CONTENTS

INTRO............................................................................................... 6
Why, what, when, where, how?..................................................... 8
Rhetorical Situation..................................................................... 10
Brainstorming & Prewriting ......................................................... 12
Thesis & Topic Sentences ........................................................... 18
Drafting ....................................................................................... 22
Revising ...................................................................................... 26
Peer Review ................................................................................ 34
Common Essay Problems .......................................................... 36
STRATEGIES.................................................................................. 38
Narration...................................................................................... 40
Description.................................................................................. 46
Illustration.................................................................................... 52
Process Analysis.......................................................................... 56
Compare & Contrast.................................................................... 62
Division & Classification............................................................... 68
Definition...................................................................................... 70
Cause & Effect Analysis............................................................... 76
Argument..................................................................................... 78
GENRES......................................................................................... 84
Memoirs....................................................................................... 86
Profiles......................................................................................... 94
Essays....................................................................................... 100
Letters........................................................................................ 104
Email.......................................................................................... 110
RESEARCH.................................................................................. 116
Beginning Research................................................................... 118
Finding Sources......................................................................... 120
Implementation of Sources........................................................ 124
NERD............................................................................................ 134
Grammar & Mechanics.............................................................. 136
Figurative Language.................................................................. 146
Style........................................................................................... 148
APPENDIX.................................................................................... 150

Edition 3. August 2017.

AUTHORS

Sybil Priebe lives with her long- Ronda Marman has a long history Dana Anderson loves how
time boyfriend, angry little grey with education that led her to words teamed with visuals and
kitty, and huggable St. Bernard. completing three/four degrees smart document design can
She teaches a variety of courses that include undergraduates in powerfully express ideas. Prior
at NDSCS. In her spare time, she Music, Business, and English, to teaching, she spent more
likes to write, self-publish, read and a Masters in Rhetoric and than 10 years in journalism,
unconventional literature, drive Technical Writing. After a nine publications/design, and corporate
her VW bug, shop at secondhand year stint in the music business, a communications. At NDSCS, Dana
stores, go on bicycle rides, attempt brief career as a fitness trainer, and teaches composition, technical
to kayak and paddleboard, and some success as a wine steward communication, and professional
occasionally complete triathlons and caterer, she is currently trying writing classes. At home, she tries
and duathlons. to balance raising a six-year old to keep up with her three boys and
daughter, a one-year-old German husband.
Shepherd, a husband, and two fat
cats while teaching.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to the Mini-Grant Committee at the North Dakota State College of
Science (NDSCS) for accepting our project and having faith in us that we’d do an
amazing job. Thanks to Wade King and Alisa Priebe for their feedback.

License & Distribution

Copyright 2016, Wikimedia Foundation Inc. and contributing authors, all rights
reserved. Permission is granted to copy, distribute and/or modify this document
under the terms of the GNU Free Document License, version 1.2. or any later
version published by the Free Software Foundation.
A copy of this license is included in the Appendix entitled “GNU Free
Documentation License.”

Open Source Content Cited & Modified:

“Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep 2008, 16:02
UTC. 11 May 2016, 17:39 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Basic_
Writing/Print_version&oldid=1273791>.
“Character Creation.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 17 Aug 2010, 15:00 UTC.
16 May 2016, 15:18 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Character_
Creation&oldid=1913045>.
“How to Write an Essay/Parts.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 22 Apr
2016, 07:12 UTC. 16 May 2016, 14:59 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.
php?title=How_to_Write_an_Essay/Parts&oldid=3073150>.
“Professional and Technical Writing/Business Communications.” Wikibooks, The
Free Textbook Project. 26 Mar 2016, 21:00 UTC. 11 May 2016, 18:31 <https://
en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Professional_and_Technical_Writing/
Business_Communications/Letters&oldid=3066458>.
“Rhetoric and Composition.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 18 Dec 2012,
05:17 UTC. 25 May 2016, 16:57 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.
php?title=Rhetoric_and_Composition&oldid=2464746>.
“Writing Better University Essays.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Apr
2015, 08:11 UTC. 11 May 2016, 16:20 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/
index.php?title=Writing_Better_University_Essays/Common_essay_
problems&oldid=2840084>.
Foreword
Welcome to Writing Unleashed, designed for use as a textbook in first-year college
composition programs, written as an extremely brief guide for students, jam-packed
with teachers’ voices, students’ voices, and engineered for fun.

Hello Teachers:
The backstory is pretty simple and obvious: We (Dana, Ronda, and I) were tired of
not finding a textbook that covered what we wanted in a very brief way. In addition
to not finding a book with the “right kind” of layout of information, we were also
concerned with price. So, after much thought, and after getting an email that our
campus was offering mini-grants to fund special projects, we jumped into the open
source arena.
We decided to make the chapters and units flexible for ourselves and future
instructors who adopt it. Some instructors may choose to use the Nerd Unit, others
may not. We realized early on that for this to work it had to have built-in flexibility
(even chapters are flexible).
So, to reiterate, chapters can be brief or elongated. This same idea flows into the
readings. This textbook won’t have readings, but we will have a short list in the
Appendix of readings online that are available for use to teachers teaching college
composition to freshmen.
Instructors should feel free to complement this free textbook with a paperback or
two. The costs will go from $50-75 to about $10-20! That’s awesome!

Hello Students:
The backstory is that the teachers who put this textbook together wanted flexibility
for themselves and less costs for their students. We’re hoping you’ll keep this
textbook as “free” as possible, and just have it electronically on your devices (save it
in Kindle or Dropbox.com or Google Drive, etc.); you can choose – yes, you have
choices too! – to head to a copy center on your campus or in your town, and print
off this bugger and have it physically with you… we’re hoping to keep that sort of
cost down, as well, by keeping the textbook brief.
As you read this textbook, you’ll see that teachers – they might even be your own!
– have written certain chapters. We did this so you could see their own writing “in
action.” After all, if we’re going to teach you how to improve your writing, we should
probably showcase our own, right?
INTRO
So, yes, we know you’ve already taken English classes. Yes,
with all the years of English classes you’ve had, you probably
should be able to write a novel right now without any help. But
our language is strange. It doesn’t make sense all the time.
Even published writers put commas in weird spots. So, you’re
here to dive into the pool of “practice makes perfect.” Teachers
- especially English teachers - want you to look spectacular
on paper. English teachers love the language, the creation of
sentences and paragraphs, and we are total nerds about an
essay that makes us laugh or cry.
 WHY, WHAT, WHEN,
WHERE, HOW?
by Sybil Priebe

WHY do I have to take this class?

WHY do I have to improve my writing?

Students ask me why they have to take my class. They ask me this a lot. A LOT.
Now, I could be a typical teacher and roll my eyes, but I usually try to connect
these questions with the REAL WORLD. College instructors are supposed to
prepare students for that big scary REAL WORLD, right? So, often, I’ll explain
it like this:
“Do the people around you communicate well? Everyone always knows what the
other one is saying, thinking, feeling at any given moment? Or, perhaps this is a
better question: The people around you never fight or argue?”
Rarely can anyone say they haven’t seen people fight. Here’s a key to why
English is important at all levels - communication is super tricky. We create slang
on a daily basis, we text people with acronyms, and we still have people not
understanding other people even when we don’t use slang or a text message! And
don’t forget that if we can’t speak well, we probably aren’t writing well - what
does that mean in our future jobs? For our future customers? What does that
mean for us as people in relationships, friendships, etc.?
WHAT is writing all about?
What is Composition? What is Rhetoric? What is Literature? What is Linguistics?
These are terms you might only get quizzed on during Jeopardy, but if we
start from the smallest level and work our way to the largest, it goes like this:
Linguistics is the study of words, Composition is the study of arranging those
words into sentences and paragraphs and essays, and then Literature is the study
of fully composed pieces of work that may or may not be true (Nonfiction vs.
Fiction). That weird word Rhetoric? Yeah, that’s the study of Argument.
WHEN should we write?
WHERE should we write?
All the time and everywhere.
HOW can you get started with writing?
With this amazing book!
8 \\ Intro
Why should we write? // 9
 RHETORICAL
SITUATION by Dana Anderson

Elements that shape choices

we make as writers.
“The WHAT situation?”
This is a typical response from students when first introduced to
the concept of the rhetorical situation.
The thing is, most of us intuitively understand rhetorical situations
we face every day, but we give them little thought.
Consider this. You [the author] need to ask your parents [the
audience] for money [the purpose]. It’s the third time this semester
you’ve asked, and it’s right before the holidays [the context]. Should
RHETORICAL you communicate with a text, phone call, email, or Facebook
SITUATION message, and should it be funny, serious, or heartfelt [text]?
Purpose
Author This is a rhetorical situation.
Audience Whenever we decide to write–whether it’s a tweet, an essay for
Context history class, or a text message to your parents asking for money -
Text we face a rhetorical situation or set of elements that help shape the
choices we make as writers.
The rhetorical situation consists of:
• Author: The writer of the communication
• Audience: The receiver of the communication
• Purpose: The goal of the communication
• Context: The surrounding setting, time, culture, and social
discussions on the topic
• Text: The genre, organization, and style of the communication
»» Genre is the form or shape (see Genre unit).
»» Writing strategies such as narration, description, or
compare/contrast help develop and organize the content
(see Strategies unit).
»» Style is created through elements such as tone, diction, and
syntax (see Style chapter).
10 \\ Intro
The rhetorical situation has evolved from the influential Greek
philosopher Aristotle’s ideas on how rhetoric, using language
effectively, functions.
Often, we give little thought to, or automatically process, the rhetorical
situation. However, effective writers carefully consider these elements
and choose an approach to better communicate their ideas.
Returning to the scenario above, you decide that the best way to
convince your parents to send you money is through an honest email
that explains why you are short on money. You choose this genre
because you know that your parents will read it at home after work and
prefer email to texts. You also thoughtfully write in a style that doesn’t
sound demanding, but provide clear reasons why you need the money.
How could they say no to that?
That’s the power of understanding and analyzing what shapes
the rhetorical situation. It helps you create audience-centered
communication in the genre and style best suited to achieve your
purpose.

TWEET
purpose: Share a funny
political video [entertain]
audience: Your followers
+ hashtag followers
author: Yourself
context: Polarizing 2016
U.S. Presidential Season
genre: Microblog,
multimedia

HISTORY ESSAY
purpose: Fulfill assignment
[inform]
audience: Instructor
author: Yourself
context: 200-level college
history class written in 2016
genre: Formal essay

Rhetorical Situation // 11
 BRAINSTORMING
& PREWRITING 1

edited by Sybil Priebe

1 “Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep 2008, 16:02
UTC. 11 May 2016, 18:08 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Basic_Writing/Print_
version&oldid=1273791>.

What do they want from me?

Many people begin college composition class assignments with
this question, although not many will say it out loud. Well, what do
they want from you? First, ask yourself, who is “they”? For many
people, the only possible “they” is the instructor, but that is not
completely true. Behind that instructor is every writing teacher the
instructor ever had; the university’s general education goals for that
class, which can be quite specific; writing theorists the instructor
may have read; and of course, the other people in your class who
will certainly be reading your writing in peer review groups. In
other words, instead of a single instructor to please, you have an
audience.
Luckily, as spokesperson for this audience your instructor has
given you a map of sorts – the assignment sheet. Read this
carefully. After reading it, read it again, only this time use a colored
marker to highlight key points such as when it’s due, page count,
type of writing (strategy or genre), style (MLA, APA...), and
most importantly, anything resembling an ingredients list. If your
instructor has given you a bulleted list, you’re home free.
What if the assignment is vague or uses terms you find unfamiliar?
That can happen. What you do then is ask questions, preferably in
class when the instructor is going over the assignment for the first
time. This may sound obvious, but some students enter college
with remnants of the “be cool” attitude left over from high school
where sometimes, not always, but sometimes, asking questions
was seen as “dumb” or “sucking up” and greeted by eye-rolling or
worse by other students. A college is different. Asking questions
is what successful students do, and if you have thought of the
question, chances are many others in the class have thought of it
too and will be grateful that someone spoke up. The instructor
will be glad too – questions mean you’re paying attention and care
whether or not the class goes well for you.

12 \\ Intro
What do I know?
In anything that you choose to write about, you will have some sort of advanced
knowledge. It may not be much, but it will give you a spring-board to a starting point
in your research. For instance, if your topic is climate change, think about the key
names of leaders and maybe some terms involved: Al Gore, car emissions, the polar
icecaps. You don’t have to know much about a topic, but you can get a start without
opening a book if you just think about what you already know. You will probably not
know specific statistics or dates at first, but you will know where to start.

What do I need to find out?

Once you have your general topic – like climate change, for instance – and you’ve
established what you already know about it, then you need to determine what it is
you would like to know more about it. Because climate change is too vast a subject to
read or write about with any detail for the purposes of your instructor’s assignment,
you need to narrow your focus to something more specific about climate change. For
instance, you may have jotted down “ozone” when writing down what you already
know about the topic. Therefore, you might decide that you want to know more
about what causes climate change and why certain scientists think it is occurring and
others do not. So you look through a book about climate change, or you Google
“climate change + causes” and you learn by filtering through various sources that
may or may not be biased in their reporting.

What is the point of the paper/project?

Have you ever seen a preview for a movie that was misleading? You thought you
were going to see a movie about guys having an adventure in the wilderness and how
they survive only to discover the movie is really a documentary about a family of
ants. The disappointment and misunderstanding that follows is what your audience
will feel like if your topic is not specific, and if the rest of your paper does not make
good on the promise of your introductory paragraph, which should give a clear
preview of the rest of your paper.
The point of your paper is to reveal to your audience the details and information
about your particular topic and to follow the instructional guide set out by your
instructor. A specific question will guide your entire paper. The answer is sometimes
called a thesis, and much of the writing you will do in college classes is thesis-driven
writing. Once you know what your thesis is, you can then make sure that everything
in the paper connects to it in some way. The goal is for your paper to look and sound
like a crystal stream instead of a muddy ocean. There may be many things that you
are interested in discussing in your paper. However, a paper must have one focus (or
thesis) to sound clear.
Once you have your thesis, some of the following brainstorming ideas may be
helpful to determine what best fits under your topic. Brainstorming will also help you
expand the sub-points.

Brainstorming & Prewriting // 13

 Sources of Inspiration
Many times an instructor will give you the option of choosing your topic for an
assignment. This can be a daunting task for anyone, but some students enjoy the
thought of picking their own topic to dive into. Either way, something is bound
to spark your interest and give you a good starting idea for your assignment. The
following Interest Inventory1 may help jumpstart your prewriting process:
1. Favorite recent movie: The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
»» because I loved the books and for once the movie got it right; Peter Jackson
seems to have the same attention to detail that JRR Tolkien did when he
created the worlds of Middle Earth.
2. Favorite sport to watch: soccer
»» because I like the agility, speed, and endurance levels of the players. I also like
it that it’s not overly violent and it has international appeal.
3. Favorite sport to play: volleyball
»» because I associate it with beaches, summer, family and friends getting
together.
4. Favorite TV show: CSI
»» because I learn something every time—it’s the science instruction I never had.
I also love it that the main character gets excited about and seems to know
everything about bugs.
5. Favorite piece of nonfiction: Brain Droppings by George Carlin
»» because George is hilarious while dissecting the English language, society, and
taboo subjects.
6. Favorite popular fiction book: the Harry Potter series
»» because it’s clever and it transports me. Plus, I love it because it led kids to
love reading.
7. Favorite Magazine: Entertainment Weekly
»» because I enjoy consuming popular culture during my down time and the
writers of that magazine manage to be smart and provocative about pop
culture.
8. Favorite kind of music: jazz/American standards
»» because I like just about all music on some level, but I’m a huge fan of Miles
Davis, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday. I like how I can hear in Billie Holiday’s
voice all the trouble she went through.
9. Favorite kind of vacation: beach
»» because I like to get up really early and walk on the beach to watch the sun
rise, because I love seafood, sea breeze, salt water, sand, sun, breakfast on
1 H. Brooke Hessler, Elizabeth Woodworth, Amy Rupiper Taggart, Cathy Gabor Stefanick, Carol Lattimore,
and Billie Hara. “Interest Inventory.” Write to Succeed.

14 \\ Intro
 the terrace overlooking the ocean, because I love dinner on the terrace
overlooking the ocean; I love the waves and the unending movement of the
seas.
10. Favorite type of food: Asian
»» because I adore all kinds of vegetables, really enjoy hot food, and like the
experience of eating with chopsticks.
Now sit back and review your list. Look for patterns, similarities and differences –
things you feel strongly about. Begin to think about why you have developed these
particular preferences. Somewhere in this inventory you may find a topic for an essay,
a story worth telling…
In Addition to the Interest Inventory, consider the following:
• Dreams:
»» Your dreams, whether real-life occupational/career goals, personal wishes/
wants, or even those you have while sleeping or staring out the window while
driving, can frequently contain topics or ideas worthy of writing about.
• Memories/Experiences:
»» Thinking about who you are and the experiences that inform your identity can
be a fruitful exercise for coming up with writing topics or ways to approach a
particular topic.
• Journaling:
»» Keep track of your ideas and emotions on a regular basis. These thoughts
can be the starting point for an assignment or may provide those extra details
needed to make the paper more effective. Through tons of research, keeping a
journal has been proven to help your writing for personal or academic papers.
Reflecting on things around you as well as things you read and talk about in
class will point you in the direction you need to go to improve your writing
skills.
• Discussions with family, friends, colleagues, etc.
»» Such as talking politics with relatives, reviewing movies with friends, and
debating organizational policies with co-workers.

Brainstorming & Prewriting // 15

 Why Prewrite? 2

Prewriting for even 5 to 20 minutes can help you establish what you already know
about a paper topic, as well as aid you in discovering where you would like to go with
a paper (i.e. what you want to know). Doing so can often help prevent you from
committing to superficial and/or mundane responses. Prewriting can help you find
strong, thoughtful, and clear answers to questions posed by either the assignment
or by your consideration of it. It can reveal to you those potential areas of personal
interest within the writing task: in a manner of speaking, prewriting enables you
to “discover” yourself within the context of your topic. It can also help you nail
down responses – to move ideas from short-term memory into long-term or written
memory – so that you can get to the work of writing rather than trying to remember
what it is you want to say. That is, your thinking is often more clear and better
focused when engaged in actual writing. As such, prewriting can act as a tool to ward
off or break through what is commonly called “writer’s block.”

Prewriting Activities:
The following are techniques that can aid in the composition process, either in
coming up with ideas or in working through various obstacles along the way:
Brainstorming:
Brainstorming is one of the most effective pre-writing techniques you can use. It’s
virtually painless and can be pretty fun, if you let it! Brainstorming is easy because
there are NO RULES. Let your mind wander and think about things that you would
like to explore more. Try to create a mental web of things you can connect to one
another. Let the lightning of ideas strike you as they may. If you’d like a bit more
structure in your prewriting, try one of these methods:
Listing:
Listing allows the writer to accomplish several important tasks:
• Finding a topic (use the Interest Inventory)
• Determining whether you have enough information for a topic before
proceeding:
»» After narrowing down your topic, create a list with everything
Freewriting:
Similar to listing, only in this case you simply start writing in sentence form literally
anything that comes to mind in context of thinking about your topic and/or
assignment.
Outline:
This form of prewriting is geared more toward organization. It groups your thoughts
into a definite main point and the supporting details.
2 “Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep 2008, 16:02 UTC. 11 May
2016, 18:08 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Basic_Writing/Print_version&oldid=1273791>.

16 \\ Intro
Clustering:
Clustering is a primarily visual form of pre-writing. You start out with a central idea
written in the middle of the page. You can then form main ideas which stem from
the central idea.

Brainstorming & Prewriting // 17

 THESIS & TOPIC
SENTENCES 1

edited by Sybil Priebe

1 “Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep 2008, 16:02
UTC. 11 May 2016, 18:08 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Basic_Writing/Print_
version&oldid=1273791>.

A thesis statement is a statement that expresses the main idea

of your paper. It is usually one sentence, but it can be longer if
necessary. Think of a thesis statement as a topic sentence for your
entire paper.

Placement of Your Thesis Statement

A thesis statement is usually the last sentence of the first
paragraph of a paper. However, a thesis can appear anywhere
in your paper: it can be the first sentence, the very last sentence,
or anywhere in between. It is uncommon in academic writing,
however, to find a thesis beyond the first page of a paper. It
is also customary to restate the main idea of your paper in the
conclusion, so that your paper leaves a clear impression on the
reader.

General v. Specific Thesis Statements

Naturally, you want your thesis to be very specific in the sense
that it exactly states your main idea. However, how specific or
general you make that idea can be very important to the outcome
of the paper. A thesis that is too broad will not provide enough
direction, and a thesis that is to narrow may keep you from
discussing some key issues related to the topic.

18 \\ Intro
 • Example A: Television has had a negative impact on American society.
• Example B: Violent television has caused some teenagers to change the way they
perceive violence in real life.
• Example C: South Park has influenced some teenagers to commit violent acts.
Unless you are planning on writing a book, Example A simply covers too much
territory. Example B is probably ideal for a longer research paper. Example C, on
the other hand, might be too restrictive if you were aiming to write a longer paper
because it only allows you to discuss one negative effect of one specific television
program, but just right for a short essay. Essentially, there is no such thing as “too
general” or “too specific.” It is simply a matter of matching the thesis to the ideal
length.
If the scope changes or your focus shifts (or even if you change your mind
completely) while you are researching or writing, it is fine to change your thesis
statement so it better reflects what you want to say about the topic, but you must be
sure that all the information in the final draft supports the new thesis.

Example Thesis Statements from Various Disciplines

It is probably worth noting that the above examples are probably a bit too simple
to be representative of actual thesis statements, but the following are examples of
reasonable thesis statements one might use to address a wide variety of topics and
for a variety of purposes:
1. Math/Natural Science (to explain): Although Fibonacci sequences are most often
applied to mathematical contexts, the sequences play an interesting role in nature
as well.
2. Art (to explain): Pablo Picasso’s innovative approach to art led to a new
movement, not only in art, but in music and literature as well.
3. Psychology/Criminal Justice (to persuade): It is unethical to sentence serial killers
to the death penalty because they are essentially mentally ill.
4. Literature (to analyze): A different aspect of the American dream motivates each
of the main characters in John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men.
5. Agriculture (to persuade): The USDA’s current procedure for detecting mad cow
disease in cattle earmarked for human consumption is grossly inadequate.
6. Astronomy (to analyze): There are valid arguments on both sides of the
controversy regarding the recent reclassification of Pluto.
7. Business (to explain): The quantity theory of money emphasizes the positive
relationship of overall prices with the quantity of money.

Thesis & Topic Sentences // 19

 Topic Sentences
So, thesis statements tell us the goal of the entire writing assignment, and topic
sentences tell us the goal of a particular paragraph. Essentially, the CEO is the thesis
statement, and the topic sentences are the managers.
If you were to return to the Prewriting method of Outlining in the previous chapter,
you’d easily see how topic sentences are created. For a delicious visual of this, check
out this hamburger:

20 \\ Intro
Tips1
1. Often, writing an introductory paragraph is the most difficult part of writing an
essay. Facing a blank page can be daunting. First, determine the context in which
you want to place your topic. In other words, identify an overarching category in
which you would place your topic, and then introduce your topic as a case-in-point.
»» For example, if you are writing about dogs, you may begin by speaking about
friends, dogs being an example of a very good friend. Alternatively, you can
begin with a sentence on selective breeding, dogs being an example of extensive
selective breeding. You can also begin with a sentence on means of protection,
dogs being an example of a good way to stay safe. The context is the starting
point for your introductory paragraph. The topic or thesis sentence is the
ending point. Once the starting point and ending point are determined, it will be
easier to connect these points with the narrative of the opening paragraph.
2. When writing an essay for a class assignment, make sure to follow your teacher
or professor’s suggestions. Most teachers will reward creativity and thoughtful
organization over dogmatic adherence to a prescribed structure. Many will not. If
you are not sure how your teacher will respond to a specific structure, ask.
3. It is often effective to end a body paragraph with a sentence that rationalizes its
presence in the essay. Ending a body paragraph without some sense of closure may
cause the thought to sound incomplete.
4. Transitions connect the paragraphs together by using key words to draw the reader
from one paragraph (idea) to the next.
5. Each body paragraph is something like a miniature essay in that they each need an
introductory sentence that sounds important and interesting, and that they each
need a good closing sentence in order to produce a smooth transition between
one point and the next. Body paragraphs can be long or short. It depends on the
idea you want to develop in your paragraph. Depending on the specific style of the
essay, you may be able use very short paragraphs to signal a change of subject or to
explain how the rest of the essay is organized.
6. Do not spend too long on any one point. Providing extensive background may
interest some readers, but others would find it tiresome. Keep in mind that the
main importance of an essay is to provide basic background on a subject and,
hopefully, to spark enough interest to induce further reading.
7. As with all writing, it is important to know your audience. Place yourself in your
teacher’s position and try to imagine reading one formulaic essay after another. If
you want yours to stand out, capture your teacher’s attention and make your essay
interesting, funny, or compelling.

1 “How to Write an Essay/Parts.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 22 Apr 2016, 07:12 UTC.
16 May 2016, 14:59 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=How_to_Write_an_Essay/
Parts&oldid=3073150>.

Thesis & Topic Sentences // 21

 DRAFTING 1

edited by Sybil Priebe

1 “Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep
2008, 16:02 UTC. 11 May 2016, 18:08 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.
php?title=Basic_Writing/Print_version&oldid=1273791>.

Nobody gets it right the first time

Whether a writer is the next Ernest Hemingway, or a student at
any level, drafting must be done as a part of successful writing.
Even when writers work to deadline and write at a single sitting,
they return to parts of it again and again in order to get it just
right.
It does not matter whether the work is a research paper or
a poem, all forms of writing need to be drafted. Since a
professional writer almost never creates a perfect first draft, don’t
feel bad if you need several drafts too. So, if you find yourself
very unhappy about your first try at a paper, think of it as just the
start of something better, i.e. the rough draft. Another advantage
to multiple drafts is that the more drafting you do the more
chances you have of catching mistakes and improving the paper.
This is why it is so important to make time for multiple drafts
during the writing process. The time spent drafting will bring you
closer than ever to a more kick-ass version of your final draft.

The importance of just getting it on the page

Not much can be done for a piece of writing until it is on paper
or computer screen. You may worry that the paper will not be
very good or even think that it will be awful, yet you won’t really
know until you’ve actually written it. Not only will you and your
reader(s) not be able to see what you have written, but there is no
chance of working to fix what has not yet been written.

22 \\ Intro
Drafting // 23
 Types of Drafts 1

Rough draft
A rough draft is a very important step in the writing process. Writing more than one
draft gives you the opportunity to catch problems and see where the paper may not
be working. So, it is a very good idea to leave yourself with enough time to write at
least two or three drafts of your paper. You may want to do an outline to plan your
paper beforehand, but doing that is not always necessary. After you choose your
topic, any possible research and or sources needed in order you can begin actually
writing. While you write your rough draft, you may not feel completely satisfied
about the paper, but that’s okay because that is what a rough draft is for. You want
to give yourself a chance to work to get to the best arrangement of ideas and find
different ways of expressing them.
Form: intro, body, conclusion and paragraph
Start it, say it, finish it – that’s an academic writing draft in its simplest form.
Start it. The introduction starts it all. That’s where you get the reader involved
in what you are writing about and along the way, and it also gets them interested
in what you have to say. At the end of the introduction section, many forms of
academic writing have a thesis – the main idea or claim.
Say it. Say what you have to say, and don’t forget to set up a sequence of ideas that
will eventually lead to the conclusion. Each idea or “point” needs room to breathe,
so give it its own paragraph, at the very least. Supporting details and examples will
also help.
Finish it. The conclusion wraps it all up in a way that doesn’t just repeat the thesis-
-it makes it both bigger and more specific. The term for this kind of writing is
“synthesis.” In synthesis, the whole is greater than its parts, and that is exactly what a
good conclusion does.
Needless to say, each part involves using paragraphs, but it’s helpful at the drafting
stage to think more about “sections.” An introduction can be more than one
paragraph. A body needs to be more than one paragraph. A conclusion can be one
paragraph or more. If your natural tendency when drafting is to move full-steam
ahead in one long paragraph with the intention of breaking it up later, it’s worth the
effort to slow down a bit and make those paragraph breaks as you write. Your draft
will be better organized in the long run, a good thing for you and your future reader.

1 “Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep 2008, 16:02 UTC. 11 May
2016, 18:08 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Basic_Writing/Print_version&oldid=1273791>.

24 \\ Intro
The In-Between Drafts: Peer Review Drafts, Editing Drafts, etc.
Here, the process between drafts overlaps. By your second draft, you might already
have some revisions figured out. The third draft might be what you bring to Peer
Review. Sneak ahead a few pages to see the various drafts a student completed on a
letter-writing assignment.

Final Draft
Yay! Here’s how you know you have a final draft:
1. The overall structure and organization is solid. The thesis is clear, and your topic
sentences link back to that thesis statement. Each of the paragraphs is centered
around the topic sentence.
2. You’ve edited for clarity and audience.
3. The nerdy proofreader in you, or at your tutoring center, found any goofy errors
in punctuation, spelling, and grammar.
4. The writing assignment has been formatted in MLA or APA style; all sources are
properly cited in the text and at the end of the paper with full details.

Drafting // 25
 REVISING 1

edited by Sybil Priebe

1 “Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep
2008, 16:02 UTC. 11 May 2016, 17:39 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.
php?title=Basic_Writing/Print_version&oldid=1273791>.

Revising is re-vision--seeing your paper again. Revising

is more than correcting spelling errors; it’s finding clarity of
thought. It could even be finding new thoughts you didn’t have
before you started the paper. You might find yourself getting rid
of extra fluff.
As you were writing, you were revising if you think about it.
You had concerns about the paper as you were constructing it.
Write those concerns down (make notes in the margin, highlight,
make familiar marks) so that you can return to them. Identify
what you think are strengths too and bring the rest of your paper
to the level you are seeking.

When to Revise
Your first draft shouldn’t be your final draft. No draft is ever
perfect; there’s always room for improvement. You have to have
content to work with before you revise. After you have completed
drafting your ideas and have established what you consider to be a
complete product of the thoughts you intend to convey, then dive
into the revision process.

Steps
Read carefully over your draft several times, with a different
purpose in mind to check a specific problem each time. Look first
for content (what you said), then organization (your arrangement
of ideas), and finally style (the way you use words).
Listen carefully. Read your paper aloud for confusing statements
or awkward wording. Listen for the paper’s flow and pay attention
to details one idea to the next. Each idea should come to some
sort of conclusion while introducing the next idea, and each idea
should relate to the one before it and the one after it.
Take time between readings. Allow yourself time to finish a
paper so you can put it aside and read it fresh when you go back
to it later, to be more objective.
26 \\ Intro
The essential components of content are the intended purpose, sufficient support,
and that all the details are related to the main idea of your paper.
• Achieving the intended purpose – does it provide explanation, details, argument,
or narration? Does it complete the writing assignment’s goal, as explained by
your instructor?
• Providing sufficient support – does it need more detail, facts, examples to
support the topic?
• Including relevant details – do you need to cut any irrelevant “fluff ”
information?
The importance of organization is to arrange ideas and details to make the most
effective order, and to connect ideas to show a clear logic of thought process.
• Ideas and details are arranged in the most effective order--ideas and details
should make your meaning more clear.
• Ideas are logical and clear – use of appropriate transition words to relay the
connection of thoughts (such as “therefore”, “for example”) and any use of
sentence combining techniques.
The power of your style will make the meaning clear, interesting for the audience
with purpose, and insure the sentences read smoothly.
• Is the meaning clear – did you use vague or general terms where you need to be
precise?
• Is the language interesting, appropriate for audience and purpose – is the
language to be formal or informal, did you avoid slang and clichés?
• Is it smooth – did you use a variety of sentence structures?
Four steps to revising: add, cut, replace, and reorder. These are the words you
can use in the margin of your paper as you read and make decisions to revise. If
you know the standard editing marks you can make revisions directly to the writing
context.
Questions you might ask of your final paper:
• Are you saying what you mean to say?
• Will your audience understand it?
• Will it accomplish the purpose?
If you want to be more critical of your writing, judge its readability, clarity, and
interest to its audience.

Revising // 27
 Editing 1

What is editing?
Editing is sometimes confused with Revising, or with Proofreading. After you
feel you’ve revised the draft as much as is needed, editing comes into play. Editing
involves a number of small changes in a draft that can make a big difference in the
draft’s readability and coherence. Editing can happen at several points in the drafting
process--not just at the end to “fix” things that are wrong.
So, what kinds of things happen when editing? Here are a few:
• word changes
• minor sentence rearrangement
• added transitions
• changes for clarity
• minor deletions

What should I edit for?

The main areas that should be addressed in editing are: Content and Structure.
When editing the content of your writing, it is important to make sure your work
has a clear focus or main idea. By asking yourself a few questions, you can avoid
incomplete thoughts and/or irrelevant material. The following is a checklist you can
use in editing your content:
◊ I have discovered what is important about my topic.
◊ I have expressed the main idea clearly.
◊ I have removed material that is unnecessary, confusing, or irrelevant.
Editing for structure ensures that your ideas are presented in a logical order. A
single idea should be represented in each paragraph. Transitions serve to make
the relationships between ideas clear. The following checklist is helpful in editing
structure:
◊ My ideas are logically connected to one another.
◊ Each paragraph deals with only one major idea.
◊ I have included appropriate transitional words or phrases.

1 “Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep 2008, 16:02 UTC. 11 May
2016, 17:39 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Basic_Writing/Print_version&oldid=1273791>.

28 \\ Intro
Where does Proofreading Come into Play?
Proofreading is the process of carefully reviewing a text for errors, especially surface
errors such as spelling, punctuation, grammar, formatting, and typing errors. So,
refining the mechanics in the proofreading phase prevents the reader from being
distracted from your ideas. Here’s a checklist can also help you catch these errors in
your writing:
◊ I have used punctuation marks and capitalization correctly.
◊ I have checked the spelling of unfamiliar words.
◊ All subjects and verbs agree.
◊ I have corrected run-ons and sentence fragments.
◊ I have used words with the correct meanings in their proper context.
Let’s look at a paragraph that is ready for editing and/or proofreading.

An example
Scrooge McDuck (pre-editing)
Scrooge McDuck is a rich and famous lucky duck that has it all: the luxurious
mansion, 3 intelligent and athletic nephews (and one niece that gets in the way), a
global industry in his name that sells anything and everything, and skyscraper sized
vault of gold coins, rubies, and iconic bags of money. Scrooge McDuck would have
it all if it weren’t for one minute problem. Every other day someone tries to steal his
money. People have moved it into the ocean and tried to claim salvage rights. They’ve
moved it away with magic, futuristic helicopters, and old-fashioned diesel trucks.
Scrooge has researched every possible idea to keep people out of his money bin.
Now he needs tosolve that problem once and for all.
This is a pretty good introduction to an essay that’s about finding the best possible solution to a
problem for a fictional character. However, taking a closer look and making a few small changes
could make it even better.
Scrooge McDuck: the Money and the Mayhem (edited version)
Scrooge McDuck is a rich and famous lucky duck that has it all: the luxurious
mansion, three intelligent and athletic nephews, and one niece that gets in the way.
Owner of a global industry in his name that sells anything and everything as well as
a skyscraper sized vault of gold coins, rubies, and iconic bags of money, Scrooge
McDuck would have it all if it weren’t for one tiny problem. Every other day
someone tries to steal his money. People have moved it into the ocean and tried to
claim salvage rights. They’ve moved it away with magic, futuristic helicopters, and
old-fashioned diesel trucks. Viewers of Ducktales know that Scrooge has researched
every possible idea to keep people out of his money bin. Now he needs to solve that
problem once and for all.

Revising // 29
 Editing, Proofreading and the Writing
Process
A major question that students will probably find themselves asking is this: How do
I know when to edit a paper? How do I know it’s time to proofread? As a matter of
fact, there is no simple answer to those questions. Writing is a process that involves
several steps, and these steps do not always occur in a straight line. Writing any sort
of text is a circular rather than a linear process. Writers are rarely completely finished
with one step, even after they move onto the next.
Most people tend to think that editing tends to happen sometime near the
completion of the paper. In fact, that is not always the case. While the most
important part of writing is simply the ability to express yourself and get ideas
across, it can sometimes be helpful to take a quick break from drafting or revising
and to spend some time editing (or even proofread a bit). Sometimes, playing with
word choice, sentence structure, or transitions can help stimulate your mind, leading
to new ideas. Thus, it’s important to realize that editing is not necessarily a one-step
action, but rather something that can be done throughout the entire writing process.

30 \\ Intro
1 “Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep 2008, 16:02 UTC. 11 May
2016, 17:39 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Basic_Writing/Print_version&oldid=1273791>.

Revising // 31
 STUDENT SAMPLE: DRAFTING & REVISING

Title of Assignment: Dear Me at _(age)_

Word Count Required: 250+
Details: Write a letter to your younger self; you get to choose the age, but I would suggest
anywhere from 10-15. What do you want to tell your younger self ? What advice do you have
right now? You can be serious or funny; it’s your letter to YOU.

Dear Me at 15 - First Draft

Dear Julia,
How are you? Are you shocked that I am writing to you from the future? Me too. Here are
some things I wanted to tell you:
When it comes to the family, Mom and Dad are about to get a divorce. But it is not your
fault. Don’t blame yourself. They are unhappy, and I think you can feel that in the apartment
when they are around together. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable, and I don’t think they do
either.
All your friends will see changes too in their lives. Being a teenager sucks, and you should
just realize that right away. Braces suck your teeth will look great later on tho.

Dear Me at 15 - Second Draft

Dear Julia,
How are you? Are you shocked that I am writing to you from the future? Me too. Here
are some things I wanted to tell you: Mom & Dad are about to divorce. This crushes you
because you think it is your fault. It isn’t. You should focus your energy on your little sister,
Hayley. She starts to rebel because of the divorce.
All your friends will see changes too in their lives. Tanya’s parents divorce and you are both
sad together. You two need to support each other and talk about what’s going on. When I
was first in your shoes, I ignored a lot of people, but maybe you’ll listen to this letter and do
better than me.

Dear Me at 15 - Peer Review

Dear Julia,
How are you? Are you shocked that I am writing to you from the future? Me too.
Here are some things I wanted to tell you: Mom & Dad are about to divorce. This crushes
you because you think it is your fault. It isn’t. [Maybe you should say more about why it’s
not your fault?] You should focus your energy on your little sister, Hayley. She starts to rebel
because of the divorce. [How does she rebel? What specifics should your younger self do?]
All your friends will see changes too in their lives. Tanya’s parents divorce and you are both
sad together. You two need to support each other and talk about what’s going on. When I
was first in your shoes, I ignored a lot of people, but maybe you’ll listen to this letter and do
better than me. [Give more details here, too. How can your younger self do better this time?]

32 \\ Intro
 Dear Me at 15 - Third Draft
Dear Julia,
How are you? Are you shocked that I am writing to you from the future? Me too.
Here are some things I wanted to tell you:
Mom & Dad are about to divorce. This crushes you because you think it is your fault. It isn’t.
They chose to be with each other, and it didn’t work. They wanted to have you, but they
couldn’t make it work as a couple. These things are not related. Please know that!
You should focus your energy on your little sister, Hayley. She starts to rebel because of the
divorce. In school, try to say hi to her in the hallways more. Try to talk to her everyday to
show your support because the rebelling starts with her getting into trouble with her teachers
first and goes from there.
All your friends will see changes too in their lives. Tanya’s parents divorce and you are both
sad together. You two need to support each other and talk about what’s going on. When I
was first in your shoes, I ignored a lot of people, but maybe you’ll listen to this letter and
do better than me. At one point, she invites you over for a Friday night sleepover. You don’t
want to go, but you should. She needs to talk to you that night, so go and listen.

Dear Me at 15 - Proofreading
Dear Julia,
How are you? Are you shocked that I am writing to you from the future? Me, too.
Here are some things I wanted to tell you:
Mom & Dad are about going to divorce. This crushes you because you think it is your fault.
It isn’t. They chose to be with each other, and it didn’t work. They wanted to have you, but
they couldn’t make it work as a couple. These things are not related. Please know that!
You should focus your energy on your little sister, Hayley. She starts to rebel because of the
divorce. In school, try to say “Hi” to her in the hallways more. Try to talk to her everyday to
show your support because the rebelling starts with her getting into trouble with her teachers
first and goes from there.
All your friends will see changes, too, in their lives. Tanya’s parents divorce, and you are both
sad together. You two need to support each other and talk about what’s going on. When I
was first in your shoes, I ignored a lot of people, but maybe you’ll listen to this letter and
do better than me. At one point, she invites you over for a Friday night sleepover. You don’t
want to go, but you should. She needs to talk to you that night, so go and listen.

Revising // 33
 PEER REVIEW 1

edited by Sybil Priebe

1 1 “Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep 2008, 16:02
UTC. 11 May 2016, 17:37 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Basic_Writing/Print_
version&oldid=1273791>.

Peer revision has added benefits over self-revision. Other people

can notice things in your paper that you didn’t. Some instructors
set aside class time for peer review, but even if your instructor
doesn’t, it’s a good idea to seek out feedback from a classmate,
roommate, a tutor (if your college has a tutoring center), or
anyone who can offer a fresh perspective.
If you’re the one who wrote the paper, make sure you tell your
peer what your biggest concern with the paper is. If you need
help writing a conclusion, you don’t want your peer to spend time
circling grammatical mistakes in a paragraph you were thinking
about deleting anyway. Remember, your peer isn’t just there to
catch your mistakes; he or she might have some ideas about new
material you can add to make your paper more exciting.
On the other hand, if you’re the one who is reviewing your peer’s
paper, think about what you’d want in his/her place. Ask if there’s
anything he’s/she’s having trouble with. Be nice, of course, but
don’t be so nice that you aren’t helpful. He/she may like to hear
“Good job,” but make sure to explain what you liked about the
paper and where you think it could be even better. Remember, it’s
not about whether the paper is good or bad; it’s about how it can be improved.
You have a responsibility to the student whose paper you are
reading. Be familiar with the qualities and requirements of the
assignment.
Possible list of peer revision questions:
• What is the writer’s purpose?
• Does the writing include all the necessary characteristics of its
particular type (cause-and-effect, narrative, research, etc.)?
• Is the writing organized logically?
• Has the writer used language that enhances his/her message?

34 \\ Intro
 • Is the writing unified/coherent?
• Did you point out the strength(s) or part(s) you found interesting?
• Is there any part that required more information?
• Is there any part that was irrelevant?
• Did you answer any questions the reader had about his/her writing?
Talking with someone else about your paper will always help you re-evaluate your
content. Sometimes it reassures you that you’ve got it right; sometimes it reveals to
you the places that need work. It is always a good idea to share your work before
submitting the final draft.

Peer Review // 35
 COMMON ESSAY
PROBLEMS 1

edited by Sybil Priebe

1 “Writing Better University Essays/Common essay problems.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project.
9 Apr 2015, 08:11 UTC. 11 May 2016, 16:20 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Writing_
Better_University_Essays/Common_essay_problems&oldid=2840084>.

By following the approach of essay writing outlined in this book,

you can avoid a whole range of very common essay problems:
1. Unstructured: If an essay is unstructured, it becomes difficult
to read. If you want to get your point across, or tell a story
well, you don’t want to alienate a reader with sentences and
paragraphs that aren’t connected to one another. Sometimes,
this can be solved by simply breaking up what you want to say
into paragraphs that cover one topic at a time.
2. Rambling: The problem of rambling is often just a symptom
of the above problem: lack of structure. By thinking in a
structured way, tendencies to ramble are reduced. Once you
know what you’re going to say, and in what order you’re going
to say it, it’s much easier to stay on track.
3. Not relevant: If your instructor requires you to conduct
research on X topic and you hand in a paper about your dog,
it’s not relevant. Perhaps you can bring up your dog if your
research topic is researching the best pets for families with
children.
Usually, the most common problem is students failing to answer
the question or fulfilling the paper/project’s goal. By paying
attention in class, to your instructor, and to the paper/project’s
handout, that problem will be resolved. Writing in a planned and
structured way, the remainder is addressed, too. By following the
outlined approach to essay writing, your answers will be focused
on the questions presented.

36 \\ Intro
Asking for and Getting Help 1

If you are having trouble getting started on a paper/project, try reading the samples
offered by your instructor – or in this book. They might jump start ideas for your
own paper/project.
Once you have a draft down on paper, if you can’t attend peer review in class – or
your instructor doesn’t include that in the process of that particular paper/project –
feel free to use the brianiacs around you or the tutors at the college tutoring center.
Seek out people to read your material.
When researching, head to your local library (if your college doesn’t have one). Ask
the librarian to help you, if you feel comfortable enough; they might appreciate a
break from their duties to help out, and they are knowledgeable of their space.
For advice on writing style, there are a great number of books available. Again, check
your bookshop or library. Some books focus on the choice of the right word, others
on different aspects of style. Note that different books give different stylistic advice.
If you’re unsure about plagiarism, or worried about your writing skills, the best way
to get help is approaching your tutor or supervisor. They will be familiar with most
of the conventions, and equally important, be able to guide you to more specialized
assistance should this be necessary. In terms of plagiarism, there are a number of
useful Internet sites, including http://www.plagiarism.com/.
If you aren’t a native English speaker, you might want to consider buying a grammar
handbook. The choice of grammar books is vast, and you should pick one you feel
comfortable with. The same goes for dictionaries, if you’re not a native speaker; in
addition, look around for books focusing on English as a foreign language.

1 “Writing Better University Essays/Common essay problems.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9
Apr 2015, 08:11 UTC. 11 May 2016, 16:20 <https://en.wikibooks.org/w/index.php?title=Writing_Better_
University_Essays/Common_essay_problems&oldid=2840084>.

Common Essay Problems // 37