My Family: Roots and Wings of My Personhood (Family Symbol)

MY FAMILY: ROOTS AND WINGS OF MY PERSONHOOD
(FAMILY SYMBOL)
Introduction:
For a person to grow in self-knowledge, one needs to understand the significant

influences and relationships in one's life. The family is the primary source of this wealth and
information. All of us coke from a family, do you? As a system (family) is composed of
members who do not function independently of one another, but as a unified whole.
Connectedness: The family members are connected by a central sense of oneness, of belonging
to one another. This session will help us deepen our self-knowledge by knowing our family. Do
you accept each of them as a family member? Do you think they accept you as theirs? Do you
own your family in public? Do you tell them to your friends? Are you proud of them, or are you
ashamed of them?
We can never shake off ourselves our father and mother. But we can go beyond that.
Your father had a mother and a father; your mother had a mother and a father. Your grandparents
had parents and they are all coming out through you. If you go back only 3 generations, 16
parents are inside you. If you go back ten generations, every person has within himself 1024
parents. So in effect, you might say that every person is a giant 747 jet loaded with hundreds of
parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. This explains some of the forces, some of the
drives and some of the genetic impulses that come through you in your lifetime. The good news
is, there is a pilot in this jet. And HE controls the destiny of the whole ship, including all the
ancestors that might be influencing it. GOD in HIS guidance provides encounters, experiences
and other people that will give your life directions and purpose and has brought you to a great
degree to where you are today.
RELIVING AND REVIEWING MY FAMILY SYMBOL

Introduction:
A well-known psychologist named Sigmund Freud stressed the significance of the early
formative years (0-7 years old) in the development of a person. He believed that what happens to
the child in his/her early development will have significant impact and influence to his/her
personality in adulthood. It is in our early experiences that we establish the foundation of our
person. Other psychologist, however, recognize that present influences could still change a
person even though our past basically forms the structure from which our personality begins.
Our family, our early experience of relationships, does in fact become “prototypes” of
how we view people and life. In this sense, our family serves to provide us roots from which our
personhood is founded. But as we grow through the years, we begin to expand our experiences to
other relationships outside the family which may somehow alter our existing view of people and
life. It is in this very process that we redefine ourselves. It is only then can we tap our inner
capacity to be free to find newer dimensions of ourselves.
In this following activity, you will be invites to look back and relive your early years with
your family.
GUIDES FOR REFLECTION:
1. In what ways did your family contribute to the person that you are now?
2. In what ways can you maintain the positive contributions your family has given you and
change the negative effects your family has caused?
3. How can you grow outside the family and its influence?
ACTIVITY:
(Please distribute the activity sheets)
I. Draw the symbol of your own family at the back of the activity sheet. Listen to your
feelings. Be sure that you can show and explain what you mean by your drawing.
II. Please complete the series of unfinished sentences which will serve as starting point
for you to relive and review your family relationships and experiences. Please write
down spontaneously what comes to your mind as you read the sentences. Avoid
censoring your thoughts and feel free to add more than one response to each sentence.
1. When the idea of talking about my family relationship and experiences was introduced,
my initial reaction/feelings were…
HATRED AND DISAPPOINTMENT
2. The things/experiences/ I remembered about my father…
ARE THE TIMES THAT I NEEDED HIM BUT HIS NOT AROUND
3. The things/experiences/ I remembered about my mother…
ARE THE SACRIFICES SHE MADE FOR US
4. With regard to my birth order (eldest, second, third, etc.) I always felt…
THE ELDEST
5. Among our relatives/siblings the person I felt closest to was… Because
MY BROTHER… BECAUSE HE WAS MY FRENEMY SINCE WE WERE KIDS
6. Some resentments (anger, hatred, frustration, disappointments, etc.) I have with my
parents/brothers, sisters…
HATRED BECAUSE ARE A BROKEN FAMILY
7. An experience I had in my childhood which I cannot forget was…
I RAN AFTER MY BROTHER BRINGING A BOLO
8. Some positive experiences/things which I learned from my parents which I would like to
teach to my own children…
HUMILITY AND GENEROSITY
9. Some unpleasant things/experiences which my parents had done to me which I do not
like to see happen to my own children…
HAVING A BROKEN FAMILY
10. My feelings about my parents now…
ACCEPTANCE AND APPRECIATION
(After completing the activity, divide the participants into groups for the sharing)
REFLECTION POINTS
1. What significant memories were recalled? Where they pleasant or unpleasant?

2. Did you notice some persons whom you’ve love more and some whom you’ve love less?
What factors made it so?
3. Are there still some feelings of anger, hurt, resentments, frustrations, disappointment that
are left unresolved inside you? Which who were these feelings directed to? What could
have caused this? What made it hard to resolve these feelings?
4. Are there some areas you felt grateful and thankful for with regard to your family? Did
you have a chance to express this feeling of gratitude to the person or persons involved?
If not, what keeps you from expressing them?
SYNTHESIS
An activity which brings us back to our past, especially to our family, may bring out a
number of feelings and memories. Usually it is a mixture of both positive and negative feelings,
pleasant and unpleasant memories.
Positive feelings and pleasant memories are always enjoyable to resurface. It energizes us
and makes us feel a sense of gratitude for life. Happy memories can never be a problem, except
when they male us sentimental and sad as we reminisce them. But the good news is, these
memories are deep within us and they become the source of our strength during rough times.
Negative feelings and unpleasant memories are always more of a problem, especially
when they are left unresolved. When they resurface, it is always a natural reaction among people
to complain. They feel that negative things are better buried than remembered. Yet feelings and
memories that are unresolved stay alive. When they are buried, they are buried alive. It will keep
on affecting us even in an unconscious level. So, when we remember them and they still hurt us,
it is in reality telling us to pay attention to it. Unless they are resolved, they will continue to hurt
us through a lifetime.
DEEPENING
All of us have stories to tell, (both joyful and sorrowful) about our families. We did not
choose our families; they simply are gifts to us which needs our acceptance, love and care. Our
families are always part of our lives for each of us does not travel alone. We always carried a
baggage with us (our family traits, influences). Each of us is formed by our families and by
significant persons that come to our life.
During our sharing, we realized that each member of our families has his/her own
weaknesses/limitations and strength, just like each one of us. For example, your father is a
drunkard or a gambler or a womanizer, or your mother is lazy or “daldalera”. If such, we have
the inclination to be like them. But at the same time, we have the option to be different from
them depending on our decision and direction to follow in life. The question is: Are you going to
help them grow, care for them and accept them?
We therefore can make a difference in life. We therefore can make our own option and
decision of which direction in life we should follow. Although it is true that we are inclined to
become like our father and mother, but it is also true that we are totally unique and different
individuals.
Now that we know better our families, we also know better who we are. Through our
family symbol, we now know our inclinations, traits, and therefore can decide our own future as
well as help our family members to grow and change for the better, thus become what God wants
from us to BECOME.
PERSONAL INTEGRATION
Going through this activity is a challenge to anyone who still has unresolved feelings and
memories.
Usually, the healing process of these feelings and memories takes the form of:
1. ACKNOWLEDGING / IDENTIFYING THESE FEELINGS AND MEMORIES (TO

WHOM)
2. UNDESRTANDING THEM
3. ACCEPTING THEM
4. FORGIVING THEM
ANOTHER APPROACH TO HEALING PROCESS
Happy Experiences – growth facilitating experiences
Painful Experiences – growth facilitating; wounds/stagnant/paralyzed/no growth
HEALING:
1. IDENTIFY THE FEELING AND PERSONS

2. OWN THEM
3. DO SOMETHING FOR IT – to free yourself from such experience and heal the
wound.
A.) COOPERATION
B.) POWER AND GRACE OF GOD
MOVING OUT
 Stagnation  COMFORT  (SUFFER  Uneasy
 Paralysis ZONES )  Insecure
 Wounds  Uncertain
But if you cross successfully this comfort zone, your prize is FREEDOM…
Living life to the full – image and likeness of GOD.
Only when we have passed through these four steps or crossed the comfort zone
can we be healed and be decisive on what to do. Once healed, the experience serves as a
new found wisdom from which we can learn and grow.
It becomes also a challenge to us to consider expressing our gratitude and

appreciation for the positive feelings and memories given us. Many times we lose golden
opportunities to make a person happy simply because we fail to express our appreciation.
Once we have healed and celebrated our past, we become more free to start a new
life for the present and the future. According to the saying: “What has been done cannot
be undone.” “There’s no use of crying over spilled milk.” We don’t live with the PAST
anymore. Rather, we live for the NOW which id the foundation of our TOMORROW.

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MY FAMILY: ROOTS AND WINGS OF MY PERSONHOOD

For a person to grow in self-knowledge, one needs to understand the significant

RELIVING AND REVIEWING MY FAMILY SYMBOL

GUIDES FOR REFLECTION:

1. What significant memories were recalled? Where they pleasant or unpleasant?

1. ACKNOWLEDGING / IDENTIFYING THESE FEELINGS AND MEMORIES (TO

ANOTHER APPROACH TO HEALING PROCESS

Happy Experiences – growth facilitating experiences

Painful Experiences – growth facilitating; wounds/stagnant/paralyzed/no growth

1. IDENTIFY THE FEELING AND PERSONS

Living life to the full – image and likeness of GOD.

It becomes also a challenge to us to consider expressing our gratitude and

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