer bound by his
non-disclosure agreement. I can tell Corey everything.
Julia squeezed my shoulders. I hate to say it, but you still have to keep quiet. That part of the contract
isnt terminated just because you leave the company.
What would happen if I broke it? Im not trying to sell his nanotechnology. I just want to tell Corey
the truth.
Do you? Julia asked meaningfully. Maybe you and Corey have a shot at something real. And Noah
certainly wont say anything. From what you tell me, he wanted Corey to return home, he just never
believed he actually would. Plead the fifth. No one gets hurt. Everyone is happy, except Noah, who dies
alone and miserable for being such a tyrant.
I sighed. I guess I wont say anything. Im angry at Noah, and I want to hurt him, but it wouldnt be
right to tell Corey. I looked at her, suddenly more melancholy than angry. Im leaving Stafford
Scientific. Im going back to Milwaukee.
Her sadness matched my own. Yesterday, I would have begged you not to go, afraid of losing my
roomie, but after today, I have no room to speak. You know Ill visit you all the time.
And Ill visit you, I vowed. And Peter.
But dont go yet, Julia added as if it were an afterthought. You made me promise to stay another
two weeks, and Im going to make you do the same. It cant end like this. We need to have some fun before
we leave this place.
I like the sound of that, but I doubt Noah will let me stay after I message him my resignation
tomorrow.
Hell let you stay, Julia assured me. I dont understand why Corey being here made him flip the
switch, but he loves you. Hes not going to toss you out.
This is such a mess, I muttered as my head fell into my hands. What should I do about Corey? Yes,
he should have kept in contact, but technically he did nothing wrong. He feels trapped when hes here, and
yet he came home to find me. I cant just ignore him.
Theres no reason you should, Julia determined. Send in your resignation, then go visit Corey and
spend some time with him. Be friends. You dont owe him anything more than camaraderie, but you should
offer him that.
Friends, I decided. Then, much more sarcastically, I added, That doesnt sound complicated at
all.
 CHAPTER NINETEEN

Barely anything remained in my room. As soon as Id woken that morning, Id hauled any item of
clothing paid for by Stafford Scientific to the front room for Julia to pick out what she wanted. Whatever
was left over, if anything, would go to charity. The last of the items in my room were those Id brought
with me from Milwaukee, ready to be packed in two weeks time.
Flopping down on my bed, I grabbed my laptop and hammered out my resignation, feeding my hurt and
frustrations into the letter. Before I lost my courage, I sent it to Noah, rendering myself jobless once more.
From my laptop bag, I pulled out the business card of a woman Id spoken to at the convention. Shed
advised me not to settle, that I would one day find work I was passionate about. Thats what I needed to
focus on my career. Forget settling. Id go anywhere I needed to if it meant working to improve the
environment, even Antarctica. Compared to the chill of Noah yesterday, Antarctica seemed warm.
Imagining Corey alone in the manor, I set my laptop aside and, wearing white denim shorts and a
loose fitting tank top, I drove to Stafford Estate.
Hello! I called as I entered. Corey? Are you here?
There was no answer, so I searched the manor. When I returned to the foyer, there was still no sign of
Corey, but I did find a box full of photo albums. There had been some disturbance in the library. When I
had cleaned it, the shelves were empty of books, but now there were boxes spread around. Corey must
have pulled them down from the attic, the one place in the house I had left alone. Id poked my head into
it, but seeing it was used for storage, Id climbed back down the stairs, respecting the privacy of the
family. But photo albums, especially those left out in the open, were too tempting to refuse.
I sat on the lower steps of the staircase and set the box on the floor in front of me, upon which colored
silhouettes from the stained glass of the dome above danced around as the sun penetrating through. The
hoard of photo albums at my grandmas house were bought at department stores, the covers decorative but
laminated in plastic. These photo albums were bound in leather, the family name embossed in gold on the
front and spine.
In the first album I picked out, Corey and Noah were young boys, probably seven or eight years-old.
Playing in the yard in khaki pants and woolen sweaters, they looked merry as they jumped into a pile of
leaves and threw them around the place. It was utterly impossible to tell them apart. Everything they did
together, every arm raised, every kick of the leaves, every smile was completely in unison. There was
only one photo in the series that didnt have the brothers in it together. In that one, a tiny finger covered
half the shot, as if the camera had been held the wrong way, but the corner showed a Filipino-looking
woman who smiled with love.
Your nanny. From what Id heard of Mr. and Mrs. Stafford, the photos within these albums had likely
been taken and assembled by the nanny.
Snapshots within another album portrayed the boys a little bit older. They continued to act in harmony,
but one didnt smile as brightly as the other. It was a subtle difference, but the cloud of uncertainty that
tugged at his smile was unmistakable. Something troubled him.
Flipping through the rest of the albums, the photos showcased a very cultured and educated life, from
orchestra performances where the boys played the cello to formal tuxedo dinners. There was also fun,
including several photos of Noah at his graduation in his hot dog costume. But when I reached the very
last album in the box, I found another peculiarity. In it, a single brother appeared in each photo, likely in
his pre-teen years. A small gap in his teeth told me it was the same twin repeated throughout the album,
the other missing.
Thats so strange, I muttered, turning the pages back and forth to make sure I wasnt missing
anything.
Leaving only questions and no answers, I returned the albums back to the library. The rest of the boxes
that had been pulled down contained old books. It would appear Corey was an avid reader. Most had his
name scribbled inside the cover. It didnt surprise me. Despite his heedless, rugged ways, there was a
deep intelligence behind the green of his eyes.
I checked my phone. There were no messages. It was a relief, but it was also upsetting. Noah must
have gotten my resignation. He was meeting it with silence.
To bide time while I waited for Corey to return from wherever he had gone, I went to the
conservatory. The washcloth remained where I had dropped it yesterday. I picked it up and dusted off the
last of the sculptures, completing my work. There wasnt as much satisfaction as Id thought thered be.
Noah hadnt even acknowledged my efforts.
Grabbing one of the larger plants, I lugged it into the foyer. Though I had cleared out the old stumps
where narrow trees had once stood beneath the dome, I was nowhere skilled enough to plant new ones, so
Id cleaned the area and left it as it was. But while sitting on the stairs with the photos, an idea had come
to me. I set the plant down to act as a tiny tree and headed back towards the conservatory for another, but I
stopped.
What was I doing? Besides a friendship with Corey, I had no association to the manor. Not anymore.
It was time to leave. Preparing to do so, I gathered my belongings, but the hum of a motorcycle pulling
up outside prevented my exit. It had to be Corey. Stubborn and rigid, Noah would never get on the back of
a motorcycle. According to him, they were as safe as running head first into a moving train.
Eager to see Corey again, I went outside. Sporting blue jeans and a black T-shirt that showed off his
broad shoulders, the rebel brother hopped off a slick black racer bike and pulled off his helmet.
Hey, gorgeous, he said, beaming when he saw me. I went looking for you.
You did? I asked. It was nice to hear after yesterdays blizzard.
Lively, he stood close to me and gently tapped his finger on the bridge of my nose. It was playful, but
the energy around him was charged with a palpable covetousness that made my wrists sore with the
hammer of my pulse.
I didnt come all this way to sit alone in an old empty house, no matter how lovely youve made it.
After I took my bike out of storage, I went to my brothers office to kidnap you for the day, but his butler
said you no longer worked there. What happened?
Maybe I want to spend all my time with you, I teased, trying to avoid the truth, but I immediately
regretted my choice of words. It sounded like I was hitting on him, which was the last thing I wanted.
I would like that very much, he purred with a throaty desire, like a panther seeking his mate.
Seizing me with the brilliance of his carefree smile, he tipped his head down to kiss me, but I slipped
out from beneath him.
 Garlic breath, I lied. I had a heavy lunch.
You dont have to explain, Corey stated, running his hand down a strand of my hair, fiddling with it.
Its been awhile since weve seen each other. I know these things take time.
Exhaling, I relaxed. Thank you. Its just that a lot has happened since Thailand.
Wanna tell me about it?
I shook my head. No. Not right now. Do you want to go somewhere?
Grabbing my hand, he pulled me towards the bike. I thought you would never ask.
I laughed, excited for the ride. Where are we going? I asked as he handed me a spare helmet.
Is there anywhere youd like to go?
It didnt take me long to decide. A sleazy biker bar out in the boonies where theres likely to be a
fistfight over a pool table.
Really? he asked with clear skepticism.
Ill explain when we get there.
Okay, babe. Your call. But if theres any trouble, were not sticking around. I didnt travel all this
way to watch you get hurt.
I thought of the gang in Thailand. I trust that youll keep me safe.
Straddling the bike, as my arms wrapped around Corey I couldnt help but be momentarily enticed by
the hard rip of his abs. With the bike vibrating beneath me, we turned out of the estate and sped farther
from the city, towards the mills and farmlands of the countryside. The visor of the helmet cast a haze
across the landscape as dark as the hurt that lingered from the events of the last twenty-four hours. In a
snap, everything had changed.
It wasnt Coreys fault. There had been fundamental flaws in my relationship with Noah, or lack of a
relationship, according to him. Never mind his acute jealousy when Kay had kissed my neck, or the effort
he had put into finding my family, or the nights we tiredly fell asleep in each others arms with no carnal
intimacy. His acts of love meant nothing, because they led nowhere. Coreys arrival hadnt ended my
agreement with Noah; it had simply expedited the inevitable.
Pulling off of the highway, we stopped at a decrepit bar adjacent to a truck stop. A neon sign flashed
above its log cabin exterior, the wood chipped and loose, as if it could be knocked over with the flick of a
finger. I was surprised it had survived the recent storm.
A line of bikes was parked outside, most cruisers with seats wide enough to fit a bear, confirmed
when we walked in and saw giant bearded men in leather jackets playing pool. Beside them were women
with punky hairstyles and pierced noses who looked as if they could kill a giant with one look.
Have you been here before? I asked Corey as he set his hand on the small of my back and guided me
towards the bar counter, far away from the pool tables.
Never.
What are you having? the bartender asked.
Hard whiskey, I answered.
Shell have a beer, Corey amended. And the same for me.
Squirming past Corey, I leaned forward over the counter and looked the bartender dead in the eye.
Hard whiskey, I repeated. And make it a double.
You can stay, he told me through a toothless smile, but next time, ditch the boyfriend.
 Hes not my boyfriend, I said, relaxing onto a tall stool.
Yet, Corey added, pulling a seat over next to me. Its sexy when a girl knows what she wants.
Im tired of being told what to do.
My brother? he guessed.
Suddenly sweaty with nerves, I tried to remain cool. What do you mean?
Youve been his personal assistant for a while now, which means youve suffered the brunt of his
nonsense. You and that redheaded kid I spoke to, the butler. I know how insufferable my brother can be.
He tries to control everyone.
Ive been meaning to ask you about that, I said with a trace of my frustrations burrowing through.
You told me you left Chicago because you felt trapped here, that you were tired of someone constantly
looking over your shoulder. And yet you sent me here to work for your brother. You put me in the trap.
Why?
You needed a job, and I knew he would give you one if I asked. Youre strong, Imogen. I figured you
could handle it much better than I ever could. If I had known he was going to make you his personal
assistant, though, I would have sent your information to my mother in New York. Shes more neglectful
than overbearing.
The bartender slid our drinks down to us, including a beer for me. I shot my whiskey back then chased
it with the brew. Will you be seeing your parents while youre in the States?
The question is whether or not theyll see me, he said without emotion, as if he were well used to
the fact.
I found my mother, I revealed, the whiskey kicking in, loosening my speech.
The lady who abandoned you when you were a baby? You use the word mother too liberally.
Shes dead.
His tone softened. Im sorry, Imogen. That must have been a hard blow to deal with.
I dont know. She was a stranger. I never knew her. I spun my empty whiskey glass around. But I
did go visit her grave in Arizona. While there, I found out a bit about her life. Like she did when she was
in Milwaukee, she frequented the biker scene. At a rally, she made some friends who turned out to be part
of a cult and followed them around for a while, but my mother never liked to be tied down, so she
eventually broke free and traveled, eventually ending up on a Native America reservation as a blackjack
dealer. I laughed and took another sip of my beer.
What? Corey asked, listening intently, his eyes never leaving mine.
My grandma liked to gamble. Mother and daughter are probably having a ball up in heaven. If theres
a Las Vegas up there, I bet theyre scamming people left and right, my mother the dealer, my grandma
cashing in the chips.
Smiling, he put his hand on my knee. Im sure they are. Is that why you wanted to come here? Are you
trying to understand who your mother was?
I nudged my head towards the women at the pool tables. I wonder if she looked like that. In the
photos Ive seen of her before she disappeared, she appeared to be the girl next door, but she was young
then. Im sure she changed over the years. Like did she have tattoos? Did she have nose piercings? Was
her hair shaved on one side? Ill never know.
How did she die?
A car accident. She was driving her truck to her trailer after a long shift, and she fell asleep at the
wheel. She crashed into a tree. Its just so sad, her buried out there all alone. Noah offered to have her
remains flown back to Milwaukee so she could rest next to my grandma, but the desert is where she chose
to be. I hope she was happy there, so thats where she should stay.
Noah? He sounded surprised. Was my brother there with you?
The whiskey was a truth serum. He was. We flew his private jet down. Neither of you wants to admit
it, but you two are very similar. Youre both very honorable, when you want to be, always trying to save
the world.
Removing his hand from my knee, Corey chugged down half of his beer. My brother can be generous,
even when its not wanted.
What happened between you two? Is his need to control everything really whats driving you apart?
That pretty much sums it up.
He was hiding something, but I didnt press. Whatever it is, hes glad youre home. He cares about
you.
I never doubted that.
And misses you, I added.
Did you miss me? he asked intently, bouncing his knees against mine.
Yes, I said honestly. But then you never contacted me, and I moved on.
To someone else?
Does it matter? You werent here. From what Id heard, you hadnt been around for some time. I
finished off my beer. Anyway, its over now, but I need some time.
Do we still get to hang out? he asked, smiling into my eyes with his easy charm.
I matched his smile, my stomach fluttering. Ill even pick up the tab.
No you wont. There are some things a man does, no argument. To prove his point, he threw a
handful of bills at the bartender. Keep the change.
But I want another, I protested. Im not done living out my mothers youth.
I cant drive if I drink another.
Who said you had to drink?
Standing, he offered me his hand. I have a better idea to commemorate your mother. When youre
sober, and youve had some time to think about it, how about we get you a tattoo.
My eyes went big as I accepted his hand. A tattoo?
He flexed the massive muscle of his arm, making his own ink dance. Like this.
I considered it. Maybe a feather to represent the reservation she was living on. I think we also have
some Native American blood in our family, so theres that meaning too. I perked up, getting excited by
the idea. Can we get it done tonight?
Not when youre drunk.
A hamburger will sober me up.
He chuckled. A hamburger is fine, but no tattoo. Well save the tattoo for another day.
On the way back to Stafford Estate, we briefly stopped at a fast food truck with picnic tables outside.
Dipping my fries into a glob of ketchup, the sunshine sobering me, I asked Corey about his adventures
before Thailand. Were you really in the arctic?
 For a time.
Why?
Polar bears were being hunted for their fur.
I licked the ketchup from my fingers. Is it only poachers you go after?
Not always. I once helped an Indigenous family in Australia reclaim their land after the government
tried to take it away.
Smiling, I threw a fry at him. Arent you the hero.
Life is short. Im just trying to do some good before I go.
Shouldnt we all, I mused.
Full before I even got to my hamburger, we took the rest of our food to go. Whizzing down the
highway, the wind against my legs and arms blew away the last of my buzz.
It was too bad. When we pulled into the estate, a helicopter waited on the front lawn. Noah leaned
against the smooth black surface, his arms crossed, disapproval etched across his face. Another beer
would have made him a lot easier to handle.
He doesnt look happy, I muttered as I took off my helmet.
I would say get in your car and run, but Im not sure youre ready to drive, not with a double whiskey
in you. So why dont you go on into the manor and let me deal with my brother? Corey said, putting a
protective hand against my back.
With my head down, I did as he suggested, hurrying past the helicopter, refusing to acknowledge Noah
or his scorn. Once I was inside, I pressed my nose against the glass in the foyer, trying to figure out what
Noahs problem was. Corey was furious. He shook his arms in the air, pissed off about something. Noah
listened with his icy calm, but something Corey said must have set him off, because he abruptly jumped
into his helicopter, and it took off.
What was that about? I asked, running back outside to Corey.
Family stuff, he stated, smiling at me, clearly pushing his fight with Noah aside for my sake. Dont
worry about it. Here, let me call you a taxi. Its been a long day. Im sure youd like to get home.
Its been a fun day, I said, accepting his offer. What about my car?
Thats my evil plot. Now youll have to come back and pick it up, he said, smiling. Maybe
tomorrow?
Maybe, I teased. Are you sure you dont mind this friends-first thing?
Not if that friend is you, he replied, taking my hand and rubbing the soft padding between my thumb
and index finger, making my knees weak.
So you dont regret coming back from Thailand?
His eyes fixed on mine, full of both decent and indecent intentions. Not at all.
When I got home, Julia waited for me, pouting with worry. Where have you been? she demanded.
A little while ago, I received a text from you saying that you were about to get a tattoo of a feather.
I didnt remember sending it to her. Im thinking about it. Maybe along my spine.
So you havent gotten it yet?
No, I assured her.
Her shoulders dropped, and she put a hand over her heart. Oh, thank God. She headed towards her
room. You scared me.
Where are you going? I called after her.
To take a post-work nap. Im exhausted. Ill make us dinner later.
Night settled upon the city, and Julia continue to slumber. I didnt have the heart to wake her. It was
because of me that shed barely slept the night before. Hungry, I warmed up my hamburger, but before I
had a chance to eat it, my phone beeped. It was a message from Noah.
Meet me on the rooftop.
Reluctantly, I set my hamburger down and grabbed a cardigan from my room before heading for the
roof. I didnt owe Noah anything, not after the way he had ended our agreement, but I wanted to know
what the fight between the brothers had been about, and I had a feeling Noah was going to tell me.
Like before, Noah waited beside his helicopter. Imogen, he greeted, looking and sounding
completely neutral. At least he wasnt yelling.
Youre lucky Im talking to you, I snapped. Im only up here because I need answers.
Good, because theres something I need to tell you.
What? I asked, trying to mimic his apathy.
For a moment, he didnt speak, appearing to struggle.
More compassionate, I stepped forward. Noah, what is it?
Its Corey. When we were twelve, he suffered from continuous heart failure from a birth defect no
one had been aware of, not until it was too late. He spent almost an entire year in the hospital. They
treated the problem, but his heart is weak. It wont take much for it to fail again.
Stunned, I could barely speak and the edges of my vision went white. It was devastating news. So he
could just collapse at any time?
He can more than collapse. Imogen, he could die.
 CHAPTER TWENTY

Corey could die. Comprehending something so awful was difficult to do. He seemed perfectly healthy,
happy even, full of energy and cheer. Roaming through the jungle, rounding up poachers, hed hidden his
condition well. I couldnt believe it. Sadness overwhelmed me, and I shivered because of it.
Opening the door to the helicopter, Noah invited me in. Sit in here where its warmer, away from the
breeze.
I dont feel like flying around.
Were not.
Begrudgingly, I did as he instructed, but only for Coreys sake. After sending my resignation, I never
imagined Id be in the helicopter again so soon. Settling into a seat, I had nothing to contribute except my
despair, so I waited for him to say more.
After being diagnosed, Corey was never really the same, transitioning from being rather focused and
content to rebelling against anything and anyone who tried to hold him back from living a normal life. This
manifested more so after we graduated from high school and began our adult lives. Instead of going to
college, he began his travels. I dont believe he started off trying to save wildlife. He just wanted to
experience life, and the rest fell into place for him later. Maybe he perceives a vulnerability in the
animals that he also sees in himself.
I think it goes much deeper than that. Its in the blood. You both are very charitable people. Are your
parents like that?
Only to be social. If what you suggest is true, then the influence was our nanny. She didnt make
grand donations or lecture about the travesty of others, but her love showed us the good that was in the
world.
Thats why youre constantly looking over his shoulder, I reflected, seeing the bigger picture.
Youre worried about him. In fact, youre so worried about him that youve dedicated your entire life to
building fancy new technologies. Thats why the nanorobotics is so important to you, and why you were
so nervous to present it at the World Science Convention. You believe the little machines can repair his
heart.
Yes, Noah admitted. I have designated a majority of my resources on nanotechnology with the
objective that it could save my brother and others. The medical community has expressed their approval,
and human trials will begin soon, but it will be awhile before the science is safe enough to use within a
human heart. To begin, the robots will be injected into those with terminal cancers, where nanotechnology
is their last chance of survival. It will also be used to repair superficial injuries, like skin with third
degree burns.
How long do you predict before Corey could benefit from the technology?
Years. Maybe a decade.
 My heart squeezed. Will he make it that long?
It depends on his lifestyle. When you have a weak heart, youre not supposed to run around as a
vigilante. Rest is important. As is balance. No extreme heat. No extreme cold.
So pretty much the exact opposite of everything Corey has been doing, I acknowledged, troubled to
know that the reason Corey lived on the edge was because he was so close to death.
He should be home in Chicago living a peaceful life.
I think Corey has found his own version of peace, I countered, though I was as concerned as Noah.
Hes happy when hes roaming, defying boundaries.
He was, but now hes come home to be with you. Anguish, as thin as it was, crippled his handsome
face, but he was resolute.
I wasnt sure how to respond. What he claimed was true, but it irritated me, mostly because it was
Noah saying it. Im not bait, I retorted. Just because I once had feelings for your brother doesnt mean
Ill pretend to love him just to anchor him down.
I saw the connection between you two when you returned to the estate after gallivanting across the
countryside. You care for him.
Of course I do. I have a lot of gratitude towards Corey, mostly because he led me to you, the man I
actually love.
Noah seemed startled by my confession, but ecstatically so. His eyes lit up and a grin tugged at the
corner of his lips, which the tyrant in him tried to repress. I watched the battle unfold until his joy was
stifled out. Then were at a crossroads, because I would do anything to save my brother. Hes the only
family I have that counts.
I dont count? I challenged. Nothing I want matters?
Losing his composure, Noah ran an unsteady hand through his hair. Of course you count. Youve
counted since the moment I read through your file, and more so since the day I saw you in your blue dress
and cardigan. His eyes dropped down to the cardigan I wore now, and he looked as if he wanted to reach
out and touch it, as if it were a fond memory he wanted to hold onto. But I cant choose you over my
brother.
You dont have to, I said earnestly, pleading. Its not a matter of picking one of us over the other.
Corey and I are buddies, but were not lovers. Our friendship is the connection we share. In time, hell
understand.
Yes, when hes back chasing poachers down with the barrel of a gun. He didnt come all the way
home to be your friend. A future with you is what brought him back and is what will keep him here.
You have too much faith in me, I nearly shouted. Corey already has plans to travel again. His return
isnt a plan to settle down here. Its a pit stop. Grab the girl and go.
None of what I said deterred Noah. Thats why Id like to offer you a position as the head of the new
environmental department. Your role will be to assess the impact Stafford Scientific has on the oceans
and rainforests.
It would have been a lot more exciting if the promotion came by merit, not because I was being used
as a puppet by Noah, the man I had once trusted with my life. Not anymore. He didnt think of me or my
happiness, like he once had. Blinded by the one person he couldnt control, he was willing to manipulate
my dreams to suit his own will.
That sounds like it involves a lot of traveling. Isnt that counterproductive?
 If my brother must wander, it provides him with the opportunity to do so in a much safer setting. No
guns. No poachers.
Meaning you choose where he goes and what he does once hes there. Coreys intelligent. In some
ways, more so than you. Dont kid yourself. Hell see right through it.
Not if he thinks hes doing good. His eyes locking onto mine, blazing with a new kind of seduction,
he took my hand. It was familiar, a strength to brace myself against. Please, Imogen. Do this for Corey.
Is it really over between us? I asked, the words trembling from between my lips. Will you deny us
both the love we have for each other? Will you deny yourself your own happiness?
Flinching, as if Id struck him, Noah immediately retracted his hand. I dont Imogen, I have. He
inhaled and put on his mask of indifference. I lied when I said my company was my priority. I founded
the company to save my brother. Hes my priority.
Heartbroken, I shook my head, holding back tears. I can offer Corey my friendship. And Ill do my
best to influence him to make better decisions. Ill even travel with him, if he asks. Keep him safe. But I
wont accept your miserable promotion, nor will I pretend to love a man I dont.
And what if your feelings for him return? he asked coolly.
Thats none of your business, I declared, reaching out to open the door. You no longer have any
authority over my feelings.

***

At Stafford Estate the next morning, when I returned by taxi to pick up my car, Corey waited with two sets
of hang gliders spread out across the front lawn, like birds fallen from the sky. My chest tightened. Before
my conversation with Noah, I would have been frightened for my own personal reasons, but now I was
concerned for Corey as well.
Please tell me youre fixing those for a friend, I said, joining him in front of the death traps.
Youre the only friend I have here, he said shamelessly. Ive done it a few times. Youll love it.
Theres no sense of freedom like it.
I dont know how, I argued, taking a step away.
Well be attached to the same glider together. The other is a spare.
I frowned. If we require a spare, we wont be around to use it. Anyway, there are no mountains in
Chicago.
He looked towards the city in the distance, grinning like a boy about to kick a bucket over. But there
are skyscrapers.
I gaped at him. Im pretty sure thats illegal.
So? Corey dared me, enticing me with a wicked smile that promised utter exhilaration.
Not in this lifetime, I returned. Crash landing into the side of a building is not my idea of fun.
Not even if I crash landed with you? Corey asked with a throatiness that made me doubt he spoke of
the gliders.
It brought me back to Thailand, when we had said our goodbyes. After nearly tearing each others
clothes off in the lake near the waterfall, Corey had driven me back to my hotel, but he couldnt stay, not
with those at the reserve waiting for him, in pursuit of the poachers.
Leaning against his bike, he had pulled me close, clutching me in his arms so tightly I could feel his
pulse beat through me. Pressing his forehead against mine, he whispered, I cant let go of you.
Then dont, Id murmured, blissfully smothered. Stay with me.
Thats not what I mean. Im afraid that after I leave, Ill never see you again.
Youll find me, I told him. I trust that you will.
I already have, he proclaimed, lifting my chin. Ive been waiting a long time, and now youre
here.
So really, I found you, I teased, lost in the jungle of his eyes, burning in their heat.
Theres no way I can keep you here? he asked, the warmth of his breath on my face.
I have to go, as much as you have to stay, but Ill wait for you, Corey. All you have to do is come.
Rapaciously, hed seized my mouth, his lips bruising my own with their devotion. Throwing my arms
around his neck, Id kissed him back with the same achy neediness, a fire spreading through my core to my
heart. It had happened with reckless abandon, but there was a bond between us, shattering both our lives.
Biting my lip, I slowly pulled away, knowing he had to go. Until next time, I said, my hands
trembling against his hard chest.
Next time, there will be no goodbyes, he swore. I wont be foolish enough to let you out of my
sight again.
I hope so.
Kissing my hands, he held them close, hesitant to let go. When he finally did, they felt cold without
him. With a profound sadness, Id watched him drive away, back to the reserve, unknowing of the sweet
danger he was about to put me in, that danger being Noah.
How about we do something just as fun but a lot less deadly? I schemed, returning to the present.
You have my attention.
I want that tattoo, I attested, silently freaking out inside. Do you know any good places to get it
done?
Ill take you to where I got my very first tattoo, he decided, his eyes sparkling. It was right after
high school. I got a shark on my shoulder. Ripping his T-shirt off, he showed me.
Id seen it before. Corey rarely wore a shirt in Thailand. Tracing it with my finger, I asked, Why a
shark?
Because I never move backward, only forward. He grinned and snapped those perfect teeth
together. And I bite, but only in the best way possible.
I dont doubt it.
Shortly after, we were in the city crisscrossing through traffic on his bike. In the jungle, with his
tattoos and maverick lifestyle, Corey was a rogue, but amongst the sleek skyscrapers, he was dangerous, a
man walking the line. Captivated by his rugged obstinacy, my old feelings were clawing their way out of
the hole Id buried them in. I was attracted to Corey. I craved his brand of danger. If I told myself
otherwise, Id be lying.
In a district of the city shadowed by the taller buildings and covered in graffiti and grime, Corey
parked his bike and led me into a tattoo parlor that, from the outside, made me want to spray disinfectant
all over my body, but was surprisingly sterile within.
Show us feather samples, Corey said brusquely to a woman behind the counter, whose head was
completely shaved.
 Since you asked so nicely, she sniped, sliding a book towards him.
Dont piss off the person marking me for life, I silently begged Corey.
Glancing over the counter at a chair that looked like it belonged in a dentists office, apprehension
seized me. I was about to get a tattoo. It was permanent, and it would hurt. Why? Just so Corey didnt go
jump off a building? I couldnt sell my body out so unnecessarily.
Taking a quiet deep breath, I searched inwardly, and I was surprised by what I found. I did want this,
but not because of Corey. As discussed at the biker bar, it was for my mother, my tribute and my
forgiveness to her.
What about this one? he asked, signaling to a brown feather with black tips. From its stem hung a
string of turquoise beads, giving it a very Native American vibe.
Perfect, I said, falling in love with it instantly. Where should I get it?
Here, Corey said, brushing my hair away from my neck and lightly caressing the skin behind my ear.
Okay, I whispered, breathless.
And Ill get it here, he said, pointing to a spot on his abs above a motif of a wolf standing in the
woods.
Youre getting the same tattoo? It made me happy to know wed be sharing the experience together.
Its a great tattoo, he explained, though I knew there was more to it than that. He couldnt hide the
yearning that saturated his eyes.
My phone buzzed, and I sighed, reading the message. Your brother wants to have dinner with us.
When?
Tonight. At the estate. He says hes already sent the cooks in to prepare the meal.
His way of forcing me to agree, Corey said with transparent frustration.
Its a good idea, I resolved. Hes your brother. He loves you.
Corey didnt respond.
You can decide later, I said, forcing myself to look cheerful. Im ready to get inked.
The woman took us behind the counter. Whos up first? she asked. Its only me here today.
Thats better for us, Corey said. I want the feathers to be exactly alike.
Sure thing. How about the girl goes first, before she wets herself?
I scowled, but emboldened by her words, I gathered my confidence and plopped down on the chair.
Im braver than I look.
Well see, she smirked.
After I showed her where I wanted the tattoo to go, she rubbed alcohol behind my ear, prepping my
skin for the continuous drilling of the needle.
You picked one of the most painful places to get inked, she revealed as she stenciled the design on.
Hold onto that courage. Once youre marked, its for life.
Thats the point, I said but squeezed my eyes shut.
You can handle this, Corey said, taking my hand and holding it firmly in his.
The needle touched my skin. Oh my holy bingo, I screeched. It hurt. A lot. But I breathed through the
pain, taking comfort that Corey was here with me, and soon it was over.
The woman held a mirror up. What do you think?
 Beautiful, I said, touching it lightly though it was sore. Im sure my mother would have loved it.

***

Across the dinner table, Noah kept staring at the bandage on my neck, but not with disapproval. More like
intrigue. He hadnt asked about it, but he must have known it was a new tattoo. If hed thought I was
injured, that Id participated in anything risky with Corey, neither of us would have heard the end of it.
Unbearable silence filled the room as we picked at a roast dinner. Awkwardly, I looked around at the
honey-colored walls and up at the brass chandelier where candles, not lights, were aflame. I hadnt
painted in this room, but I had cleaned the walls and polished the trimmings.
You did a good job, Noah praised, breaking the tension as he read my thoughts. I never thanked you
properly for the gift youve given my brother and me. We never should have let the manor fall into ruin.
You did that on your own, Corey pounced.
Noah barely reacted, only to say, Your absence was as equally wrongful as my neglect. The
responsibility of this manor is shared.
I agreed with Noah, but I didnt dare say so to Corey. Peter helped, I told him instead. More
accurately, his girlfriend did, but he pulled a few weeds.
Ill make sure I reward him, Noah pledged.
Corey dropped his fork, seemingly irritated by the conversation. Get to the point, brother. Why are
we here?
Corey I admonished, but I held my tongue. This was between them. I wasnt even really sure
what I was doing there.
Sipping his water, Noah took a minute before he began. I offered Imogen a role as head of my
environmental department, but she declined, so Id like to offer the same position to you. It involves
travel. Youll be doing good deeds. And the annual salary is much more than you have left in your trust
fund.
Furious, Corey pounded his fists against the table. God, Noah, you really dont get it, do you? I travel
because I like it, but the reason I never come home is because of you. Ever since I spent that year in the
hospital when we were boys, youve been trying to rope me into a corral. I dont need a keeper, Noah. I
need a brother. Why cant you just be my brother?
Thats exactly what Im doing, Noah argued. Im looking out for you.
Well, stop, Corey said, rising from the table. I can take care of myself.
Dont go, I urged him. You guys can work through this.
Can we? Corey asked Noah. Will you ever stop looking over my shoulder?
My heart went out to Noah. He obviously cared very much about his brother, clinging to the bond they
had once shared, but it was his downfall. The nanotechnology weve been developing is close to human
trials. If you can put your ways on hold for a few years, then Im certain
No, Corey said firmly. If I stop moving, thats when I truly die. I dont want to be trapped by my
condition
He stopped and looked at me, his eyes grave, pained.
I nodded. I know about your condition, I admitted.
More anger bubbled to the surface. He told you? He had no right
 I held out a placating hand. Its alright. He thought I should know.
None of this is alright, he raged. I want to live in spite of it. Im not taunting death. Im demanding
life.
Noah tried to object. But
Theres no use arguing. In three days, Im heading to South America. He turned to me. Imogen, I
want you to come with me. I know some bastard hurt you recently, so you need to take things slow. Thats
fine. I just want you there.
Fluttering, my stomach could no longer handle any food. I swallowed the carrot in my mouth down
like it were stone. Speechless, I didnt answer.
Think about it, Corey said and stormed off.
Tentatively, I glanced at Noah. The pain of the tattoo needle was nothing compared to the despair that
clouded the air around him. Id never seen him so dejected.
What should I do? I asked him, forgiving the hurt he had caused me.
He gathered his napkin from his lap and threw it on his plate. What do you want to do? he asked,
sounding defeated.
I dont know, I admitted.
You can speak frankly.
I am. South America would be the adventure of a lifetime. And I could use it as an opportunity to
research the conservation practices of Latin countries, the scientist in me rambled. But theres a
problem.
What?
South America doesnt have you.
It didnt help. If anything, it appeared to make him more distraught. Go, he insisted, the word raw
and thick. He wont be as reckless if youre with him. Look after my brother for me. Take care of him.
Keep him alive long enough for me to find the answers that will heal him.

***

I cant believe youre going, Julia pouted as we stood in our front room, trying to enjoy our last night in
the apartment together. We were supposed to have two weeks of fun, but Ive barely seen you since
Corey returned. Its not fair that he gets to steal you away so quickly.
Its a good opportunity for me, I told her, but I was equally disappointed our reign as roomies had
ended so abruptly. But Ill make it up to you when I get back.
If you come back, she huffed. Corey never did.
Im not Corey, I assured her. Theres nothing Im escaping from. I have Peter and my father to
return to. And brothers I still havent met. And you, my sister. You most of all.
Tears streamed down her flawless mocha cheeks, but she smiled. You better. Who else is going to do
all the work at my wedding? Its only a matter of time before Ronald proposes.
Ill be at your wedding, I promised. Whenever and wherever it may be.
A knock on the door interrupted our moment. Come in, Peter! I shouted, recognizing his usual
pattern.
Carrying a huge box of pizza, he strutted into the front room. Its not much of a going away party, but
farewells arent meant to be big. When you come back, thats when we celebrate, he stated.
For the rest of the evening, we stuffed our face full of pepperoni and conspired about the monster
robots we were certain were kept on a secret floor at Stafford Scientific. Well, I conspired. Julia and
Peter listened, rolling their eyes every five minutes.
When the sun rose the next morning, I woke on the couch and furtively lifted my body off the cushions,
careful not to wake Julia who slept on the other end, or Peter who drooled pepperoni grease onto the
floor. Leaving my house key on the counter, I looked at my friends with the greatest of love, so thankful
they were in my life.
Blowing them both a kiss, I grabbed my bags and left, having never been good with farewells,
especially not when I was the one disappearing.
 CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Colombia

Visible from the small cargo plane Corey and I were passengers on, the landscape of Colombia was
covered with lush jungle valleys and mountains that stood proud like monuments. It was exhilarating to
witness firsthand nature that was so untouched and organic. The environmentalist in me was doing
backflips inside.
I cant believe were here! I shouted over the drone of the plane. This is magnificent.
I knew you would like it, Corey said from the seat across from me. His eyes danced at my reaction.
Its stunning, but not nearly as much as you are.
What is the village like? I asked, changing the focus away from me.
Prior to leaving, I hadnt asked many questions. I was only going for Corey, to keep my promise to
Noah to watch over his brother. Thats what I told myself. Corey was leading the way, and I followed,
knowing only that we were headed towards a village where I could do my ecological research. In my
rucksack, I had numerous empty journals, elated that I was actually out of the classroom and office and in
the field once more. I wasnt sure what Corey would be doing in that time, but I guessed it had something
to do with saving the rainforest or the jaguars or something equally related to the time hed spent in
Thailand.
Youll see for yourself, Corey answered. Were going to land in a few minutes.
Thank goodness! Im starting to feel a bit air sick. Between the private jet and this thing, I dont want
to see another plane for a gazillion years.
Thats the plan, he said, beaming. Im arranging it so that youll never want to leave.
The plane dipped to the side, and we made a shaky descent down into a verdant valley covered in
dense brush with a river snaking through it. Flying over Colombia, wed seen many modern cities, but an
aerial view of the village revealed round huts with grass roofing built a short distance from more
contemporary blocked structures.
Upon landing, Corey took my hand and helped me out of the plane. Thrilled, I breathed in the fresh air,
much purer than Chicago. Exotic native women in long skirts and modern T-shirts came out to greet us,
their smiles curious and wide. Several had babies tied to their backs. Behind them stood men in soccer
jerseys and tracksuit bottoms. It was an integration of the old world with the new, and I was honored to be
here to witness it.
Dont let the setting fool you, Corey whispered in my ear, his arm around my waist, fiercely
protective. The people who live in this village choose to be here because of the agricultural benefits.
Theyre an incredibly astute community who have invented one of the worlds most sophisticated
irrigation systems.
Then why are they staring at us? I asked quietly.
 Because were here to help.
I still didnt understand, but I lifted my hand and waved. Hola.
I few said hello back, and the crowd dispersed as a man wearing an army uniform greeted us.
Corey! he cheered, and they shook hands like old fraternity brothers. Long time no see, man. Thanks
for coming out on such short notice.
Of course, Corey said, his arm still clutching my waist. I had to answer the call.
More poachers? I asked.
You could say that, Corey replied, and then he introduced us. Imogen, this is Barrett. He made all
the arrangements.
Nice to meet you, I said. This village, this country its amazing.
I hope you feel the same after you see your residence, Barrett said and laughed heartily.
After the comment, I expected him to lead us down to the grass huts, but he took us to one of the block
units a short walk away. It was a single room with a kitchenette and a door to a bathroom, but it was
actually quite spacious and decorated with a refined jungle charm. A bed with a pillowed mattress and
thin sheets on top sat with a palm-wood headboard against the back wall. Closer to the door was a
hammock stretched between the walls. There was no television, but a radio rested on a small writing
desk, and there were outlets around for electronics.
Its better than I could ever imagine, I said honestly, setting my rucksack down on the floor next to
the writing desk.
Are you sure? Corey asked. I know its not exactly fine living.
Its good living, I assured him, flopping down on the bed. Comfy.
Theres hot water in the bathroom, Barrett informed us. Grocery stores dont exactly exist in these
parts, but the locals will be bringing you food out of gratitude for what youre doing here. He tapped the
door anxiously and addressed Corey. Theres a meeting in an hour. Settle in then join us.
See you then, Corey said, and Barrett left.
Hes friendly, I acknowledged. Why do the villagers feel so indebted to us?
Its a long story. Ill explain later.
Standing by the door, he tested the locks, making sure they were bolted tight. Only when the door was
shut did I realize there were no windows in the room.
Thats strange, I mused. And dark.
Its to keep away the mosquitos.
Satisfied, he opened the door once more, and light came flooding back in. I looked around, curious
about our sleeping arrangements. About the bed
Corey flashed me a smile. Dont worry, babe. Ive got the hammock.
Maybe I wanted the hammock, I teased.
Then its all yours, as long as you dont mind me sleeping in it with you.
Floating in my good mood, I hopped off the bed, pulled my journals out of my rucksack, and stacked
them neatly on top of the writing desk. I think Ill like it here.
I think you already do, Corey observed. Thats the wildness in you. Nature is where you belong.
Why else would you have become an environmentalist? Seeing you in the city was like watching a star
being buried underground. In the wilderness, you shine.
 I cant argue with poetry like that, I said, yawning. Do we have time to sleep before this meeting?
Dont worry about the meeting. Its nothing you have to concern yourself with. Sleep all you want.
Unable to resist, I crawled beneath the sheet, more for comfort than warmth, Colombia was hot, and I
drifted off into a sound slumber, waking only when I heard Corey come through the door. It was night, his
entrance lit by moonlight.
Whats in your hands? I asked, struggling to open my eyes, still exhausted.
Dont be scared; its just a rifle.
Instantly, I reached beside me and turned on the overhead light. Like a hunter in the woods, Corey held
a rifle between his fists. Worse, he was dressed in camouflage.
You need to tell me whats going on, I demanded.
Dont worry about it. I wont let anything happen to you.
It was not at all consoling. Enraged, I rushed over to him and covered his hands with my own so that
we both held the gun. I gazed into his eyes, searching. What are we doing here?
Youre here to study the environment.
And you?
I cant focus with you so close, he said hoarsely, staring at me with a feral yearning that made his
pupils large and engulfing. If you want answers, youre going to have to let go of my hands.
I should have let go, but I couldnt, trapped in time, as if we were in Thailand once again and none of
the last few months had happened. I dont want to, I breathed.
Dropping the gun, allowing it to clatter to the ground, Corey ensnared my cheeks between his strong
but gentle hands and kissed me with the passion of lust pent-up for a thousand years. His kiss tasted good,
my appetite as strong as his in the intoxicating jungle. The rhythm of his tongue was familiar, an echo from
the many kisses we had shared before.
Heated, he tenderly guided me to the bed, his mouth locked to mine, but before we reached it, the
reality of what was about to happen caused me to push him away.
I cant, I gasped, out of breath. Im sorry.
Dont apologize, he told me. Its my fault. I know you want to take it slow.
No, I stated, my heart pounding. I couldnt believe I was about to do this, but I had to. Things had
escalated too quickly. I do have to apologize, for a lot of things.
Patient, Corey said nothing, listening.
Falling on the bed, my head dropped down to my knees as I held my stomach. I never should have
come here, not without telling you the truth first.
He kneeled beside me and stroked my hair back, running his thumb down my tattoo. What is it? Tell
me, Imogen, he said soothingly.
Shaking, I forced myself to sit up and face him. Before I say anything, please understand that no one
thought you were coming back. You hadnt been home in years. I didnt believe them at first, but when you
didnt contact me
Is this about the guy you were seeing, because its okay. I mean, we had something special in
Thailand, and were building on that now, but I could hardly expect you to wait around for me.
My lips trembled. But I promised you I would.
Made in the heat of the moment. Its completely forgivable that you found someone else in between,
especially since I didnt contact you. I should have. No wonder you didnt believe I was coming back.
I swallowed. No one thought you were. Thats really important. Because I shuddered out a
breath. Because the man I fell in love with was your brother.
 CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Corey fell on the bed beside me, clearly distressed, but not nearly as angry as I thought hed be after
learning Id dated his brother. Well, dated was a loose term, but no way was I going into the details with
him.
Dont be mad at Noah, I implored. He was adamant that you werent going to return, that history
spoke louder than promises. And he wasnt just saying that to be with me. He never believed youd come
home. Deep down, it was his biggest regret. I saw it in him. He missed you, but he thought you were gone
for good.
Its a punch in the gut, Corey admitted. Im not really sure how to process it. I told him to look
after you, not He covered his eyes with his hands. And yet, I can see it from your perspective. Youre
beautiful. He looks like me so he smirked deliciously, hes obviously good looking. I wasnt there.
He was.
Its complicated, I murmured, dejected.
Thats an understatement, he said, setting his hand on my knee. Why did it end?
We wanted different things, I said honestly. And so we moved on. I refused to tell him it had only
been after his arrival. Corey deserved the truth, but not the whole truth.
He sighed. At least now I understand why you didnt rip my clothes off the minute you saw me, he
joked through his gloom.
So what do we do? I asked. Should I leave?
No way, he said, pulling me into his arms. It will take time, but I believe in us. Well get there.
Exhaling, I shuddered with emotion. I should have waited for you. It would have made everything so
much easier.
Maybe this will make you feel better
Before he could say more, I leaned away from him. Dont say you met a girl in Thailand, because I
dont think I can handle it.
Smiling, he brushed a strand of my hair away from my sleepy eyes. There was a girl in Thailand, and
shes right here, in this room with me, entrancing me with her wildness.
Shes a lucky girl.
Not as lucky as she thinks. I kept something from you too. The reason I returned from Thailand when
I did was because I was summoned here, by Barrett. Hes an old friend of mine who lends his military
background to those in need. About two weeks ago, some men from this village were taken hostage by
guerilla soldiers who live in the jungle.
I was horrified. Why?
The irrigation system the village built is patented, the design ready to be sold to the highest bidder.
The revolutionaries want the blueprints to sell for themselves.
Frightened, I completely forgot about my earlier confession. So youre here to take the hostages back
by force?
If it comes to that. Were in the middle of negotiations now.
I know you, Corey. Youre not here to negotiate. Youre here to be reckless.
Its not reckless when youre saving lives. How is it any different from when I protected the herd of
elephants by chasing down the poachers?
Because the poachers didnt have human targets. They couldnt come into a village, kidnap men, and
get away with it. Hyperventilating, I fanned myself, trying to force in a breath of air. Were not safe, are
we?
The soldiers wont be back, he assured me. They have their hostages. Now theyre waiting for the
patent.
I didnt believe him. Then why did you check the locks?
You. When Im gone, I want to make sure you feel safe.
I grabbed his arm and stared straight into his eyes. Ill never feel safe if youre not here. Please dont
do anything that can take you away from me.
Ill come back, he promised, brushing his finger against my cheek. You know I will.

***

Next to the river, I sat in the tall grass with my feet in the water. It wasnt safe to drink or bathe in, but a
local woman had said feet were fine, as long as I rubbed them in the grass afterwards. The vegetation
wasnt exactly safe either, not with snakes and other crawlies stalking around. It was worth the risk. From
above, the sun scorched the earth. I didnt know how the land managed to remain so lush under the brutal
sun.
Corey was gone, out on a scouting mission that left my belly in tangles waiting for his return. My
journals were untouched on the writing desk. Fearing for Corey, I couldnt focus, not on my research, not
on anything.
Nearby, a group of women washed clothes in the river as children ran around their feet. I didnt stray
far from them, not after learning what Corey had told me the previous night. I still couldnt believe hed
dragged me into the middle of guerilla warfare. It was shocking, but at the same time it was refreshing that
Corey judged me strong enough to handle such an environment.
When the sun began to scald my skin, I returned to our residence and picked up my phone, tempted to
call Julia. We were on the same time zone, but I realized shed be in the middle of work, while I was in
the middle of fretting. I couldnt do this every day.
Praying for the hostage situation to end peacefully and soon, I climbed into the hammock and stared at
the ceiling as I swayed, too restless to sleep but immobilized by thoughts of Corey. Where he was. What
he was doing.
Hours later, when he lurched in, I nearly cried with relief. How did it go?
I tried to sit up, but it was impossible to do in a hammock, and I nearly spun around if not for Coreys
swift reflexes. From what we could see through the sniper lenses, the camp is a lot bigger than we
thought. Four men were taken hostage, but our intel tells us they have at least six men there. This isnt
some insignificant unit. Its a massive outpost.
 It gave me the chills. Wheres the government? Why arent they intervening?
There are loads of guerilla soldiers out there. The government doesnt have the capacity to handle
every case. If Barrett hadnt come to organize the rescue, the village probably would have been forced to
hand over their patent. If not, the men wouldnt be returning home.
I felt sick. You mean the soldiers would kill them?
Not likely. Theyd use them as manual labor, probably like the two unknown hostages at the camp.
This is why I enjoy being an environmentalist. Nature can be cruel, but its nothing compared to
man.
I couldnt agree more, Corey said, looking at me with regret. Its why Im sending you back. Its
not as safe here as I thought. No one in this village is safe. Im going to call Noah and ask him to send his
private jet to pick you up.
Just me? I asked sadly, because I already knew the answer.
Holding the hammock steady, he crawled in with me and held me, laying back so that we swung
leisurely, the ceiling our sky. With the heat outside invading our room and the heat between us licking our
skin, I felt dizzy interred in Coreys arms, but there was nowhere else I wanted to be. Not because I loved
him, but because we truly did have a connection that was inexplicable.
When this is all over, Ill take you on an actual vacation. Somewhere safe, like Disneyland.
Ive never been to Disneyland, I told him. But the mouse kind of freaks me out.
He laughed, shaking the hammock. As he did, I felt the vibrations across his chest, penetrating deep
into his heart which, to me, sounded perfectly healthy. Well figure it out, he said.
Noah will give you an earful, I warned. Hell demand you come home with me.
I can handle my brother.
I know where Id like to go when you return, I decided.
And wheres that?
To Milwaukee. Id like you to meet my grandmas friends at the senior center. Theyll get a kick out
of you.
Again, he laughed. Id like that. It sounds perfect.
Corey? I asked, biting my lower lip. If we cant get to the place that we were at before, will we
make it as friends?
Of course, he insisted with unmistakable certainty. But Im going to make sure that doesnt
happen.
Startled, I lifted my ear, certain Id heard a woman scream. What was that?
Corey cocked his head, but there was nothing.
Never mind, I said, shaking it away.
Until there was another scream.
This time Corey heard it. We leapt out of the hammock, instantly on guard. From the corner of the
room, Corey grabbed the rifle, and to my absolute horror, he handed it to me. Dont be afraid to pull that
trigger! he ordered. Keep the doors locked. Dont open them for anyone!
Before I could protest, he ran out the door.
Tears running down my cheeks, I locked it behind him, then stood as far away from it as possible,
backing into the corner by the bed, shaking uncontrollably. There was a lot of commotion outside. When
gunfire sounded, I cried out loud, more frightened than Id ever been. I was tempted to drop the gun and
cover my ears, but thinking of the hostages held prisoner in the jungle, I kept it sturdy on the door.
Hours past, and the village quieted. I didnt know if it was a good or bad sign. Without any windows
in our residence, I was blind to the terror around me. Still weeping, I crawled on the ground, the rifle in
my hand and reached up to the writing desk for my phone.
Noah, I sobbed into the phone when he answered, trying to keep quiet. Help me.

***

I dont know how much time passed as I lay on the floor near the bed, sprawled out with the rifle in my
hand, squinting at the crack in the door to see if it was night or day. It didnt really matter. There was no
way that door was opening, not unless Corey walked in. At one point, someone banged on the door, but I
didnt understand the language, so I kept quiet, unsure if they were friend or foe.
Sometime later, when there was a knock on the door again, I heard someone call out my name.
Come in, Peter, I said in my delirium.
Imogen! a man yelled. Its me. Open up.
Corey. Finding the energy to stand, I pressed my head against the door. Corey, is that you? I hissed.
Its Noah.
Thats right. Id called Noah. Swimming in the torment of my fear, Id almost forgotten. Endlessly
shaking, I unlocked the bolts and pulled the door open, blinking back the glare of the sun, blind to who
waited for me.
Imogen! With blatant desperation, Noah pushed his way into the room and clutched me like a child
to a doll. Thank God youre safe, he whispered into my ear.
Accepting that it really was him and not some delusion, I wept into his shoulder, trusting his strength
and authority, my fears pouring out of me like a hailstorm. I was so scared, I cried. I didnt know what
was going on. But you found me.
Its over, he promised, tightening his grip around me. Youre safe now. Im taking you home.
Inconsolable, I didnt protest when he took me into the bathroom and turned on a cool shower.
Stripping me down, he shepherded me into the water, and though it soaked the sleeves of his dress shirt,
he scrubbed my hair and ran a cloth over my body, helping me wash the pain away. When I was clean, he
helped me dress into a fresh pair of shorts and a tank top. I didnt pay much attention to what he was
doing, growing numb.
What happened? I asked, sitting on the bed with my arms crossed as he packed my bags. It was
boiling out, but I was cold.
There was a raid, he told me. The revolutionaries invaded the village in search of the patent.
I heard a woman scream, I recalled. And then Corey ran
I stopped. Corey. He hadnt come back yet.
Wheres Corey?
Noah didnt answer. Instead, he took my journals from the writing desk and tucked them gently into my
rucksack.
Oh God.
 Tell me! I screeched, finding the silence unbearable.
He set the rucksack down and faced me, sorrow etched within the creases of his face. He was
captured and taken hostage.
I gasped and shook my head. No. That cant be.
Its the truth.
Looking at my rucksack, I felt a pain in my stomach. All I wanted to do was get on the private jet and
never return, but not if Corey was prisoner within the jungle. We cant go, I insisted. Not until hes
released. He needs us here fighting for him.
You think I havent considered that? Noah said, his anguish evident. Im coming back, as soon as I
see you home safely.
I wont go, I proclaimed.
Its what hed want, Noah insisted.
Probably, but he wouldnt leave me, and I wont leave him.
Noah swallowed. You love him.
I shook my head, looking at the brother who held my heart. No. Not Corey. But I care deeply for him.
We understand each other. We share a wildness.
You really wont go, will you? Noah asked, studying me.
No, I said boldly. I wont.
Dropping his broad shoulders, he pulled me off the bed until we knelt on the floor facing each other.
The sorrow that he carried terrified me. Taking my hands, he squeezed them forebodingly. Theres
more.
His voice shook as he began, and I knew it was bad.
I talked to Barrett on the flight over, he said, tears filling his eyes. A few hours after the raid,
reports started circulating that one of the hostages perished unexpectedly. They think it was Corey.
Theres no reason you should suffer the torment of waiting, not when youve already been through so
much. I was only going to tell you after we knew for sure.
Taking a shuddering breath, I let my own tears fall, swollen with heartache. But they dont know for
sure? I asked, trying to grasp on to hope before my body and soul crumbled completely.
No. They dont know for sure, but theyre pretty certain. Pressing his hands to his head, he wept,
great aching sobs that tore me in two. I couldnt save him. I tried, and I failed.

***

The following day, we still hadnt heard any news about Corey. Swallowed by our grief, we paced the
room, listening to the radio. At times, Noah left to get food from the canteen. More men like Barrett and
Corey had arrived vigilantes summoned to protect the village and rescue the hostages. It was a war
between armies, or so Noah told me. He wouldnt let me leave the residence. Vaulted in, I was safe.
You know I love you, he burst out one evening as we sat outside, needing the fresh air to fend off the
walls and the worry. Even a man as austere as Noah Stafford could be worn down by the torment of
waiting, left raw, scoured down to his hidden truths.
I know, I replied, picking at a blade of grass. But sometimes love isnt enough. You pushed me
away.
 Because I was in a race against time to save Corey, a race Id been stuck in ever since we were kids.
I didnt know how to break free. And then you came along, and you showed me what happiness looked
like, but I couldnt let go.
Hes your twin. I understand, I said. Not in the way you handled it, but why you did it. You were
coming from a place of love. I cant fault you for that.
You can, and you should, he insisted. I knew you wanted more, but I was too afraid to provide it,
even though youre the one person in this world I want to give everything to.
I couldnt comment, couldnt say a word. Not with rumors of Coreys death circulating throughout the
camp. Already, Id been offered black beads of mourning, mistaken for his wife. I wouldnt wear them,
even if the reports claimed Coreys heart had given out. I refused to believe it, not because of my own
instincts, but because of Noahs. Twins shared a bond no one could begin to understand. Noah was
devastated, but he wasnt broken, and that gave me hope that somewhere inside of him, he knew Corey
was alive.
We didnt have to wait much longer to find out. Later that night, waking us from vulgar nightmares, we
got the call. Noah picked up his phone, listening intently, unreadable. Holding my breath, I waited for him
to deliver the news.
Pale, he dropped his phone on the writing desk and turned to me. The reports, they were about
Corey.
 CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

I stopped breathing, my chest filling with intolerable pain, making it impossible to speak. Hugging a
pillow from the bed, I slumped onto the floor and rocked back and forth, in too much anguish to cry.
Gently, Noah took the pillow from my arms. Imogen, listen to me, he commanded. The reports
were about Corey, but they were inaccurate. Hes not dead. Hes in the hospital, having collapsed. The
revolutionaries must have thought he had died and left him. He was found and taken to an emergency
room. Im going to go get him now, and then were all going home.
Hes alive? I needed to hear him say it again.
Beaming, Noah nodded. Hes alive.
I threw my arms around Noahs neck, elated, and somewhere in the sea of emotions that poured
between us, tearing at our depths with its powerful current, my lips found his, and we kissed with a
passion that outshone the sun. Like a picture reel, the time wed shared together in Chicago flashed before
me the seduction, the storm, his lessons, my father, the gala they seared into my brain. It was
healing, drawing us together in a way that left me breathless and weak when it was over.
And undeniably still in love.

***

With reluctance, Id watched Noah walk out the door, fearing the worst. The jungle was a dangerous
place, and Corey was far away. But I had nothing to worry about. When the door opened again, the
Stafford brothers walked in together, Noah supporting Corey on his shoulder.
Happiness burst through me as I stood to greet them. Corey, youre here.
And so are you, he returned, beaming through a slightly bruised eye. I knew you could handle it.
Youre strong.
We all are, I said. And now that weve proven it, lets go home. Im sick of this place.
I reached for my rucksack, but Corey didnt follow. Instead, he hopped over to the bed and sat. Im
not leaving.
What? I cried. After everything youve been through?
It was only a concussion. It wasnt my heart. Im fine. And now that Ive seen firsthand the conditions
the hostages are living in, I cant go back, not until theyre safe. I have important intel I can provide. They
need me here.
Recognizing the stubbornness in his tone, having heard it many times from Noah, I accepted that there
was nothing we could say or do to change Coreys mind. I was devastated. I cant stay, I muttered
softly.
I know, Corey said sadly, our paths dividing once again Youre not meant to.
 Grimacing as he listened, Noah didnt look any less distraught than the rest of us, but for once, he
didnt argue. Promise us youll come home and visit when this is all over.
I will, Corey vowed. I may even stick around for a while.
With a heavy spirit, I threw my rucksack over my back. If you dont come home, well find you, I
said, attempting a smile.
Corey took a deep breath. I know you will. Be happy. Be together. Love each other. Do it for me.
Hugging him goodbye, I prayed that he would stay safe, and before a fresh batch of tears could fall, I
hurried to the door. Noah shook his hand and followed, but as we were about to leave, Corey called out to
his brother.
Yes? Noah asked.
Corey glanced at me, his eyes shining, and then he turned to Noah. Dont be a fucking idiot. You
know what you have. Watch over her.
Noah stalked across the room and grabbed his brother, pulling him into his arms. The tears Id been
holding back fell as I watched the brothers hug, hanging onto each other, their fingers digging into each
others backs.
They stood that way for long moments, not saying a word.
I love you, Corey, Noah said finally, pulling back and clapping a hand on his twins shoulder.
I love you too, bro. Now go. Be happy together.
Noah nodded and stepped away. Turning, he took my hand, then glanced back at his brother. You too,
Corey. Then he grinned. You officially have my permission to be happy however and wherever you
want.
Coreys laughter followed us out the door.

***

On the private jet back to Chicago, I sat across from Noah, our knees bumping against each other as we
drank each other in.
Are you okay? he asked me and leaned forward to take my hands in his.
Linking our fingers together, I met the eyes I loved so much. Corey had freed me from any emotional
promise that had once held us together, and I was free to be here with Noah, if he still wanted me.
Im sorry, I told him and watched his face cloud with pain. I realized he thought I was rejecting him
and quickly went on, Im sorry Ive been so confused. So hurt. So unsure of what to do or who to turn
to.
His face softened. No, Imogen. Its me whos sorry. Ive allowed my brother to be the wall between
me and the world for too long. Way too long. He was my excuse to hide in my castle, as you called it. My
excuse to not let anyone close. He swallowed and his eyes glistened. My excuse to push you away.
And now? I asked him, holding my breath.
He gripped my fingers tighter. And now Im tired of being a fucking idiot. Im tired of being alone.
Tired of fighting what I feel for you. Tired of waking up in the morning and wishing you were beside me.
He unbuckled his seatbelt and moved closer to me, stroking a thumb over my bottom lip. I love you,
Imogen. And I know youre still probably confused about what you feel for me and for Corey, but
No! I said, cutting him off and releasing my own seatbelt, scooting forward to the edge of my seat.
Im not confused at all. I love you. I love the compassion you hold for people youll never know. I love
how youre willing to risk your happiness so others can have theirs.
He pulled me to him and I crawled into his lap, pressing my face into his warm neck.
I dont deserve you, he said, kissing my hair, his hand stroking my thigh.
I looked up at him, needing to see his eyes. That isnt true. We all deserve love. Even the lord of the
city deserves happiness.
My heart squeezed in my chest as a tear slid down his cheek. I followed its path with my finger, not
brushing it away, but allowing it to sink into his skin, giving him back the emotion he so seldom gave.
Ill never see him again, Noah said and another tear traced the same path.
You will, I promised. In your thoughts. In your heart. The love you have for him will never leave
you.
It isnt the same, he said and kissed my thumb.
No, it isnt. But love is love. Death or distance can never destroy it.
He kissed me then, a gentle meeting of our lips. Then we made love, our bodies melting into each
other, taking and giving. No lessons. Only love.
Later, fully clothed, Noah continued to hold me tight as we cuddled in his seat, ignoring the
announcement to prepare for landing. Stroking my hair with a soft affection, we were too happy to move,
and so we stayed, staring out the window, lost in our bliss.
Chicago appeared below us, full of daylight.

The End
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 FREE BONUS NOVEL

BLITZED BY THE BILLIONAIRE

ALICE WARD
 BOOK DESCRIPTION

After a lifetime of traveling the world with my uncle, I was ready for a normal, routine life. I thought I
found it too. A job teaching kindergarten, good friends, and a stable man by my side. I was happy
mostly. Until I walked in on a surprise that shook my world.

Luckily, my friend Ethan McAlister was there to pick up the pieces.

Friend. Who was I kidding?

The star quarterback for the countrys newest football team, Ethan was charming, sexy, and the last thing I
needed. His life was the opposite of normal and routine. Our passions very different.

But when he touched me none of that mattered.

Except to the people dedicated to ripping us apart.

Would anything ever be normal again?

 CHAPTER 1

I pinned a final cardboard rainbow to my Welcome to Kindergarten bulletin board and stepped back to
admire my work. I pictured my tiny students filing into the classroom the following day. Their little
smiles. The chatter. Even the ones with tears trying so hard to be brave. I hoped the cheerful board
welcomed those little ones most of all.
A loud knock drew my attention from the welcoming rainbow to my classroom door. My boyfriend,
Ben, strode into the room with a broad smile. As our elementary schools physical education teacher, he
was in his standard gym clothes attire sweatpants and t-shirt. He looked sexy as hell, like hed just
rolled out of bed, and I silently cursed the fact that our relationship was hands off while we were
working.
Hey, Emily, he greeted me with a kiss on the forehead. The board looks great. Are you about to
wrap things up in here? Im running to the club before the staff meeting. Want to join me?
In addition to teaching PE, Ben oversaw the boys clubs pee-wee football program. Between after
school practices with the schools sports teams and his time at the club, he didnt have a lot of free time.
But I was always happy to tag along and watch him with the kids.
I wish I could, I replied with a sigh, pulling my long brunette hair into a sloppy bun. Linda and I
have a meeting with the Hollis family. We each have one of their twins this year, and they both have
severe food allergies.
Ben raised an eyebrow and perched on one of the miniature desks. Didnt you two meet with them
last week?
I nodded and sank into my cushioned desk chair. It was the first time Id been off my feet all day.
They just need one last bit of reassurance that we understand what Alfie and Alana are and arent
allowed to eat. I think theyll ease up after school starts and they adjust to not having the kids at home all
the time. Im happy to reassure them as often as necessary, but I do wish I could go to the club with you.
Ben glanced down at his watch and rose to his feet. Speaking of which, I should get going if I want to
get back in time for the meeting. Want to order Thai and stay at my place tonight? he asked, a grin lifting
one corner of his mouth.
The grin was contagious and I couldnt stop myself from smiling back. Yeah, I think thats a tradition
we should keep.
Perfect. See you soon, baby. He blew me a kiss and left the room. I stared at the closed classroom
door and thought back to the night wed become a couple.
Ben and I met the previous summer when we were both hired to teach at The Day School, Portlands
state-of-the-art charter school in the working class King neighborhood. We were both fresh out of college
and anxious about starting our careers. We bonded over our newbie status at all of the staff development
sessions, but our relationship was strictly platonic until the night before classes started.
 Ben found me in my classroom that night quizzing myself with flashcards of my students names and
faces. I remembered being terrified on my first day of kindergarten and I was determined to make the day
as easy as possible for my students. Ben suggested that we have dinner, one thing led to another, and wed
been together ever since.
Ben was a walking clich in the best possible ways. Hed been the star quarterback at his high school
and went to Iowa State on a football scholarship. A torn ACL ended his senior season early, destroying
his dreams to play in the NFL. After graduation, he returned to Portland to follow his next best dream of
one day coaching his old high school team to a state championship.
Physically, Ben was exactly what youd envision if someone uttered the words prom king. He was
tall and broad, with sandy blond hair, clear blue eyes, and dimples that made it impossible to stay mad at
him for more than a few minutes. The most irresistible thing about him was he had no idea just how cute
he really was. Ben was modest, reliable, and, in my friend Melissas opinion, predictable to a fault. But
after the life Id lived, predictable was just what I needed.
My parents, Emma and Lee Kinkaid, were killed by a drunk driver on their way home from a
Christmas party when I was just three months old. According to my Uncle Walt, it was the first time my
mother left me. She hadnt planned on joining my father at his offices annual party, but Uncle Walt was in
town for the holidays and he offered to watch me so they could enjoy some time together.
A few hours later, a police officer arrived at the house and broke the news. Uncle Walt was my only
surviving relative, save my mothers parents who were already in a retirement home and in no condition
to raise an infant. Uncle Walt adopted me and added my parents combined names to the moniker theyd
given me, making my full name Emily Catherine Grace Kinkaid. It was a mouthful, but I was proud to
carry my parents names.
Uncle Walt was only twenty-four when he became my parent. I imagine most single men would
immediately start looking for a wife after being thrust into instant, unexpected fatherhood. But not Uncle
Walt. He was an incurable bachelor who, in his words, loved women too much to settle for just one. To
his credit, I didnt realize what a player he was when I was a child. I just thought he worked a lot. When I
finally put two and two together, I kept my revelation to myself. I was old enough to realize hed gone to
great lengths to keep his private life out of our house and I had no desire to call him out on it.
Uncle Walt had been completely unprepared to raise a child, but he figured things out the best he could
along the way. In so many ways, he succeeded. Although my legal father, he never referred to himself as
my dad. Instead, he filled our apartments with pictures of my parents and told me every story he
remembered about them. When I went to him for advice, hed tell me not just his opinion, but what he
thought they would say as well. Because of him, I knew them despite the fact that I didnt have a single
memory of their faces.
My uncle loved me and I have no doubt that he always had my best interests in mind. But my
childhood wasnt what anyone would call stable. Uncle Walt was a pilot and we moved a lot as he was
promoted up the ranks at Universal Air. He doted on me when he was home, but I spent a lot of time with
nannies during the school year and at camps during the summer. Uncle Walt was very careful about who
stayed with me and unlike most of the other pilots kids I knew, I never resented him for leaving. There
had always been an unspoken understanding between us. Neither of us had the lives we were supposed
to, but it was okay because we were in it together.
There were benefits to my uncles job. He got three weeks of paid vacation every year and we never
had to pay for flights. That meant three weeks of exploring a new and exciting country every summer. But
the vacation memories provided little comfort when arriving to yet another new school as the new girl,
year after year. It wasnt until I started college that I developed real, lasting friendships.
 After a lifetime of never knowing when Uncle Walt would announce that we were moving again, a
rooted man like Ben was exactly what I needed. Hed grown up in Portland behind an honest-to-God
white picket fence. His father, Carl, managed a branch of Pacific Bank and his mother, Lois, ran the local
soup kitchen. Ben was the middle child, sandwiched between his sisters, Holly and Shannon.
The entire family still met for Sunday morning service at United Methodist, followed by brunch at the
nearby IHOP. The Garrison family welcomed me with open arms and I settled in just as eagerly. I longed
to become an official member of a regular family. And I had a hunch that my wait was almost over.
A knock on the door snapped my attention back to the present.
Come in, I called out, glancing at the clock on my wall. Mr. and Mrs. Hollis were due in fifteen
minutes.
The door swung open and Linda, the other kindergarten teacher, stepped into the room. She left the
door cracked and squeezed behind the nearest desk with an exhausted sigh.
I cant believe the kids show up tomorrow. You were right, I should have skipped the trip to Atlanta
last week and gotten started on putting my room together. Im going to be here half the night. She twisted
a crimson red curl between her fingers and stretched her long legs across the aisle.
Its not every day that your high school sweetheart shows up out of nowhere and sweeps you off your
feet again. How is Henry, by the way? I asked with a grin.
Linda blushed and a broad smile spread across her face. Hes fantastic. Weve been on the phone
almost nonstop since I flew home. Hes packing his things in a U-Haul as we speak. He should be here by
the end of the week.
I cant wait to meet him, I replied, my grin growing wider.
A year ago, that would have been a polite lie. When I first arrived at The Day School, Id been put off
by Lindas aggressively bubbly personality. She was the type of person whod never met a stranger and
Id found her instant openness and constant chatter incredibly overwhelming. But shed grown on me over
the year, and I was genuinely happy to see her so love struck.
I cant wait to introduce you, she gushed. This all still feels like some sort of dream. Its all so
exciting Henrys so exciting. He took me to look at rings while I was in Atlanta. And hes already
talking about me quitting my job so I can travel with him.
Thats great, I told her, my enthusiasm forced this time. She saw right through it and raised an
eyebrow.
Go ahead, she insisted. Just say it.
If your dream is to travel the world with Henry, by all means follow it. I just think you should keep in
mind that living out of boxes and suitcases gets old pretty quick.
Linda crossed her legs and rolled her green eyes, her freckled face lit with amusement. Its not like
wed be traveling nonstop. Henry will be based here and I can stay behind when I feel like it. I understand
that traveling gets old. What I dont understand is how youre happy to settle for a vanilla life after seeing
first-hand how big this world is and how much it has to offer.
If it had been the first time shed called my life vanilla, I may have been a little insulted. But that was
her go-to term to describe the life I wanted with Ben.
Im not settling. I love Ben, I reminded her for the umpteenth time.
You love the idea of him, she corrected me.
I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off.
 I know youre tired of me bringing this up. But were friends, right?
Right, I agreed with a resigned sigh.
And as your friend, its my job to make sure youre honest with yourself. I know youre hoping for a
proposal. And I think you might be right. Ben may be close to popping the question. But Ive seen the way
you look at him, Emily. You love him, but youre not in love with him. Theres no spark, no fire between
you. I get that youre in love with his family. But if you and Ben get married, hes the one youll be living
with, day in and day out. She leaned forward, her eyes earnest. I dont want you to wake up ten years
from now and realize youve made a huge mistake.
I straightened my shoulders and diverted my eyes toward the window. I couldnt look at Linda
because a small voice in the back of my head was wondering if she was right. Id made that mistake in
college. I started dating my boyfriend Ryan the first semester of my sophomore year. Like Ben, Ryan had a
large, stable family that had instantly accepted me into their fold. And I got so comfortable with them so
quickly, I ignored the fact that Ryan and I were incompatible for a year and a half.
This situation is entirely different. Ben and I love each other. Maybe we dont spark. But we
understand each other. We can depend on each other. And Ill take that over fire any day.
I cleared my throat and turned back to Linda. Like you said, Ive seen what the world has to offer.
Now, I just want to carve out my own small, happy piece of it. Im happy for you and Henry, I really am.
Do you plan to finish out the school year? Or am I going to have to watch Mr. and Mrs. Hollis quiz your
replacement on the proper administration of an Epi-pen? I asked, attempting to bring our conversation
back around to light-hearted.
Linda smiled back at me and climbed out of the tiny chair. I havent made any decisions yet. But
speaking of the Hollis family, we should head down to the nurses office. One of the commandments of
teaching kindergarten is thou shalt not keep nervous parents waiting.
Lead the way, I said, rolling my chair away from my desk. I followed Linda out of the room and we
set off to assure the Hollis parents once again that we were capable of taking care of their children.

***

Are you ready for this? Ben asked. He held open the door of Market Seafood and I stepped past him
into the entryway. A blonde hostess in a crisp white shirt and black tie held open the interior door. I took
Ben by the arm and gave him a determined smile.
Maybe hell be in a good mood, I suggested, trying to hide my nerves. Uncle Walt had made it no
secret that he disapproved of Ben, but for my sake, he usually stayed on his best behavior when we were
all together.
Good evening, the hostess greeted us. She ushered us through the door and grabbed two menus.
Hello, Ben replied. There will actually be three of us. I believe we have a reservation.
Kinkaid? she asked, a hint of a smile lighting her face.
Uncle Walts still sweet talking the ladies, I see.
I nodded and she returned the menus to the hostess station. Walt is already here. Just follow me.
She snaked her way across the dimly lit dining room and I spotted my uncle at a corner table. His eyes
fell on me and he rose with open arms. He wrapped me in a hug and kissed the side of my head.
Its so good to see you, Em. I hope traffic wasnt too bad?
I knew the question was a veiled reference to the fact that we were ten minutes late, but I kept my tone
light and patient. We got held up at school this afternoon and weve been running late ever since.
Ben pulled out my chair and Uncle Walt settled down across from me. A tall, bald waiter approached
us with a bottle of wine.
Your Riesling, Mr. Kinkaid, he announced. He pulled the cork and poured a splash into a long
stemmed wine glass. Uncle Walt swirled, sniffed, and sampled it before nodding back at the waiter with a
smile.
This is fantastic, Kevin, thank you.
Are you ready to place your order, or would you like a few more minutes to look at the menu? the
waiter asked.
Uncle Walt looked from me to Ben and back again. Do you know what you want?
We nodded our heads simultaneously. Market Seafood was my uncles favorite restaurant; we could
all recite the memory by heart. We placed our orders and Keven gave us a final nod before disappearing.
So how was your first week of school? Uncle Walt asked.
Hectic. I leaned back in my chair with a long sigh. Most of the kids in my class have older brothers
and sisters, so they understood the concept of school when they arrived Wednesday morning. But I had a
handful of kids who seemed terrified theyd never see their parents again. Most of them settled into our
routine by yesterday afternoon. But Im expecting a little regression when we show up again Monday
morning.
You have the patience of a saint, my uncle insisted. He took a sip of his wine and turned to Ben.
And how was your week? I imagine you have an easier time of it. Emily here spends seven and a half
hours a day trying to keep the kids still, and then they get to run loose for half an hour with you.
Ben isnt the recess monitor, Uncle Walt, I broke in, my voice firm. I explained to you that The Day
School puts a strong emphasis on physical fitness.
Walt held his hands up in mock defeat, a smile spreading across his tan face. Easy, Em. I was just
teasing. I know Bens job is important. I didnt mean any offense.
None taken, Ben insisted. Honestly, I love my job so much, it doesnt feel like a job.
It doesnt pay like one either, Walt muttered under his breath.
Ben took a long drink of his ice water and we both ignored my uncles comment.
Enough about us, I announced, changing the subject. Whats going on with you? How long are you
in town?
Before he could answer, Kevin arrived at our table with a platter of appetizers. He promised our
entrees would be out soon, checked our drinks, and moved on to the table beside us.
This looks delicious, Walt announced, filling his small plate with crab cakes, calamari, and spicy
shrimp cocktail. I studied him while he dunked a forkful of crab cake into remoulade sauce and savored
the first bite.
My uncle and I could have easily passed for father and daughter. We had the same high cheekbones,
blue eyes, and chestnut hair, although his was tinged with gray around the edges. I realized then that Walt
was tense about something. He was smiling, but his shoulders were taut and I had a feeling his mind was
somewhere else.
So how long are you in town? I asked again, filling my own plate with food.
Walt swallowed a shrimp and washed it down with another sip of wine.
 Actually, thats why I wanted to see you guys tonight. I have news.
Ben and I both set our forks down, giving Walt our full attention.
Well? I pressed as he sat there silently. Dont keep us in suspense.
Im retiring from the airline have retired, to be more precise.
What? I asked, sure Id heard him wrong. Uncle Walt loved his job; the sudden early retirement
didnt make any sense. Panic grew in my chest while I waited for him to continue.
Its his health. Hes been grounded. Its the only thing that makes sense.
Is everything okay, Walt? Ben pressed, his voice full of concern.
Everythings great, he assured us. In fact, they couldnt be better. I know this will come as a shock
to you, Emily, but Ive met someone. Her name is Claudia and shes a pediatrician here in Portland.
I stared at him for a moment, processing his words. Youre quitting your job for a woman?
Im leaving the airline for a lot of reasons, he replied, popping another shrimp into his mouth. I felt
Ben relax beside me, but I was more wound up than ever. Uncle Walt announcing he was in a serious
relationship was twice as shocking as his retirement announcement. I was too impatient to wait for him to
swallow and continue.
What are the other reasons? I demanded. When did this happen? Where did you meet her? Why am
I just hearing about all of this?
Uncle Walt took a sip of his wine and wiped his mouth with a crisp linen napkin.
Slow down, sweetheart. Claudia and I met about four months ago. I flew a nonstop to JFK, then took
the jumpseat on a flight back home for my weekend off. Claudia had been in the city presenting a paper.
We spent the whole flight talking. I think youll really like her.
I cant believe youre going to introduce me to a woman, I observed, my hunger finally outweighing
my shock. I cleaned my appetizer plate while Walt continued.
I can hardly believe it myself. But its happening. As for why I didnt tell you earlier, I wanted to
wait until I knew things were serious. Claudias amazing, but like I said, she isnt the only reason Im
leaving the airline. The constant traveling is starting to wear me out. Ive never liked spending so much
time away from you and I can finally afford to do something about it. I have savings, my pension, and Ive
taken a part-time job at a local charter company. Im thrilled about all of this, Em. I hope you are too.
I studied him for a moment and then smiled. If youre thrilled, Im thrilled. It will be nice to have you
around more often. And I cant wait to meet Claudia. Maybe we could all have dinner next weekend.
Ill check with her and see what fits in her schedule, he promised.
Ben scooted his chair away from the table and rose to his feet. Excuse me, restroom, he explained,
tossing his napkin on the table. He left and my uncle turned to me with a scowl.
Come on, I groaned. I just said if youre happy, Im happy. Cant you just do the same in return?
Absolutely not, Walt replied with a slight shake of his head. I know this guy has you snowed. But
he isnt who he wants you to think he is, Em. Hes a slick talking cad. Trust me, Im right. I can spot my
own kind from a mile away.
I was stunned into silence when he acknowledged his sordid romantic past. He gave me an amused
smile and an eye roll of his own.
Youre an adult now, Emily. I think we can speak openly about this. I think we should talk openly
about it. I know you know I liked to sew my wild oats, so to speak. But unlike Benny, I never pretended to
be someone Im not. If theres one thing I can say for myself, I never let a woman believe I wanted a
serious relationship. I flat out told them I didnt. But this guy hes a real piece of work, sweetheart.
I pushed my shoulders back and stared back at him defiantly. You dont know what youre talking
about. And youre making me angry. Ben is one of the good guys, Uncle Walt. Hes stable and wholesome,
and you should see him with the kids. In fact, now that youre going to be around more often, you should
come to the club and watch a few games. I know youre convinced that no man will ever be good enough
for me, but if youd just give Ben a chance
Im quite sure theres a man out there good enough for you, he corrected me. Im even more certain
that Ben isnt that man. I can see Im upsetting you, so Ill drop it. But only if you promise me something.
I raised an eyebrow. Whats that?
Let another school year pass before you make any life-altering decisions.
I narrowed my eyes and scowled back at him. If Ben asks me to marry him, Im going to say yes.
I get that. But
Here we are, Kevin sang, sidling up to our table with a large tray balanced on one arm. Sorry for
the wait, he continued, distributing the plates around the table. I stared down at my steamed mussels and
pasta, thankful for the interruption. I swirled linguini around my fork and felt a gentle, familiar hand on my
back.
Perfect timing, Ben said, sliding back into his seat. Im starving.
Is everything okay? You were gone awhile, I whispered while Walt was distracted by Kevin.
Im fine, he insisted. He spread his napkin across his lap and sprinkled salt on his swordfish.
Hes up to something. But it has to be something innocent. I know him better than Walt. Besides, if
he were a player, he wouldnt have stuck around for an entire year.
Kevin carried the tray back to the kitchen and Walt turned to Ben with a somewhat forced smile.
Emily invited me to come watch some of your games at the club. How many teams do you coach?
I coach one basketball, one football, and one baseball team, Ben explained. But I coordinate all
three programs.
Youre a busy man, Walt observed.
I like what I do, Ben replied with a casual shrug.
You know, I was quite the football player back in high school. Maybe I could come out and coach a
few games with you.
I could tell Ben was taken aback by the suggestion, but he handled it well.
Id enjoy that very much, Walt. Ill email you the teams schedule.
Bens phone vibrated and he pulled it from his pocket before slowly rising to his feet.
Speaking of the club, this is one of my team moms. If youll excuse me, Ill be right back.
Of course, Walt insisted with a dismissive wave.
Ben strode quickly out of the dining room and I turned to my uncle, my eyebrow cocked again.
Five minutes ago, you were practically begging me to get rid of him. Now youre volunteering to
coach pee wee football?
Yes. He lifted his glass and swirled the liquid. Im going to give him a chance because you asked
me to. And youre going to think long and hard about what I asked you to do. Deal?
 Deal, I agreed. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was convinced that once Walt
spent some one-on-one time with Ben, hed understand why I had no intentions of leaving him.

***

Thank you for suffering through that with me, I told Ben, kicking off my shoes. I sat down on his bed and
started pulling off my jewelry.
It wasnt that bad, he assured me. I learned not to take Walts jibes personally a long time ago.
Hes protective of you. I get it. Hell have to warm up to me sooner or later because Im not going
anywhere.
I laid my rings on the nightstand and started stripping out of my clothes. I had more than sleeping on
my mind, but Ben didnt seem to get the hint. He tossed me a clean t-shirt and stepped into the hallway.
Im going to make a drink. Do you want anything?
No, I called after him.
I tossed the t-shirt to the floor alongside my discarded clothes and wiggled between the sheets in
nothing but my white lace panties. A few minutes later, I heard the television spring to life and groaned,
feeling the spark of arousal doused. I leaned over the side of the bed and retrieved the t-shirt. I pulled it
over my head and made my way to the living room. Ben was stretched out on the couch with a scotch and
soda, his eyes fixed to a baseball game.
I thought we were going to bed, I reminded him with a pout.
I was just going to check the score. But its all tied up at the end of the sixth. Why dont you lay down
and watch it with me? he suggested.
I sighed and squeezed onto the couch beside him.
We cant fall asleep out here again, I warned. Last time, I had a crick in my neck for three days.
Shh, he said and nodded toward the TV.
If Linda could see me now, Id never hear the end of it. I think this is the definition of vanilla.
Ben propped his elbow on the arm of the couch and took a long drink of his scotch. He covered my
bare legs with a blanket and settled back down behind me. I waited until the commercial break to make
my move. I turned in his arms, pushing my hips into his.
I really do appreciate the way you handled yourself tonight. It reminded me why I love you. And it
made me want to show you just how much I love you.
I brushed my lips gently across Bens and stroked his face with a teasing finger.
Is that so? he mumbled, leaning into my touch.
I nodded and let my tongue dance into his mouth. I kissed him passionately, grinding my body into his.
But I felt no response below Bens waist. The baseball announcers voice filled the room again, and Ben
ended things as quickly as Id started them. He reached for his drink and I rolled over in defeat.
When did we stop having sex? This time last year, we couldnt take our hands off of each other. Is it
normal for the passion to fade so fast? Is this just part of the package when you finally find the person
youre supposed to be with? Is he just not attracted to me anymore?
I tried to tell myself I was overreacting. Ben and I were only having sex about once a week. But it
wasnt as if we never touched each other.
He just has a lower sex drive. All relationships are hot in the beginning. Its normal that were not
ripping each others clothes off anymore. But Id think Id at least get a rise out of him.
I laid beneath Bens arm until I heard his soft snores, my teeth grinding harder with each exhale. I
flipped off the television before waking him and dragging him to the bedroom.
I didnt see the score, he mumbled.
Youll see it in the morning, I promised.
We stumbled into the bedroom and collapsed onto the mattress. Ben reached for me with a sudden
urgency, pulling me roughly against his body.
This is what Im talking about.
I found his lips with mine and kissed him hungrily, pushing him against the headboard. I climbed into
his lap and pulled the t-shirt over my head, and he groped at my breasts with his mouth. I rocked against
him, determined to make him hard.
Let me kiss it, I whispered into his ear.
Ben let out a happy groan and unfastened his belt. I tugged down his slacks and boxers before diving
for his cock.
I took the head into my mouth, licking and teasing with everything I had. Despite my best efforts, he
remained limp in my hand.
Im sorry, Em, he finally groaned. I dont think this is going to work.
I crawled off of him and collapsed on the other pillow. Is something wrong? I whispered. Did I do
something, or not do something?
Nothings wrong, he assured me with a yawn. Im exhausted, thats all. The overtime Im putting in
at the club is draining me. I still find you incredibly sexy.
Youre just tired? I pressed.
Yes, baby. Im just tired and I have a lot on my mind. The scotch probably didnt help either. He
stroked my arm with his fingers. Look Em, I know weve fallen into a bit of a rut. I promise I realize that,
and I have every intention of doing something about it. But right now, Im just too tired.
I understand, I assured him and propped myself up on one elbow, planting another soft kiss on his
lips.
I think this is normal, I continued. Every couple goes through a sort of ebb and flow in the
bedroom. I love you. Thats all that matters.
He pushed my hair back from my face. I love you too, Emily. And I promise Ill kick things back into
flow just as soon as I adjust to my new schedule.
Ben rolled over onto his side and pulled my back into his chest. His scruffy stubble tickled my neck as
his breaths slowed and his snores started again.
This man loves me and together were going to build the life Ive always wanted. So what if we go
through some dry spells. At least were going through them together.
 CHAPTER 2

Thanks again for my special snack, Miss Kinkaid. Ill see you tomorrow. Alfie Hollis stood in the
doorway of my classroom, waving at me with a bright smile.
Unlike a lot of schools, The Day School hadnt yet imposed a ban on parents bringing treats to school
on their childrens birthdays and other special occasions. The parents were asked to keep their selections
allergy friendly, but they seemed to consider this as a suggestion, not a requirement. Id anticipated the
problem and stocked the bottom drawer of my desk with dried fruit and vegan, nut free cookies so Alfie
would never be left out.
Youre welcome, Alfie. Have a good night.
You too, Miss Kinkaid.
He darted into the hallway and I shut down my laptop. Id had a long, exhausting day complete with an
injury report after one student whacked another upside the head with a wooden train. The principal and I
were scheduled to meet with both sets of parents the following afternoon and Id given my entire class a
long talk about the importance of sharing. When the dismissal bell finally rang, all I wanted to do was go
home, change into my pajamas, and have a lazy night with Ben. I locked up my classroom and found him
in the school gymnasium shooting free throws.
Nice shot, I called out as the ball swooshed through the net. He turned to me with a charming smile.
Thanks, babe. How was your day? He dribbled the ball toward me and then tucked it under his arm
as he leaned down to kiss the top of my head.
My day was terrible. I leaned all my weight against him. Are you ready to go? I thought wed lay
around my place and maybe order dinner in.
I wish I could, baby. I have practice at the club tonight. And after, Im meeting with the volunteer
moms about the cheer program they want to start, remember?
Thats right, I sighed. I forgot all about that. Do you want to come to my place later?
I need to stay home tonight. The landlord is stopping by in the morning to look at the garbage
disposal. Im sorry, baby. I can tell youve had a rough day. Do you want me to cancel practice?
I shook my head. No. I wish you could hang out with me, but I dont want the kids to be
disappointed.
You could go to my place. Im not sure what time Ill be home. But we could have a little time
together.
Thats okay. I really feel like being home right now. Tomorrow night?
Its a date, he agreed. Go home, take a hot bath, and pamper yourself. Ill call you when I leave the
club.
I leaned in for a quick hug and then turned toward the door. Have a good practice, I called over my
shoulder.
Thanks, baby. Ill talk to you soon.
The sound of his basketball bouncing off of the court echoed down the hallway as I made my way out
of the building. I slid behind the wheel of my blue Prius, a graduation present from Uncle Walt, and drove
out of the King neighborhood and into a much older, more white collar Irvington area.
When my parents passed away, I was left with just shy of a quarter of a million dollars in life
insurance money. Half of it was safely in the bank, earning interest. Id spent the other half on a small
condo about twenty minutes away from the school. If Id gotten my way, Id have bought something closer
to work. But Walt insisted that I live in a safer area. He didnt believe the King neighborhood was as
revitalized as the locals claimed.
I pulled into my parking space and quickly retreated to my unit before any of my neighbors spotted me.
After the day Id had, I was in no mood to make forced, friendly small talk.
I changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt, pulled my hair on top of my head, and settled in on my soft
white sofa to binge on reality television. After three hours of watching spoiled socialites choose their
wedding gowns, I realized Id forgotten all about dinner. And the meal I was craving came from a diner
that didnt deliver.
Ill call it in but eat at the counter so I dont have to deal with the take-out trash.
I padded across the beige carpet in my socked feet and retrieved my phone from my purse. I called in
my order and was told it would be ready in fifteen minutes.
That doesnt give me time to change. Ill probably run into half of my parents if I leave the house
looking like this. Screw it. My job is to teach their children, not wow them with my fashion sense.
The Day School was technically a public school, so families werent charged tuition. But the schools
innovative teaching programs drew both the lower income families in King as well as the more affluent
families in my neighborhood. Some days, I felt like I couldnt turn around without tripping over someone
from the school. But I was starving and didnt have time to worry what theyd think of my sweats and
oversized t-shirt. I stuffed my feet into laceless sneakers, grabbed my purse, and set off for the diner.
I arrived ten minutes later and found the parking lot nearly empty. A bell chimed when I pushed open
the heavy glass door and the smells of bacon, coffee, and pie hit my nose. A short, curvy woman with
curly grey hair greeted me as I sat down at the counter.
What can I get for you, darlin?
I called in an order for Emily, I explained.
She looked at a little notepad. Chicken fry with mashed potatoes and salad?
Thats the one.
She turned to the order window, where a small bowl of ranch covered lettuce and tomatoes waited
atop a bucket of ice. She delivered it to me with a set of silverware rolled in a paper napkin.
Your steak will be up shortly. What can I get you to drink?
Ill have a Coke, easy on the ice, I replied, mixing the salad with my fork.
She filled a tall plastic cup and slid it across the counter. I took a long drink and shoveled lettuce into
my mouth with a saltine. The bell chimed again and a few moments later, the most gorgeous man Id ever
seen sat down two stools away from me. I felt my face flush hot and kept my eyes fixed on my bowl.
Back so soon, Ethan? the waitress asked, passing him a menu.
What can I say, Gladys. I dream about your apple pie. His voice was warm and deep, but I couldnt
bring myself to look at him.
Water with lemon? she asked, already filling his glass.
Yes, maam. And Ill have my usual.
You got it, she replied. She jotted a few words on a ticket, tore it off her pad, and hung it in the
window. Order up, Earl, she called into the kitchen. She turned back to my new dinner companion with
an almost star-struck grin.
I dont blame you, Gladys. This guy looks like a statue of a Greek god brought to life.
So how was practice? she asked. Think youll be ready next month?
I think so, he told her. Before he could say more, the bell chimed again and a group of a dozen
teenagers filled the diner. They spread out in four of the six booths and a few clustered around the
jukebox. My meal appeared in the window and Gladys delivered it before setting off to greet her new
customers. I stared down at my giant, gravy soaked plate and felt myself blush again.
Fantastic. Im sitting three feet away from Adonis, about to pig out in four-year-old sweatpants.
Ill eat fast and get out of here before I have to make eye contact with him.
Thats quite a steak youve got there, he commented, shattering my hope to get through my meal
unnoticed.
Im hungry, I explained awkwardly.
Hungry and lame.
Its nice to see a woman with an appetite, he replied, but I couldnt tell if he was teasing, serious, or
simply grossed out.
I finally looked up at him and my heart instantly raced.
Like me, Ethan was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of sweats. He had dark hair, hypnotic
hazel eyes, and I could tell by the fit of his shirt that his body was as chiseled as his chin and cheekbones.
Im Ethan McAlister, he said with a cocky, expectant grin.
Well, isnt he impressed by himself? Though I guess Id be a little cocky too, if I looked like that.
Nice to meet you, Ethan. Im Emily Kinkaid.
Its nice to meet you too. The expectation on his face turned to amusement and he spun on his stool
to face me. So tell me, Emily Kinkaid, how is it that a beautiful woman such as yourself is dining alone
tonight? His voice dripped with charm.
My boyfriend coaches a pee-wee football team at the Boys Club, and they have practice tonight.
And you didnt tag along? Not a sports fan, I take it?
Im a huge sports fan. I just dont like football.
He gave me an understanding nod and took a long drink of his water. Let me guess, you think its too
violent.
I swallowed a bite of my potatoes and chased it with a sip of my soda.
I think its too dangerous, I corrected him. For kids, at least. I dont mind watching it on television,
but when its one of your children on the field, its a completely different story.
His eyes widened with surprise. You have kids?
No, I replied with a laugh. Im sorry. I teach kindergarten. I have a bad habit of referring to every
kid in the school as mine.
 The shock changed to relief and Gladys reappeared behind the counter. A platter of pancakes, sausage,
and eggs appeared in the order window and she set it in front of Ethan before returning to the booths with
a pot of coffee.
Kindergarten, huh? You must have a lot of energy, he commented, covering his pancakes with syrup.
It ran out long before the final bell today, which is why I look like Ive been hit by a truck, I
explained with a light-hearted laugh.
If youre this beautiful when youre exhausted, Id love to see you on a good day, he countered. I
still couldnt tell if he was teasing or being serious, but I was surprised by how at ease I felt around the
handsome, charming stranger.
Hes like Linda. I bet hes never met a stranger. And Im sure he flirts like this with every woman he
comes across. But what the hell? Its harmless. I may as well enjoy it.
Im serious, he continued. Im new to the area. Id be incredibly grateful if youd show me around
sometime.
I shifted on my stool, suddenly nervous. I have a boyfriend, I told him again.
Which is why Im asking for a tour, not a date, he replied, completely undeterred. Come on, youd
be doing me a huge favor. He gave me the most adorable, pitiful puppy dog eyes and I had to turn away. I
knew if I stared at him much longer, Id agree to anything he wanted.
I really cant, I insisted. Even if its innocent, its a line Im not willing to cross.
So youre beautiful and loyal. Your boyfriend is a lucky man.
Thanks.
I stared down at my half eaten meal and knew I couldnt take another bite. I leaned over the counter
and fetched my own to-go box.
In a hurry? he asked.
I lifted a shoulder. Sort of. I filled the box and pulled a twenty from my wallet.
Gladys looks like shes going to have her hands full for a while. Will you make sure she gets this? I
asked, setting the bill on the counter.
Sure, he agreed. If youll give me your phone number.
I blushed and shook my head. Im sorry. I just cant.
I understand. But I cant stand the thought that I may never see you again.
I knew he was just flirting, but my pulse quickened and my heart felt like it might explode from my
chest with excitement. I slung my purse over my shoulder and met his eyes with a smile.
I guess if were supposed to meet again, we will, I teased.
His eyes smoldered and he dropped his voice an octave. I eat dinner here every Wednesday around
this time. If you decide were meant to run into each other again, you know where to find me.
Hes serious. Hes actually interested in me.
My smile softened and I dropped my tone to match the seriousness of his. Ill keep that in mind, I
promised.
Till next time, then, he offered with a grin.
Till next time.
I walked out of the diner, filled with emotions I didnt understand. I loved Ben, and I wanted to build
a life with him. But when Ethan asked for my number, I regretted not being able to give it to him. I took the
long way home, trying to sort out my feelings.
Im exhausted and my head isnt on straight. Ben and I havent had much time together since
school started. Thats why I got so caught up in Ethans flirting. I didnt cross any lines. But if theres
one thing Im sure of, I dont need to see Ethan McAlister ever again.

***

On the second Friday of the school year, I reached a milestone in my class. Not one single child cried
about missing their parents. I rewarded myself with a hot bath, followed by a night in bed with a bottle of
wine and a weeks worth of television. I turned my alarm off before I drifted off, determined to sleep in
Saturday morning. My friend Melissa had other ideas. She called bright and early at seven a.m.
This better be good, I mumbled into the phone.
Good morning, sunshine. Im sorry to wake you. I thought youd be up by now.
I pushed myself up against the headboard and reached for the bottle of water on my nightstand. My
mouth tasted like sour wine and a dull throb filled the back of my head.
Monday through Friday, I would be. On the weekends, I sleep, I reminded her.
Right, Ill try to remember that next time.
Its okay, I replied through a yawn. Whats going on?
Im about to go watch the Stallions practice. Im interviewing some of the players after, and I have an
extra press badge.
The Stallions were Portlands new professional football team. The city had been petitioning the
powers that be for years, and eighteen months ago, they finally gave their formal approval. The Stallions
were owned by Victor Montez, Oregons wealthiest citizen. Montez had spent his career building an
empire of casinos. Hed moved to Portland after selling out to Montgomery Enterprises, an even larger
chain of destination resorts. Rumor had it that hes a hot head and incredibly difficult to work with.
Sportscasters insisted he was exactly who youd want in charge of a startup team.
Youre going to the stadium?
Yes. Phillip was supposed to go, but his kid has the chickenpox. Hes never had it before, and the
last thing he wants to do is walk into practice like Typhoid Mary. Bill threw it to me, said it was my
chance to prove I could hold my own with the sports desk. I know its short notice, but I have an extra
press pass and I thought Ben might like to tag along and fanboy out while I get my interviews.
Aw, man, he would have loved that. But hes working at the club today.
Even better. You can come with me and we can gawk at the hot football players, she suggested and I
could almost hear her waggling her eyebrows.
I dont know. It sounds like fun. But I had such a long week. I was really looking forward to doing
nothing today.
I promise you wont have to do anything physically or mentally exerting, she pleased. Its going to
be a beautiful day. You dont have to do anything but sit in the stands and soak up the sunshine.
Okay, I finally agreed.
Great. Were supposed to be there at noon, so Ill pick you up at eleven.
Ill see you then. Thanks for inviting me, Mel.
 No problem. Ill see you soon.
I ended the call and let the phone fall to my bed. I shuffled to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and then
dove back between my sheets. I chased two Advil with the rest of my water and told myself I was just
going to close my eyes until the throbbing stopped. I woke up three and a half hours later.
Shit, shit, shit. Melissa will be here in thirty minutes and Im still in my pajamas.
I threw open my closet door and grabbed my go-to boyfriend jeans and a blue and grey raglan t-shirt. I
stuffed my feet into black Converse and trudged back to the bathroom to check my reflection. The extra
hours of sleep hadnt done anything to improve my bloodshot hangover eyes and my long hair hung limply
around my tan face.
Screw it. Ill just throw on a hat and a pair of sunglasses. Its not like Ill run into anyone I know.
But Ive got to stop making a habit of leaving the house like this.
I swiped a light layer of powder over my face and tied my hair into a ponytail at the nape of my neck.
From there, I moved on to the kitchen, brewed myself a cup of coffee, and rifled through my fridge for
something that would pass for breakfast. I settled on a yogurt, which I ate over my sink. My doorbell rang
just as I set my second cup of coffee to brew.
I opened the door and Melissa greeted me with a broad smile and a bag from the Eight Street Bakery.
Cinnamon chip scone, she explained, thrusting the bag into my hand. I thought you might need a
pick me up. You sounded exhausted when I talked to you this morning. Please tell me you were able to get
back to sleep. I felt like an ass for waking you.
I tossed the bag next to my purse on the coffee table and turned back toward the kitchen.
I just woke up about half an hour ago, I explained. Let me pour my coffee into a travel cup and Ill
be ready.
We have a little time, if you want to finish your makeup.
I didnt even get insulted at the hint. Im just going to throw on a hat and sunglasses. Theres no point
in doing my face when everyones eyes will be stuck to you, I insisted. You really do look fabulous.
Melissa held a hand to her flawless chocolate complexion and smiled back at me. Do you really
think so? I finally had a reason to use my on camera makeup my Mom gave me when I landed the job at
the station. I was a little worried Id gone overboard.
I think you look perfect. After today, the viewers will be insisting that you cover the sports desk. You
know as much, if not more, than the men and you look three times as good doing the commentary.
The motivation behind my comment was easing Melissas obvious nerves, but that didnt make the
words any less true. Melissa grew up in Portland as the only girl in a family of eight kids. She was also
the baby and spent her childhood cheering her seven older brothers on from the sidelines of their various
athletic events. Melissa paid attention and by the time she was twelve, she was offering her brothers
coaches pointers during practices.
And Melissa wasnt just smart. She was also drop dead gorgeous. Her skin was smooth and clear, the
color of coffee with just a hint of cream in it. She had dark, doe-like eyes, beautiful, perfectly straight
teeth, and the kind of body most people could only achieve with the help of a plastic surgeon: curvy and
alluring, without an ounce of extra fat.
Im ready when you are, I announced, stepping back into the living room with my coffee. I tossed
one of Bens club ball caps on my head and slung my purse over my shoulder. I held my coffee and scone
in one hand and locked the front door with the other.
 I cant believe Im finally getting some airtime, Melissa said, her words brimming with anxiety. We
buckled ourselves into her Subaru and she backed out of her parking space.
Im so proud of you, Mel. I really think this will be your big break. Just try to relax and be yourself
during the interviews. The rest will take care of itself.
I hope youre right, she said, navigating through the city. I need to think about something else.
Distract me. Whats been going on with you?
Same old, same old. Ive settled back into my school routine. And I think most of my kids have gotten
the swing of things. Aside from that, Ive just been spending time with Ben and hanging out with Uncle
Walt. Hes met a woman and retired, by the way.
Melissas eyes widened. She must be one hell of a woman.
I dont know. I havent met her yet. Were supposed to have dinner on Tuesday.
Do you think hell finally get married?
I dont know. If you asked me last week, Id have sworn hed stay a bachelor his entire life. But now,
Im not so sure. I guess time will tell.
I stared out the windshield as the stadium appeared in the distance. It really is an amazing building,
I observed.
I cant believe we get to be some of the first people to see the team on the field. My brothers are
going to shit when they find out about this.
Ben too, I agreed. But Im glad hes working and I get to be here on your big day.
Me too.
Melissa pulled into the stadiums parking lot and eased into a spot near the front entrance. There were
only a few dozen cars in the massive lot, and I knew most of them had to belong to the players. Melissa
killed the ignition and pulled two press passes from her glove compartment. She passed me one of the
stiff, laminated cards and I pulled the lanyard over my head.
Are you ready for this? I asked, my voice enthusiastic and supportive.
She took a deep breath and nodded. Im ready. My camera crew isnt here yet, but they can meet up
with us inside.
We climbed out of the car and made our way to the main entrance. We were greeted by an official
looking man wearing a headset. He took one look at our passes and directed us to the press seating near
the fifty-yard line.
After finding our seats, Melissa and I spent the next hour watching the players scrimmage on the field.
As I watched the game, I felt the strangest sense that I knew one of the quarterbacks.
Thats impossible. Ive never met anyone capable of playing professional football. Last nights
wine is messing with my head.
About fifteen minutes before the practice wound down, Melissas camera crew showed up and shot
some footage of the team in action. Id assumed the after practice interviews would take place on the field
and was shocked when Melissa pulled me toward the locker room.
I cant go in there, I insisted. There will be strange men showering, and changing, and God knows
what.
Oh come on, Emily. Dont be such a prude. Were all professionals and the players are expecting us.
No ones going to be naked. She pulled me into the room before I had a chance to make any more
objections.
 To my relief, all of the players were clothed from the waist down. Some still wore their pads and
jerseys, but most were lounging around bare chested. The sight was distracting, to say the least.
Larry Davis, the head coach of the Stallions, approached Melissa with a smile and an extended hand. I
shuffled behind her cameraman and did my best to blend into the wall.
Thank you so much for having me, Mr. Davis. I was hoping to ask you a few questions, and then
maybe interview a few members of the team, she explained.
He released her hand and gave her an indulgent grin. Let me guess. Youd like to have the first local
interview with our new star quarterback.
Id love to talk to everyone on the team, Melissa assured him. But, of course, if Mr. McAlister is
willing, Id love to speak with him too.
McAlister? Quarterback? No. It cant be.
Im willing to speak with you, a familiar voice boomed through the room and my face flushed hot as
I fought the urge to look toward the voice.
Thank you so much, Melissa answered, a note of gushing in her tone.
Dont thank me yet, Ethan warned. Ill talk to you now and Ill throw in a sit down after our first
home game on the condition that I can have a few moments alone with Emily. Just to talk, of course.
This isnt happening. Its the wine. Im home asleep in bed, and this is all just a terrible dream.
I looked up from the locker room floor; every eye was on me. Melissas mouth had fallen open in
shock while the rest of the team seemed amused by the exchange. I cleared my throat and finally met
Ethans charming, apologetic gaze.
Where would you like to talk? I asked him, forcing a smile that was brighter than I felt.
Why dont we step back out to the stadium? Melissa can find us there when shes wrapped up the
other interviews, he suggested.
I exhaled deeply. Lead the way.
Melissa mouthed a quick thank you and turned back to the coach. Ethan walked past his teammates and
led me back into the stadium. I was still recovering from my surprise at seeing him and was at a complete
loss for words. He didnt seem to mind the silence though. We sat down and stared at the field for a few
moments before he finally spoke.
You said if we were supposed to meet again, we would, he reminded me. So what do you call
this?
I dont know, I hesitated. I guess Id call it a coincidence.
I wanted to believe thats all it was, but I didnt. I loved Ben, I reminded myself. At the same time, I
felt the strangest pull toward Ethan. And when I looked at him, my heart soared with not only attraction
but an odd sense of familiarity. The way it would after seeing someone I loved after a lifetime apart. I
didnt understand my feelings, and that terrified me.
Id call it more than that, he argued. I think fate is trying to tell us something. Youre destined to
give me a tour of this city, Emily Kinkaid, he teased.
We both knew he wanted a lot more than a tour, though for the life of me, I couldnt understand why. I
was sitting in front of him looking my absolute worst for the second time in a week. He was a
professional athlete, surrounded by groupies and cheerleaders on a regular basis. Yet, he wanted me.
I still have a boyfriend, I reminded him.
 I still dont care, he insisted. Ive decided hes not good enough for you.
I let out a quick laugh. Oh yeah? And I assume you are?
He nodded. Yes. And before you shoot me down, let me plead my case. First off, I am incredibly
attentive. This boyfriend of yours seems to leave you on your own an awful lot.
Maybe Im an independent woman who likes her space, I suggested.
Ethan stared into my eyes, his face full of understanding. I can tell youre an independent woman. But
I think thats more out of necessity, not choice. Youve spent a lot of time alone in your life, havent you?
I nodded, amazed by how well he seemed to know me. How did you know?
Ive spent a lot of time alone, too. Its a pretty common story. My parents divorced when I was
eleven. Dad sent checks until I was eighteen, but he stopped showing up for his weekend visits when I
was in junior high. Mom married a pompous ass who I still cant stand, and I avoided them both as much
as possible.
That must have made for a lonely childhood.
He nodded. But lonely was better than pissed off and bitter. So whats your story? I shared mine.
My uncle raised me. He was a pilot, so he was away a lot. And we moved almost constantly, which
made it hard to make friends.
Why am I telling him this? I dont even know him.
Ethan cleared his throat and stared out at the field. I understand youre involved with someone,
Emily. I admire that you dont want to do anything to disrespect that. But I feel the strangest connection
with you. I hope youll consider being my friend, if nothing else.
I think I can do that, I agreed, knowing it was the last thing I should do. As long as you understand
that were just friends.
I promise I wont cross any lines. He held up a pinky and waited until I hooked mine with his. I let
it go quickly. So quickly, his smile widened. We probably dont have much time until Melissas ready for
me. Do you have a pen and paper?
Im a teacher, remember? I replied, digging through my purse. I pulled out a handful of pens,
crayons, and highlighters, along with a small spiral notepad I used to jot down lists of classroom supplies
and ideas for lesson plans. Ethan grabbed a black pen and took the notepad from my hand.
Im writing down my cell number, he explained. A lot of people would pay a lot of money for this,
so Im trusting you here. And Im putting the ball in your court, so to speak. Call or text whenever you
need a friend.
He closed the notebook and passed it back to me.
I will, I promised, opening the book again. I scribbled my number on a black page, my heart racing.
I knew I was flirting with fire. I tried to convince myself I had nothing but good intentions, that Ethan and I
would just be friends and Ben would be okay with it. But the longing growing within me said otherwise.
I dont like sports metaphors, I told him, ripping the page from the book. I passed him my number
with a smile. No balls, no courts. When you need a friend, you know how to reach me.
Ethan gave me a satisfied grin and tucked the paper in the waistband of his football pants. I was about
to ask him where hed lived before Portland but heard Melissas voice from behind.
Are you ready for me? she sang.
I turned and watched her descend the stadium steps, her cameraman trailing behind.
 Ethan and I both rose and I stepped onto the staircase. Melissa moved past me, to sit beside Ethan.
The cameraman continued two rows down and angled his lens up at their faces. I slid into a seat across
the aisle and listened to the interview with rapt attention. The handsome quarterback intrigued me, to say
the least, and I wanted to learn as much about him as possible.
Congratulations on your contract with the Stallions, Melissa began. What message would you like
to give your critics regarding their claims that nepotism played a role in your coming to Portland?
Nepotism? What is she talking about? I should really do a better job of keeping up with the local
news.
I was a few rows behind Ethan and couldnt see his face. I imagined him flashing his charming smile
at the camera as he answered with ease.
Id remind them that my record speaks for itself, he replied. Ive spent my career busting through
records. My salary here is well deserved and has nothing to do with the fact that Victor is my stepfather. It
was a happy coincidence that my contract with Dallas ran out around the same time the commission
granted Victor permission to form this fantastic team. Im honored to be a part of it.
Victor Montez is his stepfather? Holy shit thats more than a little intimidating. Ethan must have
had an eventful childhood.
You were sidelined by a fractured wrist last season. Are you back to a hundred percent? Melissa
continued. Has the injury affected your snap?
Im better than ever, he assured her.
You were in Dallas for six years. Was it difficult to leave your old team behind?
I will always look back fondly on the time I spent in Texas. I made some great friends there. But
nothing beats being home.
Melissa thanked him, paused for a few moments, then yelled Cut and rose to her feet. She passed
her microphone to the cameraman and extended her hand to Ethan.
Thank you so much for sitting down with me.
Youre welcome. I look forward to doing it again after our opening game. Ill make sure your camera
crew has prime placement that night. And Ill have tickets at the fifty-yard line messengered over to your
office. Unless, of course, youd prefer to be in a box.
Are you kidding me? she asked, her voice overflowing with excitement. I know a lot of people
probably prefer the luxury aspect of the boxes, but Im a girl who wants to be close to the action. Thank
you so much, Mr. McAlister.
They shuffled out of the aisle and walked up the staircase side by side. I stood and awkwardly waited
for them to reach me.
Its my pleasure, I hope, Ethan told her before flashing me another knee-weakening smile. I do
hope youll use the other ticket, Emily.
Ill have to check my schedule, I replied, dropping my eyes to the ground. I felt Melissas
inquisitive stare and knew Id have a lot of explaining to do during the ride home.
Ill make sure shes there, Melissa promised.
Ethan nodded and perched on the back of one of the stadium seats. Melissa looped her arm through
mine and we said a final goodbye before making our escape. When we finally reached the safety of her
car, she turned to me with an open mouthed grin.
This has to be one hell of a story. Start from the beginning.
 ***

Hey Em, do you have a blank copy of the field trip permission slip? My laptop crashed again and
Bentley Norris emptied a tub of finger paint onto my hard copies.
I looked up from my phone to see Linda standing in the doorway of my classroom. Loose strands of
hair fell from her braid and her eyes looked defeated and exhausted.
Long day? I asked, shuffling through a stack of papers on my desk. I found a blank permission slip
and held it out to her.
Long doesnt even begin to describe it, she said with a long-suffering sigh. She crossed the room,
took the paper from me, and perched on top of a nearby desk.
Last night
My phone chimed while she spoke, immediately drawing my attention. I read Ethans latest message
and felt a tell-tale blush spread across my cheeks.
Im assuming thats not your boyfriend, Linda said with a teasing tone.
I slid my phone into my lap and looked up at her amused face. No, it was a message from Ethan. But
its nothing, I swear. Hes really funny, but were just friends.
She raised a skeptical eyebrow. Does Ben know about your new friend?
I hesitated. Ben knew Id gone to the Stallions practice with Melissa, and I mentioned meeting a few
of the players. I hadnt given him any more details and after cursing his luck for not being able to join
Melissa himself, he hadnt mentioned it again.
I take that as a no, Linda announced. I could tell by her tone that she disapproved. I hope you know
what youre doing. Ive never been a fan of you and Ben together. But for your own sake, you shouldnt
start a new relationship until youve ended the old one. She dropped her voice as she offered the next
warning. Its bad karma, Emily.
Ethan and I dont have a relationship, I argued.
She folded her arms across her chest and stared back at me. Youve been glued to your phone for the
past two weeks. If thats not a relationship, what would you call it?
I felt my face flush hot again and diverted my eyes to my desk. I mindlessly shuffled paperwork and
tried to come up with an excuse for myself.
Fine, maybe Ive gotten a little carried away, I relented. Ive flirted a little. But its still
completely innocent. I swallowed hard. I love Ben. We have a future together. The attention from Ethan
is exciting and flattering, but it will pass. Hes a celebrity, for Christs sake. Its only a matter of time
before he hooks up with a cheerleader or a pop star and forgets all about me.
So youre just enjoying the attention while it lasts? she pressed. I could tell she still didnt believe
me.
Thats the plan, I agreed.
That wasnt entirely true. My rational mind understood that the flirty back and forth banter between
Ethan and me was temporary. But my heart was starting to get attached to his entertaining, often thoughtful
messages.
All right, Linda said. She let out another long sigh and rose to her feet. Just be careful, Emily.
Youre walking a thin line with this. I dont think you and Ben belong together. But if youre sure thats
what you want, you need to cut things off with the quarterback and delete all of his messages. Think of
how Ben would feel if he found out about this.
A heavy weight of anxiety gripped my heart. I knew she was right, and I felt terrible for keeping such
an enormous secret from Ben just not terrible enough to stop.
Im just trying to look out for you, Em, she called over her shoulder.
I know, I called back as she stepped through the door.
I pulled out my phone again and reread Ethans message.
Eating at the diner tonight. Care to join me?
I fired off a quick message turning down his offer and then turned my phone off completely.
Lindas right. I need to put a stop to this. Flirting with Ethan has been fun, but theres no future
there. I want someone whos happy with a quiet life, someone who comes home every night. Ben can
give that to me. Hell always be there when I need him.
I slid my phone into my purse, gathered the rest of my things, and set off for the parking lot. I needed to
assuage my guilt and decided that surprising Ben with his favorite meal was a great place to start. I drove
home, took a quick shower, and spent an hour curling my hair the way Ben liked it. I slipped into my
sexiest pair of skinny jeans, pulled on a deep V-neck t-shirt, and brushed on a light layer of makeup before
leaving for the market.
Ben was working at the Boys Club until seven; I knew he would be tired and wanted everything to be
perfect for him when he got home. I hurried through the market, gathering fresh produce, thick cut ribeye
steaks, and two different types of red wine. As a last minute impulse, I tossed an already made
cheesecake into the cart and proceeded to the register. A few minutes and forty dollars later, I loaded my
bags into the back of my car and made my way to Bens place.
Ben lived in a large, generic looking apartment complex close to The Day School. With first-come,
first-served parking, I was rarely able to park anywhere close. But that night, I got lucky and found an
empty spot just steps away from his front door. I found my key to the apartment on my ring, loaded my
arms with grocery bags, and decided to make a second trip to carry in the wine.
I unlocked the front door, flipped on the lights, and continued on to Bens small galley kitchen. I set the
bags down on the countertop and heard a soft, muffled noise from the bedroom.
What the hell? He was supposed to be at practice until seven. I hope he isnt sick.
Baby? I called out, padding down the hallway.
I heard a loud thud, followed by silence.
What the fuck?
I took hold of the doorknob, but it refused to turn. A blend of confusion, fear, and rage grew in my
chest and I pounded on the door.
Ben, are you okay? Why is the door locked? Are you
The door opened and my worst fears were realized. Ben stood before me wearing nothing but a guilty
scowl. My eyes moved from him to the redhead, half covered by the blankets. She looked at me with an
evil, triumphant grin and leaned back on a pillow.
Emily, Im so sorry. This isnt how I wanted you to find out, he stammered.
So you did plan for me to find out, I countered, my voice flat. I was in too much shock to feel
anything and reached for the wall for support.
No I mean, yes. I mean I think weve both known this was coming. We fit on paper, Em. But the
spark just isnt there.
How long has this been going on? I pressed, the weight of the moment starting to sink in. Tears stung
my eyes and I bit the corner of my mouth, determined to hold myself together to whatever degree possible.
Ben and I
I didnt ask you, I snapped, turning back to the redhead. I gritted my teeth when she smirked again,
lifting her nose into the air. I spun on my heel and stormed back to the kitchen. I started pulling things out
of the grocery bags and slamming them on the counter. Ben appeared a few moments later wearing a pair
of boxers. He seemed alarmed by my quick, violent movements and stayed a few feet away from me.
What are you doing? he asked, his tone cautious.
I thought it would be nice to have dinner together, I explained, slamming a jar of artichoke hearts
onto the counter. But as I no longer have an appetite, I thought Id just leave this here for you and your
whore.
Emily, Im so sorry. I know youre upset. But Becky isnt a
Dont you dare defend her, I growled. Dont defend yourself either. My uncle was right about you.
Youre nothing but a lying, cheating bastard. I recognize your precious Becky. Its bad enough that youre
having an affair. But did you really have to screw one of the football moms? Does her husband know what
the two of you have been up to?
Becky and Sean separated eight months ago. Their divorce is supposed to be finalized next week. I
know youre hurt, Emily. As hard as it may be to believe, thats the last thing I ever wanted to do. If I
knew you were planning to surprise me tonight
I turned to him, my hands on my hips. Rage was winning out over all of my other emotions, and it took
every ounce of strength I had not to knee Ben in the balls.
What? I spat. If youd known I was coming, you would have screwed your MILF somewhere
else?
He sighed and looked down to the worn tile floor. I I Im sorry. I dont know what else to say.
I couldnt be in the apartment another minute. I slung my purse over my shoulder and pushed past Ben,
storming toward the front door.
You dont have to say anything. In fact, if I never hear your voice again, Ill die happy. I paused long
enough to pull his key off my ring, tossed it over my shoulder, and slammed the door behind me.
I dove into my car and peeled out of the parking lot, trying to outrace my heartache. I failed and pulled
over at a home goods store. Killing the engine, I let my tears overtake me. I mourned the loss of the future
Id planned so carefully and tried to figure out where everything had gone wrong. How long had Ben been
sleeping with Becky? Was she the first, or just the latest in a string of his conquests? I knew I was
probably better off not learning the answers.
I cried until my eyes ran dry, then spent another few minutes composing myself. I didnt know what to
do or where to turn. I knew Uncle Walt would be sympathetic, but I wasnt up for listening to him rail
against Ben. I also couldnt bear the thought of his inevitable I told you so expression. I eyed the two
bottles of wine in my passenger seat and decided the occasion definitely called for some drinking. I
pulled out of the lot and turned toward home. Somehow, I ended up at the diner instead.
 CHAPTER 3

Ethans eyes lit up when I pushed through the diner door. His excitement immediately turned to concern
and I realized I must have looked like an absolute mess. He jumped off his stool and rushed over to greet
me.
Emily, I wasnt expecting you. Are you okay? he asked, draping an arm over my shoulder. He led
me to the counter and I sank down on the stool beside him with a nod.
Yes no. I dont know, I replied, propping my elbows on the cool linoleum.
He signaled the waitress, who appeared with a steaming mug of coffee. Would you like something to
eat, darlin? she asked.
I shook my head and wrapped my hands around the warm, comforting mug. No, thank you.
She gave me a sympathetic nod and cleared Ethans empty plates. He took a sip of his water and
turned to me, his eyes searching mine for some sign of what happened.
Youre obviously upset, he said, his voice barely a whisper. I assume you came to find me because
you need a friend?
I gave him a wordless nod.
Do you want to talk here? Or would you like to go somewhere more private?
Private, I answered without thinking.
He pulled out his wallet, dropped a twenty on the counter, and rose to his feet, offering me his arm. I
took it and a strange, comforting warmth spread through my body. When Id arrived at the diner, I felt like
my life was over. But when Ethan touched me, I knew everything was going to be okay.
We stepped out into the parking lot and Ethan paused.
My place or yours? he asked. Or if youre not comfortable with either of those, I have a master key
to the stadium.
Your place is good. I wasnt ready to be at my apartment, surrounded by things that reminded me of
Ben. And I really didnt feel like running into anyone at the stadium.
No offense, but you dont seem like youre in any shape to drive. I dont want you to feel stuck at my
place. How about I drive your car now and you can take me back to mine later, when you feel better?
That works for me, I agreed, handing over my keys. He opened my door and I unlocked his as he
circled the car. He slid the drivers seat all the way back before wiggling in behind the steering wheel.
He drove in silence for a few minutes before placing a gentle hand on my knee.
Is it safe to assume youre no longer taken? he asked.
Is it that obvious? I countered with a sad snort.
No, he assured me. You still look beautiful. Distracted, maybe. But I doubt anyone at the diner
noticed. Do you want to tell me what happened?
I lifted one of the wine bottles Id moved to the floorboard. Not until I have a little of this in me.
I understand.
He navigated through Irvington, pulling up to a large iron gate only blocks away from my apartment.
He punched a few keys on the code box and the gate swung inward.
You have a beautiful house, I observed, staring at the Tudor mansion in front of us.
Thank you. Youll have to excuse the dcor. I just moved in a few months ago and Ive been too busy
to really put my mark on the place.
I promise I wont judge, I assured him.
He pulled up to the large, solid wood door and killed the engine. He passed me my keys and took the
wine before climbing out of the car. I smiled as he moved the seat back into position for me before
shutting the door.
How thoughtful
I followed him into the house and immediately understood why hed warned me about the interior.
While the outside of the home looked straight out of Medieval England, the inside looked like it had been
abandoned sometime in the nineteen seventies. Velvet wallpaper in various shades of gold and green
adorned the walls, continuing from the foyer into the living room. Ethans modern leather furniture looked
out of place in the space, but the house had tons of potential.
I have a crew coming next week to do something about these walls, he explained, wrinkling his
nose at them. He led me to the large French doors on the far side of the room, which opened to an
expansive backyard. The covered veranda ran the length of the Olympic-sized swimming pool in front of
it.
This is beautiful. How much space do you have?
About an acre, total, he replied, setting the wine down on a teak patio table. He stepped behind the
outdoor bar and returned with two glasses and a corkscrew. He opened the first bottle, filled the glasses,
and settled into the chair beside me. I finished my wine in one long gulp and waited patiently while he
poured my second round.
That bad, huh? he asked.
I nodded and stared out at the gleaming pool. I went to Bens apartment. We havent had much time
together since school started and I thought it would be nice to surprise him with his favorite dinner.
Instead, the surprise was on me.
I took another sip of my wine while Ethan let out a low whistle.
You caught him in the act?
I nodded. Yep. Ive been beating myself up for weeks for not telling him about our friendship. And
all the while, hes been screwing a cougar divorcee.
Ethan was quiet for a moment and then cleared his throat. You seem to be handling it okay. I mean
youre obviously upset. But you dont seem broken.
I dont break, I replied, my voice flat.
Is that so? he pressed.
I bawled my eyes out for about half an hour after. Im pissed. Im devastated, actually. I honestly
thought Ben and I were forever. I thought he was the predictable, stable man Id always dreamed of
finding. Obviously, I was wrong.
Ethan studied me for a moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was low.
I understand why you crave stability. Everyone does. But why in the world would a fascinating,
spirited woman such as yourself seek out predictability?
I let out an amused huff and reached for my wine. Im not sure Id use those words to describe me.
Ethan took my hand and met my eyes, his gaze deep and serious.
Emily, I understand what Im about to say may come across as strange. But when I look at you, I feel
like Im staring straight into your soul. I can see the passion, the fire behind your eyes. I can tell youre
strong and determined, that youve overcome unimaginable pain and come out better on the other side.
What I dont understand is why youre so determined to settle for less than you deserve.
I stared back at him, utterly speechless. I didnt find Ethans words strange at all. I knew exactly what
he was talking about because I felt the same way when I looked at him. There was an exciting, familiar
quality to the way he looked at me and with each moment that passed, I felt drawn further and further in.
Coming here was a mistake. Im too emotional to think clearly. This is all way too much, way too
soon.
Pulse racing, I gripped the arms of my chair and started to rise. Ethan slid his chair a few feet away
from me and held up his hands.
Im sorry. Like I said, I know it sounds strange. And I know this isnt the time to talk about my
feelings. Please dont leave, Emily. You came to the diner tonight because you needed a friend. Let me be
that for you.
I relaxed back into my chair and reached for my wine. I shouldnt be driving, anyway.
Exactly, he agreed. Just try to relax. We can talk about whatever youd like. And if you want to kill
both of these bottles, youre more than welcome to crash in one of the spare rooms.
Damn it, hes right. If I dont stop drinking now, Ill never be able to get myself home. Fuck it. My
relationship just imploded. I deserve some alcohol.
I have assembly duty at seven-thirty in the morning. If I crash here, youll have to get up super early
for me to take you back to your car, I warned.
Im fine with that, he told me with a grin. He topped off my glass and I stared down silently at the
wine. It had just dawned on me that I had a little over twelve hours before I had to face Ben again. I
wasnt looking forward to the reunion.
Penny for your thoughts? Ethan pressed, his voice lower, more sympathetic.
I crinkled my nose, frowned, and met his eyes. I was thinking about getting a substitute for
tomorrow, I confessed.
Youre not ready to see him?
I shook my head. Part of me feels like a coward. Sub days are hard on everyone and its completely
unprofessional to let my personal life affect my students. But at the same time, when I think of seeing
Ben
Emily, if you think youll break down when you see Ben, its in everyones best interest for you to
stay home, he insisted.
Ethan held my gaze, his patient face wrinkled with concern.
I gave him a guilty, devilish grin and admitted the real reason I didnt want to see Ben. Im not
worried about breaking down in tears. Im afraid Ill go into a blind rage and beat the shit out of him in
front of everyone.
Ethans face relaxed and he let out an amused laugh. Well, that settles it. Youre definitely taking a
sick day tomorrow. Why dont you call and make the arrangements while I go scare up something from the
kitchen? If youre going to keep drinking, I insist that you eat something.
Deal, I agreed, completely unfazed by the fact that he was basically bossing me around. It felt good
to be taken care of for once. I fetched my phone from my purse, propped my feet up on the opposite chair,
and hit Lindas speed dial.
Hey, Em. Whats up?
Ive had a terrible night, Linda, I confessed. When you left my room this afternoon, I started to feel
guilty about hiding Ethan from Ben. I decided to surprise him with dinner at his place. He was supposed
to be at the club until seven. But when I got to the apartment, he was in bed with Becky Childers.
That rat bastard, Linda gasped, then growled. Say no more. Ill line up your sub and go over the
lesson plans with her in the morning. Just let me know what you want me to tell everyone. I assume youre
not officially calling in heartbroken?
No, officially Im sick. Im sure the truth will get around soon enough, but I dont want to be the one
who lets this cat out of the bag. Im going to email Principal Matthews and tell him Im coming down with
the stomach flu. With the number of sick kids weve had this week, he wont think twice about it.
Got it. Thatll be my story if anyone asks. Though I have a few other words in mind for Ben. Im so
sorry, Emily. Are you okay? If you need to talk, youre more than welcome to come hang out with Henry
and me.
Thats okay. I have someone to talk to, I said with a hint of mischief in my voice.
Emily where are you? The tone of her voice told me she already had a pretty good idea.
Im at Ethans.
Well, good for you, she said, surprising me. Enjoy yourself. I expect a full report as soon as I get
home from school tomorrow. Periodic text updates between now and then would be much appreciated,
she teased.
Were just talking. Ive only been single for a few hours, I reminded her.
Sure, if you say so.
Ha, ha. I need to let you go. I still need to shoot an email to Matthews and Ethan will be back any
second with my dinner.
Try to enjoy yourself tonight, Em. You deserve it. Ill talk to you tomorrow.
Bye.
I ended the call and typed a short email to the principal. I told him my stomach didnt feel well, which
technically wasnt a lie, and assured him that Linda was handling all of the arrangements. Ethan stepped
outside with an enormous platter of barbecue just as I was returning my phone to my purse.
Everything settled? He sat the platter on the table and moved behind the bar to fetch a roll of paper
towels.
Yes. Linda, the other kindergarten teacher, is handling everything for me.
Did you tell her whats really going on?
I nodded and reached for a sauce-drenched rib. She would have found out eventually. But she wont
run her mouth to the rest of the school.
I picked it up by the bone and the meat fell back to the plate. Ethan picked up a dripping handful,
tossed it into his mouth, then passed me a paper towel before tearing one off for himself.
Do you want to keep talking about it? he continued after chasing his bite with a gulp of wine.
I shook my head. Id like to talk about anything but, actually.
Im glad to hear you say that, he replied with a grin, sending my heart into another happy race. Im
interested in so much more than your relationship with your ex, he continued. I want to know everything
there is to know about you. What inspired you to go into teaching?
I reached for my wine and Ethan shook his head, his eyes darting to the ribs.
Youve got to get something in your stomach, Emily. Trust me, youll feel much better tomorrow if
you eat something.
There was no point in arguing. I knew he was right. I took a bite of smoky, tangy meat, and then
answered Ethans question as I stripped three more bones.
When I started high school, a guidance counselor explained that Id need extracurricular activities
for my college applications. We were never in one place long enough for me to join any teams or clubs.
But every school I went to had a shortage of tutors. Id always done really well in school, and the job was
a natural fit.
I ate another bite of the ribs and wiped my hands on the paper towel.
These are delicious. This is quite the meal for something you scared up in the kitchen.
You lucked out. He licked sauce from his thumb and my stomach twisted. I forgot these were in the
fridge. So you became a teacher because you enjoyed tutoring so much? Somehow, I feel like theres more
to it than that.
I swallowed another mouthful and tore off another paper towel to wipe my mouth. You got me, I
agreed with a sigh. Growing up with my uncle was exciting and, for the most part, I loved my childhood.
But it made me tired, Ethan. Tired of uprooting, tired of being alone. The school gives me a foundation,
somewhere I can belong. And I get to contribute to the foundations of a bunch of precious tiny people, I
added with a genuine smile.
So youre a homebody? You dont like to travel? he pressed, his eyebrows drawing together in
concern.
I dont like to travel. See, thats all the more reason we should just be friends, I teased.
I dropped another bite of barbecue into my mouth and awkwardly swallowed while he studied me. I
decided to change the subject.
So what made you decide to play football? I dont mean to be indelicate, but do you really even have
to work?
Ethan frowned. You mean couldnt I just live off of my stepfathers money?
I know that sounds tacky, I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat again. But yeah, I guess thats what I
mean.
Dont worry. I get that a lot, he confided. I could live off of Victors money if I wanted to. He
certainly has enough of it. But what kind of man would that make me? Im good at what I do, Emily. Im
good at everything I do. If I didnt play football, if I didnt take advantage of my talents, everything I am
would be wasted. Does that make any sense?
I nodded and tried to stifle a yawn. The wine and the emotions of the day were catching up with me
and my eyelids grew heavy. Ethan noticed.
Youre exhausted. He gathered the discarded paper towels and tossed them into the bar side trash
can. My heart thumped when he reached for my hand.
Come on. Ill get you some sweats and show you to the guest room.
Ethan led me through the house, stopping at the room at the end of the west wing. He pushed open the
door but stayed in the hallway.
If you feel like washing up, the guest suite has its own bath. My room is right here, he added. He
took a few steps backward and opened a door on the opposite wall. My sweats will probably swallow
you, but theyll be more comfortable than your jeans.
I followed him into the room and perched on the foot of his bed. As Id expected, Ethans room was
meticulously organized. He opened a dresser drawer and retrieved a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that
had been cut off at the knees.
These are just ratty old practice pants, he explained. But they wont drag on the ground.
Works for me. I took the clothes from his hands, resisting the urge to hold them to my chest. Half of
me wanted to pull him down beside me on the bed. The other half knew that was the last thing I should be
thinking about. I decided to play it safe and rose to my feet.
Im glad you found me tonight, Emily, Ethan offered as I walked toward the door. I paused and
looked over my shoulder.
Im glad I did too, Ethan. Thanks for listening to me.
Anytime.

***

Ethan tucked me into his guest bed and I spent the next hour trying to get to sleep. My body was exhausted,
but my mind was racing. Bens betrayal stung, but it wasnt what was keeping me awake. My proximity to
Ethan was what had me reeling and I fought the urge to leave my bed for his.
I cant jump from one man to another. Ethans charming, and he really does seem to be interested in
me. But I dont know him yet. And I cant kick off my newly single status with a one-night stand can
I?
I tossed beneath the blankets, trying to get comfortable enough to drift off to sleep. But my mind kept
returning to the last night Id tried to be intimate with Ben. It dawned on me that I didnt actually
remember the last time Id had sex.
Okay, so Im horny. But Ethan isnt the man to scratch that itch with. If I jump into bed with him
too soon, hell never respect me. Ill ruin any chance of having a real relationship with him.
That thought made me pause.
Do I want a real relationship with him? I dont even know right now. Which is precisely why I need
to stay put. Hes probably asleep by now, anyway.
About that time, I heard Ethans bedroom door creak open. I held my breath, hoping he was on his way
to me. But after a few long, tense seconds, I realized that was just wishful thinking. A few minutes later, I
heard his door close again.
Screw it. If I stay here, Im going to be up all night fantasizing about what might have happened.
Ill go cuddle with him and see what happens from there.
 My heart in my throat, I kicked off the blankets and padded barefoot across the thick shag carpet. I
reached Ethans door and knocked softly on the thick wood.
Come in, he called out, his voice muffled through the wall.
I pushed the door open and slipped into the room. I lingered just inside, suddenly nervous that Ethan
didnt want my company. He pushed himself up against the headboard and flipped on his bedside lamp.
His bare, well-defined chest drew my eyes and made it difficult for me to talk.
Cant sleep? he asked, his voice sympathetic and understanding.
I shook my head. No. Im sorry, I dont know what Im doing here.
Its okay, Emily, he assured me. He pulled down the blankets beside him and patted the mattress.
If youre not in the mood to be alone, youre welcome to sleep in here with me. I promise Ill be a
gentleman.
Thanks, I replied, unsure if I was happy or upset with his promise but climbed into the bed and
snuggled under the blankets. Ethan left the lamp on and curled his body around mine.
Is this okay? he whispered, his mouth just inches from my neck.
This is perfect. And it was.
We laid in silence for a few minutes as I listened to the steady in and out of Ethans breathing. It
slowed, becoming deeper and I knew he was ready for sleep. I was anything but. I raised a hand to the
arm he had draped over me and started tracing light, teasing circles on his smooth skin.
Ethan let out a soft, happy moan and moved into my touch. I turned in his arms and gave him a bold,
hard kiss on the mouth. He flinched in surprise, but then kissed me back. He pushed one hand beneath my
t-shirt and gripped my side roughly before stopping himself and rolling away.
Im sorry, he whispered. I know youre not ready. I got a little carried away.
I rolled closer to him and kissed his shoulder. I think I started this, I told him, kissing a trail to his
neck.
Oh, Emily, he groaned as my lips found his earlobe. His tone fluctuated between passion and
frustration, and he stopped me just as I was about to climb into his lap.
Please dont take this the wrong way, he pleaded. I want you. Of course I want you. But I want all
of you. And right now, youre emotional and a little drunk.
Im not at all drunk, I corrected him with a pout. Im sorry. I thought you wanted this as much as I
do. Ill go back to the other room.
Ethan grabbed me and pulled me back into his arms. I dont want you to go anywhere, he confessed.
And believe me, I wish I could rip your clothes off right now. But Im just not sure this is the right time.
Like I said, I want all of you. When we make love and we will, Emily, I want it to be about you and me,
nothing more. And right now, I know what happened with Ben is motivating most of your decisions.
Youre wrong, I argued. I mean, Bens popped into my head a few times. But not in a I wish I had
him or a I want to get back at him way. My only thought about Ben is that I should have left him months
ago. If I had, I would have been free to give you my number that first night we met. I wanted to, you
know.
I laid my head on Ethans shoulder and he stroked my back.
You did? His tone was one of happy disbelief.
I nodded against his chest. I did. I resented the fact that I had a boyfriend, that I wasnt free to be with
you. But Im here now.
I kissed Ethans neck and he turned his face, his mouth finding mine. His hands slid up and down my
body, caressing me as our tongues danced together. Desire ignited, burning between my legs and I needed
to be closer. As I climbed on top of him, he gripped me roughly by the hips and pulled his face away from
mine, staring up at me with lust and infatuation.
Youre here now, he agreed. And I want you, Emily. Ive wanted you since the first moment I saw
you. But if were going to do this, I need to know youre in it for the long haul. Im not looking for casual
sex, Em. Not with you. So if you need more time, I understand. I can be patient.
I held his face in my hands and clenched my legs around his waist. Youre not the only one whos
wanted this since the night we met. Ive never felt like this before. And Im more than ready to figure out
what it means.
Ethan gave me a devilish smile and flipped me onto my back, hovering above me with his weight on
his hands.
Im going to make you feel better than youve ever felt in your life, he promised.
I smiled back at him and raised my arms over my head. He pulled off the t-shirt, taking in the sight of
me before diving for my breasts. He teased one nipple between his fingers, the other between his lips, and
I felt myself gush wet with anticipation. I pushed the baggy sweatpants to my thighs, kicking them the rest
of the way off as Ethan slid his lips up my neck. He nibbled my earlobe and pushed one hand under my
black lace panties.
Oh God, I cried out as he pushed a single finger inside me.
Youre so wet, he said into my ear.
I was too overwhelmed with pleasure to respond with anything more than a groan. I wrapped an arm
around Ethans neck, anchoring myself to him as I writhed beneath his touch. He pulled free of my grasp,
lowering his head to replace his fingers with his tongue.
Oh Ethan, I gasped.
Just give over to it, he whispered, his hot breath tickling my clit. Just enjoy what youre feeling.
He buried his tongue in me again and I let my eyes fall shut. With each movement of his tongue, Ethan
pushed me closer to the edge until I finally spasmed with release. He lapped my juices as I came down
from my orgasm, gentling me before moving up my body and reaching to retrieve a condom from the
bedside table.
Not so fast, I insisted. I sat up and pushed Ethan onto his back, his head pointing at the footboard. I
straddled his legs and reached for the bulge beneath his shorts. He relaxed against the mattress and let out
a soft moan as I stroked him through the silky fabric.
Does that feel good? I asked, tightening my hand around his cock.
Ethan let out a sharp gasp and nodded. I slipped my free hand up the leg of his shorts, surprising him
with my bare touch.
What about that? I teased.
Ethan nodded again and I released him just long enough to tug the shorts down his legs. His long, thick
cock stood at perfect attention, begging to be touched.
My God, hes gigantic. This is going to be fun.
I gripped the base of his shaft with one hand and lowered my lips to the head, never breaking eye
contact with Ethan. He gathered my hair in one hand, holding it out of his view as I licked up his shaft,
then took most of him in my mouth. When I cupped his balls, he groaned but pushed me away.
I dont want to come yet, he explained, his voice coming out in broken heaves. Oh God, Emily,
youre so amazing.
He palmed the back of my head with one hand and pulled my lips to his once more. He rolled me onto
my back and used his tongue to blaze a trail from my chin to my clit. He licked me twice with long, firm
strokes, before turning his attention back to the nightstand. He pulled a condom from the top drawer,
opened it with his teeth, and stroked my wet, waiting tunnel with one hand while he rolled the condom
down his shaft with the other.
I want you, Ethan, I moaned beneath him.
He moved in front of me with his weight on his knees and took me roughly by the hips, lifting my ass
off the bed.
Im yours, he said, thrusting into me with one long, swift motion. He held still, waiting for me to
stretch and adjust to his girth.
Are you okay? he whispered, slowly rotating his hips.
Im perfect. I couldnt say anything more; the words simply wouldnt come.
I folded my legs around Ethans body and rocked my hips up and down while his moved back and
forth. His cock stirred within me, churning my passion to new heights. I moved quicker, more forcefully,
and reached for Ethans neck. I pulled him downward and he let my legs drop to the mattress as he shifted
his weight to his arms and drove into me harder.
You feel so amazing, he whispered into my ear. I sucked his lobe and ran my long nails lightly down
his back. I was overcome with desperate, animalistic desire. It was unlike anything Id ever felt before
and I turned myself over to it, lost in the passion of the moment.
Oh God, Ethan moaned again.
Yeah? I tightened my pussy around him and every throb of his cock sent waves of pleasure through
my body. I dug my nails into his back and met him thrust for thrust.
Im going to come, he warned through gasping breaths.
Come with me, baby, I cried out, already in the throes of my release.
Ethan rose to his knees again, pulling my hips into his body as he thrust forward. I felt myself gush
around his cock and he let out one final gasp as his cock trembled and exploded inside me. Ethan
immediately pulled out, gripping the condom and then pulling it off and tossing it into the wastebasket by
the nightstand. He took me in his arms and pulled me to the pillows. We snuggled in together, holding each
other and reveling in the moment.
That was amazing, I told him, a happy sigh lingering on my lips.
Amazing doesnt cover it, he corrected me. He planted a soft kiss on my neck. This is just the
beginning, Emily, he promised.

***

I woke up early the next morning to the sound of Ethans blaring clock radio. I slapped the top of it until
my hand found the snooze button and instinctively rolled to his side of the bed. The sheets were empty and
cold. I sat up and found a note, a bathrobe, and a single long-stemmed red rose on the foot of the mattress.

In my home gym, fourth door on the right down the east hallway.
 Breakfast is waiting on the veranda. Join me when youre finished.

I kicked off the blankets, pulled on my robe, and padded barefoot down the hallway. The house looked
even worse with sunlight trickling through the windows and reflecting off the gaudy walls. But I
understood why Ethan bought it. The original moldings and architecture were stunning and I couldnt wait
to see how Ethan restored it.
I found the veranda, where I was reminded Ethan was a health conscious athlete. I found chia seed
pudding, fresh fruit, and a coffee decanter waiting on the table. I ate the pudding in four huge spoonfuls,
tossed a slice of mango in my mouth, and carried my coffee toward the gym. I found Ethan running on a
treadmill.
He wore earbuds and was wrapped up in a roundtable discussion on the finance channel. I didnt want
to startle him, so I leaned against the wall and watched him work out. His body was so firm and defined
that every muscle looked like it had been hand chiseled from marble. His bare skin glistened with sweat
and my mind flashed back to the night before. When Ethan realized I was there, he slowed to a stop. He
toweled off as he crossed the room.
Good morning, he greeted me with a kiss on my forehead. Did you sleep well? He stayed a safe
distance away from me, careful not to cover me in his sweat.
I slept great. I was a little surprised to wake up alone. What time do you start working out?
I usually sleep a little later, but I wanted to have a few hours to spend with you before I have to go to
practice. I scheduled a couples massage at nine, and then were meeting with my decorator.
Hold on couples massage? Decorator?
That sounds great, I replied slowly.
Ethan could tell my enthusiasm was forced. Whats wrong, sweetheart?
Sweetheart?
Nothings wrong. I looked around the room, searching for words. Its just well, isnt it a little
early for us to be getting couples massages and meeting with decorators? You have a lot of eyes on you
right now.
You didnt know who I was, he reminded me with a grin. Its one of the reasons I found you so
irresistible.
I rolled my eyes. He was never going to let me live that down. Yes, I was pretty much the last person
in Portland to know who you are. But youve gotten a lot of press just this week. Dont get me wrong, the
massage sounds fantastic and Id love to tag along to your decorator. Im just afraid well end up with our
pictures in the paper and people will get the wrong idea.
Ethan shoulders tensed and he moved his hands to his hips. Maybe Im the one who has the wrong
idea. You dont want anyone to know youre my girlfriend?
I stared at him, my mouth refusing to work for a moment. I I didnt know I was your girlfriend. He
plopped down onto a weight bench and rested his elbows on his knees. Im sorry, Ethan. For the past
year, I was someone elses girlfriend.
So last night meant nothing to you? The words came out very much like a pout.
Of course it meant something to me. I felt the panic coming out in my voice. This wasnt coming out
right at all. But this is all happening so fast. I need time to process it. We need to slow down and
If I remember correctly, youre the one who crawled into my bed last night, he interrupted.
 I crossed the room and sank down to my knees in front of him, forcing him to look at me. I know I
did. Last night was one of the most incredible nights of my life. I just need a little time to figure out what
this means.
Ethan slid off of the bench and pushed past me on his way to the door. I struggled to my feet and
followed him to the dated living room. He paced the shag carpet and I could tell he was considering his
words carefully.
Look, Emily, he finally announced. I know that our timing could be better. But I also know how I
feel. I want you. Youve invaded my thoughts since that first night we met at the diner. Im not an ease
into the shallow end type of man. Im a dive in, head first, all or nothing type of man. Ive followed my
instincts my entire life and they havent failed me yet. And my instincts tell me youre the one for me. I
want to take you out, spoil you, and shout from the rooftops that youre my girl. If and when youre ready
for that, you know how to find me.
He opened the front door and gestured for me to leave as if Id even think about climbing behind the
wheel of my car in nothing but his bathrobe. I put my hands on my hips and remained rooted in place,
infuriated by his audacity.
Ill leave, I assured him. But not until Ive had my say. Last night meant everything to me. And I
feel the exact same way as you. Whatever this connection is between us, its strong. I understand that
youre not a patient guy and youre probably used to getting your way. And if what Ive read online is
true, youve been too focused on football to ever have a real relationship.
He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up my hand, giving him my best kindergarten dont you dare
stare. It closed immediately and I went on. I get that you may not understand how this works. But you
dont get to dictate how I feel and when I feel it. You have to let me get comfortable on my own. If and
when youre ready to do that, you know how to find me. You may as well shut that door and get back to
your workout. Ill see myself out after I change.
I turned and stormed off to the bedroom without waiting for his reply. I hoped hed be waiting to
apologize when I returned to the living room. But all that greeted me was the still open door.
 CHAPTER 4

I still cant believe you stormed out of his house and left him stranded, Melissa said with an amused
snort. Serves the bastard right. I love football, but the players are all the same. And quarterbacks are the
worst. They can be cocky motherfuckers, always thinking they should call the shots.
Ethan wasnt particularly cocky just demanding, I corrected her. I dunked a tortilla chip into a
bowl of salsa and bit it in half.
It was Saturday afternoon and Melissa and I were eating at our favorite hole-in-the-wall Mexican
restaurant. Wed arrived just as the lunch rush had cleared out, leaving us as the only customers. I was
grateful for the chance to vent to Melissa without being overheard.
Speaking of cocky, hows it been at school with Ben? she asked, dropping her voice.
I havent seen him. Hes sending his aides to my room to pick up the kids for PE. I was going to pack
up his things and leave them outside the door. But I took one look at it and tossed it into the dumpster in
my alley.
Did it make you feel better? she asked with a raised eyebrow.
I dont know, I replied and dropped my face into my hands. So much has happened these last few
days, Im not sure what Im supposed to feel.
Whatever youre feeling is what youre supposed to feel, Emily. There are no right answers here. But
I understand being filled with so many emotions they seem impossible to sort. Do you need to talk it out?
Maria Lopez, the owner and chef of Lopezs Cantina, arrived at our table, both arms covered in long
oven mitts.
Okay, girls, as usual, these plates are hot, she warned, setting our food in front of us. Would either
of you like a refill?
Not yet, thanks though. My Coke was still three-quarters full.
Im good, Melissa added.
Alright. Ill give you girls time to talk. If you need anything, Ill be behind the register.
Thanks, Maria, I offered.
She nodded and walked back to the front of the restaurant.
I do want to talk this out, I told Melissa. But first, I want to attack this burrito.
By all means, she replied, covering her enchiladas with salsa.
We ate in silence until our plates were clean, then Maria brought us coffee and a plate of sopaipillas
and told us to stay as long as wed like.
So whos messing with your head more, Ben or Ethan? Melissa pressed.
Im not sure, I admitted. I think whats surprised me most about the Ben situation is my reaction.
 What do you mean?
I was crushed when I found Ben with Becky but not initially. The first thing I felt was relief.
I think that says it all, Emily, Melissa murmured.
Believe me, the anger and hurt followed right behind it. But the relief never left. It hasnt made any of
this much easier. But its there. Obviously, you, Linda, and my uncle all saw through Ben better than I
did.
So maybe listen to us next time, she teased.
I will, I promised and drew an x over my heart.
Which brings us to Ethan she continued, trailing off with only a raised eyebrow to finish the
question.
I nodded and took a sip of the coffee. Yes which brings us to Ethan. I cant explain it, Mel. I feel
the strongest connection to him. Its like theres some sort of magnet inside my chest, pulling me toward
him. When I crawled into his bed that night, Id convinced myself I was ready for whatever came after. I
just wasnt expecting him to want to make things so public and official so soon. I panicked a little.
You did exactly what you were supposed to do, she corrected me. You told Ethan how you feel and
what you need. He did the same, albeit he was more of an ass about it. One of you will have to
compromise. And it cant be you. Itll set a precedent for your entire relationship and youll never win
another battle again.
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. Arent we a little old to play games?
Life is a game, Emily. I know being manipulative isnt in your nature. And refusing to be the first to
break isnt always the most mature way to behave. But neither is insisting on all or nothing and attempting
to throw a mostly naked woman out of your house. Trust me. Ive been around men like Ethan my entire
life. I understand how they think. And I also know you. If you let Ethan pressure you into something youre
not ready for, the relationship wont last. Youre doing whats in the best long-term interest for both of
you. Ethans only thinking of what he wants at the moment.
So I need to stay strong.
She nodded. You did the absolute right thing.
Ethans stubborn. What if he refuses to give too?
Then it isnt meant to be, she replied with a sad smile. I know thats not what you want to hear. But
its an outcome I think you should be ready for.
Are you still planning to go to the game on Monday?
She nodded. I have to. My boss is thrilled that I landed an exclusive with Portlands new golden boy.
But I promise not to enjoy one second of it.
Is it wrong that I still sort of want to go?
Not at all. But youre not going. Watch the game at home, if you want. But the last thing you should do
is show up at the stadium. Thats advice you should follow even if you and Ethan work things out
especially if you work things out.
I didnt follow. Why is that?
She rolled her eyes. I will never understand how you spent a year with Ben without soaking up even
a little Sports Center. Football girlfriends and wives are given way more credit than they deserve for their
mens performances. If you start going to games and Ethan does well, theyll call you a good luck charm.
But the moment he blows a game with you in the stands, theyll call you a curse and youll become the
most hated woman in the city.
Thats ridiculous, I replied with a snort.
I agree. But that doesnt make it any less true.
Ill keep that in mind, if we work things out. Can I ask one more question?
Ask whatever youd like, she insisted.
If, by some chance, Ethan does come around, do you think Id be a terrible person for jumping into a
new relationship so soon after leaving an old one?
Melissa shook her head. Keep in mind that my opinion is skewed. I love you and I want to see you
happy. I also work at a news station and Im bombarded every day with reminders that life is short. If you
decide Ethan is who you want, then screw everyone elses opinion. Ben is an asshole. I say you should
celebrate being rid of him, not mourn it.
She folded a honey dipped sopaipilla into her mouth and followed it with a long sip of coffee.
Have you told your uncle about any of this? she asked, wiping her mouth with a paper napkin.
I shook my head. He and Claudia left for Florida the morning after we all had dinner. Theyre
celebrating Walts retirement and I didnt want to interrupt their vacation. But Im sure hell have plenty to
say.
Does anyone else know about Ethan?
Just Linda. I dont want anyone else to know, Melissa. I cant exactly explain whats going on
between us when I dont understand it myself.
I understand, and my lips are sealed. I know youre putting a lot of trust in me, given my job. I
appreciate that, Em.
My eyes widened. Id never even considered that shed turn on me. I know youd never sell me out
for a story. And I promise if there ever is anything to tell, you have the exclusive.
Melissa beamed back at me and attacked another sopaipilla. Despite my confusion and my anger at
Ethans demanding behavior, I had a feeling Melissa would have her story sooner rather than later.

***

I spent the next three weeks conquering my urge to call Ethan. But just because I wasnt speaking to him
didnt mean he wasnt on my mind. The Stallions won their first three games; I watched anxiously from
home, praying Ethan wouldnt be hurt. He dominated the other teams defenses and quickly became the
most talked about player in professional football. As hed promised, sports reporters stopped questioning
whether or not he deserved his high priced salary.
Ethan popped into my mind at the most surprising, inconvenient times and everyone at school knew I
had something on my mind. Two weeks into mine and Ethans standoff, Ben and Becky went public with
their relationship and I started getting sympathetic smiles and lots of space. I was more than happy to let
them believe Ben was why Id been so distracted.
My door opened and my students filed into the room with Linda at their heels. I put a wide smile on
my face and rose to my feet.
Was everyone good for Miss Howard? I sang, meeting Lindas eyes. We alternated lunch and recess
duty and shed just finished her turn.
Everyone was great, she assured me. Our kindergarteners could teach the third-grade class a thing
or two. Youd have thought someone had turned a group of wild monkeys loose in the cafeteria.
They were crazy, Miss Kinkaid, Sophie Lewis told me, obviously in awe of the older kids antics.
Birthday? I asked Linda with a knowing frown.
She nodded. Beatrice said a parent showed up with icing drenched cupcakes, topped with chunks of
fudge. If youre not busy after school, she would probably appreciate a trip to the juice bar.
Sounds like a plan, I agreed. Juice bar was our code word for happy hour at the nearby pub.
A knock echoed through my room, followed by a collective gasp from all of the kids. I looked past
Linda and saw Ethan standing in my doorway.
The kids initial gasps of shock were followed by squeals of delight and disbelief. Half of them
swarmed him, tugging at his Stallions jersey and asking for autographs. The other half moved to the far
wall and blushed with shyness.
Beatrice really lucked out with those sugar bombs. Id take twenty kids on a sugar high over this
any day.
Okay class, lets all sit down in our seats.
I smiled at the kids as they settled behind their desks, then met Ethans eyes with my best what the
hell do you think youre doing glare. He looked adorably bashful and glanced down to the floor.
Im sorry, he mumbled. I didnt think this through. I was hoping to talk to you for a minute.
Linda pushed between us, ignoring Ethan completely. I have to get back to my room. See you at
Arnies?
Ill be there, I assured her.
I turned back to the class with a broad, forced smile. Boys and girls, I know youre all excited to
meet Mr. McAlister. Unfortunately, he cant stay to talk today.
Noooo! several voices moaned in unison.
Its okay, kids, Ethan assured them. Im here to talk to your teacher about an extra special surprise I
want to plan for your school. Would it be alright if I talk to her in the hall for a few minutes?
They answered him with silent, enthralled faces and a few celebrity-struck head nods.
Ill be right back kids, I promised. While Im talking to Mr. McAlister, you can split into your
reading groups. I want each group to choose a different chapter book. When I come back, well vote as a
class on what well read next during story time.
I led Ethan into the hallway and turned on him, my hands on my hips.
What the hell do you think youre doing here? And how did you get by the front desk anyway? I held
up a hand when he started to speak. You cant just show up unannounced and disrupt my class. And I sure
as hell hope you plan to follow through on that surprise you just promised them. Theyre not going to
forget about that, I hissed, doing my best to keep my voice low.
I know. Im sorry. I needed to see you, Emily. I know we only spent one night together, but I cant get
you out of my head. I miss you like Id miss a piece of my own body.
Melt. That was so sweet.
So you thought youd just show up here and claim me? I countered, keeping my mad on. Or have
you finally come to apologize?
I came to tell you that enough is enough. I know you have your reasons for wanting to take things
slow good, practical reasons. But I cant take it anymore. Ive never felt like this before. Until I met
you, I thought emotions like this only existed in books. We have a chance to be genuinely, blissfully happy
together. Im certain of it. And I know you feel it too. So like I said, I came here to tell you that enough is
enough. Can we please just give in to what we already know is right?
I shook my head in disbelief. You have a lot of nerve. We had this conversation three weeks ago and
I told you how I felt. Now you show up here and make the same demands? If youd have compromised
even an inch, this would have worked out much better for you. I need to get back to the kids. Ill tell
Principal Matthews he can expect to hear from you about that surprise.
Youre being ridiculous, he called after me. His voice echoed through the empty hallway and three
of my colleagues stuck their heads out to see what was going on.
Get out of here, Ethan, I hissed.
Sorry to disturb you all, he continued, raising his voice. As you may know, Im Ethan McAlister.
What you dont know is that Im in love with Emily Kinkaid.
Oh my God. Please, just let me disappear into the floor.
I felt my face flush hot with rage while several of the other teachers let out amused laughs and calls of
congratulations. I walked straight up to Ethan and poked his chest with two fingers.
If we were meant to be the way you say we are, you wouldnt have to force it. Now I believe I asked
you to leave.
He nodded at me, the muscles in his jaw pulsing. He stared at me another moment, then turned and
slunk away.

***

Bartender, my friend and I need another line of shots, Melissa called out.
Okay, but youre cut off after this, he warned. The redheaded bartender lined up six shot glasses on
his rubber mat and filled them to the brim with tequila.
It was Sunday afternoon, and Melissa and I were at Butchs Sports Bar watching the Stallions play. A
week and a half had passed since Id thrown Ethan out of the school, and my anger and frustration had
grown with each day. Ethan had been so close to perfect. If hed just been willing to compromise, we
could have been well on our way to the happy, blissful life hed described.
The bartender slid the drinks in front of us and the game came back from commercial.
Just in time, Billy, Melissa told him.
We were playing a new drinking game to celebrate my decision to hold my ground with Ethan. Every
time someone on television called Ethan Portlands Most Eligible Bachelor, we took a shot. We also
drank when anyone mentioned any of the women hed been casually tied to during his career, and every
time the reporter from Melissas station appeared on the screen. Phillip appeared in the bottom right
corner of the television screen and we salted our wrists. We were already on our second line of shots, and
the tequila went down without a burn.
Im sorry you didnt get to be on the field tonight, I told her, tossing aside my lemon rind.
She shrugged and let out a frustrated sigh. It sucks, but what can I do? The moment the chicken pox
threat was gone, I was booted back to the features section. My boss promised to start throwing me some
of the lower profile sports assignments. I guess well just wait and see if that happens.
I gave her a sympathetic nod and turned my attention back to the game.
Portlands at first down on the thirty-five-yard line. Heres the snap
 And the Denver defense has blitzed McAlister
I watched in horror as a trio of defensive linemen took Ethan to the ground. They piled on top of him
and an official tossed up a flag. Ethans teammates dug through the pile of bodies, tossing the other
players off of him. Melissa slipped her hand into mine as paramedics rushed the field.
Officials have called unnecessary roughness. McAlister doesnt seem to be responding.
Where the fuck were his blockers? someone in the crowd called out.
The bar sprung alive with debate, but my only focus was the television. I felt as if my very existence
was tied to Ethans. I needed him to be okay, even though I still didnt understand why. The paramedics
loaded his limp body onto a stretcher and an ambulance pulled straight onto the field.
We have to go, I announced.
Billy, I need to tab out.
The bartender swiped Melissas debit card and she gave our untouched shots to the couple beside us.
She scribbled her name on the receipt while I headed for the door.
Neither of us are in any shape to drive, she pointed out as we stumbled onto the sidewalk.
Then well take a cab. Where would they take him, Melissa?
I dont know for sure. Thats not the kind of information the team shares with anyone. But if I have to
guess, Id say Oregon Medicine and Science.
Are you sure? Providence Medical is closer, I pointed out.
Yes. But the teaching hospital has better doctors and equipment.
Then thats where were going.
I stepped to the curb and hailed an oncoming cab. We slid into the backseat and I gave the driver our
destination. He had the game playing on the radio. During the thirty-minute drive to the hospital, the
sportscaster made two separate announcements that there was still no news on Ethan McAlisters
condition.
Hell be okay, right? I asked Melissa under my breath.
I dont know, she warned. He hit the ground pretty hard. And he had a lot of weight on top of him. I
dont want to feed you false hope, Emily. This could be bad.
I nodded and gripped her hand tighter. When we finally pulled up to the emergency room entrance, I
threw two twenties at the driver and told him to keep the change. I rushed through the open glass doors
and into the sterile waiting area.
Can I help you? asked the nurse behind the desk.
Were here to see Ethan McAlister, Melissa explained.
If the nurse recognized his name, she did a great job of covering it.
Room number?
I dont know, I confessed. Im not even sure this is where they brought him.
I understand youre worried, maam, she replied with genuine sympathy. But Im not allowed to
give out patient information. I can direct you to a specific room, but nothing more.
I opened my mouth to argue, but Melissa pulled me away. We understand, she called over her
shoulder.
I shook off her arm as we neared the end of the hallway. What are you doing? I have to find Ethan. I
have to know hes okay. You dont understand, Meliss
I get it, she assured me. And were going to find him. Just follow my lead.
After finding the main lobby, Melissa stopped in front of a large board that listed every doctors
office number.
All of the ortho offices are in wing four B, and the neuro docs are one floor up. I think its a safe bet
that the patient rooms are close by, she explained.
Thank God youre good at your job. Lets start on five. Surely theyd prioritize his brain over his
bones.
One would hope so, she agreed, rushing after me to the elevator. We rode the car up to the fifth floor
and started wandering the hallways, examining the handwritten nameplates on each patient room door.
You cant be here, announced a harsh male voice.
Startled, I turned toward the sound. A strict looking man in a lab coat stared back at me with a frown.
The young, burly man behind him met my eyes with a hint of recognition. Melissa sidled up beside me and
gave the doctor her most charming smile.
Is there a problem? she asked, her voice dripping with innocence.
This is a closed patient floor. Youre not allowed here.
The younger man cleared his throat, his eyes still on me. Youre Emily, right?
Yes, I replied with a sigh of relief.
This is Ethans girlfriend, Doc. Hell want to see her when he wakes up.
The doctor pinched his lips with disapproval, but he didnt make us leave. Ethan was just taken to
radiology. If youd like to go to the waiting room down the hall, Ill come get you when hes regained
consciousness.
Thank you.
The doctor gave us a curt nod and continued down the hallway.
And thank you, I told the other man.
He nodded and extended his hand. Brock Simpson, Im one of Ethans teammates.
You were injured last week, I remembered out loud. Hows the ankle?
Not so hot. He lifted his pants leg, revealing a thick metal and neoprene brace. Since I wasnt
dressed out for the game, coach let me ride in the ambulance with Ethan.
Im glad he wasnt alone.
Brock nodded and the three of us followed signs to the fifth-floor waiting area. Melissa bought three
bottles of water from the vending machine and we sat in nervous silence until the doctor reappeared
nearly an hour later.
Ethan is awake, he announced. Miss Kinkaid, hes asked to see you first.
Relief rushed through my chest and I rose to my feet.
Take your time, Emily, Brock insisted. Just tell Ethan Im here if he needs anything.
Ill wait right here, Melissa added.
The doctor paused and studied her for a moment. Dont you work for one of the local news stations?
She nodded. Yes. Im a field reporter for Channel 9 News.
He narrowed his eyes. I trust your visit tonight is strictly personal?
 Absolutely, she agreed, her voice solemn.
He was silent for a few more long seconds, then decided he believed her. Very well. This way, Miss
Kinkaid.
I followed him down the hallway, anxiety growing in my chest. Is Ethan going to be okay?
Ill let him answer that for you.
The doctor pushed open Ethans door and disappeared into the room. I took a deep breath and
followed. Ethan was propped up in the hospital bed. His face was bruised and cut and tubes snaked into
his body, but he looked happier than Id ever seen him.
Hey baby, he greeted me with an ecstatic grin. If Id known a few bumps and bruises was all it
would take to get you back, Id have gotten blitzed a month ago.

***

I knocked lightly on Ethans hospital door and gently swung it open. He was sitting upright in his bed,
frowning at the screen of his laptop.
Hey, I greeted him tentatively. Are you up for some company?
Relief washed over his face as he looked up from his computer. Youre here. I was starting to
wonder if I dreamed that. Come in. He pushed the tray table away from his bed and moved his legs to
one side of the mattress. Half of me wanted to rush to him, the other half was afraid Id hurt him. I perched
on the arm of the recliner instead of settling down beside him.
How do you feel?
Like a thousand pounds tackled me, he replied with a cringe. But my head is clear today. Doctor
Murphy told me I was pretty out of it last night.
I nodded. It scared me, I confessed. When I first saw you, I thought you were fine. But then you
started talking nonsense, and you kept laughing at the wall. The doctor explained it was just the effects of
the painkillers theyd given you. But after the way you were knocked out, I was terrified something more
serious was going on.
My head is the least of my problems. I just got word from the trainer. Thanks to this, Im sitting out
for at least three weeks. He nodded toward his right arm, which hung from a sling in front of his chest.
I knew he was disappointed, but I felt incredibly relieved. I knew Ethan would play hurt if the
coaches and trainers let him.
Three weeks will fly by in no time, I assured him, my voice hesitant. This was the first time wed
really talked since I threw him out of the school, and we were both ignoring the elephant in the room.
If you want, Ill keep you company while you heal.
Ethan reached for me with his left arm and I finally joined him on the bed. I want that very much, he
whispered.
I lowered my lips to his and kissed him gently, savoring his taste. He pulled away when my salty tears
hit our lips. He brushed my cheek with his thumb and stared at me with concern.
Emily, Im going to be fine. I promise, he assured me.
I know, I sobbed, my tears falling harder. I was just so scared. I wasted weeks trying to convince
myself I was better off without you. But I couldnt let you go. Melissa and I were watching the game at the
bar. When you hit the ground and didnt get up I thought I thought
 Shh, Ethan whispered, easing my head to his left shoulder. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of
my head.
Im so sorry I wasted so much time. I dont want to waste any more time, I sobbed.
You didnt waste anything. I did, he insisted. I was a bull-headed asshole. We can take things as
slow as you want, Em. Just tell me that I havent lost my chance with you.
You havent lost anything, I told him, lifting my head from his shoulder. I took him by the hand and
looked into his soft, hopeful eyes. I cant fight the connection between us, not anymore. When I watched
those linebackers take you down last night, I felt the impact course through my entire body. When they
loaded you onto the stretcher, it was like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. All I could think
about was getting to you. I still dont understand this. But Im ready to figure out what these feelings
mean.
Ethan squeezed my hand, then lifted it to his lips. You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say
that. And I meant what I said. We can take this as slow as you want. Im happy just to be in your presence.
And Ill understand if you still want to keep this quiet. I dont blame you for not wanting to be hounded by
reporters.
Theres no way well be able to keep it quiet. Until youre healed, I have no intention of leaving your
side for anything other than work. Youre going to be sick of me by the time the doctor clears you for
practice.
You really want to take care of me?
I really do, I told him with a genuine grin. But if this is going to work, there are a few things youll
need to understand.
Im all ears, he insisted.
I know youre used to getting your way. But I dont do well with ultimatums. You dont get to decide
how you want things and demand I fall in line.
Im sorry, he offered with a regretful groan. I never should have told you we had to be all or
nothing. Especially since you were fresh out of a long relationship. Of course you needed time to get your
head on straight. I should have understood that. The way I spoke to you that morning that was all
insecurity.
That surprised me. What in the world do you have to be insecure about?
Ethan shrugged. You were with Ben for a long time. Youd told me over and over again how much
you loved him, how you planned to settle down with him. I thought you didnt want to make things official
with me because you were still hung up on him.
That never crossed my mind.
I held his face in my hand and stared at him, my eyes firm and determined. I dont want you to ever
entertain a thought like that again. I thought I loved Ben. But I can see now that what I really loved was the
idea of the kind of life I could have with him.
Is that still the kind of life you want, Emily? An uneventful, settled life? he pressed. I heard the
anxiety in his voice and felt bad for not being able to give him the answer he was hoping for.
Deep down? Yes. If I had my way, youd have a boring nine-to-five job, youd play golf every
Saturday, and wed have pancakes every Sunday morning. That type of existence seems exciting to me
because Ive never had it before. But I know thats pretty much the exact opposite of what you want. And
Id never ask you to give up the life you love.
 So where does that leave us?
I shrugged. Well both have to learn to compromise. I guess well figure it out as we go.
I moved to kiss him again, but the door flew open and a petite, middle-aged redhead bustled into the
room.
Good aft oh Im sorry, darling. I didnt realize you had company. Hello dear, Im Martha Montez.
And you are? Ethans mother extended her hand and looked me up and down with a critical eye.
Mom, this is Emily Kinkaid. Ive told you about her. Emily, this is my mother.
Its very nice to meet you, Mrs. Montez, I offered, politely shaking her hand.
Kinkaid youre the kindergarten teacher? You teach at that underprivileged school.
The Day School isnt in the best of neighborhoods, I patiently agreed. But we have students from a
variety of backgrounds.
Thats wonderful, dear, she replied with a dismissive wave. She wedged herself between us and
started fussing with his pillow.
How are you feeling, darling? Are they taking good care of you here?
Im great, Mom. Id be better if you hadnt pulled strings with the trainers. I know you influenced
them to bench me instead of putting me on the injured reserve list.
She fluffed a pillow with a vengeance. I dont have the slightest idea what youre talking about.
Marthas tone told me she knew exactly what he was talking about. But I didnt want Ethan back on the
field any more than she did, so I kept my mouth shut.
Come on, Mom. Half of the teams played with broken ribs at some point or another. And even with a
busted collarbone, my aim is better than Bronskis. If Coach had his way, Id be on the field Thursday
night.
Honey, you can think what you want. But your broken ribs are in dangerous places. If youre hit again
before theyre healed, you could puncture a lung. Your life is more important than a few games.
I think we all agree on that, I piped in, a little too eager to get on Marthas good side.
She turned her nose up and looked from Ethan to me. I trust you understand its important my son
doesnt exert himself in any way?
My face flushed hot at the implication in her words. Ethan, on the other hand, seemed amused by her
warning. Dont worry, Mom. Emily isnt going to screw me to death.
Ethan David! Martha gasped.
My face burned hotter, but Ethan pressed on. Im sorry, Mother. But if you insist on being
inappropriate, so will I.
She scowled at him but changed the subject. I called for an update earlier and your nurse said theyre
planning to release you this afternoon. Mercedes is setting your old room up and Ive hired a nurse to take
care of you during the day while Victor and I are at work. When youre up to it, text Mercedes a list of the
food you want her to stock.
None of that will be necessary, Mother, he insisted. When I get out of here, all I want to do is go
home.
Dont be ridiculous, sweetheart. Who will take care of you?
I cleared my throat. I will.
She shot me a look. I dont mean to be condescending, dear. But Im not sure youre capable of doing
that.
I can take care of myself, Ethan interjected, his voice harsh. He took a deep breath and continued on
with a softer tone.
Look, I appreciate that you want to take care of me. But Im a grown man, Mom. I want to heal in my
bed, with my things around me. And I already have everything I need for PT in my home gym.
Martha studied him silently for a moment then let out a resigned sigh. Fine. I know better than to try
to talk sense into you when you get like this.
She turned to me, her hands on her hips. Do you plan on moving into Ethans place while hes
recovering?
I plan to be there as often as he needs me, I replied. Ethan and I hadnt discussed me moving in. I
wasnt sure I was ready for that big of a commitment, and I certainly didnt want to discuss it for the first
time in front of his mother.
She sniffed. I assume you wont be able to take time off work?
I wouldnt ask Emily to do that, Ethan chimed in again.
Fine. I wont force you to move home, on the condition that the nurse I hired takes care of you while
Emilys at school.
Deal, Ethan agreed. But tell her to bring a book or something. Im far from helpless. Shes not
going to have much to do.
Martha looked at the gold Rolex on her wrist and planted a quick kiss on Ethans cheek.
I need to get back to Victor. We have a charity event tonight for the Childrens Hospital. Youll call
me if you need anything?
Yes, Mother.
She nodded at him and then stepped past me without making eye contact.
Emily, can I please speak with you in the hallway? she asked just before disappearing through the
door. Ethan opened his mouth to protest, but she was already out of sight.
You dont have to go out there, he told me.
Its fine, I assured him, crossing my fingers. Im sure she just wants to give me a few pointers on
how to take care of you.
He scowled and his head fell back on his pillow. Not likely.
I took a deep breath and joined Martha in the hall. She led me wordlessly to the waiting room and
pointed at a bench.
Have a seat, Emily.
I sat down and folded my hands in my lap. Is there something I can help you with, Mrs. Montez?
She stood in front of me, hands on hips. Yes. You can tell me what your intentions are with my son.
Im not sure how to answer that, I admitted, meeting her eyes. I care about Ethan. For the moment, I
intend to take care of him, make sure he follows the doctors instructions, and keep him company while he
gets well.
And after hes well? she pressed. Will you be moving back to your place, or do you intend to use
this as your way of becoming a fixture in his life?
She thinks Im a gold digger.
 I wont have to move back to my place because I dont intend to move out of it. With all due respect,
Mrs. Montez, I understand youre protective of Ethan. But I have no intentions of taking advantage of him.
I own my condo outright, and I have my own money. I dont need Ethan to take care of me.
She studied me for a few long moments then spoke again. My son is quite taken with you. And he was
crushed when you turned him away. Ethan could have any woman he wants. I suggest you keep that in
mind.
With that, she spun on her thousand dollar high heels and stormed toward the elevator.
I resisted the urge to flip a middle finger to her back.
 CHAPTER 5

Ethan was released from the hospital the next day around the time I was corralling my students into the
cafeteria line. I checked in with him every time I had a free moment and stared at my clock, counting the
seconds until wed be together again. When the final bell rang for the day, I herded the kids out of the
room, locking the classroom behind us. Id almost made it to the parking lot when Bens voice echoed
down the hall.
Emily? Can I talk to you for a second?
I took a deep breath before turning to face him. Students and teachers lingered in the hall, so I put a
broad smile on my face and tried to sound casual.
What can I help you with?
Ben stepped up and took me by the elbow. Privately, he whispered.
I shook free of his grip but followed him into the empty break room.
What is it, Ben? I snapped, my voice much harsher once we were in private.
He exhaled loudly and leaned against the door. I owe you an apology. I owe you more than that.
Oh my God is he crying?
Ben looked up at me with bloodshot eyes. I made a terrible mistake, Em. I never should have gotten
involved with Becky. That was the most selfish, destructive thing Ive ever done. I knew how you felt
about me, and where we were headed. And I panicked. Is there any way you could find it in your heart to
forgive me?
Ive already forgiven you, Ben. Is that it? I have somewhere to be.
I tried to move past him, but he wouldnt budge from the door. He gripped me by the forearms and
stared at me with desperation in his eyes.
You dont understand. I miss you. Ill do anything it takes to get you back. Just tell me what to do.
I shook free of him and took a few steps back, my heart racing with rage. I wanted to scream at him, to
tell him he had a lot of nerve and suggest where he could stick his apology. But the last thing I wanted to
do was start a long, drawn out argument. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him defiantly.
I said I forgive you. I also told you I have somewhere to be. Get out of my way, Ben. Or the moment I
get out of this room, Im going straight to Principal Matthews.
He glared back at me but took two steps to the side. I opened the door, but he grabbed my arm again as
I stepped into the hallway.
You want what I can give you, Em. I know you do. We love each other. And well be together again.
Keep dreaming, douchebag.
I glanced to my right and saw Linda coming down the hallway. Let go of me, Ben, I said firmly.
 He let go and followed me into the hall, startled to see Linda.
Is everything okay, Emily? she asked, making her disdain for him clear by her tone.
Everythings fine. Im on my way out, you?
She nodded but kept her eyes on Ben. Ill walk you to your car.
She linked her arm through mine and we set off for the double glass doors.
What was that about? she whispered.
Just Ben being his usual asshole self, I replied with a low growl. Apparently, hes realized that
leaving me was a terrible mistake. He actually asked what he had to do to win me back.
I hope you told him to fuck off.
I shook my head as we stepped into the warm sunshine. I told him I accepted his apology. I didnt
dignify the rest of it with a response.
Good for you, she said, turning toward my Prius. She walked me to the drivers door and shaded
her eyes with one hand.
Im glad you told him off. But the look on his face when I walked up it was like he was
possessed.
Bens an ass. But hes harmless, I insisted. Im sure hell have a new conquest lined up sooner
rather than later and forget all about me.
If youre sure but I definitely dont think you should be alone with him again.
Im not afraid of Ben, I assured her. But I dont plan on spending anymore one-on-one time with
him.
Okay. Well, tell Ethan hes in our thoughts and call me if you need anything.
I will. Thanks, Linda.
I climbed behind the wheel of my car and left the parking lot without a second thought of Ben.

***

I found Ethan stretched out on a lawn chair, sunning by the pool. He wore a pair of long, loose athletic
shorts, a backwards Stallions hat, and his arm sling. Even with the bruises, his firm, muscular chest sent
shivers of desire through me.
Hey, baby, he greeted me with a grin. How was work?
Torturous. I bent down and kissed him before settling down in the opposite chair. All I could think
about was getting here to you. How are you feeling?
As the doctors warned, the pain is definitely worse on the third day. His beautiful face twisted into
a grimace. It feels like someone ripped my arm off and then reattached it wrong. I still cant really take a
deep breath.
When did you last have your pain meds? And arent you supposed to have a nurse?
Mindy, the nurse, left about an hour ago. I promised to be good and not move until you got here. And
I havent had a pain pill since I left the hospital. They make me sleepy.
Youre healing. Youre supposed to sleep.
And I will, he agreed. But I didnt want to be zonked out when you got here. Looking forward to
spending alone time with you is what got me through the last few days.
 I couldnt help but smile back at him. Im flattered. But I hate that youre hurting. What if I get you a
pill and we cuddle up for a nap together?
Is this an example of the compromises you were talking about? he teased.
Yes, I agreed. And also, Im exhausted. I havent slept very well since Sunday since long before
then, actually.
Ethan gave me an understanding nod. I havent gotten a good nights sleep since the last time you
stayed over, he confessed. He slowly rose to his feet and took my hand, leading me back into the house.
We made our way to Ethans bedroom, where his prescriptions were laid out on his nightstand. He
took a single pain killer, then I helped him between the sheets and propped my pillows up beside him on
the headboard. I nestled in beside him, longing to be in his arms but knowing he was too hurt to hold me. I
settled for resting my head on Ethans shoulder and slipping my hand into his.
What are the chances your mom set up a spy cam to make sure Im not overly exerting you? I teased.
Ethan let out an exaggerated groan. God, I wouldnt put that past her. Why? Do you feel like exerting
me? he teased back.
I turned and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Like you wouldnt believe. But were not taking that
chance. Ill control myself until the doctor says its safe. Im just happy were in each others arms again,
Ethan. I can be patient with the rest.
He moved a hand to my chin and pulled my lips to his. I kissed him softly, constantly aware of his
breaths. Id joked about his overprotective mother, but the last thing I wanted to do was cause him any
more pain. His chest rose and fell a little too roughly, and I pulled away.
Im okay, he assured me.
I shook my head. Youve already told me its painful to take a deep breath, I reminded him.
He groaned and kissed my forehead. But the rest of it feels so good.
I rolled my eyes. We have plenty of time for that, Ethan. And believe me, itll feel a lot better when
Im not worried about one of your lungs collapsing.
Ethan took my hand and guided it to his stiff, throbbing cock. We could go really slow, he
whispered, stroking himself with my hand. And if it gets to be too much for me, we can always stop.
I wanted Ethan as much as he wanted me. But I was terrified of hurting him. I shook my head but
didnt pull my hand away.
We cant, Ethan. We just have to wait a few weeks.
Weve already waited weeks, he reminded me, arching his hips into my hand. Ive spent weeks
fantasizing about being with you again. I need to be with you, to feel that connection. Please, dont make
me wait. We dont even have to move. This isnt about an orgasm, Em. This is about me and you,
connected the way we belong.
Well, how the hell am I supposed to argue with that?
When you put it that way I closed my hand around his cock and planted a soft, quick kiss on his
lips. The moment I feel like this is too much for you, were stopping, I warned.
Deal the condoms are in the top drawer.
I studied his face for a moment. Im on the pill, I finally confessed. Ive been on the pill since I
was sixteen. Unless theres something I need to know, the condoms can stay in the drawer.
Ethans eyes burned hot with desire and he shook his head. If there was something you needed to
know, you would already know.
He grabbed the hem of my blouse and pulled it over my head, tossing it to the floor. I stripped out of
the rest of my clothes and pulled Ethans shorts down his legs before crawling onto his lap. I stared into
his eyes and issued a final warning.
This is not going to get athletic, I reminded him.
He nodded and leaned back against the headboard. I lowered myself onto his cock, my wet, aching
pussy finally satisfied. Ethan filled me completely as I leaned back, careful to keep all of my weight away
from his broken bones.
Ethan let out a light moan, but his breaths remained shallow and easy. This is just what I needed.
He shifted his weight, bending his knees behind me. I leaned back against his thighs and circled my
hips ever so slightly. Ethan looked at me with an adoring, satisfied smile.
Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?
I felt myself blush and dropped my eyes to the bed. He took my chin in one hand and lifted my face
again. He studied me for a moment, our hips completely still.
I mean it, Emily. You are the most beautiful woman Ive ever known, inside and out. And when were
together, like this, I feel like Im finally where I belong.
I nodded back at him and brushed a single happy tear from my eye. I feel the same way.
I leaned forward and kissed him again, grinding into his cock.
Slow down, he warned with a whisper.
I immediately pulled away, ready to climb off of him. But Ethan put a warm hand on my shoulder and
gently pushed me back against his legs.
Just slow not stop, he moaned. He circled his hips and then went still again.
Open your eyes, Em, he pleaded.
I opened my eyes and held his gaze as he moved with soft, gentle thrusts. He moved his hands to my
neck, massaging my shoulders before tracing long, teasing strokes down my sides. He moved from my
hips to my collarbones, then to my breasts, all the while rocking ever so slightly within me. He slipped
one thumb into my mouth, and I swirled my tongue around it and bore down on his cock.
He dropped his wet thumb to my clit and slowly stroked me. He teased my breasts with his other hand
and the slow burn inside me grew to a raging fire. We were barely moving, but Id never felt so alive.
Are you going to come for me, baby? he asked as he felt me tighten.
Yes, I gasped back at him. Yes
He pinched my nipple and increased the pressure of his thumb. He moved his hips with two sharp,
quick thrusts and my body exploded with pleasure. I collapsed back against Ethans legs and his thumb
moved faster, spurring me to a new level of ecstasy. I writhed against him and felt his cock tremble and
then erupt inside me. I heard Ethan struggle for breath and immediately went into panic mode.
Oh my God, I breathed out, crawling to his side. Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Im so sorry.
I took Ethan by the shoulder, gently lifting him off of the pillows. He let out a soft laugh and collapsed
back against the headboard.
Im fine, Emily. Im better than fine. That was incredible.
You sounded like you were having an asthma attack or something?
I got a little carried away at the end, he agreed, looking guilty. But it was more than worth it.
 Do you need another pill? I asked, desperate to do anything to make him feel better.
He shook his head. I just need a minute to catch my breath. Come here just be careful and avoid my
right side.
He wrapped his left arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder. After a few minutes, his
breaths evened and he cleared his throat.
That was a nice surprise about the birth control. Why didnt you mention it last time?
I dont know. I guess I didnt completely trust you then. I feel the exact same way you do, Ethan. But
you have to admit, this is all sort of surreal. I didnt know emotions like this existed. Especially so fast.
Its completely surreal, he agreed with a nod. But you trust it do you trust me now? The
hesitation in his voice tore at my heart. I sat up again and looked into his eyes.
Yes, Ethan. I still dont understand this, but I trust it. And I trust you with everything.
Our next kiss was interrupted by Ethans growling stomach. I let out a soft chuckle and pulled away
from him, reaching for my clothes.
What sounds good for dinner? I asked my patient.
Lets order a pizza and eat it in bed, he suggested.
I dropped my blouse and crawled back between the sheets beside him. Thats the second best idea
youve had today.

***

Its so good to see you, sweetheart. You look fantastic, Uncle Walt said, wrapping me in a bear hug. He
released me and pulled out my chair before returning to his seat. The hostess set a menu down in front of
me and filled my water glass before leaving the table.
Its great to see you too. How pissed are you? I asked with a cringe.
Why would I be pissed? he replied with a shrug. I cant say anything. I kept my relationship with
Claudia from you for months. Though Id like to think if I were in your position, Id have said something
instead of letting you find out about it in the news.
Two weeks had passed since Ethans injury. The previous weekend, the two of us had finally ventured
out of his house. We were photographed at several home interior stores around the city and news of our
relationship spread like wildfire.
I should have called you. Im so sorry. Everything happened so fast. I wasnt sure how to explain
something I didnt understand myself.
I understand, he assured me. Though I have to admit, seeing those pictures kind of stung. I hope you
know you can talk to me about anything, Emily.
Love for my surrogate dad filled me. Ive always known that.
A tall, blonde waitress came up to our table and greeted us with a wide smile. She looked from my
uncle to me, and then to the empty chair beside me.
Good evening. My name is Erica and Ill be taking care of you tonight. Are we expecting anyone
else? she asked hopefully.
She recognizes me from the news. Shes hoping Ethans joining us.
No, its just the two of us, I replied with an amused grin.
Her shoulders sank a bit, but she kept the smile plastered across her face. Wonderful. Can I start you
off with a glass of wine or an appetizer?
I shook my head. Ill have the grilled snapper and a glass of iced tea.
Ill have the same, Walt added.
Ill have your drinks right out, she promised.
Erica rushed away from the table and Walts lips turned up in a teasing smile. Pretty soon, I wont be
able to take you anywhere.
Its ridiculous. And its definitely going to take some getting used to.
So when will I get to meet this new man of yours?
Whenever youd like. In fact, he asked me to invite you and Claudia to the Stallions game on
Thanksgiving. They play in the morning, and we thought wed host dinner at his place after.
Thats sort of short notice, but I believe we can make it, he agreed. Will Ethan get to play?
I nodded. If all goes as planned, itll be his first game back.
Erica reappeared with our teas. Are you sure I cant get you something while you wait on your
entrees?
No, thank you, I told her again.
She nodded and moved on to a nearby table.
Uncle Walt took a long drink of his tea and then met my eyes with a curious stare. So, tell me how
this happened. The last time we talked about your personal life, youd just left that bastard, Ben.
I took another sip of tea, thinking of how best to share the story. Ethan and I met at a diner a few
weeks after school started. We were both eating alone at the counter. I had no idea who he was, which he
still finds incredibly amusing. He asked me out then, but I was still with Ben. The next Saturday, I tagged
along when Melissa interviewed the team. Thats when I realized who he was. He asked for my number
again, and I gave it to him. We were just friends until I realized what an ass Ben really was. We didnt
officially start dating until after he was hurt.
From what Ive heard, youre not so much dating as shacking up with the guy, he countered with a
hint of disapproval.
I rolled my eyes. Im not shacking up with anyone. Im staying at Ethans because hes hurt and needs
someone to take care of him. As soon as hes feeling better, Ill go home.
The longer youre there, the less likely youll leave, he argued. I just want to make sure youre
thinking this through. I mean how much do you even know about Ethan? It seems like youre moving
awfully fast.
It has been fast, I agreed. I know this sounds crazy. But when we met, I didnt feel like I was
meeting a stranger. I felt like I was being reunited with someone Id forgotten Id lost.
A happy smile spread across my uncles face.
What is it? I asked, my brow pinched with confusion.
Thats exactly what your father said the night he met your mother. Back then, I thought he was being
an overly dramatic, sentimental sap. But I felt the same way the first time I saw Claudia. And Im so
happy to hear you say it now.
So I have your approval? I bit my lip, waiting for his answer.
Did you really need it? he teased.
I reached across the table, took him by the hand, and met his eyes. I should have listened to you when
you warned me about Ben. You are the one person in this world who has always had my back. So, yes. I
actually need your approval very much.
Tears welled in my uncles eyes and he closed his hand around mine. All Ive ever wanted is for you
to be happy. Follow your heart, Emily. And Ill watch your back.

***

Principal Matthews stepped up to the microphone and attempted to quiet the crowd. The entire school
was packed into the school auditorium, along with more than half of the kids parents. Ethan had followed
through on his promise to treat the kids; the Stallions starting lineup was on the stage.
Boys and girls, if youll just settle down we can get started. The longer it takes you to get quiet, less
time youll have on the field, Matthews warned.
I think our real problem is the parents, Linda whispered, leaning into my shoulder.
I nodded and looked out over the crowd. Every kindergartener had a parent at the assembly, leaving
Linda and me with no immediate responsibilities. We stood at the back of the room with Melissa, who
was covering the assembly for the station.
It was so sweet of Ethan to put all of this together, Linda continued. The kids will remember this
for the rest of their lives.
It looks great for the team too, Melissa added with a wink. Not to mention it gives me more air
time. Have I told you lately how much I like your new boyfriend?
Maybe once or twice, I teased.
When Ethan learned that the station was limiting Melissas sports assignments, hed taken it upon
himself to do something about it. He called in a favor with his stepfather, who in turn called the station.
Im not sure of the words exchanged, but the next day Melissa was called into her boss office and told
she was the stations official Stallions correspondent.
I cant believe how much better he looks, Linda observed. If I didnt know better, Id never guess
he was hurt.
The room was finally quiet and Principal Matthews introduced Ethan. The room erupted in applause
as he stepped up to the microphone.
Hes been pushing himself too hard. We had a huge fight about it this morning, I confided.
Thats a football player for you, Melissa explained. I know youre worried about him, Emily. But
Ethans tough. Im sure he can handle more than you realize.
He may be tougher than most people. But his bones dont heal any faster, I countered, shaking my
head.
The doctors cleared Ethan for light exercise and Id woken up that morning to find him bench pressing
heavy weights. Wed had a knockdown drag out over the definition of light exercise and Id left the
house angry.
Linda raised a curious eyebrow. Trouble in paradise?
A little, I confessed. Its nothing devastating. Hes stubborn, Im stubborn. Sometimes we butt
heads. He is adorable though, isnt he? I asked, grinning up at the stage. Ethan was giving the room an
enthusiastic speech about taking pride in your abilities, and all eyes were fixed on him with rapt attention.
Yes, hes adorable, Melissa agreed, rolling her eyes. Im going to slip out and use the restroom.
 Ill join you, Linda whispered.
They both looked at me and I shook my head. Im fine here.
Well be right back, Linda promised.
They snuck out of the auditorium while Ethan introduced Bob Palmer, the teams leading wide
receiver. I caught Ethans gaze as he slipped back into line and he gave me a quick wink. I felt a moment
of relief, and then my blood grew hot with annoyance.
Well, well, well. Your boyfriend has some nerve, showing up here acting like hes Gods gift, Ben
whispered. His arm brushed against mine as he eased up beside me. I instinctively pulled away, refusing
to look at him.
Hes doing no such thing, I hissed.
A group of parents looked over their shoulders and I felt my face flush with embarrassment.
This is the last place I should lose my temper.
Whatever, Ben pressed on, raising his voice. Unlike me, he didnt seem to care if we drew an
audience.
You know what, Em? Youre a hypocritical bitch.
I finally faced him, took him by the arm and marched him into the hallway before he had a chance to
embarrass me any further. Once we were alone, I backed him into the wall and jammed a finger into his
chest.
I dont know what the fuck your problem is, I hissed. But you dont get to talk to me like that. I
didnt go to Matthews after you cornered me in the breakroom. But I swear to God, Ben. If you dont back
off, Ill have your job.
What are you going to do? he snarled. Have your boyfriends daddy buy the school and fire me?
I wont have to involve Ethan at all. What youre doing is harassment, and its against the law.
You act so high and mighty. I actually felt guilty for hurting you. But thats not what happened at all,
was it? I bet you were relieved when you found me with Becky. You got to make me out as the bad guy,
and you were free to whore yourself to McAlister.
I was outraged by his words, so I decided to hit him below the belt. I glared at him with mocking
sympathy and took a few steps back.
Poor, Ben. Youre jealous, arent you? You thought you were the big bad man, living the dream with
a devoted girlfriend and plenty of sex on the side. I forgot that youve already had to settle for your plan
B. I bet you cant stand it that Im with a real man now. Ethans living out all of your wildest dreams. And
youre stuck here, alone.
Youre going to be alone soon, too, he retorted, a bead of sweat dripping down his temple. Do you
really not understand how professional ball players operate? Let me break it down for you, sweetheart.
Youre the home girl. You may get more of Ethans time than the others, but youre far from the only pussy
in the lineup. There are women all over this country just counting the days until the Stallions play their
home team.
I shook my head and backed away from him. I dont know why I even bothered. Youre not worth the
time or the energy. My relationship with Ethan is none of your fucking business. And youre the last
person I feel the need to explain myself to.
Is everything okay, darling?
My body instinctively relaxed at the sound of Ethans voice. I met his eyes as he stepped out of the
auditorium and gave him a reassuring nod. Everythings fine.
He put a protective arm around my shoulder and glared at Ben.
Are you sure? he asked me. I saw you two step out here. When you didnt come right back, I got
worried.
Im positive. Ben here was just explaining to me how many women you have spread out across the
country. He says Ill be crawling back to him in no time. Isnt that right, Ben?
Bens face turned an alarming shade of red and a thick blue vein popped up on his forehead. He glared
at me, unable to form words.
Ethan raised an amused eyebrow. Is that so? Did you inform Ben that our relationship is none of his
damn business?
I did, I agreed, my voice light and easy. But he doesnt seem to be getting the picture. Im afraid I
may just have to report him to Principal Matthews.
Ethan shook his head. I dont think that will be necessary. Bens going to leave you alone from now
on. Because Ben understands that if he doesnt, a lot more than his job will be at stake.
Are you threatening me? Ben growled.
Ethan met his question with exaggerated shock. Threatening you? Of course not. Im simply
reassuring Emily, my girlfriend, that you wont be giving her any more problems.
Ethan dropped his arm from my shoulder and took three steps toward Ben, backing him into the wall
again. Bens entire body tensed and I wondered if he was about to wet his pants. Ethan put his good hand
against the wall and leaned into Ben, towering over him.
She isnt going to have any more problems with you, is she Ben? Ethan asked, his voice low.
Ben glared from me to Ethan before dropping his eyes to the floor.
No, he whispered.
Ethan lifted his other hand and cupped it behind his ear. What was that? I didnt quite hear you.
Ben cleared his voice and straightened his shoulders. No. Im not going to cause any more problems.
She isnt worth my time.
Ethan nodded and finally backed away. Im glad weve reached that understanding.
A rush of pride washed over me as Ethan wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me back
toward the auditorium.
Thanks for the rescue, I muttered under my breath.
If we were anywhere else, Id have knocked that bastards teeth in, he whispered as we stepped
back into the crowd. And I meant what I said. If that asshole bothers you again, Ill make sure he regrets
it for the rest of his life. Are you sure youre okay? He didnt hurt you? Where were the girls?
We eased against the back wall unnoticed, the crowds attention still on the rest of the team.
They went to the bathroom. Melissas probably touching up her makeup before her on camera stuff. I
had to drag Ben out before he made a scene, but Im fine. Im better than fine. Im sorry I was such a bitch
this morning. Thanks for having my back.
Ethan let out a soft sigh. Dont call yourself a bitch. Im the one who overreacted. Youve been
amazing these past few weeks, Em. You have every right to be upset at me for pushing myself when youre
the one who has to take care of me if I get hurt. I guess its just taking me a little time to adjust to having
someone to be accountable to. I promise to do better next time.
 Me too, I agreed, curling into his side. We held each other for a few long moments and Ethan
cleared his throat.
You know Bens full of shit, right? About the girls in every city, I mean. I know plenty of players like
that. But Im not one of them.
I never, for a second, thought you were, I assured him.
I love you, Emily, he whispered. This may not be the best place to say that for the first time. But I
cant not say it for a second longer. I have fallen completely, desperately in love with you.
I felt as if my heart would soar out of my chest. I opened my mouth to tell him I felt the same, and my
friends chose the exact wrong time to reappear.
Hey, Melissa beamed. Are they about to wrap up?
Ethan nodded at her with a reluctant smile. Yes. As soon as DAngelos finished speaking, well be
ready to move outside.
The playground had been transformed into a training field, and the players were going to teach the
kids some of their practice drills.
Why dont Ethan and I head out there and double check that everythings set up? I suggested.
Sounds good, Ethan agreed. Well see you two outside.
We slipped away from them before they had a chance to protest. Ethan turned down the hallway
toward the double glass doors, but I pulled him into the empty gymnasium and planted a firm, passionate
kiss on his lips. I pulled away and stared into his eyes.
I love you too.
 CHAPTER 6

These are fantastic seats, Claudia gushed. Ive always loved football, but Ive never been to a
professional game. I never imagined my first time would be in a VIP box on Thanksgiving!
This is quite the spread, Uncle Walt agreed, filling his plate with smoked salmon from the buffet
line.
I stood in front of the crepe station, waiting for my breakfast. We had half an hour until kick-off, and I
was anxious to get back to our box. I knew Victor and Martha were nearby, and the last thing my nerves
needed was a run in with Ethans disapproving parents.
I cant believe Melissa would rather be on the field, Linda commented. She covered her French
toast and sausage with a heavy layer of maple syrup and grabbed a handful of napkins.
Id trade places with her in a heartbeat, if I didnt prefer the company up here, Henry told her with a
love struck smile.
Everyone I care about is happy right now. Uncle Walt has finally found a wonderful woman. Linda
and Henry are on their way to happily ever after. Melissas career has finally taken the turn shes been
waiting for. God, please let us stay this way forever. And keep Ethan safe while hes on the field.
The chef topped my blueberry crepes with whipped crme and passed me the plate. I tossed on a few
slices of crisp bacon and glanced around the buffet line before leading everyone back to our box. We sank
down into the comfortable, overstuffed leather furniture while our private bartender took our drink orders.
Normally, Id never have alcohol so early in the day. But it was a holiday, and I needed something
stronger than food to calm my nerves. We all ordered blood orange mimosas and turned our attention to
the field.
Im sure Ethan will be just fine, Claudia assured me. His bones have healed. Hes a strong guy.
I hope so. My stomach twisted in anxiety.
The bartender passed out our drinks and we ate in silence until our plates were clean. A cocktail
waitress popped into the box and cleared our dishes just as the head announcer welcomed everyone to the
stadium. We moved to the stadium seats directly in front of our window and watched Ethan walk to the
middle of the field for the coin toss. He lost, and I prayed it wasnt an omen for the rest of the game. The
Stallions were playing Dallas, Ethans old team, and I knew hed take a loss as a personal failure.
My prayers were futile. The Dallas offense ran roughshod over the Stallions defensive line and
scored their first touchdown just three plays into the game. Their defense was even more formidable.
They held Ethan to just four yards before taking possession of the ball for the second time.
Im sure its just a rough start, Emily, Walt assured me. Ethan needs a few plays to get back in the
swing of things. Hell settle in and start kicking ass in no time.
Ethans next toss landed in the arms of a Dallas lineman, who turned around and ran in for a sixty-yard
touchdown.
 You were saying? I asked with a defeated sigh.
I signaled the bartender for a refill and asked him to keep them coming.
Remember what Melissa said theres no telling how many cameras are pointed at me right now. I
cant overreact to anything that happens on the field.
I straightened my shoulders and smoothed the front of my pink and silver Stallions jersey. The
bartender brought me my drink, and I watched the rest of the first half without really paying attention to
what was happening. When the teams filed off of the field, I finally glanced at the scoreboard. Dallas was
leading by three touchdowns.
Cheerleaders from both teams danced across the field and I rose to my feet. Im getting more food.
Does anyone want anything?
Id take one of those salt bagels with some lox and cream cheese, Walt called after me.
Ill come with you, Linda insisted and linked her arm through mine as we stepped into the vast
hallway. It sort of looked like you zoned out in there, she observed under her breath.
I feel stuck, I confessed. I know people are watching me watch Ethan. Im afraid to react to whats
happening on the field, so I stopped paying attention.
Its not that bad, Emily, she assured me. I mean, no one likes to lose. But its not the end of the
world.
To Ethan it is. The Stallions lost every game they played without him. He feels like their losing
streak is his fault and hes determined to turn the season around. I think he also feels the need to prove
himself to his old teammates. If they dont come back in the second half, Ethan will be devastated.
It wont be the first time hes lost a game, she reminded me. And lucky for him, he has a hot, sexy
girlfriend to make him feel better.
I blushed and turned my attention to the buffet line. While my uncles bagel toasted, I loaded my plate
with eggs Benedict and fresh fruit.
You really are nervous, Linda observed. Ive never seen you eat like this.
You should probably fix another plate too. Something tells me Thanksgiving at Ethans might be
canceled, I warned.
Linda took my advice and filled another plate. We returned to the box just as the halftime performance
was wrapping up.
Here you go, I sang, forcing myself to sound cheerful as I passed Uncle Walt his plate. I went
ahead and grabbed a little of everything, in case anyone else gets hungry during the second half. I pointed
to the overwhelming selection on the dish.
Good thinking ahead, kiddo, he replied. He popped a grape into his mouth and put an arm around
me. I was just telling Claudia that Im sure the team is going to come back strong in the second half.
I think we should stop talking before we put some sort of jinx on the rest of the game. I stared at my
plate, wondering if my stomach would protest more food.
Since when are you superstitious? he asked, an eyebrow cocked in curiosity.
Since Im going to have a city full of people insisting Im bad luck if this game doesnt end well, I
answered dryly.
Dont let the talk get to you, sweetheart. He squeezed my shoulder but didnt say another word
about the game.
 The second half wasnt as bad as the first; it was worse. Ethan threw interception after interception.
By the beginning of the fourth quarter, the announcers were wondering out loud if his concussion had
caused him to forget he no longer played for Dallas. The Stallions lost the game by their widest margin of
the season and trooped off the field in defeat.
Im sorry, sweetheart, Uncle Walt offered, his arm still around my shoulders.
I was crushed by the loss but relieved that the game was finally over. I took a deep breath and rose to
my feet.
Its okay. Like you said earlier, it will just take him some time to fall back into the swing of things.
Why dont you guys head home and relax for an hour or so, and then head to Ethans house? Im going to
try to slip into the locker room and make sure hes feeling okay.
Are you sure hell still be up for company? Claudia asked.
No, I confessed. But Im hoping for the best.
Just let us know, sweetheart. If Ethan needs some alone time, we can move dinner to my place,
Uncle Walt insisted.
Sure, I agreed and headed out of the box. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Ill talk to you soon.
I left the VIP box and rode an elevator down to the ground floor of the stadium. As Melissa had
predicted, most people in the crowd looked at me like a pariah. I drew stares, sneers, and even a few
verbal insults, but I didnt care. I needed to make sure Ethan was alright. I found Melissa a few feet away
from the locker room entrance.
Hey, Em. Rough game, huh? she greeted me with a frown.
Thats an understatement. Have you seen Ethan?
I think hes still out on the field talking to the national networks. He already gave me a soundbite. Im
waiting for Coach Shields, and then Im getting out of here. Do you think were still on for dinner?
You probably have a better idea about that than I do. Hows he taking this?
Hes pissed off, Melissa answered, her voice blunt.
Everyone else is going home. Ill see what Ethan wants to do and get back to you.
The coach emerged from the locker room with three assistants following at his heels. Alright,
Melissa. Lets get this over with. I have tapes to watch.
He continued down the hallway without slowing down and Melissa took off after him, waving
goodbye over her shoulder. I walked through the wide tunnel and out onto the field.
I spotted Ethan on the sidelines, just as Melissa told me I would. But he wasnt talking to any
reporters. From where I stood, it didnt look like he was doing much talking at all. Ethan sat on a white
plastic folding chair with a busty blonde Dallas cheerleader in his lap.
What the fuck is going on?
I stepped back into the darkness of the tunnel and kept my eyes on Ethan. From a distance, I could
make out that the woman was stroking his face. He kept shaking his head, but I couldnt see his expression
so I had no idea what was happening. I stood there watching them for what seemed like hours. Finally, the
blonde untangled herself from my boyfriend and returned to the rest of her squad. Ethan stood and started
to cross the field, and I stepped back out of the tunnel. Relief filled his face when he saw me.
Thank God. Seeing you is the only thing that could possibly make me feel better right now. He blew
out a breath and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. I played terrible. Im sorry you had to sit through
that. He kissed the top of my head, careful not to drip any sweat on me. He smelled like dirt, salt, and
fresh sod.
How are you feeling? I asked. Physically, I mean.
Im fine, he assured me. But Im ready to get the hell out of here. Just let me pop into the locker
room and pull off these pads. Ill shower at home. Did you tell everyone to just head to the house?
I wasnt sure if you were still in the mood for company, I explained, following him back down the
tunnel.
Its Thanksgiving. And its our first holiday together. I dont want a shitty game to ruin the rest of the
day. He kissed my forehead. I love you, Em. Wait here. Ill be right back.
He disappeared into the locker room and I slid down onto a bench. I sent a group text telling everyone
that dinner was still on, then pretended to be enthralled by my phone to avoid the stares of the fans around
me.
Ethan never mentioned being involved with one of the Dallas cheerleaders. But its not like I didnt
know what I was signing up for. What I almost walked up on had to have been innocent. Hes too at
ease to be up to something.
I realized that was the same lie I told myself when Ben started acting strange. But I also knew that
Ethan was nothing like Ben. We hadnt gone into much detail with each other when it came to our histories
with other people. But Ethan had acknowledged that hed taken advantage of no strings attached sex when
the opportunity presented itself. I wasnt a complete stranger to one-night stands, so I wasnt exactly in a
place to judge.
Maybe shes just an old friend. Maybe they used to hook up. All that matters is that Ethan and I are
together now. I know hes devastated. But hes setting his pain aside to make this a special holiday for
me. The least I can do is give him the benefit of the doubt with the blonde.
Ethan stepped out of the locker room in his game pants and a white sleeveless t-shirt. He held his gym
bag in one hand and reached for me with the other.
Ready to go home?
I nodded and stepped into his embrace. Yes. Lets go home.

***

Ethan did a fantastic job of pretending that nothing was wrong while my friends and family were over for
Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone silently agreed that wed had more than enough football for the day, so we
turned the television to a Friends marathon while we moved around the kitchen.
Ethans house still had its original floorplan, which was the opposite of open concept. Fortunately, the
kitchen had been made with a staff in mind, so there was plenty of room for a large table and a wall
mounted TV.
Id cheated and ordered the turkey from a local deli, but Melissa and I were making all of the sides
from scratch. Linda kept the cocktails flowing, and everyone relaxed, played cards, and studied the
renovation plans Ethan had finalized during his injury. Conversation flowed smoothly and before I
realized it, it was well past sundown. Linda and Henry left to get in line for the Black Friday sales;
everyone else slowly followed, finally leaving Ethan and me alone. Thats when I realized he wasnt as
okay as hed been letting on.
Im going to watch film, he told me, padding toward his office. Ill be at it all night. You may as
well just go home.
 Are you sure? I called after him. Like you said earlier, its our first holiday together.
Yes, he said, his back still turned to me. Its our first holiday together, and we spent it together.
And now I need to stay up all night to catch up on what I should have been focusing on all along. The team
is having a losing season. If we dont turn things around, the playoffs are out of the question. I dont mean
to be an asshole, Emily. But Ive really got to get some work done.
And you want me to leave? I pressed with a hurt frown.
No, I dont want you to leave. But right now, I cant afford the distraction of having you here.
Images of the blonde flashed through my head, but I decided not to confront him with my suspicions. I
wanted to learn more about her, about them, on my own before I asked him any questions.
Fine, Ill go. Linda and I have that early education workshop in Salem this weekend, I reminded
him. Were leaving late tomorrow night and well be home early Sunday. Ill call you when I get back to
town.
I wanted Ethan to argue and insist that we had to see each other before I left. But he didnt. Instead, he
gave me a quick, emotionless peck and told me to have a good time. I left the house feeling more defeated
than Ethan had looked after the game.
Ethans mood didnt seem to improve at all over the weekend. I texted him between classes and
seminars, and he always sent a quick, polite reply. But I felt a strange distance growing between us, and I
wasnt sure how to handle it. On Saturday night, I told Linda what Id seen after the Thanksgiving game.
She immediately packed our things, checked out of our hotel room, and drove me back to Portland. She
spent the trip alternating between assuring me that everything would be okay and vowing to castrate Ethan
if he turned out to be a cheater.
I spent the trip googling the cheerleader on my tablet. Her name was Susannah Cross. She was just
nineteen years old. Ethans last year with Dallas had been her first. Other than that, I wasnt really able to
find much information about her. When Linda pulled up outside my apartment, I was sure wed made a
huge mistake coming home early.
If I show up unannounced at Ethans, hell feel like I dont trust him, I insisted, my fingers twisting
in my lap.
Emily, I really doubt theres ever been anything between Ethan and Susannah, she assured me again.
I mean, hes ten years older than her. Its one thing to like your women young. But that young is just one
step above pedophile. I think theres something else behind Ethans attitude. And I think the sooner you
talk it out, the better.
Im sorry we had to cut the trip short. I know you were looking forward to our shopping day.
Dont worry about it. Henry will be thrilled to find out I didnt get a chance to spend any money. Go
talk to Ethan, Emily. And let me know how it goes.
Ill check in soon, I promised.
I climbed out of Lindas car, fetched my overnight bag from her trunk, and walked wearily up my
staircase. I dropped everything on my coffee table and sank down on my sofa with my phone.
Linda and I came home early. Feel like company?
Ethan replied within seconds.
Sure.
Well, he could have been a little more enthusiastic. But its better than I need to work.
I pulled my hair into a high bun, took a quick shower to rinse off from the drive, and threw on a
comfortable, Stallion blue sweat suit. I wasnt sure if Id be returning home that night or not, so I grabbed
my overnight bag again and left the apartment.
When I arrived at Ethans, I left the bag in my backseat and stepped tentatively to the front door. I rang
the bell and waited on the porch. A few moments later, Ethan appeared and ushered me into the house.
Baby, you dont have to ring the bell, he instructed. How was the conference? Why did you guys
come home early?
The conference was fine. We came home early because because
Id worked out a whole speech during my drive over. But in front of Ethan, words failed me. I was
terrified my suspicions were true.
Ethan lowered his voice and pulled me down beside him on the sofa. Emily, whats going on? Did
something happen in Salem? Holy fuck, did Ben corner you again?
No, I assured him, shaking my head. Ben hasnt so much as looked at me since the day of the
assembly. Linda and I came home early because I saw you and Susannah Cross together on Thanksgiving
and havent been able to get it off of my mind since.
Ethans face turned bright red and he sank back against the sofa. I wish youd have said something
Thursday. Susannah and I are just friends, Emily. Weve never been anything more. For Christs sake,
shes a child.
I turned toward him and twirled a stray strand of hair around my finger, doing my best to keep my
voice level. Thats what Ive been telling myself. But after everyone left Thursday night, you got so
distant, so cold. You literally shoved me out of the house without even a good kiss goodbye. You shut me
out, Ethan. What the hell was I supposed to think?
Ethan tensed his shoulders. You were supposed to believe me when I said I had a lot of work to do.
Look around, Emily. Does it look like Ive been having fun with a cheerleader all weekend?
I pulled my eyes off of him and surveyed the room. Two laptops sat on the coffee table, both with field
footage paused on the screens. The television on the wall was replaying a third game, and scraps of paper
with notes and diagrams cluttered the floor around us. Discarded sports bottles and fast food wrappers
put the final touch on the ambiance.
Every waking moment I havent been at practice, Ive been on this couch studying film for our
upcoming games. I lost focus while I was hurt, and Dallas snuck up on me. I wont let that happen again. I
cant afford to.
Football isnt everything, I reminded him impatiently and regretted the words immediately.
Dont you think I know that? he countered, his eyes narrowed, voice harsh. I wake up every day
knowing that Im one bad hit away from retirement. Thats why I finished college before going pro, and
why Ive invested more of my money than Ive spent. Football isnt everything, and its fleeting. But it
also happens to be what Im best at. Im capable of breaking every league record that exists for
quarterbacks, as long as I accept nothing less than perfection from myself.
And what am I supposed to do with myself while youre chasing your records and perfection? I
asked and took a deep breath. I want a partner, Ethan. I want to know that no matter what happens, we
always have each other at the end of the day. How am I supposed to feel like that if you shut me out when
things get tough? So you had a bad game. You need to focus on film. I understand all of that. But what I
dont understand is why you cant have me under the same roof. Did you ever stop to think that I might
want to help you? I dont know a ton about game strategy. But I could have at least made sure you had
something better than Taco Shack for dinner.
 Sad, frustrated tears fell from my eyes and Ethan met my gaze with a blend of awe and confusion.
Im so sorry, Emily. Youre absolutely right. I thought I was doing you a favor by asking you to leave.
I know I can be difficult to deal with sometimes. I was trying to spare you from my terrible mood. In my
defense, Ive never had someone who genuinely wanted to take care of me. I promise Ill never take that
for granted.
He leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek. Im so sorry, sweetheart. I wasnt trying to shut you
out. And if Id known you saw me with Susannah after the game, I would have explained the situation
immediately. I wish youd have said something about it on Thursday.
You did an excellent job of pretending everything was fine after the game. I didnt want to ruin the
rest of the day with accusations. I mean, it wasnt like I caught the two of you sucking face. Though she
did look way too comfortable in your lap.
Susannah is like a little sister to me, he explained. She went through a tough breakup with one of
my Dallas teammates last season, around the same time I was injured. We got to know each other pretty
well on the sidelines. When you saw us, we were getting caught up on each others new relationships.
When I realized how young she is, I knew it had to be innocent. But before then
You wondered if I was like Ben, he finished.
I nodded. Im sorry. Youre right, I should have said something on Thursday instead of letting it
fester.
Ethan held me in his arms and looked down at me, his eyes heavy and serious. Emily, I need you to
know that I would never hurt you like that. Im not Ben. Im not perfect, but I love you.
I love you too. I trust you, Ethan. But you cant shut me out when things get tough, I told him again.
You said you know football is fleeting and the reason you finished school before going pro and why you
invest your money. Youre planning for a future after your football career. Do you want me to be a part of
that future?
Of course I do, he answered immediately.
Then I need you to invest in us. I know youre busy. I know there will be days and weeks when we
dont get to spend much time together. But thats exactly why we have to take advantage of the time we do
have.
Ethan nodded and lowered his lips to mine. No more shutting you out. I promise. I would have loved
to have you here these past few days. To be honest, I was afraid Id sound like an ass if I asked you to stay
and take care of me. Think about it. Hey baby, how about you feed and clean up after me while I ignore
you and watch football tapes. You have to admit, it isnt the most romantic proposition.
Its not, I agreed, relief making me feel giddy. And dont get me wrong, I have no intentions of
becoming your personal caretaker. But when things are tough, Id rather be here helping however I can
than alone wondering if youre okay. And keep in mind, this street runs two ways. Youll get to return the
favor in the days leading up to parent-teacher conferences, field trips, and the entire last month of school,
I warned with a grin.
Give and take, huh? Ethan countered with a smile of his own. I think I can handle that. Now that
weve sorted all of this out, why dont we take advantage of our time like you suggested earlier?
He gave me a sexy grin and pulled me back into his arms. He rose to his feet, carrying me toward the
veranda instead of the bedroom.
Where are we going?
 He nuzzled his lips against my cheek. I have a surprise for you.
I wrapped my arms around Ethans neck while he fumbled with the doorknob. He carried me outside
and I heard a strange hum from the direction of the pool. I turned toward the noise and saw a brand new
spa.
When did this happen? I asked.
I had the hole dug last week while you were at school. The crew came out and buried the tub on
Friday, and the concrete just set this morning. I was waiting for you to try it out for the first time.
I dont have a suit, I argued mindlessly.
Ethan laughed and set me on my feet. For what I have in mind, you dont need one.
Desire spiraled its way through me. Right. I unzipped the hoodie of my sweat suit and pushed it
down my arms. Ethan kicked off his shorts and eased into the hot tub, his eyes locked on me as I stripped
out of the rest of my clothes. The chill in the air was no damper for the burning desire growing in my
body. I stepped across the patio and joined Ethan, who pulled me into his lap beneath the bubbling water.
His stiff cock rested against my back and he lifted both hands to my breasts. When he dropped his lips to
the back of my neck, I let out a long sigh of pleasure.
I missed you, he groaned into my ear.
I missed you too, I mumbled in agreement.
Ethan dropped one hand beneath the water and gently stroked my magic button. I let my legs fall open,
aching to be filled. He obliged, pushing two fingers inside me. I arched my back against his chest, rocking
my ass cheeks against his cock as his fingers moved deeper.
I want you, I moaned desperately. I want you inside me.
All in good time, baby, he teased, stroking me harder.
I covered his hand with mine and closed my legs around his touch. His fingers twisted and turned,
finally falling on my G-spot. He held hard, almost painful pressure and I lost all control of my body as the
orgasm overpowered me. Water splashed into my eyes and mouth as I flailed in wild passion. Ethan
laughed and slowed his hand, pulling me tightly against his chest.
Are you okay? he gasped, holding me above the water. I didnt consider this might be a drowning
hazard.
Very funny, I replied through struggled breaths. Was I really that bad?
Baby, that was the opposite of bad, he teased. But yeah, for a second there I thought you were
about to push us both under.
I turned in his lap, positioning myself just above his cock. I dropped my head to his neck and covered
it with long, lustful kisses. Then, I moved my lips to his, barely brushing them together.
I guess youll have to keep better control of me this time, I teased, letting the tip of his cock slide
inside me. I held myself there for a moment until I couldnt take it anymore. I let myself fall, taking in
every inch of him.
Youre so tight and hot, Ethan groaned, gripping my ass with both hands.
I cant get enough of you, I said against his lips, rising and falling as fast as my legs would lift me.
Before long, I was sweating and light headed, but I had no intentions of stopping. Ethan was exactly
where I wanted him. I didnt care if the hot water made me pass out, as long as we stayed connected. My
body started to tingle from a blend of lust and exhaustion, and Ethan suddenly pushed me out of his lap.
Its sweltering in here, he said, brushing sweat from his brow with one arm. He climbed out of the
hot tub, grabbed a nearby towel, and helped me out of the spa. He wrapped me in the soft cotton, picked
me up, and set off for the house.
I liked my surprise, I cooed, nuzzling my lips into his neck.
Im glad. But I started to think we were both going to pass out, he explained with a laugh.
He stumbled into the bedroom and dropped me on the mattress. I threw off the towel and wiggled to
the head of the bed. Ethan crawled in front of me, pushed my legs open, and buried his tongue inside me.
He licked and teased, sucking my clit roughly before pulling away again and driving his cock into me.
Oh, Ethan, I groaned, biting my lip to keep from crying out louder. Give it to me.
He thrust his hips harder, sliding all but the head of his cock out of me before impaling me again. He
lowered his lips, biting and teasing my collarbone between long, passionate kisses. I felt his cock
tremble, and he slipped out of me again.
I want to make this last, he explained, collapsing onto his back. I rolled over and climbed on top of
him, letting his cock rest against my thigh.
We can make it last as long as you want, I agreed. I stroked his face, tracing the outline of his lips
with my thumb. He shifted his legs, angling his cock at my waiting tunnel. I backed into him slowly, taking
in the full length of his shaft before stilling my hips. I let my body fall against Ethans chest and he stroked
my back with a light, teasing touch. I clenched and released my pussy in rhythm with Ethans breaths.
That feels so good, he said, rocking into me roughly and then going still again.
I nodded and pushed myself off his chest, swiveling my hips in soft circles. Ethan grabbed my ass
again, lifting his mouth to my breasts. He bit and sucked my nipples in turn as I rode him, harder and faster
with each thrust of his hips. He slapped my ass roughly and the surprise shock of pain was all I needed to
reach my second release. I gushed with satisfaction and Ethan thrust into me harder.
Turn around, he said.
I obeyed, spinning on his cock without releasing it. He rose to his knees, pushing me onto all fours. I
bucked back against him as he drilled into me and soon, he let out a loud, cat-like growl and spilled his
seed inside me. We collapsed together on the bed, our bodies spent with exhaustion. After a while, our
breaths evened and Ethan pulled me into his arms.
We smell like chlorine, he observed with a light laugh.
I nodded. And sweat. You were right, the spa was too hot.
In retrospect, that wasnt a well thought out plan. Believe me, I intend to do much better next time.
I think we did it pretty good this time, I teased.
He laughed and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I really did miss you, Em. Im glad you came home
from Salem early. Now, why dont you let me take you to the shower and wash this terrible bleach smell
away?
I met his eyes and gave him a cocky smile. Only if I get to have my way with you again.
He laughed and set off for the bathroom. I think that can be arranged.
 CHAPTER 7

A few weeks later, I sat at my desk and stared out at my empty classroom. My kids were at their weekly
music class, giving me my first moment of silence for what seemed like ages.
The Stallions losing streak was blissfully short. The week after they lost to Dallas, they slaughtered
Philadelphia. Ethan became even more focused on studying film and tracking the patterns of his
opponents plays, and I did my best to give him the space he needed to concentrate.
Like Uncle Walt had predicted, I spent less and less time at my place. To me, home had become
wherever Ethan was. He made me happier than I ever imagined possible, and I found myself longing to be
able to travel with him to away games. I settled for knowing wed have plenty of time to travel together
during my Christmas vacation.
With the break quickly approaching, I was overwhelmed with extra responsibilities at school. It was
my turn to organize the annual holiday program, and I was swarmed with well-intentioned parents who
were determined to put their own stamp on the show. We had a record number of volunteers and the
reason for so many became apparent during our first planning meeting. Since I was in charge of the
program, the parents expected Ethan to play some sort of role. I promised hed be at the actual
performance, which set off a frenzy of who could outdo who on food, set design, and costumes. I felt a
little guilty for using my relationship to my advantage, but it was nice to have so much help.
Knock, knock. Linda stepped through my open door carrying two cups of coffee. She set one on my
desk and sat down on my long art table.
I thought you could use a pick me up, she explained. How are you holding up? I know things have
been hectic.
Ive been running around like a headless chicken, I agreed. I took a long sip of the hot coffee and set
the cardboard mug back on my desk. This helps, though. Where are your kids?
With Ben, she explained, rolling her eyes. Hes started sending his aide down for my class too. I
still think it was a mistake not to report him for that shit he pulled during the assembly.
To be honest, I couldnt care less. Hes left me alone. Hes too scared of Ethan to corner me like that
again.
Her grin held some heat in it. Im sure he is. But Id still be happier if his smug, lying ass was fired. I
think it would change the whole tone of the school, to be honest. And if Matthews knew hes been
screwing the kids moms
Moms? As in plural? I asked, raising a curious eyebrow. Do you know something I dont?
I heard hes been messing around with Mrs. Phillips, she confided. You know Mr. Phillips is
always traveling with his job. Word is that Bens been taking advantage of his absence.
He really is a sleazy bastard, I said, cringing. I cant believe I ever let him touch me. How was I
the only one who couldnt see through him?
 Dont beat yourself up, Emily. I didnt realize he was an asshole. I just thought he was boring, she
reminded me.
It doesnt matter anymore. Im glad I caught him cheating on me. If I hadnt, Id still be lying to
myself.
And if youd never dated Ben, you might not be with Ethan, she pointed out. Thats how you have
to look at things. If Im not careful, I start beating myself up for leaving Henry all of those years ago. I
think of all the time we wasted apart. But then, I remind myself that what I learned while we were apart is
why we work this time. Its all in how you look at it, Em.
I know, I agreed. Im just happy I dont have to look at Ben at all. And speaking of Ethan, hes
playing in New York on New Years Day. Were going to fly out a few days before and have a little mini
vacation. Would you and Henry like to join us?
She shook her head. Id love to. But I promised Henry wed spend the holidays back in Atlanta with
his family. Maybe next time?
Definitely, I agreed.
A knock echoed through the room and we looked at the door.
Good morning, Mrs. Carver. Can I help you with something? I greeted one of my students mothers.
My question was pointless; the woman had a balloon bouquet in one hand and a giant bakery box in the
other.
Today is Finns birthday, she explained with a sheepish blush. I spoke with Mary this morning and
she said it would be okay for me to bring a few treats for the kids. I was hoping to pass out the cupcakes
myself. Will the children be back soon?
Yes, I assured her. Theyre in art class at the moment. But I was just about to go get them. Why
dont you set things up here?
She thanked me, nodded, and started pulling birthday hats and colorful plates out of her huge tote bag.
Did Mary happen to mention which one of Finns classmates has severe food allergies? I asked,
moving to the door.
Oh, shoot. I knew I forgot something. Im so sorry but thats no reason for all of the other kids to
miss out, right? she asked hopefully.
Its fine, I assured her. I have allergy friendly snacks in my desk. Ill be back in just a few minutes,
Mrs. Carver.
Linda followed me into the hall. Are you sure its a good idea to leave her in there alone? she
asked.
Whats she going to do, steal my dry erase markers? I asked with a laugh. Im not worried about
Mrs. Carver. Besides, someone must be looking out for me. Ive forgotten to lock my door twice this
week, but nothings turned up missing.
Thats not like you. She frowned, shaking her head.
Like I said, Ive been busy, I replied with a shrug. Things will calm down after the first of the year.
Ill be able to relax and get into a real routine at Ethans.
So youre just moving in with him, then? Are you sure thats a good idea?
You sound like my uncle, I replied with a laugh. We slowed to a stop outside the art room and I
turned to her with an impatient smile.
To be honest, all Im sure of at the moment is that Im in no mood to corral a room full of sugared up
kids. But I dont have a choice about that at the moment, so Id like to just get it over with. Can we discuss
the wisdom of my relationship choices later? Maybe over a drink?
Sure, she agreed with an understanding nod. Sorry about the cupcakes. Good call on keeping things
on hand for Alfie, by the way. Im going to do that for his sister.
I nodded and knocked on the classroom door as Linda turned toward the break room. I led my students
in a single file back to the classroom and made them all sit at their own desks before Mrs. Carver passed
out the cupcakes and juice boxes. I passed Alfie a bag of allergy friendly trail mix. I returned to my desk
and noticed the blue message light flashing on my phone. I swiped the screen and read Ethans text.
Dont panic, but call me ASAP.
I glanced out at the kids, who were all happily devouring their unexpected treats. Mrs. Carver moved
about the room passing out napkins and making sure everyone was settled. I decided I could spare a few
minutes to make sure Ethan was okay and turned my back to the class as I hit his speed dial.
I wasnt expecting to hear from you so soon. I told you not to panic, he teased.
And I didnt. You said ASAP. This was ASAP. Whats going on?
I have terrible news, he warned.
The breath caught in my lungs. Just tell me.
I just got off the phone with my mother. Victors getting overwhelmed with questions about you and
hes tired of not knowing how to answer. Theyve invited us to dinner Friday night, so they can get to
know you better.
Thats far from a disaster, I replied with a light laugh of relief.
Its closer than youd like to imagine, he countered gravely.
I was about to reply when chaos broke out in my room. The kids erupted with gasps and screams of
panic and a weird thumping noise sent my heart racing. Ethan could hear the commotion on his side of the
call.
Emily, whats going on?
I turned back to the class, horrified by the scene before me. All of my students were in hysterical sobs,
save Alfie Hollis. He appeared to be having a grand mal seizure in the middle of the room, while Mrs.
Carver looked on, paralyzed in horror.
I have to go, I told Ethan. I tossed my phone on the desk and rushed to little Alfie. His body stilled,
but I realized hives were breaking out across his body. By the time I retrieved his Epi-pen and returned to
him, his breaths were coming in short, wheezing spurts. I gave him his shot and pulled him into my lap.
Mrs. Carver, I need you to get the nurse right away. Her office is beside Principal Matthews. Call
911 on your way and tell them that we have a five-year-old boy whos had a severe allergic reaction.
The traumatized mother nodded at me and took her son out of the room with her. I did my best to calm
the other children while trying to understand what happened.
Boys and girls, I know this is scary. But we talked about this on our first day of class, remember?
Sometimes, things Alfie eats make him sick. But Ive given him his special medicine, and Nurse Birling is
going to make sure hes okay. Now, I need to know if anyone gave Alfie a bite of their cupcake.
The kids all shook their heads. Some muttered, No, Miss Kinkaid, while others were still too busy
crying to form words.
How the hell did this happen?
 Nurse Birling rushed into the room with Principal Matthews and Mary, the school secretary.
What happened, Emily? the principal asked.
Im not sure. Mrs. Carver brought in cupcakes. I gave Alfie a bag of trail mix thats safe for him to
eat, but I guess he gave in to the urge to taste what the other kids were eating. Where is Mrs. Carver?
She told us what happened and then checked Finn out for the rest of the day, Mary explained. I
called an ambulance, then Mrs. Hollis. Alfies parents are going to meet him at the hospital.
Nurse Birling took Alfies vital signs and stared up at me with a frown.
How much time passed between the start of the reaction and Alfie getting his shot?
Im not sure, I confessed, my face flushing hot, and my fingers trembling as I pressed them to my
throbbing temples.
Less than a minute passed between when I realized what was happening and when I gave him the
shot. But how long was he in trouble before anyone noticed? Why the hell didnt I wait to check in with
Ethan? Please God, dont let this little boy suffer for my mistake.
What do you mean youre not sure? Principal Matthews pressed, a hint of accusation in his voice.
I mean everything happened so fast. Its not like I hit a stopwatch. But Id say it was less than sixty
seconds.
Three paramedics bustled into the room and the kids started crying again.
Mary, why dont you take the class to the auditorium? Nurse Birling suggested. Theyve seen more
than they should have as it is.
Of course, Mary agreed.
I helped her lead the kids to the auditorium and promised them all Id be back soon with good news
about Alfie. I raced back to my classroom, where the medics were loading him onto a stretcher.
Where are you taking him? I demanded.
Childrens Presbyterian, one of the men answered. His father called dispatch and requested it. I
need to take in samples of everything he ate.
Why is that necessary? I asked. We know hes allergic to dairy, and those cupcakes were covered
with whipped cream.
Nurse Birling cleared her throat. Alfie came to for a minute while you were gone. He said he didnt
eat anything but the special treat you gave him.
People develop new allergies every day, another medic explained. My wife and I used the same
laundry soap for nearly a decade, and then a month ago it started giving her a rash. Its just one of those
things that happens.
I nodded and retrieved the half eaten snack from Alfies desk. This is what I gave him. I think there
are a few untouched cupcakes left in that box. Just take the whole thing.
He nodded and grabbed the box on his way out the door. I squeezed Alfies hand and promised to visit
him soon before the other two medics wheeled him out of the room.
Im going to get back to the kids, I announced, my hands still shaking. Theyre so terrified. I need
to tell them that Alfies going to be okay.
Principal Matthews stepped into my path. Mary has already called a substitute, he informed me.
Im sorry, Emily. Im sure this incident wasnt your fault, and as soon as the tests come back well find
out Alfies developed a new allergy. But until then, we have to follow protocols. We have to go back to
my office and work through an incredibly thick stack of paperwork. And after that, I have no choice but to
put you on paid suspension until were cleared by the school counsel.
Youre kidding me? I asked in disbelief, feeling lightheaded. How long will that take?
It depends on how long the hospital takes with the lab work. I know this is hard news to absorb,
especially after such a traumatic incident. But if everything happened the way you described, you wont
be held at fault.
I cleared my throat and pushed my shoulders back. Can I visit the hospital and check on Alfie?
I dont have a problem with that, as long as the Hollis family agrees.
I nodded and gathered my things from my desk. Linda stuck her head into the room and surveyed the
remnants of the chaos.
I just heard. Amaya Holliss uncle picked her up to take her to her family. Is there anything I can do?
I have to go on paid suspension, pending an inquiry into what just happened. Can you keep an eye on
my kids and make sure they transition okay to the sub?
Of course. Are you okay, Em?
Im fine, I assured her but wasnt even sure myself. This is just a formality, Linda.
Principal Matthews nodded in agreement.
Okay is there anything else I can do?
Yes. Call Ethan and tell him what happened. Ask him to send the best pediatric allergist he can find
to Childrens Presbyterian. And tell him Ill be home as soon as Im finished with Principal Matthews.
It will probably be a few hours, Matthews warned.
Ill let him know, Linda promised. And Ill call you later.
She returned to her class and I stepped into the hallway with no idea if and when Id see my
classroom again.

***

Ethan looked up from a skillet of bacon as I padded barefoot into the kitchen.
Good morning, sweetheart. How did you sleep?
Okay, I guess, I replied with a yawn. Once I finally got to sleep, that is. I laid awake half the night
thinking about that poor little boy lying there helpless. If he doesnt pull through this
Stop, Ethan insisted. Linda called an hour ago. Alfies oxygen stats stabilized overnight. Hes
breathing all on his own, hes alert, and there are no signs that the reaction did any lasting damage.
I let out an enormous sigh of relief and nearly crumpled to the floor. Thank God. Have they figured
out what triggered it?
He shook his head. Not yet, but theyre expecting the lab results in this afternoon. Would you like to
hear the really good news?
It gets better?
He nodded. The Hollis family says youre welcome to visit.
A rush of gratitude filled my body. Now we just have to wait for the school council to clear me. But
if the lab results are due today, I may be able to go back to work tomorrow.
Im so sorry you had to go through this, Emily. But everythings going to be okay.
 Thank you, baby.
Dont thank me. Claudias the one who saved the day.
I nodded. I cant believe I forgot this was one of her specialties. Im going to have to take her out to
lunch and thank her for pushing the lab work through so fast.
I think we can do better than lunch, Ethan suggested with a grin. But well figure all of that out
later. The Holliss are expecting us in about an hour. That gives you just enough time to go get dressed and
have a quick breakfast before we need to leave.
Youre coming with me? Dont you have practice?
I called Coach and told him Id be late. I thought a visit from his favorite quarterback might make
Alfie feel a little better.
I gave him a teasing smile. Alfies family is from Florida. He wears a Rod Sherman jersey on free
dress days. But Im sure hed appreciate a visit from you all the same.
Ethan laughed and gave me a playful wink. Ill have him converted to a Stallions fan before the visit
is over.
I gave him a quick hug and kissed the side of his face. Seriously baby, thank you for coming with me.
It means more than you know.
Im happy to do it.
An hour later, Ethan and I walked into the hospital hand in hand. We rode an elevator to the eleventh
floor, where a distracted nurse directed us to Alfies room without looking up from her tablet. When we
approached his door, a uniformed security guard stepped into our path.
Im sorry, but the family has requested that no visitors be allowed in Alfies room, he explained.
What? There must be some sort of mistake. Im Emily Kinkaid, Alfies teacher. The Holliss are
expecting us.
Im sorry, maam. I know who you are. And Im not allowed to let you into the room.
Ethan put a comforting hand on my shoulder. Can we speak with Mr. or Mrs. Hollis? Or perhaps Dr.
Verner?
The family and the doctor are in a meeting at the moment, the officer replied. Ive been instructed
to ask you to wait in
There she is, a voice screamed from the opposite hall. I turned to see Alfies mother charging at me.
We trusted you with our child, you miserable bitch. I cant believe you did this. What kind of person
does something like this?
I was at a complete loss for words. I loved my students. Id have jumped in front of a bus to protect
any of them. Id certainly never hurt them. I had no idea what Mrs. Hollis was talking about and turned to
Claudia with wide eyes. A man I didnt recognize stood next to her, glaring at me with absolute disgust.
Im sorry, Emily. We just got the lab work back. The results the results show inconsistencies with
your story.
Ethan cleared his throat. What sort of inconsistencies?
She knows, Mrs. Hollis growled. She knows exactly what she did.
I didnt do anything, I stammered. I gave him his shot I did what I was supposed to do.
Mr. Hollis was much calmer than his wife, but his rage burned just as hot. He turned his nose up at me
and pulled his wife toward Alfies door.
 Come on, sweetheart. She isnt worth our time. The police will deal with her. Our focus needs to be
on the kids.
Police? What the fuck do they think I did? What the hell is happening?
Claudia cleared her throat and looked nervously toward the stranger.
Go ahead, he prompted. Tell her what you found.
Claudia cringed and hesitated for a moment before continuing. Emily, I ran a full allergy prick test on
Alfie last night. We didnt find anything new.
You said the results just came in, Ethan interrupted.
The results on the food samples just came in, she corrected him. The trail mix was coated with
powdered milk.
I shook my head and leaned back against the wall. No. Thats not possible. If thats what happened,
its the manufacturers fault. I bought a whole case of that trail mix at Valley Health. Alfie never had a
reaction to it before. And the package was sealed when I gave it to him.
The man cleared his throat. We have ample evidence that the packaging was tampered with.
Who are you? Ethan growled.
Im Detective Dickson. Im here to take your pretty little girlfriend to jail. Miss Kinkaid, will you
please put your hands behind your back?
No, youre not taking her. Emily didnt do this, Ethan insisted.
Emily, Im so sorry. I had to follow protocol and alert the police. The moment you leave, Ill call
your uncle, Claudia promised. I know you didnt do this, sweetheart. Something else is going on here
and well get to the bottom of it.
My entire body felt numb. I did as Detective Dickson instructed and felt the cold metal cuffs close
over my wrists.
I didnt do anything, I said again, tears falling from my eyes.
Youre not walking her out of here like a criminal, Ethan insisted. I wont have it. The hospital has
a back entrance.
Ill walk her out of whichever exit I damn well please, Dickson replied, apparently resentful that
Ethan was trying to control the situation.
Emily Kinkaid, youre under arrest for child endangerment and attempted murder. You have the right
to remain silent. If you waive that right, anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You
have the right to an attorney. If you cant afford an attorney, the court will appoint one at no cost. Do you
understand these rights as Ive explained them?
I nodded my head, unable to wipe the tears flowing freely down my face. Ethan brushed them away
with his thumb and looked into my eyes.
I dont understand whats happening, I sobbed. I didnt do anything. You have to believe me, Ethan.
Why dont they believe me?
Shh I know youd never hurt anyone, he assured me, his voice low and soothing. I need you to
listen to me, Emily. Detective Dickson is going to take you to the station and book you on these charges.
Theyre going to put you in a room, say terrible things to you, and ask you lots of questions. No matter
what they say, you have to stay quiet. I dont want you to utter so much as a yes or a no. Im going to
follow in my car, and Ill have my lawyer at the station as soon as I can. His name is Noel Baxter. Not a
word to anyone until he joins you. Do you understand?
 I swallowed back another sob and nodded as Detective Dickson led me away.

***

The short walk from the hospital to Detective Dicksons unmarked sedan was the longest thirty seconds of
my life. The press had somehow gotten wind of Ethans visit to the hospital, and a group of them had
gathered outside. They swarmed us, firing questions so quickly that their words muffled each other out. I
kept my head high. Ethan had warned me not to speak to anyone, so I gave them my best innocent,
confused smile but remained silent.
Dickson peppered me with questions as he navigated to the police station. He reminded me that I
hadnt caused any lasting damage and promised to petition the judge for leniency if I confessed and agreed
to check myself into a psychiatric facility. I stayed silent for the entire trip, save one hostile snort that
slipped out after he mentioned the mental hospital. My confusion and numbness wore off, turning to white
hot anger. I had no idea whod tampered with the trail mix, but I knew I was innocent. Someone set me up,
and theyd endangered one of my students to do it. I resented the fact that I was the one being charged
while, for all we knew, the real culprit was planning his next attack.
The booking process was relatively straight forward, much like youd see on any reality cop show. A
female officer searched me, then took my picture and scanned my fingerprints into a computer. She left my
hands uncuffed and led me to a small interrogation room.
Detective Dickson will be in shortly, she advised, turning back for the door.
Im not speaking to anyone until my lawyer is here, I replied. I felt much more comfortable asserting
myself with her than the broody, formidable detective.
Thats a great idea, she agreed, giving an ever so slight smile before slipping back into the hallway.
She either senses Im innocent, or she recognizes me because of Ethan.
The room didnt have one of those creepy two-way mirrors, but I still had the eerie sense that I was
being watched. Id watched enough episodes of True Crime to know that there was probably a
surveillance camera pointed at me and felt pressured to act appropriately. But I had no idea what an
appropriate reaction to the situation would look like. I ended up having plenty of time to practice. The
female officer checked on me periodically, but five hours passed before anyone else stepped into the
room. Finally, Detective Dickson returned holding a set of handcuffs.
What the fuck is going on?
I was convinced that the cuffs meant no one was coming for me, and that Id have to spend the night in
lockup. The detective met the fear on my face with a sneer.
Dont worry. Unfortunately, Im not moving you to a cell just yet. Your fancy lawyer pulled some
strings and got a judge to agree to arraign you this afternoon. Regardless of the outcome, youll be coming
back here after. I still have a lot of questions.
I nodded, but still didnt speak.
Youre taking your right to remain silent incredibly literally, he observed, leading me back to the
parking garage.
I nodded again and cleared my throat. I dont mean to be uncooperative, I explained. Ill answer
anything you ask once my lawyer is here.
He opened the back door of his sedan and I slid across the cheaply upholstered seat. He sank behind
the steering wheel and drove to the courthouse without any further comment.
 Id hoped to have a moment alone with my new attorney before the hearing, but the judge was ready to
leave for the day so there wasnt any time. Detective Dickson handed me off to a bailiff, who walked me
to the defense table and took off my handcuffs. A tall, broad man with salt and pepper hair greeted me
with a smile and a handshake.
Miss Kinkaid, Im Frank Upton. Im sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. Well have
plenty of time to talk after the hearing.
Its nice to meet you, Frank. Thank you for getting the arraignment scheduled so quickly. Do you think
Ill be able to go home tonight?
Thats the plan, he replied.
I felt a firm hand on my shoulder and turned to find my uncles soft, concerned eyes.
Hey, kiddo. How are you holding up? I got here as soon as I could. Claudias parking the car, I didnt
want to miss anything.
I cant believe this is happening, I confessed. The corners of my mouth twitched as I tried to hold
back frustrated tears.
I know but were going to get through it, he promised.
I nodded, wiped my face with my palms, and turned back to Frank. Wheres Ethan? I asked with a
sniffle.
A look of confusion spread across his face, but before he could reply, the bailiff called the court to
order. A man who didnt look much older than me settled in behind the bench and reviewed the charges
against me. I pled not guilty and Frank petitioned for bail.
Your Honor, the state objects to any bail for Miss Kinkaid pending a psychological evaluation. A
young child nearly lost his life. I think we can all agree that its best to err on the side of caution, the
prosecutor insisted.
My client has strong ties to this community, Frank argued. Shes a well-respected teacher with no
criminal history or past mental health issues. The states case is circumstantial. The police havent even
finished reviewing video surveillance from the schools security system. Miss Kinkaids arrest is a rush
to judgment, Your Honor.
The judge narrowed his eyes and studied me for a few tense moments before turning to the prosecutor.
Mr. Nelson, Im approving the defenses motion for bail. I suggest that in the future, you bring solid
evidence into my courtroom. Im scheduling a pretrial hearing for January thirtieth. Miss Kinkaid, Im not
going to put a monitor on you. But Im also not going to mince words. I know youre involved with a man
who has ample resources to help you disappear. If you so much as step one foot out of this county, I will
revoke your bail and youll wait for your day in court behind bars. Do you understand?
I cleared my throat and nodded politely. Yes, Your Honor. I assure you I have no interest in leaving
town. Im innocent of these charges and eager to clear my name.
Bail is set at half a million dollars, he declared, slamming his gavel onto the desk. Court is
adjourned.
We all rose to our feet as Judge Shaw stepped off of the bench and through a large oak door. The room
relaxed and I turned to face my uncle. At some point during the hearing, Ethan and Claudia had joined
him. I wasnt sure who to hug first, but Ethan took a step back and let Walt have the honor. My uncle
wrapped me in a bear hug and extended one hand to Frank.
Thank you so much, man. I owe you one.
 Im happy to help, the lawyer replied. Next time we take the ladies out, Ill let you pay for dinner.
You arranged for Frank to represent me? I asked, pulling away. When I left the hospital, I assumed
Ethan would call one of his family attorneys, the Noel man hed mentioned. It never crossed my mind that
Walt might know someone who could help.
Yes, Claudia went to school with Franks wife, Deborah. We all get together from time to time, Walt
explained.
I gave Claudia a quick hug and then fell into Ethans arms. He held me close and kissed the top of my
head. Im so sorry, baby. I
You have nothing to be sorry for, I insisted. The only person who should be apologizing is the
monster who really attacked Alfie. I want to know what we do next. How do we prove that Im innocent
and, more importantly, figure out who isnt?
There are many steps. But unfortunately, before we discuss them, you and I have to go back to the
police station. Detective Dickson wasnt too happy to have his interrogation delayed by this hearing,
Frank warned.
Lets get it over with, I agreed. I have nothing to hide. I want to cooperate with the police as much
as possible so theyll stop wasting their time with me and look for the real culprit.
Well come to the station and wait to drive you home, Walt offered.
I shook my head. Theres no sense in all of us being stuck there. I can take a taxi home.
I can drive you, Frank piped in. Well need to talk strategy after were finished with the cops.
Ethan cleared his throat. Walt, Claudia, youre welcome to wait at my house. We can set up a
command center of sorts for the case. And that way, Emily will only have to recount the interrogation
once.
Thats an excellent idea, Ethan. Thank you, Claudia accepted with an appreciative smile. Walt
didnt seem as sold on the idea.
I think I should be at the station, he insisted.
I wont let anything happen to her, Walt, Frank promised, his voice full of patience. I see this a lot
with parents. Things like this happen and you feel helpless to do anything about it. But you did the best
thing you could have: you called me. Ive got it from here, I promise.
If anything unexpected happens, youll call me, right? Walt pressed.
Of course I will, Frank agreed.
Is there anything special youd like for dinner, Emily? Claudia asked, leading the conversation in a
more lighthearted direction.
I shook my head. Surprise me.
We really do need to be getting to the station, Frank pressed.
Ethan kissed the top of my head again and made me promise to call if I needed anything. I hugged
Claudia and Walt, then left through the side exit with Frank.
Tell me the truth. How bad is this? I asked once we were alone. Our footsteps echoed down the
marble hallway and a slight chill filled the air.
Ive seen worse. But Ive seen a lot better. This is a circumstantial case, Emily. And an emotional
one, considering the circumstances. A defenseless child was intentionally hurt. The natural human reaction
is to demand someone pay for that. The obvious blame falls on you, since the child was in your care. I
have to warn you that even if we prove your innocence, youre likely to still be judged in the court of
public opinion.
I know, I agreed, covering my mouth to muffle the sob that wanted to escape. How far has the news
spread?
The story was already trending online before I took the case. Most of the major national networks,
news and sports have already run segments, he replied matter of factly.
So even if I somehow manage to keep my teaching license, Im basically unemployable?
Damn it. I love Ethan. But there are definitely disadvantages to living in the spotlight.
Well cross that bridge when we come to it, Emily. For now, lets just concentrate on the task at
hand.
We stepped into the parking lot and I was relieved to find it photographer free. Frank ushered me into
a black Cadillac SUV and turned toward the police station.
What did you tell the cops while you were in custody? he asked.
I said I would cooperate fully, but not until my attorney was present.
Thats it? he asked with a raised eyebrow. No professions of innocence or polite small talk that
could possibly be misconstrued?
A female officer offered me coffee a couple of times. I said no. Thats the extent of it. It was hard to
keep my mouth shut, I confessed. Especially when Detective Dickson started suggesting that Im some
sort of psychopath. But I kept my cool.
I wish all my clients had your restraint. You did exactly what you were supposed to do, Emily. When
we sit down with Dickson, just follow my lead. I promise to get to the bottom of this as quickly as
possible so you can get back to your life.
 CHAPTER 8

Miss Kinkaid, Mr. Upton, thank you for coming back this evening, Detective Dickson greeted us as he
stepped into a larger interrogation room. This one had the two-way mirror and I couldnt help but wonder
how many people were watching us.
We have every intention of cooperating with this investigation, Frank replied, shaking the
detectives hand. Please dont take Miss Kinkaids earlier silence personally. She was instructed not to
speak to anyone until I was here.
Youll be happy to know she barely uttered a word, he said, his lip curling in disgust. This is my
colleague, Detective Masterson.
A short, pale man with curly red hair stepped into the room behind Dickson, filling the room with the
sickly sweet aroma of chewing tobacco.
Detective, Frank greeted him with a nod.
Masterson glared back at him, not offering a handshake as his partner had.
Shit. If Dickson is the good cop, were in for a long night.
Masterson leaned against the wall while Dickson leaned back in the chair across from us. He kept his
tone casual and started the interrogation.
Miss Kinkaid, can you tell me when and where you purchased the trail mix you gave to Alfie
Hollis?
I bought it at Valley Health on Cross Avenue. Im not sure of the exact date, but it was sometime in
August. If I looked at my calendar, I could narrow it down. But its in my classroom and Im not allowed
on school grounds.
Ill arrange to have your things picked up tomorrow, Frank promised.
Did you buy anything else that day? Dickson pressed.
Yes, I did. The Hollis family provided us with a list of foods the kids were allowed to eat. We
provided all of the other parents with the list in a notice we sent home explaining the Hollis twins
situation. I wanted to have plenty of allergy-friendly snacks on hand, so I stocked up on most of the
nonperishables the Holliss suggested. I bought the trail mix, dried fruit, and some coconut honey
clusters.
Detective Dickson scratched in a notepad while Masterson continued glaring at us from against the
wall.
And do you provide snacks for all of your students or just the ones with special medical
considerations? the detective pressed.
I bring donuts for breakfast on the last day before Christmas break and the last day of school, just as
a little extra treat for the students. Other than that, I dont give the kids snacks. The parents are allowed to
bring in cakes and cookies on their childrens birthdays. I knew some of them were bound to forget about
Alfies allergies and I didnt want him to be left out while the other kids had treats. So I went to the health
food store and stocked up on things he could eat.
Dickson nodded, still gazing down at his notepad. And after you bought the food, what did you do
with it?
I left the bags in my trunk and carried them into my classroom the next morning. I put them in a
drawer and theyve been there ever since.
How many times have you provided Alfie Hollis with one of these special treats?
Again, Id have to look at my calendar. But if I remember correctly, weve had six birthdays so far
this year and none of the parents provided allergy-free alternatives.
And did you have permission from Mr. and Mrs. Hollis?
Excuse me?
He looked up and raised an eyebrow. Was I unclear?
I blushed and looked away from his gaze. No its just no, I didnt have specific permission to
give Alfie an allergy friendly treat if the other parents failed to provide one. But they understood that the
other parents would occasionally bring snacks.
Did you have permission from the school officials to provide Alfie Hollis with these allergy friendly
alternatives? Masterson finally spoke.
My face flushed hotter. No, I didnt have specific permission to give Alfie anything. But I wasnt
breaking any school policies, either.
Miss Kinkaid, is it true that you recently ended a long-term relationship with one of your
colleagues? Dickson continued.
I was involved with Ben Simmons for a year. We broke up a few months ago.
I dont see what that has to do with any of this.
Would you call that break up amicable? he pressed.
No, I wouldnt.
Detective, I dont see what my clients relationship history has to do with this case, Frank broke in.
Detective Winston shrugged. You know how this works, Frank. At this point, we dont know what
might be relevant. For instance, if Miss Kinkaid went through an embarrassing, public breakup with one
of her coworkers, she may have felt motivated to revamp her image a little. The little boy has a scare, she
saves the day with the Epi-pen, and suddenly shes everyones hero.
Thats preposterous, I snarled.
Frank put a calming hand on my forearm and glared at Dickson. Thats a terrible, insulting
accusation. And its one you have no grounds for. Emily has admitted she bought the trail mix and gave it
to Alfie. Believe me, if I doubted her innocence for a second, I wouldnt have allowed her to tell you that
much. She didnt poison Alfie Hollis. But someone did, and my client is more motivated than anyone to
figure out who that was. We want to cooperate, but I wont sit here and let you insult her.
Im just trying to get to the truth, Dickson said with another shrug.
Maybe your theory is a little off, partner, Masterson said. He spat into a Styrofoam cup and finally
sat down next to Dickerson. Maybe the old boyfriend wasnt her motivation. Maybe it was the new one.
I dont know whats more offensive: what they think I did, or why they think I did it.
 Dickson cocked an eyebrow. That is a good idea. McAlister gets a lot of airtime, doesnt he? And
the fans dont like you too much. They think youre a distraction. But if your hero scenario had played out
the way you planned, theyd have never said another word against you.
Gentlemen, my client has had a long day and this is starting to get ridiculous. If you have any other
questions, please get to them. If youre just going to throw wild accusations around, well be leaving.
The accusations arent so wild, Masterson warned. If there were ever a slam dunk circumstantial
case, its this one. Emily admits that the food was in her possession from the moment it left the store.
Everything in that drawer tested positive for traces of dairy. And every single package had been opened.
Our forensics expert did a preliminary examination and believes the perpetrator folded a cloth over the
bags and resealed them with a straightening iron. Tell me, Miss Kinkaid, do you own a straightening
iron?
I shook my head. Sorry to disappoint you, but my hair is straight as a board all on its own.
Masterson glared at me, but pressed on. Were comparing the prints we took from you today to the
ones we lifted off of the snack packages. When they match, this case is no longer circumstantial.
Id had enough of the angry detectives condescending threats. Of course my prints are on the
packages. I imagine youll also find some from health food store employees, other customers, hell the
person who boxed them up at the distribution center probably left at least one fingerprint. Will you be
harassing them as well, or just me?
The detectives had no smart ass retort to my question. The duo stared at me with equal amounts of
anger and disgust; Frank smiled beside me. I tried to remind myself they were just doing their jobs. If I
had been guilty, Id deserve all of their hateful comments and then some. I hoped that when the real culprit
was caught, he or she would be treated a hundred times worse than Id been. But I still resented the fact
that they thought I was capable of doing such a terrible thing.
Miss Kinkaid, I understand that you had a difficult childhood. You lost your parents as an infant and
moved a lot while you were growing up. Its not uncommon for people with that type of history to develop
emotional or mental deficits. Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? Dickson asked.
I stared at him, unable to believe he just asked that question. I shook my head. My childhood wasnt
perfect. But Im not damaged. I could never hurt a child, Detective. I cleared my throat, swallowing the
emotion that surged up. I hope that as your investigation continues, youll be able to see that.
We would like you to meet with our staff psychologist, just the same, Masterson countered.
Frank slid his paperwork into his briefcase and rose to his feet. I pushed my chair away from the table
and stood as well, thankful he was calling an end to the interview.
Nice try, but you know no good defense attorney would ever agree to that. The prosecutors office
has already called Miss Kinkaids mental health into question. Shell show that shes sane, competent, and
incapable of committing such a heinous act. But shell do it with an independent doctor of the courts
choosing, not one connected to the arresting precinct. Its getting late and Miss Kinkaids been through
enough for one day. If you have any other questions for her, please contact my office.
Remember the judges warning and dont stray too far, Emily, Masterson called after me as we
stepped into the hallway. Id hate to have an excuse to throw you into a cell.

***

Here kiddo, have some more mashed potatoes, Uncle Walt insisted. He scooped a spoonful onto my
plate and covered them with pan gravy.
 Im not sure I can eat another bite, I protested but loaded my fork anyway.
This is wonderful, Walt, Frank offered, wiping his mouth with a paper towel. Exactly what I
needed after such a long day.
Frank and I had arrived at Ethans to find his kitchen table loaded with chicken fried steak, mashed
potatoes, fresh biscuits, and salad. Growing up, my uncle had emphasized the importance of eating
healthy. We ate a lot of grilled chicken, brown rice, and steamed vegetables. But when comfort food was
in order, he pulled out all the stops.
You were right, back at the courthouse, Walt confessed. He folded his napkin over his empty plate
and leaned back in his chair. I feel helpless. I thought feeding you two was the least I could do.
It really was delicious, Walt, Ethan agreed. He draped an arm over the back of my chair and cleared
his throat. I know we all want to ignore the elephant in the room. But now that weve finished eating, I
think we need to talk about what happened after you two left the courthouse, and what were going to do
to clear Emilys name. Claudia and I set up a workstation in the library.
Ethans right. I know youre scared, kiddo. But I also know if we all pool our resources, well get to
the bottom of this. Why dont the rest of you head that way? I think I could use a drink.
Theres a fully stocked bar in the library, Ethan told him, rising to his feet. He held my hand as we
walked down the hallway, but there was an odd stiffness in his body. He was moving more like a robot
than a person, but I chalked it up to a long, traumatic day. I was feeling pretty tense myself.
Its nothing fancy, Ethan warned, opening the heavy oak door. He flipped on a light and we stepped
into an empty, gloomy room. One wall was covered in dated wood paneling, the other three with built-in
bookshelves. The same shag carpeting that covered the rest of the house ran wall to wall, and a Tiffany-
style chandelier hung from the middle of the ceiling. A large, short wooden table sat beneath it, laden with
boxes of ink pens, stacks of legal pads, and a cup of yellow highlighters. Mismatched couches and
loveseats were arranged around the table and, as promised, a rolling bar cart sat nearby. A small
television had been set up on a filing cabinet and turned to one of the twenty-four-hour news stations.
Uncle Walt walked straight to the bar while the rest of us arranged ourselves around the table. Ethan
and I settled down on one of the loveseats, but his body never quite relaxed.
I wasnt sure what all youd need, he continued. He crossed one leg over the other and leaned
against the armrest. If theres anything else you could use, just let me know and Ill have it delivered.
Thank you, Ethan. But honestly, I dont think this is necessary. Theres more than enough room at my
office for us all to meet there, Frank insisted.
Ethan nodded toward the muted TV. The less Emily leaves the house, the better. I understand youll
work primarily from your place. But I think its best that you come here to speak with Emily instead of
vice versa.
I completely understand, Frank agreed.
Hes acting weird. But he wants me to stay here. That has to be a good sign.
So what do we do to help our girl? Walt asked.
Frank shifted his weight and looked awkwardly from my uncle to Claudia. Claudia, you know I love
you. But if this ends up going to court, youre going to be at the top of the prosecutions witness list.
I know I cant be here, she agreed with a sigh. I was just hoping you would forget. Ill be in the
kitchen.
Thanks, sweetheart, Walt said. He grabbed her hand and gave it a quick peck as she walked by. She
gave him an affectionate pat on the head and continued to the hallway. When the door clicked shut, Frank
cleared his throat.
Look, guys, I appreciate that you all want a plan of action in place as soon as possible. But right
now, theres not much we can do. The prosecutors offices will be required to share anything their
investigation uncovers. The school has a video camera mounted about ten feet down from your classroom
door. My guess is the cops will see someone in the footage whos not supposed to be there, and this will
all be over.
Walt raised an eyebrow. Are you saying we shouldnt do anything until after the cops are finished
reviewing the footage?
I know thats not what you want to hear, Walt. But yes, I think thats our best course of action. We all
know Emily didnt do this. The cops have jumped the gun because there are two justifiably outraged
parents on the other side of this demanding justice for their son. As soon as the evidence points at
someone else, so will their rage.
But what if the footage doesnt clear Emily? Ethan countered. Dont get me wrong. I know shes
innocent. But if the real attacker is someone who works at the school, the cops might not question them
going into Emilys room.
You think this was Ben, I realized out loud.
Who else would have done this? he snapped. Uncle Walt stiffened his back and Ethan quickly
dropped his tone. Im sorry. But he cornered her at the school when the team and I were there speaking to
the kids. Did she tell you about that?
Walt shook his head and turned his disapproving gaze to me. No, she didnt.
I havent heard this story either, Frank announced. Is this something I should know? Who is Ben?
And why do you think hed do something like this, Ethan?
Ben is Emilys ex-boyfriend, Ethan explained. He teaches PE at The Day School. Their
relationship ended
My relationship with Ben ended when I caught him in bed with one of the students mothers, I
interrupted.
I didnt relish recounting the story, but it wasnt Ethans place to tell it.
Ben was a cheating shithead, I continued. And yes, he cornered me at school after Ethan and I
started dating. I think he was jealous. But hes not sadistic. Hes not capable of hurting a child. And even
if he were, he wouldnt risk his career. He cares way too much about himself, and hes terrified of failing
again.
Walt turned back to Frank. Will you have access to these surveillance videos? The cops might not
recognize something suspicious the way Emily would.
Well get copies, but it will take time to review them, Frank warned.
I seem to have an abundance of that at the moment, I replied dryly.
I can help too, Walt offered.
Great. Ill let you know if and when theyre turned over. In the meantime, Id like you all to start
thinking of other people who may have a motive to set Emily up. I know you dont want to believe your ex
is capable of something like this, but Im going to check him out anyway. Whats his full name?
Ben Simmons, Walt answered for me.
Frank scribbled the name onto his notepad. Does anyone else come to mind?
 Not at the moment, I answered. I get along with everyone at work.
Frank looked from Walt to Ethan and they both shook their heads. Alright. If any of you think of
someone else, let me know. Im going to head home for the night. Emily, Ill check in with you tomorrow
afternoon.
He stood up and the rest of us followed suit.
You look exhausted, kiddo, my uncle observed. I think Claudia and I will head out as well so you
can get some rest. Promise youll call if you need anything?
I promise.
We stepped into the living room and found Claudia on the sofa reading a magazine. She slid it into her
purse and looked up with a warm smile.
I got everything squared away in the kitchen. I couldnt find the detergent for your dishwasher, but
its ready aside from that. The leftovers are in Ziploc containers in the fridge.
Thank you, Claudia. You didnt have to do that. I gave her a big hug and resisted the temptation to
ask about Alfie. I knew she couldnt give me any information, but I would have traded anything to hear
that he was still improving.
Thank you for having us, Ethan, Walt offered as everyone moved to the door. Well talk to you
tomorrow, kids. Try to get some rest.
Ethan opened the door and our guests filed outside. He shut it again a little too forcefully, returned to
the living area, and collapsed into an armchair, leaving me alone on the sofa. He let out a loud sigh and
stared blankly at the coffee table.
Okay. Whats going on? I demanded.
What do you mean, whats going on? You lived through the same day I did, right?
No, not at all. I was arrested and accused of being a psychopath who poisons kids for kicks. And
then I came home to a stiff, distant boyfriend who seems terrified to touch me. What the hell happened,
Ethan?
I know this is difficult for you, he began with an air of annoyance, not looking at me. But its
frustrating for me too. I know you didnt do this. But you and I both know that so far, the evidence looks
bad. And thats all people who dont know you like I do have to go on when theyre forming an opinion.
And well, that puts me in a pretty difficult place.
So your mother is what happened.
His face flushed red, but he didnt deny it. She and Victor are concerned about what the allegations
against you will do to my reputation.
I started connecting the dots. Is this why you were late to the courthouse?
He nodded. Its also why Frank is your attorney. I arranged for one of Victors lawyers to handle the
case. He called Victor, who put an end to that plan.
Theyre pressuring you to break up with me, arent they?
He still didnt look at me. Yes. Victor even mentioned something about the morality clause in my
contract.
So they gave you an ultimatum? Me or the team?
They havent pushed it that far yet. And I dont think they will, as long as we lay low and this case is
wrapped up quickly. Once we figure out who actually tampered with the food, Ill hire a PR rep to make
sure your exoneration gets three times the attention as your arrest. But until then, its probably best if we
arent photographed together.
The suggestion stung like a slap in the face. It was like someone had taken my boyfriends body and
dropped a strangers brain inside. I shook my head and let my rage boil over.
Im sorry my current problems are such a damn inconvenience for you. A six-year-old child is lying
in a hospital bed. At best, my career is over. At worst, Im on my way to prison as someone who
assaulted a child. But please, Ethan. Please tell me more about how terrible this could be for your fucking
football team.
The muscle in his jaw worked, then he blew out a breath. Im sorry, Emily. I wasnt trying to make
this about myself. I just want to handle this situation correctly, and its not like anyones printed a
manual.
Well I hate to break it to you, but youve blown your chance to handle this the right way, I snapped,
digging through my purse for my keys. Id just had the worst day of my life and Ethans attitude was the
last thing I felt like dealing with.
Enlighten me, he demanded just as haughtily. What the fuck was I supposed to do?
You could have walked up to any of the reporters outside of that hospital, looked straight into their
cameras, and told them that Im innocent. You could stand by me instead of insisting that we not be seen
together. You could tell your parents to fuck off
They arent just my parents, he growled. Morality clause or not, all Victor has to do is say the
word and Im cut from the team. Hell do it in the middle of the season, just to spite me. Hell ruin the
teams first season just to make a point, Emily. The other guys dont deserve that. Theyve worked too
hard.
My hand finally closed over my keys. I rose to my feet and stormed toward the door, slinging the purse
strap over my shoulder.
What are you doing? Come back here, Emily. Youre overreacting.
I leaned against the door and faced him, keeping my voice as calm as possible. I think youre the last
person who should be telling me how to act right now. You know, I dont know why Im so surprised. I
should have never expected to have an adult relationship with a man whos spent his life playing a game
and calling it a career. Its nice to know where your loyalties lay, though. I mean, who gives a shit if my
name is dragged through the press? It doesnt matter what people think of me as long as you and your
friends get to throw the ball around on Sunday, right?
He stood and took a few strides toward me, then stopped a few paces away. Emily, thats not what I
meant and you know it. Look, weve had long, emotional days. And youre absolutely right. Yours was
worse than mine. Put your purse down. Ill run you a hot bath or maybe we could get in the Jacuzzi
again.
Youre really going to hint at sex right now?
You know, they say that everything happens for a reason, I said, my voice sounding as helpless as I
did. Maybe this, whats happening between us now, is the reason fate, or God, or whoever threw this
mess at me. We cant work, Ethan. I need someone whos instinct is to be there for me. I need to know that
whatever comes my way, I dont have to face it alone. And I deserve that. So Im going home.
Emily, youre making a mistake, he argued.
I made the mistake weeks ago. This is me fixing it. Im sorry, Ethan. Ill call you in a few days and
arrange to come pick up my things.
 I opened the door and rushed outside before he had a chance to reply. I was flooded with emotions but
didnt let myself feel any of them until I was safely home. I stripped out of my clothes on my way to the
bedroom, crawled between the sheets, and cried myself to sleep.
 CHAPTER 9

Emily? Emily, we know youre here. Open the door, Linda insisted from my hallway. I dragged
myself off of the couch and padded to the front door in the teddy bear house slippers Id had since I was
twelve. I turned the knob and my friends pushed into the living room.
We have takeout, Linda announced, lifting a bulging white plastic bag.
And booze, Melissa added. She set a brown paper sack on the coffee table and set off for the
kitchen.
I brushed my fingers through my greasy hair. I really appreciate this, but I really meant it when I said
I wasnt up for company.
Three days had passed since my arrest and subsequent breakup. The first day, Ethan had called every
hour on the hour. The second, I downloaded an app that blocked his number. Id ignored my friends calls
but returned their texts, promising I was okay and insisting I wanted to be alone. They didnt listen.
Youve been locked up in this apartment all week. You dont have to entertain us or even talk to us if
you dont want to. But were not leaving until weve at least seen you eat something, Linda insisted.
Melissa returned from the kitchen with three plates and three tumblers of ice. Linda loaded lo mein
and lemon chicken onto the dishes while Melissa poured three rum and cokes. They carried everything to
the coffee table and sat down on the floor in front of me. I wanted to stay in my pouty mood, but the food
smelled too delicious. I took a plastic fork from the bag and swirled a bite of noodles around it. The three
of us ate in silence for a while before Melissa cleared her throat.
So how are you holding up?
I shrugged. How do I look?
She studied me for a moment and frowned. Awful, if Im being honest.
At that point, I considered awful a compliment. Id been wearing the same sweatpants and t-shirt for
days, I couldnt remember the last time Id run a brush through my hair, and I knew I probably didnt smell
fantastic.
Well, thats how I feel. I took a long drink of my cocktail and stabbed a piece of lemon chicken.
Have you heard from Ethan? Linda pressed.
No. I dont have anything to say to him.
Linda and Melissa exchanged a knowing glance and Melissa turned back to me.
Emily, I know that this is an impossible time. But are you sure you didnt overreact, just a little?
Ive been accused of attacking a child, Melissa. Reporters were crawling all over the hospital when
I was arrested. You saw the footage of them swarming him when he left. And all he said was no
comment. Hes supposed to love me, but he cant be bothered to defend me? Thats not the kind of man I
want. I cant believe youre defending him.
 Im not defending him, Melissa assured me. Im just not sure you fully understand things from his
perspective.
Ethan has a lot of people depending on him, Emily, Linda added quietly. We all know he loves you.
Its all over his face anytime youre in the room.
This is the Stallions first season, Emily. Its almost unheard of for a brand new team to get this far in
the playoffs. Theyre primed to be one of the best teams in the league. But they wont survive an ugly
scandal. I think Ethan felt he was choosing the lesser of the two evils and Im not sure he wasnt right.
You honestly think its okay that he chose the team over me? I snapped. I tossed my half eaten dinner
on the coffee table and reached for my drink. I needed to calm my nerves before my anger got the best of
me.
I think that Ethan knows youre innocent and knows its only a matter of time before everyone else
knows that too. I think that there are a lot of players, trainers, groundskeepers, and countless other people
depending on the Stallions success. And I think Victor Montez is a big enough ass to follow through with
his threat to terminate Ethans contract midseason. They wont win without him, Em. They proved that
while he was injured.
So Im supposed to let Victor and Martha hold my life hostage because they disapprove of me? Im
supposed to be satisfied with Ethan supporting me behind closed doors but not speaking a word in my
defense to the people calling me a monster?
Well yes, Melissa agreed. Honestly, Emily. Im in this business and Im telling you, the less this
is talked about, the better. If you dont feed the story, it dies. One five-second sound bite and itll keep
going for at least another week.
And with any luck, this will be over in less than that, Linda added. Have you heard anything from
the police?
I shook my head. I talked to my lawyer today. He said the police are still looking at the surveillance
footage. The prosecutors office is investigating every aspect of my life. You should probably both expect
a call.
I hope they call, Linda insisted. Ill tell them youre the last person whod ever hurt a child.
Personally, I think Ben was behind it, Melissa suggested. I mean, think about it. How many people
even knew that those snacks were there? And out of those people, who knew what Alfie was and wasnt
allergic to?
We sent home a list with the parents. Im sure it wouldnt have been hard for someone else to get
their hands on it. As for the snacks, Ben, you guys, and Ethan were the only ones who knew about them.
So it had to be Ben, Linda said matter of factly. I dont know how Im going to send the kids to PE
on Monday.
I know Ben being behind this makes sense. But I just cant believe hes capable of hurting a child.
Youve seen him with the students, Linda. He really cares about them. If he wanted to hurt me, hed hurt
me directly. Someone else is behind this. We just have to figure out who. Do you have any other ideas?
They shook their heads in unison. I took another bite of my lo mein and chased it with the rest of my
rum and coke before turning back to Linda.
Whats the theory going around the school? Does everyone think Im guilty?
If they do, theyve been smart enough not to mention it to me. No ones really talking about it at all,
actually. But everyones taking extra precautions. The janitors changed out all of the classroom locks this
week and a security company was there today adding more cameras. I think everyones assuming this was
an outside job.
It had to have been, I agreed. We just have to figure out how everything connects.
Thats a chore for another day, Melissa said, pouring us all another round. She passed me a drink
and then reached for her oversized purse. She pulled out a gallon sized Ziploc bag full of every beauty
product you could imagine.
I know you feel like shit, she explained. I know because you look it. Maybe if we do something
about that, youll start to feel better. Were going to have a spa night. But first, youve got to take a
shower.
Youll feel so much better when you get out, Linda insisted, a hand covering her mouth.
Okay. Im not the best at taking a hint, but I understand blunt statements. Theres some precut cookie
dough in my fridge. Why dont you guys pop them onto a cookie sheet? Ill go wash off this smell and then
Im all yours.

***

My night with my friends made me feel better. But when I woke up alone in bed the next morning, the
cloud of depression consumed me again. Id started the school year feeling nothing but optimism about my
future. And before the end of the first semester, my entire life had crumbled around me. Without my job or
my boyfriend, I had no real reason to get out of bed. It didnt help knowing I wouldnt be able to make it
down the block without someone snapping my picture. I spent another week hiding out at home, leaving
only to meet with Frank. So far, there were no new developments in my case.
I forced myself to shower, do my hair, and put on makeup every day for the sake of not seeing the
looks of concern on the faces of my family and friends. Everyone had taken to dropping by unannounced,
and pretending to be fine was easier than telling the truth. Inside, I felt like I was dying.
Melissas advice kept echoing through my head and my heart ached to call Ethan. I compromised with
myself and unblocked his number, but it was too late. Three days passed without a single call from him. I
decided that as much as it hurt, it was probably best to let him go. But the thought of never seeing him
again was more terrifying than anything else I was going through.
I was popping a single serve pot pie in the oven when the doorbell rang. It startled me and the top of
my hand brushed against the hot rack.
Son of a bitch, I hissed, waving my stinging hand in the air. I rushed to the sink and ran my hand
under cold water as panicked knocks filled the air.
Emily? Ethan called out. Emily, are you okay?
My heart raced as I turned off the faucet and grabbed a dishtowel. Im fine, I called out. Im
coming.
I answered the door, still in shock that he was on the other side. His eyes lit up when he saw me, but
then quickly shot to the cardboard box in his hands.
Hey, he said awkwardly. I thought I heard you swear.
You did. I wasnt expecting anyone. The bell startled me and I burned my hand on my oven.
He stepped past me and set the box on the coffee table. Let me see it, he insisted, reaching for my
hand. I lifted it to him, melting inside at his touch. He gently stroked my scalded skin before pulling away
again.
It doesnt look too bad. Do you have any aloe?
 I nodded. Ill put some on it before I go to bed. What are you doing here, Ethan?
You never called about picking up your things, so I brought some of it over. I have a few duffle bags
in the car. I didnt want to carry everything up until I knew you were home, he explained.
Hes not here to fix anything. Hes just here to finish ending it.
I havent ventured out much. Thanks for bringing everything over. Ill help you with the bags.
Ill get them, he insisted. Go take care of that burn. The longer you wait, the worse it could get.
He went for the rest of my things while I tended to my hand. When I went back to the living room, hed
already returned with the bags. He was perched awkwardly on the edge of the sofa, his elbows resting on
his knees.
Would you like something to drink? I offered. I have Coke and bottled water. And some rum
Melissa left last week.
Im okay. How are you holding up?
I shrugged and sat down in my overstuffed armchair. Okay, I guess. Just waiting impatiently for the
slow wheels of justice to turn. I was hoping to be back at work before Christmas vacation, but it looks
like thats not going to happen. My uncle hired a PI to look into the Hollis family. He thinks were on the
wrong track, thinking Alfie was hurt to get to me. The PI is looking into possible enemies of the family.
That makes as much sense as any of this, he agreed. He took a deep breath and let it out, loud and
slow. Emily, I am so sorry. I was an ass. Everything happened so fast and I had people coming at me
from all sides. I felt so much pressure and I caved, at your expense. Ive been kicking myself since the
moment you left my house. I dont know what I was
I understand, I interrupted. I didnt while it was happening. But I do now. On one side, you have
me. On the other, therere hundreds of people depending on the Stallions having a successful season.
Thats how I felt last week, he agreed, his face tightening with emotion. Now, I dont give a damn
about anyone else. Youre the only one I care about, Emily. The next time a reporter asks me about your
arrest, Im going to tell them exactly how I feel about it. Im going to tell them that youre the most caring,
generous woman Ive ever met. That you wouldnt hurt your worst enemy, much less a child. Im going to
do what I should have done the moment all this started. And Im going to tell my parents that I love you
and their opinions dont matter. Im hoping youll forgive me and take me back. But Im doing all of this
whether you do or not. I love you, Emily.
I wiped a stray tear from my cheek and joined him on the couch. All of the stress, fear, and anxiety
lifted off of my shoulders as I fell into his arms.
I love you, too. I missed you, Ethan. Im still a little mad at you. I wish youd explained why you
wanted to handle things your way. When you told me we couldnt be photographed together, I thought you
were ashamed of me. I thought you felt your job was more important than our relationship. But Melissa
helped me understand that it wasnt just your job you were worried about, that a bad first season would
affect everyone connected to the team. Do you really think your stepdad is that spiteful?
He nodded. Yes, but I dont care anymore. I love you. If that costs me my spot with the Stallions, so
be it. Its not like Victor can kick me out of the league. If he releases me, Ill sign with someone else. Or
Ill retire. My investments are doing well. We could spend the rest of our lives traveling if you want.
Theres no limit, Emily.
A sad sound that was supposed to have been a laugh escaped my lips. There is at the moment. Im not
allowed to leave town, I reminded him.
That will be worked out soon enough. I want you to know that I have never once doubted your
innocence. And I certainly wasnt ashamed of you. Youre the most amazing woman Ive ever met. You
have this silent strength that pulls me toward you. I am so proud to be the man by your side, if youll still
have me.
I gave him a quick, firm kiss on the lips and then pulled away and studied him with a raised eyebrow.
Youre absolutely sure about this? The last thing I want is for this to backfire and you to resent me for
ruining your career.
Ethan cradled my face in his wide, rough hand and stared longingly into my eyes. You asked me once
why I play football when I can afford not to work at all.
And you said not playing would be a waste of your talent.
He nodded. Im proud of my talents. I see them as a blessing, and blessings arent to be squandered.
But you are my biggest blessing, Emily. Regardless of what happens, I will spend my life worshiping you,
not resenting you.
The corners of my lips curled up into a smile. Worshiping, huh?
He nodded as he pulled my face to his. If youd like, I can give you a preview. He gently bit my
lower lip, then enveloped my mouth in a kiss. I tugged at the hem of his shirt and pulled away long enough
to lift it over his head. I ran my hands down his firm, taut muscles and wondered if Id ever get used to the
sight of them.
Ethan dropped his lips to my neck and I unbuttoned my shirt, adding it to the growing pile of clothes
on the floor. I reached for his waistband but he pulled away, rising to his feet.
Wait right here, he instructed. He unzipped one of the duffle bags and retrieved a smaller bag before
continuing on to the bathroom. A few moments later, I heard water rush through the pipes.
A bath for two sounds perfect. I wonder whats in that bag.
I stretched out on the couch, waiting for Ethan to return. Being with him again was comforting and
exciting at the same time, and I prayed the strange combination of feelings would never end.
Ethan returned to the couch and lifted me into his arms.
Whats in that bag? I asked.
He carried me into the bathroom and sat me down on the tile floor. The tub was half full and fragrant
bubbles covered the top of the water. The room smelled like vanilla and lavender and glowed with the
light of three large candles.
I came prepared, just in case you forgave me, he explained with a grin. I figured if you kicked me
out and found the bag later, Id just say it was a gift I hadnt had a chance to give you.
Sounds like you were pretty confident in your chances, I teased.
Ethan held my face in his hands and stared down at me. I was confident that I love you. And I hoped
that would be enough.
It will always be enough, I promised.
Ethan lowered his lips to mine as his fingers danced across my body. He lifted me onto the countertop,
stepped back to turn off the faucet, then returned to me, his eyes ravenous.
Ive missed you, he whispered, kissing my neck as he unhooked my bra. Ive missed every inch of
you. And Im dying to get reacquainted.
He tossed my bra to the floor and took my left nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking until it stood
tall and hard. He moved on to the second and then dropped his lips to my abdomen while his hands slid
beneath my waistband. He pulled my slacks and panties down my legs, kissing his way down to my left
foot before turning his head and running his tongue up my left leg. He pushed my legs up and open, sliding
his hands under me as he plunged his tongue into my pussy. I let my legs rest on his shoulders and Ethan
moved one hand, stroking my clit as his tongue worked his magic inside me. I ran my hands through his
hair, tugging softly as the first waves of release washed over me.
Oh, Ethan, I gasped. As he moved faster and harder, every feeling in my body suddenly intensified.
My eyes rolled back in my head and I leaned against the mirror, gripping Ethans hair for support as I
bucked against his face. I came wet and hard, and Ethan lapped up my juices before rising from his knees.
He lifted me off of the counter and gently placed me in the tub.
Arent you going to get in here with me? I asked.
I want to pamper you, he explained, reaching for a soft shower poof. I took his hand and rose onto
my knees, meeting him at eye level.
You said you were going to worship me, I reminded him. Doesnt that mean you have to give me
what I want?
A sly smile spread across his face. Yes, I guess it does.
Well, I want you, I whispered. I dropped one hand to his rigid cock and kissed him softly just
beneath his jaw. Ethan trembled in my hand and stripped out of his pants. I slid forward in the tub and he
climbed in behind me, propping his legs up on the sides of my deep soaking tub. I leaned back into his
chest and ran my slick body across his erection. Ethan dropped a hand between my legs and slid two
fingers inside me.
I love you, Emily, he whispered.
I love you too, I gasped as he used his other hand to guide his rod inside me. I squeezed my legs
together as tight as I could and leaned forward, taking him in deeper.
I leaned back again, my chest now covered in bubbles. Ethan gripped my breasts and I lowered my
hand to where we were joined. Cupping Ethans balls in my palm, I stroked my clit with my thumb. I
leaned forward again, rising and falling on Ethans cock as I moved. I knew I could take Ethan deeper, but
I couldnt find the right position. Desperate for complete satisfaction, I stood up and stepped out of the
tub. Ethan was caught off guard, but he joined me. Only the sound of water dripping from our bodies filled
the room.
I cant get enough of you in there, I explained breathlessly. I leaned back against the counter and
pulled Ethan towards me. He planted his palms on either side of me and leaned down, tracing his lips
lightly over my neck.
You want all of me? he whispered.
Yes, I begged, wrapping my arms around his neck. Ethan lifted me onto the counter and pulled until
my ass was at the very edge. He stood in front of me and lifted my right leg to his shoulder. He guided
himself into me, plunging balls deep with the first thrust.
Like that? he groaned.
I clamped my pussy muscles tight around him. Yes, I gasped. Exactly like that.
Ethan moved slowly, pulling all but the head of his cock out before driving it back in. I felt every inch
of his thick, quivering shaft as he moved in and out of me. I grabbed his ass with one hand, driving him in
harder as I bore down on his cock.
Oh God, Emily, he moaned. Youre going to make me come.
Come with me, baby, I demanded as my second orgasm overtook me. I cried out in pleasure and
intensified my grip on Ethans cock, desperate to feel every last throb. Ethans entire body spasmed and
he released my leg. He fell forward, bracing himself on the counter as his cock erupted deep inside me.
He took a few deep breaths and pulled me down onto the cool tile floor.
That was amazing, he said, still struggling for breath.
Yes, it was, I agreed. I was blissfully happy and never wanted the night to end. What do you say
we get back in the bath, and then do this again?
I promised to worship you, so I guess I dont have a choice, he teased. He rolled over and kissed
me, and we forgot all about the bath.

***

I woke up the next morning to the mouthwatering aromas of cinnamon, coffee, and bacon. The bedroom
seemed unnaturally bright as I stretched and opened my eyes. I rolled out of bed and peeked out the
window to see the city covered in a thick blanket of snow.
If the weather keeps up, well have a white Christmas.
The upcoming holiday seemed much less depressing now that Ethan and I were back together. I
couldnt help but smile as I padded into the kitchen.
Good morning, sweetheart, Ethan greeted me with a grin. He was at the table with a cup of steaming
coffee and my laptop.
I hope you dont mind, he said, gesturing to the computer. Mine is at home.
Its no problem, I assured him, pouring a cup of coffee of my own.
I stuck some cinnamon rolls in the oven about ten minutes ago and theres bacon on the stove.
Thanks, baby. It all smells delicious. What are you working on?
A speech announcing that Im leaving the Stallions.
I stared at him, trying to decide if I heard him right.
He blew out a breath and looked from the computer to me. I didnt sleep very well last night. I kept
thinking about my parents threats. I dont want this to end with them kicking me off the team. I want to
leave on my own terms. Im going to tell them I love you and then Im going to call a press conference.
After that, Id love nothing more than to whisk you off to a luxurious hotel and shut out the rest of the
world for a few days. What do you say?
That sounds wonderful, I whispered, still in too much shock to speak louder. Want to practice your
speech on me?
If I ever get past Ladies and gentlemen, it is with a heavy heart. Thats all Ive got.
I relaxed my face and studied him for a moment. What reason are you giving for leaving midseason?
Thats what Im stuck on, he said, his face twisting in uncertainty. I cant tell them the truth.
Victors acting like a child, but I dont want to air our family drama in public. And I cant really say that
Im retiring or in need of personal time if Im going to turn right around and look for another contract. But
I have to say something. The alternative is letting my parents control the story. I have no idea how to
handle this. Any ideas?
I knew what had to be done. I hated it, but it was our only good option. I let out a long sigh just as the
oven timer chimed. Ethan pulled the cinnamon rolls out and set them on the counter to cool.
We have to give them control, I said, sinking onto a stool, shaking my head. I couldnt let him do
this. Not for me. Not for any reason. Or let them think they have control, at least. You were right, Ethan.
You cant leave the team midseason.
He set the frosting container on the counter and stared back at me, his hands on his hips. What are
you saying, Emily?
Im saying that your original plan was the right one. At the moment, were stuck. If you walk away
now, youll come across as undependable, not a team player. If Victor fires you, he could tank your
reputation. Theres no good way for you to get out now and get signed to a new team. We have to play
along with your parents until the end of the season. After the last game, well tell them the truth and let the
chips fall where they may. Surely by then my name will be cleared and that part wont matter.
Are you absolutely sure about this? he pressed. I meant what I said last night. I dont care if I ever
play football again. Youre more important than any game.
My heart squeezed and tears burned the back of my eyes. I believe you. But youre a man who
finishes what he starts. I cant ask you to change one of my favorite things about you. And its only six
weeks, right?
If we make it all the way, yes. If we play badly, it could be over on New Years.
I smiled at him. Well, dont play badly.
I wont. Youre absolutely sure about this? he asked again.
Im absolutely sure. And I think its best if we keep up the ruse with everyone, not just your parents. I
wont tell anyone that were together again and were going to have to be incredibly careful when we see
each other.
But we do get to see each other, right? I cant take another week of not seeing you, much less six of
them.
My smile grew wider. Of course well see each other. And this will all be over before we know
it A terrible thought caused the smile to falter. Unless the surveillance videos dont pan out and Im
sent to jail.
I wont let that happen, he promised. If worse comes to worst, well run away. I have more than
enough money stowed away for us to live a long and happy life. And anyone who wants would be
welcome to join us. But I honestly dont think it will come to that, baby. Youre a good person. And
youve already been dealt more than your fair share of shitty hands.
I pressed my fingertips to my temples, trying to massage the growing headache away. Most of the
time, I feel optimistic. But occasionally, fear creeps in. The longer this drags out, the less likely my career
will ever recover. This story is going to follow me and there will always be people who doubt my
innocence. Coworkers will look over my shoulder, parents and kids will whisper behind my back. Im not
sure I can go back to that. But at the same time, I cant imagine doing anything else.
Youre a good teacher, Emily. Youre right, people who hear the story may be a little standoffish
when you first meet. But as soon as they get to know you, your innocence will be as obvious to them as it
is to me. You didnt do anything wrong, Em. What Alfie went through wasnt your fault.
I wasnt paying attention, I whispered. I passed him that bag and then I turned my back on him and
called you. If Id noticed him sooner, if Id looked more carefully at the trail mix
You cant torture yourself with ifs, he interrupted. Though believe me, Im guilty of it too. If I
hadnt texted you, you wouldnt have been on the phone with me. But if you werent on the phone with me,
whos to say you wouldnt have been distracted by something else? You did the best you could with the
situation someone else set in motion. Have you heard from Frank lately?
 I shook my head. Not for a few days. He said we should expect things to run even slower than usual
since its the end of the year. My uncles coming by for lunch. Im hoping he has an update from the
investigator.
Will you call and let me know what he says?
Sure.
Ethan arranged cinnamon rolls and bacon on two plates and carried them to the table.
Ill be at practice until late this afternoon. Is it okay if I come back tonight?
I shook my head. I dont think we should meet at either of our houses. Its too risky. With everything
thats going on, you never know when a reporter is going to pop out of the bushes. And if were
photographed together, our cover is blown.
Ethan gave me a teasing grin and raised one eyebrow. This is a change of pace. I seem to remember
you storming out of my house after I suggested we lay low.
I rolled my eyes and swallowed a mouthful of bacon. Ive already admitted you were right. How
long are you going to rub it in?
Thats the last time, I swear. He held up two fingers by his head. So if we cant meet at either one
of our houses, where are we going to go?
A hotel. A different one every time. Ill check in since my name is less recognizable than yours. And
then you can meet me there an hour or so later.
Ethan frowned. You want to sneak around like were having an affair?
I frowned back. No. I want to walk freely around the city holding your hand. But thats not an option
right now.
I know, he agreed and licked some frosting from his thumb. I just want to be with you, Emily. It
doesnt matter where. Im leaving for Ohio with the team tomorrow. Can we spend tonight together?
Absolutely. Ill get a room somewhere after Walt leaves this afternoon. Ill text you and tell you were
to meet me.
He glanced at the oven clock and swallowed the last of his coffee. I have to get to the stadium, he
explained, rising to his feet.
I walked him to the door and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.
I love you so much, Emily, he whispered, his breath tickling my ear. Shivers of desire coursed
through my body, but all we had time for was a kiss.
 CHAPTER 10

Hey, kiddo. Were just about to start the movie. Want some hot chocolate? Uncle Walt peeked his
head into my old bedroom, where I was stretched across the mattress. It was a Christmas Eve tradition for
us to go out for a fancy meal and then return home to watch A Christmas Story and Its a Wonderful Life.
Claudia joined us that year, making it my first Christmas with anyone but Uncle Walt.
Sounds good, I agreed with a yawn. But maybe I should have coffee instead of hot chocolate. I ate
too much and now Im exhausted.
Coffee it is. Claudia bought some of those fancy flavored pod things.
Perfect. Im going to change into my pajamas. Ill join you guys in a minute.
Uncle Walt left the room and I rolled off the bed. I rummaged through my overnight bag, changing my
black slacks and red sweater for a pair of plaid flannel pajama pants and oversized sweatshirt. I pulled
my hair into a ponytail and shuffled into the open kitchen and living room. I sat down on a barstool at the
island while Walt brewed coffee and assembled a tray of cookies, candy, and popcorn. Claudia was
stretched out in one of the recliners watching the end of the evening news.
Looks like the snows going to let up for a few days, she said as the newscaster signed off.
Thats a relief, Walt replied. He topped my coffee off with a splash of cream and slid it to me
across the island. I have a charter flight scheduled for Friday and I wasnt looking forward to flying
through the slush.
I carried my mug to the sofa and Walt followed with the snack tray. As we settled in, the opening
credits of the nightly tabloid talk show flashed across the television. A voiceover alerted viewers to the
nights leading story: Ethan McAlister, hot shot Stallions quarterback, had been spotted all over Portland
with Dallas cheerleader Susannah Cross.
Uncle Walt scrambled for the remote and Claudias face flushed beet red.
Honey, Im so sorry, she stammered.
I kept my face carefully neutral. Its okay. Lets just watch the movie.
Walt powered on the blue ray player then dropped the remote on the coffee table before the main menu
popped up. He stood and started pacing the cream carpet floors.
Emily, I admire your ability to stay calm right now. But Im afraid I dont share it. What the fuck does
that kid think hes doing? He swooped into your life, all but moved you into his house, and the moment
things got tough, he bails? And then has the audacity to strut around town with some cheerleader just a few
weeks later? Its all I can do not to drive over to his house and kick his ass.
Walt, calm down, Claudia said, dropping her face in her hands. This isnt helping anything.
Its really okay, I told them again. Ethan and Susannah are just friends. You know how those talk
shows are. They blow everything out of proportion. Im sure thats the case here.
 You seem pretty confident about that, Claudia said, lifting her head to look at me closely.
I was incredibly confident about it because it had been my idea for Ethan and Susannah to put on a
show for the reporters. I thought it would keep Martha and Victor from asking too many questions about
where Ethan was spending his time. I hadnt considered that being videoed with the cheerleader wouldnt
exactly endear Ethan to my family and friends.
Susannah is really young. Ethan wouldnt be interested in her. But even if he is, what right do I have
to say anything about it? I left him, remember?
You left him because he was acting like a bastard, Uncle Walt countered. And his behavior just
keeps getting more and more reprehensible. Im glad you ended things with him before they got too
serious.
Ethan and I are still together, I blurted out without thinking.
A wide, I knew it smile spread across Claudias face while Walts mouth fell open and he stopped
dead in his tracks.
I was hoping thats what was going on, Claudia beamed.
What the fuck do you mean youre still together? Walt demanded. When he started pacing again, I
grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down onto the sofa beside me.
For Gods sake, sit down. Youre making me nervous. Ethan stopped by about a week and a half ago
with the stuff Id left at his house. We started talking and we both owned up to the mistakes wed made.
He apologized for not immediately speaking out in my defense. And I apologized for not considering the
position he was stuck in.
That manipulative bastard, Walt snarled. I cant believe he made you feel like you had anything to
apologize for.
Claudia held up a hand. Theres obviously more going on than meets the eye, Walt. Just let Emily
talk. She turned to me with patient eyes. What position is Ethan in, exactly?
I took a deep breath and explained the whole mess. I told them about Martha and the way shed tried
to intimidate me when Ethan was in the hospital. I described the ultimatum Victor had given Ethan and
reminded them that the high paid football players werent the only people depending on the franchise to
keep their roofs over their heads.
After Ethan apologized, he wanted to stand up to his parents and leave the team on his own terms.
But once I understood everything at stake, I couldnt let him do it. So we decided not to tell anyone wed
made up, not until after the end of the season.
So after the last game, youre going public again? Claudia asked.
After the last game or after my name is cleared, whichever comes first.
Victor Montez would be an absolute dumbass to release his best player in the middle of the
playoffs, Walt countered. Ethans story sounds like a load of manipulative horseshit if you ask me. I
think hes pulling one over on you, sweetheart.
I understand why youd believe that. But youre wrong. I spent the next half hour recounting some of
the more terrible stories Ethan had told me about the way his stepfather did business. Victor was selfish
and ruthless. If he released Ethan from his contract, it wouldnt be the first time hed completely tanked
one of his businesses to make a personal point.
Claudia shuddered as I wrapped up a story about the time Victor fired a single mother for not
answering his phone call during her sons elementary school graduation.
 He sounds like a real piece of work. I dont blame you for wanting to stay under his radar.
I nodded. Luckily, Ethan sees his parents as an example of what not to be. He really is a good guy,
Walt. Our emotions were running high after I was arrested and we both could have handled the situation
better.
I trust your judgment, Emily. Walts shoulders seemed to sag in resignation. But the more you talk
about his parents, the less thrilled I am about you being anywhere near that family. I understand why you
didnt want them to know youre still seeing each other. But why in the world would you keep it from
me?
His feelings are hurt.
Im sorry, Uncle Walt. I thought it would be best not to say anything to anyone. The fewer people who
know the secret, the more likely it is to stay a secret. Once again, I wasnt thinking clearly. I know you
wouldnt say anything and the last thing I meant to do was give you a reason to hate Ethan. Please dont
punish him for my mistake.
Walt met my eyes again. If and when he comes around again, Ill approach the situation with an open
mind. Thats the best I can do.
Thank you. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze and reached for the remote.
Wait a second, he said, taking it from my hand. You said that you and Ethan are staying quiet until
your name is cleared or the end of the season, whichever comes first. Whats your plan after that? If the
season ends and youre still under investigation, will Ethan leave the team? Or will you just wait to see if
Victor follows through with his threat?
Im not sure. Were just sort of dealing with things as they come, I admitted. I hope my name is
cleared first. But if its not, I think Ethan will want to leave the team on his terms. He wont want to wait
around to see if Victor fires him.
Walt narrowed his eyes. So hell be looking for a new contract in a new city?
I nodded. I know what youre going to ask. And Ive already told Ethan Ill move with him if hes
signed to a new team.
Walt frowned and exchanged a glance with Claudia. She smiled and gave him a slight nod before he
turned back to me.
I think it goes without saying that I dont want you to move. Especially now, when Im finally putting
down roots. Ill be a good sport about it, but youll have to promise me something.
I raised an intrigued eyebrow. Whats that?
That youll come home next October to be my best man, he said, his mouth widening with a proud
grin. Claudia beamed from the recliner and pulled an engagement ring from her pocket.
We were going to wait until tomorrow to tell you, she said to my open-mouthed expression. She
laughed and slipped the ring onto her finger, then held out her hand so I could examine the brilliant round
diamond.
One of your presents under the tree is actually a best man t-shirt. Walts grin couldnt possibly get
bigger. Claudia thought it would be a cute way to break the news.
Im so happy for you, I gushed, tears falling from my eyes. I hugged Walt, then Claudia before
returning to my spot on the sofa. I took my uncles hand and gave him a broad smile. Id be honored to
stand beside you at the wedding. And to be honest, Im a little relieved that you beat me down the aisle. I
always worried you were an incurable bachelor.
 Walt let out an amused chuckle and squeezed my hand. A few silent moments passed and my uncles
mood suddenly changed from joyful to reflective.
I dont want you to move, he said again. But if thats the decision you make, Ill support it. I know
youre a grown woman and need to live your life, wherever it may take you. I know I can be
overprotective and opinionated. Its only because when I look at you, I still see the tiny little girl who
used to beg for one last story before bedtime. I feel like I missed so much of your life when you were
growing up. I was looking forward to making up for that now that Ive retired.
Nothings decided yet, I reminded him, pressing my fingers against suddenly wet eyes. And if
Ethan and I do move, I know a guy who could fly you in for a visit.
He laughed and relaxed his shoulders. I know. Im acting like a sentimental old man.
Its okay. We have a lot going on, youre allowed to be sentimental. And for the record, you have
nothing to make up for. You worked hard so we could have a nice life. I always understood that. Now, if
were going to make it through both movies, wed better get started.

***

I stepped out of the deep porcelain bathtub and wrapped myself in one of the hotels fluffy robes. It was
two days after Christmas, and Ethan and I were spending some much needed time together between the
holiday and Ethans bowl game. I hated that I had to stay behind, but there was no way around it. Keeping
our relationship a secret meant wed be on separate coasts on New Years Eve. Id have no one to kiss at
midnight. Wed been doing plenty of kissing to make up for it.
I padded into the empty bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Ethan entered from the other door a few
moments later pushing a room service cart.
Breakfast is served, he said, lifting the metal dome lid off of a plate of pancakes and bacon. He
poured us each a cup of coffee while I drenched my food in syrup. I cut a wide triangle through my tall
stack and shoved it into my mouth with my fork.
Hungry? Ethan teased with an amused smile.
I nodded, my cheeks puffed out like chipmunks. I chased the food with a long sip of orange juice and
smiled back at him. Someone spent most of the night working up my appetite, I reminded him.
Ethan grinned and cut into his Denver omelet. Im pretty famished myself. We need to cut this out or
Ill be too exhausted to go to practice.
Dont go. Play hooky and stay here with me, I demanded playfully. I folded a piece of bacon into my
mouth and lifted a napkin from the nearby cart. The morning paper was beneath it. My stomach tensed, but
Ethan immediately made me feel better.
Theres nothing in it, he assured me. I googled us while you were in the bath. My only mentions
were team related and there are no new stories about you at all.
There was an exciting, romantic element to our secret rendezvous but for the most part, they just made
me nervous. Part of me was convinced wed be caught at any moment and our worst fears would become
reality. Every time the news came on or I saw a paper, my heart raced with fear.
Ill be so glad when all of this is over, I confessed and took a long sip of coffee, then cupped the
warm mug with both hands.
That brings up something we need to talk about. In a perfect world, where will we be when all of
this is over?
 What do you mean? I asked.
Ethan ate another bite of his eggs before continuing. Say youre cleared before the end of the season
and Victor cant hold the morality clause over my head. Do you want to stay here in Portland? Or should
we just assume were moving on no matter what happens?
I dont know if youd have asked me a few months ago, I would have wanted to stay here. But now
Im not so sure. Id miss my family and friends if we left. But Id be lying if I said a fresh start didnt
sound like a great idea. What would make you happiest?
He lifted a shoulder. I just want to play football. I dont care where, as long as were together.
Knots formed in my stomach and I shifted nervously on the bed.
What is it, baby? he pressed, his voice full of concern.
I let out a long, anxious sigh. Were sitting here planning our future, but were not even sure Ill have
one. I could still go to prison, Ethan. Its been easy to ignore that with everything slowing down for the
holidays. But its still there, hanging over our heads. Ive been charged with trying to kill a child. What if
we cant prove I didnt do it? You cant prove a negative, isnt that what they always say?
Ethan moved the breakfast trays and pulled me into his arms. I wont let that happen, Emily. Ive
already told you, if worse comes to worst, well run. I know its impossible not to worry. But you can
trust that I wont let anything happen to you.
I desperately wanted to believe him, but questions kept forming all around me. What if we cant run?
What if whoever did this frames me for something else? The police could show up at my house
unexpected and take me before we have a chance to leave.
Youre innocent, Emily, he reminded me, his voice calm but firm. But if the courts cant see that the
first time around, Ill hire the best appeals attorneys in the country. And I wont give up until youre
released. Ill wait for you and stay faithful to you, no matter what. I love you. And no matter what
happens, that will never change.
Talking about my fears had put me in a terrible mood, and I resisted Ethans efforts to make me feel
better.
Even if Im cleared of the criminal charges, the board of education could still revoke my teaching
license. Im not innocent of neglect, and they know it. The kids told them I was on the phone when Alfie
collapsed.
You have to forgive yourself for that, he insisted, pushing my hair back from my face. But youre
right. You were on the phone. Thats both of our faults, and youre the one who might have to pay for it.
But your life wont end if your license is revoked. If you couldnt teach, what would you want to do?
I shook my head. I dont know. I never thought about it until this happened. I cant picture myself
doing anything but working with kids. And with this on my record, no one will hire me to do that.
Well, what was your favorite subject in school?
I liked English and history mostly because Ive always loved to read.
Perfect. You could go back to school, get your doctorate, and then you could teach at a university.
Youd be able to teach what you love to people who actually want to be there grown people who are
responsible for themselves.
I looked at him in horror. Do you know how long it would take me to get my doctorate? And even
with it, theres no guarantee that Ill get hired anywhere. And I dont think Id enjoy working with adults
as much as children.
 Im just offering a suggestion. Our lives can be whatever we want, Emily. We can be whatever we
want. If you love reading and working with kids, well open a childrens bookstore. If you dont like that
idea, well come up with something else. I dont care if you suddenly decide you want to live off-grid and
become a chicken farmer. If you lose your teaching license, itll take some time for you to figure out what
comes next. But Im in. Whatever makes you happy, consider it done.
A chicken farmer? I teased and smiled, scrunching up my nose.
His eyes grew soft as he looked at me. I was just making a point. But its nice to see your smile has
returned. He planted a firm kiss on my lips and then settled us against the headboard. I curled up against
his chest and let out a contented sigh.
You know, since our last fight, youve done a fantastic job of making sure I know youre on my side,
I pointed out. Thank you for that. It makes all of the uncertainties a lot easier to deal with.
Im sorry I ever gave you reason to doubt that. He kissed the top of my head and held me a little
tighter. As long as I live, I will never regret anything like I regret not speaking up for you when the
reporters mobbed me outside the hospital. I will never make that mistake again. I want so badly to take
you by the hand and march up and down the streets, telling everyone that I love you. And I love you so
much for understanding why I cant.
This is bigger than just you and me. The trickle-down effect of a disappointing playoff run or a
bigger scandal just isnt worth it. But the second thats no longer an issue, Im going to hold you to that
little love parade you just described, I said, my voice playful and daring.
You can hold me to anything youd like, he dared back.
I rolled on top of him, letting my bathrobe fall open. He ran his hands down my bare back and I pulled
his face to my chest.
Like these? I whispered, my voice low and sultry.
Anything youd like, he whispered back. He kissed my breastbone then took my right nipple
between his teeth, pinching gently while he teased me with his tongue. My phone rang just as he moved to
the left.
Dont answer it.
I groaned. Thats Franks ringtone. I have to. I jumped off the bed. I fumbled in my purse and
retrieved my phone, but not before the call went to voicemail. I immediately redialed Franks number. He
answered on the second ring.
Emily, thank God. I was just leaving you a message. How quickly can you get to my office?
My heart hammered and I pushed a shaky hand through my hair. I can be there in half an hour. Why?
I got a call from Nelson. He wants us in his office at ten.
I glanced at the bedside alarm. It was only nine, so I had plenty of time to get to the meeting. I just
wasnt sure I had enough time to psych myself up for it.
Did the prosecutor say what this meeting is about? I asked, looking at Ethan. The moment I said
prosecutor, he sprang into action. He took a sweater and a rumpled pair of black slacks from my duffle
bag and set up the hotel ironing board.
He didnt give me any specifics. But my guess is that the police have finally finished reviewing the
security footage.
I started brushing on makeup while Ethan ironed my clothes. Frank is there any chance I wont be
going home after this meeting?
 Not unless they somehow have video of you pouring powdered milk into that trail mix.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Well, I can assure you that didnt happen.
Then you have nothing to worry about. Nothing new, anyway. Ill see you in half an hour.
See you then.
I ended the call, gripped the edge of the bathroom sink, and took a deep breath. Ethan came into the
room, moved behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned back against his chest and met
his eyes in the mirror.
This will be good news, he promised. This is the call weve been waiting for.
I hope so. Otherwise, it will get a lot worse before it gets better.
I know youre nervous. Im nervous for you. Ill come to the courthouse. If anyone sees us together,
Ill just say that Im there as a concerned friend.
I ran my hand down the front of his shirt. That wont work and you know it. I wish you could come
with me, but you cant miss practice. The meeting is at ten. Ill text you as soon as its over.
I swiped mascara onto my eyelashes and went back to the bedroom, where Ethan had laid my freshly
ironed clothes on the bed. I dressed quickly and slipped on my black ballet flats. As Ethan perched on the
edge of the mattress, I stood in front of him and turned in a full circle.
How do I look? Like a responsible adult, or someone whos been up all night carrying on a secret
affair?
The first one, he assured me, his eyes boring into me.
Blowing out a nervous breath, I reached for my purse and gave Ethan one last hug.
This will be good news, he assured me again. In fact, Im so sure of it, Im going to arrange for a
little private celebration at my place tonight. No more hiding The corner of his mouth lifted, the
dimple coming on full display. Im not thrilled by this new habit of yours to call this an affair.
I smiled and kissed him hard on the mouth. Your place, tonight. Well celebrate and finish what we
started before Frank called.
Careful his hands moved down my back to cup my ass, I just might hold you to that.

***

Try to relax, Emily. I know the cops and the prosecutors havent been particularly kind to you. But you
have to keep in mind that theyre just doing their jobs, Frank reminded me.
I nodded and buckled myself into the passenger seat of his Audi. I know. If I didnt know me, Id
think I was guilty too. Whoever did this did a good job of setting up a circumstantial case against me. I
just hope they dont do it again.
The more I think about it, the more I think Walts right about the parents being the actual target. Ive
interviewed both of the Holliss. They both admitted that while they never gave you expressed permission
to give Alfie snacks, they knew it was happening. Alfie loved you for it. Who knows how many people
learned about your treat stash from them? And those same people would know what Alfie is and isnt
allergic to.
It does make a lot of sense. But it would have been a lot easier for someone like that to get to one of
the kids at home, I pointed out.
True, but by doing it at the school, they distanced themselves from the suspect list.
 I shook my head. I cant believe were even having this conversation. I keep picturing some faceless
person sitting in the dark, contemplating the most efficient way to endanger a child. It makes my stomach
turn.
Im right there with you. I have three kids of my own. Knowing there are monsters out in the
world His knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. Im a humble servant of our justice system,
but if someone put one of my kids through what the Hollis boy endured, I dont know that Id be able to
resist taking the law into my own hands.
Yeah. Im lucky Mr. Hollis has better control over his impulses than his wife does. Otherwise,
Dickson would have had to take me to the ER before he booked me. I completely understand why they
hate me so much. I just wish their anger was directed at the right person.
With any luck, well have the blame off you by lunch, Frank said with a reassuring smile. He turned
into the courthouse parking lot and pulled into an empty space near the front entrance. Just take a deep
breath and remember that youre innocent.
Youre the second person whos reminded me of that today, I told him with a nervous grin. I
unbuckled my seatbelt and slid out of the car. I smoothed my wool overcoat, held my head high and
followed Frank into the courthouse. We rode an elevator to the third floor, where a painted sign on the
window told us wed reached the prosecuting attorneys office.
The heavy glass door opened into a bland, expansive room. Florescent lights hummed overhead, and
dingy blue dividers sectioned the space off into tight cubicles. I followed Frank through the maze of
desks, the drab brown carpet feeling like Astroturf beneath my feet.
The door to Nelsons office was on the far wall, and I drew a lot of disapproving glances as we made
our way across the room.
Ignore them. Most of them know less about whats going on than I do. Theyve just been reading the
papers. The sensationalized version is always more fun.
Frank knocked on the hollow plywood door and we were immediately instructed to come in. Nelson
was behind a wide desk that had been wedged into a room roughly the size of Ethans walk-in closet.
Have a seat, he instructed with a wave to the mismatched chairs in front of us. Frank and I squeezed
in beside each other and he folded his hands on top of the desk. I trust you both had a good holiday?
As good as I could expect, given the current situation, I replied, doing my best to keep my voice
warm and calm.
You said there was something you needed to speak to us about, Frank reminded him. Why dont we
cut the small talk? Miss Kinkaid is anxious to hear if there have been any new developments in the
investigation.
As a matter of fact, we came across something late last night. Nelson turned his attention to his
computer. He tapped his keyboard a few times and then rotated the monitor so all three of us could see it.
A grainy black and white image of the school hallway filled the screen.
The resolution on this is terrible. How old is the schools security system? Frank asked.
Older than the school, Nelson replied dryly. But I hear theyve recently upgraded.
They must have found something. Ethan was right. This is actually good news sort of. Theres
still a monster out there somewhere.
Miss Kinkaid, Im going to play the video in slow motion. Id like you to tell me if you recognize the
man who enters your room, the prosecutor directed.
 I nodded, my heart racing with a blend of relief and revulsion. Nelson hit play and a few long,
tension-filled moments later, a man stepped into the hallway. He was tall and wide with a thick, full
beard. What I could see of his face, I didnt recognize.
Ill bet you a thousand dollars that whoever this is, hes sporting the clean shaved look these days,
Frank said.
Only a dumbass would bet against that, Nelson replied. Miss Kinkaid, do you recognize this man?
I stared at the image, willing myself to know him. But recognition wouldnt come. Sadly, I shook my
head. No. Ive never laid eyes on him in my life.
Can you enlarge the timestamp? Frank asked, squinting at the screen.
Nelson shook his head. Not on this screen. But this footage is from nine thirty-seven p.m. on
November fourth.
So from that moment on, the snack drawer was a time bomb. Fury built within my chest and I
wanted to shatter the computer screen. I felt angry and violated, terrified that someone had been able to
break into my life so easily. Id spent weeks in that room, not knowing that a potentially deadly plan had
already been set into motion.
Frank cleared his throat. Im assuming, given this new development, the charges against Miss
Kinkaid will be dropped.
Nelson sighed but didnt meet my hopeful gaze. Yes, but my office is reserving the right to refile at
any time. My boss didnt want to dismiss them at all. Theres still a lot of circumstantial evidence against
you, Emily. But my gut tells me youre innocent. And the DA has learned to listen to my gut.
This is over? I asked in complete disbelief, emotion threatening to clog my throat.
Nelson nodded. Unless we find our John Doe and he has evidence that he was your accomplice.
Thats my boss theory.
That wont happen, I assured him, nearly yelling the words. My relief soon gave way to determined
anger. Mr. Nelson, this man broke into my classroom and poisoned an innocent child. I understand that
you had to investigate me. But I sincerely hope you had a few people looking into other angles, at least.
Please tell me this development hasnt put your investigation back at square one.
Nelson cringed and glanced down to the desk. Frank sat a little straighter in his chair, holding his head
high.
The Portland PD is re-interviewing the Hollis family as we speak, Nelson confessed. Were
looking into possible business rivals, anyone who may have it out for the family. I believe they also intend
to speak to your boyfriend, Miss Kinkaid.
I dont have a boyfriend, I lied.
My apologies your former boyfriend, Nelson corrected himself.
What does Mr. McAlister have to do with the investigation? Frank pressed.
Nelson shrugged. I think they want to ask if he has any jealous ex-girlfriends or anyone else who may
want to get Emily out of the picture.
To my knowledge, there are no crazy ex-girlfriends. His parents certainly wanted me out of the
picture. But that didnt start until after I was arrested.
Nelson raised an eyebrow and lifted a pen from his desk. Are you sure? The Montezs arent exactly
known for being law-abiding citizens. If they wanted you gone, the could have created a way to justify it.
I considered it for a moment, then shook my head. Only a sick, psychotic person would intentionally
harm a child. Victor and Martha are intimidating formidable even. And they certainly know which
strings to pull to get what they want. But I dont think theyre demented.
Still, it may be an angle worth looking into, Nelson observed.
Frank puffed out his chest like a proud robin and pulled a business card from his breast pocket. Mr.
Kinkaid and I were concerned that the investigation might hit a stall once you realized Emily was
innocent. This is the name and number of the PI we hired to look into things. Hes already assembled files
on several potential suspects who could be linked to the Hollis family. Hes also assembled a file on Ben
Simmons, a disgruntled ex of Emilys. Hell be more than happy to fill you in on what hes learned.
Damn it, I told them Ben wouldnt do this. I cant believe they had him investigated.
I was taken aback by the revelation, but I did my best not to show it. I took a deep, silent breath and
let it out slowly to calm myself.
Nelsons face flushed red, but he took the card. Thank you. Ill pass this on to the lead detective.
I cleared my throat. Mr. Nelson, what does this new development mean for my teaching license?
You are no longer under investigation, Miss Kinkaid. The decision of whether or not youre allowed
back in a classroom lies with the school board. I imagine your principal or superintendent knows how to
proceed from here.
I nodded. Ill call the school as soon as we leave.
Is there anything else you need from us? Frank asked, pulling at his necktie. It wasnt particularly
warm in the room, but I understood why my lawyer might be feeling a little claustrophobic.
Thats all for now. Stay in town, Emily. And watch your back. Until the intruder is in custody and can
speak to his motives, I think its best that you take some extra safety precautions.
I paused at the door, pressing a hand against it to keep steady. You think Im in danger?
Nelson shrugged again. I think given everything were unsure of, its best if youre hyper-aware of
your surroundings. The first attack was indirect, so I dont think anyones going to pop out of the bushes
and grab you. Just pay attention to whats happening around you at all times.
I will, I promised. Thank you, Mr. Nelson.
Frank and I filed out of the office, through the cubical labyrinth, and into the hallway. I waited until we
were outside to vent my frustrations.
I cant believe you and Walt had Ben investigated after I told you he isnt capable of doing this, I
snapped, my hands on my hips.
Frank paused a few feet away from me and turned with an impatient glare. Look, Emily, I know this
had been incredibly stressful for you. But that doesnt mean you get to control the investigation. If we
hadnt looked into Ben, that would be another thing on the Portland PDs expanding to-do list. You were
right. We didnt find any reason to believe he was behind the attack. And now the PD can verify what
weve already found and move on to more important leads.
I instantly deflated. Oh well, that makes sense. Im sorry I yelled.
Its okay. Now, lets get going. You have some calls to make.
 CHAPTER 11

I waited until I was home to start making my calls. Nelsons final words had left me feeling on edge, and
Id learned my lesson about talking on the phone when my attention should be on something else. I did a
quick scan of all the rooms to make sure nothing was out of place, my phone in hand in case I stumbled
upon something suspicious. When I was satisfied that everything was in order, I sat down on the couch
and dialed my uncles cell number. He answered on the first ring.
Hey, kiddo. Whats going on?
I just left the prosecutors office. The police found footage of an unknown man breaking into my
classroom one night in early November. The charges against me have been dropped.
I pulled the phone away from my ear quickly as Walt let out a loud whoop. Oh, Em! Thats fantastic
news. I could practically feel him beaming through the phone.
Nelson warned me that theyve reserved the right to refile, I said, a weird combination of laughing
and crying hitching the words. If the investigation turns anything else up on me. But he doesnt seem to
think Im guilty. It was actually a pretty good meeting.
Sounds like it was a wonderful evening. I certainly hope your exoneration gets as much press as your
arrest did. Does this mean you and Ethan will be staying put?
I dont know, I said, sitting back on the couch in pure relief. We wont make any decisions until the
season is over.
What did he say when you told him the charges were dropped? Is he on his way to stand up to his
parents as we speak?
I havent told him yet. You were my first call. I covered my eyes with my hand, trying to hold back
the tears threatening to escape. Thank you so much for hiring Frank, Uncle Walt. And for being here for
me through all of this.
There was a long pause and I heard the click of his loud swallow. You dont have to thank me, kiddo.
Theres nowhere else I would have been. Thank you for calling me first. It means a lot.
Its instinct, I told him. But youre welcome.
This calls for a celebration. Call Ethan and your friends and tell them to meet us at Vinicios at eight.
Ill call and reserve one of the private tables. Drinks and dinner are on me tonight.
You dont have to do that, I argued. Vinicios was one of the most expensive Italian restaurants in
the city. I didnt expect Uncle Walt to be able to get a last minute reservation, and there was no way I
wanted him to spend that kind of money.
I can and I will, he countered. Dont sweat it, kiddo. Ive been flying Mr. Vinicio to LA every
Tuesday for the past three months. Hes more than happy to pay me with a meal instead of cash every now
and then. Ill get off here so you can share the good news with everyone else. Pamper yourself today, you
deserve it. Ill see you at eight. Love you, kiddo.
 I love you too, Uncle Walt. Ill see you soon.
I ended the call and immediately dialed Ethans number. It went to voicemail after four rings. I hung
up and texted him the news and the dinner invitation. I managed to reach Melissa while she was on lunch.
Much screaming and laughing ensued. She was thrilled and promised to meet us for dinner. My
conversation with Linda was almost identical.
I spoke with Principal Matthews, who was delighted to hear that the charges were dropped. He
promised to schedule the hearing with the school board and to put in a good word for me with the
members. He warned that I may be put on probation, but assured me that there was an excellent chance Id
be allowed back at work when school resumed after the new year. When I ended the call, I felt on top of
the world. And I had seven hours before I had to be anywhere.
Im sick of being behind closed doors. Im going shopping. And Im going to get my hair and nails
done. And if I happen upon a reporter, Ill tell them all about how my names been cleared.
I grabbed my purse, pulled on my overcoat, and headed back into the world. I drove to NoBu, a
neighborhood a little south of me known for its boutiques, restaurants, and nightlife. For the first time in
my life, I shopped like money was no object. Ethan and I were finally going to be free and I wanted to
look my best when we were out together. In three hours, I put a two-thousand-dollar dent in my savings.
My spending spree didnt end at the clothing stores. I found a salon with open appointments and
proceeded to get caramel highlights in my chestnut brown hair. A mani-pedi and a quick change later, I
walked into Vinicios feeling like an entirely new person.
Good evening, the hostess greeted me from behind the polished mahogany station. Table for one?
She spoke with a thick Italian accent and looked like a grandma from a pasta commercial.
Im actually meeting a group. I believe the reservation is under Kinkaid, I replied.
Recognition flashed across her face and she gave me a full smile. You must be Miss Emily. Yes,
follow me. I believe youre the last one here. Its so nice to finally meet you. Your uncle talks about you
all the time. He called today and said he needed our best table for you.
I followed her through the dim, elegant dining room to a circular booth in a far, private corner. Uncle
Walt, Claudia, Linda, and Melissa were already arranged around the table. I hugged them all and sat
down, checking my phone again to see if Ethan had called. I hadnt heard from him all day, and I was
starting to worry.
Im sure he got caught up in a late practice. They are playing a bowl game in a few days, after all.
Hell call when he can.
Emily, you look fantastic, Melissa gushed. I almost bought those exact pants last week.
I smoothed the legs of my new grey linen slacks and smiled back at her. Great minds think alike.
Uncle Walt told me to pamper myself, so I took his advice. I may have gotten a little carried away.
You deserve it, sweetheart. Did you talk to your boss? Any idea when you get to go back to work?
he asked.
Principal Matthews is scheduling a hearing with the school board. Theyll review the details of the
incident, and then rule whether to reinstate me or recommend to the state board that my license be
revoked. He seems to think the worst Im looking at is probation.
Why is probation necessary? Claudia asked. Id think theyd reinstate you immediately and
apologize.
I didnt tamper with the trail mix, but I wasnt paying as close attention to the kids as I should have,
I explained. I was actually on the phone with Ethan when Alfie collapsed.
 Its not like you turned your back and left them completely unattended, Linda interjected. Mrs.
Carver was there doling out cupcakes. Its understandable that you relaxed a little, knowing there was an
extra set of adult eyes in the room.
Im fine with serving out a probation, I assured them. I think its incredibly fair.
A short, jovial man approached our table and reached for Walts hand.
Walter, its so nice to see you. It makes me so happy that you came here for your special dinner. I
trust my wife is taking good care of you?
Walt shook the mans hand and smiled back at him. Marie has been wonderful, as usual. Id like to
introduce you to my niece and her friends. Emily, this is my good friend Mario Vinicio. His wife Marie
brought you to the table. Mario, this is Emily, and her friends Melissa and Linda.
Its so nice to meet you all, he replied with a nod. I apologize for not shaking your hands. Its okay
for Walter to smell like garlic and onion, but not you beautiful ladies. Claudia, its nice to see you again.
You too, Mario.
He smoothed the front of his white, tomato-stained apron and turned back to the kitchen. Your first
course will be out in just a second, he promised. Ill check on you again after dessert.
Thanks, Mario, Walt called after him.
Did you order before I got here? I asked.
Sort of. I gave Mario permission to plan our meal. Dont worry, everything he makes is delicious,
Walt assured me. Now back to what we were talking about. Did Principal Matthews have any idea when
this hearing will take place?
I shook my head. Hes supposed to call me when the board gets back to him with an exact time. But
he thinks theyll be able to fit me in before school resumes on the eighth.
Itll be so nice to have you back again, Linda told me. Sheryl Harper has been covering your class.
Shes capable enough, but she isnt exactly friendly. Your kids asked me when you were coming back
every day.
I cringed to hear that my class had been left with a teacher they didnt like.
She wasnt that bad, Linda assured me. But she wasnt you.
Are you nervous about being in the classroom again? Claudia asked.
I shook my head quickly. Im thrilled with the idea of being with the kids again, but Im afraid Ill be
a little jumpy. When I watched that footage it made my skin crawl. And Nelson seems to think we
should be on high alert for another incident.
Uncle Walts ears perked up. What? He thinks youre in danger?
Damn it. I shouldnt have said that. But if Walt didnt hear it from me, he was bound to hear it from
Frank.
I laid a calming hand on his arm. He thinks theres a chance. But he expects it to be similar to what
happened with the trail mix, not a direct attack. And thats if I was the intended target in the first place,
which I wasnt.
You sound awfully sure about that, Walt replied, his brow furrowed.
Who would want to hurt me, Uncle Walt? Your investigator already cleared Ben. No one else has
motive to want me in trouble. And Frank told me your PI has files on people linked to the Hollis family.
Still, I think its best that you stay at my place until this investigation is over. Or if you must, stay
with Ethan. But I dont want you alone at your place if the ADA has warned youre in danger.
Damn it, Uncle Walt.
Ethans place? Melissa asked, lifting one eyebrow with curiosity.
Uncle Walt turned beet red as he realized hed spilled my secret. I opened my mouth to defend myself,
but Mario chose that moment to reappear at our table.
For your first course, I prepared all of my favorite appetizers. We have muscles steamed in white
wine and herbs, hand tossed flatbread with assorted dipping oils, and, of course, some antipasti.
He arranged the dishes on the table, then left again with a bow. The food remained untouched, all eyes
on me.
Why would you stay at Ethans house, Emily? Melissa pressed.
I may as well tell them. This part was always going to suck. I just need to get it over with.
Ethan and I have been back together for weeks, I confessed.
How did this happen? Linda asked, excitement dancing across her face. Melissa was much less
impressed by my news.
Youve been lying to us? she asked.
I sagged in my seat and gripped my wine glass for support. Ethan came to my place about a week
after we broke up. He apologized. He explained things the way you did, Mel. I forgave him, and he
offered to leave the team so Victor wouldnt have anything to hold over him. But I couldnt let him do that.
Not once I understood how many people it would affect.
But you didnt tell us, Melissa said again.
I know. And Im sorry. Its not that I didnt trust you
She held up a hand. Thats exactly what its like. Listen, Emily, Im sure you had your reasons. And
Im thrilled youre not in trouble anymore. I dont want to ruin your night, so Im just going to leave. She
slid down the booth, forcing Linda onto her feet and out of the way.
Melissa, please
Well talk about this later, Emily.
She rushed from the restaurant without another word. I moved to follow her, but Walt grabbed my arm.
Shell calm down, he promised. Just give her some time.
Linda sat back down and we locked eyes.
Are you mad at me? I asked, pressing my hand to my stomach.
She shook her head. No. But I havent known you as long as Melissa. Her feelings are hurt. But
Walts right, shell calm down. Now tell me what youve been up to with Ethan.

***

I tried to enjoy the rest of dinner, but between Melissa storming away angry and Ethan being MIA, I was
too distracted. I did my best to stay engaged in the conversations, but the moment the dessert plates were
cleared, I made my escape.
I didnt check my phone until I was safely in my car. Ethan had sent a single text asking me to stop by
his place when I was finished at the restaurant. My heart sank and knots formed in my stomach as I
navigated toward his neighborhood.
 He didnt say anything about the charges being dropped, not so much as a congratulations. And he
didnt apologize for missing dinner. Something else is on his mind. This cant be good.
I pulled up to Ethans front door, my entire body shaking as I got out of my Prius. He opened the door
before I reached it and wordlessly escorted me inside. His jaw was clenched, and he looked angrier than
Id ever seen him.
Ethan, whats going on? I demanded, my words choked with worry. Did you get my message about
my meeting?
He nodded and pulled me into his arms. Im glad the charges were dropped, he said, his voice
almost lifeless. You look fantastic, Emily. I love your hair.
I gripped his arms, needing his strength to hold on to. Thank you, but dont change the subject. Youre
scaring me, Ethan. Whats going on?
Come on. Lets go sit down, he insisted, leading me to the sofa. I perched beside him on the edge of
a cushion and searched his face, desperate for any sign of what had him so upset.
When practice was over this afternoon, I saw your text, he began slowly. I came home to shower
and get ready for the dinner.
That explains why hes wearing slacks and a button-up.
My plan was to stop by my parents, tell them the news, and then meet you at Vinicios.
My heart sank. I take it they didnt react the way you expected them to?
He shook his head. They dont like you, Em. If I were you, Id take that as a compliment. But it does
present us with a problem.
How? I demanded. My name has been cleared. Victor has no grounds to release you from the
team.
He made it clear that hell create grounds, if he has to. It wouldnt be the first time. In a meeting I sat
in on as a kid, Victor was trying to force one of his partners out of a casino. The guy wouldnt play ball. A
few days later, he was arrested with twenty kilos of coke in his trunk. He tested clean, mind you, and
swore his innocence. But Id bet every dime I have that Victor planted those drugs.
You really think hed do something like that to you, just because he doesnt like me? And how can he
not like me? He and I havent even met. And your mother has spent all of five minutes with me. I dont
understand this, Ethan. Do they still think Im guilty?
He shook his head. I dont know. I think it has more to do more with Victors will than anything, to be
honest. He has twenty years on her. And if Im still single when he passes, the inheritance is split twenty-
eighty in her favor. But if I have a family, it goes to sixty-forty to me.
The information was shocking. You think shes sabotaging our relationship over money?
Thats her motivation for everything else she does, he replied grimly.
So let me get this straight. If we keep seeing each other, your stepfather will probably set you up to
take a fall for something you didnt do so he can force you off the team because your mother is worried
about how much of his money shell inherit?
Thats basically the gist of it, he agreed. Its disgusting, I know.
Does Victor know thats why she doesnt want us together?
I doubt it. Victor gives her what she wants and doesnt ask any questions. The ironic part is I dont
even want his fucking money. I paid enough attention growing up to know that a lot of it is dirty. And Ive
already earned more than half of his net worth all on my own.
 What?
I knew Ethan had his own money. Hed mentioned his investments and business deals before. But hed
never given me a dollar figure, and Id never asked. But I knew Victor Montez was worth roughly three
billion dollars.
He gave me an amused smile. I told you I could afford to give you whatever kind of life you wanted.
Did you think wed be using my parents money?
No I you never. More than half of Victors net worth? How?
You know how you send out announcements when you graduate high school and college?
Yes. I wish I could graduate twice a year. My uncle sent announcements to practically everyone wed
ever met. I think I raked in about two grand when I graduated high school, and five after college.
Exactly. Now imagine youd sent your announcements to five hundred of the wealthiest people in the
world.
Oh my God. How much did you get?
High school and college put together, I got half a million dollars in graduation money.
My mouth fell open.
I know thats kind of disgusting too. But I saw the money as my way to break away from my
parents. I started investing in the stock market. When that started getting a little too risky, I cashed out and
began investing in startups. I now own modest pieces in an extensive portfolio of worldwide businesses.
I squinted, trying to understand. What type of businesses?
All kinds. Restaurants, e-commerce companies. My EnvisonTech stock is probably worth the most. I
bought low when they first went public and held out when they went through all that trouble last year. But
those are just a few of the dozen investments Ive made. Well go over them later; weve got more
important things to think about at the moment.
Your parents. The words came out half cringe, half sigh. I dont see what there is to think about,
Ethan. If they dont want us together, theres not much we can do to change that. Well just have to keep
hiding until the end of your season. And I guess this means were moving.
Ethan nodded. If Im right about why my mother doesnt want us together, theres no way I can play
for the Stallions next season.
I gripped his hand, running my thumb softly over his thumb. And you arent ready to retire even
though you can already afford to live another hundred lifetimes without ever working again.
Im not ready to retire, he agreed. I still have four or five good years in me. And I definitely dont
want this nightmarish season to be my last. But Ill retire now with a smile on my face if you tell me
Portland is home.
I leaned into him. Ive been here longer than anywhere else. But home has never been a particular
place for me. Wherever the people you love are, thats home. And I love you, Ethan.
Everyone else you love is here, he reminded me. I feel selfish for asking you to leave them.
No law says we cant move back when you finally do retire, I pointed out.
Ethan relaxed against the back of the couch and pulled me to his chest. You know weve spent a lot
of time talking about the future, but weve been dancing around one particular topic.
What topic is that? I asked, already knowing exactly what he was talking about.
Well, youre willing to move away with me. Youre talking about moving back together years down
the road but neither of us have ever mentioned the m word.
I snuggled closer. I just assumed we were on the same page about that.
Oh yeah? What page are you on? he asked playfully, squeezing me a little tighter.
The page where we get married and live happily ever after. What page are you on? I leaned back
and stared at him, pretending to be worried.
That page, baby. Definitely that page. My stomach twisted as he cupped my cheeks in his hands and
kissed me hard on the lips. He pulled away, suddenly giddy with excitement. Did we just get engaged?
I think so, I agreed with a grin, happiness coming out of every pore.
Do you want me to get down on one knee and do this the right way?
I shook my head. The corners of my mouth ached from smiling so hard, but I couldnt stop.
I think the way it happened is perfect, thank you very much. It was exactly like the way we met
unplanned, unexpected, and exactly what was supposed to happen. I kissed him again, slowly this time,
reveling in the way his body felt against mine and the knowledge wed be together forever. Ethan kissed
me back just as passionately before pulling away in a sudden panic.
Shit, was I supposed to ask for Walts permission?
No, I assured him with an amused grin. Hed see that as archaic. He wont be giving me away
either, though Im sure hell walk me down the aisle.
Lets go ring shopping, Ethan insisted. He kissed me again, then pushed me off his lap and moved
for his keys.
Slow down, I teased. We cant so much as have a cup of coffee together right now, remember?
What do you think your parents will do if they wake up tomorrow to see pictures of us ring shopping all
over the internet? Besides, its like ten-forty-five. Jewelers arent open.
Youre right, he agreed, sinking back onto the sofa. Im just too excited. I want to make this official
and put a ring on your finger before you change your mind.
Thats the last thing you ever have to worry about, I assured him. I snuggled up close again and
looked into his clear blue eyes.
This has been hands down the best day of my life. This morning, I was terrified Id be carted off to
prison any day. I was afraid we didnt have a future. And now now everything is so perfect. I love you
so much, Ethan.
I love you too, Emily. And Im committed to making sure you have the perfect future you deserve.
I crawled back onto Ethans lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. I lowered my face to his,
teasing his skin with my lips.
I think a celebration is in order, Mr. McAlister, I whispered.
Ethan shivered beneath me and ran one hand up the back of my neck, cradling my head.
I think youre right, Mrs. McAlister-to-be, he replied before pressing his mouth into mine.
We moved together with fluid motions until I was on my back with Ethan hovering above me. I
fumbled with the buttons of his dress shirt, unable to see what I was doing because I refused to take my
lips off of his.
Just rip it, he directed urgently, dropping his lips to my neck. He teased it with long, passionate
kisses and then sat up as I gripped either side of his collar. I tugged hard, sending mother of pearl buttons
in all directions and exposing his perfect, chiseled chest. Ethan pulled the shirt down his arms and tossed
it to the floor as I ran my hands down his hard abs. He unfastened his belt and kicked off his slacks as I
slipped my hand down his boxer shorts. I gripped his long, thick cock and stared up at his perfect body.
Ethan closed his eyes, moaning in pleasure as I stroked him.
Oh God, Emily. I want you right now.
Then take me. I released him and stripped out of my clothes in record time, desperate to be filled.
He stood and stepped out of his boxer shorts before lifting me into his arms. I wrapped my body around
Ethan and his cock pressed into my pelvis. I lowered one hand and pushed the head of it inside me as
Ethan carried me toward the bedroom.
Oh Christ, Emily, he said into my hair as he staggered down the hallway. He let me fall a little,
impaling me deeper. I held Ethan tight and with each step he took, his cock rubbed against a different
place inside me. When we finally reached the bed, Ethan laid me on my back and drove the rest of his
shaft deep. I cried out with pleasure and pulled Ethans face to mine.
Open your eyes, I whispered. I tightened my pussy around him as I spoke and Ethans eyelids
fluttered for a moment before opening. I love you, I told him. I was so happy and so emotional, it was
all I could do not to break out in tears of joy. And I love knowing that no matter what happens, well
have this for the rest of our lives. Im going to make you so damn happy, Ethan McAlister, I promised.
Ethan rocked in and out of me, never breaking eye contact. I love you too, Emily. Youve already
made me the happiest man on Earth. If I had my way, wed never leave this bed.
He dropped his lips to my breasts, licking and teasing them as he thrust into me, harder and faster each
time. He pinched one of my nipples between his teeth, the other between his fingers. I felt my eyes roll
back in my head and he lifted his hand to my face.
Eyes open, he reminded me, stroking my cheekbone. I opened them and Ethan smiled, thrusting
deeper. Are you close, baby?
He thrust again and I moaned, too overwhelmed with pleasure to form words.
Me too, he whispered back. He hovered above me and covered my face with soft kisses. I moved
beneath him, meeting him thrust for thrust.
Im going to come, he warned, his eyes fluttering.
I held his face and he focused his gaze on me. I wanted to tell him I was close too, to just keep doing
exactly what he was doing. I couldnt speak, but Ethan seemed to read them in my eyes. He lowered his
lips to mine and kissed me, our tongues and mouths twisting. We came together. Our lips never parted.
Our gaze never broke. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
 CHAPTER 12

Emily, relax. You and Melissa have both had time to calm down. You just said yourself that talking
things out went well yesterday. As soon as she gets here, well break open the wine and youll see that
everythings back to normal, Linda assured me.
I sank down onto her white sofa and stared at the pregame show. I know youre right about Melissa. I
have a bad feeling about the game. I cant stand the thought of Ethan being hurt and not being able to get to
him.
It was New Years Day, and I was at Lindas house to watch Ethans bowl game. Henrys mother had
broken her leg two days before and was in Atlanta taking care of her, leaving just us girls. Melissa and I
had spoken the night before, not wanting to carry our fight over into the new year.
Ethans going to be fine. And look at it this way. If he gets a little bumped or bruised, the end of the
season will be over soon. I still cant believe youre moving. Any ideas where youre going yet?
I shook my head. It all depends on which team offers Ethan the best deal. He feels pretty confident
that hell get multiple offers. But we wont know for sure until hes able to actually talk to people about it.
We should have a pretty good idea sometime around Easter.
That doesnt give you much time to find a job, Linda warned. Are you thinking about taking a year
off?
I hope not. Well be in a new city and Ethan will be working a lot, so Ill need something to do with
my time. And I cant imagine doing anything else. I wouldnt be a very good stay at home girlfriend.
Linda gave me a sly smile. Girlfriend? she asked, her brow piqued with curiosity. Youre willing
to pick up and move God only knows where with the man. Im pretty sure that makes you a little more than
his girlfriend.
Says the woman whose boyfriend just picked up and moved here from Atlanta, I teased back. I had
every intention of telling my friends Ethan and I were engaged, but I wanted to wait until the three of us
were all together. At that point, only Uncle Walt knew. He gave Ethan and me his blessing and started
pitching the pros of a double wedding.
Linda frowned. Im not sure if youve noticed, but Henrys been in Atlanta almost as much as hes
been here.
Are you worried? I asked, my voice full of sympathy.
A little, she confessed. I dont think hes cheating on me or anything. But I think leaving his old life
has been a little harder than he expected it to be.
Im sure hell adjust, I promised.
I hope so.
A knock echoed through the room and Linda rose to her feet. She padded across the polished oak
floors and opened the door. Melissa stumbled in, her arms loaded with pizza boxes.
Sorry Im late, she offered. She set the boxes down on the coffee table and struggled out of her
bulky coat. The pizza place screwed up our first order of wings, so I had to wait for the second batch.
They threw in some free breadsticks though, so I forgave them. Did I miss kickoff?
No, youre just in time. I slid over on the couch, making room for my friends to join me. Linda
disappeared into the kitchen and returned a few moments later with plates and a huge roll of paper towels.
I uncorked the bottle of red, already waiting on the coffee table, and poured us each a glass.
I cant believe were having a football party, Linda said with an amused grin. Like me, shed never
taken much interest in sports before I met Ethan.
I cant either, Melissa agreed. And Id just like to say that this is awesome. Its so weird to hear
the two of you talk about interceptions and yard lines, but in the best possible way.
Want to hear something even weirder? I asked.
Always, she replied, her voice piqued with intrigue.
For the next few months, were going to be talking about things like centerpieces and maids of honor
dresses, I announced, my cheeks hurting with the enormity of my smile.
What? Melissa squealed.
I knew it, Linda added triumphantly.
When did this happen? Melissa pressed.
Just a few days ago. Obviously, we wont be making any public announcements for a while. Ethan
and I were talking about our future, and it just sort of happened. I dont have a ring yet or anything, but
Ive honestly never been happier.
Im thrilled for you, Em, Linda gushed.
Me too, Melissa added. I cant believe youre marrying Ethan McAlister. This is all so insane.
I know. I keep expecting to wake up and realize that its all been a dream.
So were planning the wedding in the next few months? Linda asked.
I nodded. I want to do it before we move.
That makes sense, she agreed. You know well help any way we can.
Of course we will. But right now, were missing kickoff, Melissa announced. She grabbed the
remote and turned up the volume. Linda opened all of the food, and we gorged ourselves while watching
Ethan lead his team to one of the most definitive wins in football history. The Stallions beat New Orleans
seventy-two to seven. We opened a third bottle of wine to celebrate the victory.
You know, Emily, this is a win for you too, Melissa told me. After the way Ethan played tonight,
hell have his pick of teams once he leaves the Stallions. The two of you have an incredible future in front
of you.

***

Good morning, sunshine, Ethan greeted me as I stepped into the kitchen. Christmas vacation was over,
and I was about to set off for my first day of work after Alfies incident. I was nervous but thrilled to be
with my students again.
Ethan stood behind the stove, scrambling eggs. He folded them onto a plate, added fresh fruit and a
yogurt parfait, and set the food on the kitchen table.
 Breakfast is served, darling. He pulled out my chair and I smiled back at him as I sat down.
Youre in a good mood, I said, biting into a ripe strawberry.
Im in the best mood, he agreed. Ive made a decision.
Whats that?
Im hot right now, baby. You saw the way my offense crumbled during the bowl game. Newscasters
are saying theyve never seen a single player carry a team the way I did. Victor would look like a fool if
he cut me, regardless of the reasons. So today, Im going to tell my parents exactly where they can stick
their opinions. And then, Im going ring shopping.
I gaped at him, another strawberry stuck between my lips, mid-bite. It dropped to my plate. Are you
sure about this? I hesitated; my nerves were already on edge without the added pressure of dealing with
the Montezs. I wanted to go public with our engagement more than anything, but I worried Ethan was
feeling a little too cocky after a string of big wins.
Im positive. If Victor tries to pull anything, well go public with our side of the story. I think I know
someone whod put us in front of the camera, he teased.
Im sure Melissa would love the story, I agreed. But were so close to the end of our original plan.
Im not sure rocking the boat is a good idea.
Well be fine, Emily. I promise. Youre just nervous about today. Thats completely normal after
everything youve been through. But the moment your kids start filing into the classroom, your nerves will
disappear. Weve been through hell, Em. But its over now.
I didnt feel as confident as Ethan, but I wanted to. I was tired of the sneaking around and hushed
phone calls. I decided to take a leap of faith. Okay, baby. This is your career and your family were
talking about. If you think its safe to tell them the truth, Im in.
He smiled and kissed the top of my head as I ate another bite of my eggs. Perfect. Now, you dont
want to be late on your first day back. Eat your breakfast, and Ill take you to your car.
Just think, baby, I said with a smile. This is the last time youll have to sneak me in and out of your
house. No more hotel stays, no more takeout food.
Im still very much in favor of takeout food, he teased. But yes, no more sneaking around. In fact, I
think we should make a public spectacle of ourselves in the very near future.

***

Ethan was right. The moment my students started arriving that morning, all of my nervous energy
disappeared. They greeted me with wide smiles and squeals of delight, begging me to never leave them
again. Under the advice of the school counselor, my kindergarteners werent told that my absence had
anything to do with what happened to Alfie. They asked me where Id been, and I told them I had some
grown up stuff I had to take care of. They accepted my simple explanation and asked if we could have a
longer than normal story time, as their substitute hadnt been a fan of reading out loud.
She played books on tape, Miss Kinkaid, Parker Murphy complained, his pudgy lower lip turned
down in the most adorable pout. It wasnt good.
Well definitely have extra-long story time, I promised.
The morning was fairly uneventful, and the kids and I happily fell back into our old routine. As
Principal Matthews had predicted, the school board had put me on probation instead of reinstating me
completely. But fortunately for me, they appointed Linda to supervise me. I was required to check in with
her twice a day, and she had been asked to pop into my room unannounced periodically. So really, it was
if nothing had changed at all.
I wasnt on recess duty, so I was able to take a little time to myself after my class finished eating
lunch. I walked the abandoned halls, picturing the man whod broken into my classroom and trying to
understand his motives. Knowing someone had invaded the school so easily was unsettling, and I couldnt
get it off of my mind. Distracted, I walked straight into Ben as he stepped out of the gymnasium. It took us
each a moment to recover from being startled, and then we stared at each other awkwardly.
Hey, Emily, he finally spoke, shoving his hands into the front pocket of his baggy athletic pants.
Hows your first day back going?
Pretty good, I replied, my voice light and easy. I no longer held any ill will toward Ben. Hed
certainly screwed me over, and hed acted like a child after Ethan and I got together. But given recent
events, he was the least of my problems.
Im glad, he said, his eyes shifting around the empty hallway. Look, I know Im a bastard for the
way things ended between us. And I know cornering you in the breakroom and outside the assembly was
way out of line. I I didnt handle things well, Emily. Im sorry about that.
Apology accepted.
Really? he pressed.
Really, I assured him and actually meant it. Look, Ben, I was pissed by how things ended too. But
in the long run, you did me a favor. Everything happened for a reason. Im happy now truly, almost
disgustingly happy.
Im glad to hear that, honestly. And Im so glad they lifted your suspension. When I found out what
happened to Alfie, I wanted to call and check on you. I never for a second believed that you poisoned that
little boy, Em. I cant imagine how being accused of it felt.
It wasnt my finest moment, I agreed. Im just happy Alfie doesnt have any lasting damage.
Though I dont blame the Hollis family for deciding to homeschool.
Ben nodded. Im surprised there hasnt been more of that since news got out about the intruder. Any
idea who that guy was?
I shook my head. None. You? The cops had passed the intruders picture around the faculty, but to
my knowledge nothing had come from it.
I wish I did. That ass deserves to rot in jail for the rest of his life. You know, for a while once I
realized how out of line Id been, I worried you might think I had something to do with it, he confessed.
It never even crossed my mind. Other people suggested it, I admitted. But I told them they were off
base. Weve had our issues, Ben. But I know youre not a monster.
I appreciate that, he replied, his voice genuine. I really hope we can be friends, Emily. I know
well never be BFFs or anything. But I dont want us to hate each other.
I dont hate you, Ben. And I dont see what the occasional friendly chat in the hall could harm.
But dont press it, buddy. We wont be the type of friends who hang out.
Bens face relaxed into a relieved smile. Thanks, Emily. I know this may be pushing it, but maybe the
next time Ethans cousin is in town, we could all go out to dinner. I promise I learned my lesson about
straying. I wont be that kind of guy anymore.
If Id had any idea what Ben was talking about, I would have been furious that he was trying to get me
to hook him up after everything hed done. But Ethan had never mentioned any cousins, so all I felt was
confused.
Cousin? I asked. Which cousin?
The pretty little blonde. She said her name was Heather.
Oh, Heather. I didnt realize the two of you had met. I wasnt about to tell him I had no idea who
Heather was.
Ben nodded. She was here. If I remember right, it was the Monday before Halloween. I was working
late with the sixth-grade basketball team. She stopped by the gym, introduced herself, and asked where
she could find you. I gave her your room number. Didnt she mention wed met?
I have no idea because I dont know who the hell she is.
Sorry, Ben, I said with an amused shrug. I guess you didnt make an impression.
He blushed and looked at the ground, awkwardly shuffling his feet. I suppose it would have been
pretty weird, anyway.
Yeah. We can be friends, but I think me setting you up on dates crosses the line. Im glad we talked
things out, but I need to get back to my room. Linda will be bringing the kids in from recess soon.
Of course. Thanks, Emily. Ill talk to you soon.
He ducked back into the gym and I carried on toward my classroom, a thousand questions and
scenarios going through my mind.
Ethans never mentioned anyone named Heather. And Ive certainly never met any of his cousins.
Theres only one explanation for this. The intruder had an accomplice. She came in to pinpoint my
classroom, and he came back a few days later to tamper with the snacks. But why? Who were they
trying to hurt, and which of us were just innocent bystanders?
I had tons of questions, but nowhere to go for answers. I was tempted to send Ethan a quick text and
ask if he had a cousin named Heather, but I knew I had to wait until after school. Getting caught on my
phone my first day back was the last thing I needed. I pushed the new information from Ben to the back of
my head and met Linda and the kids as they filed in from outside.
Can we have one more story time, Miss Kinkaid? Stella Benton asked.
Absolutely, I agreed with an indulgent smile.

***

Calm down, baby. Just take a deep breath. This will be over soon. And it wont be as terrible as you
think.
I rumpled my face into a frown and gave Ethan my best youve got to be kidding me stare.
Okay, that was a lie, he agreed with an amused laugh. Its going to be God awful. But well
survive. And as soon as its over, Im going to take you home and show you just how much I appreciate
you sitting through this with me.
A week had passed since Ethan stood up to his parents about our relationship. Theyd reacted exactly
how Ethan expected: they were pissed, but Victor hadnt mentioned sabotaging Ethans spot on the team.
Martha called Ethan that morning and insisted that we join them for dinner, so theyd have a chance to get
to know me. Ethan and I both knew their motives werent as innocent as theyd have us believe.
Are you sure I look okay? I asked, smoothing the skirt of my emerald satin cocktail dress. We were
eating at the Montezs home, but I still felt underdressed.
 You look fantastic, he assured me again. He turned the steering wheel to the left and the truck glided
up a majestic cobblestone driveway. The house at the end of it looked more like a centuries-old resort
than a single family home. The stone walls and thick glass windows looked as formidable as their
owners.
This is where you grew up? I asked as Ethan slid the truck into park.
Not really. Victor owned the place long before we met him. But we spent most of our time in Nevada
so he could keep an eye on some of his bigger investments. Mom and Victor didnt move in full time until
after he started the team.
This place looks like it needs a drawbridge and moat.
I know. Its Medieval and I hate it. But we dont have to stay long. I promise well make our escape
the first chance we get. Are you ready?
As Ill ever be, I agreed with a sigh.
Ethan got out of the car and walked around to open my door. I took his arm and we walked up the
stone steps together. When we reached the door, Ethan knocked once.
You knock at your parents house? I whispered out of the corner of my mouth.
They like to keep things formal, he explained.
The door swung open and a woman in an honest to God maids uniform greeted us with a warm smile.
Mr. Ethan, its so good to see you. Its been too long.
Thank you, Carlotta. Its nice to see you too. This is my fianc, Emily Kinkaid. Emily, this is Carlotta
Moore. Shes taken care of me as long as I can remember.
Its nice to meet you, Carlotta.
You too, Miss Emily. She looked me up and down, smiling her approval before turning back to
Ethan.
Your mother and Victor are in the dining room enjoying a cocktail. Dinner will be ready shortly.
Looking forward to it. I guess wed better go join them.
Carlotta disappeared through a swinging oak door and Ethan led me through the expansive marble
entryway. Oil paintings in antique gold frames adorned the walls and it seemed like everything I laid eyes
on was made of glass or stone. I wondered if all of Ethans childhood homes had been that cold and
unwelcoming.
We passed through a doorway into a formal dining room with the largest crystal chandelier Id ever
seen. A long, narrow table ran the center of the room, and Mr. and Mrs. Montez were already seated at the
far end. They didnt stand to greet us.
Ethan, its about time you got here, Victor greeted in a booming voice. We were just about to pour
our second round. Sit down.
Good evening Victor, Mother. Its so nice to see you, Ethan replied, ignoring the hostility in Victors
voice. I dont believe youve met my fianc. This is Emily. Emily, my stepfather, Victor.
Its very nice to meet you, Mr. Montez, I offered.
Yeah, you too, he replied, staring at the table.
Mother, you remember Emily?
Of course. Its very nice to see you again, dear. Would you like something to drink?
No, thank you, I replied as Ethan pulled out two chairs opposite his parents. I have to work
tomorrow, so Ill just stick with water.
Marsha studied me for a moment, her nose turned up as if I smelled bad. Very well, then. More for
the rest of us. Ethan?
He shook his head. No, thank you, Mother.
We sat in awkward silence for a few moments before I cleared my throat. Thank you so much for
having us over to dinner. Itll be nice to have a chance to get to know each other.
She sneered at me again and drained her glass. So Ethan tells me youre engaged, but I dont see a
ring on your finger.
Were having Emilys ring made, Ethan replied. I felt it was only right for a one of a kind woman
to have a one of a kind ring. If all goes as planned, it will be ready early next week.
Im sure itll be stunning, Marsha said, her voice flat.
A few more moments of silence passed, and then Victor and Ethan launched into a lengthy strategy
discussion about the teams next playoff game. I zoned out of the conversation, very aware of Marshas
piercing eyes on me.
It was tough to sit there and be polite when I had so many suspicions swimming around in my head.
After my conversation with Ben, I casually asked Ethan if he had any cousins. He listed several, including
a woman named Heather. When he questioned my curiosity, I told him I was working on the guest list for
the wedding. I didnt want to make any accusations about his family until Id worked things out in my
mind.
I was almost certain that Heather had been at the school under Marshas orders. Ethans mom had
orchestrated the entire incident as a way to push me out of her sons life. If it hadnt been for the schools
security cameras, and my ex-boyfriend, she probably would have succeeded.
Marsha and I ate our roasted duck and vegetables in relative silence while the men continued talking
about the upcoming game. When Carlotta finally cleared our plates, my heart danced at the thought that the
evening was finally over. It had been boring, but relatively painless, and I wanted to escape while our
luck held out. Victor and Marsha had other ideas.
Victor pushed his chair away from the table and motioned for Ethan to join him. Lets have a glass of
brandy in the library. I ordered a box of Cubans the moment the embargo was lifted and they just arrived
this morning.
Ethan stood and threw a questioning glance my direction. I gave him a slight nod, letting him know I
could hold my own with his mother.
Men will be men, Marsha sang as they left the room. She moved to the nearby buffet and poured
herself another cocktail.
Are you sure you wouldnt like something a little stronger?
Im sure, I replied. I prefer not to drink on school nights.
She nodded and returned to her chair. But that will all change soon, right? I cant imagine youd keep
teaching once youre married to my son.
I love what I do, Mrs. Montez. I dont plan to give up my career after Im married.
With all due respect dear, Im not sure corralling snot-nosed children for twenty-two thousand
dollars a year quite counts as a career. You cant tell me you wouldnt give that up to stay at home and
dote on Ethan.
First of all, my children arent snot-nosed, I countered, trying and failing to keep calm. And Id
never give up teaching, just like Ethan wont give up football. You know better than anyone that he could
afford not to work. He does it because he feels driven to.
And youre the same way? she pressed, her voice thick with doubt.
Yes, I am. Mrs. Montez, Im not a gold digger, if thats what youre trying to imply. I dont need
extravagant things. If I did, Id have chosen a different profession and earned the extravagant things
myself. I understand why you have your doubts. Ethan and I havent known each other that long, and our
relationship has gotten very serious, very quickly. But Im with him because I love him, no other reason.
She looked at me, thoroughly amused. That was a beautiful speech, darling. Tell me, was it your
passion for the children that made you turn your back on that poor little boy until he was nearly dead?
Her stabbing words cut through my last remaining ounce of self-control and I let my mouth fly without
thinking. Dont you ever mention that child to me again, I snarled. How dare you? Ive been sitting
here all night biting my tongue because youre Ethans mother and this is your house. But you just crossed
the line. I know what you did, Marsha. And Im going to prove it if its the last thing I do.
Exaggerated shock washed over Marshas face. I dont know what youre talking about.
Oh yes, you do. I know that you sent your niece to the school to figure out where my classroom was.
My niece? she asked, still pretending to be confused. Her refusal to admit what shed done fanned
the flames of my rage.
I know why you did it too, I continued. Ethan gave me the whole sick explanation. You have the
gall to sit there and insinuate that Im with Ethan for money. And the whole time youre the one pulling
strings and threatening children, all to make sure you inherit the bulk of Victors estate. Does your
husband understand the lengths youve gone to to keep your hands on his cash? Or does he just do
whatever you ask to keep you out of his face?
I knew you werent as sweet and innocent as Ethan wanted us to believe, Marsha hissed. I dont
know what the hell youre talking about, Emily. I havent threatened anyone. Im simply trying to ensure
my sons future happiness. And Im quite certain he could never be happy with you. After the way youve
spoken to me tonight, Im even more determined to keep you away from my son. She stood and pointed to
the door. Now get the hell out of my house. Ill let Ethan know youre waiting outside.
 CHAPTER 13

Geez, kiddo. That woman sounds like a real piece of work. Do you really think she was behind Alfies
incident? Uncle Walt asked.
I stabbed a bite of salad from my bowl and nodded. Its the only thing that makes sense, Walt. I
havent figured out how Marsha knew about Alfie and his allergies. But Im convinced shes the one who
sent those people to the school. I just dont know how to prove it.
I shoveled the ranch soaked lettuce into my mouth while Walt chased a mouthful of his BLT with iced
tea.
Is there any chance that PI of yours did any digging into the familys past? I asked after I swallowed.
He shook his head. No. But Ill have him get started on it asap. Honey, does Ethan know that you
think his mother did this?
No, I confessed. I told him that Marsha and I had gotten into an argument over the wedding, and
thats why she kicked me out. I know he claims not to feel anything for her, but shes still his mother. I
dont want to make any accusations until I have hard evidence to back them up. Anything less could just
put too much stress on our relationship.
More stress than keeping the secret? he pressed.
Believe me, Ive weighed all of my options. I want to be wrong, Walt. I love Ethan and in an ideal
world, his family would eventually accept me. My gut tells me Marsha is guilty. But if Im wrong, it
would make for unnecessary drama for the rest of my life.
I agree with you. Ill call the investigator as soon as we leave here. Aside from your horrendous
night at Montez Manor, hows life been going?
Fantastic. Being back at school feels so good. And everyone there has been so supportive. But
everyones still a little on edge. Well all breathe a lot easier when were sure the school is safe again.
Have the police kept you up to date with their investigation?
Nope. I talked to Frank this morning. He said hed call Nelson and ask if theyve made any
progress.
My phone chimed and we both looked down at it expectantly. Is that him? Walt asked.
I read the number and shook my head. I dont recognize the number. Its probably another reporter.
Since Ethan and I announced our engagement, the phones been ringing off the hook. I silenced the ringer
and took another bite of my lunch.
Speaking of engagements, have you and Ethan set a date?
Not yet. Id like to have the wedding over the summer so I wont have to juggle planning and work.
Ethans talking about staying with the Stallions for another season, now that Victors stopped throwing
threats around.
 Do you have to invite them to the wedding? Walt asked with exaggerated horror. Im not sure I can
stomach them after everything youd told me.
If Im right about Marsha, that wont be an issue, I reminded him.
My phone rang again; this time, it was Frank.
Maybe he learned something. I answered the call and activated the speakerphone.
Hi, Frank. Did you talk to Mr. Nelson?
Emily no, I didnt. Where are you right now? he asked, his voice tense and pinched.
Were having lunch at Darlas Caf, Walt answered for me. Whats going on, Frank. Have the
police found something else connecting Emily to the Hollis case?
Walt, thank God youre there. No, this is unrelated to the Hollis case. I dont want either of you to
panic. Im still not exactly sure whats going on, but I think you should get down to the North Portland
Police Station. I was just there on a pro bono case Ethan was brought in.
Ethan was arrested? I gasped.
Yes. Im not sure why. Ive put in calls to everyone I know, but no ones gotten back to me. Ive
thought about it, and Im turning around and going back to the station. Ill tell the cops Im Ethans
counsel. If his familys lawyers arent there yet, Ill have some time alone with him before they show up
and boot me out.
Were heading there right now, Walt told him. He laid two twenties on the table, more than enough
to cover our salads and teas. We raced out of the caf, still on the line with Frank.
Wait for me on the benches in the south atrium, Frank instructed. Ill meet you there as soon as Ive
learned something.
Will do, Frank. Thank you for letting us know, Walt replied.
I ended the call and Uncle Walt opened the passenger door of his black Charger. Dont panic, kiddo.
Im sure this is all some sort of misunderstanding.
He slid behind the steering wheel and navigated the car into traffic.
I missed eight calls while we were talking to Frank, I told him, lifting my phone. Four numbers I
dont recognize and four unknowns. What do you want to bet there are reporters all over the city who
know more about whats happening right now than I do? Im going to google Ethan and see what the hells
going on.
Dont do it, Emily, Walt insisted. I mean it. Ill pull this car over and take your phone away. You
just had a firsthand lesson in the way the media bends the truth. Anything you find online will be
sensationalized versions of the facts. Reading them will just make you feel worse.
I knew he was right, but I was desperate to know why Ethan had been arrested.
It feels like the nightmare is starting all over again. Only this time, Ethan and I have reversed roles.
Why dont you call Melissa? Walt suggested. She may be able to shed light on things and she wont
add a bunch of hearsay and suppositions.
I dont know why I didnt think of that.
I hit Melissas speed dial and she answered halfway through the first ring.
Emily, she exhaled my name and I knew shed been expecting and dreading my call.
Frank just called and told me Ethans been arrested. Walt and I are on the way to the precinct.
How much do you know? she asked, her voice hesitant with caution.
 Thats it. Ive ignored a bunch of calls that I can only assume were from reporters and I havent
looked online. How much do you know?
Late last week, someone called the leagues commissioner with an anonymous tip that several
players on the Stallions have been doping. The leagues medical team showed up at the stadium this
morning and surprise tested all of the players. Ethan didnt pass.
He was arrested for doping? The words felt strange in my mouth.
Uncle Walt was so caught off guard he nearly swerved into oncoming traffic.
Not exactly. Victor was in the locker room when they confronted Ethan with the results. Ethan got a
few punches in and Victor had him arrested for assault.
I knew it. Ethan got too cocky and thought he was too invaluable to the team for Victor to touch.
Ethan doesnt use steroids, I insisted. Theres an easy fix for this. As soon as hes released on bail,
well go to an independent lab and hell take another test.
Im not sure it will be that easy, Em, she warned. The league will want to verify any retests
themselves. And the blood test isnt Ethans only problem. The league doctors and half the team just saw
him beat the shit out of his stepfather. One of my colleagues has already done an on-camera interview
with Victor. He has a busted lip and his right eye is swollen shut. Its not going to make Ethan look
good Oh shit, Emily. My boss wants me. Ill talk to you soon. Im so sorry.
Thanks for filling me in. Ill call you when we leave the station.
Ethan was arrested for steroids? Walt asked.
I turned my phone off and slid it into my purse. No, Ethan was framed for using steroids. When he
found out, he beat the crap out of Victor in a locker room full of people.
Walt winced but kept his eyes on the road. That wasnt the best way to react. Though I have to admit,
I probably would have done the same in those circumstances. So he was arrested for assault?
I nodded. Im sure hes also been fired. Victor orchestrated the perfect plot to get rid of him. Hell
probably be lucky to ever set foot on a football field again.
Dont be so sure about that, Walt advised. I know this seems insurmountable right now, kiddo. But
people have forgiven much less deserving athletes for a lot more serious offenses.
Ethan doesnt deserve this.
You didnt deserve what happened to you, either. Neither did little Alfie. Neither of us deserved to
lose your parents, and they didnt deserve to die young. Shit happens every day to people who dont
deserve it, Emily. We can sit here and talk about how unfair it is, or we can focus on playing the hands
weve been dealt. I for one will be choosing the latter. As soon as we get to the station, Im calling the
investigator and putting him to work investigating Victor, Marsha, and Heather Montez. Im also going to
call a few of my Air Marshal friends. One of them might have a friend in Homeland Security who could
help us. I know the family is on the governments radar.
Youre right. This isnt fair, but focusing on that wont solve any of our problems. Forget what I said
back at the caf. As soon as I have a chance, Im going to tell Ethan that I think his mom set me up at the
school. Victor may have set him up, but it was on Marshas orders. Shes trying to take us both down and
if we have any hope of stopping her, we have to work together.
Now that sounds more like the girl I raised, Walt declared with a proud smile.
My life is still in upheaval, Walt. Im not sure the smile is warranted.
Im smiling because it just dawned on me that I wont have to share holidays with your in-laws. Ill
get back to my grim scowl when my relief wears off, he teased.
I smiled, despite my determination not to. Now that you mention it, Im pretty relieved about that
too.
Walt steered into the parking lot of the police station and we made our way to the south entrance. We
stepped through the smudged double glass doors and paced the atrium until Frank finally appeared.
Whats going on? Walt demanded. Weve been here for nearly two hours. Were you with Ethan the
whole time? Did his lawyer finally show up?
Youre looking at his lawyer. Frank sighed. Ethan called me not thirty seconds after I got off the
phone with you. For obvious reasons, the family attorneys cant represent him. I was so worried about
getting the news to you, the conflict issue didnt even cross my mind. Ethan asked me to represent him,
and I agreed.
Will he have to stay in custody until Monday? I asked. I doubted it was a coincidence that Victor set
Ethan up to be arrested on a Saturday.
No. I had to pull some strings, but I got a judge to hear the case and Ethans bail was set at fifty
grand. He can bond out for five, we just need you to get the cash.
Where am I supposed to get that much cash when the banks are closed? I demanded.
Ethans sock drawer, Frank replied without missing a beat. Hed also appreciate a change of
clothes and a pair of shoes. Hes still in his football pants and cleats. Ive arranged for us to go directly to
Portland General for another test once Ethans released.
Melissa said the league would want to verify any retests with their own doctors, I told him.
And that will be arranged, he assured me. Right now, its important to get a negative test
documented. Well release the results to the public immediately to quell some of the media frenzy. Youll
probably be swarmed with reporters when you get to the house. Youre free to deal with them however
youd like.
Ill talk to anyone who wants to listen. Ill tell them all that Ethans innocent.
Thats not exactly the case, Frank warned. Ethan may be innocent of the steroid allegations. But
hes guilty of assault. We dont have a defense, even if we prove Victor falsified his test results. The fact
that Victor deserved an ass whooping didnt make it legal for Ethan to give him one.
Is he going to serve time, Frank? Walt asked.
Not if I can help it. Were wasting time. Walt, its probably best if you go with Emily. Im going to
wait with Ethan. Call me if you run into any trouble, he instructed.
Same to you, Walt replied.
Tell Ethan well be back as fast as we can, I called over my shoulder as Walt and I headed for the
door. And Frank? Will you please tell him that I love him?
Will do, Emily.

***

Emily, Ethan, Im so glad you called. Ive been so worried about you, Melissa said, stepping into
Ethans living room. I hugged her and took her coat.
Thanks for coming over. We have something we want to talk to you about, I told her.
I joined Ethan on the sofa and Melissa took a seat in the armchair across from us.
 I take it this isnt a social call? she asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.
Not exactly. But for now, its all off the record, Ethan explained.
I cant wait to hear it. But first, how are you doing? Im so sorry for the way youre getting skewered
in the news. It isnt fair.
Life isnt fair, I told her, remembering Walts words. But youre right, the press has been
particularly brutal.
When I returned to Ethans house for the bond money, I gave a statement to the reporters gathered
outside. I assured them that Ethan was innocent of the doping charges and assured them the full story
would soon come to light. Four hours later, Portland General released the results of Ethans retest: he
tested negative for everything.
Id hoped that would subdue Ethans critics, but it didnt. The public trusted the leagues doctors and
assumed Ethan had paid for his negative results. And as Victor pointed out to anyone whod listen, Ethan
had already proven he couldnt control his violent temper. Wasnt that one of the classic signs of steroid
abuse? His plan worked perfectly and the country applauded him for firing such an uncontrollable
monster.
It took me three days to convince Ethan to even talk to Melissa about going public with our side of the
story. He kept insisting that he didnt want to air his family drama for the world to see, assuring me that
the truth would eventually come out. But that morning, one of the tabloids had run an old picture of me
with a black eye. The picture was from my sophomore year of college, when Id taken an elbow to the
face during a particularly difficult volleyball match. But the paper didnt explain that Id been a victim of
university mandated PE class. Their headline announced that Ethan McAlister was beating his fianc. The
moment Ethan saw it, he called Melissa himself.
The press isnt our problem, Ethan insisted. My mother and Victor are the problem. What were
about to tell you doesnt leave this room, Melissa. Not until we have evidence to back it up.
And when you have the evidence? she asked.
The story is yours, if you want it, he assured her.
Of course I want it. I assume this has to do with the threats Victor made before Christmas?
Ethan nodded. That and so much more. Emily told you what Victor said when he demanded I break
up with her. After the bowl game, I got cocky. I thought there was no way hed actually follow through
with any of it. I was wrong. But my mothers the one whos pulling all the strings.
And we do mean all the strings, I added. Im pretty sure Marsha sent the thug to my school.
As Melissa worked to pick her jaw up off the floor, I explained Marshas desperate determination to
keep as much of Victors money as possible. I also filled her in on Heather and her visit to my school.
This is your cousin? Melissa asked Ethan.
He nodded. Step-cousin. She has everything in common with Victor except his bank balance. Victors
a self-made man and hasnt been particularly generous to his extended family. But Heather would be more
than happy to do a little dirty work for a nice paycheck.
But we still have no idea who the guy that broke into your classroom is? she continued.
Not yet. But Walts investigator is hoping hell turn up among Heathers friends, I explained.
So at this point, were just waiting for the investigators to find something? she asked.
Pretty much, Ethan agreed. Emily wants to give an interview now in an attempt to quite some of the
rumors. I feel if we speak out before we have proof, well just make things worse.
 I agree with you, Melissa told him without hesitating. Im sorry Emily, but hes right. That headline
today was awful. But if you start talking now, without any evidence to back it up, its just going to look
like a lame attempt to turn the blame away from Ethan. Without evidence, Victor and Marsha can twist
your words however they want. You have to hit them with something they cant deny.
Thats exactly what Ethan said, I told her with a frown. But we have to do something. This is
getting out of control.
Then you need to find proof faster, she advised. Has your investigator checked with the airlines to
see if Heather flew into town around the time Ben saw her at the school?
Im not sure, I confessed.
Have you shown Heathers picture to Ben to make sure shes really the woman he spoke with?
No.
You think theres a chance someone was impersonating my cousin? Ethan asked.
Melissa shrugged. I think getting a positive ID from Ben is the fastest and easiest way to make sure
youre on the right track.
I turned to Ethan. Do you have a picture of her?
No, but I can pull one off the internet. Heathers the epitome of a social media whore. Ethan pulled
out his phone and a few moments later, he texted a picture of Heather to mine. I forwarded it to Ben and
asked if that was the cousin hed met at school. I checked the time after sending the text.
If hes still on his usual schedule, hell be at the club until nine tonight. We may have to wait a while
for a response.
It had to be Heather, Ethan insisted.
Melissa shrugged. You could be right. Or your mother could have had someone pretend to be your
cousin. They had to have known the visit would eventually get back to Emily. They could be distracting
you, drawing your attention to Kansas City.
Thats an excellent point, he agreed, running a hand through his hair.
Ive been known to make them. Now, lets focus on your situation. Obviously, I know youve been
fired.
Ethan nodded. The leagues anti-doping commission is reviewing the results of my second blood
draw. They may want to retest me themselves. But Ill eventually be cleared of the doping charges. Im
not sure that will help me get another football contract.
How do we prove that Victor set you up?
Ethan shrugged. Im not sure that we can. He apparently bribed one of the league doctors. But
Victors good at covering his tracks. And Im sure the doctor is highly motivated to keep his mouth shut.
The league wont ban you for a simple assault charge, she assured him.
True. But how many teams will want to hire me knowing I punched out my last boss?
Melissa rolled her eyes. I think most people whove met Victor have had the urge to knock him out.
Some people might even offer you a signing bonus to do it again on your way out of town.
Ethan let out a light laugh. Lets hope so.
My phone rang, drawing our attention. Is it Ben? Melissa asked.
Its Frank hello?
Hey, Emily. Im sorry to bother you this late, but theres been a development in the Hollis case.
 A development with our investigation or the polices?
Ethan and Melissa sat up a little straighter, listening in to my side of the conversation.
The polices. Theyve identified the man who broke into your classroom. His name is Kelvin
Rhoads. Hes a minor league thug who lives in Dallas, Texas.
Dallas?
Yes. They now think that whoever set you up is someone connected to Ethan. Theyd like to talk to
both of you down at the station. I explained that you didnt want to miss any more class, so the lead
detectives agreed to meet with you tonight.
Were on our way.
Emily, whats going on? Ethan asked patiently as I started rushing around the room, gathering my
things.
The cops identified the jackass who broke into my classroom. His name is Kelvin Rhoads and he
lives in Dallas. Does the name ring any bells? I slung my purse over my shoulder and turned to the door.
No, it doesnt.
Well, they want to talk to both of us. Looks like you may have been right, Melissa.
She stood and retrieved her coat. Ill go to the station and start researching Rhoads. Let me know if
Ben gets back with you about the picture. And call me when you leave the station.
Thank you, Melissa.
She pulled me into a hug and held me a few moments longer than usual. This is a good thing, Emily. I
know getting called to the station is stressful. But this is the beginning of the end of this nightmare, she
whispered.
Please let us know if you find anything, Ethan said. He held open the door and we filed out into the
night.
I will, she promised. Good luck.
Melissa climbed behind the wheel of her Focus and Ethan and I continued on to my car. I tossed him
the keys and settled into the passengers seat.
The cops think Im involved with this because of the Dallas connection, right? he asked, firing the
engine.
I reached across the console and put a comforting hand on his thigh. They dont think you sent the guy.
But they think you may know him. They probably just want to show you his picture and ask a few
questions about your time in Dallas.
Ethan nodded, his eyes fixed on the road. The past few months had taken a toll on both of us, and the
past few days had been the worst. We were exhausted, frustrated, and furious at our circumstances. But
they also brought us closer. I had no idea what the future would hold, but I had no doubt that wed face it
together.
After a few silent miles, Ethan cleared his throat. We need to tell the police our theory about my
mother.
I was shocked by his words. Ethan had been adamantly against sharing our suspicions with anyone
until we had solid proof.
Are you sure?
He nodded. We could be completely off base. But if were not, I dont think its a coincidence that
my mother brought her henchman in from Dallas. That throws the suspicion right back to me. At this point,
I completely believe that Marsha is capable of this type of evil. And that alone is reason enough to talk to
the police.

***

Good evening, Emily, Ethan. Thanks for coming down, Detective Dickson greeted us.
Were happy to help. I was relieved to see his cranky partner wasnt able to make it to the meeting.
Absolutely, Ethan agreed. Detective, Ive never met anyone named Kelvin Rhoads. And Frank
showed me the picture from the surveillance footage. I didnt recognize him.
I just have a few questions, the cop explained. Miss Kinkaid, Im sorry for the trouble you went
through at the beginning of the case. I hope you understand that I was just doing my job. And all of the
evidence
Pointed at me. I understand, I assured him. And I sincerely hope youre five times harder on
Rhoads once you have him in custody.
Any idea when that will be? Ethan asked.
Detective Dickson shook his head. Dallas PD is looking for him, but his last known address leads to
a condemned apartment complex. But trust me, hell get whats coming to him once hes back here.
He cleared his throat and turned to Ethan. Im afraid I have some uncomfortable questions. Its
probably best if we speak privately.
Emilys not going anywhere, Ethan insisted. We dont have any secrets. Ask me whatever youd
like.
Detective Dickson nodded. Youre facing assault charges at the moment. How often would you say
you lose your temper like that?
Ethans face flushed red. Ive defended myself when other guys started shit. But thats the first time
Ive ever thrown the first punch.
How many altercations would you say you were in during your time in Dallas?
Two, both with teammates. Alcohol was responsible for both, and no one held any hard feelings.
Dickson slid Ethan a yellow legal pad and a blue pen. Please write down their names. Ethan
scribbled on the paper while Dickson continued. How many women were you involved with while you
lived in Dallas?
Here it comes. This is the part he thought I shouldnt be here for.
That depends on your definition of involved, Ethan replied, his voice easy. I was thankful wed
already had this awkward conversation and I wouldnt be learning anything new. But I didnt relish the
idea of going over it again with an audience.
All definitions of the word, Dickson answered.
Well, we had three female trainers, I had a housekeeper
Personally involved, not professionally, Dickson interrupted impatiently.
I was friends with most of the cheerleaders. Friends only, nothing physical. I casually dated about a
dozen women while I lived there.
A blend of awe and disgust crossed the detectives face. At the same time?
No. And not all of the relationships were sexual.
 Dickson pointed at the legal pad. Names, he grunted.
Did any of these women get a little too attached to you? he asked. Any bad breakups? Did any of
the women threaten to hurt you or themselves after you ended things?
Why do you assume I was always the one to end things? Ethan countered.
It was Dicksons turn to blush. My apologies. But I still need you to answer the question.
No, Detective. None of the women I was involved with acted crazy when we ended because there
was never anything to end in the first place. I wasnt ready to settle down. I spent time with women who
shared that opinion. There was never any drama.
You think that one of Ethans exs hired Rhoads? I realized out loud.
Were investigating all possible angles. This is just one of them.
The blonde at the school maybe she really wasnt Ethans cousin. Or maybe Ethans right and
Marsha hired Rhoads to throw suspicion toward him. I cant believe the woman would rather send us
both to jail than part with the extra inheritance.
I cleared my throat. Theres something we should tell you, Detective.
No, there isnt, Frank interrupted. He locked eyes with the detective.
Would you like a few minutes of privacy with your clients? he asked.
Yes, Frank replied, his voice scolding.
What the hell have I done wrong now?
Dickson pushed his folding chair away from the table and moved to the door. Would anyone else like
coffee or danish?
No, thank you, we replied in unison.
What was that about? I asked Frank the moment the door closed behind the detective.
Thats exactly what I want to know. What do you need to tell Dickson?
I took a deep breath and filled him in on our theory.
When did you find out about this Heather woman? he demanded.
Last week. Im sorry, I assumed Walt told you, I replied.
Walt knows about this? he exclaimed.
Yes, I confessed, twisting my fingers together.
Im sorry, Frank. Im the one who wanted to keep this theory quiet. Im in an impossible situation and
I didnt want to make accusations about my family without proof.
Frank shook his head. You should have talked to me as soon as you found out that woman was at your
school. You two could get in real trouble for withholding evidence in an ongoing investigation.
I felt my phone vibrate against my leg and retrieved it from my purse. Ben had finally responded to my
text. Ethans cousin wasnt the woman he met at the school. I gave Frank and Ethan the news.
What do we tell Dickson? Ethan asked.
We tell him the truth mostly. You have to tell him that you talked to Ben last week. Then Ethan was
arrested, and you forgot about the conversation. Today, you mentioned the visit to Ethan. You started
talking, got suspicious, and sent Heathers picture to Ben.
Sounds good to me, Ethan agreed.
The door opened and Dickson peeked his head in. Do you need a few more minutes?
 No, were ready for you, Frank answered.
The detective sat back down and took a long sip from a small Styrofoam cup. What did you need to
tell me, Emily?
I repeated exactly what Frank suggested, with a few added embellishments. We were going to call
you as soon as Ben got back with us. But as you can see, that just happened.
This is fantastic, Dickson announced. Ill speak with Mr. Simmons tomorrow. Once I get him to
narrow down the timeline, Ill have my guys review the security footage again. If we can ID the female
subject, well double our odds of tracking these people down.
I exchanged a glance with Ethan and he cleared his throat.
Detective, theres another angle you might want to look into.
Whats that? Dickson looked up from the notepad he was writing on.
Ethan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I think my parents are involved, he confessed. My
mother, mostly.
Interesting what makes you think that?
After Emily was arrested, my parents tried to blackmail me into breaking up with her. We pretended
to stay apart to keep them pacified. When Emilys name was cleared, I expected them to relax. Instead,
Victor made it clear he would tank my career if I didnt do as my mother said. I believe youve seen the
rest play out in the news.
You think your parents sent our suspects to the school?
I think its possible. I think my mother is capable of anything, Ethan agreed with a cringe. I knew
that as much as he hated what his parents were doing, it pained him to give them up to the police.
If your parents were this determined to get rid of Emily, and you believe theyre capable of anything,
wouldnt it make more sense for them to go after Emily directly? Why involve the Hollis boy at all? the
detective countered.
Ethan shrugged. She must have trusted someone would notice Alfie collapse, and hed get his Epi-
pen in time. Emilys ruined and sent to prison, but Marsha has no actual blood on her hands.
Detective Dickson shook his head. For what its worth, I believe your stepfather set you up on the
doping. But Im not buying your theory that your mother is involved with the Hollis case. To be honest,
this interview was just a box I had to check off the list for the sake of being thorough. We have to
investigate all connections, and Dallas connected our guy to you. But I think the Hollis family was the
intended target. I expect our mystery woman will be linked to them, somehow. Is there anything else I
need to know before we wrap this up?
Ethan and I both shook our heads.
Weve told you everything, Detective. Like I told you the first time I was in this room, we want to do
everything we can to help, I replied.
Do you happen to know Mr. Simmonss schedule? Id rather not interrupt any of his classes if I can
help it.
His planning period is from two to three. If you want, Ill tell him to expect you.
That will be perfect, he agreed. He got back on his feet and ushered us out of the room.
Just hold tight, kids. I know this has been rough. But now that we have pictures of two suspects, its
only a matter of time before theyre in custody.
 CHAPTER 14

I cant believe how many reporters are outside, I groaned, my stomach churning with nerves. I looked
around the packed courtroom and wondered how many of the spectators believed I was a battered
girlfriend.
Its going to be okay, kiddo, Walt assured me. Frank told me he spent a lot of time on the phone
with the prosecutor this morning. I dont think this hearing is going to go the way youre expecting.
I hope youre right. But I have to say Id have a little more faith if Frank were here. Ethans hearing
starts in five minutes, I whispered, my pulse racing.
After a lot of thought, Ethan decided to change his plea to no contest to the assault charges instead of
continuing on with a trial. Frank spoke to the prosecutor, who agreed he wouldnt push for jail time.
I stared at Ethan as he sat quietly at the defense table. I wanted so badly for the nightmare to be over
for him. I said a silent prayer that the prosecutor would keep his word and Frank finally pushed through
the courtroom doors.
Sorry, he whispered as he passed us.
He moved with quick, excited gestures as he made his way to the front of the courtroom. He dropped a
file on the prosecutors desk before taking a seat next to Ethan. They huddled together and after a few
moments, Ethan pulled away looking just as excited as our lawyer.
Oh my God. Did we finally catch a break?
A wave of adrenaline washed over me and my heart skipped with excitement. Something happened
and by the looks of it, it was good news.
All rise, the bailiff instructed. This court is now in session. Her Honorable Judge Liesel Henshaw
is presiding.
A tall, formidable looking woman with a round face stepped through the side door and settled down
behind the bench.
You may be seated, she called out. She slid a pair of reading glasses up her nose and peered down
at the file.
Were here to discuss the charges against Ethan McAlister, she began. Mr. Feldstein, feel free to
begin your opening statement.
The prosecutor rose to his feet. Your Honor, the defendant himself has admitted he assaulted Mr.
Montez. Why he entered a not guilty plea is beyond me, quite frankly. The defense is going to try to
persuade you to believe Mr. McAlister was provoked, and therefore not responsible for his actions. I will
call multiple witnesses who witnessed the attack first-hand and can attest to the fact that Mr. McAlister
was completely in control. I trust that your honor will see the defendants excuses for exactly what they
are: excuses.
 The prosecutor returned to his chair and Frank left his. Your Honor, the states witnesses will not be
necessary. Were willing to concede that Mr. McAlister hit Mr. Montez several times with his closed fist.
We simply request that the court listen to a new witness who just came forward this morning.
If youre admitting your clients guilt, I think were done here, the judge replied, her voice irritated
and dismissive.
Your Honor, due to my clients profession, the state has charged him with second-degree assault.
They basically declared his body a deadly weapon. I feel the new witness will shed light on my clients
behavior and perhaps persuade you to reduce the charges.
Mr. Feldstein? the judge asked.
He cleared his throat and rose slightly out of his seat. If the defendant is admitting guilt, the state is
fine with the defenses request.
Very well, counselor. But make your point quickly.
The defense calls Doctor Harold Levin to the stand, Frank announced.
A tall man with gray hair and fallen, defeated shoulders made his way to the stand. The bailiff swore
him in and Frank approached the stand.
Doctor Levin, please tell us where youre employed.
I am the lead physician for the National Anti-Doping Initiative.
Frank nodded. You drug test athletes predominately, yes?
Yes, he agreed, his eyes darting nervously around the room.
Were you present when the defendant was tested at Stallions Stadium on Saturday, January ninth of
this year?
Yes, he agreed again, his voice heavy with guilt.
The results of that test?
They were positive.
Positive are you aware that seven hours later, the defendant had a second test, which came back
clear of any drugs? And that hes passed two subsequent tests?
Yes, Im aware.
Your lab is currently verifying the results of those tests, correct?
Correct.
Where is this going?
The doctor was sweating so hard, I half expected him to melt into a puddle on the witness stand.
Doctor Levin, how long do anabolic steroids stay in someones system?
Two to three months, in most cases.
As an expert in this field, how do you explain the contradicting test results?
The doctor let out a long breath and closed his eyes. I altered Mr. McAlisters results at the request
of Victor Montez.
I must be dreaming. This is too perfect to be reality.
Did Mr. Montez pay you to alter the results? Frank pressed on.
No. Mr. Montez has certain evidence of a personal indiscretion. He blackmailed me into changing
the results.
 Thank you for coming forward, Doctor Levin. I have no further questions.
Frank returned to his table and the prosecutor sprang to his feet.
Doctor Levin, what is the nature of this so-called evidence Mr. Montez has against you?
The pained look on the doctors face made my heart ache for him. I hated that the prosecutor asked the
question, but I was curious to hear the answer.
I cheated on my wife, Levin confessed. It happened several years ago, at one of Mr. Montezs
casinos. He has video that I thought would ruin my life.
And why have you come forward now? Did Mr. McAlister offer you protection, money?
No, sir. I came forward because its the right thing to do. Its what I should have done in the first
place, after Victor confronted me with the video. I confessed to my wife yesterday and called Ethans
attorney this morning. I fully understand that coming forward means the end of my career. But I couldnt
live with myself if I hadnt.
The prosecutor nodded. Did Mr. Montez tell you why he wanted you to tamper with Mr. McAlisters
test results?
He said Ethan wasnt doing as he was told and needed to be taught a lesson.
Thank you, Doctor. I have no more questions.
The witness is excused, the judge declared.
The prosecutor stayed on his feet. Your Honor, the defendant has already admitted his guilt. The state
is willing to reduce the charge to fourth-degree assault, in light of the new witness.
Very well, counselor. I approve. Mr. McAlister, please stand.
Ethan and Frank rose to their feet.
I hereby find you guilty of assault in the fourth degree. I understand that Mr. Montez provoked you,
and I find it appalling. As was your reaction. Im sentencing you to two years of probation and a six-
month anger management program. I understand that violence is a part of your life, Mr. McAlister. But
keep it on the football field. If I see you in my court again, I wont be so lenient.
Yes, maam, he replied with a grateful nod.
Court is dismissed, she declared. She halfheartedly knocked her gavel on the desk and Ethan turned
to me with a sad smile. I leaned over the half wall partition and wrapped him in a hug.
This couldnt have gone better, I whispered into his ear.
I know, he agreed, holding me tighter. A part of me was still hoping Id get out of this without
probation. I need to talk to Frank and see if Ill be required to stay in Oregon.
I know youre worried about your career. But Im happy just knowing youre not going to jail.
Thats definitely an upside, he agreed, pulling away with a grin.
Congratulations, Ethan, Walt said. He reached for a handshake and pulled Ethan into a hug. Im
going to introduce myself to Doctor Levin and thank him for coming forward. Want to join me?
Definitely, Ethan agreed.
In a minute. First, Im going to the restroom, I told them.
Ethan planted a soft kiss on my forehead, then he and Walt joined Frank and the doctor near the
witness stand. As the relief started sinking in, I suddenly became very aware of the crowd and all the
noise they were making. No one was leaving the courtroom, and I realized they were all hoping for a
photo op.
Nice. Yesterday, they were ready to lynch him.
I was relieved to find the womens room empty. I peed, washed my hands, and nearly walked straight
into Marsha as I swung open the bathroom door. She stumbled backwards a few steps, then met my eyes
with a glare.
What the hell are you doing here? I demanded. I looked her up and down, a bit confused by her
sudden change of style. Shed traded in her usually tailored looked for baggy mom jeans and an oversized
sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled into a low, messy ponytail and her face was cosmetics free.
She must have wanted to blend in with the crowd.
I came to support Ethan, she lied.
Thats horseshit and you know it. You set all of this in motion. You have no regard for anyone but
yourself, do you, Marsha? You tried to mastermind your own childs destruction. Not to mention what you
did to poor little Alfie.
Her eyes widened and I could tell my last comment caught her off guard. That little boy from your
class? You think I was the one who hurt him? I could tell the confusion in her voice was genuine, but it
didnt slow me down.
Dont stand there pretending to be innocent. Ethan and I both know what youve been up to. Now if
youll excuse me, I need to get back to my fianc.
I pushed past her and continued on to the courtroom. Walt and the bailiff were waiting for me just
outside the door.
Ethan was about to be mobbed, so a few of the guards escorted him and Frank to the car, he
explained. Officer Carlton waited to escort us.
Thank you. Im ready to get out of here. I took my uncles arm and he gave it a gentle pat.
Im sure youre ready to relax, now that all of this is over, Walt observed.
Who said anything about relaxing? Now that I know neither of us is going to prison, I have a wedding
to plan.

***

Want another glass of wine, baby? Ethan asked. He stood at the bar cart and poured himself a third
glass of sangria.
No, two is my limit tonight. Its a school night, remember? Besides, we still have a ton of work to
do, I reminded him. Ethan and I were in a spare bedroom he was converting into a home office. I sat
crossed legged on a leather chaise lounge with two different binders in front of me. One was full of
wedding plans, the other held ideas for renovating the house.
In the past two hours, weve agreed on a location, finalized the guest list, and hired a caterer. What
else could we possibly have to do?
I flipped through the wedding binder. Well, we have to choose our colors, decide if we want a DJ or
a band, you still need to pick your groomsmen, we need flowers, linens, the list goes on and on. And we
told the contractor wed have our tile and carpet decisions to him by Friday, and we havent even opened
that box of samples he sent over.
Okay, okay, Ethan relented. We have a ton to get done. But I feel like weve been moving ninety
miles an hour since the hearing. I think we deserve to slow down and catch our breath.
 I sighed and closed my binders. I know. But I have so much extra stuff coming up at work. And
weve booked the garden for June. I feel like if I dont get everything in order now, were going to run out
of time.
Ethan sat down on the chaise lounge and wiggled behind me, pulling my back to his chest.
Fine, we can keep planning if you want, he relented.
I pushed the binders to the foot of the chair and snuggled against Ethan. Youre right. We deserve a
chance to catch our breath. Just as I was getting comfortable, Ethans phone rang. He shifted his weight
to one hip and pulled the phone from his pocket. He started down at the screen, obviously confused.
Who is it?
Mark Daniels. Hes the team manager. Im sorry, Em. I have to take this. Hello?
I slid forward so Ethan could stand up. He crawled out of the chair and started pacing the room.
No no, Emily and I have gotten out of the habit of watching the news. No reporters. We have an
app that sends unrecognized numbers straight to voicemail Really? I had my suspicions, but I never
imagined it ran that deep. Yes, it is a shame I see. Are you sure?
Excitement grew in Ethans voice and he turned to me with a smile, still talking to Mark. Thank you
very much, Mark. Yes. Yes, I agree. Let me talk to Emily and I will call you back okay, talk to you
soon. He hung up the phone and let out a triumphant yelp.
Whats going on? I asked.
He pulled me to my feet and wrapped me into a bear hug. Youre not going to believe this. Victors
been arrested.
What?
He released me and nodded, the jubilant smile still plastered across his face. After the hearing, the
prosecutor sat down with Doctor Levin. The doctor gave him enough information for the judge to sign off
on a warrant. The cyber division broke into Victors email account. Hes been arrested for everything
from conspiracy, coercion, fraud, and a host of other crimes.
I cant believe it. This is such wonderful news! I hugged him again, elated. Ethan squeezed me once
and then pulled away.
It gets even better. Victors in deep shit. So deep that the league has ruled him unfit to own a
franchise. Seems old Vic has violated nearly every article of that morality clause he was holding over my
head.
So who owns the team? You?
He laughed, shaking his head. No. Victor still owns it at the moment. But hes been stripped of all
control and hell be forced to sell the team. Mark is in control, temporarily. And he just offered to
reinstate my contract, effective immediately.
Is he going to let you play next Sunday? I asked, my voice dancing with excitement. The Stallions
had managed to win their last two playoff games without Ethan, and theyd qualified to play in the Super
Bowl. Ethan had been happy for his old teammates, but I knew it killed him not to be able to join in their
victory.
Yep. He doesnt think my replacement can stand up to Philadelphia.
This is wonderful. But what about your probation? I asked. I didnt want to put a damper on Ethans
joy, but I also didnt want to see him get his hopes up, only to be crushed later on.
Mark has already spoken with my parole officer. I have permission to travel with the team. He
raised a hand for a high five.
I breathed a sigh of relief and smacked his palm. This is really happening? Everythings really
working out?
Its really happening, he agreed. Were free, Emily. Victors going to prison for a very long time.
He cant hurt us anymore. Were free to be together, to do the work we love, and we dont have to look
over our shoulder wondering whats going to happen next. This couldnt have worked out any better.
I think a celebration is in order, I announced. I refilled our wine glasses and passed one to Ethan
before lifting mine in a toast. To our freedom.
Damn right, Ethan agreed. He lifted his glass to his lips. I set mine down on the bar cart and boldly
stripped out of my clothes, holding his gaze.
I like the way you celebrate, he told me with a grin.
I sat down on the chaise and beckoned for him to join me. When he reached the chair, I grabbed him
by the hips.
Im so proud of you, I told him, staring up into his blissful blue eyes. I unfastened the button of his
jeans and slid the zipper down. Ethan smiled down at me and tugged his pants and boxers down his thighs.
His hard cock was eye level and I dove for it, stroking his shaft as I ran my tongue across the head. Ethan
groaned and ran his fingers through my hair as I took him deeper into my throat.
Oh God, Emily, he groaned.
I pulled away and stroked him firmly with both hands. You like that, baby? I purred.
Yes, he gasped as I took him into my mouth again.
I stroked his shaft with one hand and teased his balls with the other, all the while swirling my tongue
around the head of his cock.
I dont want to come yet, he growled. He took me by the shoulders and gently pushed me onto my
back. I scooted backwards on the chaise with Ethan following on all fours. I propped myself up and Ethan
buried his face between my legs. He licked and sucked my clit before pushing his tongue inside me. He
stroked my clit with two slick fingers, pushing me closer to the edge.
Are you going to come for me, baby? he asked, replacing his tongue with his fingers. He found my
G-spot and pressed it firmly as he lashed my clit with his tongue.
Yes, I cried out. Oh God, Ethan yes.
He increased the pressure of his mouth, lashing and sucking my clit as his fingers worked their magic.
I let out an instinctive growl and tugged Ethans hair as I came with a gush. Ethan crawled on top of me
and cradled my face, kissing me tenderly as he slowly pushed inside me. I was still riding the waves of
my first release, and the throbs of Ethans cock sent me directly into my second. I dug my fingernails into
his back and held tight as he slowed his body.
Do you need a minute? he said into my ear and I felt the strain in his words.
No, I insisted, rocking against him. I dont want it to stop. Dont let it stop, I begged.
Ethan lowered his head and ran his lips across my neck as he drove in and out of me. Maybe it was
the way he moved, or maybe it was the relief of finally being free from Victor. It was probably a
combination. But the sex Ethan and I had that night was unlike anything Id experienced before or since.
We moved together perfectly, as if wed truly become one person. Id had multiple orgasms before, but
this was different. Waves of ecstasy washed over me like the tides, ebbing just long enough for me to
catch my breath before overwhelming me again. My body clenched and curled, and Ethan seemed to grow
longer and harder with every thrust. When he spasmed and filled me, I finally understood what it meant to
feel the earth move.
Ethan collapsed by my side and pulled me into his arms. I curled around him, my muscles still
uncontrollably clenched.
That was incredible, baby, he said, still struggling for breath.
Amazing doesnt even begin to describe it, I corrected him. You may have to move me to bed later.
Im not sure my legs will ever work again.
Ethan laughed and sat up. He massaged my thigh and a look of shock crossed his face. You werent
kidding. Your legs feel like rocks. Are you okay?
I smiled and ran a finger through his damp hair. Ive never been better.

***

Hows Ethan holding up? Uncle Walt asked. Im glad his name has been cleared. But I dont imagine
all of the press his parents are getting has been easy.
Its been rough, I agreed. But I dont think the news stories are bothering him as much as the calls
from his mother. All of the Montezs bank accounts have been frozen. Marsha expects Ethan to help her
leave the country before shes indicted.
That woman has some nerve, Walt said, gritting his teeth. He took a long sip of his chai and stared
out the caf window. Ethan was at practice and Claudia had been called into the ER, so my uncle and I
were having an impromptu early dinner.
News of Victors arrest spread like wildfire. Several twenty-four-hour news stations had already
done hour long specials on the story, recounting all of the past crimes Victor had been suspected of but
never charged for. Pundits were in agreement that Marsha Montez was just as guilty as her husband. The
FBI had taken control of the investigation, and they were much more closed lipped than the local PD.
Ethan and I didnt know for sure if Marsha was being investigated. But by her frantic voicemails, it was
clear she expected to be arrested at any moment.
She really does, I agreed. I spoke to Dickson yesterday. So far, they havent been able to ID the
female suspect. Shes much shorter than the man and she was wearing a ball cap in the surveillance video,
so they werent able to get a clear picture of her face. But the Dallas PD thinks theyre closing in on
Rhoads.
I know you really want to see Marsha pay for what she did to your student. Personally, Ill be happy
just to see her locked up and out of your life. If the feds take her down before Dickson, so be it.
Our waitress arrived at the table with our food. She set a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup in
front of me. Walt opted for pastrami on rye and fries.
Would either of you like another drink from the coffee bar? she asked.
We both shook our heads. No, thank you, Walt replied.
She refilled our water glasses and moved on to another table. I dunked the corner of one of my
sandwich halves into my soup and waited for the toasty bread to soak it in.
I agree that putting Marsha somewhere she cant hurt anyone is best for everyone. And ultimately, I
dont care how or why it happens. I just want the Hollis case solved for the sake of the family. They went
through hell and they deserve to understand why. However demented the motives were.
Thats understandable. How close do the Dallas boys think they are to bringing Rhoads in? he
asked, popping a ketchup-drenched fry into his mouth.
Theyre pretty sure hes working under the table at a mechanics shop in North Dallas. They havent
pinned down his schedule yet and they dont have enough manpower to keep a stakeout team nearby. But
theyre driving by a few times a day, looking for signs of him.
If manpower is a problem, well hire someone, Walt insisted. Or Ill fly down to Dallas and stake
the place out myself.
I shook my head, a small smile playing on my lips at the image of Uncle Walt with binoculars glued to
his face. Ethan suggested hiring a PI, but Dickson said it wasnt a good idea. He said its critical that this
case is handled by the book. Ethan promised to hold off on the idea for a few more days.
Well, if theres nothing we can do about it for the moment, lets change the subject, Walt suggested.
I can hardly remember the last time we talked about something other than police investigations and
criminal charges. Lets talk about something normal, something happy.
Ethan and I set a date, I told him with a grin. Were getting married on June eleventh at the Portland
Botanical Garden.
Walt let out an impressed whistle. Wow. That will be beautiful, Emily. Does this mean youre going
with the big, extravagant wedding Ethan wanted?
When Ethan and I started planning our wedding, I was shocked to hear some of his ideas. His guest
list looked like a whos who of the most influential people in sports, and he suggested we hire the recent
Best New Artist recipient to perform at the reception, which he expected to last two days. Id
immediately reined him in, reminding him that the day was supposed to be about us and our future. I
wasnt interested in throwing the Wedding of the Century. I wanted to celebrate becoming his wife with
the people who actually mattered to us.
Sort of we compromised. Ethan has a lot of friends on the team, and I understand why he doesnt
want to leave any of the other Stallions out. So he cut the list to the team and other friends. Its still going
to be five times bigger than I pictured, but Ethan gave up on the two days after party idea.
I have news on the wedding front as well, Walt shared. Claudia and I want to keep things as stress-
free and fun as possible. Were older, and neither of us is interested in having a big formal affair. Weve
decided to get married in Vegas.
Thats perfect, I agreed with a smile. In fact, Im jealous.
Well, were planning to do it over your spring break, so you and Ethan can come with us. Maybe you
can talk him into it while were there.
I cant wait. But Im not sure Ethans parole officer will give him permission to fly to Vegas. Which
is a shame, because Id honestly love nothing more than a quickie elopement.
I spooned another bite of hot soup into my mouth and my phone started chiming from my purse.
Thats Franks ringtone, I announced. I retrieved the phone and answered it on speaker.
Hey, Frank. Youre on speakerphone. Walt and I are having an early dinner.
Walt, you were my next call. I just got off of the phone with Dickson. The Dallas PD picked Rhoads
up outside his place of employment early this morning. He postured for a few hours and insisted they had
the wrong man. But it didnt take them long to break him. He gave a full confession. Dicksons willing to
talk us through it if we want to drop by the station. Hell be there late processing Rhoads extradition
paperwork.
I breathed a deep sigh of relief. Did he tell them Marsha was involved?
 I dont know any details, Emily. Dickson didnt want to get into specifics over the phone.
How far are you from the station? Walt asked him.
I could be there in twenty minutes.
Emily and I are a little farther out. Meet you there in half an hour?
Sounds good to me, Frank agreed.
The line went dead and Walt met my eyes with a wide smile. Its finally over, kiddo. The Hollis
family will have their closure and you and Ethan will be safe from his monstrous mother.
Ethan I have to call Ethan. Hes still at practice, but I should probably leave him a message.
I was surprised when Ethan answered his phone on the first ring. I was just about to call you.
Im with Uncle Walt. Frank called and
Asked you to get to the police station, he finished. I know, Im already here. Detective Dickson
called me out of practice about an hour ago. Ethan sounded defeated, and panic rose in my chest.
Not again. This is supposed to be the end of the nightmare. I swear to God, if Marsha has framed
him for something else
How bad is it, Ethan?
Its not bad its surprising. We were way off track, Em. Its over now, but we were way off track.
Ethan was silent for a moment and I heard Dicksons muffled voice in the background.
I need to go, but Ill explain everything when you get here, Ethan promised.
Walt paid our bill and ushered me out of the caf as I spoke. Youre making me nervous, Ethan. You
sound upset.
I am upset, Emily, he agreed. But everything will be okay, and thats all that matters. I love you and
Ill see you soon.
Walt opened the passenger door of his car and I dropped my phone back into my purse as I buckled my
seatbelt and he took his place behind the steering wheel. He peeled out into traffic and got us to the station
in record time. We found Ethan and Detective Dickson in the same room wed met in for our last round of
questioning. I took a little comfort knowing that this time, Dickson was the one responsible for giving
answers.
Hey, baby. Ethan rose from his chair and gave me a half hug, extending his other arm to shake Walts
hand.
Walt, Im glad youre here. The fewer times I have to tell this story, the better, Ethan said, cringing
with dread.
Walt took a seat at the head of the table while I settled in beside Ethan. Before Detective Dickson
could begin his explanation, Frank stepped through the door.
Perfect, Dickson announced as Frank sat down. Everyones here. As you all know, Kelvin Rhoads
was arrested in Dallas early this morning. After a few hours in custody, he broke and gave a full
confession. He admitted to breaking into Emilys classroom and tampering with the snacks. He also gave
up his boss.
Marsha? I asked.
Detective shook his head and looked to Ethan. Ethan took my hand and turned to me with sad, guilt-
ridden eyes. The woman Ben met outside the gym she was Susannah Cross.
I tried to process the news, not knowing how to feel. Susannah? But why? You said you were never
involved with her.
Walt stiffened his shoulders a bit and I knew he was ready to come to my defense, if necessary.
I wasnt, Ethan assured me. Our relationship was exactly how I described it. She had a tough
breakup with one of my teammates. We were friends, and I tried to help her. I never realized her feelings
went deeper.
Detective Dickson cleared his throat. Susannah checked herself into a mental facility this afternoon,
he explained. I spoke with her mother, who told me Susannahs had a very difficult time adjusting to life
in a new city. For a while, she seemed to be doing better. Then, a little less than a year ago, she became
withdrawn again.
She did better after we became friends, Ethan explained. She backslid when I moved to Portland.
Dickson nodded. My guess is that she got even worse once she found out Ethan was involved with
you, Emily.
I sat silent, trying to make sense of what I was hearing. I couldnt.
I pushed you at her over Christmas, I remembered out loud. I actually asked you to spend time with
that terrible woman. I cant believe shes responsible but this doesnt make sense. If she wanted me out
of the way, there were tons of things she could have done that didnt involve endangering an innocent
child.
Alfie was never supposed to be involved, Ethan explained, nearly choking on his words. His eyes
were watery, but his jaw was locked.
When the Dallas PD interrogated Rhoads, he swore up and down that hed never heard of Alfie or
any of the Holliss, Dickson explained. Later, when he confessed and gave up Susannah, he explained
the full story. Susannah broke into your classroom to learn more about you. When she found the snacks in
your drawer and saw a list of allergy cautions, she assumed you were the one with the allergies. You
were always the target; Alfie was an innocent bystander.
Do the Holliss know all of this? I asked, barely able to breathe let alone ask the question, but I
needed to know.
Dickson nodded. I went to their house this afternoon and explained everything. Theyre relieved
Kelvin and Susannah have been caught. But I doubt theyll be letting their kids out of sight anytime soon.
I dont blame them, I agreed, thinking of that sweet little boy. So Susannah tried to kill me?
Ethan nodded, his jaw still tight. Im so sorry, Emily.
This wasnt your fault, Ethan, Walt assured him. You didnt realize Susannah was so troubled.
I know, Ethan agreed. But if something had happened to Emily I dont know what I would have
done.
Its a good thing we pretended to break up, I realized out loud. If we hadnt, she probably would
have made another move after her first attempt didnt work.
The detective nodded. Were lucky the Dallas PD caught up to Rhoads when they did. He was
supposed to meet with Susannah tomorrow to discuss the next job she had for him.
What happens to them now? I asked.
That depends on the Hollis family, to an extent, Frank broke in. As the parents of the victim, the
prosecutor will take their feelings into account before brokering any plea deals.
Dickson nodded. I dont think they found any comfort in the fact that Alfie wasnt the intended target.
But I imagine theyll agree to a certain amount of bargaining to avoid a trial. The prosecutor will likely
offer to let Susannah serve her sentence at a mental health ward in exchange for a guilty plea.
I dont know about the Holliss, but Id be okay with that. I hate what she put us through, and Im not
sure Ill ever forgive her. But if shes sick, she deserves treatment.
Thats very big of you, Miss Kinkaid, Dickson told me.
Walt cleared his throat. Is there anything else we need to know?
The detective shook his head. Not at the moment. Ill keep you updated on the prosecution, but this
investigation is officially closed. Miss Kinkaid, you are officially free to come and go from Portland as
you please. Mr. McAlister, good luck on Sunday. Were all counting on you to bring home a win.

***

I cant believe these amazing seats, Linda gushed, staring down at the field. And look at Melissa over
there in the middle of everything.
I followed Lindas gaze and spotted our friend. The hottest boy band in the country had just played the
Super Bowl halftime show, and Melissa was interviewing them on the sidelines.
You and Ethan giving her that interview was the best thing that ever happened for her career, Linda
continued. You know she has national networks calling her?
I nodded. She deserves it. Shes fantastic at her job.
As promised, Melissa was the only reporter Ethan and I spoke to after the truth came out. We sat down
with her the morning before we left Portland, and her station aired the segment that evening. Within an
hour, the parent affiliate called and requested Melissa cover the game. It was her first national broadcast,
and she was killing it.
Melissas not the only one, Walt broke in. Ethan is on fire tonight. If the defense can get their heads
out of their asses, the Stallions are going to take this. I dont know about you guys, but Im having the time
of my life. And Im so damn proud of him.
Watching my uncle take such pride in Ethan was the cherry on top of what was quickly becoming my
perfect life. Ethan and I had faced hell together and come out stronger on the other side. But it wasnt just
our relationship that thrived. Everyone I knew was happy. Walt was more at peace than Id ever seen him.
He and Claudia were shopping for a new home, and they were both helping Ethan and me plan our
wedding. Henry was finally settling into life in Portland. The night before, he showed me pictures of
engagement rings and asked my opinion. And Melissa and Ethans careers were taking off right before my
eyes.
The players filed out of their tunnels and the crowd erupted. I spotted Ethan on the field; his eyes were
narrowed with focus and he moved with confidence.
Hes got this, I announced.
I think youre right, Henry agreed.
The Stallions started the second half with possession of the ball. Ethan moved for the middle of the
field and the crowd started chanting his name. The electrifying excitement of the crowd washed over me,
making my pulse race even faster. I kept my eyes fixed on Ethan as the team broke from their huddle.
The second half of the game went much better than the first. Ethan and his offense scored on three
possessions in a row. The defense held Philadelphia to less than ten yards per possession.
This game is over, Walt announced two-thirds of the way through the last half. Ethan had just run in
another touchdown, bringing the Stallions lead up to forty-nine points.
 Henry nodded. Philadelphia doesnt have time to come back from this, he agreed.
I dont think anyone told them that, I said, staring down at the field. Ethan and his team hadnt let up,
but their opponents werent backing down either. Ethan snapped the ball and seconds later, a pair of
enormous linemen tackled him to the ground. I didnt bother to watch where the ball went. Panic washed
over me and all I could think about was Ethans last bad tackle. I held my breath and gripped Walts arm,
my eyes locked to the pile of bodies on top of my fianc. One by one, they rolled off of him and Ethan
sprang to his feet.
Thank God.
Ethans eyes found me in the crowd and he gave me a quick thumbs up before joining his team in the
huddle.
Getting knocked down is part of Ethans job, Walt reminded me. Youre going to have to get used
to watching it.
Ill never get used to it, I insisted.
I wouldnt either, Claudia agreed. Her face was as white as I imagined mine was and I realized I
wasnt the only one whod panicked when Ethan went down.
He can obviously handle it, Linda observed.
Ethan faked a toss to one of his receivers and ran for another touchdown, mowing down every
opponent in his path with the help of two of his teammates.
Obviously, Walt agreed.
After Ethans last touchdown, everyone on the field seemed to agree with my uncle: the game was
over, it was just a matter of waiting for the clock to wind down. Philadelphia made a valiant effort to
lessen the gap, but to no avail. With forty-two seconds left on the clock, the Stallions gained possession of
the ball and Ethan took a knee. The crowd erupted with cheers, whistles, and air horns. Painted fans
rushed the field and Ethans teammates lifted him onto their shoulders. I knew I didnt have a hope of
reaching him in the chaos, so I watched from my seat.
Ethans teammates set him back on the ground and dumped a cooler of Gatorade over his head. The
crowd closed in and I lost sight of him.
Ethans probably looking for you, Walt insisted. Ill brave the madness with you if youd like to go
find him.
I shook my head. That would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Besides, Im sure Ethans
celebrating the win with his teammates. Well wait here and hell find us when the madness dies down.
I watched the sea of people in front of us, giddy with happiness. I thought about who Id been before
Ethan, how determined I was to settle down into a routine, structured life. Ethan was the opposite of
everything Id ever thought I wanted. And I was happier than Id ever thought possible.
Ethan emerged from the edge of the crowd and pulled himself over the stadium wall.
Excellent game, son, Walt offered, patting him on his shoulder pad.
Thanks, Walt, Ethan replied, his eyes on me.
Im so proud of you. I beamed at him before falling into his arms. He wrapped me in a bear hug and
lifted me off the ground. I knew there were cameras on us, but I didnt care. I slid one hand up the back of
his neck and pulled his mouth to mine.
We shared a long, passionate kiss before Ethan had to leave for after game interviews. The kiss went
viral before Ethan finished his first interview. It didnt bother me in the slightest.
 Epilogue
Three Years and Nine Months Later
Ethan peeked his head in through the patio doors and smiled at me as I iced cupcakes at the kitchen
island.
Melissa and Dave just got here. DJ took one look at Eli and little Walt in the kiddie pool, stripped
down to his diaper, and hopped in. I told Melissa Id let you know they were here. Do you need any
help?
I shook my head, bracing my sore back with one hand. A lot had changed in the last four years, and not
just when it came to our house. I was seven months into my second pregnancy, and our little girl was
taking a toll on my body. I could have easily hired a caterer, but we were celebrating our twin boys third
birthday and I wanted to be the kind of mom who baked birthday cakes from scratch.
Im just about to finish up. Is anyone else here?
Ethan shook his head and joined me in the kitchen. He tossed a handful of sprinkles into his mouth and
started arranging the cupcakes on a large platter.
Not yet. Henry called about five minutes ago. They had a hard time finding Hugos floaties, but
theyre on their way now.
Walt sent me a text. He said he and Claudia have a huge surprise, but it may make them a little late.
An amused smile crossed Ethans face. We dont stand a chance against them. Theyre going to spoil
our kids rotten regardless of how much we protest.
Thats what grandparents are for, I reminded him with a grin.
A few weeks before our boys were born, Ethan and I sat down and had a long talk with Walt and
Claudia. Id overheard Walt refer to himself as their great uncle, and I didnt feel like the title fit. I
thanked him for always keeping my parents memories alive, but pointed out that for all intents and
purposes, he was my father. When I asked if the boys could call him Grandpa, he broke down in happy
tears and agreed on the spot.
Ethan set the last cupcake on the platter and stood behind me, wrapping his arms beneath my growing
belly. I leaned back against him, letting him hold a bulk of my weight.
Youve done a fantastic job, sweetheart. But I can take it from here, he insisted. He kept one arm
around me and reached for the tray with the other. Come on. Its time for you to get off your feet.
He led me outside, where we found more of our friends waiting. Linda and Henry had arrived with
their two-year-old son, Hugo, and Ethans teammate Elijah was there with his three little girls. All of the
kids were playing happily inside the cushioned splash pool wed had installed next to the adult pool.
The adults were scattered about the yard. I spotted Linda and Melissa on lounge chairs, watching the
kids. They stood up and hugged me as I joined them.
You look fantastic, Emily, Melissa told me.
Im enormous, I argued. But thank you.
It had been a few months since Melissa and I had seen each other. Shortly after Ethans first Super
Bowl win, shed accepted a job with a national sports network. Her career led her to Dave Hudson, an
investigative reporter who worked for an affiliate network. They married after less than a month of dating
and welcomed their little boy a year and a half later. They lived in New York City, but they made it to
Portland whenever they could.
Cut it out, Em. Youre the cutest little pregnant woman Ive ever seen. Youre all belly this time,
Linda pointed out.
Youre right, I agreed. With the boys, my whole body swelled up like a puffer fish. This time, I just
look like Ive stuffed a half-dozen bowling balls down my shirt.
You love it and you know it, Melissa countered with a knowing smile.
I cradled my belly and grinned back at her. I do. I told Ethan last night, Id have a dozen of them if I
could.
I watched my sons laughing and running through the water as fast as their chubby little legs would
carry them. The boys were conceived the night the Stallions won their first Super Bowl. They were
identical, both the spitting image of their father who joined them in the tiny pool.
Who wants to play water tag? Ethan called out. The water hit the top of his ankles. Hed have
looked ridiculous if the scene wasnt so adorable.
The kids rushed him with shouts of we do, not it, and wheres base?
Hes really wonderful with them, Linda observed. Hows he settling into retirement?
I laughed. He gave up football, but hes hardly retired. If anything, hes working more now that hes
concentrating on his investments full time. But having him home has been wonderful. Ive been exhausted
and hes picked up all the slack with the boys.
Ethan played a total of four seasons with the Stallions, two of which led to championship rings. After
his second victory, he decided to give the sport up for good. He wanted to have more time at home with
our growing family, and we were thrilled to have him. Eli and Walt were daddys boys through and
through, and I wouldnt have had it any other way.
Dave and Henry joined Ethan and the kids, and my friends and I watched them with broad, content
smiles.
I cant believe the boys are three years old, Melissa said. In some ways, it seems like they were
just born last week. But if you think about everything that happened right before then, it feels like a
lifetime ago.
I nodded, thinking back to the hurdles Ethan and I had to jump to be together. We hadnt seen either of
his parents since the day they were sentenced to prison. Ethan spoke to the judge, urging him to keep
Victor and Marsha out of society for the maximum amount of time allowed. The judge was persuaded
either by the speech or the sheer volume of convictions against them. Victor was sentenced to ninety years
in jail, Marsha sixty-five. There was a chance one of them would be paroled, but they wouldnt be a
problem for a long time. A majority of the Montezs vast fortune was seized by the government and used
to reimburse their victims. The balance was given to Ethan, at Victors request. We donated it to a local
food bank.
Susannah Cross pled guilty to the charges against her. As Detective Dickson predicted, the
prosecution allowed her to serve her time at a mental facility instead of prison. She was released after
two years and settled down to a quiet life at her parents house. She sent me a moving, apologetic letter
and took responsibility for what shed done. Last I heard, she was starting an Etsy shop and saving to
move out on her own. I wished her well and prayed she didnt have a setback.
The prosecution wasnt quite as lenient with Kelvin Rhoads. He was charged with premeditated
assault and attempted murder, both with special circumstances given the age of the victim. Prosecutor
Nelson offered him a twenty-year sentence in exchange for a no contest plea, and Rhoads decided not to
take his chances with a trial.
Alfie and Amaya Hollis returned to The Day School for the second grade, after I quit to stay home
with the boys. They never forgave me for what happened to their son. And after having children of my
own, I didnt blame them. I knew Id always carry a twinge of guilt for what Alfie went through, but that
guilt is what drove me to do better.
When the boys turned a year old, I went back to work part-time as a substitute teacher at a school for
special needs children. I planned to take the first year of my daughters life off as well, but I knew Id
always go back to the classroom. With Ethan working from home full time, we had the luxury of being
able to tag team the childcare so our kids rarely had to be with a sitter. And when we did need a sitter,
Grandpa Walt was always happy to fill the role.
Who wants cupcakes? Ethan called out once the kids started slowing down in the water.
The kids yelled me in unison as their fathers lifted them into their arms.
We have to light the candles and sing first, I insisted, struggling out of the chaise.
Let me help you, Claudia called out. I turned to greet her as she rushed toward me.
Youre just in time, I said, accepting her arm. She pulled me to my feet and I noticed she was
downright glowing.
Whats going on, Claudia? Does this have something to do with your big surprise?
She nodded and blushed. Walts bringing her in.
Her?
I looked up just as my uncle stepped through the open gate with a baby carrier in his arms.
Whats going on, Claudia? I asked.
Is that a baby? Ethan added, moving beside me with the boys. He set them on their feet and toweled
them off, his eyes fixed on my uncle.
Claudia nodded as Walt joined us. Id never seen him smile so wide.
Emily, Ethan everyone. Id like to introduce you to Isabella Rylan Kinkaid.
When did this happen? I gushed, staring down in awe at the tiny baby girl. I could tell by her tiny
fingers that she was two weeks old, tops.
I didnt know you were even looking into adoption, Ethan added.
Walt sat Isabellas carrier down on the chaise so Eli and little Walt could get a better look at their
cousin.
We filed the paperwork a few years ago, Claudia confessed. We didnt think we had much of a
chance of getting a placement, being so old.
Thats ridiculous, Melissa insisted. People in their late forties have babies all the time.
Walt unfastened Isabellas safety straps and lifted her from the carrier. I reached for her instinctively
and he laid her in my open arms. Little Walt tugged at the bottom of Walts shorts.
I like your new baby, Grandpa. But can we have our cupcakes now? Walt laughed and lifted both of
the boys in his arms.
Yes. It is definitely time for cupcakes, he agreed, turning toward the picnic table.
Will you light our candles? Eli asked him.
Of course. Walt winked at me and sat the boys down on the bench. The other kids joined them, and
Walt and Claudia lit the boys candles. Everyone started singing Happy Birthday except Hugo, who
couldnt resist shoving his cupcake into his mouth.
 Ethan leaned against a nearby tree trunk and I joined him, still cradling Isabella. I leaned back into his
chest and we watched our sons blow out their candles.
Shes beautiful, Ethan whispered over my shoulder.
Shes a miracle, I agreed.
This is a pretty spectacular life we have, Emily.
I shifted Isabella to my left arm and moved Ethans right hand over my belly, where our daughter was
turning somersaults.
Its amazingly spectacular, I agreed. And its only going to get better from here.
 EPILOGUE

Three Years and Nine Months Later

Ethan peeked his head in through the patio doors and smiled at me as I iced cupcakes at the kitchen
island.
Melissa and Dave just got here. DJ took one look at Eli and little Walt in the kiddie pool, stripped
down to his diaper, and hopped in. I told Melissa Id let you know they were here. Do you need any
help?
I shook my head, bracing my sore back with one hand. A lot had changed in the last four years, and not
just when it came to our house. I was seven months into my second pregnancy, and our little girl was
taking a toll on my body. I could have easily hired a caterer, but we were celebrating our twin boys third
birthday and I wanted to be the kind of mom who baked birthday cakes from scratch.
Im just about to finish up. Is anyone else here?
Ethan shook his head and joined me in the kitchen. He tossed a handful of sprinkles into his mouth and
started arranging the cupcakes on a large platter.
Not yet. Henry called about five minutes ago. They had a hard time finding Hugos floaties, but
theyre on their way now.
Walt sent me a text. He said he and Claudia have a huge surprise, but it may make them a little late.
An amused smile crossed Ethans face. We dont stand a chance against them. Theyre going to spoil
our kids rotten regardless of how much we protest.
Thats what grandparents are for, I reminded him with a grin.
A few weeks before our boys were born, Ethan and I sat down and had a long talk with Walt and
Claudia. Id overheard Walt refer to himself as their great uncle, and I didnt feel like the title fit. I
thanked him for always keeping my parents memories alive, but pointed out that for all intents and
purposes, he was my father. When I asked if the boys could call him Grandpa, he broke down in happy
tears and agreed on the spot.
Ethan set the last cupcake on the platter and stood behind me, wrapping his arms beneath my growing
belly. I leaned back against him, letting him hold a bulk of my weight.
Youve done a fantastic job, sweetheart. But I can take it from here, he insisted. He kept one arm
around me and reached for the tray with the other. Come on. Its time for you to get off your feet.
He led me outside, where we found more of our friends waiting. Linda and Henry had arrived with
their two-year-old son, Hugo, and Ethans teammate Elijah was there with his three little girls. All of the
kids were playing happily inside the cushioned splash pool wed had installed next to the adult pool.
The adults were scattered about the yard. I spotted Linda and Melissa on lounge chairs, watching the
kids. They stood up and hugged me as I joined them.
 You look fantastic, Emily, Melissa told me.
Im enormous, I argued. But thank you.
It had been a few months since Melissa and I had seen each other. Shortly after Ethans first Super
Bowl win, shed accepted a job with a national sports network. Her career led her to Dave Hudson, an
investigative reporter who worked for an affiliate network. They married after less than a month of dating
and welcomed their little boy a year and a half later. They lived in New York City, but they made it to
Portland whenever they could.
Cut it out, Em. Youre the cutest little pregnant woman Ive ever seen. Youre all belly this time,
Linda pointed out.
Youre right, I agreed. With the boys, my whole body swelled up like a puffer fish. This time, I just
look like Ive stuffed a half-dozen bowling balls down my shirt.
You love it and you know it, Melissa countered with a knowing smile.
I cradled my belly and grinned back at her. I do. I told Ethan last night, Id have a dozen of them if I
could.
I watched my sons laughing and running through the water as fast as their chubby little legs would
carry them. The boys were conceived the night the Stallions won their first Super Bowl. They were
identical, both the spitting image of their father who joined them in the tiny pool.
Who wants to play water tag? Ethan called out. The water hit the top of his ankles. Hed have
looked ridiculous if the scene wasnt so adorable.
The kids rushed him with shouts of we do, not it, and wheres base?
Hes really wonderful with them, Linda observed. Hows he settling into retirement?
I laughed. He gave up football, but hes hardly retired. If anything, hes working more now that hes
concentrating on his investments full time. But having him home has been wonderful. Ive been exhausted
and hes picked up all the slack with the boys.
Ethan played a total of four seasons with the Stallions, two of which led to championship rings. After
his second victory, he decided to give the sport up for good. He wanted to have more time at home with
our growing family, and we were thrilled to have him. Eli and Walt were daddys boys through and
through, and I wouldnt have had it any other way.
Dave and Henry joined Ethan and the kids, and my friends and I watched them with broad, content
smiles.
I cant believe the boys are three years old, Melissa said. In some ways, it seems like they were
just born last week. But if you think about everything that happened right before then, it feels like a
lifetime ago.
I nodded, thinking back to the hurdles Ethan and I had to jump to be together. We hadnt seen either of
his parents since the day they were sentenced to prison. Ethan spoke to the judge, urging him to keep
Victor and Marsha out of society for the maximum amount of time allowed. The judge was persuaded
either by the speech or the sheer volume of convictions against them. Victor was sentenced to ninety years
in jail, Marsha sixty-five. There was a chance one of them would be paroled, but they wouldnt be a
problem for a long time. A majority of the Montezs vast fortune was seized by the government and used
to reimburse their victims. The balance was given to Ethan, at Victors request. We donated it to a local
food bank.
Susannah Cross pled guilty to the charges against her. As Detective Dickson predicted, the
prosecution allowed her to serve her time at a mental facility instead of prison. She was released after
two years and settled down to a quiet life at her parents house. She sent me a moving, apologetic letter
and took responsibility for what shed done. Last I heard, she was starting an Etsy shop and saving to
move out on her own. I wished her well and prayed she didnt have a setback.
The prosecution wasnt quite as lenient with Kelvin Rhoads. He was charged with premeditated
assault and attempted murder, both with special circumstances given the age of the victim. Prosecutor
Nelson offered him a twenty-year sentence in exchange for a no contest plea, and Rhoads decided not to
take his chances with a trial.
Alfie and Amaya Hollis returned to The Day School for the second grade, after I quit to stay home
with the boys. They never forgave me for what happened to their son. And after having children of my
own, I didnt blame them. I knew Id always carry a twinge of guilt for what Alfie went through, but that
guilt is what drove me to do better.
When the boys turned a year old, I went back to work part-time as a substitute teacher at a school for
special needs children. I planned to take the first year of my daughters life off as well, but I knew Id
always go back to the classroom. With Ethan working from home full time, we had the luxury of being
able to tag team the childcare so our kids rarely had to be with a sitter. And when we did need a sitter,
Grandpa Walt was always happy to fill the role.
Who wants cupcakes? Ethan called out once the kids started slowing down in the water.
The kids yelled me in unison as their fathers lifted them into their arms.
We have to light the candles and sing first, I insisted, struggling out of the chaise.
Let me help you, Claudia called out. I turned to greet her as she rushed toward me.
Youre just in time, I said, accepting her arm. She pulled me to my feet and I noticed she was
downright glowing.
Whats going on, Claudia? Does this have something to do with your big surprise?
She nodded and blushed. Walts bringing her in.
Her?
I looked up just as my uncle stepped through the open gate with a baby carrier in his arms.
Whats going on, Claudia? I asked.
Is that a baby? Ethan added, moving beside me with the boys. He set them on their feet and toweled
them off, his eyes fixed on my uncle.
Claudia nodded as Walt joined us. Id never seen him smile so wide.
Emily, Ethan everyone. Id like to introduce you to Isabella Rylan Kinkaid.
When did this happen? I gushed, staring down in awe at the tiny baby girl. I could tell by her tiny
fingers that she was two weeks old, tops.
I didnt know you were even looking into adoption, Ethan added.
Walt sat Isabellas carrier down on the chaise so Eli and little Walt could get a better look at their
cousin.
We filed the paperwork a few years ago, Claudia confessed. We didnt think we had much of a
chance of getting a placement, being so old.
Thats ridiculous, Melissa insisted. People in their late forties have babies all the time.
Walt unfastened Isabellas safety straps and lifted her from the carrier. I reached for her instinctively
and he laid her in my open arms. Little Walt tugged at the bottom of Walts shorts.
 I like your new baby, Grandpa. But can we have our cupcakes now? Walt laughed and lifted both of
the boys in his arms.
Yes. It is definitely time for cupcakes, he agreed, turning toward the picnic table.
Will you light our candles? Eli asked him.
Of course. Walt winked at me and sat the boys down on the bench. The other kids joined them, and
Walt and Claudia lit the boys candles. Everyone started singing Happy Birthday except Hugo, who
couldnt resist shoving his cupcake into his mouth.
Ethan leaned against a nearby tree trunk and I joined him, still cradling Isabella. I leaned back into his
chest and we watched our sons blow out their candles.
Shes beautiful, Ethan whispered over my shoulder.
Shes a miracle, I agreed.
This is a pretty spectacular life we have, Emily.
I shifted Isabella to my left arm and moved Ethans right hand over my belly, where our daughter was
turning somersaults.
Its amazingly spectacular, I agreed. And its only going to get better from here.

The End
 MORE BY ALICE WARD

Bad Boys: A 16 Book Collection of Sexy Badasses, Broken Billionaires, and Hot Alphas
My Stepbrother My Lover
Love All Out - The Complete Series
Reckless - The Complete Series
Sexy Bastards: A Collection of Hot Alpha, Stepbrother & Billionaire Romance Stories
Stagestruck The Complete Series
Taming the Billionaire - The Complete Series
The Billionaire Prisoner - The Complete Series
The Bluegrass Billionaire Trilogy
Unbridled Love
Unraveling the Billionaire The Complete Series
 ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alice Ward is the author of the Bestselling New Adult series, Reckless. Reading and writing romance
is her passion and she writes with her true heart. Living in Miami, the beach is her favorite place to relax
with her laptop and write her next spicy romance. However, when she is not reading or writing romance,
she also enjoys being with her beautiful family.
Connect with Alice on Facebook
 COPYRIGHT AND DISCLAIMER
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writers
imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to
persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.

Copyright 2016 Alice Ward

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication
may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any
means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written
permission of the copyright owner.

The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in
this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of the trademarks is
not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.