Grief and Loss

Coping with the death of a loved one

“Grief never ends, but it changes. It’s a passage, not a

place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack
of faith. Grief is the price of love.” - Author Unknown

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“The hardest part of losing
someone isn’t having to say
goodbye, but rather learning to
live without them. Always trying
to fill the void, the emptiness that’s
left inside your heart when they
go.” –Author Unknown
If you are reading this guide, someone dear to you has
died. We would like to express our deepest sympathy to
you, as well as anyone else who is experiencing the pain of
grief during this difficult time.

We know that each person grieves differently.

The information in this guide is intended to be
comprehensive, though not necessarily in order. You may
find that looking into different topics, or sections in your
own order will be most beneficial for you. Perhaps a place
to start is to scan the table of contents to see what seems
most useful and helpful for you right now. As your
experiences or questions change, you may keep coming
back to the guide for suggestions or assistance.

It is our sincere hope that you will find this guide to

be a helpful and reassuring companion as you move toward
incorporating the loss and memories of your loved one in
your daily life. Please know you are not alone on this journey,
and we are here for you as you take the steps of moving
through this difficult time. Believe it or not, it is a good sign
that you are taking these steps to acknowledge and process
your own grief.

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In addition to the others who are assisting you, please also
consider the University of Michigan Rogel Cancer Center’s
Grief and Loss Program a resource. Please visit the website
at www.rogelcancercenter.org/support/managing-
emotions/grief-and-loss-program

Warmest Regards,
University of Michigan Rogel Cancer Center
Patient and Family Support Services

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Table of Contents

What to Expect 5

What is grief? 6

What are common responses and signs of grief? 8

What is complicated grief? 9

What is clinical depression? 10

How to seek professional help 12

The roles of professionals 13

Coping with Grief 16

Techniques for coping with grief 17

Helping Children Cope with Grief 19

22

23

25

Honoring the Memory of Your Loved One 26

Financial Matters 28

Additional Resources 35

Summary 38

Notes 39

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What to Expect

5
What is grief?
Grief is defined as “deep sorrow, especially that
caused by someone’s death.” Grief is a natural
response to death and sometimes involves strong,
even overwhelming, feelings and deep emotions.

What does grief look

like?
As already mentioned, each
person grieves differently
so there is not a typical look
to grief. Our individual grief
response is influenced by
many factors, such as the depth of the relationship
we had with the person who died, as well as other
experiences of grief, especially if they are recent.
How we grieve depends a lot on what was taught and
modeled to us by our caregivers and other older
adults in earlier life. In addition, there are cultural,
social and spiritual beliefs that may influence how
we grieve.

Grief is not a linear process. It involves coping with

sometimes difficult emotions, including anger or
tears (or both), that can happen at inconvenient times
and in surprising ways. Initially you may be in shock
over the death and along with this simply feel numb
and unable to express any emotions. Denial can also
be a part of the experience of grief as the reality of
the death only gradually settles in. There may be

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days when you feel like you are “going crazy,” like
nothing makes sense; you can’t get organized; you
can’t stop crying; you are forgetful; you are always
tired; you don’t feel like getting out of bed. It could
be all of these, none of these, a combination of these,
or other feelings that are completely new to you.

This is not meant to be a comprehensive list of what

you may experience in your grief, but will hopefully
validate some of what you have already experienced.
It is our hope that this will help you further explore
your grief and intentionally work towards healing,
even if you don’t want to or don't believe it is
possible.

Additional reference materials are listed at the end of

this booklet. Along with those, you might try your
own web search for books on grief and decide for
yourself what might be most helpful based on the
book previews as well as reviews.

The key is to recognize your grief for what it is and

to be patient with yourself as you move through this
difficult time. The saying that time heals is true and
you will eventually find life returning to some sense of
normal. By intentionally addressing the aspects of
grief, you will realize a more integrated healing.

Grief does not have a specific time frame and it

certainly doesn’t stop when the funeral is over. Some
of the deepest period of grief occurs weeks after the
person has died, as the reality of the death settles into

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our everyday life and we adjust to life without this
person. Experiencing a deep sense of loss and the
associated emotions can sometimes last for months
or even longer. However, you should notice a gradual,
ever so slight, improvement as time passes. Again, be
patient with yourself, and remember to check in with
those you trust and/or professionals if it seems that
your grief is going on too long or if it is complicated
by other factors.

What are the common responses and

signs of grief?
•• Shock •• Sadness

•• Disbelief •• Loneliness

•• Anger •• Heartbreak

•• Fear •• Exhaustion

•• Guilt •• Feeling overwhelmed

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•• Relief •• Blame

•• Shame •• Irritability

What physical symptoms can also appear

along with emotions?
• Insomnia • Increased anxiety or
panic attacks
• Aches and pains
• Dreams of the
• Fatigue
deceased
• Flair up of chronic
• Hallucinations (in
illnesses
which you briefly hear
• Weight gain or weight or see the deceased)
loss

• Decreased immune
system

What is complicated grief?

Sometimes people get stuck in an intense state of
mourning or continue to be extremely overwhelmed
by their grief. This is called complicated grief. As
mentioned earlier, grief can also be complicated by the
experience of multiple deaths in a short period of time.
In addition to these, not having adequately grieved
another significant death or loss may complicate the

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current experience of grief. Complicated grief can inhibit
someone from resuming their normal life, undermine
other relationships or affect us in other ways. A person
experiencing complicated grief can have difficulty
accepting the fact that their loved one has died and may
become preoccupied with the person who died.

What are the signs of complicated grief?

• Not accepting or denying that a loved one has died.
• Preoccupation with the person who passed away.
• Avoiding things that make you think of the
deceased loved one.
• Extreme anger over the loved one’s death or
blaming yourself for their death.
• Feeling like life is meaningless or empty without
the loved one.
• Feeling like recovering from the loss is
impossible or having no desire to do so long
after the person has died.
• Wishing to die to be with the loved one.

What is clinical depression?

Even though grief is a process that ebbs and flows,
some people will experience symptoms that can be
signs of clinical depression. This type of depression
has symptoms that are persistent and constant over
the period of several weeks or months, even though a
significant amount of time has passed since the death.

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What are the signs of clinical depression?

• Feelings of • Irritability
worthlessness,
• Restlessness
helplessness
• No interest in social or
• Extreme and constant
once enjoyable activities
sadness
• Inability to function in
• Excessive or
daily life
inappropriate guilt

• Recurrent thoughts
of death or suicide, or
suicide attempt

It is important to learn to recognize the signs of

complicated grief and clinical depression and be honest
with yourself in order to get appropriate help in a
timely manner.

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How to seek professional help when
concerned about complicated grief or
depression
Seeking professional help from a therapist or a
counselor can be overwhelming, intimidating, and a
source of embarrassment or feelings of shame. This is
not only because of the stigma attached to it, but
because we so often feel as though we need to -- or
should be able to -- do it on our own. However, seeking
professional help can also be one of the best things you
can do for yourself during this difficult time. The vast
majority of those who seek treatment find it to be very
effective. It often leaves people wondering, “Why didn’t
I do this sooner?” A professional will help you assess
your experiences and situation and will make
suggestions about what to try, including psychotherapy
or medications, or perhaps a combination of the two.

How to get started

Once you have decided, or are encouraged by another
trusted individual to seek help, you will need to find a
professional counselor or therapist.
If you have private insurance: The best place to start is
to call the phone number on the back of your insurance
card. After describing the service you are looking for,
the representative should be able to provide you with
the names and contact information for agencies or
private practices that are convenient to you and who
accept your insurance. You may want to explore the

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provider’s web site to get additional information along
with increasing your comfort level with your final choice.
Once you have decided on a specific provider, make the
call to set up your first meeting.

If you have Medicaid or Medicare: Community mental

health service programs will accept this type of insurance.
You can find an agency by going to: www.michigan.gov/
mdhhs and searching for free or low-cost mental health
care. After choosing one, call the number to set up your
first meeting.

Note: How to access mental health care will vary

depending on the state where you reside.

If you do not have insurance: Some agencies will work

with people who do not have insurance or cannot
afford treatment. Community health centers and
various agencies will work on a sliding scale fee, which
means you pay what you can afford based on your
income.

The roles of professionals

There are many kinds of mental health professionals
and it can sometimes be confusing to know what each
mental health professional does. Below is a brief
description of the choices you may have:
• Psychiatrist (M.D. or D.O.): A doctor of medicine or
a doctor of osteopathic medicine with specialized
training in the diagnosis and treatment of mental
and emotional disorders. A psychiatrist’s primary
focus is on prescribing and managing medication.

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 Generally, they do not provide counseling, but many
times work in conjunction with another practitioner
who does.

• Clinical Psychologist (Psy.D., Ph.D., Ed.D.): Holds

a doctoral degree in psychology, philosophy, or
education with a focus in therapeutic techniques. A
psychologist is trained to diagnose and to provide
individual and group therapy. Psychologists can
also have a master’s degree (MA, MS, LGPC, LPC) in
psychology or counseling and are trained in a range
of therapeutic practices.

• Clinical Social Worker (LMSW, MSW, LCSW, LGSW,

LSW): A therapist or counselor with a master’s
degree in social work. A social worker is trained to
diagnose and provide individual and group
therapy, case management and advocacy.

• Pastoral Counselor (MA, CCPT, CpastC, NCPC):

Holds a master’s degree in pastoral counseling or
therapy with an emphasis in theology, spiritual
counseling, and pastoral care/chaplaincy. If religion
or spirituality is important to you, or if existential
questions are a significant part of your experience,
help from a trained religious/spiritual professional
may be a wonderful resource as you grieve. If you
do not already have a religious/spiritual leader that
you would consider contacting, we may be able to
assist you in finding one in your area. Oftentimes
this is used to compliment the expertise of the
other professionals mentioned above.

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• Art Therapist (BC-ATR): A board-certified art therapist
has a master’s degree in art therapy. An art therapist is
trained in using art when words are too painful to
express.

• Music Therapist (MT-BC): Credentialed professional

who develops individualized treatment and
supportive interventions for people of all ages and
ability levels to address their needs through music.

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Coping with Grief

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No two people – even family members – cope with
death in the same way. You shouldn’t feel like you
need to “get over it” in a certain amount of time. Be
patient with yourself and grieve in your own time
frame, not someone else’s. You also do not need to
grieve the way others do or how they tell you to
grieve. The fact is we never truly get over the death
of someone we loved and their memory will be with
us forever. Believe it or not, the pain and depth of
emotions will subside, healing will happen and we do
learn to live life without the person’s physical
presence.

Mourning the death of a loved one may take a

long time, but it can be a catalyst for growth and a
renewed sense of meaning, offering direction and
purpose in life.

Techniques for coping with grief

• Give yourself permission and time to grieve.
This includes permission to cry…tears are a
natural response to a death, so don’t allow anyone
to tell you that you shouldn’t! By sharing your
tears, you may give someone else permission to
cry.

• Let others help you. It is okay to ask for help,

even professional help, when you need it.

• Reach out and help others deal with loss (when the
timing is right). Helping others has the added

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 benefit of making you feel better as well. You may
find it helpful to share your story and hear other
people’s stories.

• Discuss your feelings with someone you trust,

whether it is a family member, a co-worker, a
friend, a professional counselor or a religious/
spiritual leader.

• Take care of yourself and your family. Eat well,

exercise and rest when needed. Grief is very tiring.
You’ll need your strength to help get though each
day and move forward.

• Establish a routine. Maintaining a routine can help

you focus on what needs to be done. This can also
help reduce anxiety by giving you an idea of what
to expect out of your day.

• Explore different ways to express your feelings.

Write in a journal about your day, reflect on your
feelings or describe memories. Write a letter to the
one who died and re-write it as needed, even
though it is something you will never mail. Take
up a hobby, join a support group, use art as a form
of self-expression, practice meditation, yoga or tai
chi, guided imagery, pray, listen to music, write
music or poetry, spend time in nature, and/or
attend religious services.

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Helping Children
Cope with Grief

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Children follow the cues around them and model how
adults grieve. Providing a supportive environment
where parents and caregivers openly show emotions,
talk about their grief and express their frustration
can help children understand that it is okay for them
to feel the way they do. Mourning as a family gives
children a sense of security and provides an outlet
for their feelings.

Try to keep in mind that children cannot carry the

same burden or pain as an adult. Balance the sharing
of sad feelings with more pleasant activities. Be sure
to let your children know how much they are loved
and valued; reassure them that someone will always
be there for them.

How to help
• Set a time to explain what happened. If you feel
it’s necessary, ask a trusted friend or family
member to assist you with the conversation. Make
sure you agree on the approach and what will be
said. Do not be afraid of emotions and sharing
tears. Again, you are modeling grief for the
children. Be honest and give accurate, age-
appropriate information. Remember, it may be
necessary to have separate conversations with
different aged children. Take time to listen to the
child’s response and any fears they may have.
Help them understand death is a normal part of
life. You can use this time to discuss your beliefs
about what happens after death.

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• It is OK for your children to see you cry. Crying
together can be good for all of you.

• Use simple and direct terms to describe the

situation to young children. Relate the situation
to something they understand or use examples
your child can see. Allow them to speak openly
and share their feelings about what happened.

• When you speak about death, refer to it as

“death.” Don’t use terms that can be confusing or
equate it with sleeping or sickness. Make sure
your child understands that the person died
because his or her body stopped working. If the
person died from an illness which involved a
recent hospitalization, it is important the children
not equate going to the hospital with death. Be
sure to emphasize the seriousness of the illness.

• Don’t exclude children from the funeral. Explain

what takes place at a funeral and ask whether they
want to participate. Ask them what they would
like to do or offer suggestions; have a back-up
plan in case they are too emotional to participate.
Encourage them to attend, but do not force them.
Allow for questions and discussion. Funerals can
offer an opportunity for children to say goodbye
and to help foster a sense of control that is often
lacking after the death of a loved one.

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• Disarm fears and guilt: Death is nobody’s
fault. Talk to your children about this directly to
make sure they are not feeling unspoken guilt.
Research suggests that kids often feel like they did
something to cause the death, so make it clear that
they did not.

• Gather memories together. Talk together about

the good times. Consider having your child write a
letter or draw a picture to help say goodbye. Give
your child a picture or a memento.

• Stick to routines. Routines foster a sense of

security and consistency for children. Regular
morning or evening rituals, such as eating
breakfast together or reading a book, will provide
stability for your children.

For young children

Although it is tempting to shelter young children
from the pain of grieving, it can be even harder to
recover emotionally if the death is not explained.
Children may ask a lot of questions about the loved
one’s dying or death in general. Let them know that
you will help them find answers, even though no one
fully understands death. Consider asking your child
to repeat your answers back to you so you are clear
about their understandings. They may repeat some
of their questions, and you will have to explain the
finality of death.

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Things to consider doing
• Seek out local grief groups for kids of all ages.

• Encourage drawing to express their feelings.

• Purchase grief books targeted to different

developmental levels of children – some are read-
along, some are individual workbooks, etc. Find the
right resources for your children.

• Remind children that feelings about grief don’t

happen in a certain order and there are many
feelings that they may have, such as anger, fear,
guilt or sadness. Reassure them that these feelings
are normal. Remember, children do not express
feelings the same way an adult does, so they grieve
differently as well.

• Keep pictures and mementos of the deceased in

the house or in a special place for children.
Removing references of the loved one will not
make it easier for anyone to grieve and may even
create confusion, especially for the children.

For older children and teenagers

Teenagers are already working through the changes of
adolescence. The way teenagers grieve and the support
they need depends on their emotional and physical
maturity, past experiences, and family dynamics. Keep
these tips in mind to help your teenager get through
this difficult time.

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• Be sensitive to challenges your children already
face. Puberty and hormonal changes can influence
a teenager’s perception of a stressful event.

• Address concerns your children have about how

the household will continue to function. Talk as a
family about how roles may change within a
family. This is especially important if a parent
dies.

• Don’t try to direct grief. Teenagers tend to

respond better to adults who choose to be
companions in their grief. Be aware of your own
issues and get help for yourself or your teen if it’s
needed.

• Don’t forget children away at college. Children at

college may feel very alone after a death in the
family. Keep in close contact to provide support
while your kids are away at school. Encourage
them to seek out campus counseling or support
groups offered by their college or university for
additional help.

• Keep talking. Give your kids plenty of opportunities

to talk about how they feel. Bereavement can be
a stressful time and may cause past conflicts to
flare. It’s crucial to talk about shared losses and to
support each other.

• Be aware of risk-taking behaviors. Teens may start

to think more about their own mortality.

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Additional support for children and teens
Children and teens can suffer from complicated grief,
too. They may develop serious problems after the
death of a loved one. Like adults, they may require
professional help and may need someone they trust to
suggest they seek counseling.

What are signs that a child or a teenager

is having serious problems?
• Extreme and prolonged anger and acting out
behaviors.

• Loss of interest in daily activities and friends.

• Inability to sleep, loss of appetite, prolonged fear

of being alone.

• Acting much younger for an extended period of

time.

• Excessively imitating the deceased.

• Repeated statements of wanting to join the

deceased.

• Drop in school performance or refusal to attend.

• Long-term denial of death or avoidance of grief.

• Experimentation with drugs and alcohol.

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Honoring the
Memory of
Your Loved
One

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Finding ways to hold the memory of your loved one
close to you is important. The anniversaries, birthdays
and other significant days can be difficult, but some
families find comfort in planning for those special
days. Also consider using the suggestions below for
various times throughout the year, even if it is just a
day when you particularly miss the person who died.

Examples to honor your loved one’s

memory
• Do an activity that you and your loved one enjoyed.
• Visit their gravesite and place cards, flowers and/or
mementos.
• Burn a special candle to acknowledge your loved
one’s absence.

• Plant a tree, a garden or flowers.

• Create a unique art piece by painting a picture,
making a craft and/or decorating a memory vessel.

• Let balloons go on your loved one’s birthday.

• Honor your loved one at a religious service.

• Set a place at the table during meals for the one
who died, especially for holidays and special family
celebrations.
• Keep pictures displayed and watch family videos
when needed.
• Create a memory box to store cards, pictures, and
mementos from your loved one.

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Financial Matters

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The initial hours and days after the death of a loved
one will be hectic and confusing. During this difficult
time, it’s important to gather around you the people
you trust to help manage the details. Funeral directors
are a valuable resource for information; by law, they
cannot charge a fee for information services. Learn
what options are available to you for cemetaries,
memorial services or anatomical donation. Use this
information to decide what’s best for you and your
family.

The information in this guide is intended to help you

through the potential financial matters that may require
your attention following a family member’s death. Not
everything in this section will apply to your situation,
but it may help assist with future planning. Although
it can be difficult to focus on these matters, it may be
helpful to ask a trusted friend or family member to
assist you with these details.

Within the first days

• Locate a copy of the will. The will usually names
the executor or the person responsible for carrying
out the terms of the will. If no executor is named or
a will is not available, it is best to seek legal counsel.

• Look for a letter of instruction from the person

who passed away. This is sometimes kept with the
will.

• Look for records of funeral arrangements.

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• Obtain death certificates from your funeral
director or county health department. You will
need as many as 12 certified copies which can be
ordered from the county clerk’s office. A certified
death certificate may be required when you apply for
benefits.

• Locate a cemetery plot deed(s) that may have been

purchased.

• Locate any safety deposit boxes and keys.

• If your loved one was a veteran, locate any

Veteran Administration paperwork including
discharge papers, benefit information and claim
numbers. There may be some financial assistance
with funeral, burial plot or other death benefits.

• Financial assistance with burial services. If the

deceased resided in the State of Michigan and their
estate is not enough to cover burial services, you
can apply for assistance through the Michigan
Department of Health and Human Services, no later
than 10 days after the burial takes place.

Within the first month

• Contact a lawyer or accountant if you think you
will need help with the financial or legal aspects of
settling the estate.

• Determine whether probate is necessary for

dealing with the estate. Probate procedures can be
complex depending on the size of the estate and the

30
 claims against it. An attorney may be helpful in this
situation.

• Locate important papers and certificates,

including:

◊ Trust papers.

◊ Birth certificates of the deceased, spouse and

dependents. These are available at either the
state or county public records offices where the
deceased was born.

◊ Marriage certificate. This is available at the

county clerk where the marriage license was
issued.

◊ Social security numbers of the deceased, spouse

and dependents. Contact your local Social
Security office to find out if you are eligible for
new benefits. Social Security benefits are not
automatically paid out after death. You must
apply for them.

◊ Armed service discharge papers.

◊ Divorce/Separation papers.

◊ Driver’s license number.

◊ Bank/credit union statements and account

numbers for savings/checking account(s).

◊ Tax and W-2 statements from previous years.

◊ Credit card statements and account numbers.

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• Locate insurance and benefit documents,
including:

◊ Medical insurance papers and policy number(s).

◊ Life insurance papers and policy number(s).

◊ Car insurance papers and policy number(s).

◊ Car title(s) and car registration certificate(s).

◊ Homeowner’s or renter’s insurance policy

number(s).

◊ Make a list of assets: property or real estate

deed(s), mortgage papers, retirement funds or
annuity papers, other pension funds, IRA’s,
Keoughs, stock and/or bond certificates and
statements, and appraisal papers for valuables.

◊ Labor union, fraternal or professional

organization benefit papers, Veterans Affairs
benefits and claim numbers.

• Write a formal letter to your loved one's employer,

union or any other professional organizations. Many
of these organizations have insurance policies from
which you may receive benefits. Organizations may
need a statement of claim and a death certificate
before a surviving spouse can receive benefits.

• Notify insurance companies in writing of his or her

death.

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• Inquire about any 401(k), pension or company
stock benefits. Change name on stocks and bonds.

• Notify Medicare/Medicaid of the death and change

in status.

• Arrange for family medical benefits to continue.

• Consolidate or close bank and credit union

accounts.

• Change or cancel services.

◊ Cancel loved one’s driver’s license.

◊ Stop newspaper, online subscriptions, and

magazine subscriptions.

◊ Contact utility companies to change or discontinue

service.

◊ Contact U.S. Postal Service, if necessary, to forward

mail.

◊ Contact phone, cable and internet providers to

change or disconnect services.

Within the first six months

• Handling social media accounts.

◊ Each social media website has its own rules for

dealing with death. Some may require forms to
be completed on-line, proof of the death, and/or
proof that you are the user’s lawful
representative.

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 ◊ Don’t ignore the account or log into the
deceased's account yourself (this could be
considered a violation of the social media’s terms
of use and it could also be against the law).

◊ Once documentation is provided, the social media

account can be deleted or turned into a
“memorial” account.

• Obtain all hospital and medical bills incurred and

file insurance papers that have not been filed by
the hospital and doctors.

• Locate loan papers and account numbers for

outstanding loans and those owed to the deceased.

• See a tax accountant or tax lawyer. You will

need to file tax returns for the person who died. In
many cases, federal law requires that an estate tax
return be filed within nine months of the death.
Since tax laws are always being revised, it is
important to seek out expert advice to determine
your full tax liability.

Within the first year

• If you are the surviving spouse, determine your
annual income, consisting of your salary,
benefits and income-producing assets. This will
also include investments and savings.

• Create an annual budget.

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Additional Resources
American Cancer Society
800-227-2345
www.cancer.org

Compassion Books
1-800-970-4220
www.compassionbooks.com
Books, audios, and videos to help children and adults
through serious illness, death and dying, grief, and
bereavement.

Compassionate Friends
National Office
1-877-969-0010
www.compassionatefriends.org
Assists families following the death of a child of any age.

Cancer Care
1-800-813-4673
www.cancercare.org
Provides support and resources for people who have
experienced the loss of a loved one.

Cancer.Net
www.cancer.net
Information about grief and loss.

GriefNet
www.griefnet.org
An internet community of people dealing with grief,
death and major loss.

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National Cancer Institute
1-800-4-CANCER
www.cancer.gov
Information about cancer, grief, and bereavement.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255
Crisis line for individuals contemplating suicide.

Online Grief Support - A Social Community.

www.onlinegriefsupport.com
Social Security Information
1-800-772-1213
www.socialsecurity.gov
United Way 211
www.211.org
Free and confidential service that helps people across
North America find the local resources.

University of Michigan Rogel Cancer Center Grief

and Loss Program
www.rogelcancercenter.org/support/grief_loss.shtml
This program provides information regarding grief
and loss resources and referrals.

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Children
Ele’s Place
www.elesplace.org
Healing center for grieving children and teens. Four
branch locations support families throughout the
Ann Arbor, Grand Rapids, Flint and Lansing areas.

Gilda’s Club
www2.gildasclubdetroit.org
A free support community for men, women and
children living with any type of cancer, their families
and friends.

Children’s Grief Center of the Great Lakes Bay Region

www.childrensgriefglbr.org
The mission of the Children’s Grief Center is to
provide a healing environment for children, teens and
their families grieving a death.

Dougy Center
www.dougy.org
The Dougy Center provides support in a safe place
where children, teens, young adults, and their
families grieving a death can share their experiences.

Financial
Burial Services
Michigan Department of Health & Human Services
www.michigan.gov

37
Summary
We hope that you found this guide helpful, whether
your grief is still very new or whether you’ve had
some time to heal. Be patient with yourself as some
days will be better than others.

We would like to again express our deepest

sympathy as you go through this difficult time.
Remember that there is no right or wrong way to
grieve. Please make sure you give yourself
permission to grieve in the way that comes naturally
and is best for you.

Sincerely,
University of Michigan Rogel Cancer Center
Patient and Family Support Services

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,

and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for
that which has been your delight.
- Kahlil Gibran

38
Notes

39
Executive Officers of Michigan Medicine: Marschall S. Runge, M.D., Ph.D., executive vice president for medical
affairs, dean, University of Michigan Medical School, CEO, Michigan Medicine; David A. Spahlinger, M.D.,
president, UMHS, and executive vice dean for clinical affairs, University of Michigan Medical School; Patricia D.
Hurn, Ph.D., dean, School of Nursing.

Regents of the University of Michigan: Jordan B. Acker, Michael J. Behm, Mark J. Bernstein, Paul W. Brown,
Shauna Ryder Diggs, Denise Ilitch, Ron Weiser, Katherine E. White, Mark S. Schlissel (ex officio).

The University of Michigan, as an equal opportunity/affirmative action employer, complies with all applicable
federal and state laws regarding nondiscrimination and affirmative action. The University of Michigan is
committed to a policy of equal opportunity for all persons and does not discriminate on the basis of race,
color, national origin, age, marital status, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, disability,
religion, height, weight, or veteran status in employment, educational programs and activities, and admissions.
Inquiries or complaints may be addressed to the Senior Director for Institutional Equity, and Title IX/Section
504/ADA Coordinator, Office for Institutional Equity, 2072 Administrative Services Building, Ann Arbor,
Michigan 48109-1432, 734-763-0235, TTY 734-647-1388, [email protected]. For other University
of Michigan information call 734-764-1817.

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