Assignment

1. The following poorly written letter refuses a request from a reporter seeking salary information
about top sales performers for an article. Analyze the message. List its weaknesses, outline an
appropriate writing plan and then revise the message.

Current date

Ms. Emily Decker

Dear Ms. Decker:

We cannot release salary information because such disclosure would violate our employees’ privacy and
lead to lawsuits. However, the article you are researching for Business Management Weekly sounds
fascinating and will be most interesting to its readers. As a matter of fact, we are flattered that you wish
to include LaserScope. You may be interested to know that we have many outstanding young salespeople
—some are male and some are female—who command top salaries.

I cannot reveal private employee information because each of our salespeople operate under an
individual salary contract. This is a result of salary negotiations several years ago. During those
negotiations an agreement was reached that both sales staff members and management were in
agreement to keep the terms of these individual contracts confidential. For obvious reasons, we cannot
release specific salaries and commission rates. It has been suggested, however, that we can provide you
with a list that is a ranking of our top salespeople for a period of the past five years. As a matter of fact,
three of the top salespeople are currently under the age of thirty-five.

We are sorry that we cannot help you more with your fascinating research. Enclosed is a fact sheet in
regard to our top salespeople, and we wish you every success with your article. It would be terrific to see
LaserScope represented in it. Do not hesitate to call me if you have any questions.

Cordially,

2. In an aggressive expansion effort, Jamba Juice became a good customer of your software
company. You have enjoyed the business it brought, and you are also quite fond of its products—
especially Banana Berry and Mega Mango smoothies. Jamba Inc. is in the midst of expanding its
menu with the goal of becoming the Starbucks of the smoothie. “Just as Starbucks defined the
category of coffee, Jamba has the opportunity to define the category of the healthy snack,” said
analyst Brian Moore.16 One goal of Jamba is to boost the frequency of customer visits by offering
some products that are more filling. Then it could attract hungry customers as well as thirsty
ones. It was experimenting with adding grains such as oatmeal or nuts such as almonds so that a
smoothie packs more substance and could substitute for a meal. You receive a letter from Joe
Wong, your business friend and contact at Jamba Juice. He asks you to do him and Jamba Juice
a favor. He wants to set up a juice tasting bar in your company cafeteria to test his new
experimental drinks. All the drinks would be free, of course, but employees would have to fill out
forms to evaluate each recipe. The details could be worked out later. You definitely support
healthy snacks, but you think this idea is terrible. First of all, your company doesn’t even have a
cafeteria. It has a small lunch room, and employees bring their own food. Secondly, you would be
 embarrassed to ask your boss to do this favor for Jamba Juice, despite the business it has brought
your company. Write a letter that retains good customer relations with Jamba Juice but refuses
this request.

3. Analyze the following persuasive message. List its weaknesses, outline an appropriate writing
plan and then revise the message.

Dear Lisa:
Because we heard that you frequently travel to our fair city of Tampa, we thought it would not be too
much trouble for you to be the keynote speaker at our uT management Society banquet april 2. Your
newspaper columns and many books on careers have been reliable sources of information and
inspiration to readers across the country and especially to us business students here at the university of
Tampa.

One of our professors said that you were the dean of career columnists. maybe that is why you have been
named the person that our students would most like to have as the keynote speaker at our uT management
Society banquet april 2. all of us will be seeking business careers when we graduate, so this is why we
are interested in tips about résumés, cover letters and interviews. We were surprised, though, when our
professor told us that you have written a number of “Dummies” books including Résumés for Dummies,
Cover Letters for Dummies, and so on. We are not dummies, but we are especially interested in learning
about internet job searching, the topic of one of your recent columns.

We can’t offer an honorarium; therefore, we have to rely on local speakers. But we can promise you a
fine dinner at the uT Faculty Club. We also know that you often stay in Crystal Beach, which is not too
far from our campus, so we hoped you could work us into your schedule. Our banquet evening as a
general rule begins at 6:30 with a social hour, followed by dinner at 7:30 P.M. and the speaker from
8:30 until 9 or 9:15 P.M. You won’t have to worry about transportation; we can arrange a limousine for
you and your husband if you need it.

We realize that you have a busy schedule, but we hope you will carve out a space for us. please let our
advisor, professor michael Eastman, have the favor of an early reply.

Cordially,
4 Despite spending countless hours in the classroom and writing stacks of meticulous research
papers, many graduates who are about to enter the real world are clueless when it comes to basic
personal finance, according to the experts. As program chair for the associated Student
Organization at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, you suggest that the group invite financial
celebrity Suze Orman to be its keynote speaker at special graduation convocation. The ASO agreed
and set aside $1,000 as an honorarium. This is not very much to entice the author of The Money
Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke, but Ms. Orman has been heavily promoting her book in
cross-country tours to college campuses. The ASO group thinks it stands a fair chance of luring this
financial celebrity to campus. Write a convincing favor/action request to Suze Orman, invite her to
speak on May 26. Provide direct and indirect benefits. Include an end date and make it easy to
respond.

1. 5 Analyze the following message. List its weaknesses and then outline an
appropriate writing plan. After planning, revise the message.
Date: February 1, 2013
To: Kaitlin Merek
From: Seth Jackson
Subject: Need Help!

The Children’s Resource Center badly needs funds. We have tried other things, but now we
want to try a charity golf event. In view of the fact that you have expertise in this area and
since you volunteered to offer your assistance, I am writing this e-mail to pick your brain, so
to speak, in regard to questions that have to do with five basic fundamentals in the process of
preparation. I’m going to need your answers these areas before February 15. Is that
possible? Maybe you would rather talk to me. Should I contact you?

In regard to the budget, I have no idea how to estimate costs. For example, what about
administrative costs. How about marketing? And there are salaries, cell-phone rentals,
copiers, and a lot of other things. I also need help in choosing a golf course. Should it be a
public course? Or a private course? Resort? One big area that I worry about is sponsors.
Should I go after one big sponsor? But let’s say I get Pepsi to be a sponsor. Then do I have to
ban Coke totally from the scene?

Another big headache is scoring. I will bet you can make some suggestions for tabulating the
golf results. And posting them. By the way, did you see that Tiger Woods is back in the
winner’s circle?

I have noticed that other golf tournaments have extra events, such as a pairing party to
introduce partners. Many also have an awards dinner to award prizes. Should I be planning
extra events?

Seth Jackson
Philanthropy and Gifts Coordinator
Children’s Resource Center