The diagram compares the change in the percentage of people who used

the internet in 3 North American nations from 1999 to 2009.

(It’s (it is) easy to see) -> (Overall, it is clear) that the

number (percentage/proportion) of people in the USA and Canada
accesses (who accessed / accessing) the internet was higher than in
Mexico. (It is also notable that) the percentage of the population in
Canada who used the internet was the most increasing (was the most
significant / increased the most) in a group of the country (out of the
three countries).

In 1999, people in the USA who used the internet were nearly
double compared with Canada and fourfold with Mexico. However, in
the next year, internet users in Canada rose considerably and got over
(surpassed) the USA in 2003. The figure (figures) in Mexico increased
but not significantly compared with Canada and the USA.
From 2005 to 2009, the number of people using the internet in the USA
and Canada continues (continued) to increase gradually, but there was a
smaller rise in Canada compared with the USA before peaked
(peaking) in 2009. The (percentage/proportion of) internet users in the
USA were nearly double compared with Mexico in 2009.

(168 words, đạt yêu cầu về độ dài tối thiểu 150 words).

Một vài comments trong bài:

1. Văn viết không viết tắt it’s mà phải viết ra thành it is nghe.
2. Đề bài là %, không phải số lượng nên không dùng number.
3. Surpass và get over đều là vượt qua nhưng:
- Surpass: greater than something. (về số liệu)
- Get over: to get better after an illness, or feel better after
something or someone has made you unhappy.

2 nghĩa trong tiếng Anh hoàn toàn khác nhau, tránh nhầm lẫn.

4. Không có cụm từ the most increasing.

5. Cấu trúc đúng: S + V1 + before + V2 – ing.
Ví dụ: The number of male membership in a cycling club
increased slight to 1500 in 2018 before falling sharply to 200 one
year later.
6. Số liệu trong bài ở thì quá khứ, the number continued to increase
chứ không phải continues.
7. Chủ điểm rút gọn mệnh đề quan hệ sẽ được nhắc ở trang cuối
cùng.
The diagram shows (the figures for) immigration, emigration and net
emigration in the UK from 1999 to 2008.

Overall, (it is clear that) (the figure for) immigration was always
higher than emigration. Both immigration and emigration rates were
increased (increased) over the years. (It is also notable that) Net
emigration peaked in 2004.

In 1999, the figure for immigration from (to) the UK was about 460
thousand people, while just only 300 thousand people moved out of the
UK. (The rate of) net emigration was about 160 thousand people. In the
next 4 years, both immigration and emigration (rates) rose gradually,
thus (while) the number of (figure for) net migration remained at a
similar level.

From 2002 to 2003, there were no changes in both immigration and

migration. Nevertheless, until 2004, the number of people get into
(moved into) the UK rose suddenly from 500 thousand to nearly 600
thousands (thousand) people, while the emigration (figure) was stable
until 2006. In the last 4 years, the immigration (rate) fluctuated, while
there was a dramatic decrease in (the rate of) emigration in 2007 before
peaked (peaking) in 2008.

(153 words, đạt yêu cầu tối thiểu về độ dài 150 words nhưng độ dài lý
tưởng là từ 160 words trở lên).
Một số comments trong bài:
1. Có thể dùng 2 cách mở bài như sau
- The diagram gives information about immigration ... (Biểu đồ
cho thông tin về nhập cư, di cư ...)
- The diagram shows the figures for immigration ... (Biểu đồ thể
hiện số liệu nhập cư, di cư ...)
Chứ không có The diagram shows immigration.
2. Tránh sai các động từ như increase, decrease, fall ....
Ví dụ: The figures were increased -> The figures increased (Chủ
động chứ không phải bị động).
3. Immigration to the UK – Emigration from the UK
(Nhập cư đến nước Anh) (Di cư khỏi nước Anh)
Tránh nhầm lẫn nghe. Không có immigration from the UK.
4. Cụm động từ get into sth: to become interested in an activity or
subject, or start being involved in an activity.
Không dùng trong trường hợp muốn nói di chuyển đến 1 thành phố
nào đó mà phải dùng move to / move into.
The graph compares the amounts (nếu có dùng amount cũng không
có s) (number) of acid rain emissions in 4 main industries in the UK
from 1990 to 2007.
 
(Overall, ) It is clear that the number of acid rain emissions in all four
sectors decreases (decreased) over a period of 16 years. Domestic
accounts (accounted) for the lowest emissions.
 
In 1991, electricity, gas and water supply accounted for the largest
proportions (proportion) of acid rain emissions in the UK, compared
with over 2 million tonnes in other industries. Transport and
communication and domestic produced around 0.6 million tonnes and
0.7 million tonnes respectively.
 
In the next years, there was a dramatic decrease in electricity, gas
and water supply when the acid rain emissions were 1 million tonnes
(there was a dramatic decrease in the number of acid rain emissions
from electricity, gas and water supply, with 1 million tonnes) in 1999
and just only 0.5 million tonnes in 2007, smaller than other industries,
around 1.2 million tonnes and transport and communication 0.6
million tonnes ((which was) smaller than transport and
communication and other industries sectors, around 0.6 and 1.2
million tonnes respectively). The acid rain emissions in domestic fell
slightly and still accounted for the smallest number in 4 sectors.

(157 words, đạt yêu cầu độ dài tối thiểu nhưng độ dài lý tưởng là 160
words trở lên).

Một vài comments trong bài:

1. Số liệu ở quá khứ nhưng chia động từ ở hiện tại -> sai.
2. Amount và proportion KHÔNG CÓ s.
3. Bài này bị mắc lỗi diễn đạt rất nhiều, gây khó hiểu cho người đọc
nên sẽ bị trừ điểm rất nhiều ở phần Coherence and Cohesion.
The graph compares the water use in three different sectors over the
world (around the world / all over the world) from 1900 to 2000 and
the table shows water consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000.

(THIẾU ĐOẠN OVERVIEW !!!)

Agriculture accounted for the largest proportions (proportion) of water

use in 1900, around 500 km3, compared with industrial and domestic
consumed water (which) were (both) lower (than) 100km3
respectively. In the next year (years), the amount of water use in
agriculture increased dramatically and peaked in 2000, double in
comparison with industrial water used (use) and fourfold with domestic
water consumption.

In 2000, the (amount of) water used for irrigated land in Brazil was
significantly higher than in the democratic republic of Congo. While the
population in Brazil (was) bigger (larger/greater) than Congo, the
water consumption per person in Brazil (was) still considerably
higher than in Congo at the same time.

(Thiếu đoạn overview nên không biết bao nhiêu từ)

Một vài comments trong bài:
1. Worldwide có thể viết lại là all over the world / all over the globe
hoặc around the world / around the globe, không có over the
world nhé.
2. Thiếu đoạn overview -> trừ điểm Task achievement.
The graph shows the proportion of car ownership in the UK
between 1971 and 2007.

(Overall, ) It is clear that there are (was) a large proportion of

people who owned a car in Britain. The number of two-car which
used regularly by household (It is also notable that the
percentage of households using two cars regularly) increases
(increased) rapidly over the years.

In 1971, nearly 50 % of families in the UK did not own a car,

while the figure for families owned (who owned/owning) one car
(was) also nearly 45%. Households with 2 cars and more than 3
cars were responsible (accounted) for around 7% and 1%
respectively. However, there was a dramatic decrease in the
percentage of households with no car, just only 25% in 2007.
(Đem xuống đoạn dưới từ 1971 -> 2007).

From 1971 to 2007, there was a dramatic decrease to just only

25% in the percentage of households with no car. While the
number of one car owned (one-car owners) remains (remained)
at a similar level, the number of two cars owned in (that of two-
car owners) rose considerably, around 25% in 2007. There was a
small rise (gradual increase to more than 5%) in the figure for
families who owned more than 3 cars.

149 words (chưa đạt độ dài 150 words nghe)

Một vài comments trong bài:

1. Cần nhóm thông tin và 2 đoạn detail rõ ràng, tránh lẫn lộn các
năm vào nhau.
Cách chia hợp lý:
- Đoạn detail 1: Mô tả và so sánh số liệu các đường trong năm
1970.
- Đoạn detail 2: Mô tả và so sánh xu hướng của số liệu đường từ
năm 1970 cho đến năm 2007.
2. Cụm từ were responsible for trong bài là sao? (Chịu trách nhiệm
cho?)
3. Bài này cũng mắc nhiều lỗi diễn đạt, cần xem lại.
4. Còn nhầm lẫn hiện tại và quá khứ.
(Đoạn Introduction đâu?)

(Overall, ) It is clear that the number of people who get (got) married
was significantly higher than the number of people who divorced. The
married status accounted for the largest proportion of the marital status of
American adults.
 
In 1970, there were 2.5 million marriages accounted (, which accounted
/ accounting) for 70% of the adults, and 1 million divorces in the USA.
In the next period of 10 years, while the number of marriages remains
(remained) at a similar level, there was a small (slight) increase in the
percentage of divorces. However, the number of people who got married
and divorced decreased by around 500 million in 2000.

The status of American adults who never got married in 1970 was just
under 15% and increased by 5% to 20% in 2000. There was a little
smaller in the number of widows in 2000 compared with the number
in 1970 (The number of widows was slightly lower in 2000 than in
1970) while (at the same time), the figure for people who divorced rose
from 1% in 1970 to nearly 10% in 2000 (rose from 1% to nearly
10% / rose by 10% in total).

(Thiếu đoạn intro nên không biết số lượng từ)

Một vài comments trong bài:
1. Còn nhầm lẫn hiện tại và quá khứ.
2. There was a little smaller in the number of widows là sai cấu trúc
nghe.
(Đoạn Introduction đâu?)

(Overall, ) It is clear that the applications in education and science in

developed were much higher than the applications in developed
(developing) countries. Moreover, (it is also notable that) the levels of
participation in education and science increase (increased) in both
developing and developed countries over the years.
 
In 1980, the average years of schooling in developed countries was just
higher than 8 years, while the years (those) in developing countries was
just higher for 2 years (slightly higher than 2 years). The number of
scientists and technicians per 1000 people in developed countries was
much higher than the number of scientists and technicians (those) in
developing countries, over 40 per 1000 people and about 10 per 1000
people respectively. The money spending (which was spent / spent) on
research and development in industrialized countries was over 150 billion
dollars in comparison with 50 billion dollars in developing countries.
 
In the next period of 10 years, the average years of schooling increased
slightly in both types of countries while the money spending (which was
spent / spent) on developed countries rose considerably to around 350
billions dollar (billion dollars), but there was a slight fall in developing
countries. The figure for scientists and technicians per 1000 people in
industrialized countries was nearly 70 people while a similar number
(that) in developed countries was just under 20 people.

(Thiếu đoạn introduction)

Một vài comments trong bài:
1. Tiền được chi tiêu vào việc gì đó bởi con người chứ tiền không thể tự
chi tiêu được. Phải dùng cấu trúc bị động cho money.
The bar chart compares the amount of money spending (spent) on 6
different items in Germany, Italy, France and Britain.

The is clear that (Overall, it is clear that) Britain accounted for the
largest money spending on all 6 goods in 4 countries (the amount of
money spent on all 6 categories in Britain was the largest among 4
countries) . Of the six items, consumer (consumers) spent the most money
on photographic film.

People in Britain spent over 170 sterling (170,000 pounds sterling) on

photographic film, which is (was) the highest figures (figure) on the chart.
In contrast, Germany people (German people / Germans) were the lowest
overall spenders, with roughly the same figures, just (with roughly the
same figures of) under 150 sterling (150,000 pounds sterling) for each of
the six products.

The number (amount) of spending on toys in Italy and France were (was)
the same, at nearly 160 sterling (160,000 pounds sterling). However, while
French people spent more than Italians on Photographic film and CDS,
Italians paid out more for personal stereos, tennis racquets and perfumes.
The amount of money French people spending (The amount of money
that French people spent on) on tennis racquet was around 140 sterling
(140,000 pounds sterling), the lowest figures (which was the lowest
figure) shown on the table.

(153 words, đạt yêu cầu độ dài tối thiểu 150 words nhưng độ dài lý tưởng từ
160 words trở lên).
Một vài comments trong bài:
1. Đề bài đơn vị là thousand pounds sterling, ghi 140 sterling không thôi là
sai đề rồi đó.
2. Bài này còn mắc nhiều lỗi diễn đạt, cần xem lại.
 The bar chart compares the average house prices in 5 major
cities over a period of 13 years from 1989.
 
(Overall, ) It is clear that most house prices decreased overall
from 1990 to 1995, but most of the cities saw rising prices
between 1996 and 2002. London experienced the biggest
changes in house prices over the 13-year period.
 
Over the 5 years after 1989,  London house prices were 5%
lower than the prices in 1989, while the cost of averages homes
in Tokyo and London fell by around 7%. By contrast, prices
rose by approximately 2% in both Madrid and Frankfurt.
 
Between 1996 and 2002, London house prices jumped to around
12% higher than the prices in 1989. The people in NY also had
to pay significantly more, with the prices rising to 5% compared
to the 1989 average, but homes in Tokyo remained cheaper than
they were in 1989. The cost of an average home in Madrid rose
by 2%, while the prices in Frankfurt remained at a similar
level.   

(Bài ni 95% giống trong Simon rồi chấm chi nữa =)))
 CÁCH RÚT GỌN MỆNH ĐỀ QUAN HỆ

1. Rút gọn bằng cách dùng Verb – ing.

Chúng ta có thể rút gọn theo cách Verb – ing trong trường hợp
động từ của mệnh đề quan hệ đang ở thể chủ động, nghĩa là chủ
ngữ thực hiện một hành động gì đó.

The number of consumers who spent money on cars was 50

people in 2000.
The number of consumers spending money on cars was 50
people in 2000.

Cách rút gọn: Bỏ đại từ quan hệ who, chuyển động từ chính thành
động từ dạng tiếp diễn (đuôi – ing)

2. Rút gọn bằng cách dùng Verb – ed / Verb – past participle

Chúng ta có thể rút gọn theo cách V-ed / V3 trong trường hợp động
từ của mệnh đề quan hệ đang ở thể bị động.

The amount of money which was spent on cars was 1000$ in

2000.
The amount of money spent on cars was 1000$ in 2000.

The number of people who were interviewed for feedback on the

products was 50 people in 2000.
The number of people interviewed for feedback on the products
was 50 people in 2000.

Cách rút gọn: Bỏ đại từ quan hệ who/ which, bỏ trợ động từ was /
were, giữ nguyên động từ ở thể quá khứ phân từ.