Parenthesis The Ability To Do Nothing Is An Important Life Skill

Parenthesis: The ability to do nothing is an important life
skill
indianexpress.com/article/parenting/blog/parenthesis-the-ability-to-do-nothing-is-an-important-life-skill-
5769310
June 7,
2019
Allow the child to be bored and get creative. (Source: Getty Images)
When my first child was born, I decided to be a stay at home mom and focus on raising him,
using all the tools and resources available to me, given my experience in early childhood
learning. I constantly created activities to keep him engaged. My home resembled a little
playschool. My son loved it and I loved that he was happy, productive and learning so much.
When my twins were born, my capacities were stretched a bit…okay, a lot. And I wasn’t able
to organise as many activities as I could when it was just one child. They had to find ways to
entertain themselves.
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And now when I look at the way they all think and play, something very obvious strikes me.
My older one struggled to play by himself. He constantly needed me or someone else to
engage his attention. He was never left alone long enough to figure out what he felt like
doing or where his interests lay or how to occupy his time. He needed constant stimulation.
On the other hand, my younger boys spent far more time in role play. Each of their stuffed
toys had a name and a backstory. They created games out of a stick, a piece of paper or
anything else they found lying around. Inadvertently, I had provided them the space and
opportunity to develop their creative thinking skills.
When we were young, we spent many hours daydreaming endlessly. We would lie in the
gardens and watch the clouds go by. We would make up games that would entertain us for
hours. When it rained, we would sit by the window and follow raindrops as they raced
against each other. The world was our playground. Literally.
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When our children are bored and come to us saying they have nothing to do, our instinctive
reaction is to engage their attention using technological devices or structured activities.
Rarely do we allow them to figure it out for themselves. But, boredom is important. The
ability to sit in one place and do nothing is an important life skill. In our highly stimulated
world, with screens at every corner, we don’t get the chance to just ‘be’. The chance to
connect with our thoughts and emotions.
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Even as adults, we spend our lives scurrying from one activity to another, one project to
another, one day to another, revelling in the idea of being ‘busy’. And we are unconsciously
training our children to do the same. By constantly keeping our children engaged, we take
away their opportunities to connect to themselves. By providing endless playdates, use of
screens or enrolling them in activities, we are not allowing them to listen to their inner
voice. Their inner voice that tells them to make a fort, or write a story or draw a picture. To
find what interests them. To explore their needs. To develop creative outlets. To discover
their voice and have their own opinions.
If our child is bored, we feel responsible. We feel that we need to create opportunities and
ways for them to expend their energies. Their weekly schedules are jam-packed with school
and after-school activities. And on weekends, family time is always scheduled. If you don’t
have a plan for the weekend, then you’re failing as a parent. But, research has shown us that
children need time to just be. They need time blocks of doing nothing. When your brain
slows down long enough to not be actively thinking, that’s when the creative juices flow.
Speak with any artist, writer, musician, inventor…they will tell you that some of their best
ideas and thoughts came when their mind was drifting.
The next time your child comes to you and says he’s bored, pause for a minute. Don’t
immediately feel the need to fix the situation by offering an electronic device. Sometimes,
all they need is your full attention for five minutes before they run off to do something else.
Give him a hug or cuddle for a few minutes, talking about different things. Think of it as a
way to refuel and recharge your child’s emotional tank. Having recharged and connected
with you, they might move on to an activity of their choice. If not, and they still insist they
are bored, giving them a slight nudge in a direction will help. Suggest ways in which they can
occupy themselves that combines their interests and abilities. You can sit with your child
and make a list of things that they might like to do when they are getting bored. Drawing,
reading, painting, craft, building blocks, role play, the options are endless. Allow them to
choose options but refrain from getting involved yourself. Give them the space to navigate
on their own. Be prepared for them whining or complaining about it. You are creating a
situation that they are not used to and completely unprepared for. But, if you are
consistent, eventually they will figure it out. So go ahead, allow your child to be bored.
Because when he is bored, is when creativity takes over.
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