Ticket Id: 152536

Dr June Windslow
Oncologist
Newtown Hospital
613 Main Street
Newtown

30 August 2019

Dear Dr Windslow,
RE: Mrs May Paloma (DOB: 11/04/1993) Commented [P1]: Use of brackets is informal.
Commented [P2]: 29/11/1988
I am writing to request a medications review for your patient, Mrs May Paloma, who is currently Commented [P3]: Write the full name with title
undergoing chemotherapy and radiotherapy for breast cancer under your supervision. for an adult in the introduction.
Commented [P4]: and may be at risk for drug
Mrs Paloma came today to get her new medication dispensed, Unisom Sleepgels 50mg, however, I interaction.
noticed that there was an interaction with Serepax 15mg. Mrs Paloma stated that as Serepax wasn´t Commented [P5]: She
working, she decided to contact her GP, but never mentioned the use of Serepax during the consultation. Commented [P6]: was not
For this reason, her GP prescribed Unisom. Use of contractions is informal.
Commented [P7]: her
I believe Unisom might not be the best option for Mrs Paloma, considering that Serepax didn’t help her.
In addition, these two medicines interact as mentioned before, increasing the likelihood of experiencing Commented [P8]: It may possibly
dizziness, drowsiness and confusion. Commented [P9]: with Serepax and increase

I would like to mention that Unisom hasn’t been dispensed as a precautionary measure for Mrs Paloma. Commented [P10]: has not
Thank you for seeing Mrs Paloma. Commented [P11]: It would be appreciated if you
could check her medications
Please do not hesitate to contact me, should you require further information.

Yours sincerely
Pharmacist

Report
Word Length 135
Comments The purpose of the letter is apparent but not sufficiently expanded.
The content is appropriate but does not provide sufficient
information. The length does not meet the required format. The
style is less formal in places, and a complimentary close is missing.
Organisation and paragraphing are logical. It has random errors
related to sentence structures.
Overall, further improvements are needed.
Estimated Grade C
Estimated Score 290 /500
Advice 1. Always read and select case notes carefully.
2. Avoid basic grammar errors.
3. Pay attention to sentence structures.
4. Write a complimentary close.
5. Try to finish the letter in 200 words by writing information in
brief wherever possible. Watch this video on word length:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyaIEjPv6Ag
6. Always proofread the letter after finishing it.

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