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Submission, pain and pleasure: Considering an evolutionary hypothesis

concerning sexual masochism.

Article  in  Psychology of Consciousness: Theory, Research, and Practice · August 2019

DOI: 10.1037/cns0000202

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SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 1

Submission, Pain and Pleasure: Considering an Evolutionary Hypothesis

Concerning Sexual Masochism

Orli Dahan

Abstract

The enigmatic appeal of submission in sexual masochism is a phenomenon

that calls for an explanation: What makes receiving pain during sex so appealing?
This appeal can be explained conceptually, phenomenologically, and biochemically
as the motivation to reach the highly pleasurable psycho-physical altered state called
'subspace'. Although the term subspace is used in the context of sex, parallels can be
drawn between subspace and another phenomenon: a psycho-physical altered state
that can occur during natural and undisturbed birth. I hypothesize that the ability (or
even the desire) to reach pain-related altered states in sexual masochism has roots in
a crucial evolutionary advantage that comes into play during childbirth, consistent
with recent findings that sexual masochists are generally psychologically healthy.
Moreover, I contend that from an evolutionary perspective, sexual masochism may
even confer adaptive advantages, consistent with evolutionary explanations for the
tendency toward submission in conjunction with pain in the context of female
reproductive responses such as mating and childbirth.

Keywords:

BDSM, subspace, natural birth, evolutionary psychology, altered states of

consciousness, phenomenology, pain, pleasure, submission, sexual masochism

© 2019, American Psychological Association. This paper is not the copy of record and
may not exactly replicate the final, authoritative version of the article. Please do not
copy or cite without authors' permission. The final article will be available, upon
publication, via its DOI: 10.1037/cns0000202

https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fcns0000202
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 2

Introduction: The Enigmatic Desire for Submission and Pain in Sex

Sexual behaviors outside the cultural norm have been pathologized

throughout history. One such category of sexual variation is BDSM, which refers to
a wide range of sexual behavior preferences relating to exchanging power, the
enjoyment of physical control, psychological control, and pain. BDSM has six
overarching components: bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and
sadism and masochism; hence, the widely used abbreviation BDSM (Hébert &
Weaver, 2014; Prior & Williams, 2015; Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013).

Some individuals are only be involved in one aspect of BDSM, whereas

others engage in practices that represent two or even all components. Although these
components may be interrelated, they are distinguishable and do not necessarily
overlap (Williams, 2006). Nevertheless, in this article, for the sake of clarity, I will
follow Hébert and Weaver (2014) who divided practitioners of BDSM into two
broad groups: persons who prefer to be in control and those who prefer to relinquish
control. These groups roughly correspond to the terms dominant and submissive.1
Furthermore, because BDSM represents a wide range of sexual behaviors (see
Carlström, 2018; Williams, 2006), I refer not only to edge play participants,2 but also
to the spectrum of sexual preferences that connects submission, pain, and pleasure.

Within the psychiatric literature, sadism and masochism have frequently

been characterized as disorders, or underlying pathologies. For example, DSM-IV-
TR (APA, 2000) identifies sexual masochism and sexual sadism as paraphilias.3
However, in recent years, an ever-growing body of literature has addressed BDSM
without pathologizing it, therefore challenging the longstanding view that BDSM is
integrally linked with psychopathology (Turley, King, & Butt, 2011). Examples of
prominent studies, based on empirical findings, with the explicit goal to de-
pathologize BDSM include Wright (2010), Powls and Davies (2012), Wismeijer and
van Assen (2013), and Rogak and Connor (2018). In this article, I contribute to this

1
BDSM practitioners may also identify as switches, individuals who enjoy taking on both roles.
2
Edge play refers to an extreme form of BDSM – for example, breath-play, knife-play,
blood/cutting play – that can include minor/major permanent injuries, or death if not practiced
correctly.
3
DSM-5 distinguishes between consensual and nonconsensual behavior when categorizing human
sexual behavior from pathological to normal (APA, 2013).
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 3

trend by advancing a novel hypothesis regarding both a specific psycho-physical

altered state that is linked to the submissive person’s experiences during a BDSM
session and the possible evolutionary origin of this hypothesized state.

Williams (2006) notes that not only is there a lack of evidence supporting
BDSM as being objectively and necessarily pathological, but the available evidence
actually suggests that BDSM participants generally are healthy, educated, well-
adjusted, and successful (see also Rogak & Connor, 2018; Wismeijer's & van
Assen's, 2013). Ambler et al. (2017) refer to recent studies reporting that BDSM
practitioners exhibited lower levels of depression than non-BDSM practitioners and
conclude that the motivation for BDSM may be rooted in normal psychological
functioning.

However, researchers have observed differences between BDSM roles.

According to Wismeijer and van Assen (2013), BDSM scores for psychological
characteristics were generally more favorable for those with a dominant than a
submissive role. For example, only the dominants scored higher than the comparison
group on subjective well-being. Furthermore, Hébert and Weaver (2014) reported
that dominants scored significantly higher than submissives on a measure of life
satisfaction.

These latter findings would appear to suggest an enigma: Why do people

desire pain in sex? (Baumeister, 1997). The differences in motivation between the
submissive and the dominant appear obvious: Whereas it is reasonable to think that
dominance simply embodies in play what everyone in Western culture desires, why
would anyone submit to pain, bondage, humiliation, subjugation, or mutilation?
(Zussman & Pierce, 1998). Prima facie, masochism is antithetical to what most
would consider normal operations of the self (Pitagora, 2017), and its benefits are
not apparent. While perhaps simply a consensual game between adults,4 the role of a
submissive in BDSM is objectively dangerous: Being harmed physically by another
who wields any object (or bare-handed) is normally unwise. Rationality, thus, seems
to weigh against engaging in this kind of game.

4
There are rules associated with this game (or a way of living). For example, pre-session precautions
include a discussion of agreed upon personal limitations and a safe word or gesture signaling a
participant’s wish to terminate the activity. This is called "pre-play negotiation" (Hébert & Weaver,
2014).
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 4

Cogent answers to this enigma may include the idea that engaging in BDSM
play as a submissive is a safe way to creatively escape the high stress and demands
of everyday life in today's fast-paced society: Letting go of control and experiencing
pain or extreme sensation for the benefit of a natural endorphin rush (Williams,
2006). BDSM play also enables people to explore different dimensions of
themselves and, in doing so, enact more authentic selves (Hébert & Weaver, 2014).
Turley, King, and Butt (2011) argue, based on their phenomenological research,
that BDSM practitioners can experience other, non-sexual positive outcomes of their
play, which include self-exploration and a sense of well-being, strengthened
relationships, and the opportunity to experience their bodies in different and exciting
ways. Hébert and Weaver (2014) reported that the general benefits of BDSM
mentioned by both dominants and submissives were receiving pleasure from
pleasing others, physical pleasure and arousal, fun, variety, and going beyond
'vanilla’ (i.e., conventional, non- BDSM sex), personal growth, improved romantic
relationships, community, psychological release, freedom from day-to-day roles, and
“being yourself.” Indeed, many submissives reported a therapeutic effect of BDSM
play, for example, the reduction of physical and psychological stress (Pitagora,
2017), whereas many dominants repeatedly characterized themselves as “therapists,”
speaking about their “work” as dominants as a form of psychological treatment for
their “clients” (Lindemann, 2011).

Here, I am searching for an evolutionary explanation for the phenomenon of

sexual masochism, for there is now broad consensus that it is not a perversion or a
pathology, as once thought. I hypothesize that the desire for this kind of sex is
somehow more primeval in that it has roots in our evolutionary history. Jozifkova
(2013, 2018), for example, argues that consensual SM is a strengthened adaptive
behavior based on natural patterns of reproduction. According to evolutionary
biology, sexual arousal generated by overemphasized hierarchical status (e.g.,
dominance and submissiveness) during sadomasochistic interaction is probably a
strengthened manifestation of a proximate mechanism for accomplishing a common
reproductive strategy. However, in my opinion, the observation does not explain the
preference of many submissives for strong stimuli (or pain).

Hence, I focus on the phenomenological and evolutionary-functional level of

analysis of the submissive person and advance a hypothesis to explain why
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 5

submissives desire to experience submission and pain during sex, and why it gives
them pleasure. My conclusions are primarily theoretical, a synthesis of many
disciplines reviewed here and are characterized by an analytical approach to
understanding the nature and characteristics of this unique phenomenon.

I propose the existence of a non-pathological endogenous submission-pain-

pleasure regulatory system that has heretofore been largely ignored in the literature.
This regulatory system may explain the advantages of the desire for submission and
pain and why their realization, in the context of sex (and in some other contexts as
well), is pleasurable. I hypothesize that it is the tendency to reach this psycho-
physical altered state that can be advantageous in overcoming pain during childbirth.
I speculate that this biological tendency can be translated into the mental and
behavioral tendency to fantasize about, or actually play, a submissive role in BDSM.

In the next section, I discuss the term 'subspace,' which is a unique and
pleasant altered state of consciousness that is sometimes experienced by the
submissive during a BDSM scene and seems to be one of the motivations for a
submissive to engage in BDSM activity. I then discuss the alterations in
consciousness of women during natural and undisturbed childbirth and present the
parallels between these two psycho-physical phenomena. Next, I present my
hypothesis: The similarity between the BDSM and child birthing experiences is not
a mere coincidence; rather, many women are hard-wired to experience this
submission-pain-pleasure tendency, because the ability to reach this psycho-physical
state contributed to a safer and healthier birth for our foremothers and their progeny.

I note that altered states of consciousness (ASCs) are difficult to define, due,
in part, to the widespread disagreement over how to define ‘normal’ consciousness
(see Dietrich & Al-Shawaf, 2018), as the objects and experience of consciousness
are constantly shifting throughout the day and night. Accordingly, no definition of
consciousness will necessarily prove satisfactory for all readers. Nevertheless, for
this article, following S. Lynn (personal communication, May 3, 2019), I define
ASCs as temporary, significant, and perceptible alterations in ordinary or baseline
waking consciousness that typically encompass one or more of the following
elements: deviations in (a) awareness, perception, and sensations; (b) cognition and
contents of consciousness; and (c) emotions and behavioral tendencies in relation to
the self, others, and the environment. This definition, albeit expansive, nevertheless
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 6

permits description of the boundaries of the subspace and birthing consciousness

experiences so as to distinguish them from many, if not all, more mundane
experiences.

The Subspace Defined – the Desired Psycho-physical Alterations of

consciousness of a Submissive (or: What is it Like to be in Subspace?)

Researchers studying BDSM have theorized that individuals pursue BDSM

activities as submissives, in part, due to the unique and subjectively pleasant
alterations of consciousness these activities often produce called the 'subspace'
(Ambler et al., 2017). According to phenomenological descriptions, the subspace is
highly pleasurable and may be a goal of some submissives, at least some of the time,
as it tends to be a highly sought-after experience (see Pitagora, 2017). Thus,
exploring subspace can illuminate submissives’ motivations for engaging in BDSM
activities and bring us closer to understanding the phenomenon (Ambler et al., 2017;
Pitagora, 2017).

Subspace is described as a feeling similar to flying or floating, deep

relaxation, and even an "out-of-body experience" (Ambler et al., 2017; Pitagora,
2017) that might include temporary positive feelings of depersonalization and
derealization and decreased physical and emotional stress (Pitagora, 2017). For
some submissives, some of the time, the pathway to subspace is via pain, as the
experience of intense sensation produces a reportedly transcendent, trance-like state
that is often described in the following terms: catharsis; heightened awareness and
sensitivity; euphoria and a sense of safety and trust; relief from the burden of
decision-making; achieving a sense of balance, calm, peace; a mixture of pain,
pleasure, and emotional release (Pitagora, 2017; Zussman & Pierce, 1998).
Moreover, some submissives report the realization that no distinction exists between
pleasure and pain, experiencing the subspace as a sort of recalibration of the senses
(Zussman & Pierce, 1998).

According to phenomenological and ethnographic studies (Baker, 2016;

Carlström, 2018; Pitagora, 2017), for some submissives, reaching subspace (or
something close) apparently involves shifting into a non-verbal state5 (Ambler et al.,

5
Non-verbal in the sense that it is not easy (or even very hard) to talk during the experience (see
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 7

2017; Baker, 2016) that has been described as awareness of the partner but of
nothing else (Ambler et al., 2017), difficulty remembering the exact sequence of
events, difficulty assessing the passage of time, disorientation, shifted awareness,
and a high level of passivity (Baker, 2016). After the session, feelings of joining,
love, affection, fellowship, and vulnerability are often described (Carlström, 2018),
as well as heightened partner intimacy (Pitagora, 2017).

Defining a Psycho-physical state (that does not have a name) that Can Occur
During Natural Undisturbed Childbirth

Labor pain shares many features with other forms of acute traumatic pain
(Lowe, Walker, & MacCallum, 1991). However, features unique to labor pain also
arise from pregnancy-induced changes at different stages of nociception (Lothian,
2004; Odent, 2008). Moreover, some of these changes appear to act synergistically
to promote anti-nociception that peaks at the time of birth (Rowlands & Permezel,
1998). Relatedly, Odent (2001) argued that during most of the history of the human
species, until the recent development of Western medicine, women could not give
birth without releasing a complex cocktail of hormones (mainly oxytocin,
endorphins, and prolactin). Lothian (2004) refers to the releasing of these hormones
as the 'hormone orchestration' of normal labor. However, if the birth is disturbed, for
example, by the use of epidural analgesia, this process does not occur.

Interestingly, interruption of hormone orchestration of normal labor is not

only influenced by natural physical causes but also by mental and environmental
factors. Newton, Peeler, and Newton (1968), in a study of the effect on rats of
disturbance of labor, found that birthing functions best in a sheltered and
undisturbed environment. Similarly, lack of attention in the typical hospital
environment to a woman’s inherent need to not be disturbed while giving birth is
correlated to a high rate of cesarean sections, a routine use of epidurals in labor, and
a high incidence of instrument deliveries (Buckley, 2015; Stenglin & Foureur,
2013).

What is the experience of a woman during undisturbed natural birth? There

is little controversy that natural birth is painful. However, pain is only one aspect of

Ambler et al., 2017).

SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 8

a woman’s labor and birth experience (Lowe, 2002), and although the majority of
women consistently rate labor pain as severe, the pain is not always reported as a
negative event (Caton et al., 2002; Rowlands & Permezel, 1998). Laboring women
across several descriptive studies (see Lowe, 2002) most commonly chose the
sensory words of cramping, sharp, aching, stabbing, heavy, pulling, throbbing, hot,
and shooting to describe their pain; while tiring, exhausting, intense, and
troublesome were the affective and evaluative words most often chosen. Even
women who rated their pain at 4 or 5 on the Present Pain Intensity Scale (PPI) of the
McGill Pain Questionnaire (MPQ) – where pain is rated as 1, mild; 2,
discomforting; 3, distressing; 4, horrible; or 5, excruciating – were unwilling to use
the accompanying, highly negative descriptors of “horrible” or “excruciating”
because the positive experience of giving birth invalidated such negative
connotations (Lowe, 2002).

The experience of labor pain is a highly individual composite of diverse

stimuli uniquely received and interpreted through an individual woman’s emotional,
motivational, and cognitive state, and social and cultural circumstances (Caton et al.,
2002). However, researchers have found that a woman’s psychological state during
labor can modify her pain experience (Crowther, Smythe, & Spence, 2014; Stenglin
& Foureur, 2013). According to Rowlands and Permezel (1998), when women focus
their attention on their delivery, rather than on their pain, they experience similar
sensory pain but less affective pain.

Lowe (2002) identified few themes in the experience of pain during

childbirth from in-depth postpartum interviews of Swedish women who delivered in
an alternative birth center, where no pain relief such as an epidural is available.
First, pain is hard to describe, and its experience is contradictory: "It was hell, and a
little more, but felt good anyway" (Lowe, p. 22). Second, pain-coping strategies
include trust in one’s own ability to deal with the pain. Third, the relatively positive
experience of pain is related to the trust in, affirmation, security, support, and
encouragement from the individuals accompanying the birthing woman, particularly
her partner and the midwife (Lowe, 2002; Simkin, 1991; Waldenström, 1999).

The experience of natural and undisturbed birth is marked by

phenomenological characteristics such as time distortions (VandeVusse, Irland,
Berner, Fuller, & Adams, 2007), disinhibition from social constraints (Newton,
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 9

1992; Odent, 2003), and changes in focused attention (McCutcheon & Brown, 2012;
Stenglin & Foureur, 2013). Additionally, women experiencing natural and
undisturbed birth have reported increased feelings of floating, calm, and
peacefulness (Ketterhagen, VandeVusse, & Berner, 2002; McCutcheon & Brown,
2012; Stenglin & Foureur, 2013). The expression 'in the zone' appears in several
phenomenological studies of women’s natural birth experiences, meaning inward
focusing, being fully focused on doing the job, shutting out the rest of the world,
letting go of fear, and a state absent anxiety (Dixon, 2011).

Simkin (1991), for example, analyzed the long-term impact of the birth
experience on 20 women from the natural childbirth culture of the late 1960s and
early 1970s. Interviewed 15 to 20 years later, the women reported that their
memories from their birthing experiences were still vivid and deeply felt. However,
the literature regarding the state of mind of women during natural and undisturbed
childbirth is unsatisfying, to say the least. As these particular psycho-physical
alterations in experience do not have a proper name in the literature, I will refer to
them from this point forward as "birthing consciousness."

A woman’s experience of the unique and extreme pain of natural birth is a

barrier to her feeling, thinking, and behaving in a manner consistent with her typical
daily circumstances and state of mind. Bearing in mind that women experience
childbirth differently depending on their expectations, circumstances, and unique
physiology, I suggest that some women enter into a temporary psycho-physical state
of consciousness during a natural and undisturbed birth at significant variance from
ordinary daily experience. I do not, however, intend to suggest that every woman
who experiences natural and undisturbed birth necessarily experiences 'birthing
consciousness.'

The Path to Psycho-physical Altered States: Exploring the Parallels

Between Subspace and Birthing Consciousness

In this section, I discuss several similarities between reaching subspace and

reaching birthing consciousness, from three different perspectives: conceptual,
phenomenological, and biochemical. These parallels lay the foundation for my
hypothesis, that there is an evolutionary connection between these two psycho-
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 10

physical altered states.

The Conceptual Parallels: Pain is not Equivalent to Suffering, and Submission

Stems from Inner Strength not from Weakness
Morris (1991) argued that human pain is never merely an affair of the body –
we experience pain only as we interpret it. Relatedly, according to Fink (2011), it is
a simple matter to nominally define ‘pain’ as sensory and ‘suffering’ as emotional
(p.29). However, although pain and suffering are distinct mental phenomena
(Chapman & Gavrin, 1999), in many cases, we experience them as one (Fink, 2011;
Lowe, 2002). This point, I believe, is the first and most obvious parallel between the
psycho-physical states of subspace and birthing consciousness: Pain is not
equivalent to suffering. For example, the subspace can be seen as a state of
equilibrium between pain and pleasure in which individuals come to realize there no
longer is a distinction between the two (Zussman & Pierce, 1998). Similarly, in the
case of childbirth pain, there often exists a qualitative difference between pain in the
context of helplessness and suffering and pain in the context of coping resources,
comfort, and sense of accomplishment (Caton et al., 2002).

Pain is an extremely complex phenomenon with both sensory and emotional

components and an ability to command attention and dominate other cognitive
processes (Lowe, 2002). Studies indicate that (a) cognitive factors play an essential
mediational role between pain and consequent levels of suffering in older, chronic
pain patients (Gibson & Helme, 2000); (b) the lack of self-efficacy belief in one's
own ability to manage pain and function despite persistent pain is a significant
predictor of the extent to which individuals with chronic pain become disabled
and/or depressed (Arnstein, Caudill, Mandle, Norris, & Beasley, 1999); and (c) that
clinical methods of mindfulness are associated with better functioning (e.g.,
decreased depression, pain-related anxiety, and other physical, psychosocial
disability) in individuals with chronic pain (McCracken, Gauntlett-Gilbert, &
Vowles, 2007). Thus, pain is not merely the transmission of stimuli from
nociceptors, and individuals often experience helplessness and suffering when they
lack adequate resources to cope with pain (Lowe, 2002).

Moreover, individuals may experience exhilaration rather than suffering

when confident that they can cope masterfully with life-threatening challenges
(Lowe, 2002), as in cases of thrill seekers and adventurers in response to situations
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 11

fraught with objective threat, pain, and danger (Brymer & Schweitzer, 2017).
Similarly, when a woman in birth understands the origin of her pain (cervical
dilatation and descent of the fetus); views the forthcoming birth as highly positive
and pain as a sign of progress toward a desired goal; and perceives labor and its pain
as a non-threatening life experience to be mastered, she may experience great pain
but not suffer (Crowther, Smythe, & Spence, 2014; Leap, Sandall, Buckland, &
Huber, 2010). For these women, intense pain, a tremendous sense of
accomplishment, feelings of empowerment, and real enjoyment may be
contemporaneous and independent themes of the labor experience. Childbirth thus
becomes a life experience to be mastered with the potential to enhance self-esteem
(Lowe, 2002; McCutcheon & Brown, 2012).

Accordingly, in subspace and birthing consciousness, pain is not equivalent

to suffering. In fact, sometimes pain can be the path to experience pleasure both
during birth (see Buckley, 2010; Crowther, Smythe, & Spence, 2014) and during a
BDSM session (see Pitagora, 2017; Zussman & Pierce, 1998). Additionally,
molecular-imaging and animal studies document the important role of the opioid and
dopamine systems in modulating both pain and pleasure, suggesting a common
neurobiology structure for both (Leknes & Tracey, 2008).6

Thus, submission to pain in both cases feels positive and emanates from
inner strength – a willed, active act to achieve a certain purpose – not weakness. In
this sense, submission is an act of power, borne out of knowledge and self-
awareness. This point is crucial: If the submission of the masochist during a BDSM
session is due to his or her weakness, then it is possible that this is not a BDSM
session but sexual abuse. The acronym SSC in the BDSM community refers to: safe,
sane, consensual. According to Hébert and Weaver (2014), a dominant player who
does not obey the rules will be considered by the BDSM community as not a real
dominant, and the relevant BDSM scene will be considered abuse and not BDSM.

If a woman at birth believes she is weak and unable to cope with the pain and
difficulty of labor, she is probably frightened and stressed, which can harm the

6
It should be emphasized that the term 'pleasure' does not refer to orgasm , in both subspace and
childbirth. The subspace is nowhere described as an orgasm, nor is the psycho-physical state at
birthing. Of course, orgasm can occur in both cases (see, for example, Buckley, 2010, about
orgasmic birth), but it is not necessary in order to reach subspace / birthing consciousness, and it is
not the stated goal in either case.
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 12

process of natural birth (Boucher, Bennett, McFarlin, & Freeze, 2009). For example,
according to Janssen, Henderson, and Vedam (2009), women who planned a home
birth with a registered midwife in British Columbia described internal control as
striving to accept pain and be in charge of their physical and mental health. Pain was
viewed as a steppingstone toward a natural birth, to be mastered instead of relieved,
and with mastery came a sense of achievement. Pain was described in terms of its
function. The feeling of empowerment, produced by submission to pain, also occurs
in subspace in BDSM, described as being surrendered and empowered at the same
time, and feeling capable of anything (Baker, 2016).

Hébert and Weaver (2014) found evidence disputing the stereotype that
dominance in BDSM reflects an abnormal desire for control, whereas submissive
preferences indicate an abnormal desire to relinquish control. Although dominants
reported higher desire for control than did submissives, both were still within the
normal range for this variable, as indexed by the Desire for Control subscale of the
Shapiro Control Inventory (Shapiro, 1994). Also, the majority of participants
reported that they believed dominants and submissives possess equal power in the
actual scene. BDSM appears to be one possible outlet that people choose when they
wish to express or suppress control, rather than an activity people with abnormal
levels of desire for control feel compelled to do.

It may seem paradoxical for a submissive who relinquishes control to still

feel in full control. However, Hébert and Weaver (2014) found that although
submissives may be more agreeable during BDSM play, submissives, in general, did
not score higher on a measure of agreeableness than dominants – both fell within the
normal range for agreeableness based on the HEXACO-60 measure of the major
dimensions of personality (Ashton & Lee, 2009).

Relinquishing control while still feeling in full control also occurs during
natural birth. For example, according to Boucher et al. (2009), women who planned
home births knowingly submitted to the acute pain of labor in order to retain control
over the birthing process, free from the restrictions imposed by hospital protocols.
These women were aware that a relaxed state contributes to a normal, shorter
progression of labor (for empirical support for this hypothesis see Buckley, 2015;
Stark, Remynse, & Zwelling, 2016; Stenglin & Foureur, 2013), and this knowledge
was cited as a primary reason to seek increased control over their birthing
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 13

experience. A positive experience of natural birth is also associated with feeling in

control during the birth process (Simkin, 1991; Waldenström, 1999).

In contrast, women who recounted negative experiences of submission

during prior hospital birthing described experiences that quashed their inner strength
and denied their autonomy: ‘‘In my first birth experience, I felt bullied, robbed,
cheated, and fearful in the hospital environment. I could not use my voice in the
hospital and my doctor did not listen anyway. I was a passive patient, instead of an
active participant" (Boucher et al., 2009, p.122). Kitzinger (2012), a social
anthropologist, also described negative submission during birth: In most hospitals a
woman must give up her own clothing, a symbol of individuality, and in many ways
is expected to be like a child – to follow instructions, to avoid drawing attention to
herself, and to behave 'nicely' (Kitzinger, 2012).

We can see here notable parallels between subspace and birthing

consciousness. Pain is prominent, which is experienced positively, mainly due to its
function (pleasure in the case of masochism, and progress of the birth in the case of
natural birth). Moreover, there is submission to the pain which arises not from
weakness but from a conscious decision and inner strength.

The Phenomenological Parallels: Feeling Safe and the Intensification of Pain

There are relatively few in-depth phenomenological studies of the state of
consciousness during natural birth compared with subspace, given that researchers
have not viewed a woman’s psycho-physical state during labor as uniquely worthy
of study and description apart from the physical pain caused by damage to body
tissue. Hence, further work is necessary to define this latter special psycho-physical
state. Here, I address two phenomenological aspects with the potential to facilitate
subspace and birthing consciousness: the feeling of safety and the intensification of
pain.

Feeling secure and safe can promote a natural and healthy birth and is a
necessary condition of BDSM, which should be safe, positive, and enjoyable, not
harmful or abusive (Williams, 2006). All players are expected to express care and
empathy for each other and to engage in good communication in negotiating
personal limits within scenes (Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen, 2014). In
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 14

fact, contrary to the common assumption that the dominant retains all the control –
submissives are often perceived as possessing more control (Barker, Iantaffi, &
Gupta, 2014).

Feeling safe is related to the feeling of comfort in which important physical

and psychological needs are met. Comfort during labor engenders feelings of
physical ease and a sense of relief, security, well-being, hope, and positive
expectation, via which the woman can transcend her pain and experience personal
strength and profound psychological and spiritual comfort during labor (Lowe,
2002). Comfort, in all these aspects, is also a necessary condition to reach subspace
in BDSM. According to Pitagora (2017), a feeling of safety and trust in the
dominant partner provides an entryway to subspace, enabling the submissive to
release his or her own internal monitor.

According to Boucher et al. (2009), one of the most common reasons

provided for wanting a home birth is the feeling of "safety": Twenty-four percent of
respondents believed that home was the safest place to give birth, facilitating better
health outcomes. In early labor, catecholamines (the stress hormones) have the
potential to stop labor (Lothian, 2004). When a woman is very frightened – of pain
or anything else– labor often fails to progress. Contractions can become very strong
and difficult to handle or, more typically, they weaken. In both cases, the
contractions become ineffective (Buckley, 2015; Stark, Remynse, & Zwelling,
2016).

The second phenomenological aspect, the intensification of pain, is

commonly observed with the progression of childbirth. As the pelvic phase of labor
advances (late first stage and second stage of birth), somatic pain predominates from
(a) distention and traction on pelvic structures surrounding the vaginal vault and (b)
from distention of the pelvic floor and perineum (Lowe, 2002). BDSM play also
starts very slowly during a scene and gradually builds in intensity. This gradual
intensification is vital, because a BDSM scene can be physically and/or
psychologically demanding (Williams, 2006). According to Zussman and Pierce
(1998), this intensification is crucial to the pleasure effect, because stronger stimuli,
which would otherwise be painful become pleasurable. The scene generally
incorporates degrees of physical pain introduced with increasing intensity and
varying sensations throughout the duration. The body adapts so it can take more
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 15

intense physical pain, which is one of the pathways to subspace.

The Biochemical Parallels: Reducing Neocortex Activity (by relinquishing

some social norms)
Dietrich and Al-Shawaf (2018) propose that some altered states (such as
dreaming and daydreaming, meditation, runner's high, and some drug highs) share a
transient decrease in prefrontal cortical activity.7 I will show here that some
reduction in neocortex activity might be a necessary condition for the body to
release the hormonal cocktail needed for both natural, normal labor and for reaching
subspace as a submissive in a BDSM scene. The path to reducing neocortex activity
may go through submission to pain, letting go of control, and release of some
inhibitions. Sidestepping or mitigating some daily sociological norms is an integral
and unique step, in my opinion, to achieving these two psycho-physical altered
states that does not typically occur in other altered states such as runner’s high or
meditation.

According to the transient hypofrontality hypothesis (Dietrich, 2003;

Dietrich & Al-Shawaf, 2018), when activities such as exercise increase the demands
on areas of the brain responsible for basic sensory and perceptual processes,
autonomic nervous system regulation, and motor output, the brain does not receive
adequate blood flow to meet competing demands. Instead, the brain down-regulates
certain regions to increase blood flow to the priority areas of demand. Research
suggests that the frontal cortex and the prefrontal cortex of the brain are consistently
down-regulated in this way (see Ambler et al., 2017; Del Giorno, Hall, O’Leary,
Bixby, & Miller, 2010), which can produce time distortions, disinhibition from
social constraints, and changes in focused attention. Additionally, people
experiencing transient hypofrontality have reported reductions in pain, decision-
making activity, logic capability, and memory loss, along with increased feelings of
floating and peacefulness (Dietrich, 2003; Dietrich & Al-Shawaf, 2018). Ambler et
al.'s (2017) empirical study suggests that submission during a BDSM scene –
perhaps the subspace – is associated with an altered state aligned with Dietrich’s
(2003) transient hypofrontality hypothesis.

7
However, some studies show the frontal lobes are more active during meditation (see
Boccia, Piccardi, & Guariglia, 2015).
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 16

According to Odent (2001), hormones released during the birth process, such
as oxytocin, endorphins, and prolactin, originate in primitive brain structures such as
the hypothalamus and the pituitary gland. Odent (2003) maintains that the reduction
of neocortical control during labor is essential for hormone release and that women
giving birth must be protected against neocortical stimulation. The main stimuli of
neocortical activity are language, bright lights, the feeling of being observed, and
situations associated with a release of catecholamines. During birth or any sexual
activity, potential inhibitions originate in the neocortex (Neerland, 2013; Newton,
1992; Odent, 2008). These facts are essential to interpret the particular state of
consciousness that characterizes women in labor.

According to Cunningham (2016), birthing instincts only appear when some

areas of the neocortex are at relatively low levels of activation or when the influence
of the primitive brain is dominant. Additionally, pregnancy might produce long-
lasting changes in brain structure (see Hoekzema et al., 2017) and general cognitive
functioning, memory, and executive functioning, particularly during the third
trimester, are significantly poorer in pregnant women than in women before
pregnancy (Davies, Lum, Skouteris, Byrne, & Hayden, 2018). In my opinion, these
findings imply that reduction of neocortical activity during pregnancy, perhaps
prepare the brain for the more primitive birthing process.

Some release of the stricture of norms of adult socialization is a necessary

condition for natural birth (Odent, 2001) and for participating in a BDSM scene
(Turley, King, & Butt, 2011). Carlström (2018) notes that in Western society, the
widely accepted view is that the functional body ought to be clean and hygienic;
contact with body fluids is, in many situations, surrounded by taboos. However,
body fluids are not taboo in BDSM, insofar as some scenes contain blood, urine, and
feces. The link in this case to natural birth is obvious: Birth is a very messy event,
and feeling shame over the release of body fluids will only hinder the delivery of the
baby, perhaps because shame potentially facilitates socially normative behaviors and
originates in the neocortex as a higher cortical function (see Michl et al., 2012).8

Similarly, an essential aspect of BDSM is that responsible adults can act in

ways that consciously violate many social norms (Turley, King, & Butt, 2011;

8
See Moloney's (2010) qualitative study reporting how a woman's attitude toward her menstruation
(such as shame) might impact her birthing experience.
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 17

Williams, 2006) and replace them with self-created, transgressive sexual rules.
Assumptions about sex, pain, gender roles, dominance, and submission can be
reconstructed, transformed, and celebrated with sexual openness (Turley, King, &
Butt, 2011). Even sexual fantasies, free from guilt and social constraints, are used as
a vehicle to achieve subspace (Pitagora, 2017). Furthermore, in modern society there
are few arenas where strong emotions are permitted, such as theatres, carnivals,
exotic environments, and, of course, BDSM scenes (Carlström, 2018). I contend that
the similarity between BDSM and natural undisturbed birth is significantly greater
than what occurs in other venues such as theatres and carnivals and "vanilla” or
typical sex environments.

Moreover, according to Carlström (2018), for the submissive, the BDSM

session is an arena where bodies are allowed, or even required, to be 'open,' or
transgressive and beyond control, in a society where the 'closed' body, marked by
strong control of bodily and emotional expression, is elevated to an ideal. I maintain
that natural undisturbed birth essentially requires an open body in the metaphoric
sense of Carlström (2018) and in the physical, non-metaphorical sense as well. This
similarity implies an interesting connection between these two psycho-physical
altered states.

Summary of the Parallel Pathways to Subspace and Birthing Consciousness

Diagram 1 summarizes the above discussion, illustrating strong parallels

between psycho-physical altered states of subspace and birthing consciousness.
Some factors are more crucial than others for achieving these altered states. While I
have divided these factors into a conceptual framework and phenomenological
aspects, pathways other than the one I chose are certainly possible.

To reach subspace or birthing consciousness, it is helpful, or perhaps

necessary, to achieve the state of mind such that pain is not equivalent to suffering
and is perceived as positive in these contexts. Furthermore, increasing the pain
gradually helps prevent pain from being experienced as suffering (see Zussman &
Pierce, 1998 in the case of BDSM activity, and Leap & Anderson, 2008, p.42, in the
case of natural birth). In many cases the participant needs to submit to the pain based
on a conscious decision, from inner strength and not from weakness, for which a
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 18

safe and secure relationship is prerequisite. Furthermore, to reach both subspace and
birthing consciousness, the participant has to relinquish behaviors and attitudes
prescribed by some social norms to enable release of the hormones needed for these
psycho-physical states to occur.

The Evolutionary Hypothesis: a Masochistic Instinct?

As I have shown above, there are interesting parallels between the psycho-
physical altered state during natural and undisturbed childbirth, what I have termed
'birthing consciousness' and the subspace. Moreover, I argue that the pathway to
these altered states involves the same basic processes and factors. The question one
should ask is – What is the relevance of this comparison? From similarity alone, we
cannot deduce causal relations, or any other explanation with confidence. I contend,
however, that there is more here than mere similarities. From an evolutionary point
of view, these parallels may not be coincidental; rather, I hypothesize that 'birthing
consciousness' can serve as (at least) a partial lower level explanation of the
enigmatic appeal of being a submissive in a BDSM scene.

My argument is as follows:

I. Reaching subspace might be a stated goal of some submissives some of the

SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 19

time, as it tends to be a highly sought-after experience. However, many

people engage in BDSM, or even only fantasize about BDSM sexual
activities, without knowing about the pleasure of subspace either in theory or
from actual experience.

II. If it is reasonable to assume that sexual masochism is inherent in human

nature, then the appeal to receive pain during sex can best be explained in
terms of a lower level explanation with roots in our biology, not only in our
culture and psychological makeup.

III. The ability to attain the experiences commonly associated with birthing
consciousness once had a crucial evolutionary benefit for the survival of the
woman and her progeny during childbirth.

IV. Many parallels between subspace and birthing consciousness suggest an

interesting correlation if not a connection between the two experiences.

V. My hypothesis: The psycho-physical ability to reach birthing consciousness

might be the source of the desire to reach subspace (and maybe even the
source of additional altered states of mind that link submission, pain, and
pleasure).

VI. This hypothesis proposes an explanation for the enigmatic appeal of sexual
masochism: We are hard-wired to desire reaching a state linked with
submission in the context of pain because it conferred a crucial evolutionary
benefit for women in childbirth. This hypothesized 'masochistic instinct' may
explain the tendency to only fantasize about sexual masochism, without prior
knowledge of the pleasant psycho-physical altered state that can be reached
by a submissive in a BDSM scene.

One important question is whether sexual masochism is inherent in human

nature or an effect of the cultural organization of mating? It is sometimes difficult to
classify particular behaviors as BDSM. The diversity of BDSM practices makes
arriving at prevalence estimates challenging, because some people who engage in
activities consistent with definitions of BDSM may not recognize or wish to label
them as such (Hébert & Weaver, 2014). It is also well known that most people
engage in sexual fantasy, and many occasionally engage in playful sexual variations
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 20

(such as role play, or the use of sex toys to enhance sexual stimulation) that could be
classified as on the BDSM spectrum (Williams, 2006).

Furthermore, women have fantasies about painful sex, including submission,

even if they are not engaged in this kind of play or have heard of it before. For
example, according to Critelli and Bivona (2008), between 31% and 57% of women
have fantasies in which they are forced to have sex against their will, and for 9% to
17% of women these are a frequent or favorite fantasy experience. These findings
correlate with the much older study of Kinsey, Pomeroy, and Martin (1948), in
which 50% of men and 54% of women indicated that they found sexual pleasure in
being bitten, and with a more recent study that found that 65% of Canadian
university students reported fantasies of being tied up, while 62% fantasized about
tying up someone else (Renaud & Byers, 1999).

In fact, since the late 1890s, sexologists have considered sexual masochism
as a product of natural evolution, with documented evidence in lower mammals:
Over 40 mammalian species have been identified that bite while mating (see Gross,
2006). These findings of SM-related behaviors may correlate with the hypothesis
that the appeal of pain during sex can best be explained in terms of a lower level
explanation rooted in our biology, not only in our culture and psychological makeup.

Additionally, BDSM is not a modern phenomenon, as BDSM has been

practiced across time and cultures. For example, the Kama Sutra, an ancient Indian
Hindu text presumed by scholars to have been written around the 2nd century BC by
Vātsyāyana (see Arbuthnot, 1883), is a guide about love, marriage, and family, with
sections dedicated to maximizing sexual pleasure. The guide contains instructions
for inflicting pain by applying pressure, scratching, marking with the nails, biting,
striking in different ways (with the hands or with instruments), and analyzing the
sounds caused by each striking. There is even a warning regarding what we today
call 'edge play' and its possible mortal consequences (pp. 62-64). Interestingly,
according to the Kama Sutra, leaving marks is considered positive, because it
increases and maintains the love of a woman: "…nothing tends to increase love so
much as the effects of marking with the nails, and biting" (p. 53). Williams (2006),
noted that submissive relationships, particularly those that are long-term, may be
characterized by levels of trust, intimacy, and sharing unmatched by many
conventional relationships.
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 21

Malinowski (1957) reported aspects of sadomasochism in the sexual life of

the Trobriand islanders, a traditional agricultural-based society. He described cruel
forms of caressing, such as scratching, biting and spitting in their lovemaking as
elements in eroticism (p.475). Lovers in the Trobriand Islands left the marks of their
passion all over each other’s bodies, by frequently drawing blood with bites to their
lovers’ lips, cheeks, and noses, tearing out clumps of hair, and raking each other’s
skin so deeply they left permanent scars called 'kimali' (McAllister, 2010, pp.251-
252). This example provides further evidence that sexual masochism is inherent in
human nature.

Turning to a woman’s ability to give birth, in the past, a woman unable to

have a vaginal birth did not survive, nor did her descendant. Today, the Caesarean
section ensures, in most cases, a healthy childbirth for mothers and their descendants
who would not have survived in the past (Odent, 2001). It is obvious, in my opinion,
that through principles of natural selection, a female who was able to overcome the
acute pain of childbirth and her ability to reach 'birthing consciousness' would likely
pass that response, associated behaviors, and tendency to do so on to subsequent
generations. This hypothesis can explain the evolved tendency towards submission-
pain-pleasure in BDSM; that is, the ability to cancel the 'fight or flight' response in
this special case, in the right arena and context. In other words, successful responses
to pain, through submission and even pleasure ('birthing consciousness' or
something close) have been passed on to subsequent generations through natural
selection: Women without this successful response were disproportionately unlikely
to survive natural childbirth and deliver a healthy baby.

Throughout most of human history, once men and women reached

reproductive age, women still had to endure the hurdle of childbirth itself and be
sufficiently healthy after the birth to take care of the baby. This hurdle, as far as I
know, has not received sufficient (if any) attention in the literature on evolutionary
psychology. Accordingly, women's ability to survive childbirth, which is psycho-
physical in nature, as I have demonstrated, is most likely to be reflected in our 'hard-
wiring’; in the case at hand, the tendency of many to experience or seek submission
and tolerate, if not enjoy, pain during sex.

In terms of my hypothesis, throughout most of human history, women who

lacked the tendency or the ability to reach 'birthing consciousness' were unlikely to
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 22

survive an unmedicated childbirth. Accordingly, Boucher et al. (2009) reported that

increased epinephrine levels occurring with anxiety during labor are associated with
an increase in the length of labor. Lowe (2002) reported that distress-related
thoughts during latent labor predicted longer labors, significantly more instrumental
deliveries, and increased abnormal fetal heart rate patterns (see also Buckley, 2015;
Sakala, Romano, & Buckley, 2016). Moreover, the negative effects of labor pain are
believed to originate primarily in alterations in the maternal respiratory pattern and
the catecholamine-mediated stress response. The potential physiological effects of
severe labor pain may include increased oxygen consumption and hyperventilation
with hypocarbia and respiratory alkalosis, autonomic stimulation and catecholamine
release with gastric inhibition and increased gastric acidity, lipolysis, increased
peripheral vascular resistance, cardiac output, decreased placental perfusion, and
incoordinate uterine activity. At the extreme end of the spectrum, these responses
are hypothesized to produce maternal metabolic acidemia, fetal acidosis, and
dysfunctional labor (Lowe, 2002).

In contrast, according to Lowe (2002), a woman’s “self-efficacy for labor” or

confidence in her ability to cope with the pain of childbirth is significantly
correlated with decreased pain perception and decreased medication / analgesia use
during labor. In my terms, these women tend to reach 'birthing consciousness' and
thus have been more likely to survive unmedicated childbirth throughout most
human history.

I contend that women who plan home births are confident in their ability to
cope with the acute pain of childbirth, or even "submit" to the pain and accept it as
"positive pain." Thus, women who plan home births tend to experience birthing
consciousness. Indeed, planned home births are marked by a decreased frequency of
induction, augmentation, episiotomy, operative vaginal birth, and cesarean delivery
(Boucher et al., 2009). Interestingly, prior experience with non-gynecological pain
may be associated with decreased labor pain. Previous pain experience provides the
opportunity to develop pain-coping skills and more experientially grounded attitudes
about pain that may influence the woman’s unique interpretation of nociceptive
stimuli during labor (Lowe, 2002). I contend that before the era of modern medical
assistance during labor, women who could not reach 'birthing consciousness' (or
something close) decreased the probability they would survive childbirth.
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 23

Gender differences in BDSM roles may provide partial confirmation of my

hypothesis: If sexual masochism is a psychological adaptation for women due to its
connection to female reproductive responses, then there should be more female
submissives than male submissives. Indeed, in their study of the psychological
characteristics of BDSM practitioners, Wismeijer and van Assen (2013) found that
the association of BDSM role and gender was strong and significant: among the
men, 33.4%, 18.3%, and 48.3% were Sub, Switch, or Dom, respectively, whereas
these percentages were 75.6%, 16.4%, and 8% for women. Furthermore, Jozifkova
(2018) reported that men were more excited by their dominance than their
submission, but women were excited by their own submission rather than their
partner’s submission.

In depth discussion of gender issues is beyond the scope of this article.

However, such findings of gender differences may not be crucial to my hypothesis:
Since all men also carry the genetics of their foremothers, the existence of a
substantial number of male masochists does not weaken my hypothesis because it is
possible that their tendency to submission and masochism is an evolutionary by-
product.

The following objection to my hypothesis may arise: Today it is no longer

necessary to experience acute pain during childbirth. Why, then, are (many) people
still hard-wired to experience a tendency towards submission and pain? My answer
is that although culture may change natural selection pressures, 170 years of
medicated births are insignificant in terms of (human) evolutionary processes.

A Path to Further Research

An evolutionary psychology explanation, while intriguing and tentative,

needs empirical validation. The preliminary research conducted by Ambler et al.
(2017) of altered states of consciousness during BDSM scenes is an important
starting point for future studies. Ambler et al. (2017) measured cortisol and
testosterone in a saliva test, but the researchers did not assess oxytocin, a
neuropeptide with widespread influence on many physiological and social functions
including labor and birth, lactation, sexual behavior, nurturing maternal behaviors,
and stress reduction (White-Traut et al., 2009).
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 24

Hence, additional studies measuring the effect of oxytocin on these

physiological and social functions would shed more light on the link between the
psycho-physical altered states of subspace and birthing consciousness. I also
recommend measuring prolactin, as it plays an important role in reproduction, such
as in mating and maternal behavior (Odent, 2001).

Furthermore, uninhibited, undrugged childbirth and sexual excitement are

similar in many respects, including breathing patterns; vocalization; facial
expression; uterine, cervical, abdominal muscle and central nervous system
reactions; strength and flexibility; sensory perception; and emotional response
(Newton, 1992). Thus, in further studies, prolactin and oxytocin could be compared
before, during, and after a natural undisturbed birth to levels during vanilla sexual
activity and levels during BDSM sexual activity. I predict that submissives and
women during childbirth will exhibit significantly higher correlated outcomes than
participants in vanilla sexual activity and women during childbirth.

In this article, I hypothesized that women undergoing natural and

undisturbed birth sometimes experience a special psycho-physical state called
'birthing consciousness.' This hypothesis implies that birthing consciousness can be
readily distinguishable from other psycho-physical states. However, as I have noted,
more research is needed to characterize this state of consciousness. Future
phenomenological research should characterize this state subjectively, and future
brain research should characterize this state on a physiological basis. However, if
research proves that 'birthing consciousness' is not a well-defined state with clear
psychological and physical boundaries, but rather an array of poorly defined
experiences that can occur in a variety of contexts and circumstances, then my
hypothesis will be refuted.

If 'birthing consciousness' can be documented as a relatively discrete state of

consciousness, then phenomenological studies that compare the subjective responses
of people in subspace and birthing consciousness would be helpful to deepen the
understanding of whether the two posited altered states are, indeed,
phenomenologically similar in the ways I have described, and more. One interesting
question is whether women who experience subspace before birthing have easier
births. How would these women characterize the phenomenology of the two psycho-
physical states: Would they agree that there are similarities in the sensations, the
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 25

thoughts, and behaviors experienced? Is their experience of birth different than

women who did not experience subspace? Research could also examine whether
women who experience natural and undisturbed birth are more likely to experience
subspace than women who have not experienced birth at all, or who experienced a
medicated birth.

Many additional avenues of research can be employed to evaluate my

hypothesis empirically. For example, I assume that masochism is inherent in human
nature and not an effect of the cultural organization of mating and\or the
socialization of childbirth. However, none of the researchers who have studied the
lifeways in pre-agricultural societies (e.g., Everett, 2009; Konner & Worthman,
1980; Shostak, 2014) have reported on sexual masochism. Future studies can search
for expressions of sexual masochism in existing hunter-gatherer societies.

Conclusion

I have offered a hypothesis regarding the evolutionary origin of the

seemingly anomalous desire to be a submissive during sex scenes in BDSM. The
answer to this anomaly is the psycho-physical altered state called subspace, which I
conceptually link to a 'birthing consciousness' – a psycho-physical altered state of a
natural undisturbed birth, which throughout most of our history increased the
probability of a healthy and safe birth for mother and baby. I believe this hypothesis
(a) provides insight into why many people who are sophisticated, successful,
humanists, feminists and so on, desire to be submissive and receive pain during sex
and (b) suggests viable avenues for empirical research. According to Baumeister
(1997), submissives are mainly drawn from among the upper and upper middle
classes, especially people who are well-off and successful or even powerful in their
daily lives. Interestingly, Boucher et al. (2009) found that the majority of women in
the U.S. who choose home birth had a college education (62%) and many had
completed a bachelor’s degree or higher.

BDSM is a complex phenomenon, and I do not claim to advance a

comprehensive explanation of BDSM. Surely, there are historical, anthropological,
psychological, philosophical and other reasons for engaging in BDSM activities. In
addition, the spectrum of experiences and behaviors associated with BDSM are so
broad and diverse, that it is, at times, difficult to parse with precision which sexual
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 26

activities can be categorized as BDSM and which cannot. Hence, I have focused on
the specific psycho-physical state related to the activity of a submissive during a
BDSM scene.

This article is theoretical but, of course, the nature of the problems posed by
a science of consciousness requires a combination of research and theory. As Tononi
(2008) notes: "…one could say that theories without experiments are lame, but
experiments without theories are blind." (p.232). In the case herein, I questioned
what makes being a submissive and receiving pain during sex so appealing? I
considered the motivation for this phenomenon (reaching subspace) from several
points of view and found it to be marked by strong parallels with another
phenomenon – 'birthing consciousness', a special psycho-physical altered state of
natural undisturbed birth. I hypothesized that the ability, or even the desire to reach
this state, at one time conferred a crucial evolutionary advantage during natural
birth.9 If my low-level explanation is sound, then not only are submissives, as a
group, psychologically healthy (not characterized by high levels of
psychopathology), as research has determined, but they are arguably also, at least
from an evolutionary point of view, more fit for survival.

Acknowledgments

I thank the anonymous reviewers of this journal for their insightful comments. Special
thanks to Steven Jay Lynn in particular, for extremely helpful and fruitful suggestions
on this paper. I also thank Nisim Avishar, Avshalom C. Elitzur, and Michel Odent,
who provided feedback on an earlier draft.

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9
Birthing consciousness still has many benefits, but with the development of conventional medicine, it
is no longer crucial. However, the negative implications of unnecessarily medicated birth, for the
mother and the baby, go far beyond the perinatal period (see Odent, 2001; Peters et al., 2018).
SUBMISSION, PAIN AND PLEASURE 27

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