Negotiation Chapter8

Emotion in Negotiation
Agenda
01 The role of emotion in negotiation
02 The language of emotion
03 Common emotions in negotiation
04 Managing expectations – keeping them happy
05 Biases
06 Star Tips for managing emotion while negotiation

The role of emotion
in negotiation
What is Emotion?
Emotion
Ø present every human activity
& negotiation.
Ø affect the way we think, feel,
and act.
Positive Emotion Negative Emotion
• Encourage co-operation • Stimulate competitive impulses
• Support win-win outcome • Lead to a win-lose dynamic

You’re crying at work.
ü “I’m in tear because I’m passionate.”
X “I’m sorry, I’m so emotional”

Win-Win Negotiator with Emotion
Manage
the negative emotions
Don’t provoke
negative emotions in others
Display
positive emotions
Say & Do
things likely bring out positive emotions
“
I cannot avoid
my emotions,
but I can
”
manage them.
Freud
The Father of 20th Century
Intellectualism
The language of emotion
1 Try to avoid ( I , You )
2 Try to use ( We, Us, Our )

• using “we” helps set the tone for a win-win.
3 An ‘I’ statement works better than ‘You’
For example: Using You For example: Using I
“Your asking price is too high.” “I feel that your asking price
is too high.”
This sounds judgmental. This is my opinion & how I feel. It’ll be

better if I can offer a reason to support
4 Avoid using words blame & Don’t criticize.
For example:
“Don’t rush me.”
Counterpart feel
• unfairly & pressuring
• you’re judging her/him.
5 Describe is rather than judge.
Don’t say Try to say
“Your offer is unreasonably low.” “I feel your offer of a three percent

increase is inadequate in light of
current industry trends.”
Because your client will think you are Because it too specific and descriptive.
saying he is unreasonable.
The Words used in negotiation
can affect
emotional of climate.
Avoid negative words.
Use positive words instead.

Common emotions
in negotiation
Common emotions
in negotiation
• Feelings & Emotions

impact on a negotiation.
• Both of them - anger & fear

Anger
• Ugly emotion
• Pops out in stressful situation
• Difficult to control
• Can cause failing in negotiation
Rule : Don’t express your anger.

Suggestions - if counterpart not a win-win
1. Allow his anger to run Ø Resume negotiating after his
anger has dissipated
2. Don’t assume that Ø Continue only when he
counterpart will be not longer calmed down
angry.
3. Accept his angry as valid Ø Encourage & listen his thoughts
4. Don’t fight fire with fire Ø Keep calm & cool
5. Don’t take it personally Ø Think that you aren’t the target

6. Don’t appease counterpart by Ø Make a concession only when
offering a concession. you want his concession too or
only his reason win.
Why not?
Because counterpart will know successful strategy to negotiate with you.

7. Apologize when warranted Ø Don’t let pride stand in what you
interest.
Ø Just focus on the big picture.

Fear
• imply for negotiators
• should understand
• how they affect you & counterpart
• how to deal with them.

Kinds of Fear
1 Fear of the unknown.

• Fear – what they don’t know or understand.
2 Fear of loss.
• Fear - losing money, paying too much
Kinds of Fear
3 Fear of failure.
• Fear - damage to pride, ego, reputation, embarrassment,
• Fear - loss of face.
4 Fear of rejection.
• Sometimes they don’t want to risk further rejection.
How to win a Fear
• Your idea is being rejected.
If your counterpart doesn’t understand your request.
• Modify your proposal & Consider other options.
• Try to turn ‘No’ into ‘Yes’

How to win a Fear
• Don’t appear too eager for a deal.
• Have a Plan B
• Be prepared to walk away
Making a bad deal is worse than making no deal at all.

Managing expectations
– keeping them happy
Managing expectations – keeping them happy
• Perception - big part of negotiation.
• Subjective outcome > Objective outcome
• Negotiate & act like unsatisfied better than Accept a first offer
Negotiation process must be ‘ Fair ’
• Strong sense of fairness
• Process seems unfair
• counterpart will reset
• relationship will suffer

Situation of ‘ Fair ’
Share w/ partner Offer 50:50 Offer 60:40 or 75:25
• Accept offer & share • Invariably • First person - a large share

money accept • Must be accept
• Second person will
• Reject it – no one gets
any money play the spoiler
reject the offer
Choose lose-lose outcome
Rather Than
Stand for unfair treatment

Win-Win Negotiator with Fairness
Understand
emotional & irrational of people who feel unfair.
Know
people demand respect.
Take
pains to be fair
Show
respect throughout the negotiation.
Make sure
negotiation process itself is fair & impartial.
Life is not fair,
but
people choose to be fair.

Biases
Biases
1 In the way we apportion credit & blame.
Good result = Our own ability Bad result = External reason
Ex. Ex.
“They got lucky”
“I achieved a good result
“They deceived me”
because I worked hard”
“The economy worked against me”
Biases
1 In the way we apportion credit & blame.
• Discount
the effects of situational factors.
• Assume
he has skill > he really does.

Biases
2 Things turn out better for ‘us’ than for ‘others’.
Ex. Ex.
“It could never happen to me. “They always get bad results,
It only happens to other people.” and everyone else has it better”
Biases that we create to decide ourselves and others.

Biases
3 We think more highly of ourselves than of others.
Ex.
“I am smarter and more skillful than him.”
Your counterpart probably thinks the same about you!

Win-Win Negotiator with Biases
Be Open Accept
objective to possibilities. her fault & her mistakes.
Everyone is equal.
Take Learn Do
responsibility for her from her mistakes better next time
shortcomings.
Recognizes
both have these biases
Tips for managing emotion
while negotiation
Tips for managing emotion while negotiation
1. Display positive emotions & Manage negative emotions
2. Think and speak in collaborative terms of ‘we’ and ‘us’
3. Speak in terms of feelings and opinions
4. Don’t find reason with an angry counterpart.
Wait until the emotion be clamed down.

5. Accept your counterpart’s anger as a valid emotion
But don’t take it personally
6. Combat fear by being prepared.
7. Treat a “no” as an opening position
Find other options to reach an agreement

8. Maintain objectivity & Get periodic reality checks
9. Ensure the negotiation process is fair for both parties.
10. Understand the effects of biases
& Compensate for them.

Agenda
01 The role of emotion in negotiation
02 The language of emotion
03 Common emotions in negotiation
04 Managing expectations – keeping them happy
05 Biases
06 Star Tips for managing emotion while negotiation

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Emotion in Negotiation

02 The language of emotion

03 Common emotions in negotiation

04 Managing expectations – keeping them happy

06 Star Tips for managing emotion while negotiation

Ø present every human activity

Ø affect the way we think, feel,

Positive Emotion Negative Emotion

• Encourage co-operation • Stimulate competitive impulses

• Support win-win outcome • Lead to a win-lose dynamic

You’re crying at work.

ü “I’m in tear because I’m passionate.”

X “I’m sorry, I’m so emotional”

1 Try to avoid ( I , You )

2 Try to use ( We, Us, Our )

3 An ‘I’ statement works better than ‘You’

For example: Using You For example: Using I

This sounds judgmental. This is my opinion & how I feel. It’ll be

4 Avoid using words blame & Don’t criticize.

“Don’t rush me.”

5 Describe is rather than judge.

Don’t say Try to say

“Your offer is unreasonably low.” “I feel your offer of a three percent

Avoid negative words.

Use positive words instead.

• Feelings & Emotions

• Both of them - anger & fear

• Pops out in stressful situation

• Can cause failing in negotiation

Rule : Don’t express your anger.

1. Allow his anger to run Ø Resume negotiating after his

anger has dissipated

2. Don’t assume that Ø Continue only when he

counterpart will be not longer calmed down

3. Accept his angry as valid Ø Encourage & listen his thoughts

4. Don’t fight fire with fire Ø Keep calm & cool

5. Don’t take it personally Ø Think that you aren’t the target

6. Don’t appease counterpart by Ø Make a concession only when

offering a concession. you want his concession too or

only his reason win.

Because counterpart will know successful strategy to negotiate with you.

7. Apologize when warranted Ø Don’t let pride stand in what you

Ø Just focus on the big picture.

• imply for negotiators

• how they affect you & counterpart

• how to deal with them.

1 Fear of the unknown.

• Your idea is being rejected.

If your counterpart doesn’t understand your request.

• Modify your proposal & Consider other options.

• Try to turn ‘No’ into ‘Yes’

• Don’t appear too eager for a deal.

• Be prepared to walk away

Making a bad deal is worse than making no deal at all.

• Perception - big part of negotiation.

• Subjective outcome > Objective outcome

• Strong sense of fairness

• Process seems unfair

• counterpart will reset