Aga Khan University Examination Board

Notes from E-Marking Centre on HSSC-II English Compulsory Examination May 2017

Introduction
This document has been produced for the teachers and candidates of Higher Secondary School
Certificate (HSSC-II) English Compulsory. It contains comments on candidates‟ responses to the
2017 HSSC-II Examination indicating the quality of the responses and highlighting their relative
strengths and weaknesses.

E-Marking Notes
This report includes overall comments on candidates‟ performance on every question and some
specific examples of candidates‟ responses which support the mentioned comments. Please note
that the descriptive comments represent an overall perception of the better and weaker responses
as gathered from the e-marking session. However, the candidates‟ responses shared (where
deemed necessary) in this document represent some specific example(s) of the mentioned
comments.

The following is a description of the tasks and skills required for fulfillment of those tasks.

Question No Question Type Skills Assessed

1 CRQs on a reading passage - Ability to understand a reading text on
(a,b,c,d) a literal level (main/ sub ideas)
- Ability to understand a reading text on
inferential level (opinions, evidence,
reasoning, cause and effect, reading
between the lines)

2 Cloze Passage - Ability to read and understand the

given text
- Ability to provide missing information
as per the context of a passage

3 and 4 Letter and Essay Writing - Ability to develop a formal piece of

(a,b,c) writing with appropriate focus,
organisation and purpose
- Ability to persuade, argue, reflect and
analyse familiar topics/ situations
- Ability to use accurate sentence
structure, connective devices,
spellings, etc.

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Teachers and candidates should be aware that examiners may ask questions that address the
Student Learning Outcomes (SLOs) in a manner that requires candidates to respond by integrating
knowledge, understanding and application skills they have developed by studying the course.

Candidates also need to know that the marks allocated to the question and the answer space
(which is provided on the examination paper), are a guide to the length of the required response.
A longer response will not in itself lead to higher marks. Writing far beyond the indicated space
may reduce the time available for answering other questions.

Candidates need to be familiar with the command words which contain some terms commonly
used in examination questions. However, candidates should also be aware that not all questions
will start with, or contain, any key word from the glossary. Questions such as „how?‟, „why?‟ or
„what?‟ may be asked, and verbs which are not included in the list may be used, such as
„elaborate‟, „analyse‟ or „state‟.

Note: Student responses reproduced in this report have not been corrected for grammar,
spelling or factual information.

Detailed Comments:

Question 1:

Question 1 was based on a reading passage. It had four sub-parts. Candidates were required to
understand the reading passage and accordingly answer the questions asked on various aspects of
the passage. The reading passage was an article, A Problem of Perception by The Daily DAWN.
The article highlighted the discrimination faced by individuals who have dwarfism elaborated its
adverse effects. The author attempted to persuade his readers to abandon that behaviour.

Part a:

What is the author‟s purpose in writing this article? Give TWO examples from the passage to
support your answer.

The question aimed to assess candidate‟s comprehension and evaluation skills.

In better responses candidates identified and explained the author‟s purpose reasonably well.
Many candidates identified the author‟s purpose as „persuasion‟, i.e. „to treat people with
dwarfism and by extension people with any physical deformity/ handicap/ problem with empathy/
sympathy/ care‟. Such candidates mentioned that the entire argument is built in persuasive style.
Some candidates identified the purpose as „to create awareness‟/ „to inform‟ and supported this by
explaining that the purpose is to mention the problems faced by people who have dwarfism. The
author says that equal opportunities and acceptance should be given to all because everyone has
the potential to do good/ achieve success in life given the right opportunities/ chances. Some
candidates did not write the terms „to persuade/ inform‟ and yet they gave descriptive comments
which presented similar ideas. Most candidates mentioned two of the following examples, i.e. of
Chief Justice Nasim Hasan Shah, Ali Arsalan and Mohammad Rizwan to support their answer.

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Example:

In weaker responses candidates seemed confused about the purpose of the entire text. Though
most candidates were able to give examples which demonstrate their understanding, yet they lost
marks in describing the author‟s purpose. Occasionally, candidates rephrased or copied the 1st
paragraph where a reference to Gulliver‟s Travels has been made. However, connection was not
made to explain the author‟s purpose. In some other cases, candidates mentioned that educated
individuals are deprived of jobs; they did not mention about dwarfism.

Example:

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 Part b:

Discuss TWO economic and TWO social problems faced by people who have dwarfism.

The question attempted to assess the skill of close-reading and tracking of textual details.

In most of the better responses, candidates mentioned any two economic: low income, lack of job
opportunities, and any two social problems: disrespectful behaviour/ social harassment/
considered to be jokers/ not given any importance.

However, it must be noted that the command word „discuss‟ which occurs in the question was
largely ignored by most candidates. Candidates merely mentioned and in some cases described
the problems. Hence, teachers should make students aware of the requirement of command
words.

Example:

Weaker responses displayed problems faced by people with dwarfism in a generalised way. Most
candidates wrote about poverty, or mentioned Ali Arsalan‟s example of not acquiring many jobs.
At times, candidates mentioned that government is responsible for discrimination against people
who have dwarfism. The approach lacked precision and exhibited superficiality.

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Example:

Part c:

You must have read or heard a few stories where dwarfs were presented as characters. What
is the difference between the way dwarfs are treated in fairy tales/ stories and real life?

The question aimed to assess the overall comprehension and probed thinking skills. The question
discriminated well between those who understood the author‟s perspective and can think and
create content on similar lines and those who struggled with it.

Candidates had to analyse the ways dwarfs are presented in fairy tales/ stories and how they are in
real-life situations (as witnessed through the passage). Most candidates gave a generalised
comparison without mentioning any specific fairy tale/ story. Most common answers were on the
lines that in fairy tales dwarfs are significant and in real-life situations they face a lot of
discrimination. Marks were awarded for viewpoint, analysis and freshness of insight. Some
responses highlighted that in theatres/ television people with dwarfism are shown as clowns and
they are rarely given any significant roles.

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Example:

In weaker responses, most candidates followed a superficial approach. At times, there was a
generalised comment about bad treatment faced by dwarfs. Occasionally, they copied a random
paragraph/ few sentences. Both of the cases show that candidates have not understood the
question.

Example:

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 Part d:

Summarise the passage in no more than 100 words

In better responses, candidates made use of statements like „The text states that…/ In the given
passage, the author…‟ which clearly helped is establishing the fact that they are summarising
someone else‟s writing in an objective manner. Such candidates showed the much-needed skill of
a) extracting the focal point/ main idea of the given text, and b) extracting/ selecting the important
points whilst recognising and eliminating the less important textual details. The language used
was precise and candidates were conscious of the word limit.

Example:

In weaker responses, candidates mentioned incorrect views, personal judgements, details and
examples, rather than objectively summarising what the author says, and hence exceeded the
word limit. Occasionally, only one example was elaborated. Hence, the mechanics of
summarising were ignored.

Example:

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 Part e:

Add TWO details from your personal experiences which support the message of this passage.

In better responses, candidates added two valid and relevant points to the passage. Those points
reflected the understanding of the candidates about the issues and problems faced by people with
dwarfism. The details added by candidates indicated the emotional/ psychological issues faced by
the victims of this discrimination, and the socially regressive nature of the act. Many candidates
linked their details with the last paragraph and some linked it with the overall idea of the passage.
The language used in many high-scoring responses was formal and though there were no marks
for language/ sentence structure, this aspect contributed to the logical flow of the written text and
expression. Candidates paraphrased some textual ideas and added at least one example from
personal experience.

Example:

In weaker responses, candidates wrote textual details without adding any point/ detail/ example or
experience. In a few cases, candidates mentioned irrelevant points like „they worked hard and
everyone else should do the same/ honesty is the best policy‟ etc. These points had no relevance
to the question. Occasionally, candidates mentioned a very general idea about why discrimination
is bad.

Example:

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 Question 2:

This question was a cloze passage. Candidates had to read the passage carefully and fill in the
missing words with respect to the situation, grammar and context.

Most candidates found this question challenging. Very few candidates scored full marks. It should
be communicated that whilst solving a cloze text, candidates must pay attention to the meaning
the passage is trying to convey. Gauging the central idea of the passage will help in inserting
appropriate words. The theme of the passage selected for cloze test was „it is important to value
heritage represented by the Indus Valley Civilization‟; this was indicated in the first line. In this
question, most responses had little bearing on the context of the passage. Though marking scheme
was relaxed to accommodate partially correct words, misspelled words/ and at times two words,
the performance indicates a need for focus and practice.

Better responses displayed appropriate use of words with respect to situation, grammar and
context in each of the given blanks. Thorough understanding of the context and meaning of the
passage is reflected in better responses.

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Example:

Weaker responses failed to provide appropriate words for most of the blanks. Such responses
demonstrated lack of knowledge of sentence structures and parts of speech. Some candidates were
inclined to supply articles and prepositions only as answers; this was unexpected. It indicated low
tendency to think about verbs; the attempt to gauge the meaning/ context of the passage was also
lacking.

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Example:

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Question 3:

The candidates were directed to write a résumé and letter on any of the two choices given. In their
preparation for the examination, candidates should know the mechanics of writing an effective
and a comprehensive résumé/ letter related to the details of the given prompt.

Part a:

You are interested in applying for a part-time job at a nearby library. Therefore, you have
decided to send your CV along with a covering letter to the Head Librarian.

Your covering letter must include the following details:

- Why you are a suitable candidate for this job

- What changes you would like to bring about in the library to facilitate booklovers

Your CV should have the following:

- A realistic account of your education

- Any possible work experience

- Personal details (real names/ school names should not be used)

- Hobbies and extracurricular activities

In better responses for question 3a, the candidates

 created a résumé/ CV with complete information (personal, educational and professional), and
used an appropriate format for résumé (having headings and bullets);
 wrote a covering letter mentioning reference to the advert, reasons for applying and personal/
professional summary. Required skill-set and abilities and relevant experiences were
highlighted effectively;
 mentioned the educational and professional summary in descending order when writing a
résumé
 used appropriate vocabulary to describe their suitability for the potential employment;
 showed command over language structures: grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc.

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Example:

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In weaker responses for question 3a, the candidates

 presented rote-learned resume‟; some candidates mentioned their qualification as Masters/

Bachelors etc. They failed to address the prompt which asked for the CV of a student of
intermediate;
 confused the report writing with letter writing: mostly such responses reflected lack of
knowledge about the format, purpose and style of report writing;
 used informal/ internet language;
 mentioned the content in a random manner; it seemed as if mind mapping or brain storming
was not done prior to writing;
 had many errors of grammar and spelling.

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 Part b:

Child labour is the practice of engaging children in economic activity, on part or full-time
basis. The practice deprives children of their childhood and is harmful to their physical and
mental development. Poverty, lack of good schools and large family structures are
considered as important causes of child labour.
Recently, an NGO, Human Rights Watch, organised a seminar in your school to highlight
the issue of child labour. They also announced that they would like to engage students in
awareness-raising programmes to eradicate child labour. You have decided to contribute to
this programme and have been given a task to compile a report on children working near
your home and school.
Lead In:

Compose a report on the cases of child labour that you have observed for the Programme
Manager of the Human Rights Watch. The report should mention the following.
- The places/ businesses which have employed children
- The age group of the employed children
- Suggested measures to improve the situation

In better responses for question 3b, the candidates

 addressed the prompt adequately by highlighting the issue of child labour in their
surroundings. The age group and condition of the employed children as well as the businesses
that employed them were mentioned. Better responses mentioned sub-headings and tried to
create a format to share findings, recommendations to improve the situation.
 presented accurate format of a report (To/ From/ sources of information/ findings or body/
recommendation or conclusion
 showed command over language structures: grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc.

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Example:

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In weaker responses for question 3b, the candidates
 presented many opinions and hence digressed from the objective format of a report;
 used incorrect language structures, spellings and grammar which made comprehension of the
written response very difficult.
 used incorrect format of a report. A few students were confused between the format of a letter
and report.

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Example:

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Question 4:

The candidates were directed to write an essay on any of the three choices given. Most candidates
chose to use the formal structure and concise and impersonal language. In their preparation for the
examination, candidates should know the mechanics of writing an effective and a comprehensive
essay using thesis statements and topic sentences. They should also be taught the significance of
having an introduction, body and conclusion within the essay.

In the examination, the candidates need to understand what has been directed and asked in the
prompt whether it is to describe or narrate, etc. Here the candidates were expected to use their
imagination and assume a situation, write a narrative that is detailed, showing insight and
originality of thoughts. In the essays, paragraphing should be focused and built around the
development of a contestable argument. If paragraphs are overly long and reach to well over a
page, it may well be that the line of reasoning is not as controlled as it could be in producing a
response that is clear and convincing.

Part a:

“Open merit allows universities to identify the best candidates and acknowledge their extra
efforts by preferring them over other candidates. Therefore, admission in colleges and
universities should be based exclusively on merit, not on quotas.”
Support OR negate the given statement with reasons and examples.

Most candidates chose to attempt this question and wrote relevant content.
In better responses for question 4 a, the candidates
 wrote purposeful content, which had just the right tone and register. High scoring answers
were mature, sensible and had a range of interesting ideas about supporting or negating the
prompt. Most candidates supported the open-merit system by citing evidences such as
prevalence of meritocracy, quality enhancement, production of better skill-set, desirable
workforce. Such responses (though few) reflected the defining ability of the high-scoring
candidates to relate the prompt with everyday life examples ˗ a much desirable skill. A few
candidates negated the statement and analysed how quota system is needed for the
underprivileged populace which has been at a disadvantage due to unequal opportunities;
candidates asserted (at times, very persuasively and through real-life examples) that in the
prevalent unequal socioeconomic conditions, open-merit system may further deny hope/
opportunity for the underprivileged class – a significant majority. Such an insight into the
socioeconomic conditions and the effort of connecting those insights with the prompt is
highly desirable, not only in exams but in real-life situations.
 organised information in paragraphs by the use of specific connectors;
 used appropriate sentence structure, tenses and subject-verb agreement;
 used simple but relevant vocabulary and correct spellings.

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Example:

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In weaker responses for question 4 a, the candidates
 mentioned reasons in support of the prompt but the ideas failed to make an impression due to
randomness of ideas, lack of organisation, repetition of ideas and run-on sentences.
 mentioned incomplete answers with serious and persistent errors.
 showed lack of knowledge of grammar: tenses and subject-verb agreement, spelling and word
choice.

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Example:

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 Part b:

Dairy farms breed cows and sell their milk. It has been observed that calves of dairy cows are
separated from their mothers within the first 24 hours of their birth. Thus, all the milk
produced by the cows enters the food market. The young calves are deprived of this milk and
fed on sub-standard products and growth-enhancing hormones which artificially accelerate
their growth. Similarly, when these calves become adults, their babies are separated from
them in order to maximise the extraction of milk. This results in maximum profits for the
farms because of increased sale of milk.

Write an analytical essay highlighting the mentioned issue. In your essay:

• Mention why separating young calves from their mothers is unethical

• Reasons of this practice
• How human beings are responsible for this situation
• What should be done to improve this situation

Most candidates chose to attempt this question. In better responses for question 4b, the candidates

 presented a well-articulated and well-reasoned stance stressing ethical standards and

criticising inhumane treatment of cows and calves, consumerism and commercialisation were
presented as lead causes behind greed; population control and organic means of farming were
suggested.
 used accurate sentence structure, tenses and subject-verb agreement. Whilst sentence
demarcation and issues with agreement or Standard English can be a problem for some, the
majority of candidates who scored high marks were able to use varied sentences;
 presented original ideas in a systematic manner.

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Example:

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In weaker responses for question 4b, the candidates:
 wrote generalised details about the importance of ethical treatment of animals/ cows but did
not give adequate reasons/ examples. Occasionally, the low-scoring answers reflected a
complete lack of understanding of the prompt; candidates wrote about why eating cows may
be unhealthy. This indicates a reliance on general knowledge and a lack of attempt to
understand the prompt.

 showed serious errors of spellings. The issue of technical accuracy is vital for writing and,
unfortunately, it was not uncommon to see scripts, littered with technical errors (many of
which were very basic - for example, their/there, too/to, where/were, etc.). Such errors were
surprising as some misspelled words were too basic;

 used informal or semi-formal style and incorrect word choice;

 showed lack of knowledge of grammar: tenses, sentence structure and subject-verb agreement.

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Example:

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 Part c:
Many educationists believe that testing children who are younger than 7 years is unethical. It
puts unnecessary pressure on children and makes their childhood devoid of fun. They believe
that formal tests should only be taken by those students who are more than 7 years of age. On
the other hand, many educationists think that tests make children more responsible and
attentive to learning from a young age.

Discuss your opinion regarding this issue. Support your opinion with appropriate reasons and
examples.

Question 4c appeared to be the second most popular choice after 4a. Whilst there was evidence
that some candidates selected words, phrases and language features appropriately and in context,
there were many who produced generalised responses.

In better responses for question 4c, the candidates

 mentioned their viewpoint (which was against testing before 7 years in most cases); increased
stress, negativity, competitiveness instead of camaraderie between peers, race for marks, lack
of joy/ love for learning were some commonly cited reasons;
 presented a well-formed conclusion where all main points were summarised or a memorable
expression was given;
 organised information in paragraphs and mentioned one idea in each paragraph;
 used grammar: tenses and subject-verb agreement appropriately.

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Example:

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In weaker responses for question 4c, the candidates
 highlighted the role of tests in a young child‟s life but did not discuss the impact in detail;
 showed lack of knowledge of spellings and grammar: tenses and subject-verb agreement.

Example:

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