Aga Khan University Examination Board

Notes from E-Marking Centre on HSSC-I English Compulsory Examination May 2017

Introduction
This document has been produced for the teachers and candidates of Higher Secondary
School Certificate (HSSC-I) English Compulsory. It contains comments on candidates‟
responses to the 2017 HSSC-I Examination indicating the quality of the responses and
highlighting their relative strengths and weaknesses.

E-Marking Notes
This report includes overall comments on candidates‟ performance on every question and
some specific examples of candidates‟ responses which support the mentioned comments.
Please note that the descriptive comments represent an overall perception of the better and
weaker responses as gathered from the e-marking session. However, the candidates‟
responses shared (where deemed necessary) in this document represent some specific
example(s) of the mentioned comments.

The following is a description of the tasks and skills required for fulfillment of those tasks.

Question No Question Type Skills Assessed

1 CRQs on a reading passage - Ability to understand a reading text on
a literal level (main/ sub ideas)
(a,b,c,d)
- Ability to understand a reading text on
inferential level (opinions, evidence,
reasoning, cause and effect reading
between the lines)

2 Cloze Passage - Ability to read and understand the

given text
- Ability to provide missing information
as per the context of a passage

3 and 4 Letter and Essay Writing - Ability to develop a formal piece of

writing with appropriate focus,
(a,b,c)
organisation and purpose
- Ability to narrate, express and write
information based (expository) essays
- Ability to express ideas clearly by using
accurate sentence structure, connective
devices, spellings, etc.

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Teachers and candidates should be aware that examiners may ask questions that address the
Student Learning Outcomes (SLOs) in a manner that requires candidates to respond by
integrating knowledge, understanding and application skills they have developed by studying
the course.

Candidates also need to know that the marks allocated to the question and the answer space
(which is provided on the examination paper), are a guide to the length of the required
response. A longer response will not in itself lead to higher marks. Writing far beyond the
indicated space may reduce the time available for answering other questions.

Candidates need to be familiar with the command words which contain some terms
commonly used in examination questions. However, candidates should also be aware that not
all questions will start with, or contain, any key word from the glossary. Questions such as
„how?‟, „why?‟ or „what?‟ may be asked, and verbs which are not included in the list may be
used, such as „elaborate‟, „analyse‟ or „state‟.

Note: Student responses reproduced in this report have not been corrected for
grammar, spelling, format or factual information.

Detailed Comments:

Question 1:

Comprehension skills are critical for success in the English Compulsory Examinations.
Candidates are expected to be able to engage with a diverse range of texts and demonstrate
the ability to retrieve information, draw inferences from what they have read, interpret
viewpoints and perspectives and question or critically evaluate it, as required.

Question 1 was based on a reading passage. It had four sub-parts. Candidates are required to
understand the reading passage and accordingly answer the questions asked on various
aspects of the passage. The reading passage was an excerpt from Interview with the Vampire
by Anne Rice. Candidates who scored high marks tracked carefully through the text and made
a range of valid comments. The candidates who copied whole sections unselectively or relied
on selecting a line or two, received only limited reward. Better candidates were able to make
clear inferences and in some cases gave a clear overview.

Part a:

Describe briefly the atmosphere of the passage. Cite any TWO details to support your
answer.

In some ways this question was anticipated to be challenging. However, it was delightful to
see that most candidates attempted it well.

This question required the candidates to consider writer‟s craft. However, the writer‟s use of
expressive vocabulary facilitated the candidates in understanding the „atmosphere‟. It was
reassuring to observe that candidates have tried to understand the writer‟s choice of words
and its purpose. Many candidates made a good attempt to answer the question by focusing on
the progression of the story and the use of vocabulary.

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In better responses, candidates described the atmosphere of the text by using words like
„thrilling‟, „fearful‟, „scary‟, „suspenseful‟ and „frightening‟. The mentioned/ identified
atmosphere was supported by description of the scene in which the story is set/ elaborately
describes the feelings of fear/ excitement in the boy/ appearance of the vampire. The better
responses exhibited the understanding of vocabulary used by the author to build up the
atmosphere of the story. Some cited textual evidences like: The boy became speechless.
Vampire‟s brilliant green eyes were like flames in a skull. The vampire was utterly white and
smooth, etc. which were used to good effect to justify their answers.

Example:

Weaker responses were unable to exhibit specific textual references to indicate the
atmosphere. Mostly candidates mentioned a few general details or copied paragraph 5
verbatim without building up the answer. A reason of this may be because the word
„atmosphere‟ occurs in this paragraph. The skill of inference and use of own words were
missing. In many cases, the candidates gave generalised details that the use of adjectives etc.
has contributed in the creation of atmosphere. While this is true, specific details are needed to
gain better reward.

Occasionally, the weaker responses presented the physical description of the scene. The
responses displayed the appearance of the room: vampire and the boy are present, they are
conversing, etc. However, they did not mention the effect created by these descriptions/
details. Hence, this resulted in limited credit.

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Example:

Part b:

i. Describe the appearance of the vampire.

ii. What does the appearance tell you about his personality?

The first part of this question was generally attempted well. In the second part, most
candidates demonstrated the ability to infer personality traits from the words and actions
presented in the text. However, some candidates did not seem to understand the requirement
of the second part of the question.

In better responses, candidates mentioned two to three points representing the appearance of
the vampire. Mostly candidates wrote about physical attributes like „two brilliant green eyes‟,
„utterly white and smooth‟. At times, a reference was made to his finely tailored black coat,
the long folds of the cape, the black silk tie knotted at the throat. In the second part, the high
scoring candidates made an attempt at making inference from a fact. For example,
„politeness, well-groomed/ conscious of his appearance/ wanted to express his feelings/ eager
to share his story‟ were some common responses by the candidates who scored well. In a few
other instances, candidates quoted textual phrases which were indicative of personality traits.
All such responses were considered for full marks because of overall understanding and
relevance.

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Example:

Weaker responses reflected that candidates lacked the ability to understand or interpret the
devices used by the writer; for example, the conversation between the two characters and the
narrator‟s comments were copied verbatim. Mostly, candidates lost marks in the second part
of the question. Most commonly observed tendency was to copy a part of text with limited
relevance.

While reading a comprehension text, candidates should attempt to understand how

information regarding one main character is developed through several techniques, i.e. the
narrator‟s comments and thoughts, what is reflected through the character‟s actions and
words. Some activities about what that information shows about the character would help
candidates with all basic inference questions.

Example:

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 Part c:

The boy appears to be scared of the vampire in the story. Cite FOUR phrases/ sentences from
the text to support this statement. (4 marks)

The question was generally attempted well. It was a straightforward question attempting to
assess the candidate‟s understanding of the boy‟s feelings.

In better responses, candidates mentioned phrases/ sentences which represented the shock/
fear of the boy. Some commonly cited phrases were “The boy‟s mouth was open before the
sound came out. / The boy recoiled, sweat running down the sides of his face. / The boy
staring up at the vampire, could not repress a gasp.” As these phrases/ sentences conveyed the
desired feelings, all such responses were considered for full marks.

Example:

In weaker responses, candidates mentioned random phrases about the boy getting afraid of
the vampire. Such responses indicated that candidates were presenting personal opinions
about the situation being scary as the vampire is a dangerous creature. Such candidates did
not focus on the question or writer‟s use of language.

Example:

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 Part d:

Instead of the boy, you are about to interview the vampire. How would you feel and what
would you ask him?

The question aimed to assess the thinking skills and viewpoint of the candidates. The
requirement of the question was to a) analyse the situation from the viewpoint of the boy b)
make plausible suggestions about the feelings and the questions that they may ask from the
vampire.

In better responses, the candidates gave five reasonable points depicting plausible feelings
and relevant questions. The answers indicated close engagement with the text and a keen
observation of what the boy was feeling during the story. Mostly, high scoring responses
added up to four questions (at times 3) that they would want to ask the vampire. All details
were relevant.

Example:

Weaker responses reflected that the candidates misunderstood the requirement of the
question. Candidates seemed to be under the impression that they can write anything in
application-related questions regardless of relevance and situation. Some of the weak
responses copied the questions the boy asks from the vampire in the story hence indicating a
flawed understanding of the question.

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Example:

Question 2:

This question was a Cloze Test; candidates had to read the passage carefully and fill in the
missing words with respect to the situation, grammar and context.

This question could be regarded as most challenging for the candidates. Very few candidates
scored full marks. It should be communicated that whilst solving a cloze text, candidates
must pay attention to the meaning the passage is trying to convey. Gauging the central idea of
the passage will help in inserting appropriate words. The theme of the passage selected for
cloze test was „mass extinction of animal life from Earth‟; this was indicated in the first line.
In this question, most responses had little bearing on the context of the passage. Though
marking scheme was relaxed to accommodate partially correct words, misspelled words/ and
at times two words, the performance indicates a need for focus and practice.

Better responses displayed appropriate use of words with respect to situation, grammar and
context in each of the given blanks. The use of tenses and spellings of the given words were
correct. In a few cases, candidates seemed to understand the usage of words but did not spell
the words correctly. Marks were not deducted for spelling in such cases. The transition
devices used by the high-scoring candidates revealed the understanding of the content.

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Example:

Weaker responses failed to provide appropriate words for all the blanks. Such responses
demonstrated lack of knowledge of sentence structures, prepositions and parts of speech.

Candidates should be instructed to try to understand the context of the given passage and then
predict the missing words from contextual clues. The tense used in the text and the overall
idea can also provide useful clues for solving a Cloze Test.

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Example:

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Question 3:

The candidates were directed to write a letter on any one of the two choices given. Most
candidates chose to use formal structure and concise and impersonal language appropriate to
examination context. Candidates wrote appropriate reasons and suggestions for their choice
of letter. In a few cases, tone and style seemed a bit informal and did not take into account the
nature of relationship with, and the interests of, the recipient. The content, in most cases, was
relevant and appropriate. In their preparation for the examination, candidates should know the
mechanics of writing an effective and a comprehensive letter related to the details of the
given prompt.

Part a:

Students of your class have noticed that litter thrown by various people in and around your
school is causing different kinds of pollution and health hazards.

Write a letter to your Principal requesting him/ her to arrange a „No Litter Week‟ in your
school. In your letter describe:
- why you want this week to be arranged
- how it would be beneficial
- in what ways can it be managed

Most of the candidates scored between average to good on this question.

In better responses for Question 3 a, the candidates:

 showed a clear understanding of the stimuli. The responses displayed appropriate

understanding of the question. The candidates explained why they want this week to be
arranged, what they hope to accomplish, how it would benefit everyone in school, and a
few tips on how to manage it. It should be noted that very few candidates paid attention
to the last pointer, i.e. in what ways can it be managed.
 wrote the correct format of a formal letter, i.e. date, address of sender/ receiver,
salutation, subject, body, complimentary close and name/ signature.
 used formal language and displayed knowledge of conventions of written English.
 displayed correct use of tenses and subject-verb agreement.
 used accurate spellings and punctuation.

Note: It was observed that even in better responses a few candidates wrote their real names
and/ or address. It is prohibited to reveal your identity. Teachers need to inform the
candidates to avoid using their real name or address in the examination.

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Example:

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Candidates should attempt to understand a) the focus of the question and b) possible points
which can be expanded for the benefit of the write-up.

In weaker responses for Question 3 a, the candidates:

 wrote about their wish to organise „No Litter Week‟. However, the explanation of the
benefits/ ways to organise was unimpressive or incomplete.
 wrote incomplete format of a letter.
 wrote content which did not adhere with the stimuli.
 used clichés, slangs and internet language (i.e. the short form of the words).
 wrote incorrect sentence structure with serious grammatical errors.
 used ineffective spellings and punctuation.

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Example:

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 Part b:

Citizen Police Liaison Committee (CPLC) conducted a raid in a busy area of the city and
arrested various street criminals who were allegedly involved in street crimes like mobile and
car snatching. According to The Express Tribune, the raid was conducted after residents of
the area informed police about suspicious activities in the neighbourhood.

Write a letter to the Editor of a well-known newspaper appreciating the effort of the Citizen
Police Liaison Committee (CPLC). In your letter:

 Mention the need for enhanced cooperation between citizens and police
 How such actions are helpful
 Indicate if such actions are needed elsewhere in your city/ town/ village

In better responses for Question 3b, the candidates:

 showed understanding of the recipient: most candidates understood that the letter ought
to be addressed to the Editor of a newspaper and the content is about expressing
appreciation for CPLC. Candidates mentioned appreciation for CPLC for arresting
criminals and indicated how the correspondence is important between citizens and
police. They further indicated the areas where more work is needed. However, it was
observed that the latter part did not indicate specific areas in most cases, an attempt was
made to indicate a city/ a town but there were no specifics to corroborate.
 wrote the correct format of a formal letter, i.e. date, address of sender/ receiver,
salutation, subject, body, complimentary close and name/ signature.
 used formal language and displayed knowledge of conventions of written English.
 displayed originality of thought and relevance of content.
 displayed a logical progression of ideas.
 displayed use of subject-verb agreement and tenses with moderate accuracy.
 used accurate spellings and punctuation mostly.

Note: It was observed that even in better responses a few candidates wrote their real names
and/ or address. It is prohibited to reveal your identity. Teachers need to inform the
candidates to avoid using their real name or address in the examination.

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Example:

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In weaker responses for Question 3b, the candidates:

 wrote reasons that were illogical or less probable to the given prompt. Some average
scoring candidates digressed after initially appreciating the efforts of CPLC and
expressed how corruption has seeped into the police system. At the end, these letters did
not look like letter of appreciation. The low scoring candidates wrote a few lines of
appreciation and later started rewording the stimuli without any added value. At times,
candidates erroneously addressed the „CPLC team‟ as the recipient and not the Editor of
a local newspaper.
 occasionally, wrote material which was irrelevant; however, the expression was fine.
One such example is given below. Candidates should be given classroom practice to
focus on the topic better; focusing on key words of the question can help.
 understood the topic but used many redundant ideas and phrases.
 displayed serious and persistent errors of grammar, word choice, spelling and diction.

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Example:

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Question 4:

The candidates were directed to write an essay on any of the three choices given. Most
candidates chose to use the formal structure and the concise and effective language of any
traditional essay in an examination context. In their preparation for the examination,
candidates should be taught the mechanics of writing an effective and a comprehensive essay
using thesis statements and topic sentences. Candidates should be encouraged to use their
imagination and assuming a situation, write a narrative that is detailed, showing insight and
originality of thoughts. However, a few candidates used a very informal style of writing; the
increase in Americanisms which at times suggests informal register with the use of
expressions such as „gonna‟, „wanna‟ was also observed in the scripts of the candidates. In
the essays, paragraphing should be focused and built around the development of a contestable
argument. If paragraphs are overly long and reach to well over a page, it may well be that the
line of reasoning is not as controlled as it could be in producing a response that is clear and
convincing.

Part a:

Write about a time when you tried to help someone but things did not go as per plan and you
ended up looking bad. Discuss the details of the following.

- Who were you trying to help?

- What went wrong?
- How did you handle the situation?

In better responses for Question 4 a, candidates:

 showed a clear understanding of the stimuli and the prompt. Most candidates chose first
person narration, though at times, third person narration was also observed. Most of the
high scoring responses presented interesting/ humorous/ sad situation where they had
good intentions and wanted to help someone; however, due to unfortunate/
uncontrollable/ unavoidable circumstances, they ended up looking bad. Mostly
candidates narrated events where they tried to help a friend in school or tried to help in
kitchen, which eventually ended in some bad choices/ results.

 displayed accurate use of subject-verb agreement, tenses and spellings.

 used appropriate vocabulary and connective devices.

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Example:

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In weaker responses for Question 4 a, the candidates:

 seemed confused; mostly they wrote about an incident where they helped someone.
However, they failed to address the requirement of the question completely. They did
not mention how they ended up looking bad/ or things did not go as planned. Hence,
such responses received limited reward.
 used clichés, slang and internet language (i.e. the short form of the words).
 wrote incorrect sentence structure with serious grammatical errors.
 used ineffective spelling and punctuation.

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Example:

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 Part b:
Time travel is the concept of movement by humans between certain points in time, analogous
to movement between different points in space, typically using a device known as a time
machine. Scientists and writers have been obsessed with the idea of time travel. Many people
have dreamed of visiting many different moments in history and some even dream of visiting
the future.

Imagine you have found a time machine and have decided to travel to some specific time in
the past or future. Write a narrative story about time travel. Your story should include:

 What time (country/ city/ year/ date/ event) you have decided to visit?
 What happened when you visited?
 Who else was there and in what ways were they different?

In better responses for Question 4 b, the candidates:

 showed a clear understanding of the stimuli. They presented interesting choices for time
travel, i.e. the era of Moen-jo-Daro/ Indus valley civilization and the ancient Egyptian
civilization were some popular choices. Some candidates mentioned that they would
prefer to visit their younger selves; some visited their future selves. The description of
people and places also showed effort and craft. A sustained story or narrative essay
showed coherence and attention to detail; a commendable feat.
 displayed accurate use of sentence structure, subject-verb agreement and tenses.
 used appropriate word choice and spelling.

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Example:

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In weaker responses for Question 4 b, the candidates:

 seemed less inclined towards making the effort required to answer this type of
question. Such responses indicated a generalised or superficial description of their time
travel experience. Ideas were redundant and unimaginative; the question was often
treated as a simple narration with everyday life/ common place happenings. The
register was informal and often, if not always, writing was not complete.
 expressed ideas clearly but the expression was plain or dull.
 wrote incorrect sentence structure with serious grammatical errors.
 used ineffective spellings and punctuation.

Example:

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Part c:

“School will never be the same now as Ms Saima has gone. I remember the first day I saw
her. She was carrying a pile of exercise books to the staff room...”

Write a narrative story on the given situation. Include the following in your story:

- Her appearance in detail

- Her impact on the students elaborated by an anecdote/ example

- Her qualities as a teacher

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Most candidates chose to attempt this question. In better responses for Question 4 c, the
candidates:
 chose to present vivid similes to describe Ms Saima‟s appearance in detail and her
qualities as a teacher. Mostly, candidates wrote 3 to 4 generalised points about the
impact she had. A better way would have been to quote an incident which gives insights
into the kind of impact she had. Most candidates who scored high marks catered
carefully to each bullet point of the prompt.
 began their narratives with an interesting anecdote/ quote/ experience.
 used appropriate vocabulary and connective devices.
 displayed accurate use of subject-verb agreement.
 used accurate spellings and punctuation.

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Example:

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In weaker responses for Question 4 c, the candidates:

 used random similes which did not enhance the expression and looked forced. The
expression was weak. In most cases, there were generalised details.
 lost marks for technical accuracy in writing. Basic errors in punctuation, grammar and
spelling undoubtedly tarnish the quality of the writing. The sequencing of ideas is
vital in this sort of prompt and random/ run-on sentences showed lack of attention to
detail and unplanned writing.
 wrote irrelevant examples and reasons which did not contribute to the development of
their prompt.
 used clichés, slang and internet language (i.e. the short form of the words).

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Example:

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