Laoag

City, Ilocos Norte

Module 3 Wholeness and Balance in Life

We have had several Wellness Breaks throughout this

semester for everyone to be able to rest, re-focus, and

Engage recharge. For you, what is the definition of “wellness”?

How did the Wellness Break help you? What did you do
during the Wellness Break? Do you think it was important
to have it? Why?

IEUTH 001: College Life and Personhood Page 1

 Laoag City, Ilocos Norte

Explain
What is Wholeness?

The World Health Organization defines health as, "A state of complete physical,
mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."  

In the world of psychology and mental health, we are really good at defining
what is wrong with us,  but what does it look like to be right, healthy, or whole?  Would
we know it if we saw it?  Are there degrees of wholeness?  Does wholeness look the
same for you as it does for me?  

Wholeness is a complex issue because it involves all of what makes us human -

  Mind,  body, soul,  emotions, and relationships.   None of these can be scientifically
studied in a vacuum, put under a microscope or dissected.  You may argue that we can
dissect the body and look at it on a molecular level, and you’d be right.  Does this give
us accurate or complete information about how the body interplays with the soul or
emotions?  I’m not so sure.

Wholeness is our capacity to experience health as

transcending all limitations while accepting them,
overcoming this virus of perfectionism which keeps us
locked into an imaginary world rather than the real
world...it is paradoxically in accepting (limitations) that
we can transcend them.
— Laurence Freeman

The Mindset of Wholeness

Because the subject of wholeness is so immense, I’d like to start by considering just 3
parts of what it means to be whole: 

IEUTH 001: College Life and Personhood Page 2

 Laoag City, Ilocos Norte

1. How we see ourselves - The whole person is able to see themselves truthfully and
accept his/her limitations as well as areas of personal excellence.   This requires
relational feedback and personal reflection.   The whole person doesn’t  only  see
themselves in a positive light.  They are able to see their flaws, idiosyncrasies  and
sin. Rather than self-condemnation in their shortcomings they are able to embrace
themselves with acceptance and grace.   The whole person also recognizes that
they have blind spots.  They are committed to self-compassion and curiosity in the
areas of the unknown.   For some people, accepting the negative is easy but it’s
more difficult to accept the good. The whole person is able to integrate both the
good and bad as part of reality.

2. What we do with how we see ourselves - The whole person moves toward
improving our limitations and shortcomings and utilizing areas of personal
excellence.  This is not a striving for perfection.  A whole person rests in who and
where they are in life, while seeking personal growth for the benefit of self and
others.  There is a resting in each moment because perfection is not the goal and
one never arrives at a place of perfection.  Each moment is good even though we
may experience pain and brokenness in the moment.  There is a greater story being
written, and the imperfections of life make it beautiful - but I’m getting ahead of
myself as I begin to delve into the spirituality of wholeness...more on that later. 

3. What we do when we go “backwards” - In case you missed it, life is not a steady
improvement in the right direction.   A whole person will have pain, struggle and
broken relationships.   Wholeness is not dependent upon our circumstances.   A
whole person is able to find comfort within the discomfort of life.

We all want to feel whole.  It cannot be attained when one or more aspects of
who we are are missing.   Often, the harder we try to become whole the more we
experience our brokenness. 

IEUTH 001: College Life and Personhood Page 3

 Laoag City, Ilocos Norte

Explore
There are six dimensions of wellness that make up who we are - social,
emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual, and occupational.

Social Wellness pertains to relationships, respect, and community interactions.

This dimension considers how we relate to other. How we connect, communicate, and
get along with the people we are surrounded by.

Spiritual Wellness pertains to meaning and values. This dimension helps to

establish peace and harmony in our lives. It is the ability to discover meaning and
purpose in life.

Emotional Wellness pertains to feelings, emotions, reactions, and cognition. This

is the dimension where you are in touch with your feelings and emotions of sorrow, joy,
love, etc. This dimension helps us to cope with the emotional challenges of life.

Occupational Wellness pertains to skills, finances, balance, and satisfaction.

This dimension involves finding fulfillment in your job (as a student right now) and
knowing that it has meaning. It is the ability to establish balance between work (study)
and leisure time.

Intellectual Wellness pertain to critical thinking, creativity, and curiosity. This

dimension considers the desire to be a lifelong learner. It is the ability to be open to
new experiences and ideas in order to continue growing.

Physical Wellness pertains to body, nutrition, and healthy habits. This dimension
considers overall health and what you need to do to maintain a healthy quality of life. It
is the ability to take charge of your health by making conscious decisions to be healthy.

What about Mental Wellness, you ask? Mental health includes our emotional,
psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. Therefore, it
falls under multiple dimensions of wellness such as social, emotional, and intellectual
wellness.  

IEUTH 001: College Life and Personhood Page 4

 Laoag City, Ilocos Norte

Elaborate
The Mindset of Wholeness: 3 Essentials for Wellness of Soul

A well ordered soul does not derive its peace from the
hearts of other men. True peace is found only in Him.
Desire not to please them or fear to displease them.
— Unknown

Joshua Grover is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and he found that  there
are three critical elements that regularly emerge when visiting his clients or doing self-
reflection.  He believes that these elements, when applied appropriately can help to set
things in order in the soul.  When ignored, the results are destructive over time.  There
is a necessary progression to the elements:  Surrender - Receive - Worship.  Let’s take
a look.

SURRENDER

We hold on too tightly.  The more we try to control, the more control becomes an
obligation.  We try to control how people perceive us.  We must manage our emotions.
 (Only show the good ones). If we could only fix the kids, our coworkers, our spouse or
the emerging lines on our brow, we’d finally find that slice of peace in life that would
make things okay.  The tight grip we keep on the fantasy of control prevents us from
embracing the blessings of reality.    

We must learn to surrender.  There is more than one way to do it, but the action
step for me, is to identify the areas of life that I am attempting to control that are
beyond me.   Then I actually surrender each one by name to God and/or a trusted
friend.  This step is nothing new, yet powerful when we do it.  

RECEIVE 

Many people never get to receive because they’ve never surrendered.  We must
make space to receive, but for many there’s no room.  If we’ve not gone through the
process of surrendering our futile attempts to control life then receiving the gift of real

IEUTH 001: College Life and Personhood Page 5

 Laoag City, Ilocos Norte

peace is only a quaint idea for those who have time for such nonsense.  Once we’ve
cleared the necessary emotional space through surrender we are left the emotional
margin to receive.  

In this space we can let people in.  We can invite love, joy and peace.  We can
receive help from others.  We can think differently.  We can treat people differently, not
as problems, or solutions or obstacles,  but as humans.   Receiving helps us become
more human.  We are human beings, not “human doings.”  

Surrendering our illusion of control also allows us to relate with God.   When we
give up the need to be god in our life, we create room for God in our life.  When we
surrender the need for control to the one who  has  control we can soak in the good
things He has for us.   

WORSHIP

Worship emerges when we receive everything in the place where we had

nothing.  When we recognize our soul is a barren desert, we have the space to receive
not only life, but meaning, contentment, joy and peace. When this happens,  there is
only one response: Worship. It is natural reaction to give glory to the one who brings us
life.

We were created to worship, and worship we will.   Pure worship never comes
from obligation, because we worship what we believe will give us life.   We worship
what our hearts crave.  We worship what we set our minds upon.  We have many idols
-  money, self, others, comfort, pleasure etc.   We must be careful what we worship,
because if we worship the wrong thing (or person) we will break ourselves against it
because, it will ultimately let us down - severely.  We worship what we behold and we
become like what we worship.  This is why looking for God and giving him our worship
is better for us than anything else.

Surrender (to God) - Receive (from God) - Worship (God) ... Repeat.  

IEUTH 001: College Life and Personhood Page 6

 Laoag City, Ilocos Norte

Evaluate
The Wellness Wheel

The Wellness Wheel is a helpful tool for understanding how to create more
balance in different areas of your life.

Whenever you feel the need to hit the reset button in your life, this exercise will
help you figure out how you can do that.

By going through the wellness wheel exercise, you’ll be able to identify any
areas of your life that needs a little TLC (tender loving care).

The areas we will be focusing on are physical, mental, social, financial,

occupational, environmental, recreational, and spiritual wellness. Once you’ve filled out
your wheel, choose 1-2 areas that you would like to work on over the next 3-6 months.

INSTRUCTIONS
The eight sections in the wheel represent your life. Rank your level of
satisfaction with each area out of 10. 1 means you are struggling and feel
unfulfilled in that area. 10 means you’re satisfied with that area and don’t
think it needs much improvement. Go with your gut on this one.

Color the number of spaces on the wheel that match your ranking, starting from
the inside and working out. Once you’re done, you should see which areas need
improvement and which ones you feel satisfied with.

After creating your own wellness wheel, answer the following questions:

• What score did you give each area?

• Which areas do you want to focus on improving right now? Why?

• When you envision fulfillment in each area, what do you think of?

• What types of practices or activities would help you feel more fulfilled?

• What actions can you take in the next 3-6 months to improve each area?

IEUTH 001: College Life and Personhood Page 7

 Laoag City, Ilocos Norte

PHYSICAL HEALTH MENTAL HEALTH

(Eating well, exercising, (Healthy mindset and
quality sleep) emotions)

HOME
(Safe and RELATIONSHIPS
comfortable (Feeling connected
living space) to others)

SPIRITUALITY
(Personal growth,
RECREATION
seeking understanding)
(Hobbies, fun, downtime)

FINANCES
CAREER (Budgeting, saving money)
(Satisfaction with work or
chosen course)

IEUTH 001: College Life and Personhood Page 8

 Laoag City, Ilocos Norte

Example:

You can make your own wellness wheel by drawing it on paper, printing the one
on the previous page, or coloring it digitally.

IEUTH 001: College Life and Personhood Page 9

 Laoag City, Ilocos Norte

References:

G r o v e r, J . , M A , L M H C ( 2 0 1 6 ) . W h a t I s W h o l e n e s s ? F r o m h t t p : / /
www.joshgrovercounseling.com/blog

Kennymore, J., MPH, CHES Balancing Your Wellness. From https://

www.nwmissouri.edu/wellness/PDF/shift/BalancingYourWellness.pdf

Grover, J., MA, LMHC (2016). The Mindset of Wholeness: 3 Essentials for Wellness of
Soul From http://www.joshgrovercounseling.com/blog

IEUTH 001: College Life and Personhood Page 10