Memento Mori November 2022

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MEMENTO MORI

T H E O F F I C I A L P U B L I C AT I O N O F T H E I C C F A NOVEMBER 2022

Water vs. Fire


Expanding Cremation Options

INSIDE:
– The Aquamation Option
– Serving Cremation Clients
– Keywords & Taglines
– Preparing for Winter
– LGBTQIA+ Issues
– Risk Mitigation
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CONTENTS
VOLUME 82 | NUMBER 9 NOVEMBER 2022

18 18 The Smallest Stone


The Ripple Effect of Aquamation and Its Increasing Popularity
by Amanda Marie Eilis King, CFSP

24 When Opportunity Knocks, Be Prepared


Ask the Right Questions, Get the Right Answers
by John T. McQueen, CFSP

24 30 Nailed It!
What a Great Tagline Can Do for Your Funeral Business
by Rolf Gutknecht

34 To Get Ahead, You Need to Cheat


Keywords Are Your Cheat Sheet for Search Engines
by Welton Hong

38 The ‘Art’ of the Grave


Mount Auburn Celebrates the Work of John D. Woolf
by Melissa Banta

30 42 The Many Burials of John Wilkes Booth


Baltimore Native and Assassin Finally Laid to Rest in Family
Plot
by Todd Van Beck, CFuE

48 Prose for the Quietus of Life


Inside Our Dreams
by Jeanne Willis

34 38 42

2 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


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MEMENTO MORI
VOL. 82 | N0. 9 NOVEMBER 2022 DEPARTMENTS
ICCFA Officers DEPARTMENTS

PRESIDENT ADOPTING A PARADIGM SHIFT (PART 3 OF 3) ���������������������������������������������������������������������� 6


Gary M. Freytag, CCFE Inspire Deeper Meaning in the Heart of Your Organization
PRESIDENT-ELECT
by C. Lynn Gibson, CFSP, CCO
Robbie L. Pape ABOVE GROUND������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 10
VICE PRESIDENT, EDUCATION Winterizing Cemetery Trees and Landscape
John Bolton, CCE, CCrE, CSE, CXE by Zach McGinnis
VICE PRESIDENT, MEMBERSHIP & MARKETING CEMETERY IMPOSSIBLE �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������12
Shawna de la Cruz Should Your Master Plan Include a Natural Burial Area?
VICE PRESIDENT, INTERNAL AFFAIRS by Daniel M. Isard, MSFS
Mitch Rose, CCFE, CCrE
CEMETERY MANAGEMENT �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������14
VICE PRESIDENT, EXTERNAL AFFAIRS Risk Mitigation for Cemeteries Filling Calendars
Lee Longino by Domenic Antinucci, CPCU
TREASURER
DID YOU KNOW��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������50
Christopher Keller
Celebrities Who Died in November
SECRETARY
Stacy Adams INDUSTRY DEVELOPMENTS������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 52
Affirming LGBTQIA+ People During the Funeral Process
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
by Marc Markell
Nadira Baddeliyanage
BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 56
GENERAL COUNSEL
Poul Lemasters, Esq. Virtual Pet Memorialization
[email protected] by Cory Stephens
MEMBER NEWS���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 58
Magazine Staff Cast Bronzes from the World War I Memorial���������������������������������������������������������������� 58
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Creating a Monument for Mount Auburn’s First Armenian Resident ������������������������ 59
Tatia L. Gordon-Troy, Esq.
[email protected] | 571.323.2983, ext. 1222 Flanner Buchanan Opens New Funeral and Event Center ��������������������������������������������60

SUPPLIER RELATIONS MANAGER


The Gardens of Gethsemane Celebrates Nature’s Summer in 2022 ����������������������������60
Rick Platter Larkin Tournament Raises $15,000 for ‘This Is The Place’ Foundation���������������������� 62
[email protected] | 800.645.7700, ext. 1213
JCG Memorial Classic Reaches $1 Million in All-Time Donations������������������������������ 63
COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER
Katherine Devins ICCFA NEWS �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 74
[email protected] | 800.645.7700, ext. 1218 Membership Benefit: ASPCA Discounts�������������������������������������������������������������������������� 74
MARKETING & COMMUNICATIONS COORDINATOR
Save Money on Music & Webcasting Licenses Before February 1�������������������������������� 74
Maddy Collins Catch up on the PLPA Webinar Series! ���������������������������������������������������������������������������� 75
[email protected] | 800.645.7700, ext. 1215
Welcome New ICCFA Members ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 75
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR AND PUBLISHER
Catch Up on the ICCFA Webinar Series Before the New Year! ������������������������������������ 76
Nadira Baddeliyanage
[email protected] | 800.645.7700, ext. 1215 Rocky’s Got Nothing on Me! by Taylor Murray���������������������������������������������������������������� 77
DESIGN & PRODUCTION Attend DEAD Talks 2023 and Learn the Right Way to Have ‘Small Talk’ ������������������ 78
BonoTom Studio, Inc.
AD INDEX ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������80
[email protected] | bonotom.com | 703-276-0612
Memento Mori (ISSN 1936-2099) is published by EVENTS CALENDAR������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 80
the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral
Association®, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling,
VA 20164-4468; 703.391.8400; FAX 703.391.8416; www.
iccfa.com. Published 10 times per year, with combined
issues in March-April and August-September. Periodicals
postage paid at Baltimore, MD, and other offices. When it comes to my own turn to lay
Copyright 2021 by the International Cemetery, Cremation
and Funeral Association. Subscription rates: In the United my weapons down, I shall do so with
States, $39.95; in Canada, $45.95; overseas: $75.95. One
subscription is included in annual membership dues. thankfulness and fatigue, and whatever
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Memento Mori,
107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164-4468.
be my destiny afterward, I shall be glad
to lie down with my fathers in honor.
Individual written contributions, commentary and It is human at least, if not divine.
advertisements appearing in Memento Mori do not necessarily
reflect either the opinion or the endorsement of the —Robert Louis Stevenson
International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association.

4 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


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ADOPTING A

Part three of a three-part series on leadership

Integral Leadership for Deathcare Professionals


Inspire Deeper Meaning
in the Heart of Your Organization
by C. Lynn Gibson, PhD, DPhil, CFSP

I
F YOU SERVE IN A LEADERSHIP ROLE in a deathcare organization today,
this three-part article series was designed to give you hope and direction. Integral [I]f you are a leader
leadership was introduced as a holistic model to elevate your organization’s impact on
who sees your
people’s lives and to contribute to the common good in the communities you serve.
organization as a living
As a summary, Part 1 of the series A Bi-Vocational Calling
suggested that integral leadership begins One essential element for integral leaders is
entity, you will need
with a proper frame of mind—cognitively to embody a bi-vocational calling—namely, to develop policies
approaching your organization as a rela- 1) a passion to develop their team members
tional and emergent living system, not as and the subsequent joy of watching them and best practices that
a machine of inputs and outputs solely grow (i.e., our people), and 2) a passion cultivate and support a
designed to optimize business performance. for their organizations to make a positive
In Part 2, a conceptual map took you on contribution to the world, drawing one noble purpose.
a visual tour of the various locations where another toward meaningful ends that serve
living organizations travel as they grow and the common good (i.e., our communities). traits, educational achievements, and work
develop over time. The goal was to encour- The quest to embody this two-fold noble experiences; they also conduct their daily
age you to aspire to higher value systems purpose (i.e., our people and our communi- work from how they frame their perception
that will advance the quality of nurturing ties) should therefore be an ongoing focus of the world.
care of your organization. of integral leadership among deathcare What brings great joy to the hearts of
The first two articles of this series there- professionals. integral leaders is to inspire their people
fore addressed the core “head, hands and toward the greater ends of their organi-
feet” of integral leadership. In this final arti- PEOPLE zation through personal and professional
cle, we examine another vital component of One challenge of integral leadership is development. Integral leaders are commit-
integral leadership—embracing the noble to appreciate how every worker in your ted to nurturing their teams forward by
purpose of your organization. As such, you organization has inherent worth as a unique helping them connect regularly with the
will learn that validating your “heart” for human soul, and at the same time, under- organization’s highest ideals and purpose.
integral leadership is predicated upon your stand how each worker can contribute to
ability to recognize your bi-vocational call- a larger whole—the living organization COMMUNITIES
ing as well as to support a higher purpose itself. We have learned that people are more Enrolling your team in the process of
that is both timeless and ever- evolving. than the sum of their individual personality buying-in and even co-creating your organi-
zation’s higher purpose is certainly one
part of the sine qua non of integral leader-
Head Adopting A Living Systems Paradigm ship. However, there is another essential
component of integral leadership you will
need to evaluate. Is your corporate culture
inadvertently stifling your business’s ability
Hands and Feet Mapping Organizational Growth to connect people to its higher purpose?
Whether you are a business owner, director
of operations, general manager, or a senior-
Heart Embracing A Noble Purpose level staff member, if you are a leader who
sees your organization as a living entity,

6 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


you will need to develop policies and best and evolving phenomenon. Hubert Joly, As an integral leader who desires to
practices that cultivate and support a noble senior lecturer at Harvard Business School make a positive social, economic, and
purpose. and former CEO of Best Buy, suggests in his environmental impact on the world, you
For example, integral leaders advance book The Heart of Business: “Purpose is a will need to put people and purpose over
their organizations by seeking higher-level horizon line you never reach.” profit, consistently inspiring buy-in from
values that serve a greater good, such as
promoting ideals like an outward mindset,
radical compassion, and global responsi-
bility, to name just a few. This is the bi-vo-
cational passion of integral leadership—a
strong sense of calling to make a difference
in the lives of your workers as well as soci-
ety at large. As theologian Frederick Buech-
ner puts it: Vocation is “the place where
your deep gladness and the world’s deep
hunger meet.”

A Timeless & Ever-Evolving


Purpose
For some, integral leadership, with its
emphasis on synthesizing the value systems
of existing staff and inspiring them to be
focused on a noble purpose to serve oth-
ers, may sound like something too new or
naïve; however, the basic warp and woof of
integral leadership is not novel at all.
Ancient wisdom from various spiritual
traditions has been moving us toward
transcendent values of love and consider-
ation of the other for millennia. Take the
term ubuntu for example. This ancient
African philosophy articulated by coun-
tries throughout the continent has for ages
pointed toward our inherent interconnec-
tivity as human beings (i.e., our collective
corporate identity) by suggesting that “a
person is a person through other persons.”
Or perhaps more plainly: “I am, because we
are.”
Of course, ubuntu is just one example
of an important nuance we can learn from
ancient wisdom traditions. What is import-
ant is for leaders to understand that aspiring
to a higher purpose for their organization is
not a lofty waste of time but is supported by
a stream of ancient wisdom that continues
to carry us all toward greater unity and a
common humanity.
In addition to building upon ancient
wisdom, integral leaders must also help
their organizations understand that a higher
noble purpose is not something that will
be achieved or completed but is a dynamic

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 7


ADOPTING A PARADIGM SHIFT

your teams of their roles in pursuing an serve the common good of the bereaved. humanity and greater communality will
ongoing higher end. Leaders should regu- You may be amazed at the creativity that continue to pull and reshape organizations
larly celebrate success stories among their emerges organically within your organiza- for the betterment of the world.
teams when someone (or some group) of tion when your people are empowered by For all of us committed to nurturing the
the organization connects the dots of their a simple yet profound higher purpose. The beauty of human souls in our organizations,
daily work to a higher purpose. point is that a noble purpose always draws integral leadership is a vital step forward
When a staff member identifies a new us forward to something new and compel- that must be lived out daily among the peo-
idea to be more helpful to a client-family, ling. What becomes clear as a deathcare ple whom we lead as well as the communi-
integral leaders communicate their appreci- leader is that a higher purpose will evolve ties we are privileged to serve. 
ation and herald that staff member’s efforts over time into practical goals and objectives
to others. Indeed, frequent reminders are that meet the changing preferences and C. Lynn Gibson is the director of
operations for Smith Life &
needed to harmonize and help the organi- needs of bereaved client-families.
Legacy in Maryville, Tennessee.
zation truly flourish.
Lynn is a Licensed Funeral
You may find it helpful to consider one A Final Word Director, a Certified Funeral
example of a timeless and evolving purpose. If you are a beleaguered leader in deathcare Service Practitioner, and a
Jason Chambers, an integral leader of a today, this three-part article series pres- Certified Crematory Operator. He
funeral home and cemetery combo in East ents an invitation for you to develop your holds two doctorates in social research and pastoral
Tennessee, articulates his organization’s organization’s evolving higher purpose care. As a writer and speaker, Lynn contributes to
higher evolving purpose like this: “We help through integral leadership—an approach several international organizations, including the
people live meaningful lives.” that values businesses as living entities and Cremation Association of North America, the
This noble purpose is straightforward remains committed to the development of International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral
and open-ended, unlike many wordy mis- higher-order human values that deeply care Association, and the National Funeral Directors C

Association. Lynn currently serves as a research


sion statements that look good on a sign or for the common good. M
fellow for Stellenbosch University in South Africa. He
website but are not often expressed in com- When you intentionally make space for
is also the co-founder of the Center for Hope and Y

mon vernacular. As simple as it may initially a higher purpose among your people, your Wellbeing and serves on the Heart of the Company CM
sound, “helping people live meaningful organization will adapt and thrive. Ulti- Committee for the Park Lawn Corporation.
lives” can translate into endless creative mately, an integral leader is confident that MY

possibilities for professional services that the universal need for more compassionate CY

CMY

JIM LETSON
K

My first introduction to the funeral profession


was an invitation in 1970 to become an
BECK’S TRIBUTE CENTER apprentice. Before retiring as a successful
owner, my last act was inviting Foundation
“FOUNDATION Partners Group onboard. Why Foundation
Partners? They understand the cremation
PARTNERS GROUP market and have a robust commitment to the
SHARES OUR legacy of our brand.

COMMITMENT TO They also recognize that we have a bright,


A PEOPLE-DRIVEN capable team who should be treated well and
deserve ample career potential. I needed to
BUSINESS THAT’S choose a business partner with similar values
PASSIONATE ABOUT and vision based on my 52 years in the funeral
profession. Foundation Partners was the right
SERVICE.” choice for us – it might be for you, too.

Foundation Partners Group Get in Touch


4901 Vineland Road, Suite 300 1-888-788-7526
Orlando, FL 32811 FoundationPartners.com

8 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


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ABOVE GROUND

Winterizing Cemetery Trees and Landscape


by Zach McGinnis

A
S THE SEASONS CHANGE ,
it’s important to consider the
changes that need to be made to
accommodate your cemetery landscape.
Winter can be a particularly tricky season to
prepare for, as it brings different challenges
and often some of the harshest conditions.
While the cold-weather months might not
be top-of-mind just yet, it’s time to start
thinking about winterizing your grounds.
Here are a few things to keep in mind.

Trees
It’s important for trees to get a pre-winter Lack of moisture is one of
evaluation. This will ensure any potential
tree defects are brought to your attention the most injurious things, so
and can be taken care of before the ice and
snow cause any structural damage. Your
it’s important to keep a close
local arborist can identify the trees that are eye throughout the year.
high priority and need to be taken care of
pre-winter and what can wait until spring
or summer if budget and time are running Pruning away any remaining dead flower is one of the most injurious things, so it’s
low toward the end of the year. buds will help the plant have a healthy important to keep a close eye throughout
blossom next year. If they are getting a bit the year. A good rule of thumb is to give
Shrubs overgrown, thinning them out can go a long your trees and plants a really good soaking
Any of your late-flowering shrubs will way and contributes to healthy growth after right before Thanksgiving to set them up for
need some extra attention this time of year. the harsh winter months. An arborist can the winter. If the season brings unusually
put together an optimal pruning plan for low precipitation and the ground isn’t fro-
the shrubbery throughout your grounds. zen, it is certainly a good idea to give your
landscape some extra water.
Turf No matter the climate, it is always
The number-one way to prepare your ceme- important to prep your cemetery grounds
tery’s turf for winter is to mark your road- for winter. For a more tailored plan to
ways. Because of plowing, turf often gets winterize your grounds, contact your
torn up during the winter months, but that local arborist and he or she will set you
can easily be avoided. Take some time this up with a plan to keep your landscape
fall to clearly mark the roadways for your healthy and strong throughout the colder
plows, and your turf will thank you when months. 
spring rolls around.
Zach McGinnis works for The
Davey Tree Expert Company,
Hydration
which specializes in caring for
While these are important steps to winter-
cemeteries and has over 140
ize your grounds, there is one more tip that years of experience. Have
should rank at the very top of your pre-win- questions? Contact
ter checklist. Hydration! Just like people, 866.459.7356 or national@
trees and other plants need water even davey.com.
when it’s cold outside. Lack of moisture

10 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


CEMETERY IMPOSSIBLE

Should Your Master Plan


Include a Natural Burial Area?
by Daniel M. Isard, MSFS

R
ECENTLY , a new cemetery client asked me to help repurpose a Master Plan. For a tractor. You cannot pre-vault green
those of you who are not regular readers, a Master Plan is the long-term plan for spaces. So rather than have about 1,000
your undeveloped areas and maybe any developed areas that have not been sold or graves per acre, a green cemetery acre may
interred into yet. have about 400 to 500 interments. That
alone is going to increase the cost signifi-
Good consultants usually answer a are many people who have an increasing cantly. However, the green grave doesn’t
question with a question. My reply was, “If environmental consciousness. There are need a vault and often has a more natural
you had a restaurant, would you only have about 2.5 million electric vehicles on the grave marker, which saves the consumer
a few items on the menu, or would you try road in the United States. That might only money and makes the comparison more
and provide variety?” Most cemeterians are be 1% of all autos, but these are people cost effective.
limited in their mindset. Natural Burial is a who are willing to pay more to purchase an More than 80% of all interment rights
viable and profitable option that may work. electric vehicle. sold in a cemetery are to people who have
Green funerals are not offered in every family and friends already interred in the
What Is Natural Burial? cemetery. This is a point of differentiation. cemetery. But if someone is green focused,
Well, it is basically a Kosher burial option, My research has shown that people will that person will search out a cemetery with
where the body is not embalmed with caus- drive three times farther to go to a cemetery green options and that can benefit both
tic materials. But that is the very limited than a funeral home. They will go as far as historic and modern cemeteries. In some
interpretation. This can be conjugated to needed for a green interment, rather than a green cemeteries, we have seen consumers
include a container holding the body that non-green interment. travel as far as 100 miles because there were
no other green options.

Be the First
Green cemeteries are often not as well mowed, so an The benefits of offering green burial in your
area that retains more of its forest look is better. You marketing area is the differentiation of your
cemetery versus others. The press likes to
still need the care and measurement of the plotted talk about new and different. It is much
areas, but there is more margin for error. more cathartic if you have people leave
their vehicles at the entryway and walk
behind a caisson that might be horse drawn
or pulled by the mourners. Even if you don’t
must be biodegradable. It can include the Pricing make more sales, you will have many more
limitation of equipment working in the Nat- Just as an electric vehicle is usually more inquiries.
ural Burial area. It can be a matter whereby expensive than the comparable gas automo- The benefits of helping people plan for
the cemetery seeks endorsement\approval bile, green interment is more expensive (or a green burial are dramatic. First, since this
from the Green Burial Council, which is a should be) than non-green burial. Con- might be the consumer’s first time planning
group that certifies that practices are up to sumers are willing to pay extra for a green a green interment, there are more things
their standards. I am not trying to endorse burial. to talk about. The plans for getting to the
the GBC, but they do some good work in Green burials are typically more expen- cemetery site and the plans for the plantings
my experience. sive for some basic matters. First of all, a post interment. The grave marker might be
The first question that anyone should green interment is usually in a larger space flowers or stone or both. People can help
ask is, “Why would I want to dedicate some than a non-green burial. The grave is often fill in the grave after the service. And the
of my land for the Natural Burial consum- hand dug and you cannot be as exacting casket or shroud is going to be unique to
ers?” Well, that is easy to answer! There when doing hand digging than when using that service.

12 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


®

SIMPLE TO UNDERSTAND
Wilbert’s simpliFi burial vault presentation provides
families all they need to know in a short, simple,
3-step process.
By offering an area for green inter- Straightforward. Engaging. Quick.
ment, you are finding a way to talk with
consumers about your benefits without It’s as simple as that.
bringing price into the dialogue.
Call your Wilbert provider to see a demo.
It Can Be Done
If you have a common cemetery, you
might ask, “Where on this site do I
put the green area?” This might be the
best part about green! You might have
an area that is less developed and that
could be the perfect area. Green cem-
eteries are often not as well mowed, so
an area that retains more of its forest
look is better. You still need the care
and measurement of the plotted areas,
but there is more margin for error.
As the cemeterian, you get to
decide what works for you. If you go
to the same level that a Jewish ceme-
tery would go to, and nothing more,
that is green. If you go to the other
extreme that meets the requirements
for certification of the Green Burial
Council, that could work as well. Of
course, anything in the middle could
work for you. 

Dan Isard, MSFS, is


founder of The Foresight
Companies LLC, a
Phoenix-based business Scan the QR Code for upcoming
U Sessions!
and management
consulting firm
specializing in mergers
and acquisitions, valuations, accounting,
financing HR services and family surveys.
He is the author of several books and
hundreds of published articles in industry
magazines, including “The Director’s
Finance 201” column. He can be reached at
800.426.0165 or danisard@
theforesightcompanies.com.

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 13


CEMETERY MANAGEMENT

Risk Mitigation for Cemeteries


Filling Calendars
Don’t Let a Claim Ruin a Great Event
by Domenic Antinucci, CPCU

C
ONGRESSIONAL CEMETERY IN WASHINGTON, D.C. , is one of the nation’s Vandalism and Theft
oldest cemeteries. Its history dates to the 1790s and operates under a Victorian- Depending on the event size and scale,
era precedent when it was common for cemeteries to function as public spaces. it may be difficult to monitor all visitors
Accordingly, it was not uncommon to find families gathered for picnics or young lovebirds or keep them within a designated space.
wandering the grounds as part of their courting rituals. Curious teenagers may find their way to less
monitored areas of the cemetery where they
Centuries later, that tradition continues. might vandalize the property. This vandal-
Congressional, and other historic cemeter- With a plan created, ism could include graffiti or simply knock-
ies around the country host countless cre- ing over and damaging headstones.
ative events to fundraise for their properties cemetery personnel Additionally, your cemetery may have
and to better connect with their communi- graves prepared for the next day and if chil-
ties. Twilight tours, murder mystery din-
should walk the space dren or teenagers wander near the site, they
ners, 5K runs, yoga classes, music festivals, before the event to may injure themselves, damage equipment
movie nights, firework displays, and themed or interfere with the grave set up. Such
weddings are just some of the ways these ensure no obstacles tampering could interrupt or ruin the next
properties have opened themselves up to or hazards exist day’s procession leading to a potential loss
the public while also creating new revenue of sepulcher. In such instances, cemeteries
streams. and remove them if could face costly clean-up, repair costs and
Cemeteries can be beautiful spaces for even litigation.
these types of events. Many are changing
necessary to improve
their names to include “memorial park” safety conditions. Employee Injury
to encourage people to enjoy the property Cemetery employees may be asked to work
beyond its principal purpose. These events late or at different hours to support or
are not just income generators in and of same rules or processes as the cemetery. accommodate these events. Some events
themselves; they highlight the cemetery, The top risks cemeteries face in hosting might involve third-party vendor staffing.
leading visitors to enjoy the property’s vistas external events include: In either case, the risk of injury to ceme-
and determine it to be an ideal final resting tery or third-party employees must be a
place for themselves or their loved ones. Slips, Trips, and Falls consideration.
While these seemingly novel uses of a These remain the most common insurance For cemetery employees asked to adjust
cemetery property can improve revenue claims we see come out of cemeteries in their hours due to an event, they may be
and further invest the cemetery as a valued both frequency and severity. They present unfamiliar or uncomfortable with being
community presence, they also introduce a financial, legal, health, and reputational in the cemetery during times that are
unique set of risks that have the potential to risks. Hosting events exacerbate these risks atypical of their schedules. It is possible
lead to reputational and financial damage. due to the increase of patrons. For example, some workers may not wish to be on the
It is important to understand these risks to more foot traffic in the cemetery also means property at night or may be uncomfort-
best mitigate them to host safe and success- more people in the bathrooms, which could able with performing certain tasks outside
ful events. create more spills and water on the floor for their normal work role (e.g., leading tours,
patrons to slip in. Hosting a tour at night guiding patrons, monitoring patrons, etc.).
Understanding the Risks could lead to someone tripping on a head- This could lead to stress, distraction and
Using any space for a reason other than its stone or debris on the ground. Alternatively, even injury.
original purpose presents risks. For cem- hosting a movie or music events might lead Third-party vendors likely won’t be
eteries, those risks can be exacerbated by to tripping on wires. In any event, ceme- familiar with the cemetery layout or any
factors such as the time of day, weather and teries are liable even if the guest trips over hazards that may exist or processes fol-
third-party vendors that may not follow the their own two feet. lowed by cemetery staff. This, too, could

14 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


lead to injury of the third-party vendor’s Hiring a third-party vendor to run the rules to the group before they start moving,
staff and create the potential for reputa- event does not negate the responsibilities including what to expect and where they
tional damage or a costly legal battle. of the cemetery operator. A representative can and cannot go. Finally, a tour guide can
from the cemetery should always be on-site be asked to continuously look out for poten-
How to Mitigate the Risks to chaperone and help with any event. tial hazards (damaged sidewalks, loose or
While there are risks associated with For instance, having a tour guide from the frayed wires, uneven walking surfaces, etc.)
hosting external events, there are steps cemetery available to escort people through and if they are CPR/Red Cross certified they
cemeteries can take to mitigate such risks the grounds will help minimize the risk of can help in case of an emergency.
and ensure a safe and fun time is had by all. trips and falls. Bringing in third-party security for
When applied to the risks outline above, A tour guide should also explain the larger events can help mitigate risks by
the following steps can help minimize the
opportunity for such incidents and better
protect patrons and the cemetery alike.

Plan Ahead
It is important to understand what kind of
We are Proud to Announce the Completion of Our Latest Projects
turnout is expected and have a plan in place for Sunset Memorial Park in Albuquerque, NM
to accommodate guests as necessary. Some
questions to ask when creating such a plan
include:
• How much space will the event
require?
• What are the demographics of the
crowd (i.e., planning for families versus     
   
 
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college students might require different
approaches/accommodations)? We Thank Tom, Alice, Josh, Brian and all of French's personnel for their continuous business and friendship.

• What are the concerns/risks involved


in the designated spaces? Don't Break the Bank, Buy One Unit at a Time and Grow From There.
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• If the event is at night, what type of
21’’
lighting will be needed to allow for safe 21’’

"For Cremated Remains Only" Large 21” x 21”


mobility to, from and on the cemetery 21’’
21’’
Engraving Surface

property? 12’’
12’’ 12’’ Deep

For larger, annual events, such as 4th of Large 12” x 12”


Engraving Surface
12’’ Deep
7’’ Deep
July fireworks or Halloween tours, cemeter- 12’’ Deep

Small Large Large


ies should dedicate more time to planning In-Ground
Single Deep
In-Ground In-Ground
Single Deep Double Deep
and preparing for large crowds. With a plan Urn Chamber 7” Diameter x 7“ Deep. Urn Chamber 15” Diameter x 12“ Deep. Upper Urn Chamber 15” Diameter x 12“ Deep.

created, cemetery personnel should walk


Large 12” x 12” Engraving Surface. Large 21” x 21” Engraving Surface. Bottom Urn Chamber 14” Diameter x12“ Deep.
1 or 2 Urn Capacity Depending 1 to 6 Urn Capacity Depending Large 21” x 21” Engraving Surface.
on Size and Shape of the Urns. on Size and Shape of the Urns. 1 to 12 Urn Capacity Depending
the space before the event to ensure no 3 Steel Anchoring Rods. 4 Steel Anchoring Rods. on Size and Shape of the Urns.
5 Steel Anchoring Rods.

obstacles or hazards exist and remove them Scan this code to watch the
installation instructions video.
Custom

if necessary to improve safety conditions.


Large High Capacity Installed
In-Ground In-Ground Niche In-Ground Memorialization
Double Deep

Vet Your Vendors


For events that require third-party vendors,
cemetery operators and managers should All the product pictures and images are provided to give a general idea about the color, veining and variation of the stone and/or products. Natural Stones may vary from
one consignment to the next. Lighting changes in pictures may make a product appear different from the actual product seen in “real life’.

perform due diligence in researching the


Gerardo G. Garcia
vendor. Make sure they have experience Direct (720) 880-8055 17301 W Colfax Avenue, Ste 404
www.columbariumbydesign.com Golden, CO 80401
staffing successful events and can provide [email protected]
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references accordingly.

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 15


CEMETERY MANAGEMENT

restricting access, keeping patrons off • Assign someone to monitor fountains should something go wrong. Insurance
grave markers, supporting crowd control if and wishing wells to ensure guests are partners can also often advise on additional
needed and helping with emergency needs not playing in them. steps to take to shore up and protect your
if contracted to do so. • Make sure creek footbridges are not cemetery from event-related risks.
slippery (use non-slip grounding) and If something does go wrong, notify your
Prepare the Space check the stability and sturdiness of insurance partner right away. The earlier the
Once the event has been planned and ven- any bridges or handrails. insurer knows about an incident or claim,
dors are hired, it is important for the space the earlier it can begin work to protect you
to be properly prepared. Do the following: Communicate and your cemetery. While hosting external
• Tape down all wires or cover them During the event, cemetery personnel events may seem daunting or risky, if done
with mats. should work closely with vendors and right they can be fun, profitable and can
• Frequently inspect and clean equip- security to communicate with one another highlight the beauty of your cemetery’s
ment and furniture to ensure there is and with patrons about any potential issues, space while bringing your community
no splintering or breakage. including restricted areas and restroom together. 
• Designate a person to check bath- locations. One way to clearly communicate
rooms or portable toilets on a regular this information with guests is through sig- Domenic Antinucci, CPCU is a
program manager at the
schedule to ensure they are adequately nage. Clearly posted signs around buildings
Brownyard Group, which offers
stocked, clean, have no plumbing and walkways that indicate employee-only
cemetery and crematory
issues or running water or slippery areas and where not to walk will help keep insurance coverage through
surfaces. Make sure stalls lock properly guests safe and happy. the Memorialpro insurance
and handicap access is available. Even with a sound event plan, it is program and has been a part
• Ensure the grass is properly cut around important to work with your insurance of the ICCFA for more than four years. He can be
markers or gravestones and they are partner before hosting new event types to contacted at [email protected] or
clearly visible. ensure the cemetery is properly covered 800-645-5820.

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smallbizlending.thebancorp.com [email protected]
310.902.4050

16 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


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The
Smallest
Stone
by Amanda Marie Eilis King, CFSP

T
hrow even the smallest stone into water and ripples
emerge from where it descends. As the water rushes
in to fill the void, these circling waves fan outward
affecting the water around it as more ripples transpire. For
those of us in deathcare, when we might often find ourselves
detached from the constant grief surrounding our sacred
work, sometimes ripples find their way to affect us as well.
They may encourage us to embrace new perspectives and
experiences as they undulate us along the way.

When I was first applying for my apprenticeship years ago, I will never forget when it
came time for me to ask questions at the end of a particular interview on the East Coast. I
asked if they had educated or served any families wanting alkaline hydrolysis. The gentle-
man seated to my right gripped the table with both hands and just stared at me like a deer
in headlights. “We do not offer that here.” I did not expect an apprenticeship offer after that
comment, nor did I receive one.
But fast forward to today, and we see aquamation slowly trickling across the United
States in both legality and as a more accessible method of cremation. The ripples as a result
of introducing aquamation as an acceptable means of disposition are now beginning to
truly be felt across our industry, as knowledge spreads to the public of its gentler and more
environmentally conscious nature.
And here I am now, back on the East Coast serving a family that desired this process for
their loved one—and not just for anyone, but for a child.

18 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


The Ripple Effect
of Aquamation
and Its Increasing
Popularity

STOCK.ADOBE.COM / DENCHIK/ VIK_Y/ VLORZOR/ PAUL_CRAFT


SHUTTERSTOCK / WACOMKA
THE SMALLEST STONE

Dezaray
When I first met with Dezaray after being introduced
by hospice, I held her son, Eros, for about two hours
while we began the extremely difficult discussion of
what will happen after he dies. As he looked up at me
and cooed in my arms, she expressed her desire to
ultimately have cremation occur as his disposition. I
cannot imagine what it must have felt like to commu-
nicate what will happen to a dying 2-year old’s body
while seeing him curled up and giggling in his funeral
director’s arms.
I begin these tough conversations with families of
dying children before they pass away and hopefully meet
the child personally—I know, that sounds like a difficult Two-year-old Eros as he lies in state awaiting transportation to
feat within itself. But for each of these families, I do not Colorado for aquamation.
want to be a stranger who they inevitably have to hand
their child over to—I want to provide them with even the perhaps most importantly, that she was able to commu-
smallest amount of comfort as they envision death, being nicate this to me—even in uncertainty.
someone they already have trust in to care for them with She continued, “… the thought of burning my son’s
loving hands. And if you’d like an exceptional children’s beautiful flesh is not something I want for him … he’s
book to better explore this impression, I highly suggest already endured so much in his 20 months of living …”
La Visite de Petite Mort by Kitty Crowther—a story well- Without even hesitating, I told her that I would try my
worth spending the little bit of time to translate. best to find a way for him to have a water cremation. I
But going back to the moment Dezaray mentioned too, knew that there were no facilities within Connecti-
cremation, she paused, and I saw how difficult it was for cut, but that they existed in other states. In my mind it
her to verbalize what the future held. Hesitantly she mut- simply meant I had to coordinate a ship-out to one of
tered, “Actually … can we do water cremation?” She had them if they would accept the case.
researched and already had this decision weighing on her Colleagues in Colorado immediately came to mind,
shoulders on top of wondering if it were even possible. and I reached out that night to Emily Nelson, founder
However, her research had led her down a dead-end and CEO of Be A Tree Cremation. Between Emily and
path, as she discovered there were no water cremation me, it was a matter of discerning these uncharted logis-
facilities in Connecticut or the surrounding states. tics to give a mother some semblance of peace on her
long road of grief and exhaustion. Isn’t that often our job
The First Ripple as funeral directors? What’s a state line to stop us from
At that moment I was grateful for two things; the doing our sacred duty? There surely had to be a legal way
first being that she knew what her heart desired for to accomplish this.
her child’s body when he inevitably passed, and two, Emily and I stayed in constant communication for
this imminent need, as I inquired what paperwork could
be completed for her crematory by Eros’s mother prior
Mom, Desaray, as
she holds her son
to his passing. I wanted to make sure we had everything
for the last time. lined up properly to fulfill this family’s wishes.

The Logistics
Be A Tree Cremation, like so many other funeral homes
across the country nowadays, has their authorization
forms accessible for online signatures so they can easily
be completed anywhere—even several states away.
Anticipating this ship-out, I pre-collected the vitals to
complete his death certificate so that I could file it imme-
diately after he passed as well as being able to obtain the
transit permit to get him swiftly on his way to Colora-
do—a request of his mother so that his little body spent
as little time laying in limbo before his water cremation.
As part of pre-planning this endeavor, I had to
research the parameters of what needed to be adhered
to with the process of aquamation. I suspected there

20 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


may be restrictions that set it apart from traditional
cremation. I learned that the body can be embalmed; Eros, shown here,
arriving in Colorado
however, it is best to refrain from using any sort of for aquamation.
plastic during restorative work. And if the person is to
be dressed, it must be in silk so that it too can dissolve in
the alkaline solution.

Another Ripple
The ceremony of parents and caregivers dressing a child
after the child dies can be immensely powerful and
therapeutic, so I wanted to make sure Eros’s family was
given the same opportunity. I voiced this desire to give
the dressing experience to Eros’s family with Emily and
she was kind enough to not only send us silk for the
shrouding, but to also have a silk gown made for Eros to
be dressed in underneath.
It was beautifully tailored as a gift for Eros by an time with his body and to prepare him for his journey,
extended family of the owner of Half Moon Farm, there was a defeated tone to her voice as she told me she
which is where the “tree tea” (Be A Tree’s terminology had changed her mind and decided to do traditional cre-
for the liquid by-product of the aquamation process) is mation instead. Grounded in the reality of her situation,
sent to nourish the earth and flowers that grow there. she said that her dream of his water cremation felt too
Little did they know how much this woman’s hand- out of reach for her to accomplish and that she could not
sewn gift also nourished Eros’s mother’s soul by making afford to send him to Colorado. I know many funeral
this experience possible for her. directors have been in this same position—hearing a
Little Eros departed this world on the evening of family’s wishes only to be thwarted by finances.
August 2, 2022, wrapped tightly in his mother’s arms at So far, I have had great success utilizing Treasured
home and surrounded by people that loved him dearly. Memories Community Funding to assist families with
In an embrace, Dezaray transferred his swaddled body the financial burden of death, so I suggested this route
into my arms—a moment I always imagined to be one to Dezaray knowing what she truly desired in her heart
of the toughest things a mother could ever do. for her son.
When Dezaray came in the next morning to spend “I was so sad because deep in my heart, [traditional
cremation] was not what I wanted for him,” Dezaray
told me, as her decision to change her mind was based
purely on perceived financial constraints. With aqua-
mation costing the equivalent of traditional crema-
tion, the additional airfare for Eros would not be an
unobtainable amount, so we completed the paperwork
for TMC Funding and the community quickly rallied
support for Eros to have his water cremation.

The Final Destination


After the exhale of deciding to stay on track with our
plan, I assisted Dezaray with dressing her son in his
silk gown, and then handed his swaddled body back to
her, again in mid-embrace. When it came time for his
shrouding, I could see her need to have the finality in
caring for his body as she meticulously tied each strap
into a perfect bow around him. She had been doing
so since the day he was born. Only a mother’s touch
could prepare him to physically leave this earth, just as
her hand once ushered him in. She was the first one to
say hello to him, and the last one to say goodbye to his
beautiful, little body.
I wanted Dezaray to feel her son was safe in her
Eros, wrapped in silk and adorned with sunflowers as he decision to send his body to Colorado for the water
enters the aquamation tank. cremation, so I asked her how in tune she wanted to be

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 21


THE SMALLEST STONE

The “tree tea” is used to nourish the many plants grown on


the grounds of the Half Moon Farm.

A small pouch of Eros’s remains and two tiny cobalt


blue vials of his “tree tea” arrived back in Connecticut
the following week, thoughtfully tucked within the
guarding paws of the stuffed puppy dog that accom-
panied his body from the airport to the crematory.
This meant the world to his mother, and I made sure
with each step of the process. She was grateful to have that Emily and the kind folks at Be A Tree knew the
an open line of communication to know exactly where immense impact they had in helping this family. I also
her child was at every step of his journey. Thankfully, want to reflect upon the gratitude I have for them being
Emily and her staff at Be A Tree were also on board to so willing to work alongside me in honoring this fami-
not only send me notifications that I could pass on to ly’s desired disposition choice.
his mother for assurance, but photos as well.
The morning I brought Eros in his special air-tray The Last Ripple
to air cargo, I noticed an extra amount of reverence I wrote this article with the sentiment of wanting to
from the cargo workers as they began their process of convey that a disposition option for the families you
getting him to his outbound plane. Emily also alerted serve doesn’t need to be off the table just because it is
the woman that was picking him up at the air cargo in not yet accessible in your state. Desaray, Eros’s mother,
Colorado of the delicate nature of this ship-in. She too, graciously allowed and encouraged her son’s story to be
was a mother, and her own child assisted in this feat— shared in hopes of enabling other families to have aqua-
picking out sunflowers and a stuffed puppy dog that mation available as an option for them, even if it means
would guard and keep Eros safe out in Colorado. transporting their loved ones to another state.
With careful coordination, candles were lit simulta- But perhaps together, we in the funeral industry can
neously in Colorado and Connecticut when Eros’s water help accelerate the accessibility of aquamation across
cremation was taking place. “I was truly beyond grate- the United States, embracing its eco-friendlier carbon
ful. It was everything I would have done and more for footprint alongside the more calming and gentler visu-
him—from how they greeted my son with the sunflow- als it may give to the families we dutifully serve as we
ers and puppy, to the way they handled his care,” said strive to honor their final wishes. 
Desaray. The meticulous amount of communication
with the other crematory also allowed for this transit to Amanda Marie Eilis King, CFSP, is a licensed Embalmer
and Funeral Director at B.C. Bailey Funeral Home and an
go smoothly both in logistics and emotion.
Embalming Specialist with Frigid Fluid Company. She is also an
I asked Emily how it felt caring for someone whom
educator who specializes in and teaches reconstructive work
they weren’t directly serving, and she told me, “Due and cosmetic application. She can be reached at amanda@
to the relationship you developed with the family and baileycares.com.
the details you shared, we felt extremely comfortable
Written with gratitude to Matthew Bailey, for supporting
with you managing the communication, and it did not
the creative endeavors I request to take on for the families
diminish how connected we felt with the family.” Their
I serve at B.C. Bailey Funeral Home.
mindful photos throughout his journey gave Dezaray
stepping stones of relief until his remains were safely The photos in this article were shared with permission and
back in her arms. hopeful encouragement from Eros’s family.

22 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


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Page 23
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When

Knocks,
Be Prepared
by John T. McQueen, CFSP

24 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


Ask the Right Questions,
Get the Right Answers

MOST OF US MIGHT BE FAMILIAR with this verse from the Bible: “Ask,
and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” Matthew
7:7 (KJV). The passage suggests that God will give whatever is needed to those who have the
faith to ask for it. The same often holds true when it comes to helping cremation families.
If you desire more than just a direct cremation, you must ask. The ask comes in the form of
questions. You also must seek the answers you are looking for from your client. Only through
exploration with conversation starters can you obtain the necessary knowledge to enlighten the
family to additional offerings. Finally, you must knock if you want the door to be opened. In our
case, the knock comes through professional recommendations to the client as well as asking for
the business or acceptance of your solution. Without all three, the odds of receiving the outcome
you desire will be minimal.

The A.S.K. Technique incorrect information. This same technique works


Learning to ask questions, especially conversation in the arrangement conference and applies to other
starters, is instrumental to your success when dealing service types (e.g., burial, out-of-state transfers, and
with all families, but especially those choosing crema- body donation).
tion—whether face-to-face or over the phone. How- But why is it important to ask questions? Because
ever, before discussing how to use questions effectively your goal is to build a relationship with the individual—
with phone shoppers, we must overcome the biggest hopefully a relationship based on trust, which occurs
fallacy in funeral service … the price shopper. Most when the conversation you share is one of mutual giving
funeral professionals I speak to believe the price and receiving in an informative or educational format.
shopper call is all about price, but it is not. The price Remember, people buy from people they like and trust.
shopper is really all about help. The reason callers ask
about price is because money is the universal lan- The Ask
guage. When we don’t know what questions to ask, we As shared in the May 9, 2017, edition of TravelUni’s
ask about price. article on consultative selling, “You assist the buyer in
How do you change the narrative of the call from identifying, or clarifying, their needs, and then suggest
price to help? By using The A.S.K. technique. For nearly products that satisfy those needs.” The article goes on
35 years, my response when asked about price is to to share, “Make them feel good and you increase your
respond to the caller with a question. For example, chances of making a sale. You start to make them feel
the caller says, “How much does a cremation cost?” good about you by getting into rapport. This means hav-
My response, “I’d be happy to answer that for you. To ing a good understanding of them and their needs and
ensure the information I am giving you is the right being able to communicate well with them.”
information, may I ask you just a few questions first?” The same holds true for selling services and prod-
Throughout my career, I have never had a caller ucts in the funeral and cemetery industry. Of course,
tell me no. Why? Because who wants to be given you can’t satisfy their needs if you don’t truly know


STOCK.ADOBE.COM / ALSWART / ALPHASPIRIT / SHUTTERSTOCK / D LINE
NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 25
WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS, BE PREPARED

what they are, and that comes through asking questions Understanding these aspects of your clients’ back-
that start a conversation. ground will allow you to provide solutions for the
A great question is, “Has anyone taken the time to desires they have and the needs they have yet to realize
fully explain all of your options with cremation?” The must be met for healthy healing to occur.
typical response is either “No” or “I don’t know.” Your Don’t get me wrong, that does not mean we are not
next response should be, “Well please allow me to take selling. In fact, everyone in your organization, from
just a few minutes to explain the various options to the groundskeeper to the receptionist to the CEO, is in
you.” The client has just given you permission to share sales. The impressions we make upon potential cli-
your services and the value they provide. Of course, ents—from the appearance of our facilities to the way
you should have a well-prepared response that you can we answer/speak on the phone to the presentation skills
provide in a relatively short timeframe. You can always we use with clients during an arrangement conference
elaborate as more questions arise. and beyond—influence their buying decisions and
If your firm offers both flame and flameless (alkaline brand loyalty.
hydrolysis) cremation as ours did, another great kick-off As consultative salespeople, we need to look beyond
question is: “As far as the actual cremation is concerned, just the symptoms and find the underlying cause(s)
are you considering the traditional flame cremation if we truly want to help the client family heal. Simply
or the new flameless cremation option?” Typically, the accepting the fact that they ask for a simple, direct,
customer responds with “Flameless, what’s that?” Bingo! or basic cremation does not mean it is the right pre-
You now have an open forum to share both options. scription for what ails them. Does your doctor simply
These are just a few of the questions that can be used remove your limb when you tell him it is hurting?
in the Ask. Remember, the purpose of the ask is to allow Does your lawyer simply accept the opposing counsel’s
you to begin building a rapport with the customer and proposal without understanding the dynamics of your
to share the value you bring to the relationship. case? They do not, and neither should we.
The first step for every professional is to remove the
The Seek words “simple,” “direct,” or “basic” from your cremation
Gary O’Sullivan, world renowned for his pre-need sales offering. As identified in The Foresight Companies 2021
training, bases his entire philosophy on service selling. Consumer Survey, convenience is the new currency.
Gary defines it as: “Selling is the service, and the service In fact, the study revealed that 21% of consumers will
is for us to professionally, ethically, and caringly explain pay more for convenience. Therefore, when we name
how the advantages and benefits of the products and our cremation service offering simple, direct, or basic,
services we bring to the marketplace will be of value to
those of whom we propose them.”
But how can we explain to potential customers how Simply accepting the fact that
our products or services will benefit them if we don’t
know what they need—or more importantly, if they they ask for a simple, direct, or
don’t know what they need?
basic cremation does not mean
If you do what’s right and take care of the customers,
the customers will take care of you. This can be through it is the right prescription for
the selection of your firm as their provider (i.e., where
they choose to spend their money), or it can be in the
what ails them.
form of referrals post-sale. As Gary O’Sullivan says,
“Business is built on relationships.”
By using a consultative, educational, and informa- consumers will gravitate to it thinking it will be easier.
tive approach—whether pre-need or at-need—sales When in fact, they often don’t need easier, rather they
are made when solutions to problems are provided in a need better. Consider changing such offerings to a
professional way that allows the clients to select the best “non-ceremonial” cremation. After all, “non-ceremo-
choice to solve their needs. nial” is a better description of what they are purchasing.
Whereas the Ask allowed you to gather some infor- Next, as you explore and learn more about your cus-
mation but was primarily designed to build rapport tomers’ attitudes and beliefs, you will find many ways
and provide you an opportunity to share your value, to suggest other options that will benefit them. Perhaps
the Seek is a deeper dive into the client’s relationship the adult children were present at the hospital when
with the deceased, their beliefs, shared memories, and mom died, but the grandchildren were not. Providing
family. Often, the Seek focuses more on the emotional them the opportunity to say goodbye, with or without
aspects of the clients, their family, and the deceased. embalming, can be therapeutic for the entire family as

26 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


Are some families
going to reject your
recommendations?
Absolutely! But don’t let
those failed attempts
prevent you from taking
that game-winning shot.

they travel the grief journey. It also provides an oppor- enough to be heard throughout the house, it must be
tunity to share the benefits of ancillary products like presented with confidence and with clarity. You must
cremation jewelry or items such as a memory blanket. be able to articulate the “why” behind your recommen-
Another great question you can use in either the dations. As Simon Sinek has shared many times, people
Ask or the Seek stage when the family says they want don’t buy what you do or how you do it, they buy why
cremation is a simple, yet effective one: “Do you want you do it. The same holds true for your services and
the cremation before or after the service?” This question merchandise.
often elicits a response such as, “I didn’t know we could So why is it so difficult for funeral professionals to
have a service with cremation” or “we hadn’t considered make recommendations to the families they serve?
it.” This opens the door for you to share more informa- After years of studying staff and training funeral profes-
tion with a response such as “Most of our families have sionals, the answer is simple—rejection. No one wants
a service, some do it before the cremation, but many do their idea, belief, or self to be rejected by someone else.
it after the cremation.” Thus, the fear of rejection overrides the ability to make
recommendations.
The Knock Overcoming this fear is accomplished with two
The Knock is where you prescribe your “treatment things—knowledge and practice. As the old saying goes,
plan” for your client family. This final step in the A.S.K. “knowledge is power.” In this case, you are not trying to
system is where many funeral directors, cemeterians, overpower the customer, but you do need a complete
and pre-need counselors fail. The Knock is where you understanding of all the features, benefits, and practical
truly become the professional in your field, yet it is the applications for the services and merchandise you offer.
area so many in our profession fear. The door to success Using information gleaned from the client in The Seek
for all—client, community, and you—cannot be opened stage, you must clearly articulate what you are recom-
if you don’t do the Knock. mending and why you feel it would be the best solution
The Knock is simply your professional recommen- for their situation. A simple statement such as, “Mrs.
dation(s) for the type of services and/or merchandise Jones, based on all of the information you have shared
the family should select based on your analysis of their with me thus far, I would recommend the following
“symptoms” (i.e., The Seek). For the Knock to be loud cremation package and here’s why…”


STOCK.ADOBE.COM / GEARSTD / ALPHASPIRIT
NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 27
WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS, BE PREPARED

With regard to practice, the second component of boat is rocking, scattering cremated remains is not as
overcoming fear is mindset. Below is a quote from Billie easy as it might seem. Therefore, I highly recommend
Jean King. For those who don’t know, Ms. King is an one of our water-soluble urns. These bio-degradable
American former champion tennis player regarded by urns allow safe handling of your mother’s cremated
many as one of the greatest tennis players of all time. remains; then when you are ready, simply place it in
the water. Within minutes, it will begin to dissolve and
“Champions keep playing until they get it right.” slowly descend to the bottom. Within 24 hours, the
entire urn will have dissolved, and your mom’s remains
Although I comprehend what Billie is saying, I do not will rest gently on the ocean floor.”
agree completely with her statement. I believe the What if the client responds yes to the question about
correct message should be: “Champions keep practicing previous experience scattering cremated remains?
even after they get it right.” Perhaps some would say it’s That’s simple, just change your opening from “as you
just semantics. Yet, true champions never stop reach- can imagine …” to “I’m sure you would agree …” You
ing farther, honing skills, and learning from failures. will be amazed at the results; and I’ve never had a family
Champions have a mindset, a belief, that they can attain contact me later unhappy about their choice in using
whatever they aim to achieve. When they fall short, the water-soluble urn.
they don’t quit! Instead, they evaluate their mistakes, As I mentioned in the beginning, another knock
but rely on their habits (honed through practice), atti- comes in the form of asking for the business. I have
tudes, beliefs, and emotions to push forward. listened to many funeral directors share the benefits
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all and values of using their services with phone shoppers.
time, and yet he admits: They often do a great job … until the end of the call.
Often, they conclude the call by saying, “If you have any
“I’ve missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve additional questions, or if we can be of assistance, please
lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve feel free to call us back.” In my experience, 8 out of 10
been trusted to take the game-winning shot and times, you never hear from them again.
missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again Instead, try using a knock at the door to solicit a pos-
in my life. That is why I succeed.” itive response. One of my favorite ones is: “Mrs. Smith,
it would be our honor to care for your husband and assist
Are some families going to reject your recommen- you and your family throughout your grief journey. With
dations? Absolutely! But don’t let those failed attempts your permission, I would be happy to contact the hospital
prevent you from taking that game-winning shot. and have our team transfer him into our care.”
Here is a Knock I have used a thousand times and Another simple knock is “Mrs. Smith, I have some
have been successful hundreds of times. However, prior time later today or in the morning for us to meet, which
to my using it, I was trained by others to tell the family a would be better for you?”
different response that was in no way a knock but rather In closing, my wife has always told our kids, “If
a nail. Hopefully, it can be used by you to provide greater you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” For all of us in
value to your client and additional revenues to your busi- funeral service, if you don’t A.S.K., your results won’t
ness. I’ll start with the nail and finish with the knock. improve. Need help crafting your questions and solu-
• Background: The family has elected a non-ceremo- tions? Give me a call or shoot me an email, I’m happy to
nial cremation in a cardboard alternative container. help! 
They have said they are going to take the ashes out
and scatter them in the Gulf of Mexico on their boat John T. McQueen, CFSP, is the Director of Client Experience
at The Foresight Companies, a Phoenix-based business and
next month.
• The Nail: “In that case, you won’t need an urn. We’ll
management consulting firm specializing in mergers and
acquisitions, valuations, strategic planning, financing, human
just return the ashes in the cardboard box that’s pro- resources, customer experience, and compliance services. He
vided by the crematory.” This is not the response you is co-author, with Nikki McQueen, of Lessons From the Dead:
want to give, yet many funeral professionals still use it Breathing Life Into Customer Service. John has an MBA with
today. Perhaps they feel they’re helping the family or specialization in hospitality management from Florida Atlantic
saving them money. University. He can be reached at 800-426-0165 or john@
• The Knock: “Have you ever scattered cremated theforesightcompanies.com . Check out additional insights and
remains before in the Gulf? Client responds, “No.” You educational information at www.theforesightcompanies.com.
respond, “As you can imagine, when you are three Connect with John and Foresight by following them on Twitter,
nautical miles offshore and the wind is blowing and the LinkedIn and Facebook.

28 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


Your Partner in Profitability

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Page 29

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OH, the wonder of beautifully crafted taglines! Those few
strategically selected words that sum up everything your
business stands for and what you want your target audience to know about you.

They’ve made companies fortunes by telling people business. Alternatively, anonymity, or swimming in
what makes them stand out in the sea of sameness. the center of a school of other fish may be a good
Consider FedEx’s brilliant “When it absolutely, pos- survival tactic if you are an anchovy but it is not
itively has to be there overnight.” Nine simple words a good survival tactic for business. So, you must
that tell FedEx buyers precisely what they’re going to wonder why so much marketing—and so many mar-
get, while simultaneously informing all its employees keters—feel the need to play follow-the-leader with
what their mission is. What if FedEx’s slogan was “We respect to marketing trends.
ship things fast!”? Would it be as memorable? The logic is that if others have done something
Would Nike have been as successful had it successfully, you just need to do the same thing.
allowed an executive committee to red-pencil “Just Then again, maybe not. As we all know, break-
do it” into “When you need great running shoes”? through products and breakthrough marketing
How would BMW’s vision have changed if “The campaigns are not achieved through conformity.
Ultimate Driving Machine” had become “Our cars Note the word “break” in breakthrough. These are
are fun to drive!”? the products and campaigns that break the rules.
My point is that these companies didn’t settle for These are the products and campaigns that use
weak platitudes or vague, generalized statements insight, intuition, experience, sensitivity to the mar-
that could have applied to their competitors. Nope, ketplace—and the most important thing … cour-
they decided they weren’t going to settle. Instead, age—to do things differently. To break away from
standing out and differentiating themselves was the status quo. And for anything that has to do with
business critical. marketing funeral products and services to consum-
Can the same be said for your company and its ers, the need is greatest.
marketing? Do you have a theme line or slogan that
makes you stand out? Is it unique and memorable? Be Memorable
Or is it mediocre because somewhere down the line, Ask yourself why it is that you remember specific
people settled? marketing messages from certain companies or even
your competitors. It’s not because they look or sound
Human Nature like every other company or they use business babble
Let’s face it; we have a tendency to settle. Or pick that says nothing. Not a chance. You remember them
the first “right” answer. It’s almost human nature. because they had a very a distinctive message. They
We settle for something that’s not just quite ideal, an were captivating and that’s the shortcut to persua-
outfit that isn’t our absolutely best look, a job that sion and selling more. And in a competitive environ-
doesn’t maximize our talents, or an ad or website ment, the most captivating option ALWAYS wins.
that’s okay or just “good enough.” While the act of Always! But you must figure out what to say and
compromise in life, relationships, and particularly what makes you stand out.
conflict is an admirable trait, compromise or “settling It is certainly true that most companies don’t have
for” in marketing is a death knell. that innate insight and courage to be successfully
The whole point of your marketing activities different. We can’t all be like Steve Jobs. But for those
is to get noticed, get engaged with your audience, who are willing to do things differently, for those
and have your efforts be acted upon to bring in the who want their companies to stand out, then the

30 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


a t a G r e at
Wh Do
l i n e C a n
Tag e r a l
r F u n
for You
Business t
ech
f Gutkn
by Rol


STOCK.ADOBE.COM / ARGUS
NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 31
NAILED IT!

only rule that matters is: You cannot achieve exceptional success 2. What medium makes the most sense for your brand?
through conformity. Meaning, if a prospective family or customer The goal is to create marketing messaging that drives conversation
were to look at your competitor or other available options, would and ultimately revenue. What imaginative or different ways should
your firm’s specialness be CLEARLY evident? be explored and implemented? Look at all the possible media selec-
To that end, you can have your brand and product/service tions there are today (while considering which audiences consume
stand out if you want to be seen as the more fascinating option. which media most) and think about how you could maximize the
For starters, ask yourself these three questions: channel inventively.
Don’t be mentally handcuffed thinking that just one avenue (e.g.,
1. What can you say about your company that’s seen as a unique online) is the only or best option. In some cases, it might be. In
or a fresh alternative to your competitors?  others, it definitely isn’t. For example, if online firms believed that
This can range from the product or service you offer to the way you do online was the only right answer to their marketing efforts, you’d
business to that of sharing your wisdom. never see their outdoor boards, TV,
Think beyond the obvious: print ads, or hear their radio spots, etc.,
• “We have 3 hearses, and the other Do you think everybody loved which they use A LOT of and spend A
firm only has 2” isn’t. LOT of money on. You see, they know
• “Our cemetery has been around “Got Milk?” when it was first people don’t just live online.
for 100 years” isn’t.
• “Our software is fast and easy” isn’t.
presented? Bad English, 3. How will you execute your
You get the idea. Dig deeper. Ask negative tone, no benefit. campaign?
yourself a bunch of “So what does that Don’t risk looking amateurish or waste
mean?” and “Why would our customer money by trying to save money. People
care?” with each answer that’s given. take their cues on whether a company is “right for them” based on
You see, the customer doesn’t care about your products or ser- a variety of things with one of the most important being how the
vices as much as you do. They only care about what you have in the message is presented.
context of “what’s in it for me.” And that means being fascinating Be big with a Big Idea, even if it means that some people might
and staying away from “plain-Jane, boring” messaging. not love it. (Do you think everybody loved “Got Milk?” when it was
The reason boring messaging is something your company first presented? Bad English, negative tone, no benefit.)
should avoid like the plague is because you don’t see the underlying
harm it causes. You never see the customers who don’t show up. Seek Help
You have no idea of the business that you’re not getting because Step out of the messaging box you’ve put yourself in and say
your messaging isn’t memorable, or it hasn’t been passed along things that are unexpected. Sameness never gets noticed or acted
person-to-person. upon. If you have to go to an outside firm or supplier to find
And as bad as that is, the folks you want to attract to and have talented solutions, do it. But, for your sake, don’t settle for an
a look at your message, they don’t see you as being of any value. uninspired idea.
You’re part of the herd. So, what you thought was a safe option is in Clearly, whether it is investing in advertising, developing more
fact one of the riskiest things you can do. To stand out, to be differ- creativity, spending the time to follow up, or making the effort to
ent, to be memorable, takes boldness. engage with your customers, smart business requires that you
elevate your marketing past the point of blah to Wow—
especially if your competitor sees life as being too short to
settle for blah.
Just as winning athletes don’t settle, you have to go
all-out to win in the race for more customers and
a stronger bottom line. Reaching for brilliance
every time is the key. 

Rolf Gutknecht is president and CEO of LA ads, a full-


service marketing firm specializing in helping
success oriented funeral homes, cemeteries,
manufacturers, and service providers
create compelling marketing messaging
and develop impactful marketing
programs to grow their business.
Rolf can be reached at rolfg@
laadsmarketing.com or 800-991-0625
ext. 2. Check out the LAads website by
visiting www.laadsmarketing.com.

32 
MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com
“C&J is a valuable partner in
helping not only our cash flow,
but they also allow our team
to focus on families while they
handle the time-consuming
assignment details.”

David Lee Hernández Jr.


Principal at Jersey Memorial Group

Ad Name
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firms reduce accounts receivables, increase
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To Get Ahead, by Welton Hong

You Need to Cheat


I
f you ever watched movies or television series from the 1980s or 1990s involving a
high school or college setting, you’ve likely seen someone create a cheat sheet. From answers written on the
bottom of a shoe to notes scribbled on the palm of a hand, these cheats rarely work, and the culprits often
learn a valuable lesson about the importance of honesty and doing the right thing.
Don’t worry. This article isn’t about that kind of cheating. Obviously, one of the most important things you can
do with your deathcare marketing efforts is build trust with local families. You wouldn’t do anything that might be
considered dishonest, and I’d never suggest you do.
Instead, this article is about laying the groundwork to make it as easy as possible for search engine bots and
artificial intelligence or AI to understand what your deathcare website’s pages are about, making Google more
likely to rank them higher in search results for the right keywords. These kinds of “cheats” actually make your
pages more transparent!

Keywords as a “Cheat” for Search Engines human reader would have no problem understanding
Keywords are technically a “cheat” for search engines. that the content was about affordable or cheap funeral
Consider the example of a page about budget-conscious arrangements.
funeral options. Two phrases that come up when doing But while machine language processing (the tech-
keyword research for this topic are “affordable funeral nology that lets search engines understand what web-
arrangements” and “cheap funeral arrangements.” pages are about) has come a long way, search engines
You could technically write an entire page or blog still need some help connecting the dots. By incorpo-
post on budget-conscious funeral options without rating those key phrases, you confirm for the search
using these keyword phrases even once. The content engines that your content is indeed about those topics
might even be exceptional and inform the reader, and a and might be a good match for those queries.

34 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


Keywords Are
Your Cheat
Sheet for
Search Engines

What Other “Cheat Sheet” Items Should the URL for the page helps search engines (and
You Employ? humans) easily see what the page might be about.
The right keywords are a critical place to start when it • H1 Titles: The H1 header for your page should
comes to optimizing your content to appear as high as include a keyword whenever possible to maximize
possible in search engine results, but it’s not enough to relevance to queries.
add the best keywords to your pages. That’s true even • Subheadings: Incorporating the primary keyword
if you’re adding keywords to high-quality, well-written or similar phrases into a few H2 or H3 subheadings
pages that demonstrate authority on your topic. enforces what your page is about.
While quality is incredibly important to content
marketing success, chances are another deathcare firm
is also investing in high-quality content and has the
knowledge and experience to back it up. Go the extra Meta titles (or page titles) can be any length,
mile by using some of the tips below to ensure search
engines know what your pages are about so they can
but Google only displays about 50 to 60
rank higher. characters, so it’s best to keep it short.
Add keywords in the right places.
Years ago, the SEO game was all about keyword den-
sity: You needed to get a key phrase on your page a It’s also a good idea to get the keyword into the first
certain number of times to stay competitive in search paragraph or two if possible and at least once in the
results. Today, it’s far more about placing keywords in body copy. However, you should never “force” keywords
the right places. into your copy at the expense of quality or readability.
Search engines recognize the following locations as If the human reader might stumble when reading or
“important” for demonstrating what a page is about: consider the content too repetitive or odd when you
• The URL: Including a version of the keyword in add keywords into these places, leave them out.


STOCK.ADOBE.COM / PAPER TRIDENT
NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 35
TO GET AHEAD, YOU NEED TO CHEAT

You have other “cheats” at your disposal to inform Use internal anchor text wisely.
search engines. Internal anchor links—links within your content to other
pages on your site—help visitors follow a path to con-
Write great meta descriptions and titles. version. They also help search engines understand what
The meta description and title help search engines your pages are about and how they relate to one another.
know what you think your content is about. They’re Make the most of internal links and anchor text by
usually displayed with the clickable link for your page linking to the most relevant information and using clear
in the search results, so they can help human searchers anchor text. One way to do this is to consider what
know whether your page might be the best match for might be a good keyword for the page you’re linking to
their query. and use that as the anchor text.
Meta titles (or page titles) can be any length, but For example, a funeral home site might have a blog
Google only displays about 50 to 60 characters, so it’s post on the benefits of preplanning. Which two of the
best to keep it short. Additionally, keeping it short helps following links would be most relevant to include on
ensure the search engine can easily parse the content this page?
and discern what you mean. • A link to a preplanning service landing page
• A link to a blog post about the costs of preplanning
• A link to a post on how to write a eulogy for a
loved one
The first two are most relevant. While preplanning
their arrangements, some people might be interested
in writing their own eulogy, but the target audience for
the eulogy blog post is more likely family members who
have experienced a loss. It might be better to link to
that blog post from pages about at-need services.
A possible keyword for the blog post on the costs of
preplanning might be “costs of preplanning a funeral,”
and that makes a great anchor text when linking to
that article. You don’t need special tools to figure out
some of this—as you can see, common sense goes a
long way!

Use structured data.


The ultimate “cheat sheet” for search engine bots,
Even starting with keywords and meta structured data, refers to markup language (or code)
that tells the search engine bot exactly what a piece of
descriptions can make a big difference in content is.
SEO performance, especially when you Effectively, markup says stuff like, “Here is a sub-
heading, which means this is what the following para-
pair it with high-quality content your graph is about,” or “Here is a question, and here is the
answer that goes with it.”
audience wants to see. You can use structured data to indicate phone num-
bers, addresses, business names, authors, and many
other important content elements.
The same is true for the meta description. Google Some of these SEO “cheat sheets” are easier to incor-
will display up to about 160 characters. You can typ- porate into your deathcare marketing than others. For
ically fit one or two decent sentences in that count, example, if you’re not sure how to manage structured
which is plenty of space to summarize what a page is data, you might want to work with a marketing or web
about and invite the reader to view it. design agency.
When possible, include the primary keyword or a Even starting with keywords and meta descriptions
version of it as soon as possible in both the meta title can make a big difference in SEO performance, espe-
and description. It’s worth spending a bit of time on cially when you pair it with high-quality content your
these short blurbs—if you don’t write one, Google will audience wants to see. 
pick a sentence from your content it believes demon-
strates what your page is about and include that instead. Welton Hong is the founder of Ring Ring Marketing and the
author of Making Your Phone Ring with Internet Marketing for
(It’s always better you make that choice than leaving it
Funeral Homes.
to chance.)

36 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


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Mount Auburn John Woolf has spent more than two


Celebrates the Work
decades photographing Mount Auburn Cemetery.
He appreciates Mount Auburn as an arboretum and

of John D. Woolf place of tranquility. “For years,” he adds, “I have


photographed sculpture and architecture, and I have
always been drawn to 19th-century iconography of
death. All that is there in the Cemetery.”
The imagery of mourning figures, ascending souls,
and guiding angels are constant themes in Woolf’s
work. He portrays memorial art through the aesthetic
lens of early photographic processes, finding cre-
ative ways of marrying 19th-century techniques with
21st-century digital imaging technology as seen in his
image of the Holbrook monument, in Lot 2697 Cen-
tral Avenue above.
In a process he calls “digital collodion,” Woolf
takes a digital image with his camera and then
imports the image into his iPhone. Only the iPhone,
he notes, has the software that enables him to cre-
ate the particular antique look he desires. He then
exports the image to his computer and edits it further
in Photoshop.


SHUTTERSTOCK / WANGKUN JIA
NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 39
THE ‘ART’ OF THE GRAVE

View of Sphinx and Bigelow Chapel Amos Binney monument, Lot 1390 Heath Path

Woolf’s photograph of the Dutton monument point,” Woolf says. “I use a lens with three to four times
exhibits an irregular, distressed look around the edges. the normal focal length and a large aperture so the
The image emulates the appearance of a 19th-century background blurs out.” In order to capture the Lucy
wet-plate negative, where the collodion emulsion that Brown monument, Woolf employed a long lens to sep-
was poured over the glass plate bled onto the edges, arate the sculpture from the trees. In the background,
creating an uneven surface on the negative and result- “you get this lovely blur,” he explains. “In photography,
ing print. Woolf’s photograph also looks like a tintype, there is a Japanese word ‘bokeh’, [meaning] the out-of-
another process in which collodion was applied to a tin focus quality that the lens produces.” Here, the enig-
plate leaving distressed edges and chemical corrosion. matic background seems to mimic the material qualities
He prints his images with an ink-jet printer onto tex- of the sculpture as well as the decay of the stone. “Many
tured cotton rag paper that produces photographs with of the pieces are made from marble which is adversely
a grainy, fibrous texture, similar to early photographic affected by air pollution and acid rain,” Woolf notes. “I
prints known as salted paper prints. see my photography as both documentation and art.”
Woolf employs software to create the optical effect Woolf says influences on his photography include
of early photographic lenses that produced images with Japanese woodblock prints with their formal dynamic
a sharply focused center and softly focused outer edges. of “movement through space from the foreground to
The soft focus of the background in the photography of the background.” He used a long focal lens to photo-
the Mary Baker Eddy monument gives a sense of move- graph the Sphinx and Bigelow Chapel. “With a normal
ment to the photograph, as though the foliage behind lens,” he explains, “you wouldn’t get this degree of
the monument is swaying in the breeze. Sometimes, spatial compression, which brings the background for-
Woolf adds a hint of color, such as the orange tint in the ward.” His composition achieves a striking juxtaposition
background of the image that appears as shining light, of the two historic Cemetery landmarks.
lending an ethereal quality to the scene. Woolf’s imaginative techniques lend a mystery
Woolf has worked for many years at the Museum of and patina to the memorials he photographs, many of
Fine Arts, Boston, where he has had extensive experi- which, like the 19th-century processes he draws inspi-
ence photographing sculpture. He understands the dif- ration from, were created in the 1800s. Woolf describes
ficulty of capturing monuments outdoors in a cemetery his art, which he likens to painting, as a multiple-step
setting where all the elements cannot be controlled. process. “I select from a range of effects for each image,”
Lighting, he notes, plays a critical role: “You want the he says. “Each image is unique.” His photographs evoke
light to show the volume and texture of the piece. I will the passage of time, reminding us of the beauty, fragil-
often go back three or four times for the same piece to ity, and ephemeral quality of the monuments and the
get the lighting just right.” souls they memorialize.
Isolating a memorial nestled among other monu- More of John Woolf’s “Art of the Grave” photogra-
ments or competing elements in the landscape also phy can be found on his website: http://www.jwoolf.
poses challenges. “I need to select a good vantage com/portfolios/funeralart. 

40 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


Ad Name
Page 41
42 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com
the Many
Burials of
John Wilkes Booth
by Todd Van Beck, CFuE Baltimore Native and Assassin
Finally Laid to Rest in Family Plot

F or years a mummified body claimed to be that of


John Wilkes Booth had traveled the carnival circuit
across the country. Thousands of gullible Americans
plopped down 25 cents to view the mummified remains
of, well the sign said, “John Wilkes Booth.”
The very idea that John Wilkes Booth had escaped and lived to be an old man in
Oklahoma was utterly dumbfounding when this news was first announced. Who would
have thought up such a story? Finis Bates from Memphis, that’s who!
Then an offer was made in 1920 to sell the cadaver by its longtime owner Finis Bates.
This offer strangely was made to the publishers of The Dearborn Independent in Michi-
gan. The asking price was an even sum of $1,000.
F.L. Black, a private detective, was hired by the newspaper and assigned the task of
thoroughly investigating the claims of Finis Bates, the owner of the mummy. Bates had
even authored a book attempting to show that Booth was never captured. The Bates
book titled “The Escape and Suicide of John Wilkes Booth” was already published and had
sold over 70,000 copies. Now Bates wanted to rid himself of the Booth mummy.
Detective F.L. Black spent many months running down stories that claimed that the
assassin of President Abraham Lincoln had escaped. Black was successful in proving that
the entire Bates story and similar efforts were totally and wholly unreliable. So what did
happen to the corpse of John Wilkes Booth?

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 43


THE MANY BURIALS OF JOHN WILKES BOOTH

Painstaking Identification
The account of the death and several burials of John
Wilkes Booth tell a fascinating story, which is of partic-
ular interest to funeral professionals.
The burning question was this: Was the man shot
in the Garrett tobacco barn in Virginia actually John
Wilkes Booth? The answer is and was a definitive YES!
It is doubtful if many murderers carried in their
possession and on their very bodies more marks of
absolute identification than did John Wilkes Booth. A
pin removed from his shirt when it was unbuttoned
to allow him to breathe more freely after he was shot
bore this inscription, “Dan Bryant to J.W. Booth.” From
Booth’s pockets were taken a diary in which he had
written in his own hand episodes of his escape. And
Advertisement for John H. Weaver, Baltimore Undertaker
then a bank check was also found in his wallet made out
to John Wilkes Booth.
On February 10, 1937, Dr. Louis A. Warren, a highly employ of undertaker John H. Weaver who was given
respected Lincoln scholar, traveled to Baltimore to the charge of making the final burial of Booth in Balti-
interview a funeral director named Henry W. Mears. more’s Green Mount Cemetery. Weaver was the best
Henry Mears had grown up with Booth in Baltimore. known undertaker in Baltimore for decades. In fact, if
Both boys lived on Exeter Street. you wanted to receive the finest funeral service in the
At the Booth home, brothers John and Edwin Booth old city of Baltimore, there was only one place to go and
would organize private theatrical performances, the that was Weaver’s.
casts of which were filled out with young friends. One Weaver lay to rest most of Baltimore’s most prom-
regular young actor was funeral director Henry W. inent society ladies, business tycoons (like Johns
Mears, who almost to his 91st birthday, held the unique Hopkins of the university and hospital fame), the blue
position of being one of the last direct links with John bloods, and the notorious. Weaver had buried John
Wilkes Booth. Henry and John knew each other very Wilkes Booth’s mother. Mears, who succeeded Weaver,
well and remained friends throughout the Civil War. buried Booth’s sister and numerous other Booth family
As a young funeral director, Mears was in the members.

44 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


John Wilkes Booth was shot at 2:30 friend of Booth’s, viewed the remains and
a.m. on the morning of April 26, and died made positive identification. Even Alex-
at 7:00 a.m. on the porch of the Garrett ander Gardner, the well-known Wash-
farmhouse where he had been placed ington photographer (who had photo-
shortly after the shooting. graphed Lincoln and Booth many times),
Around 8:30 a.m., Booth’s body was came to the warship and made positive
wrapped in an army blanket and later the identification.
corpse was sewed in a gunny sack. By Booth’s own dentist, William Merrill
using a wide plank of wood as a stretcher, (1833–1918), who was a prominent Wash-
the body of Booth was placed in a wagon ington, D.C. dentist, identified Booth as
and taken from the Garrett farm near Port the patient who Merrill had restored two
Royal in Caroline County, Virginia, to of Booth’s teeth with gold fillings a few
Belle Plain on the Potomac River. Booth days before the assassination. The gold fill-
was hoisted up the side and swung upon ings were right where Merrill had installed
the deck of the steamer John S. Ide and them in Booth’s mouth.
was transported up the Potomac River to Finally, young funeral director Henry
Alexandria, Virginia, where the body was W. Mears, Booth’s boyhood chum, made
transferred to a government tug boat sent positive identification. No doubt the dead
out from Washington to meet the steamer. man lying on the carpenter’s bench was
Dr. John Frederick May, Booth Physician
The body of Booth was transferred at indeed John Wilkes Booth.
10:40 p.m. The tug boat’s destination was Surgeon General Joseph K. Barnes, Dr.
the monitor, Montauk, which was docked at the U.S. Navy Yard. Joseph Janiver Woodward, and Dr. George Brainard Todd per-
(A monitor was a relatively small warship that was neither fast nor formed the post-mortem examination on Booth aboard the deck of
strongly armored but carried disproportionately large guns.) the Montauk.
The Montauk was During the autopsy,
ordered from the U.S. It was also reported that Booth’s cause of death it was recorded that
Navy Yard to pull out into Booth’s left leg and foot
the eastern branch of the was a gun shot through his neck, which would were encased in a splint
Anacostia River and at and bandages. This was
1:45 a.m. On Thursday,
have caused immediate paralysis. Booth was further indication that
April 27, the day following fully conscious during his death experience and the dead man was Booth
Booth’s death, the body because it was already
was transferred from the he lingered for two hours before dying. well known that some-
tug to the war ship. how when Booth jumped
from the box at Ford’s Theater, or possibly his own horse fell on
The Autopsy on John Wilkes Booth him, he broke his left leg by a fracture of the fibula. The physicians
Once aboard the Montauk, Booth’s remains were laid out on an also reported considerable bruising and swelling of this portion of
improvised bier, which was a rough carpenter’s bench. The army Booth’s left leg.
horse blanket was removed and a tarpaulin was placed over the body. It was also reported that Booth’s cause of death was a gun shot
At 11:00 a.m., the autopsy began and a coroner’s inquest was through his neck, which would have caused immediate paralysis.
held. The post-mortem examination and coroner’s inquest were Booth was fully conscious during his death experience and he lin-
finished by 2:00 p.m. gered for two hours before dying.
Charles Dawson, the clerk at the National Hotel in Washing- With the personal testimony of highly credible people who
ton where Booth usually stayed, positively identified Booth by actually knew John Wilkes Booth and with the pin, with Booth’s
the initials “J.W.B.” tattooed in India ink own diary, and the bank check in his name,
on the right hand between the thumb and supplemented by the tattooed initials on
forefinger. his hand, the scar on his neck and the filling
Of great important was the presence of in a tooth, is it possible to conceive a more
Dr. John Frederick May. Sometime prior to dependable and irrefutable identification?
the assassination, Dr. May had removed a In this writer’s humble opinion, if there be
large fibroid tumor from Booth’s neck. Dr. a mystery associated with the death of John
May now found and identified the scar from Wilkes Booth, it does not relate directly to
his operation on the corpse’s neck exactly him but to the strange and unusual methods
where it should have been. that educated and intelligent men have pur-
Other witnesses such as Seaton Mun- sued in an attempt to perpetuate an utterly
roe, a prominent Washington attorney and groundless myth, which claims that the man

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 45


THE MANY BURIALS OF JOHN WILKES BOOTH

who murdered Abraham Lincoln was never apprehended


and died an old man in Oklahoma. Receiving Vault of John H. Weaver,
Green Mount Cemetery, Baltimore
The First Interment of John Wilkes
Booth—1865
At Secretary of War Edwin McMasters Stanton’s order,
the body of Booth, now fully identified was again
wrapped in the same clothes he was delivered in and
about 3:00 p.m. under the direction of Captain Lafay-
ette Baker, two men in a row boat took the body to the
east side of the Old Penitentiary on the Washington
Arsenal grounds in what is now Fr. Lesley
J. McNair.
At midnight, the store keeper of the
arsenal, Mr. Stebbins, and four men
placed the body on a wagon bed and
removed it to a storage room called the
Summer House. This building had a dirt transfer of Booth’s body was given to the undertaking
floor, and was 40’ by 15’. A shallow exca- firm of Harvey & Marr. Interestingly, it was this same
vation had been made in the extreme firm that furnished the magnificent casket for Abraham
southeast corner of this large room. Lincoln. When Booth’s body was transferred to Harvey
A used gun box had been prepared & Marr’s hearse the driver was a young undertaker
by order of the Secretary of Navy, named W.R. Speare. Speare, two decades later, would be
Gideon Welles, and had been set in the most prominent undertaker in Washington, D.C.,
the grave. The body of Booth, still and be charged with overseeing the Washington, D.C.,
wrapped in the blanket and gunny funeral of assassinated President James A. Garfield.
sack, was placed in the box and the Edwin Booth, brother of John Wilkes Booth, accom-
grave was covered with a stone slab panied the Harvey & Marr undertakers to the place of
and dirt level with the floor. interment at the storehouse. At this exhumation, the
The other living conspirators in corpse was again positively identified and once again
the assassination of Lincoln were William Merrill the dentist reconfirmed the dental
being held in this same peniten- work he had done for John Wilkes Booth. Another
tiary. Surratt, Powell, Herold, Atzerodt (who coroner’s inquest was held in the stable of Harvey &
would be hanged in July) and Dr. Mudd, McLaughlin, Marr Undertakers. The door to the stable of Harvey &
Arnold and Spangler. Marr Undertakers faced directly to the Baptist Alley.
The other door that faced directly to Baptist Alley was
The Second Interment: The Storehouse Ford’s Theater. John Wilkes Booth had to pass right by
Depository—1867 Harvey & Marr’s stable door after assassinating Lincoln.
In 1867, the building standing over the grave of Booth Now Booth was in the same vicinity again.
was razed to provide room for the War College and Edwin Booth had his brother’s remains placed in a
office quarters. The body of Booth was exhumed and new casket and the body was taken to the train station
placed in a pine box and removed to and locked in a for the trip to Baltimore. Upon arrival in Baltimore, the
large storehouse in Warehouse 1 situated on the eastern remains of John Wilkes Booth were placed in the care
side of the arsenal grounds. Booth was placed beside and charge of the well-known Baltimore undertaker,
the bodies of the other four conspirators (Surratt, Pow- John H. Weaver.
ell, Herold and Atzerodt) who also had paid the penalty The morning after the arrival of the body at Weaver’s
on conspiring to overthrow the U.S. government with undertaking rooms in Baltimore, Henry C. Wagner and
the lives. The name Booth was now painted on the box William M. Pegram viewed the body. Pegram made this
containing his body to positively identify it from the statement for the press:
others.
“Mr. Wagner and I looked at the body as it lay
dressed in the suit of clothes in which he had been
The Third Burial: Entombed In the Weaver
shot. On the right leg was a long cavalry boot
Vault—1869
coming up to the knee. The left leg was disjointed at
On February 18, 1869, by permission of President
both the knee and ankle . . . The skin was still drawn
Andrew Johnson, the body of John Wilkes Booth was
tightly over the grinny skull, which the splendid
removed to Baltimore. The duties of disinterment and

46 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


teeth for which Booth was noted, there being only a single filling
which was identified by the dentist who did the work. The coal The body of John Wilkes Booth was
black hair which rolled back from the forehead had grown nearly taken from the Weaver Vault on June 22
a foot. The family fully identified the body as that of John Wilkes and placed in the lot with other mem-
Booth, all doubts to the contrary notwithstanding.” bers of the Booth family and his name
appears on the family obelisk with the
The above testimony was also confirmed by Henry C. Wagner, others; although Booth’s exact burial
who stated, “I hereby certify that the said statement is absolutely space is marked with a small stone with
correct.” The body was then placed by undertaker Weaver in his no name on it.
own vault at Green Mount Cemetery. Mears affirmed in this interview that
“I saw the body of John Wilkes Booth
Final Burial In the Booth Lot—1869 lowered into the grave, and I identified
On the 18th of February 1869, Booth’s remains were deposited in his body positively before we closed the
Weaver’s private vault at Green Mount Cemetery awaiting warmer casket lid forever.”
weather for digging a grave. For many years, Mears had charge
The last burial for John Wilkes Booth occurred in Green Mount of the Booth lot and at one time, upon
Cemetery on June 22, 1869—at night. Pallbearers made up of the the request of Edwin Booth, Mears
theatrical profession in Baltimore carried Booth to his grave by was commissioned to beautify the lot.
torchlight. There were about 40 people at the final death ritual for Mears said each grave was discussed
John Wilkes Booth. with the brother, Edwin Booth, and
when they came to the grave of John
Wilkes Booth, Mears asked him what he
wanted to do about the nameless grave.
Edwin Booth turned to Mears and said,
“Let it remain as it is, unmarked.”

The cemetery argued that its solemn


duty was to protect the sanctity
of those interred unless there was
overwhelming evidence that the
body buried there was not Booth’s.

In 1877, the year that John H. Weaver died, Henry W. Mears took
over the undertaking company. He died in 1938 at the age of 91.
In October 1994, a petition was filed in the Circuit Court for
Baltimore City to exhume John Wilkes Booth’s remains from Green
Mount Cemetery. The petitioners were people who identified them-
Booth Family Plot—Green Mount Cemetery, Baltimore
selves as Booth’s relatives. The cemetery argued that its solemn
duty was to protect the sanctity of those interred unless there was
Booth was born a Roman Catholic but had changed to Episcopa- overwhelming evidence that the body buried there was not Booth’s.
lian. The graveside services were presided over by the Rt. Rev. Flem- Judge Joseph H.H. Kaplan ruled that the evidence for exhumation
ing James, an Episcopal priest visiting Baltimore from New York. was insufficient.
When his parishioners in New York learned that he had officiated Thus ends the post-mortem journey of John Wilkes Booth. 
at the reburial of Lincoln’s killer, they fired him. Rev. James moved
permanently to Baltimore where he experienced a successful career Todd W. Van Beck, CFuE, is one of the most sought-after speakers and
educators in funeral service. Currently on staff at the Cincinnati College
as a parish priest.
of Mortuary Science, Todd has operated funeral homes, cemeteries and
Henry W. Mears, the lifelong friend of John Wilkes Booth,
mortuary colleges, and confesses that he has been a vagabond throughout
proved to be the final and most reliable person who could posi- his career, simply because he wanted to see the world. In 2014, Todd
tively identify John Wilkes Booth. In the 1937 interview, Mears received the first-ever Lasting Impact Award from the ICCFA Educational
who witnessed the final interment of the assassin stated that the Foundation. Todd has written numerous books, among them, Exploring the
Booth family lot had originally been in the old Baltimore Cemetery Heart of Funeral Service; Reverence for the Dead: The Unavoidable Link; and
in 1869 where the family acquired burial spaces in the prestigious The Genius of Frank E. Campbell, all of which are on Amazon.
Green Mount Cemetery.

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 47


Prose for
the Quietus
of Life
Inside Our Dreams
Where do people go to when they die?
Somewhere down below or in the sky?
‘I can’t be sure,’ said Grandad, ‘but it seems
They simply set up home inside our dreams.’
—Jeanne Willis

48 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


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50 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


INDUSTRY DEVELOPMENTS

Affirming LGBTQIA+ People


During the Funeral Process
by Marc Markell

I
N THE PAST, LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE have not been the focus of much discussion legally married in Mississippi in 2015. Bob
concerning funeral services. Now, however, this population is getting more noticed, was at the end of life, so their nephew, John
more acknowledged, and funeral directors are getting more education about the unique Gaspari, made arrangements with Picayune
needs of this group. Funeral Home to cremate Bob’s body after
his death. Picayune Funeral Home had an
on-site crematorium—the only cremato-
Discrimination Against LGBTQIA+ people were killed, and many killings went rium in Pearl River County.
Although equity for LGBTQIA+ people unreported or were misreported. The After Bob died on May 11, 2016, the
has gotten better in the United States in majority of transgender or gender non-con- nursing home gave Picayune Funeral Home
recent years, there is also a major backlash forming people killed have been Black and the necessary information confirming Bob’s
against this emerging equality. States are Latina/x trans women. death and identifying Jack as his husband.
proposing and enacting laws to limit what In addition to the types of discrimina- Picayune Funeral Home allegedly refused to
children and adolescents can read and hear tion mentioned above, there is the pos- pick up Bob’s body and perform the crema-
in schools about LGBTQIA+. sibility that something like the following tion because Bob and Jack were married.
Twenty-eight states can still legally dis- scenario may happen to LGBTQIA+ as they Jack and John scrambled to locate
criminate based on sexual orientation and are planning a funeral or memorial for a another funeral home with an on-site cre-
31 states can discriminate based on gender loved one: matorium. They located one in Hattiesburg,
identity or expression. In 2021, at least 50 Jack and Bob were a couple for 52 years about 90 miles away. Because Bob’s body
transgender or gender non-conforming who lived in Picayune, MS. They became could not be kept at the nursing home for
the hours it would take for the Hattiesburg
Ally a person in a dominant group who works to support and hearse to arrive, the family had to find yet
advocate alongside an oppressed people (LGBTQIA Re- another funeral home in Picayune willing to
source Center, LGBTQIA Resource Center Glossary) transport Bob’s body to Hattiesburg. A law-
suit was filed against The Picayune Funeral
Cisgender (CIS) describes a person whose gender identity and expression
Home, which denied refusing to cremate
is the same as their birth gender (GLSEN, 2014, p. 2). 
Bob’s body.
Gender non-conforming Describes a gender expression that is not dichotomous; This and other similar situations may
(non-binary) therefore, not following the society’s norms of male and concern LGBTQIA+ people as they start
female (National LGBT Health Education Center, 2016, p. 3).  arrangements for a loved one. They may
Pansexual (pan) A term used to describe a person who is emotionally and/ need assurance from the funeral pro-
or physically attracted to specific people, regardless of fessionals that they will be treated with
their gender identity (GLSEN, 2014, p. 3).  respect and dignity (adapted from an article
Queer Queer is often used to include people who do not identi- appearing on CNN, May 2, 2017, Emanuella
fy as only straight and/or people who identify as gender Grinberg).
non-binary or gender expansive. This term was used in the
past as a slur but has been reclaimed by many LGBTQIA+ Looking for Assurances
people as an inclusive term (LGBTQIA Resource Center, The following are important for funeral
LGBTQIA Resource Center Glossary) directors to remember:

Transgender (trans) a term used to describe people whose gender identity is


• It is important for the funeral director
to treat same sex partner, boy/girlfriend,
different from the sex they were given at birth. Trans is a
spouse with the same level of acknowl-
gender orientation not a sexual orientation. Using words
edgement and respect as all members of
like transvestite, tranny, or shemale are pejorative and
the family. and include them as part of
insulting (Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Defini-
the family.
tions, Human Rights Campaign)
• Don’t assume last names of spouses (this

52 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


is true for same or other sex couples). Funeral directors are in the unique position of helping
• Don’t assume what type of relationship a
same sex couple or trans person has with to start the healing part of the grieving process.
the rest of their family. A same sex couple Always opt to help rather than harm.
or trans family member may have a close,
distant, accepting, affirming, conflicted
relationship with others • Avoid “deadnaming.” Deadnaming is “Transgender” is an appropriate term
• Refer to people the way they are referring to a transgender person by for non-transgender people to use.
introduced: their birth name if they identify by Other terms funeral director may have
• If a person is introduced as a partner, another name. For example, if a person heard are likely outdated and would be
refer to the person as “your partner.” was identified as a male at birth and considered disrespectful and a slur.
• Wife/Husband named Albert, but as an adult she iden- Transgender is correctly used as an
• Spouse tifies as a female and goes by the name adjective not a noun. Therefore, saying
• Person’s Name Alice, it would be deadnaming to refer “transgender people” or “people who are
• Don’t assume religious or nonreligious to Alice as Albert. transgender” is appropriate. However,
affiliation. There are many LGBTQIA+ • Identifying as transgender is not a “transgenders” can be viewed as disrespect-
people who are religious, and others mental illness; it is a gender identity. ful. Use of the term “transgendered” is also
who are not religious. It can be bene- Children as young as 3 years old, inappropriate because it is not grammat-
ficial not to assume anyone’s religious as well as adolescents, adults, and ically correct. Transgender is an adjective
affiliation. elder adults, identify as transgender. not a verb.

<RXU2QH6RXUFHIRU&HPHWHU\)XQHUDO+RPHDQG%XULDO9DXOW
(TXLSPHQW0DQXIDFWXULQJWKH+LJKHVW4XDOLW\3URGXFWV6LQFH

ƒVDOHV#KROODQGVXSSO\LQFFRPRUYLVLWZZZKROODQGVXSSO\LQFFRP

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 53


INDUSTRY DEVELOPMENTS

Things to avoid saying: • Family dynamics We need to serve everyone with dignity,
• “Are you the man or woman in the • Some LGBTQ+ people are out and… respect, and genuine affirmation. Funeral
relationship…?” • Their partners are not acknowledged directors are in the unique position of help-
• “I would never guess you were a male by family of origin ing to start the healing part of the grieving
in the past…” • Some are disowned process. Always opt to help rather than
• “I have gay/ lesbian/ trans friends…” • Some are told they are “a disappoint- harm. 
• “I would never have guessed that you ment”, “going to hell”, “an abomination”…
were gay/lesbian…” • Only out to some family members Marc Markell is professor emeritus

• “I didn’t know homosexuals could be


at St. Cloud State University in the
Department of Special Education.
Muslim/Christian/Jewish/Buddhist…” What Funeral Homes Can Do He also teaches psychology at
• “How did (the deceased) feel about you • Have visual displays of support (rainbow Worsham College of Mortuary
being lesbian/gay/trans…?” flag…) Science. Marc taught Cultural and
• “You are so brave being out…” • Refer to people by gender neutral terms Religious Diversity in Death and
• “Are your children adopted or real…?” if you are unaware of preferred term Dying as well as co-taught Psychology of Funeral
• “When did you know you were a gay/ (spouse, special friend, … rather than Arrangements. In addition, Marc teaches an online
lesbian/trans….?” wife, husband, boy/girlfriend) class for a university in Korea. He also teaches Our
• “Are all gay/trans people as nice as • In informational materials about funeral Whole Lives for K–1st and 4th–5th graders and
you…?” services, specifically use LGBTQ+ Death Education to 2nd, 3rd, 6th and 7th graders at

• Some people feel compelled to hide their • Have gender neutral bathrooms Mayflower United Church of Christ. Marc has earned

sexual orientation or gender identity • Have a presence at LGBTQ+ events…


the following certifications/training from national

• Some people feel shame because of mes- such as Pride Festivals


professional organizations: Thanatologist, End of
Life Doula, Crematory Operator, Funeral Arranger,
sages from: • Advertise for your funeral home ser- and Celebrant.
• Religion vices and employment in LGBTQ+
• Culture publications

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54 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


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BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT

Virtual Pet Memorialization


Enhance Your Revenue by Enhancing the Experience
by Cory Stephens

L
OVE WITHOUT CONDITION is a kind of love that we all strive to give. What
makes our pets so remarkable is that, while humans can sometimes struggle to
provide unconditional love, our pets do it instinctively. That is why saying goodbye
to our furry family members can feel uniquely traumatic. The only thing they gave was love
and loyalty and they expected very little in return.

While humans have been memorializ-


ing pets for thousands of years, there is no Virtual memorials
doubt a cultural stigma related to grieving
the loss of a pet in today’s society. The idea help your clients
that “it’s just a cat/dog/bird/pig” has become
pervasive, forcing us to pretend like these honor the selfless
creatures were not our friends or our family.
Thankfully, that stigma is fading and
fewer people are denying the innate emo-
love and loyalty
tional need to memorialize beloved furry
friends. This is clearly demonstrated in
given by their
the vast array of products and services we
use to spoil our pet in life as well as the
beloved pets.
new technologies and products available
to memorialize them—both in person and Live stream and record a memorial be there to show support and process their
virtually. service own grief. For example, consider the college
Many pet funeral homes offer simple Many pet owners are now choosing to student studying out-of-state who suddenly
obituary webpages. Here are three ways perform a formal memorial service for their learns of the passing of their childhood pet.
to go above and beyond with your virtual pets. Offering to live stream those services Once the live stream is finished, a
memorialization offerings: allows close friends and family that can’t recording of the service can then be avail-
able for anyone who couldn’t be there or
would like to rewatch the ceremony as part
of their grieving process. Any stories or
special moments that were shared can be
rewatched and kept forever.

Crowdsource photos and videos


Today, everyone has a camera in their
pockets — likely during the entire life of
your pet. This means that the pet owner, as
well as their close friends and family, likely
have hundreds of photos and videos of the
beloved pet locked away. Why not create
a place where everyone can share those
memories?
With a simple email invite, friends and
family can upload photos and videos of the
pet to create a diverse collection of mem-
ories. What remains is a full tapestry of
memories for everyone to enjoy.

56 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


client’s face when you deliver that as part of
your aftercare program!
With the right technology partner,
integrating these virtual memorialization
options into your business can be quick,
easy, and profitable. Virtual memorials help
your clients honor the selfless love and
loyalty given by their beloved pets.
Increase revenue while simultaneously
assisting your clients along their grief jour-
ney—a win-win. 

Cory Stephens is the president


and founder of Forget Me Not
Ceremonies Inc. Since 2018,
Forget Me Not Ceremonies has
Create a physical memento of the something truly special: a physical photo- been connecting families
virtual service book that includes all of the notes of com- around the world through the
With all these memories collected in one fort, photos, and memories shared. Take live streaming of funeral
place, there’s an opportunity to create a moment to consider the look on your services and crowd-sourcing of memories.

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NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 57


MEMBER NEWS

Cast Bronzes from the


World War I Memorial
by Zita Ballinger Fletcher
via the HistoryNet.com web site (from Doughboy Foundation newsletter)

SABIN HOWARD is a master figurative Is this the first time you have depicted me most was when I started the project—I
sculptor and authority on modern classicism. human figures at war, and have you started looking at pictures on Google of the
Raised in New York and Torino, Italy, he stud- found it challenging to capture violent people involved in the conflict. They remind
ied at the Philadelphia College of Art, earned conflict in art? me of my young daughters. There’s a scene I
an MFA from the New York Academy of Art It is the first time, absolutely. It’s not the saw where these guys, who must have been,
and taught undergraduate- and graduate-lev- concept of doing violence in art. When I was like, 19 or 20, are on a train saying goodbye to
el art for 20 years. In 2016 the World War I posing models in the beginning in my studio, their girlfriends, moms and dads. There is such
Centennial Commission (created by an act of dressing them in uniform and coming up with an innocence to it. That was very impactful,
Congress in 2013) chose Howard to sculpt a the story line it became emotional, because I because we are descendants of these people.
bronze relief for the National World War I Me- realized how tragic this war was. If you look It has deeply affected our society in a much
morial under construction in Pershing Square at the millions of people who were killed, it is greater way than we actually acknowledge. If
in Washington, D.C. such a number outside our human concept someone goes to war at 17 or 18 and comes
On track to be completed by the end of of what is possible. If millions died, then how back a few years later inextricably scarred
2023, his larger-than-life sculpture is 58 feet many people were affected? mentally and physically, and then has a family,
long, 10 feet high and comprises 38 bronze they carry those wounds and pass them on
figures. Howard [sabinhoward.com] began Do you use live models for all the to their children. And their children will bear
sculpting the figures in August 2019 and figures? that tragedy and pass it on to their children. I
continues work on the project at his studio in Yes. It’s so important. This is a really human can specifically attest to this, because I have
Englewood, N.J. He spoke with us about his project. I think so many times things get several examples in my family of my ancestors
methods, vision for the work and approach as moved away from heart space and moved passing on emotional wounds to the next
an artist to the theme of war. into cerebral space. The thing that affected generation.
Creating a Monument for Mount Auburn’s
First Armenian Resident
WHILE MOUNT AUBURN ’s front gates
are in Cambridge, MA, more than 90% of the
Cemetery is actually in Watertown. Watertown
was a major center of the 19th-century Arme- Design for the front
nian Diaspora, and now boasts the 3rd-largest (left) and back (right
of the Antranighan
Armenian population in the U.S. Monument
In 2016, a group of local Armenian culture
advocates, including members of Project
SAVE Armenian Photograph Archives, the
National Association for Armenian Studies
and Research, and Mount Auburn’s volun-
teers, began an effort to create a monument unmarked grave in the public St. John Lot Thanks to a generous seed gift from a local
for the unmarked grave of Simon Antranighian on Vesper Avenue. He was the first known Armenian family, Mount Auburn is current-
(1827-1855)—the first known Armenian buried Armenian to be buried at Mount Auburn—but ly fundraising for the $50,000 needed to
at Mount Auburn. not the last. More than 3,000 Armenians have complete Antranighian’s monument, reland-
Simon Antranighian was a daguerreotyp- been buried here since. scape the area surrounding the gravesite, and
ist who arrived in Boston in 1853 but passed Now, Robert Shure, sculptor and President produce interpretive materials for visitors
away from respiratory disease in 1855. He of Skylight Studios, has designed a monument about Antranighian and Armenian heritage at
was buried at Mount Auburn Cemetery in an appropriate for Antranighian’s gravesite. the Cemetery.

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NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 59


MEMBER NEWS

Flanner Buchanan Opens


New Funeral and Event Center
Flanner Buchanan held an open house and ribbon cutting on
October 3, 2022, at its new Prairie Waters Event Center in its
Hamilton Memorial Park location in Westfield, Indiana, near
Indianapolis.
“We listened to the public and designed our new Prairie
Waters event center to accommodate all of life’s milestone
celebrations so it is unlike any funeral home in the county,”
said Bruce W. Buchanan, 4th Generation Owner/CEO. “We
believe that Prairie Waters is the new model and I’m proud of
this innovation. We are also pleased that we bucked the trend
that a funeral needs to be sequestered in a traditional design
and decorated ‘funeral home.’”
The 12,500 square-foot natural stone-crafted facility can
accommodate up to 240 guests and celebrates the beauty
of natural Indiana. It features 600 square footage of glass,
14-foot ceilings and serene water views since it sits beside a
small lake. In addition to ample parking and easy handicap
access, the one-floor structure is adorned with Indiana art
and allows for up to 90 people to easily access the natural
stone patio.

The Gardens of Gethsemane Celebrates


Nature’s Summer in 2022

60 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


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MEMBER NEWS

Larkin Tournament Raises $15,000 for


‘This Is The Place’ Foundation
Larkin Mortuary has donated $15,000 to the their support for the This Is The Place Foun-
This Is The Place Foundation from proceeds dation this year,” said Lance Larkin, President
received from its annual golf tournament at of Larkin Mortuary. “With this year’s donation,
the Eaglewood Golf Course in North Salt Lake, we look forward to stepping up our long-term
Utah.  commitments to benefitting children in need
The contribution from the Larkin charity in our community.”
event will support the mission of the This Is early settlers. The nonprofit state park offers Matthews Aurora Funeral Solutions served
The Place Heritage Park to provide financial historic buildings, exhibits, and interpretive as the major sponsor of the tournament, along
support for underprivileged students in the programs which tell the stories of the found- with PRECOA, the breakfast sponsor. Nu-
Utah Field Trip Programs, to attend the attrac- ing of Utah. The mission of the park, which sits merous other local businesses provided door
tion and learn about the pioneer and Native on 450 acres on the east bench of Salt Lake prizes and gifts to participants of the event.
American history of the state. City, is to preserve and promote Utah’s history
The mission of This Is The Place Founda- and heritage.
tion is to educate the public about the history, “We are extremely grateful to our vendors
culture, and contemporary legacy of Utah’s and supporters who generously rallied to offer

From left to right: Ellis Ivory, Chairman of This is the Place Heritage State Park, Lance Larkin, Steve Kehl, Tresha Kramer, Mariann Dunn, Rob Larkin, and
Nick Larkin.

62 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


Memorial Classic Reaches
$1 Million in All-Time Donations
The Memorial Classic’s annual golf event
brought in a total of $210,000 in donations
for 2022. This number officially brought their
grand total of donations to over $1 million of
giving back to the funeral profession over the
past 40 years.
The Memorial Classic took place April
24–26 in Las Vegas. Each year, the profes-
sion’s finest fly out from across the country
to participate in this two day golf event. This
year’s event had 107 participants. It’s orga-
nized by Tom Johnson, Jake Johnson, Kim
Price, Bill Cutter, and the JCG team in efforts
to give back to educating the next generation
of funeral service.
The donations from this event go directly
to the ICCFA’s Educational Foundation as well
as the Funeral Service Foundation’s Academ-
ic Scholarships. These donations serve to
provide educational opportunities, scholar-
ships, supplies and more for those entering or
furthering their education in funeral service.
Jim Price, Chairman of the ICCFA Edu-
cational Foundation, stated, “We are very
grateful for all of the support The Memorial
Classic provides us. Without it, we would not
be able to make education accessible to our
profession’s future leaders.”
Tom Johnson, Founder of Johnson Con-
sulting Group, started this event 40 years ago
to get friends from the profession together for
a few days over golf. Now it’s one of the most
successful fundraising events in the profession
year after year. “It’s great to see how a group
of people passionate about the future of the
profession can make a difference,” says Tom.
“We are always grateful for the attendees and
their generosity.”
Jake Johnson, CEO of Johnson Consulting
Group, who has watched this event grow from
day one added, “It’s a huge milestone for the
event to reach one million dollars in donations.
I am proud of everyone involved who has
made this happen year after year.”

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 63


MEMBER NEWS

participated in countless industry events and him and for being his friend. NGL and the
IN MEMORIAM a popular speaker at national conventions and funeral service industry overall are better
ICCFA is saddened to announce that Lisa meetings will be stepping down in December. because of his service to others,” shared Cam-
Wharmby, beloved wife of 2015 ICCFA Lasting “Since the early days of my career in funeral eron Black, Vice President, Sales and Business
Impact Awardee and Inglewood Park Cem- service, Preneed funeral planning has always Development at NGL.
etery board member Dave Wharmby, CCE, been my passion. Knowing that the work we
passed away on August 23, 2022. do to help our customers with this is very
satisfying,” shared John. John joined NGL in
ON THE MOVE December 2013 as Regional Vice President
and has been an integral part of the growth of
NGL’s Preneed product. He began his career Funeral Directors Life is
in the funeral service industry working for a excited to announce
family-owned funeral group. During his tenure Chandler Jones as Market
with the firm, he learned all aspects of the Center Manager (MCM) in
After more than 30 years business, including developing and manag- Illinois. “We’re thrilled to
in the funeral service ing the Preneed sales department. In 1995, welcome Chandler to the
industry, National John was promoted to President and General Funeral Directors Life
Guardian Life Insurance Manager of a funeral home and cemetery team,” said Kris Seale, President and CEO of
Company’s (NGL) Vice combination operation in Colorado. “I have Funeral Directors Life. “During his career, he
President of Strategic known John for over 13 years. His expertise has helped families with their preplanning
Partner Development John and professionalism are traits I have always needs and also served as an area sales
Baker is retiring. admired. John’s commitment to the industry manager and exceeded sales goals. His
The company announced that this well- and desire to serve is contagious and I will experience in these areas will be an asset to
known and knowledgeable leader who has always be a better person from working with our funeral home clients in Illinois as they
work to provide their families with the highest
level of care.” Chandler has over six years of
experience working in and with funeral homes
to increase preneed sales and has an
extensive knowledge of the profession. “We
are excited to bring Chandler onto our sales
management team in Illinois,” concurs John
Uncomplicate the Pre-Need Harrington, Regional Sales Vice President for
Funeral Directors Life. “He brings many years
Process of successful sales experience as a family
service counselor. Chandler’s skills will be
exceptionally helpful as we continue to serve
The ability to create and redeem pre-need contracts can be a
more funeral homes interested in Funeral
complicated process for busy funeral homes. Funeral Home
Directors Life’s valuable products and
software can help simplify the process. With byondpro, you can:
services.” Market Center Manager is a new role
for Chandler, but he is more than ready to
Create pre-need contracts begin this new chapter of his career. “I’m
Convert the pre-need contract to at-need and elated to join such a dynamic and thriving
recognize the revenue company,” said Chandler. “I’m looking forward
to building trusted relationships with funeral
Track pre-need contracts, trusts and redemptions homes and meeting their needs to ensure
through detailed reports continued success. I’m really excited to serve
alongside dedicated and passionate leaders in
the funeral industry.”
Learn more.
opusxenta.com (833) 236-2736

64 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


“We take
a strategic
approach to
developing your
succession plan.”
Selected Independent Funeral Homes, the
— Chris Cruger,
premier association for independent funeral
Chief Executive Officer
homes, is pleased to announce the addition
of new team members Liz Centi and Robyn Talk to Chris about
Brownlow. Liz joins the team as Member planning your succession.
Engagement Director and Robyn as Member
Services & Meetings Assistant. Liz will work
remotely from Altamont, NY, where she lives
with her husband and two golden retrievers.
She has over 15 years of experience working
for a variety of membership-driven organiza-
tions, across various industries. Her primary
focus will be on creating strategies to increase theforesightcompanies.com | 800.426.0165
engagement and retention of membership.
Most recently, she worked for a National
Mastermind organization where she facilitated Alan collaborated with some of the biggest
group discussions across the U.S. Robyn will brands in the world including AT&T, Disney,
work at Selected’s Headquarters office. She Fox, Coca-Cola and Sony. Since 2017, Alan has
will coordinate and support meetings; and will served on the Board of Directors for Promax,
assist the team through data entry, process- the global association for the entertainment
ing, reporting and overall organization. She marketing industry. For the past eleven years,
earned her degree in Psychology from the he also has served as Senior Minister for the
University of Illinois at Chicago. Her diverse Camarillo Church of Christ. Alan is a two-time
career experience includes working for the graduate of Pepperdine University, earning a
University of Chicago’s research library, work- BA in Music and the MPP at the School of
ing as a certified aide and digital receptionist Public Policy. A certified expert on cybersecu-
in the home healthcare industry, serving What do a social media rity, Diana was most recently Consulting
as a real estate tour coordinator and music marketing pioneer a Services Sales Director with Oracle Consulting,
educator. “We are excited to welcome Liz and cybersecurity expert, and a based in Los Angeles. She earned a Bachelor
Robyn to the team,” said Robert Paterkiewicz, 31-year Warner Bros. of Arts in Human Biology from Stanford
Selected’s Executive Director & CEO. “With veteran have in common? University and a Master of Business Adminis-
their excellent skills and experience, I am They are all newly tration in Marketing & Finance from the
confident they will both make an important appointed board members Kellogg Graduate School of Management at
impact here for the team and for the member- for the Forest Lawn Memorial-Park Associa- Northwestern University. She is a Certified
ship. I look forward to introducing them to our tion. The three new board members are Alan Information Systems Security Professional
members at the Annual Meeting.” Beard, Diana Ingram and Leisa Wu. Alan is (CISSP). In addition, she is a Governance
the founder and CEO of Synonymous, a Fellow through the National Association of
creative strategy agency that cultivates Corporate Directors. Also joining the board,
passionate fan communities around iconic Leisa served in numerous senior executive
brands. Previously, the co-founder of the leadership roles across Warner Bros. Enter-
award-winning creative advertising agency, tainment Group for 31 years. Her most recent
McBeard, a pioneer in social media marketing, role was Corporate Senior Vice President,

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 65


MEMBER NEWS

International Finance and Strategy, and her widely regarded as a pioneer in Funeral innovative solutions for our policy owners and
prior roles included Corporate Senior Vice Service. It began its relationship with partners. Being selected eight years in a row
President & Assistant Controller and Divisional Graystone in 2004, and continues as a valued based on employee feedback exemplifies the
Senior Vice President, Studio Operations client. A repeated winner of Graystone Greats excellence and commitment we have in our
Finance & Planning. Currently, Leisa also Awards, David’s role will encompass coaching team and how much our employees believe in
serves on the Board of Community Partners and support for all levels of staff. He will everything we do.” The Top Iowa Workplace
and Advisory Board of Venice Family Clinic. A deliver on-site professional development award recognizes companies that demon-
Certified Public Accountant Leisa earned a using Graystone’s registered and trademarked strate strong employee satisfaction and overall
B.S. in Business Administration from the proprietary systems, including Graystone’s organizational health. Recipients are chosen
University of Southern California, Marshall acclaimed innovation: The Cycle of based on the results of an employee feedback
School of Business, and an MBA from the Excellence®. survey conducted by The Des Moines Register
University of Los Angeles, Anderson School of in conjunction with Energage, LLC. On aver-
Management. HONORS AND RECOGNITION age, fewer than 3% of eligible organizations
earn a prestigious Top Workplace designation.
Homesteaders was one of only eight employ-
ers that were recognized in the top 50 of their
size categories regionally and nationally. “Our
recognition as a Top Iowa Workplace is truly
Graystone Associates, a reflection of how our employees bring their
Inc.® is pleased to For the eighth consecutive year Homestead- best every day,” said Judy Ralston-Hansen,
announce the addition of ers Life has been recognized as a Top Iowa Homesteaders Executive Vice President-Hu-
David Speaks to the Workplace. A national leader in preneed man Resources. “We know the work we do
Graystone team. David, a funeral funding, the company is among 40 here makes a difference and have cultivated a
licensed funeral director, Top Iowa Workplaces. “I’m proud that Home- caring and flexible workplace to help support
brings a wealth of insight steaders has once again been recognized as it. Our employees consistently demonstrate
and experience. David comes to Graystone a Top Iowa Workplace,” said Steve Shaffer, our core values each and every day in the
from the Speaks Family, known for its Homesteaders President, CEO and Board work that they do.”
established legacy in funeral service located in Chair. “Our team’s dedication and our strong
Independence, Missouri. Speaks Chapels is an company culture influence everything we do,
independent, family-owned funeral firm helping us provide exceptional service and

GREVER
GREVER &
& WARD
WARD
CEMETERY PLANNING Foundation Partners Group set a record ac-
quisition rate 50% higher than last year with
the purchase of eight funeral service firms
during the first seven months of 2022. The
acquired firms operate 18 locations that serve
more than 12,000 families per year. Founda-
tion Partners, the national cremation leader,
now operates over 230 locations in 21 states
and serves more than 125,000 families annual-
ly. “2022 marks a record year for deal velocity
as more and more funeral business owners
are choosing Foundation Partners Group as
their partner of choice,” said Tom Komin-
sky, Foundation Partners Group CFO. “Our
approach to acquired growth is simple. We
look for cremation-focused, market-leading
brands who share our vision for redefining
the modern funeral experience.” The newest
members of the Foundation Partners family

66 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


of firms are: Bay Area Cremation Society, San
Francisco, California; Beckman-Williamson
Funeral Homes & Crematory, Rockledge/
Viera, Florida; Blue Oaks Cremation & Burial
Services, Roseville, California; Carroll-Lewellen
Funeral & Cremation Services, Longmont,
Colorado; Falconer Funeral Home, Gilbert, “On all
Arizona; Griffith-Cline Funeral and Crema-
tion Services, Bradenton, Florida; Meldrum
matters
Mortuary & Crematory, Mesa, Arizona; Wyman financial,
we have
Cremation and Burial Chapel, Mesa, Arizona.

Rob Espinoza, the insight.”


Assistant Manager
— Doug Gober, Partner
of The Gardens of
Gethsemane Talk to Doug about
received his your monetary needs.
certification in Land
Management &
Grounds Operations from Gino Merendino,
Dean of the college and co-founder of
Merendino Cemetery Care.

MERGERS & ACQUISITIONS


theforesightcompanies.com | 800.426.0165

from the get-go,” said Claude. “My team and cemeteries in four states. Serenity opened its
I visited FDLIC, and we were blown away by first location in Arkansas in 2007. Since then,
Funeral Directors Life Insurance Company the culture. Everything about Kris’ company the company has grown to include funeral
(FDLIC) has recently finalized the acquisition exceeded our expectations, from the business homes and cemeteries throughout Arkansas,
of American Life & Annuity Company (ALAC) principles, to core values, and offerings for California, Nevada, and New Mexico. The
in Hot Springs, Arkansas. President and CEO funeral homes. We saw a desire in them to funeral home locations include Brewer Lee &
of FDLIC Kris Seale and ALAC President continue to improve to have more products Larkin Funeral Home, Farmington, NM; Cope
Claude Holloway worked closely together to and services to offer funeral homes. It’s like Memorial, Aztec, NM; Cope Memorial Chapel,
ensure a smooth transition process for both they get up in the morning and say, ‘What else Gallup, NM; Cope Memorial Chapel, Kirtland
companies, their respective funeral home can we do for funeral homes to make their NM; Alternative Choice, Farmington, NM;
clients, and the families they serve. “We’re jobs easier?’” Effective immediately, FDLIC Tse Bonito Mortuary, Tse Bonito, NM; Desert
proud to finally announce this news,” said will work to support existing ALAC policy- Memorial Cremation and Burial, Las Vegas and
Kris. “After a few conversations with Claude, I holders and Arkansas funeral homes. FDLIC Sunrise Cremation Society, Henderson, NV.
could tell immediately he was the type of guy offers preneed insurance solutions and a suite The cemeteries include Memorial Park Ceme-
I’d want on my team. He has strong Christian of business services, including accounting, tery, Pine Bluff, AR; Rest Haven Memorial Park,
values and is dedicated to doing the best technology, marketing, lending, aftercare, and Russellville, AR; Woodlawn Memorial Park,
he can for his customers and funeral homes. many more. Fort Smith, AR; Edgewood Memorial Park,
It’s exciting to enter this phase and have the North Little Rock, AR; Rest Haven Memorial
opportunity to work with Claude and his staff Gardens, El Dorado, AR; Memory Gardens
to make this come together.” FDLIC’s mission Cemetery, Concord, CA; Memory Gardens
is “to be known as the best, most-respected of Farmington, Farmington, NM; Jonesboro
provider of service to the funeral profession.” Memorial Park, Jonesboro, AR; Greene County
In this case, it meant inviting Claude and his Memorial Gardens, North Paragould, AR, and
team to FDLIC’s home office to see if core Anthem Partners has announced that Se- East Memorial Garden Cemetery, Texarkana,
values and company missions were aligned renity & Co. Memorial Services has joined AR. “Based on our situation, Anthem Partners
so both companies could feel confident about Anthem Partners. Serenity is composed of 19 best met our needs for the future. It was vital-
the acquisition process. “We were excited properties including 9 funeral homes and 10 ly important to partner with a company that

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 67


MEMBER NEWS

was the best fit for our employees,” stated ucts that offer comfort and connection for more than we could have imagined”, says its
Steven McDonald, former Chief Operating the families they serve.” “The Thumbies team creator, Ruthann Disotell. “When the family
Officer at Serenity who has assumed a vice has always been dedicated to offering the wanted to continue to wear the pin outside the
president’s role at Anthem. “Serenity is a fine finest keepsakes available to our partners and funeral home, it offered the opportunity to be
organization, with a strong family orientation,” their families,” said Matt Stallings, Director more. And now, a few tweaks later, it is a grief
stated Will Andrews, President of Anthem of Thumbies. “Through this acquisition, we awareness pin. The leaf, a representation of
Partners - US. “Our two organizations are will now be able to grow our line of product one from our tree, now hugs a heart, much like
dedicated to providing exceptional care and offerings and serve those partners even more our heart continues to be held by those we are
service to our families through compassion, quickly and efficiently. We look forward to this connected to, long after they are gone.” The
honesty, integrity, and commitment. We are opportunity to become part of the Messenger name is now MemoriaLeaf, with a tagline of
truly fortunate that Serenity has decided to family.” three sweet words, “My Heart Remembers”.
align with us.” The pin is displayed mounted a small card
NEW PRODUCTS bearing the poem, “Some leaves wither and
The Messenger Company is pleased to drift away; others rip off in a storm. This leaf
announce the acquisition of Thumbies® rests upon my heart, to keep your memory
Fingerprint Keepsakes located in Wood- warm.” This offers the quiet whisper of
stock, IL. This new addition to the Messenger unintentional departure, as well as the tragedy
family of companies will allow the Messenger of sudden death. And the card can easily fit in
team of sales reps to offer the complete the wallet to keep the poem handy when
line of Thumbies jewelry in their portfolio of sharing the meaning of the pin. Wholesale
products, supporting the needs of funer- pricing is available in quantities as low as 25,
al home partners across the country. “At making it easy to keep pins on hand. This
Messenger, we are always looking for creative affordable quantity is also great for Celebrants,
and meaningful ways to expand our product who want to have a take-a-way for the family.
portfolio for our funeral partners” commented After five years in the Ruthann says, “It is our sincere hope, this pin
Kevin Tkacz, President of Messenger. “This marketplace, the leaf pin, will become the ‘pink ribbon’ of remembrance;
acquisition allows Messenger to leverage our known as Oaktags, has that when it is noticed, organic conversations
core competencies and invest in remembrance been overhauled. “What will happen, allowing the wearer to say that
offerings we feel passionate about. Adding was once designed to ‘Tag person’s name, after the world fell silent.”
July ICCFA
Thumbies to our '22:Layout 1 6/2/22
mix provides funeral partners 1:30 PM Page 1the Oak (family tree)’ in the Additionally, MemoriaLeaf has decided to offer
an even greater selection of memorial prod- funeral home, became a portion of the proceeds to three organiza-
tions who console the grieving: Good Grief
(children suffering loss of a parent), The
Compassionate Friends (parents and siblings
suffering the loss of a child) and Alliance of
TM
Hope (family suffering loss by suicide).

Keepsa
NEW PROJECTS
ke Pendants

The opportunity to choose


a Keepsake Pendant
Forest Lawn unveiled its newest cemetery
presents itself only once.
property development, The Woodlands® at
The comfort
Covina Hills, a unique cremation garden that
a Keepsake Pendant offers, features over 3,100 cremation property spaces
lasts a lifetime. available in a variety of styles that include
rock niches, tree bases, and traditional wall
Known for quality materials and craftsmanship, niches. It is the first of its kind in the San
Madelyn Co. Keepsake Pendants are hand-made Gabriel Valley. “We are pleased to offer this
using jewelry-grade metals. new selection of distinctive property that
call about monthly specials or visit our website appeals to those who choose cremation and
800-788-0807 Fax 608-752-3683 www.madelynpendants.com e-mail [email protected] desire an exceptional memorial that really

68 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


connects with nature,” said Nectar Ramirez,
Forest Lawn’s Senior Vice President of Ad-
vance Planning. “The Woodlands® is set high
atop a hillside and nestled against a majestic,
towering backdrop that presents inspiration-
al prose and art. The garden is wonderfully
accented with colorful large-scale blown glass “We focus on
sculptures, native California greenery, and
water features that together create a beautiful
the financial
and peaceful environment. The views from and operational
health of
this location are spectacular.” Some of The
Woodlands® features include a wide selec-
tion of cremation estates and niche property your business.”
available for up to two, four, and eight urn
— Daniel Isard, Founder
capacities tucked away amongst native Cal-
ifornia landscaping, bubbling fountains, and Talk to Dan about
inspirational poetic phrases etched on a large- your business plan.
scale backdrop. “The Woodlands® is uniquely
Forest Lawn,” said Rodolfo Saenz, Senior Vice
President, Marketing. “It provides cremation
property set in a rustic, natural environment
while continuing Forest Lawn’s high standards
of developing quality cemetery property for
those who wish to leave a lasting legacy. It
is also a continuation of our commitment to theforesightcompanies.com | 800.426.0165
providing the community with a wide variety
of dignified cremation options.”

a funeral director or visit the funeral home,” the funeral home.” While a standard script for
said Curt Fitzsimmons, President of Strategic funeral homes is provided, many funeral homes
Funeral Resources. “It’s important to under- choose to customize both the content and
stand that AVA is designed to enhance the the avatar being used to deliver the message.
arrangement experience, not to replace the Instead of using a generic computer-generated
face-to-face interaction with funeral directors.” avatar, AVA can look—and sound—like the fu-
AVA comes to life with one click on a funeral neral home owner or any member of the staff.
home’s website. The lifelike virtual personal The program can run in multiple ethnicities and
assistant leads families through a self-guided languages to eliminate cultural barriers, and the
journey that covers everything from cremation software is not just limited to arrangements. It
and burials to caskets, urns, service offerings, can also be used to market new products and
and pricing. While some funeral homes shy services, run contests, or even train staff. “I be-
away from technology believing it will impact lieve online arrangements are a very important
Strategic Funeral Resources has recently foot traffic to their facilities, the opposite can option for families,” emphasizes Fitzsimmons.
introduced its Automated Virtual Arranger actually occur. AVA puts families at ease. They “Some people will always prefer to go into
(AVA) software. The AVA process takes the are better informed and therefore feel they are a funeral home, but many people out there
best types of human interactions—engag- making better decisions. “Our software helps today are looking for different ways to arrange
ing, warm and emotional connections—and funeral homes generate what we like to call a funeral—whether at-need or pre-need. This
combines them with revolutionary Artificial ‘educated’ leads. Families now arrive at the fu- viable, easy-to-use, informational software
Intelligence (AI) technology to create a lifelike, neral home enlightened about the services and allows them to do just that.” Funeral homes can
interactive experience with a digital personal products they want and are speaking ‘funeral’,” choose to customize the avatar used to deliver
assistant; think Alexa or Siri for funeral plan- added Fitzsimmons. “I strongly believe the the message. Instead of showing a generic av-
ning.“The AVA digital avatar presents families more information a family has before making a atar, AVA can look—and sound—like the funeral
with funeral options in an easy-to-understand decision, the better value that decision will be home owner or any member of the staff. 
format and helps them understand the whole when they come to make their final arrange-
process before they ever need to speak with ments. It’s a win-win for both the family and

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 69


MEMBER NEWS

Founder and CEO. “Our pet crematory and out of the industry to create new revenue
aquamation partners achieve higher conver- earning programs for funeral homes and
sion rates and higher transaction sizes, while cemeteries,” says Biery. CEO Sarah Schmitz
pet parents have an interest free payment adds, “Our team spans from Gen X to Gen Z
option for unforeseen and unplanned circum- which gives us a wider view of the future
Angelpaw has announced the launch of the stances. It’s a win-win for everyone!” landscape of consumers when it comes to
world’s only Buy-Now-Pay-Later (BNPL) funeral service.” COO Aaron Biery believes
payments service for the pet cremation and that new technology and marketing are both
pet aquamation industries. Angelpaw Buy- vital in today’s marketplace, but also suggest-
Now-Pay-Later feature is a safe and easy way ing that there must be more. He stated,
to allows pet crematories and pet aquamation “Something that changes us from a one
centers to accept multiple payments for a dimensional to a multi-dimensional industry is
pet cremation/aquamation and products. Pet what’s needed in today’s marketplace.” The
Parents can split the cost of a purchase into Funeral Service Collective has rolled out
several interest-free installments over 60 days. programs that include “The Collective “which
As soon as the installment plan is submitted, saves 35% to 50% of annual funeral home
Angelpaw manages the scheduling, validation, overhead cost while increasing call volume.
and transfers while the crematory/aquama- From COVID to They bring in “Every Day Commerce” through
tion centers receive funds immediately with disposition choices beautifully designed specialty shops at your
no risk. Our flexible system boosts customer and less traditional existing location. Their “Innovative Spaces”
purchasing power, resulting in increased trans- funeral rituals, funeral program is reimagining the breadth and use of
action sizes and higher Average Order Value service has found existing funeral/event spaces. Another FSC
(“AOV”) amounts. Buy-Now-Pay-Later is espe- itself in a battle for program, “All Communities Engagement”,
cially useful for unforeseen and unplanned revenue in a difficult helps bring more people through your doors
pet cremations and aquamations, providing market. The Funeral Service Collective daily. Currently the group is working with a
pet parents a smarter option than traditional founded by Ken Biery, a U.S. Army veteran client on building a state-of-the-art facility
financing or credit card debt. “With the explo- and funeral director for 25 years has created that will usher in a new era of innovation for
sion in popularity of Buy-Now-Pay-Later, we real solutions for funeral homes and cemeter- the industry. The location will include dynamic
felt it’s our responsibility to offer the benefits ies. “My team and I actively study consumer contemporary designed rooms that can be
of BNPL to Pet Aftercare,” says James Byler, trends and use our experiences both in and used as funeral and memorial spaces. The
specialty shops will be accessible to the
community through a separate entrance. This
allows for everyday business without
disrupting services or events in the other parts
of the building. “Our Every Day Commerce”
program can provide thousands in additional
revenue monthly for the funeral home,
especially during slow times. You still have
money coming in the door every day,” says
Sarah Schmitz. “We don’t just do new builds;
we can work with any existing space or
location. We have a network of amazing
corporate partners that help with all our
projects.” says Travis Bailey, Director of Sales.

70 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


Your
solution
ANNOUNCEMENTS partners
for business
growth and
succession
planning.
At The Foresight Companies,
our mission is to provide
our clients with customized
financial and operational
solutions.

We deliver results through our


passion for the profession and the
communities they serve.

Wilbert Funeral Services, Inc., (WFSI) is


pleased to announce the launch of its new
Cremation Choices Catalog. Wilbert Merchan-
dising Manager, Mike Devaney states, “We are
excited about the new expanded catalog. We
are adding 80 new urns and mementos to our theforesightcompanies.com | 800.426.0165
line of over 300 cremation products. Our goal
is to give our licensee network and the funeral
home customers they serve the best quality, for a Hole in One prize, and for CFDA’s food
diversity of choice and value anywhere in the collection. Every year, Connecticut Foodshare
funeral industry.” Some of the new prod- provides millions of meals to people across
ucts include hand-turned artisan wood urns Connecticut.
handcrafted the old school way to the highest
standards, exposing the beauty of the wood.
Another product line Wilbert is proud to offer
is a new exclusive glass line named Infinity
Collection by famed glass designer Karine
Bouchard. Additional products include afford-
able high quality, high eye appeal metal urns
in brass and enamel, inlaid Mother of Pearl,
and hand painted aluminum. Lastly, beautiful
intricate colors and patterns of marble and
onyx round out the new urn line. A new offer-
ing is a Wilbert exclusive design for MacKen- In 1850, an orphaned British immigrant estab-
zie cultured marble urns. Customers are now Connecticut Funeral Directors Association lished a wood-working business in the 1700
able to order standard cultured marble urns (CFDA) thanks all those who attended the block of Pennsylvania Avenue, just one block
in a unique design featuring column corners, organization’s 2022 golf benefit tournament west of the nation’s fairly new presidential
softer molded bevels, and a single, continuous at Wethersfield Country Club in Wethersfield, residence, the White House. Little did young
top on companion urns, providing more space CT, and filled a new hearse with cans and Joseph Gawler know his carpentry and casket
for engraving. boxes of food for Connecticut Foodshare. business that he later expanded to include a
This annual golf event raises scholarship funds livery stable, actually serve a majority of the
for aspiring funeral directors and the fill-a- presidents of his day and for future Gawler
hearse component has become a yearly CFDA generations. In their new book, One Block
tradition. Special thanks to Parks Superior West of the White House: Joseph Gawler’s
Sales in Somers, CT, for offering a hearse Sons Funeral Home: Undertaker for the

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 71


MEMBER NEWS

Presidents, Duane Hills and co-author Alice loss but also in the communities in which they
Adams have researched and reconstructed, serve,” said Hills. “What we, as directors and
with primary sources from the mortuary’s embalmers do is our contribution to society,
archives, the stories, families and dignitaries whomever the decedent may be. During their
served by four generations of Gawler funeral lives,” he explained, “they contribute to their
directors and embalmers. “In researching and community—from their offspring who will
writing this book, we discovered not only continue our society to the work they do, their
the evolution of Gawler’s legacy but also volunteerism and the town’s growth.” “Every
the unequivocal historical parallels between funeral director and every funeral home
funerals and history at every level, from local become stewards of their own unique stories
to regional and national impact,” Adams said. and experiences,” Adams added, recalling her
Hills, a veteran funeral service profession- recurrent discovery of funeral homes that, un- The Fairmount Memorial Association (FMA)
al and president of Joseph Gawler’s Sons knowingly, had secured their place in history and the Historical Monuments Committee
Funeral Home for the past decade, said the when they buried the first Texan executed by in Spokane, WA, tell the common history
book was written while Gawler relatives were an electric chair, the firm directing services through monuments to those who made that
still willing and able to share memories, their of the detective who was handcuffed to Lee history. The Centennial of the Tomb of the
impressions and experiences, growing up in a Harvey Oswald at the time he was murdered Unknown Soldiers was a year of numerous
circle of respected Gawler families. “I believe by Jack Ruby in full view of the national televi- celebrations here and abroad. One of the
it’s time for funeral directors to begin valuing sion audience. projects of the Society Honor Guards Tomb of
the arrangements they make and the services the Unknown Soldier was to plant Never For-
they direct as important historical events, not get Gardens (NFG). They are described as a
only in the lives of the families experiencing visual way to represent America’s unwavering
commitment to our sacred duty to recognize,
remember, and honor our veterans, many
OFFERING A WIDE VARIETY OF who continued to serve as first responders,

CREMATION SAFE
and their families now and for many years to
come. A Never Forget Garden can provide
800.475.5235 CADAVER BAGS an elegant expression of that which deeply
resides in the heart of our fellow Americans:
Stock Cremation Safe Items Include: “I will Never, Ever Forget You — I am in it
➢ Durable PE-Scrim Cadaver Bags (image 1) with you.” (https://tombguard.org/never-for-
➢ Jumbo PE-Scrim Cadaver Bags (image 2) get-garden-marker). Any group, business,
➢ Reinforced 6 Handle PE-Scrim Cadaver Bags or individual can create an NFG. There were
➢ Smooth PEVA Cadaver Bags, handled & non-handled workdays and dedication at each of the cem-
➢ Infant, Adolescent and Adult Sizes eteries. FMA provided the granite and placed
➢ Alkaline Hydrolysis Flameless Cremation Bags the markers. Members of the Daughters of
➢ Pet Loss Animal Cremation Bags the American Revolution petitioned the FMA
WWW.CLASSICPLASTICSCORP.COM
board to create NFGs in each of the seven
FMA cemeteries. 

72 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


Register today for

Start 2023 off on the right foot and join the ICCFA
in Las Vegas for DEAD Talks! Don’t miss two and
a half days of impactful educational sessions full
of strategies, tips, and insights for family service
counselors and deathcare sales professionals.

January 11–13, 2023


Bally’s Las Vegas
Las Vegas, NV
NEWS

I CC FA M E M B E R S H I P B E N E F I T S P OT L I G H T

Help Protect Your Pet with the ASPCA ®


Pet Health Insurance Program
Focus more on your pet’s It’s simple to use! Just pay
care and less on cost! ICCFA your vet bill, submit claims and
members are eligible for up get reimbursed for covered
to a 10% discount on the base expenses! You’re free to visit
plan premium*. Plus, save an any licensed vet, specialist or
additional 10% on all additional pets with the multiple-pet discount! emergency clinic you want, and you can choose to receive reim-
The ASPCA ® Pet Health Insurance Program furthers the mission bursement by direct deposit or mail.
of its strategic partner, the American Society for the Prevention of To learn more about this program and see other membership
Cruelty to Animals®, by helping pet parents afford quality veterinary benefits and services, visit users.iccfa.com. Log in with your user-
care so their pets can live longer, healthier lives. name and password and click on Member Discount Programs.
In this program, you can choose the care you want when your *No discount available for HI and TN.
pet is hurt or sick and take comfort in knowing they have coverage. 10% discount available for all other states.

D O N ’ T M I S S T H I S FA N TA ST I C D I S CO U N T !

Save Money on Music & Webcasting


Licenses Before February 1
Beat the rush and purchase your date music license. Failure to do
music and webcasting licenses so can result in fines of up to
through ICCFA for the discount- $30,000 for each song infringed.
ed rate of $322 per location. But Avoid this costly mistake by
this offer won’t last long! getting your licensing today!
This is the least expensive Additionally, you can
option in the profession as this purchase a webcasting license
is a direct pass-through of the for only $58 per URL/website
combined annual fees from the address (rate increases to $59 on
music licensing agencies. February 1). Our webcasting li-
Plus, you don’t have to be cense allows a business to stream
an ICCFA member to receive a service worldwide – including
the discount! We offer music licensing through ASCAP, BMI, and the copyrighted music played during the service, on the compa-
SESAC. ny’s website without violating copyright laws. You must have a
On February 1, the rate increases to $330 per location. music license before you purchase a webcasting license. 
Our music license allows a business to play any live or record- Please note that our music and webcasting licensing does
ed music at one location for any service. Any U.S. funeral home, not cover the reproduction of any copyrighted music. For more
cemetery, crematory, or related funeral service business that plays information on our licensing, what they cover, and to purchase,
live or recorded copyrighted music is required to have an up-to- visit www.iccfa.com/legal/music.

74 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


Catch up on the PLPA Webinar Series!
ICCFA and Pet Loss Professionals Alliance
(PLPA) are excited to bring you expertise of
leading pet loss professionals right to your
screen! In 2022, the PLPA webinar series has
shared ideas on how to better serve grieving
pet parents by communicating compassion
and offering the support and memorial
options they are looking for, but might not
have known were available.
Coleen Ellis, CT, CPLP, kicked off our series
in May with her presentation of Ten Creative
Ways to Serve Pet Families in Their Loss. As
we know, offering pet loss services can happen
on many different levels. Coleen gave attend-
ees examples of ways they can expand their
services to families in their community – from
starting up a full-blown pet loss center, to pro-
viding support to pet lovers. Viewers were given
ideas that are simple enough to be implement- memorial options for their pets, it is vital to displayed both correct and incorrect exam-
ed into their everyday practice immediately. have the ability to help guide them through ples of how to speak to customers, learned
In August, Glenda Stansbury, MA, LFD, their grief without saying “it was only a pet.” ways to show empathy to bereaved callers,
CFSP, presented Grief is Grief is Grief: Words During her webinar, Glenda shared how to and discovered Nicki’s top-10 phone etiquette
of Compassion. We know that the ability to communicate with compassion to grieving pet tips that are sure to leave a lasting positive
speak with people during their time of grief is owners and families, alike. impression on callers.
an important skill in our profession. But what In October, Nicki Wiedeman, CSE, of Dead Past webinar recordings are available for
happens when someone has lost their beloved Ringers revealed how poor phone manners ICCFA and PLPA members to view at any
pet? It turns out that it is not much different can lead to less business in her webinar, Is time. Keep an eye out for information on
from losing any family member. As more and Bad Phone Etiquette Killing Our Business? future topics, speakers, and webinar dates in
more pet owners are looking for burial and Attendees listened to actual phone calls that 2023 by visiting www.myplpa.org.

Welcome New Members


Funeral Homes Cemeteries Professionals
• Western Cremation Alliance • City of Fort Collins Cemetery Division • Pet Memorial Services Sdn Bhd
Seattle, WA Fort Collins, CO Puchong Selangor, Malaysia
• Beaches Memorial Park/Ferreira • Crematories • Suppliers
Funeral Home Safe Passages Port Bryant Crematory Services
Atlantic Beach, FL St Lucie, FL Tulsa, OK
• Angel Paw
Temecula, CA
• Boulder Designs
Waco, TX

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 75


NEWS

Catch Up on the ICCFA Webinar Series


Before the New Year!
As an ICCFA member, you have exclusive • The Power of Choice: Choosing to be a • 10 Creative Ways to Serve Pet Parent
access to all webinar recordings in the Leader of Influence—Robbie Pape, SCI Families in Their Loss—Coleen Ellis, CPLP,
ICCFA Webinar Series after they have Two Hearts Pet Loss Center
concluded. Our webinars are designed to • Data Driven Results: How Leaders can
help you succeed in your career, by equip- Use Data to Develop High Perform- • Safety in Your Cemetery - Gino Merendi-
ping you with first-hand knowledge from ing Teams—Lori Salberg, CSE, CXE, no, Merendino Cemetery Care
deathcare’s leading professionals. With the J3TechSolutions
• Does Your Technology Support Your
New Year approaching, now is the perfect
time to catch up on any webinars you may
• Economical Approach to Property/Land- Business Plan? - Nick Timpe, CSE, Jason
scape Management—Don Winsett, Davey Cavett—webCemeteries
have missed in 2022. Log into your ICCFA
Tree
account and click on Webinars under Mem- • Cremation Myths Debunked - Néctar
ber Resources. Here are the recordings that • Effective Trust Fund Management—Jim Ramírez, Forest Lawn Parks & Mortuaries
are currently available: Breaux, Argent Trust
• Words of Compassion - Glenda Stans-
LED LIGHTING PRODUCTS bury, MA, LFD, CFSP, InSight Books
FOR NEW OR EXISTING
COLUMBARIUMS AND MAUSOLEUMS • The Power of Connection - Phil Zehms,
Park Lawn Corporation Kansas City

RELAMPING • What’s New to Get You Sued in 2022?


Is your lighting system in need of - Poul Lemasters, Esq., Lemasters
a technological update ? Counseling
We offer a high quality & easy to
install solution to upgrade your
• Planning for Profit: Reasonable Fis-
cal Management—Phil Tassi, Ferncliff
installation to LED technology.
Cemetery
[email protected] /+1 833 447 4001
WWW.LEDLIGHTINGSENSE.COM Stay tuned for information on the final
two webinars of 2022. To see the list of
upcoming and past webinars in this series,
visit iccfa.com/webinars.
To learn more about membership bene-
fits and services, visit users.iccfa.com and
log in with your username and password.
If you need assistance accessing your
account, please contact the ICCFA at HQ@
iccfa.com or at 703-391-8400.
The Revolutionary First Call Pouch, Cot Cover, & Pet Carrier Solution

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76 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


Rocky’s Got Nothing on Me!
by Taylor Murray

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A WOMAN WHO AGREES TO


THINGS QUICKLY. Does it sound fun? Yes, I will do it! Will it help
someone else? Sure thing. Is it perhaps a bad idea but will make for an
excellent story in the future? Count me in. I handled competing in the
ICCFA DEAD Talks Pre-need Sales Championship just the same when
asked. I figured two things were certain: the information I would gather
from the week would be invaluable and only crazy people turn down a
work trip to Las Vegas.
But as the big day approached, all my excitement gradually became
nervousness. I had learned my fellow pre-need sales championship
contestants were all heavy weights in the industry with no less than a
decade’s worth of experience; some with even three times that.
I often joke that my manager hired me on a Hail Mary. I was an
enthusiastic 24-year-old without a sales background and insurance
producer license when walking into the interview for this job, and now
I was gearing up to step onstage and try to convince 300 people that I
was the best at what I had started a measly 10 months before. Was this
the one time I had agreed to something too quickly? What does it even
take to be the best pre-need sales agent? If it was experience, I was
surely out of luck.
I conducted makeshift interviews every chance I got with every per-
son I encountered from the moment I checked in for my three-day stay
at the ICCFA convention. I stopped Titans of the industry for over 30
years and self-made success stories to ask them for their secrets. I met
bright-eyed hopefuls in their rookie year much like myself and swapped
stories of our most memorable appointments. I took meticulous notes
from each seminar I attended, all in hopes of finding the magic formula
for being an incredible funeral pre-need sales agent. And whenever
asked about what made me qualified to present onstage in front of my
peers, I gave a simple, “I have no idea” with a shrug. I truly did not. 
Even when presentation day rolled around, I was petrified, which is
out of character for me. My brewing case of imposter syndrome had
reached its peak and my nerves were bubbling over the typical confi-
dent façade I wore. I didn’t stand a chance trying to flaunt my knowl-
edge of caskets or my ability to sell the most expensive burial vault, DEAD Talks Pre-need Sales Champion Taylor Murray with 2022 DEAD
but I sure did believe in what I did for a living and cared deeply about Talks Co-Chair Erin Creger
helping the families that came in to see me every day; and I decided to
hold on to that because it was all that I had.
I was driven to give the best present I could by the same thing that and you did not magically transform into the best sales agent after
drove me to go into work every day: my passion for helping people reaching a certain monetary goal. You were the best by being the most
navigate what will be one of the most difficult days of their life. And passionate. 
while stepping from the DEAD Talks stage, the realization hit me like a Competing in, and ultimately winning, the 2022 DEAD Talks pre-
ton of bricks: the best pre-need sales agents operate with their main need sales championship is engraved in my memory forever. The level
goal being helping families—nothing else. We all had given completely of support and encouragement I received from my peers is something I
different presentations for the audience, but one thing remained con- will take with me and apply to all the relationships I develop in my life—
sistent among us all and that was the fact that we love what we do. professionally as well as personally. And I will always remember to do
There were no secrets gained after a certain amount of years everything I do with passion and service at the forefront of my mind. 

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 77


NEWS

Attend DEAD Talks 2023 and


Learn the Right Way to Have ‘Small Talk’
Many of us were taught: If we stay current
on weather or sports news, we’ll always have
something to talk about with a stranger. In
the business world, this is often seen as safe
“small talk”, but can it really connect people
interested in finding solutions to business
problems or services? The short answer is
“maybe”.
For sales professionals in the deathcare
profession, finding solutions for a family
in-need is of paramount importance and the
noblest of endeavors. Sports talk isn’t appro-
priate. Talk about the weather probably isn’t
either. But a connection must be made be-
tween the deathcare sales profession and the
families they serve. Active listening and com-
passion go a long way and connecting with
others is a skill that can always be improved.
At DEAD Talks 2023, join us for two and a half
days of networking, fellowship, learning, and
fine-tuning of your communication skills as we
strive to better serve our families.
For 2023, the ICCFA Sales and Marketing
Committee, and our co-chairs Ann Marie St.
George and Phil Tassi, are excited to feature
a comprehensive, overarching theme of
effective communication, and keynote speaker
LaQuita Cleare from the Clear Communication
Academy is leading the charge. LaQuita truly
understands the delicate balance between
the art of storytelling and the science behind
it. She has written stories, performed stories,
produced stories, and helped hundreds of
leaders and companies get in on the secrets
of good storytelling with her Storytelling to
Drive Business: How Stories Can Motivate & Co-chairs Mike Harens and Erin Creger in their robes, and Sales & Marketing committee member
Ben Upton, bringing in the Pre-need Sales Championship Belt!
Persuade keynote address. Need to brush up
on your presentation skills? LaQuita has you
covered with her highly interactive Dynamic Why Cremation Selling Should Be traditional services presentation to crema-
Presentations Workshop: Structure and Tools No Different tion families and positively impact family
To Make You Standout. For our Thursday • Speaker: Néctar Ramirez, Forest Lawn satisfaction and your average cremation
lunchtime supplier session, LaQuita will Memorial-Parks & Mortuaries policy value. 
present a second workshop titled Create Your • Session Description: Many pre-need
Elevator Pitch: For One-on-One Conversa- counselors struggle to attain a high average Lunch and Learn How-To
tions and Beyond. policy value when selling to cremation • Speaker: David Bailey, Carriage Services 
Here is just a sample of more great learn- families. Your approach to presenting the • Session Description: Lunch and Learn is a
ing opportunities we’ll feature at DEAD Talks cremation information is often the culprit. concept that been around for a long time,
2023: We will review how you can apply your and like any well-worn idea, it can lose its

78 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


If you are a family service counselor or
deathcare sales professional, then this is
a can’t-miss event! Over the two and a half
days, you’ll gain new strategies and knowl-
edge to ensure success for yourself and your
organization, all while providing better service
to your families. Please join us January 11–13,
2023, at Bally’s Las Vegas Hotel & Casino in
Las Vegas, Nevada!
For the full program, including registration,
hotel information and sponsorship opportuni-
ties, visit www.iccfa.com/sales. 

Dan Kientzel of SCI presents “reskilling” your sales team.

energy and impact; but it’s still an incredi- Beyond the Numbers: Managing a
ble opportunity to tell the story of Pre-Plan- Successful Sales Team
ning in a winsome and compelling way to • Speaker: Bob Gordon, Jr., Cypress Lawn
as many people as possible, in the shortest Cemetery Association 
amount of time. We all want our Lunch and • Session Description: There’s a lot more to
Learns to be powerful and effective – come managing a sales team than excelling at
find some new ideas and inspiration to sales. In this fast-paced session, Bob Gor-
make that happen for you!  don, Jr., President and CEO of the Cypress
Lawn Cemetery Association, will present
Top 3 Community Outreach his top tactics for growing and leading
Programs successful sales teams. Both seasoned sales
• Speaker: Mark Anthony Panciera, Panciera leaders and new sales leaders alike will gain
Funeral Homes and Cremation  strategies they can put into action right
• Session Description: Sales is the oldest away. 
profession known to man, and new age For only $695, ICCFA members can ac-
marketing is the required innovation for this quire new strategies to go above and beyond
oldest profession. Without social selling for the families they serve. But you’ll want
you can expect the same results that you’ve to hurry! Sign up by December 7 to receive
experienced for generations. Have you ever the early bird registration rate before rates
thought about Marketing being superior to increase on December 8. Be sure to make your
Sales? This talk will help you embrace that hotel reservations at the host hotel Bally’s Las
thought. Learn the three simple break- Vegas Hotel & Casino (soon to be Horseshoe
through steps of social selling that will Las Vegas) where you can book your room
honor tradition while igniting your firm’s at the ICCFA discounted rate of only $69 per
growth.  night. This does not include a $30 resort fee
(per night) and applicable taxes.

NOVEMBER 2022 MEMENTO MORI 79


CALENDAR OF EVENTS

January 11–13, 2023 May 16–19, 2023 June 25–27, 2023


ICCFA DEAD Talks Sales Conference 2023 ICCFA Annual Convention & Southern Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral
Bally’s Las Vegas Hotel & Casino | Las Vegas, Exposition Association State/Regional Convention
NV Loews Kansas City Hotel & Kansas City Park Vista Hotel, Gatlinburg, TN
Visit https://iccfa.com/sales/ for more Convention Center, Kansas City, MO For Information contact: Cindy Foree,
information Visit https://iccfa.com/annual/ for more SCCFA/CAT Executive Director, (615) 714-
information 9605, [email protected]

ADVERTISER INDEX

American Cemetery/Mortuary Consultants Inc. (ACMC)���������72 Homesteaders Life Company �����������������������������������������������������������17

Answering Service for Directors (ASD) �����������������������������������������61 International Memorialization Supplier Association (IMSA)���� C3

Bancorp�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������16 Kanga-Woo�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������76

Bogati Urn Company �������������������������������������������������������������������������63 KMI Columbaria����������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 9

Carrier Mausoleum�����������������������������������������������������������������������������37 Kryprotek ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������54

C&J Financial, LLC�����������������������������������������������������������������������������33 Kyber�����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������57

Classic Plastics�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������72 LED Lighting Sense�����������������������������������������������������������������������������76

Columbarium by Design, LLC ���������������������������������������������������������15 Marquee Box Group���������������������������������������������������������������������������61

Continental Computer Corp. �����������������������������������������������������������41 Matthews Cemetery Products�����������������������������������������������������������55

Eickhof Columbaria, Inc.�������������������������������������������������������������������49 Merendino Cemetery Care ����������������������������������������������������������������� 5

Ensure-A-Seal���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������50 National Mortuary Shipping (NMS) �����������������������������������������������61

The Foresight Companies, LLC.�������������������������������������������������������65 Nomis Publications�����������������������������������������������������������������������������61

The Foresight Companies, LLC.�������������������������������������������������������67 Obermayer �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������79

The Foresight Companies, LLC.�������������������������������������������������������69 OpusXenta �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������64

The Foresight Companies, LLC.�������������������������������������������������������71 Passages��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 7

Foundation Partners Group����������������������������������������������������������������� 8 PlotBox �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������23

funeralOne������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ C4 Premier Columbaria���������������������������������������������������������������������������61

Gather���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������51 Regions Bank ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������59

Global Bronze����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 1 Sich Caskets�����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������11

Grever & Ward Inc.�����������������������������������������������������������������������������66 Supply Link—Multiview���������������������������������������������������������������������70

Holland Supply Inc.�����������������������������������������������������������������������������53 Tecstone Granite���������������������������������������������������������������������������������29

Homecoming, Inc.������������������������������������������������������������������������������ C2 The Wilbert Group �����������������������������������������������������������������������������13

80 MEMENTO MORI NOVEMBER 2022 www.iccfa.com


JOIN THE
MOST TRUSTED
RESOURCE OF FUNERAL AND CEMETERY SUPPLIER COMPANIES

Since 1976 IMSA has been empowering cemetery and funeral


service providers by advocating for unity with various industry
associations and ensuring greater access to supplier products
and services. Our organization of companies is committed
to supplying quality products and services to the funeral
profession while providing the leading best practices and
standards in the industry.

MEMBER BENEFITS

Marketing initiatives that promote IMSA members A Press Release Service Exclusively for You

A Code of Ethics to differentiate IMSA Suppliers Funeral & Cemetery Association Savings

FIND A SUPPLIER OR BECOME A MEMBER AT WWW.IMSA-ONLINE.ORG

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