1

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<i>Breaking News Now. N.</i>

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<i>Hello, I'm Sabine
Dortmunder, and I'm outside.</i>

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<i>And it's the trial of YouTube
stoners Dank and Dabby.</i>

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<i>Earlier this morning, the
defendants and their attorney, </i>

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<i>Ruth Whitewater Feinstein,</i>

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<i>arrived at court.</i>

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<i>We believe our case is so strong
that my clients will be cleared,</i>

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<i>not only of this charge,
but all future charges.</i>

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<i>It's 8:30 in the morning. </i>

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<i>I haven't been up this
early since Space Camp.</i>

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<i>We wanna let all our fans know
that Ruth made us dress like this.</i>

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<i>And because Dabby had to
tie my tie this morning,</i>
14
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<i>we didn't have a chance to get it in.</i>

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<i>We were gonna be joined by
our legal analyst, Kenny,</i>

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<i>but he's being a bitch about
what happened at Burning Man.</i>

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<i>Kenny, that guy was just
painting a butterfly on my nipple</i>

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<i>and, like, you don't fucking own me.</i>

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<i>And live from New York,
it's </i>Saturday Night!

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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

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♪ <i> Jack, I'm mellow </i> ♪

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<i>♪ I'm the big boss man ♪</i>

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<i>♪ With a ring of keys ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Ready to face today's challenges ♪
♪ Big boss man ♪</i>

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<i>♪ What the... ? What the hell
is going on back there? ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Gonna check it out now ♪</i>
27
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Hey, Pete. It looks like you're
weaving hemp from an old-timey loom.

28
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[CHUCKLES]

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Boy, you don't miss anything.

30
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You wanna tell me why?

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Oh.

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At the compound, Elder
Larry always said,

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"A man needs to have two skills."

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So, I know how to grow
marijuana and weave hemp.

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Larry knows how to
siphon gas at truck stops

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and talk runaway girls into
giving compound life a try.

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So, you're not gonna
grow marijuana anymore?

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I can't. I'm cursed.

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You're not. The plants
died because of a fungus.
40
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- A fungus I got from my ex-girlfriend.
- How do you know you got it from her?

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Because it hurts to pee!

42
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So, what, now you're
just gonna weave doormats?

43
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[CHUCKLES] Doormats. This
is clothing. It's hemp wear.

44
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Look, I made a shirt for Carter.

45
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There's some shorts for Jenny.
And this is Olivia's bra.

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Yeah. And this...

47
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is for you.

48
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Sassy meets classy in this
stylish poncho that'll turn heads

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whether you're rocking out at Coachella

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or just strolling the streets of Paris.

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[LAUGHING]

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- Try it on. Try it on.
- Okay, yeah. Sure.

53
00:03:17,339 --> 00:03:18,966
Oh, this is... Um...

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Oh... Oh, wow.

55
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Wow, this is...

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- Thank you.
- [LAUGHING]

57
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You're welcome.

58
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Just don't get it wet or the hemp
weevils will lay eggs under your skin.

59
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Ranger Titus, do you see the two people

60
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- you apprehended in this courtroom?
- Yes, I do.

61
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And can you point to us, please?

62
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Will you shut up?!

63
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No, it's cool, Ruth. 'Cause
when he points, we're gonna duck.

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They'll have to convict the two
assholes behind us. [LAUGHING]

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- They're right there.
- Damn, he's fast.

66
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- Oh, man.
- Your witness.

67
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Guys, Mommy's gotta
go to work. Heads down.

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Ranger Tight-ass.

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Titus.

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- Tight-ass.
- Titus.

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Sorry, I'm saying
tight-ass. What am I missing?

72
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Your Honor.

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The court recognizes it's
a funny name, move it along.

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Ranger, when you came upon my clients
in the woods, what did you see?

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I saw them attempting to
lick dew off the grass.

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Then they spoke to me rudely

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and the female dropped her
pants, exposing her posterior

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in an aggressive fashion.

79
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But at no point did you actually
witness them consuming marijuana.

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- I did not.
- [BOTH] Gasp!

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Eh.

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Your Honor,

83
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it seems the government is desperate

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to persecute my clients for smoking pot,

85
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but there's no evidence my
clients were smoking anything.

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Well, just the YouTube video.

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I'm sorry, what?

88
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Your Honor, we'd like to introduce
the government's Exhibit A,

89
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a YouTube video cryptically entitled

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"Dank and Dabby Smoke Shit-tons
of Weed in a National Forest."

91
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[COUGHING]

92
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<i>I'm so excited to be smoking
in this national forest.</i>

93
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<i>- Whoo!</i>
<i>- I can barely believe it's me.</i> [LAUGHS]

94
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<i>But if you need proof, here's my ID.</i>

95
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<i>You know, our friend
Carter, he was in the Army,</i>

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<i>and he died for our right to smoke
marijuana in this national forest.</i>

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<i>Support the troops, bitch.</i>

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- [LAUGHING]
- [YELLS]

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Jesus, that's incriminating. [CHUCKLES]

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Your Honor, we're gonna need, like,
pfft, I don't know, half an hour.

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Take the rest of the
day. Court's in recess.

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- Recess.
- Oh, shit.

103
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- Let's go fuck on the see-saw.
- Yeah.

104
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I spent six years wearing full
body armor in 100-degree heat
105
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and this is the most
uncomfortable I've ever been.

106
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This hat feels like there are tiny
bugs boring their way under my skin.

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They're called hemp weevils.

108
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Oh, fuck, no.

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Travis, how do we get
Pete over this curse?

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Well, we know the curse is
bullshit. Maybe to free him,

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we have to come up with
some equally bullshit ritual.

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Olivia, say, "Ahoy," to
your new boat neck tee.

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- [PETE CHUCKLES]
- Oh, my God.

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You'll set sail for style on the
<i>H.M.S. Snazzy. </i>[CHUCKLES]

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Jenny, be right back
with your Capri pants.

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No man should talk like that.

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Hello, everybody. Why do I look
so miserable? I'm glad you asked.

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I've spent months planning
Connor's 6th birthday party

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and now the little fucker has the shits.

120
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I'm stuck with 1500 dollars'
worth of party rentals

121
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and a sick kid who poor
Rosita has to take care of.

122
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You know...

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Pete grew up on that compound. He
has no idea what a birthday party is.

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Could be the bullshit we're looking for.

125
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Why is that hat moving?

126
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- No.
- Oh, my God.

127
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<i>♪ 'Cause I know I'm the big boss man ♪
♪ Got a big-ass mug ♪</i>

128
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- Mom?
- Dabby, get your hand out of his pants.

129
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You okay?

130
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Yeah, I'm fine.

131
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[SIGHS] Oh, fuck, I
drooled all over my notes.

132
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- Pulled an all-nighter?
- I did.

133
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Until I fell asleep after dinner.
[RUTH SIGHS]

134
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Well, I saw some of the
trial coverage on CNNN.

135
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You looked so nice.

136
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I got no chance to win.

137
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I just wanted to make a point
about the stupidity of the system,

138
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but I overlooked the
stupidity of my clients.

139
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You know, I caught them
having sex in my car.

140
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What am I gonna do?

141
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I would sell it.

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I mean about Dank and Dabby.

143
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Don't make it about them.
Make it about the government.

144
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Who knows better than us how much
the feds are out to get pot smokers?

145
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You remember our DEA pals.

146
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They don't fight fair,
and why should you?

147
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Thank you, Travis.

148
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You always know how to make me angry.

149
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This time you did it on purpose.

150
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Welcome to "Strain O' The Day."

151
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It is my privilege to introduce

152
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the Weed of Fortune.

153
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I'm so pissed at you.

154
00:09:08,523 --> 00:09:09,941
- Why?
- Up until five minutes ago,

155
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this was gonna be Erin
Go Bud, an Irish strain,

156
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and I had a whole thing prepared.
157
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[IN IRISH ACCENT] I've been
working on me Irish accent all week,

158
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,327
[IN COCKNEY ACCENT] I have, governor.

159
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:26,541
We'll do that one next week.

160
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From now on, every time you spend
more than 20 bucks here at Ruth's,

161
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,077
you'll get to spin the wheel

162
00:09:32,078 --> 00:09:34,758
for a chance at unbelievable
prizes. Such as...

163
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,760
This isn't even a strain.

164
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,011
Because it's better!

165
00:09:39,554 --> 00:09:41,264
You could win a free joint.

166
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:46,311
Or 10 percent off any glassware.
Or a date with me, Travis.

167
00:09:48,939 --> 00:09:49,940
Give it a spin.

168
00:10:03,495 --> 00:10:05,319
Apparently this is gonna take a while.

169
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,749
Since we have some time to kill...

170
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- Play me music.
- [IRISH JIG MUSIC PLAYING]

171
00:10:15,632 --> 00:10:18,051
- Holy shit.
- I told you I worked on this.

172
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,019
And now, for the big finish.

173
00:10:41,825 --> 00:10:44,828
[HISSING AND RATTLING]

174
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:53,128
<i>Things are really heating up here
on day two at the courthouse,</i>

175
00:10:53,211 --> 00:10:57,674
<i>where there's a guy who sells
hot dogs wrapped in bacon.</i>

176
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:02,929
<i>Good job, guy.</i>

177
00:11:04,723 --> 00:11:07,109
Ranger Titus, are you familiar

178
00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:09,728
with the Twitter account
Walker Titus Ranger?

179
00:11:09,811 --> 00:11:12,439
Yes, that's my name. Walker Titus.

180
00:11:12,522 --> 00:11:15,984
Though it's also a play on <i>Walker,
Texas Ranger.</i> [CHUCKLES]

181
00:11:17,026 --> 00:11:20,613
Let the record reflect that
the witness finds that clever.

182
00:11:22,699 --> 00:11:25,744
And did you send the following
tweet from that account?

183
00:11:26,411 --> 00:11:29,873
"Meteor shower tonight in
Angeles National Forest.

184
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,666
Gonna bust a lot of stoners.

185
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:34,961
Hashtag 'love my job.'
Hashtag 'blessed.'"

186
00:11:35,044 --> 00:11:36,296
[PEOPLE MURMURING]

187
00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:39,257
[BOTH] Murmur, murmur, murmur.

188
00:11:39,841 --> 00:11:42,927
- Where is this going?
- Your Honor, it is our contention

189
00:11:43,011 --> 00:11:46,097
that the federal government
is using this national forest,

190
00:11:46,181 --> 00:11:49,142
with its natural splendor
and beautiful views,

191
00:11:49,225 --> 00:11:51,895
to lure cannabis users
and then arrest them.

192
00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,939
- It's a clear case of entrapment.
- Are you serious?

193
00:11:55,023 --> 00:11:57,567
Damn right I am, and
there's a precedent.

194
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:03,406
In 1994, a state appeals court
found that a Pink Floyd laser show

195
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:07,285
constituted a de facto sting
operation targeting pot smokers.

196
00:12:07,368 --> 00:12:11,831
I remember that case. <i>Griffith
Park Planetarium v. Freaky Lou.</i>

197
00:12:13,124 --> 00:12:15,835
I fail to see the
relevance to this case.

198
00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:17,879
[MOCKINGLY] Well,
you're about to, Carol.

199
00:12:19,547 --> 00:12:24,093
Because this case is no longer
about these two doe-eyed youngsters.

200
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,221
It is about the system.

201
00:12:26,888 --> 00:12:30,308
I'm putting the entire
National Park Service on trial.

202
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:35,730
- Hell, yeah.
- Oh, hashtag "Suck my dick, Titus."

203
00:12:41,486 --> 00:12:44,280
Why is hashtag "Suck my
dick, Titus" trending?

204
00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:49,661
So, everyone's hemp clothing
got stolen on the same night?

205
00:12:50,245 --> 00:12:51,245
Yeah.

206
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,624
[CLEARS THROAT] But the good
news is, we did some research,

207
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,585
we found an ancient ceremony
that can lift a curse.
208
00:12:57,669 --> 00:12:59,592
I know, the Goat Blood Ceremony.

209
00:12:59,629 --> 00:13:01,869
I smeared it all over, it doesn't work.

210
00:13:04,092 --> 00:13:05,260
This one's different.

211
00:13:05,343 --> 00:13:09,889
Um, if you go through it, you'll
be reborn without the curse.

212
00:13:09,973 --> 00:13:12,308
Yeah. It's called a re-birthday.

213
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:15,645
I went to my friend's
sweet 16 re-birthday

214
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:19,065
and the curse of my
virginity was totally lifted.

215
00:13:21,526 --> 00:13:23,903
- That does sound powerful.
- Oh, it was.

216
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,655
Twice.

217
00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:29,367
Liberation awaits you
in the parking lot.

218
00:13:33,997 --> 00:13:36,416
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

219
00:13:52,807 --> 00:13:53,850
- [MARIA] Ta-da!
- Oh, God!

220
00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:55,602
Happy re-birthday, Pete!
221
00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,856
[GROANING] Who's that pink being?

222
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:03,067
Uh, that is a powerful ranger

223
00:14:03,735 --> 00:14:05,612
to defend you from future curses.

224
00:14:05,695 --> 00:14:07,613
- Right?
- [PETE] Oh.

225
00:14:08,239 --> 00:14:09,282
Thank you.

226
00:14:12,076 --> 00:14:14,662
Welcome to Del Taco.
Can I take your order?

227
00:14:14,746 --> 00:14:16,956
I'll take a Whopper with cheese.

228
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,209
Personal pan pizza.

229
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,002
Bucket of extra crispy.

230
00:14:21,085 --> 00:14:22,837
Is the McRib back?

231
00:14:22,921 --> 00:14:24,631
Footlong meatball, wheat.

232
00:14:24,714 --> 00:14:27,091
Venti Iced Frappuccino.

233
00:14:27,175 --> 00:14:29,427
Ten dollars on pump number five.

234
00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:32,805
Six lottery tickets, a
Slim Jim and a lighter.
235
00:14:33,848 --> 00:14:34,891
[ANNOUNCER] <i>Del Taco.</i>

236
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,102
<i>We're Del Taco.</i>

237
00:14:40,438 --> 00:14:43,900
Your Honor, in order to prove
that my clients were entrapped,

238
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:48,947
I must call to the witness stand,
Steve Dankerson and Dabby Shapiro.

239
00:14:49,030 --> 00:14:51,282
- Yeah!
- Yes! Yes!

240
00:14:51,366 --> 00:14:54,369
Ooh! But you're supposed
to say, "Come on down!"

241
00:14:56,079 --> 00:14:59,791
Objection. Two witnesses
cannot testify at the same time.

242
00:14:59,874 --> 00:15:03,503
Carol, are you seriously saying
you don't wanna see this? [LAUGHING]

243
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:05,880
Withdrawn.

244
00:15:07,131 --> 00:15:09,634
You're doing an excellent job, ma'am.

245
00:15:10,385 --> 00:15:13,763
There is nothing sexier than
a woman who's good at her work.

246
00:15:19,894 --> 00:15:21,187
Raise your right hand.

247
00:15:23,773 --> 00:15:27,151
Do you swear to tell the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth?
248
00:15:27,235 --> 00:15:28,987
[IN UNISON] Fuck, yeah.

249
00:15:29,070 --> 00:15:31,906
- Come on, guys.
- The cop told us to swear.

250
00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:40,290
<i>♪ Happy re-birthday to you ♪</i>

251
00:15:41,499 --> 00:15:47,380
<i>♪ Happy re-birthday to you ♪</i>

252
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:55,513
<i>♪ Happy re-birthday, dear Pete ♪</i>

253
00:15:56,597 --> 00:16:03,313
<i>♪ Happy re-birthday to you ♪</i>

254
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:07,650
<i>♪ And many more ♪</i>

255
00:16:10,653 --> 00:16:13,740
Oh. This is a lot scarier
than the goat blood.

256
00:16:15,116 --> 00:16:18,995
Okay, Pete, now, close your eyes and
with the power of a single breath,

257
00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:21,497
extinguish the flames of your torment.

258
00:16:22,332 --> 00:16:25,668
Come on, Pete, move it along.
I still got a piñata, a clown

259
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,462
- and a magician.
- A magician?

260
00:16:31,841 --> 00:16:36,054
Jackie Jesus Christ Chan.
What's going on out here? Hey!
261
00:16:38,681 --> 00:16:39,974
Hey, Douglas.

262
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:44,479
Whoa, whoa. Hey. No, no, no.
This can't be Pete's birthday.

263
00:16:44,562 --> 00:16:46,564
It's not for another seven weeks.

264
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:50,360
His star-naming certificate's
still at the framer's. Aw!

265
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,528
Well, yeah, I just spoiled that one.

266
00:16:53,571 --> 00:16:54,571
[SIGHS]

267
00:16:55,698 --> 00:16:57,241
We're trying to help Pete.

268
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,203
He thinks his ex-girlfriend cursed him.

269
00:17:00,411 --> 00:17:03,414
Oh, yeah, I know that drill.

270
00:17:03,831 --> 00:17:07,919
My ex-wife cursed me with alimony
and 45 more payments on a waterbed

271
00:17:08,002 --> 00:17:10,963
that I guess didn't save our
marriage after all. [CHUCKLES]

272
00:17:13,424 --> 00:17:14,801
[GRUNTING]

273
00:17:14,884 --> 00:17:16,928
[SCOFFS] That's not a real move.

274
00:17:19,013 --> 00:17:20,640
Dank, Dabby.
275
00:17:21,057 --> 00:17:22,513
Can you tell the court

276
00:17:22,514 --> 00:17:25,436
why you decided to visit
the Angeles National Forest

277
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,021
on this particular day?

278
00:17:27,105 --> 00:17:28,105
No.

279
00:17:28,439 --> 00:17:29,732
[DABBY CHUCKLES]

280
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,567
I'll field this one, lover.

281
00:17:32,402 --> 00:17:36,155
So, we'd heard from friends that
the stars are awesome from the woods.

282
00:17:36,239 --> 00:17:38,741
So, then you were lured by the stars?

283
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,993
Yeah, 'cause stars are just like us.

284
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:46,958
Yes. Like, did you know Jared
Leto buys his own groceries?

285
00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:49,252
- So...
- We thought we'd go to the woods,

286
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:51,629
- smoke pot and see Jared Leto.
- Oh!

287
00:17:51,879 --> 00:17:53,798
And maybe a cartoon bear.

288
00:17:53,881 --> 00:17:55,675
Oh, yeah, either Yogi or Baloo.

289
00:17:55,758 --> 00:17:58,803
- Okay. So, let's...
- Or that one with the fucked-up hat

290
00:17:58,886 --> 00:18:01,514
that tells you to light forest fires.

291
00:18:03,057 --> 00:18:06,227
Pharrell wears the same hat
as that asshole forest bear.

292
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,355
- You know who I like?
- Who?

293
00:18:09,439 --> 00:18:11,649
- Fozzie.
- Oh, from <i>Happy Days.</i>

294
00:18:11,732 --> 00:18:14,735
Okay, all right. But why
don't we just talk about...

295
00:18:14,819 --> 00:18:19,157
I can't stand those Berenstain
Bears. Those preachy motherfuckers.

296
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,658
Your Honor, I object.

297
00:18:20,741 --> 00:18:23,786
- You're objecting to your own witnesses?
- Strenuously.

298
00:18:25,496 --> 00:18:27,331
Overruled. I love these guys.

299
00:18:27,415 --> 00:18:29,167
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

300
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:30,418
[DANK] Fuck those bears!
301
00:18:33,129 --> 00:18:36,007
[CARL ORFF'S "O FORTUNA" PLAYING]

302
00:19:01,699 --> 00:19:03,409
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

303
00:20:13,688 --> 00:20:16,941
Pete, this is your final test.

304
00:20:17,024 --> 00:20:21,529
To lift the curse, you must
destroy this effigy of Mary Jane.

305
00:20:22,572 --> 00:20:25,783
I'm not sure I can do it.
It looks just like her.

306
00:20:27,952 --> 00:20:29,287
Uh, there's candy inside.

307
00:20:29,370 --> 00:20:30,663
Okay, I'll try.

308
00:20:31,247 --> 00:20:32,247
I'll hold it.

309
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:36,210
Okay, Pete. You got this.

310
00:20:36,711 --> 00:20:41,173
As sure as I'm from La Cañada,
you will vanquish this piñata.

311
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:43,593
Here you go, sweetie.

312
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:46,429
Heads up, with my kids,
this shit takes an hour.

313
00:20:49,098 --> 00:20:50,433
[CHANTING] <i>Break the curse!</i>

314
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,393
<i>Break the curse!</i>
315
00:20:52,476 --> 00:20:55,313
<i>Break the curse! Break the curse!</i>

316
00:20:55,396 --> 00:20:57,356
Mother, jugs and speed!

317
00:20:58,983 --> 00:21:01,777
- Sorry, Douglas. Sorry.
- Oh, my God. Are you okay?

318
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,779
Yeah! Ah. I'm fine.

319
00:21:04,322 --> 00:21:06,532
Pain is just pleasure hurting a lot.

320
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:11,202
Ah, no!

321
00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:13,706
You don't need that stick.

322
00:21:14,165 --> 00:21:15,791
Use the stick inside of you.

323
00:21:29,013 --> 00:21:31,265
Whoo! Yeah! That's my boy!

324
00:21:31,349 --> 00:21:32,433
Yeah!

325
00:21:32,516 --> 00:21:33,916
- [CARTER] Yes!
- [JENNY] All right!

326
00:21:37,188 --> 00:21:39,023
[MARY JANE] <i>Fuck you, Pete!</i>

327
00:21:40,107 --> 00:21:42,485
<i>Your friends are dicks!</i>

328
00:21:42,860 --> 00:21:44,737
<i>Baba Booey!</i>
329
00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:49,450
I'm free.

330
00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:50,910
- Yeah!
- Oh, my God!

331
00:21:52,703 --> 00:21:54,747
Yeah! [LAUGHING]

332
00:21:54,830 --> 00:21:56,499
The curse is broken.

333
00:21:56,582 --> 00:21:58,751
Good. So is my wrist.

334
00:21:59,335 --> 00:22:01,295
Can someone drive me to the ER?

335
00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:06,008
Your Honor, in summation,

336
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:08,928
cannabis is legal for
adult use in this state,

337
00:22:09,387 --> 00:22:12,473
but illegal in the country
to which this state belongs.

338
00:22:12,556 --> 00:22:14,767
And that's inherently contradictory.

339
00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:16,644
It's a legal paradox.

340
00:22:16,727 --> 00:22:19,274
And when you apply laws that confusing

341
00:22:19,275 --> 00:22:22,483
to people this easily confused...

342
00:22:24,193 --> 00:22:25,528
that's entrapment.
343
00:22:26,028 --> 00:22:30,866
And decent, law-abiding citizens
are caught in that trap every day.

344
00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:34,912
I would simply ask the
court to be reasonable,

345
00:22:35,413 --> 00:22:40,000
because, at the end of
the day, it's just pot.

346
00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:42,293
Thank you.

347
00:22:43,504 --> 00:22:46,048
Ms. Feldman, you make
a compelling argument.

348
00:22:46,382 --> 00:22:49,802
I myself find these laws
confusing and I went to Wesleyan.

349
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,973
I'd be much more inclined
to acquit your clients

350
00:22:54,056 --> 00:22:57,518
if they weren't under the
defense table smoking marijuana.

351
00:23:00,271 --> 00:23:01,564
Fuck a duck!

352
00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,314
[SIGHS]

353
00:23:04,358 --> 00:23:09,447
All right. How about a 500-dollar
fine and 30 days of house arrest?

354
00:23:09,530 --> 00:23:10,990
Sounds good. Carol?

355
00:23:11,574 --> 00:23:14,410
You're sentencing stoners
to a month on the couch?

356
00:23:14,493 --> 00:23:16,120
Are you shitting me?!

357
00:23:17,913 --> 00:23:19,707
It's okay to curse now, right?

358
00:23:20,207 --> 00:23:22,001
Fuck, yeah. Court's adjourned.

359
00:23:22,793 --> 00:23:24,837
Partial victory is mine.

360
00:23:26,464 --> 00:23:27,840
<i>There you have it.</i>

361
00:23:27,923 --> 00:23:32,303
<i>After two long days and
one amazing hot dog,</i>

362
00:23:32,386 --> 00:23:35,389
<i>the trial of the
century is finally over.</i>

363
00:23:36,098 --> 00:23:39,185
<i>Join me tomorrow at noon, here time,</i>

364
00:23:39,268 --> 00:23:41,645
<i>for </i>Wake and Bake<i>
with Sabine Dortmunder</i>

365
00:23:41,729 --> 00:23:44,690
<i>when my guests will be
my cool neighbor Marty</i>

366
00:23:44,773 --> 00:23:47,818
<i>and former Vice President Al Jore.</i>

367
00:23:53,908 --> 00:23:56,535
[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING]

368
00:25:00,474 --> 00:25:03,102
<i>♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪</i>

369
00:25:03,185 --> 00:25:05,688
<i>♪ I'm way up in the sky ♪</i>

370
00:25:05,771 --> 00:25:08,148
<i>♪ The world seems light ♪
♪ And I'm so right ♪</i>

371
00:25:08,232 --> 00:25:10,276
<i>♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪</i>

372
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,778
<i>♪ I'm gonna put my nickel ♪
♪ In a slot machine ♪</i>

373
00:25:12,861 --> 00:25:15,239
<i>♪ And play my solid sender ♪</i>

374
00:25:15,322 --> 00:25:18,158
<i>♪ I'm gonna strut, peck and Suzie-Q ♪</i>

375
00:25:18,242 --> 00:25:19,868
<i>♪ 'Cause I'm on bender ♪</i>

376
00:25:19,952 --> 00:25:22,538
<i>♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪</i>

377
00:25:22,621 --> 00:25:24,999
<i>♪ I'm sailin' in the sky ♪</i>

378
00:25:25,082 --> 00:25:28,002
<i>♪ I got my roach around ♪
♪ I can't come down ♪</i>

379
00:25:28,085 --> 00:25:29,420
<i>♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪</i>

380
00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:36,420
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -