MAN

AS A BEING-WITH: THE INTERHUMAN

AND THE SOCIAL
q “Man is by nature social”.
- Aristotle

If man were to exist isolated by himself he would

be a beast, something less than human. Man
needs to live in society in order to achieve a
human way of existing.

No man can ever be regarded as an island. He

has to live with others.
qMan as a person means that man is unique; that
man is a who; that man is a subject; and that
man is a self (who is the center of
consciousness).
qBy virtue of the fact that man as a person is
unique, a who, a subject, and a self, man is never
alone in his existence in the world; man has that
enduring feature of his being-with existence in
the world.
q Man, who is a person, never reveals himself in
isolation but always in his togetherness with
others. The unconcealment of a human person’s
uniqueness always happens in the context of
others. The undubitable fact is that human
existence is always an existence of relationship.
Man is never alone in his existence in the world;
man’s existence is always a “being-with”
existence. Hence, man’s being-with-others-in-
the-world.
MAN AS A BEING-WITH-OTHERS
qIn man’s intersubjectivity or co-existence, man is
called to treat his fellowman as a person; this is
made possible only in the context of man’s being-
with existence.
qMan’s personhood should not be contrasted to
man’s humanity and individuality. The personhood
(pagpakatao) is part and parcel of man’s humanity
(pagkatao). And man’s individuality (pagiging siya
sa kanyang pagkatao) manifests man’s individual
unique personhood, inasmuch as the individual is
the person, and the person is the individual.
qMan’s being-with-others can be viewed from
two standpoints: general and specific. Generally,
man’s being-with-others as a person is man’s
intrinsic being-with to both things and man’s
fellow human persons. Specifically, man’s being-
with is treated in the existential perspective.
Man alone has the capacity to co-exist with
his/her fellow human persons.
qMan’s being-with-others requires a learning
process in the context of the quality or mode of
man’s being-with since human relatedness is not
immediately given but needs to be established.
qMan establishes a relationship with his
fellowman in three levels: I – It, I – He/She, and
I – Thou.
• The various needs of man point to his social nature.
Psychologists emphasize man’s 3 A’s as his major needs:
q Attention
q Affection
q Acceptance

• However, every individual has a hierarchy of needs, as

given by Abraham Maslow, which should be met through
and with others if he is to develop human needs.
q Physiological or Physical needs
q Safety needs
q Social needs
q Esteem needs
Self-esteem
The esteem of others
q Self-actualization
MAN AS A BEING-FOR-OTHERS
• One of the basic needs of man is the need to love
and be loved. However, the common orientation
at present is not for others, but for oneself.
• The first and ultimate expression of man’s being
for others is LOVE. When God in the person of
Jesus gave the greatest commandments, he said:
“Love God above all things and love your
neighbor as you love yourself.” Although charity
really begins at home, it should not stop there; it
must be extended to others.
• Teilhard de Chardin claims that true love desires the
other’s good. All beings are attracted to what is good
and are repelled by what is bad. He believes that
living beings need others like themselves & that
sexual love unites spiritual and sensual love, that
there is no no normal man outside of normal
relationships, and that every man has a duty to love.
• St. Thomas Aquinas refers to love as the inclination
of the will towards the good even in its basic and
fundamental sense. But the meaning of love,
especially, between humans is inter-subjective and
mutual.
WHY DOES MAN CHOOSE TO LIVE
IN A SOCIETY?
qIt involves a compromise, a trade. As human
beings we make the sacrifice involved in living in
society because we sense that we are gaining
something in return. We willingly give up some
of our freedom and our rights in the hope, first
of all, of attaining peace and security through
social laws. Through society we gain protection
from the dangers, turmoil and violence found in
such barbaric life outside of society.
qTo affirm that living in society represents full
human existence. By living within the structures and
control of a society an individual human being finds
realization. Human beings choose friendship,
marriage, a career and an involvement in a
community because they want a fuller human life.
They are aware of the painful demands and control
that each of these social involvements will bring into
their lives but they see those demands and controls
as part of something greater: a rich, life-giving and
meaningful life in society.
 SOURCES OF MEANING IN
MAN’S LIFE IN A SOCIAL
CONTEXT
qGOALS
There are many goals in our lives that are
derived from the particular societies in which we
live. These goals that give meaning to my life are
not simply “my” goals, they are “our” goals.
qRELATIONSHIPS
Much of the meaning of human life is
connected with social relationships;
relationships that we have with others. These
personal relationships give significance to the
actions that we perform in life.
qVALUES
Values are things that are important for us.
Most of the values in our lives come from our
families and culture will always remain part of
my life.
qROLES
As we live our lives we find ourselves in
various roles and the meaning of who we are and
what we do comes to a great extent from these
roles. Any role presupposes the existence of a
total social situation of which the role is part.
qCHALLENGES
Many of the challenges of life comes from
other people. In responding to them I find my
life full of meaning. Challenges also come to us
in life from our competitors.
OBJECTIVE RELATIONSHIPS
qThere is a distancing of the self from the other, a
distancing that is achieved through
objectification.

qThere is a viewing of the other in terms of a

mental category, a category of feeling or
judgment.
MANIPULATIVE RELATIONSHIPS
qWe have here not only an awareness of the other but
also some actual interaction with that other
individual.
qThe other individual is understood as a means by
which I will satisfy my want or achieve my goal.
qThe activity of this relationship is the activity of a
separate subject such as was found in the objective
relationship.
qThe subject does not treat other individuals as
persons in such acts of manipulating them.
FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS
qThere is a lived involvement with the other.
qThere is a mutual benefiting of one another in
these involvements.
qThe awareness of the other that is present here
is limited to the function which the other plays
in the involvement and the relating that is lived
here is similarly limited.
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
qIn a personal relationship there is a living with the
other, a mutuality.
qIn this relationship there is an awareness of the
other as unique, as free and as historical.
qThe awareness of the other found in a personal
relationship reveals the other as unconditional, as
an absolute, as someone who deserves to be
respected and treasured.
qThe awareness of the other in such a personal
relationship pervades one’s entire existence by
giving not only support to my existence but also an
added dimension of meaning.
qFrom personal relationships arise expectations
that are permanently there in my life.
qThis personal relationship is active.
qThe other in this personal relationship is not
objectified.
qIn this experience of a personal relationship I
have a sense of myself as a full person.
qIn a personal relationship there is constant
communication.
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP VALUES
By Dr. Phil McGraw
§ Own your own relationship.
§ Accept the risk of vulnerability.
§ Accept your partner.
§ Focus on friendship.
§ Promote your partner’s self-esteem.
§ Aim your frustrations in the right direction.
§ Be up front and forthright.
§ Make yourself happy instead of right tolerance,
understanding or compassion that does not
escalate hostility in relationship.
§ Allow your relationship to transcend turmoil.
§ Put motion into your emotion
• The truth is that the more intimately you know
someone, the more clearly you’ll see their flaws.
That’s just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why
friendships don’t last. You might think you love
someone until you see the way they act when they’re
out of money or under pressure or hungry, for
goodness’ sake. Love is something different. Love is
choosing to serve someone and be with someone in
spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind. Love
is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice,
its seeing the darkness in another person and defying
the impulse to jump ship.
No relationship is perfect. As much as you would want it to be perfect, it
will never be perfect. It's always good before it gets bad, it's always easy
before it gets hard, and it always feels perfect before it gets real. You'll
always see the best in each other before you bring out the worst of each
other. As the connection gets deeper and the attachment gets stronger,
that's when you're gonna see just exactly how vulnerable you've made
yourself to each other. That's when the flaws and faults start to show
themselves. That's when the problems and differences start to settle in.
This is where most people give up because now everything is too
complicated or too difficult and that's when they try to find someone
better, but the thing is even with someone better, it's never going to be
perfect. It's not about being with someone better or having that perfect
relationship, it's about knowing the value of what you have right in front
of you and making it work despite the challenges it may bring. Sure, it
feels amazing when you two get along and it feels miserable when you two
argue, but the beauty in that is being able to always find your way back to
each other when you're on the verge of losing one another because that
goes to show that it's something worth fighting for and it's meant to be
saved. So there might not such a thing as a perfect relationship, but a
beautiful one? Yeah, those do exist because what's beautiful isn't always
perfect, and it's something we all deserve.
- Teddy Nguyen
CONCLUSION
As we live our normal lives seeking goals, responding to
values, living with relationships, playing roles and
responding to challenges we are leading a very social
existence.

A basic criterion for one’s humanity would be the extent

that one has personalized his life, the extent that is
sensitive to the personal dimension of others and
responds to others in a personal way.

Man is always living a complex existence made up of

both social and individual aspects. At every moment of
man’s existence he lives both as an individual and as a
member of society.