March 2023 5th Edition This handbook provides overview information that may be useful to those experiencing intimate partner/domestic violence. It was created in concert with a video series about local services that can be found at: survivortoolkit.ca. The creation and publication of the Out of the Shadows guide was made possible with funding from the Government of Ontario Ontario @YOU ARE NOT ALONE This handbook was created to assist those dealing with violence in their intimate relationships. It is intended to assist survivors to access the tools and connect with the people and resources in our community so that they can make informed choices about their situation. SURVIVORS Throughout this handbook the term ‘survivor’ will be used whenever talking about someone who has experienced violence in a relationship with an intimate partner. DISCLAIMER While every attempt was made to provide accurate, comprehensive information, we cannot be responsible for any errors or omissions. This manual is not a replacement for professional advice or counselling. Please contact the service providers listed to ensure the information is current and meets your needs.TABLE OF CONTENTS Section 1 - Introduction Emergency Numbers DVIIPV & Sex Trafficking What Violence/Abuse can look like Is my partner abusive checklist Traits of an abusive partner Power & Control Wheels High-Risk Situations The Cycle of Violence Ways you can help yourself What makes it hard to leave? Section 2 - Things to Consider IDV/IPV Service Hubs If you decide to stay How it might feel Documenting Abuse Section 3 - Safety Planning Safety Planning Items to pack If you have left or there is a'No Contact Order’ in place If you are involved with the justice system No Contact order resources Safety in the home Internet & Cell phone safety Social media & devices/accounts Internet/Tech Safety Safety Outside the Home Car Safety Child Safety Planning Safety Planning with Young children Child Safety Planning Checklist Older Adult Safety Planning Checklist - Documents and other important items My Safety Plan My Children's Safety Plan 6 7 8 Section 4 - Deciding to Leave Making the Move Moving Onward Involving the Police - What to expect Victim Services/Supports The Criminal Process Getting Legal Help Shelters & Housing Addictions Help for the Abusive Partner Mediation Finances Debt Management Record of Debts Lost or Stolen Cards Insurance Changing your Address Utilities Landlord & Tenant Issues Food & Clothing Pets Section 5 - Finding Help Emergency/Crisis Lines Medical Services Emergency Housing/Shelters Housing Help Justice Services Legal Help Counselling Support & Referrals Services for Parents & Children Indigenous Services Safety Planning Glossary of Terms Choosing tomorrow 114oh ate) ee “Nobody, but nobody, can make it out here alone" Maya Angelou from the poem AloneEMERGENCY NUMBERS Police, Fire, AMBUIANCG? oes ceceeseeseeeseecseeseeeeeene 911 Anishinabek Police (Curve Lake) 705-657-8892 Brighton OPP: on. 613-475-1313 Campbellford OPP: 705-653-3300 Cobourg OPP: 905-372-5421 Cobourg Police Servic 905-372-6821 Hiawatha First Nation: eeitaite 911 Kawartha Lakes Police Kawartha Lakes OPP 705-324-6741 Peterborough Police Service! ee 705-876-1122 Peterborough County OPP: _ 705-742-0401 Port Hope Police Service: . ... 905-885-8123 Community Services Information - Free, 24/7 & 211 multilingual, Call or text. Web Chat also available. 2110ontario.ca 24/7 CRISIS NUMBERS 4 County Crisis (ACC) oo....eeeeccccsssssssseeeeeeenisssssees 866-995-9933 or 705-745-6848 Cornerstone, Northumberland _ 800-263-3757 Femmes-Aide ost 7 800-336-2433 Kawartha Sexual Assault Cente 866-298-7778 TeleCare Peterborough 705-748-5901 Women's Resources, Lindsay 705-745-2273 705-878-3662 800-461-7656 705-991-0110 YWCA Peterborough Haliburton YWCA Text line 6INTRODUCTION This handbook will provide website links via Quick Response (QR) code (like the one below) that is linked to the organization's webpage. To use a QR code - open the camera app on a mobile device and place it over the QR code, the website link will pop up - click on the website link to be taken to that webpage. WHAT IS DOMESTIC/INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE? Domestic (relationship or intimate partner) violence is any form of abuse, assault, mistreatment or neglect that a person experiences from a family member, or from someone with whom they have an intimate relationship. This violence can range on a continuum of power and control including sexual, emotional, financial, psychological, cultural, spiritual and physical. It can occur when dating, within intimate relationships, common law, marriages and interpersonal family dynamics as well as other relationships of dependence. Violence in a relationship can happen to anyone and the abusive partner can also be anyone. Throughout this handbook Domestic/Intimate Partner Violence is referred to as DV/IPV. For more information about Intimate Partner | Violence visit: learningtoendabuse.ca or scan this QR Code with the camera of a mobile 1 device. mi WHAT IS SEX TRAFFICKING? Sex Trafficking can occur in the context of DV/IPV. The partner/abuser and/or guardian may share sexual images, and recordings of you and/or your children with others, without your consent. They might also require, force or trick you and/or your children to engage in exotic dancing and/or sexual acts with someone other than them. They may claim that these acts are your way of helping you pay back debt you owe them. For more information please visit: https:/Avww.canadiancentretoendhumantraf ficking.ca/need-help or scan the QR code with a mobile deviceWHAT VIOLENCE/ABUSE CAN LOOK LIKE Sexual Abuse may look like: + Pressure to have sex when you don't want to + Using or hurting you with weapons or objects during sex + Verbally abusing you in sexual ways + Accusing you of cheating + Jealousy of other relationships you had/have * Trying to make you dress in a sexually provocative or demeaning way + Demanding sex after they have beaten you + Treating you as an object or enforcing strict gender roles + Holding you down during sex + Making threats if you don't perform sexual acts + "Choking out" or strangulation during sex + Involving others in sexual activities with you without your consent/pressures you Emotional Abuse may look like: + Name calling or constantly criticizing you + Isolating you from family or friends + Putting you down in any way + Penalizing you by not showing affection + Not trusting you + Acting jealous or possessive + Supervising everywhere you go, tracking who you call and who you are with + Threatening to hurt you or your children, family or family pets + Expecting you to ask for permission to do anything Financial Abuse may look like: + Forcing you to stay home instead of working + Controlling finances or refusing to share money + Taking complete control over bank account/cards Psychological Abuse may look like: + Threatening to harm themselves or others (pets & children) + Threatening to leave the relationship + Doing things intentionally to frighten youCultural/Spiritual Abuse may look like: Threatening to ‘out' someone as LGBQTZ2S if their friends and family don't know Using racial slurs against you Not letting you observe the dietary or dress customs of your faith Not allowing you to attend ceremonies or church Physical Abuse may look like: Leaving you in a dangerous or unknown place Throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc. Slapping, kicking, pushing, biting, or choking you Not permitting you to call police or emergency services (e.g. hospital) Not allowing you to leave your home or locking you in Threatening with any use of weapons Using physical force in attempt to have sex Hurting your children or pets Strangulation or pressure on your neck so you can't breathe Putting you in danger while driving Not allowing you to drive/have a license Not allowing you to work or go to social activities NOTES:IS MY PARTNER ABUSIVE CHECKLIST Isolation: | am separated from others 0 My partner monitors my movements, use of internet/telephone 0 My partner becomes jealous without cause 0 My partner makes me account for my time O My partner makes it difficult for me to become or stay employed OD My use of a vehicle is unreasonably restricted 0D My partner controls or monitors my contact with family or friends 0 My access to medical care is controlled O00 My partner withholds affection to punish me 0 My partner tries to turn others against me 0 My partner doesn’t allow me to join clubs or groups Privilege: | am treated as less than equal D My partner treats me like a servant or child. 0 My partner doesn’t allow my input into decisions. 0 My partner says; “You are nothing,” or “You can’t make it on your own.” 0 My partner makes me do things I’m not comfortable with. 0 My partner downplays or ignores my accomplishments. 0 My partner says things to erode my self confidence Economic Abuse: | don’t have a say in finances 0 My partner controls all the money and makes me account for every cent. OD My partner blames me for our financial problems OD My partner makes me ask for basic needs 0 My partner does not allow my input on financial decisions. 0D My partner must give permission before money is spent 0 My partner overspends or gambles 10Sexual Abuse: Sex is not a mutually agreed act 0 My partner uses sex or withholds sex as punishment Oo My partner pressures or forces me to have sex or do unwanted sexual acts 0 My partner flirts with others or has affairs to humiliate me OD My partner treats me like a sex object 0 My partner inflicts pain during sex 0 My partner misuses contraception purposefully 0 My partner compares me negatively to other sexual encounters Psychological Abuse: Mental stress O My partner threatens to turn people against me O My partner threatens to leave the relationship 0 My partner threatens to take away our children 0 My partner threatens to harm me and/or others if | leave O My partner threatens to commit me to an institution O My partner threatens to withdraw sponsorship O My partner fakes/exaggerates illness or hurts him/herself to gain attention and control UO My partner drives irresponsibly/illegally to frighten me Anger and Intimidation O My partner has sudden mood changes oO My partner gives me the silent treatment or gets “that look” 0 My partner shouts, yells or pounds on things when angry 0 My partner hits, throws or kicks things 0 My partner stomps out of the house/room or slams doors O My partner makes, or threatens to make, false complaints to the authorities and others about me 11Immigrant/Cultural Abuse Oo My partner threatens to cancel my sponsorship/have me deported 0 My partner lies about my current status 0 My partner provides false information about immigration laws/process O My partner uses religion and cultural practices to threaten or isolate me from accessing supports 0 My partner undermines me because of my race, religion or country of origin 0 My partner makes false allegations to immigration officials 0 My partner threatens/tries to remove my children from Canada 0 My partner makes threats about penalties in my country of origin 0 My partner uses or glorifies patriarchal cultural practices 0 My partner refuses to acknowledge divorce because of religion Physical Abuse O My partner throws things at me 0 My partner pushes, grabs or shoves me 0 My partner pulls my hair, twists my limbs 0 My partner pins me to wall, the floor or furnishings O My partner chokes/strangles me O My partner kicks, hits, punches, pinches or pokes me OU My partner strikes/threatens to injure me with an object/)weapon 0 My partner tries to run me down with a vehicle 0 My partner has physically and/or sexually abused the children 0 My partner tortures or has killed a pet 0 My partner deprives me of sleep or food 0 My partner adds laxatives or purgatives to my food 0 My partner denies me access to the bathroom 12Emotional Abuse 0 My partner belittles me or puts down my appearance CJ My partner implies | am “stupid” O My partner calls me names and swears at me CJ My partner says | am crazy and irrational 0 My partner falsely accuses me of having an affair 0 My partner ridicules me in front of family and friends 0 My partner shows no concern for the children’s needs C0 My partner gets angry when the children cry or need something CJ My partner goes through my personal things 0 The children’s friends are frightened so they no longer visit C My partner destroys my things (J My partner demands obedience from me like I'm a servant C0 My partner makes major decisions without my input C My partner treats me like I'm inferior CJ My partner tells me that | can't cope without him/her/them 0 My partner is coercing (forcing) me into marriage through threats or force NOTES: 13TRAITS OF AN ABUSIVE PARTNER An abusive partner... Often “blows up” during small incidents. They is often easily offended; they claim that their feelings have been hurt after the blow-up. May have unrealistic expectations and may expect you to fulfill all of their needs. The abusive partner may say, “If you love me...” Tends to be moody and unpredictable. Explosiveness and mood swings are typical of people who hurt their partners. Is extremely jealous: At the beginning of a relationship, an abusive partner may claim that jealousy is a sign of their love, however jealousy has nothing to do with love. Isolates you: They may try to remove you from your family/friends and other social supports, telling you that these supports are wrecking your relationship or “causing trouble”. Is insecure and usually thinks poorly of themself May have a history of abuse: they may admit to hitting others in the past, but will claim the person “asked for” it. An abusive partner will hit any person they are with; situational circumstances do not make a person abusive Will often abuse alcohol and/or drugs May say things that are intentionally cruel and hurtful in order to degrade, humiliate, or diminish your accomplishments. Often uses physical force during arguments May act out instead of talking about how they feel Blames others for their own problems Uses manipulation, often saying things like "you made me mad" May be cruel to animals and/or children Uses tracking software on your devices to track your whereabouts 14+ May have a fascination with weapons. + Often makes threats of violence by breaking things, hitting objects or throwing things. + Often uses verbal threats. + May say things like "You're stupid.” Or "You're nothing without me." Or" You'll never find anyone else who will love you." + May have a family history of violence. + Is very controlling. + May be quick to escalate relationships. Many people in abusive relationships date or know their abuser for less than six months before they become engaged or live together. + May use “playful” force during sex, and/or may want to act out sexual fantasies in which the other person is helpless. NOTES: 15"An Unhealty Relationship" Think about the checklists above Using Male Privilege: Aman believes he has the right to dominate, control and use physical violence to force ‘his’ woman to submit. Coercion: persuading someone to do something by using force or threats: Coercion &Threats Emotional ‘Abuse Isolation Privilege Blaming Denying Minimizing Children at ; The characteristics of an abusive relationship are displayed in the power and control wheel. Are these characteristics familiar to you? "A Healthy Relationship" ‘Negotiation and Fairness The characteristics of a strong, healthy, respectful relationship are displayed in the Equality Wheel. Notice that they're very different from the characteristics above. Are these characteristics familiar to you? Economic Partnership Shared Responsibility Trust and Support Responsible Parenting Accountability 16HIGH-RISK SITUATIONS High-risk situations can lead to life-threatening incidents. Please read this list carefully and check all that apply o My partner has access to weapons: guns, hunting/kitchen knives, household tools, crossbows, bats, plastic bags, rope and poisons My partner threatens me with weapons My partner has put pressure on my neck (with their hands or an object in a ‘choking or strangling’ manner) My partner threatens to torture, mutilate or kill my pet My partner confines me/my children against our will My partner threatens to kill me, my family, friends and/or pets 000600 My partner daydreams or talks about death and dying. Write down the details of your partner's fantasies with dates and times My partner follows me O O 0 Mypartner might know that | plan to leave (| recently left my relationship with my partner If you have checked any of the boxes above, it's time to talk to someone. Every 6 days a woman is killed by her intimate partner in Canada. Your life is valuable. Please reach out today. Please contact one of our network partners for guidance on what to do. Find the listing of services in the back of this handbook or by scanning the QR Code or visiting: ccrc-ptbo.com/pdan/help-availableTHE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE There is a pattern in an abusive relationship which repeats itself. Tension Building Phase Abuser shows anger and violent behaviour. Honeymoon Phase Abuser attempts to reconcile, offers apologies and gifts and makes promises to change. Abusive Incident Verbal, sexual, pshychological (threatening), and/or physical. Most people in abusive relationships don’t want the relationship to end; they want the abuse to stop. Often, promises of change may give hope and the reassurance needed to remain (or return to) the relationship with the abusive partner 18WAYS YOU CAN HELP YOURSELF + Take some time and think about how you are feeling. Don't judge or criticize yourself about how you feel, just identify what you are feeling/what is causing you stress right now. + Talk to someone. It could be a trusted friend or someone at an organization or both. There are 24/7 numbers in the front of and back of this handbook you can call anytime. « Eat small, nutritious meals regularly, rest when you can (even if you cannot sleep) and exercise on a regular basis. « Try to develop a daily routine (like going to bed at the same time every night) + Do something each week that brings you joy (bird watching, playing cards with your kids, watching a television show). + Take time to breathe deeply when you are feeling overwhelmed. + Build a strong support system, whether that's talking to close friends or attending a support group. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT + Abusive partners are responsible for their own behaviour. + Their tactics are designed to control you. + Any act that limits another person’s rights is abuse. NOTES: 19WHAT MAKES IT HARD TO LEAVE? 0 [hope that my partner will stop being abusive. CO [feel | have no safe place to go OC | am fearful of reprisals from my abuser OC Ihave children/pets that make it harder to find housing (7 Ihave concerns about my finances/unemployment OC !am afraid of being alone © | (or others close to me) see divorce as shameful C [fear the police will not help me C | fear calling the police will make things worse CO [feel no one will come to my aid © | feel responsible for the abuse “If only | had not....” C1 | fear the threats of taking the children will come true C0 | fear my abuser will retaliate on the children C1 | fear religious, family and social pressures if | leave 1am unsure/unaware of community and other resources available | feel all children should be raised by two parents C0 | feel | have no control over my own life C I view the violent outbursts as isolated incidents C1 | fear for the safety of those who would help me (C | blame myself for the abuse C1 | believe that they love me, and didn’t mean it C | feel it is safer to stay rather than face the unknown C | feel that there is a lack of understanding/support by professionals or other people | could ask for help NOTES: 20Considering options including leaving an abusive relationship can be a difficult decision to make, but there are supports available locally that can help you begin the process and better understand what is involved. If you're not sure where to start, please consider reaching out to or visiting the DV/IPV Service hub in your area. These Service hubs are a place where multiple service organizations (legal, child welfare, housing, victim services, counselling, income supports etc) are available to help people who have concerns about the safety of their relationship. Region: Peterborough City & County, Haliburton mt =[=] Hub: YWCA START - Support Team for Abuse Response Today Day/Time: Mondays 9:30am - 3pm i Phone: 705-743-3526 = Text: 705-991-1591 Website: ywcapeterborough.org/START Region: Northumberland Hub: Thrive Northumberland Women's Drop-In Centre Day/Time: Mondays 9am - 12pm Text: 289-677-5510 Website: thrivenorthumerland.com Region: Lindsay & Kawartha Lakes Hub: Bridges of Kawartha Lakes - Women's Resources Day/Time: Mondays 9-3 Phone: 705-878-4285 Website: womensresources.ca/bridges- Bl kawartha-lakes The next sections will discuss further information about different considerations including documents, safety planning, exit plans and the criminal justice system. At the back of this handbook is information about the different service providers in Peterborough City and County listed by type of service.IF YOU DECIDE TO STAY + Get support - pick at least one person you can trust to tell. Identify the people who make you feel safe, support you, listen to you, and won't judge or criticize you. This is your support system. + Build back your self-esteem and reduce isolation - seek a counsellour, join a support group, take a course etc. + Be cautious about telling your partner about new activities or supports + Learn and plan how to keep yourself (and your children) safe - please see the 'Safety Planning’ section for what might work for you, visit one of our network partners or visit a DV/IPV service hub: listed on page 25 + Know how to get help and get you (and your children) out of the home to safety when needed + Document all incidents: See the 'Documenting Abuse’ section + Ifyou can, let a neighbour know to call the police if they hear fighting. Counselling A Counsellor may be able to help you and your partner identify harmful/abusive behaviours and ways to manage communication/relationship challenges. There are a number of options for seeking either individual or relationship counselling. Please see the ‘Counselling, Support & Advice’ section at the back of this handbook or scan the QR code for that section of the PDAN website. NOTES: 23HOW IT MIGHT FEEL How may it feel? « Itis common for people to experience a loss of identity after leaving a relationship + Re-establishing ourselves may mean getting to know ourselves better and this can feel scary, exciting, and empowering + Itis common to feel different emotions that can be overwhelming, contradictory, and unexpected. Being kind to ourselves and remembering not to judge is important + Difficult emotions are completely normal and valid Grief + Grief is a common part of the process following the end of a relationship « There is no "normal" way to experience grief; we all cope with loss in different ways and the time it takes to heal will vary on an individual basis + Itis normal to question why we are grieving but remember that grieving is normal after the end of any close relationship. + It may be helpful to reach out for support (i.e. a counsellor or a loved one) + Itis normal to grieve the good times with a previous partner; we should not judge ourselves for feeling this way Anger + Itis common to feel anger and frustration after a separation. It can actually be positive to allow ourselves to fell and sit with with these emotions + Itis ok to express anger and there are excellent ways to do this, such as screaming in private, journaling, and drawing/painting + Itis important not to judge ourselves when we are feeling like this; these emotions are completely normal and even healthy 24Feelings of Failure + Many people may feel that admitting “failure’ in a relationship means they are inadequate, but this is far from the truth + Itis important to recognize the immense amount of strength we have as individuals Anxiety and Loss of Control + Feelings of loss and control are normal during transition periods + We are essentially relocating control from our partner to ourselves and this can be both scary and freeing + Becoming comfortable with having more freedom and control over ourselves can take time Loneliness «+ Itis normal to take time to trust other or another partner after experiencing hurt from a previous relationship. This may actually be a means of self-protection + Itcan be helpful to reach out to loved ones who we trust and are non-judgmental Temptation to Reconcile + Experiencing temptation to reconcile the relationship is common + This can be complex as reconciliation is often due to various reasons outside of our control, such as fear, guilt, stigma, finances, children and lack of support NOTES: 25DOCUMENTING ABUSE As soon as you are Safe, it is important to document what happened to you for reference later when speaking to police, medical personnel, your lawyer etc. Consider the following when making your notes. + Geta blank notebook to keep your notes in + Write the date and time that the abusive incident(s) happened and as much detail as possible + Write who was there during or after the incident, what happened to you and what happened afterward « Write down anything that your partner said to you, even if there was no physical harm. ** This is especially important if your partner made threats against you, your children or anyone else If you were physically hurt: **Seek medical attention + Write down what happened to you including exactly where your injuries are and how you were hurt (punch, slap, kick, bite, hair pull etc). + Include how many times you remember being hit and how serious your injuries were (sprained wrist, cuts that needed stitches). + *** ANY pressure on your neck can be life-threatening even if you didn't lose consciousness. Go to your nearest hospital for assessment and ask to be connected to the SA/DV Nurse at th PRHC Emergency Dept right away. + If you see a doctor or a nurse - they can add details to your notes and/or provide you with a diagram that will make it easier for you to document your injuries. + Take photos of any injuries that you have. The team in the SA/DV unit at PRHC can help you with this. + Keep all of your notes somewhere safe where your partner cannot find/access them like a safe deposit box at a bank or a postal outlet. You could have them kept in a photo frame behind a picture or with a trusted family member or friend. You can also ask for ideas when speaking with one of our network partners about safety planning. 26SAFETY PLANNING A Safety plan is a personalized plan for individuals experiencing abuse that helps survivors stay safe while planning for ways to react when in danger. A safety plan can help to protect you whether you choose to remain in the home or leave. It can also be very important to those in abusive relationships who do not live with their abusive partner. Planning ahead will help you make quicker decisions when in danger You are the best person to assess your own situation and it is important to always trust your instincts. The following are guidelines only, please talk to one of our service partners for assistance to create a personalized safety plan for you and your situation. Safety planning if you are still living in the home with your abusive partner + Think about signs that abuse/violence might occur Identify safe areas of the home where there are no weapons (i.e. the kitchen, bathroom, stairs) and there are ways to leave safely. Stand near an exit if an altercation occurs Memorize or have a copy of emergency contact numbers Let trusted friends or neighbors know of your situation/when to call for help + Develop a signal or code word (for example, texting your neighbor a sunshine emoji means call police) + Practice an evacuation plan with your children + Ensure your car always has gas and park facing the road (back in) + Keep a stash of cash or gift cards somewhere your partner won't find it Have someone check in on you regularly Prepare reasons you may need to leave the house during the day or at nighttime (for example, doctor's appointments, the school called, family emergency, etc) Ensure your phone is always charged and nearby (Victim Services can provide you with an extra phone for 911 calls) Use a public computer to complete research Don't leave information out that might raise suspicion or escalate abuse 28Consider packing an overnight bag that is easy to access and has the essential items you and your children may need. oO O Oooo0o000 000 Oo Items Medical or assistive devices (glasses, hearing aids, canes etc) Medication Keys Money Address book Change of clothes Comfortable Shoes Toiletries Pictures Jewelry Items of sentimental or monetary value Documents & favourite toys of children or grandchildren (if you are their guardian) Children's devices (IPads, phones, video games) Documents O Birth Certificate OC Social Insurance Card (Health Card (Health records (Drivers License Passport Banking information (chequebook, statements) Children or grandchildren's birth certificates and passports if you are their guardian L] Lease agreements or mortgage payment book (J Home, car or other insurance documents Divorce documents Other important documents like immigration papers Hide the following in a safe place Oo O Oo Oo o © Copies of all of your important documents An extra set of car and house/apartment keys Some extra money A pre-paid cell phone An overnight bag packed with medication and a change of clothes A spare assistive device This information must be updated regularly. While it is helpful to have a completed list and all your belongings packed or hidden, it is always more important to escape a violent situation than to stop and gather lists or possessions. 29Safety planning if you have left the home or there is a "No-Contact" order in place: Refer to the Resources area at the end of this section if you are looking for advice on how to obtain a no-contact order against your partner If there is a no-contact order in place, remember that it can never guarantee that your abuser will follow the rules Always keep a copy of your no-contact order on you or nearby Ensure the police service in your community or other communities you may work, go to school or visit have a copy of the no-contact order Provide a copy of the no-contact order to your workplace, friends, family, your children's school or daycare and other people within your support system Call your local Victim Witness Assistance Program or police if you need a copy of the no contact order Call 911 if your abuser violates the no contact order Keep windows, doors and other entry points locked at all times Speak to your children about when to answer the door and develop a code knock if necessary (see safety planning with children section below) Ensure the outside of your home has lights so that you can see outside at nighttime Ask your neighbors to keep an eye out for you and let you know if they see anyone suspicious ° If certain charges are laid, you may be able to access funds for home safety items like having locks changed or a new cell phone (if you think the accused put a tracking app on your phone). Speak with your local Victim Services about your concerns and if you are eligible. Change your daily routes to work, school, the grocery store, or other places your abuser may know you to be Use the buddy system when going to and from places your abuser may know you to be Make sure your street address is clearly visible and well-lit for police or emergency responders to see If you live in an apartment building, do not put your name on the residence listing in the lobby 30NOTE: If you have questions about a non-association condition or a condition that involves providing written revocable consent as part of provincial supervision order, a Probation and Parole Officer may be able to assist. This is especially important if you would like to revoke the written consent. Please call 705-749-1929 for the Peterborough office. Safety planning if you are involved with the justice system (police, CAS, court, etc) « Request that any personal information about you (address, phone number) is removed or confirm it won't be seen by your abuser/partner « Keep a detailed journal of any abuse you experience or any time you suspect your abuser/partner might be trying to contact you « If police charge your abuser/partner, find out if they will be held in custody or released. + You can provide your input into release conditions to the investigating police officer or through Victim Witness Assistance Program (VWAP) + Provide police with your correct contact information « If your abuser/partner is held in custody, you can contact the Victim Support Line or the Victim Witness Assistance Program (VWAP) to advise you ifMwhen they are released + Victim Witness Assistance Program (VWAP) can support you through the court process + Take screenshots of any messages from your partner and download them to a secure place NOTES: 31When dealing with legal matters, it is always best to contact a lawyer. That said, there are free resources available online that can help you understand your rights and an overview of the legal process when dealing with domestic violence situations. RESOURCES For more information about restraining orders please scan this QR code using mobile device or visit the Ontario Women's Justice Network website at: https://owjn.org For more information about the legal process in domestic violence situations, please visit the Community Legal Education Ontario (CLEO) [a]f website and see the handbook 'Do youknowa_ = * woman who is being abused? A Legal rights handbook’. Please scan this QR code to reach that website or visit: www.cleo.on.ca/en/publications/handbook NOTES: 32SAFETY IN THE HOME Keep a record of unusual phone calls Leave a radio/TV playing or a light on while you are away. Prepare an evacuation plan for you, kids, pets Be very careful about what information or items you throw in the garbage or recycling (e.g. mail, medical/banking information) Put bells on your doors to hear people enter and exit Check your home for unknown gadgets or devices and remove When away from your home overnight, have a trusted neighbor pick up mail and newspapers Be very cautious about who you give your address or phone number to Create a child safety plan with your children, review it often and revise if necessary and have your child keep a copy with them at all times Keep your court orders near you at all times. Give the school, daycare, your place of employment and police a copy of court documents, including restraining orders, custody/access orders and a photo of the accused. It’s also a good idea to give these documents to individual group leaders (e.g. a sports coach) involved in your family’s life. If your partner doesn't live with you, tell people such as your neighbours about your situation. Show them a recent photo of your partner and ask them to call police if your partner is seen near your home or children. Have an unlisted telephone number and block your number when calling out (dial *67 before the number). Be careful with ‘smart devices’ in your home. Email Change your email address if you are being harassed Be selective about who gets your email address Print and keep harassing emails from the accused. They can be given to police to support breach of probation/stalking charges. Block email addresses as needed 33Internet « Change all passwords if you suspect stalking « When creating a password, don’t use words found in the dictionary. Instead use a combination of numbers, symbols and upper/lower case letters. « When creating security questions or passphrases, don't use any information that your partner knows or is able to find out. Some people choose to use fake answers ¢ Turn off ‘auto-save’ features for passwords ¢ Cover your webcam with tape « If you do any Internet research or emailing regarding your safety plan, clear all history and empty the computer's trash. ¢ Cyberstalking is defined as using the internet to harass/stalk. Be aware that this is a crime and report it. * Change your wifi & router password, but consider buying a new router Turn off or limit "Location" functions on all devices/apps Install firewall software even on mobile devices Please see the ‘Internet/Tech Safety’ for more info Use a VPN (Virtual Private Network) connection whenever possible. This protects your privacy and makes it harder for anyone to track your online activity Cell Phones + If possible - change your phone number + If your phone is lost/stolen, be aware of what information is compromised (banking information, address, etc). « Stalking can be enabled by someone tracking your location in real-time through your phone’s GPS. Turn off GPS and location services « If you have concerns, see your cell phone service provider. They can help check for tracking enabled on your phone. + "Geotagging" is enabled by default in many devices, turn it off or disable your GPS. Geotagged photos uploaded to websites can appear on Google Maps, and therefore a search of your name might bring up the location of your home. + Turn off ‘find my phone’ or ‘find my friends’ features. + Delete stored location history (if you have google maps installed - it's a setting in your profile) ey+ Some phone apps/devices have the capacity to operate things in your home (e.g. unlock doors, start car). This could be helpful in an emergency situation, but also means that others can have access to these programs if your phone is lost/stolen. Social Media + Learn about the privacy settings of the social networking sites you use (e.g. Facebook). + Be cautious of what you have posted online about yourself and your children (e.g. photos, tagging yourself at certain locations) as these may be accessible to your partner. Limit what you post « Ask your friends and family not to post information or images of yourself or your children. + Do not use social media accounts to sign into other accounts + Remove your partner's email or devices from your shared accounts and remove all but your own device from the ‘trusted devices' lists. This can typically be found in the settings on a device or app + Consider what information is required to set up these accounts i.e. name, address, credit card info etc. « If you suspect your partner is monitoring your accounts, keep using those accounts (without any location info (even if you open new ones) to avoid alerting them to the new accounts + Create new accounts/profiles if necessary Devices & Accounts my (ex) Partner has access to O Social media accounts (Facebook, Instagram etc) O Smart watches & fitness trackers O Email © Online shopping (i.e. Amazon) 0 Streaming services (Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney+ etc) O Messaging services (WhatsApp, Messenger etc) J Online food or transportation apps/services (Uber) J Cloud accounts (icloud) & photosharing sites O Baby monitors (J Smart home thermostat or speaker (Alexa) OU Children’s Devices (Ipads, gaming systems etc) 35INTERNET/TECH SAFETY Internet Safety Use incognito functions and delete your browsing history when searching online. Scan this QR code for instructions on how to do this. Mobile Phone Safety There are various tracking apps that can be installed on your device to track where you are (sometimes without your knowledge). Please scan this QR code for tips on what to look for on an existing or new device. You can also visit a physical location of your cell phone service provider to ask for assistance from a staff member with safety features on your mobile device Cyber Abuse : : If your partner is sending you threatening messages - take screenshots and keep a log before blocking or deleting any messages. Share copies of these messages with your lawyer. Spyware If your device has a spyware infection you may notice: « Running out of hard drive space + Frequent and persistent pop-ups + Browser takes you to sites you didn't direct it to + There are new programs you didn't download If these apply, take your device to a computer repair shop and ask them to remove spyware. Or download and use free programs like ‘Windows Defender’ Other Tech Safety websites Safety Net Project - exploring technology safety in the context of intimate partner violence, sexual assault, and violence against women www.techsafety.org DIY Cybersecurity for Domestic Violence - a resource of privacy + compassion by HACK*BLOSSOM https://hackblossom.org/domestic-violenceSAFETY OUTSIDE THE HOME Inform your employer, security personnel, friends, teachers, and/or co-workers about your situation. o Employers are required by law to make a safety plan when an employee discloses they are in a DV/IPV situation Request all visitors and/or phone calls to you be screened. Park your car in a secure, well lit area. Ask someone to walk you to your car, especially at night. If you use public transit, sit by the driver or door. Carry a charged cell phone (and charger) with you at all times. If you are using it to dial 911, tell the operator your location first and then if you have time you can explain why you are calling. You can dial 911 from any cell phone, even if it is not activated for regular cell use, as long as it is charged within service range. If you can, avoid areas in which you do not get cell service. Change the places or alter your routines (time of day) when you shop, bank etc. If you feel you are being followed or do not feel safe, go to the nearest service station, police station, 24-hour gas station or drive-thru window to get assistance. Avoid places your partner is likely to go (e.g. stores, banks, bars) CAR SAFETY Try to have at least 1/4 of a tank of fuel at all times Back into driveways wherever possible Make sure your horn works Lock all valuables in your trunk If possible leave the split seat folded over to ensure no one is in your trunk Plan your route before leaving In case of a breakdown, drive slowly to a safe area on the shoulder if possible and put your 4 way hazard lights on Be sure to only open your window 1-2 inches and tie a cloth to the antenna or left door handle to signal distress. 37+ Keep an emergency kit in your car with a flashlight, blanket, snacks, first aid kit, rope, booster cables, phone charger, sand, etc. + If you feel in danger or like you being followed, press the horn repeatedly and drive to the nearest safe place (e.g. police station, gas station). + Write down the license plate number of the vehicle you are concerned about. When leaving anywhere have your keys in your hand When inside the car, lock all doors as soon as you get in Know your location at all times. If you are in rural or unfamiliar areas often, consider downloading the 'What3words' app to your mobile device. When activated - this app will provide you with 3 words to relay to 911 operators. Those three words are connected to your exact location at that time and could mean emergency personnel can reach you faster. To utilize it - simply click on the app and at the top of the screen you will see the three words and a map that mark your current location For more information on safety planning, please reach out to one of our network partners listed in the Safety Planning section at the back of this handbook, or visit CLEO's (Community Legal Education Ontario) website: www.cleo.on.ca and search domestic violence. NOTES: 38CHILD SAFETY PLANNING When children are exposed to violence, they need to have a safety plan in place so they know what to do to keep themselves safe and know how to get help. The following are some things to consider when developing a safety plan with children: + Teach children that, during a violent episode, their job is to get away from the violence, stay safe and, if it is safe for them to do so, get help. + Create a code word - that the parent experiencing abuse and the children know to use if either of them need help. |.e. ‘lemon’ could mean run out of the house to the neighbours house and ‘giraffe’ means call 911. + Teach your children how to call 911 and role play with them, making sure they can provide their address or location, a description of the situation, their phone number and name. Tell them to keep the phone line live - don't hang up. + Identify safe people - family members, friends, teachers, neighbours, police etc. + Identify safe places - like a room in the home or just outside or it could be a friend or family members home close by. + Talk to the supportive people in your children's life so that they know they are part of your child's safety plan « Ifthe Children's Aid Society or another Child Services organization is involved with your family, consider speaking to your worker about the safety plan for your children. « Connect with a counsellor who understands the impact of domestic violence on children. This person can help you with safety planning and help your children to cope with what is happening with their family. + Use formal resources such as the family court, Children's Aid Society and police to help ensure your children's safety. + Talk to your child(ren)'s teacher/other caregivers/activity providers (daycare etc) about safety planning for your children while in their care ** This information is adapted from: Family Court and Beyond - A Survival Workbook for Women by Luke's Place Support and Resource Centre in Durham Region, Ontario 39CHILD SAFETY PLANNING + Keep a journal of your children’s behaviour after they've had contact with your abuser/partner. Include visit dates and times. « Parenting orders can be changed if you believe that your child is being harmed by their other parent. « If your children use devices (tablets, laptops, cell phones etc), note tracking functions. You can disable them while your children are with you and enable them when they are away from you if you are concerned about your child(ren) being withheld from you. « Talk to your child(ren) about the situations they've witnessed and do some safety planning about what to do in future situations like those. While having these conversations, talk to them about their feelings, hopes and worries. + Be aware that different events/occasions (i.e. special events in your children's lives, their age, threats from their other parent etc) may affect your safety plan and adjust accordingly. + Check gifts and belongings for tracking devices Safety planning with young children While infants and toddlers aren't able to follow a plan like older children can, there are things you can do to help them feel safe as you navigate the process of separating from their other parent. + Assure them that you will always come back + Bring your child(ren)'s special items e.g. book, stuffie, toy when moving to a new home or staying in a shelter + Reassure them that they are safe and that their parents both love them. For more information on safety planning and considerations with children please reach out to one of our network members or visit Luke's Place https://lukesplace.ca/do-children-need-a- safety-plan/ or by scanning this QR code with a mobile device. ** This information is adapted from: Family Court and Beyond - A Survival Workbook for Women by Luke's Place Support and 40 Resource Centre in Durham Region, OntarioCHILD SAFETY PLANNING CHECKLIST Below are some tips to provide parents and caregivers of children the information they need to keep themselves and their children safe. © Encourage your child that police are “helpers” (0 Familiarize your child with possible traumatic places before a traumatic event (hospitals, police detachments etc.) (— !f your child is known to wander, create a name tag (name, address, birthdate) to put on their personal belongings C0 If your child is known to wander, purchase a panic button or contact alarm for your home. (1 Create a ‘safety plan’ within your household in case of emergency © Provide your child with a list of emergency phone numbers as well as safe places including addresses and contact information where they can go if needed. Find out what activities your child enjoys and use those to relieve anxiety IF YOUR CHILD HAS OTHER NEEDS Developmental/Physical/Medical/Mental Health © Speak to the specialists you are connected to for advice on your unique situation. O For children who wander consider using an ID bracelet. O Consider creating an “about me” document to provide to emergency personnel, service providers, and family if needed. Include things that make your child happy and things that upset your child, places they feel comfortable/places they would go if they were to leave home. The earlier you get your child connected to service providers the better. Please view “Services for Parents & Children” section for more information. a1OLDER ADULT SAFETY PLANNING This plan can help you prepare for a time when you are afraid or being hurt. You may want to consider answering these questions and/or packing an overnight bag now in case of an emergency. Please see page 29 for the checklist with suggestions of what to pack. If someone is hurting you or you do not feel safe you can call police for assistance. Call 911 or your local police service. It's ok to ask for help and tell someone! « Have a plan for the next time the abuse happens: + Know how to get out of the house safely « Have a safe place you can go (friend/neighbour/relative) Warning signs of older adult abuse Neglect + Dehydration, malnourishment or weight loss « Poorly maintained living environment « Lack of hygiene « Abandonment or confinement of older person + Withholding care + Denying access to necessary health services or medical attention/treatment Physical Abuse + Signs of bruising in unusual areas such as chest, abdomen, face or extremities Inadequate or inappropriate use of medication Unexplained injuries such as broken bones, bruises, cuts Injuries for which the explanation does not fit the evidence Restraint or confinement Unusual patterns of injuries Financial Abuse + Misuse of a Power of Attorney for Property . eens transactions, or unauthorized withdrawal of unds + Taking property without permission + Suspicious or forged signatures on cheques or other documents ao« Standard of living not in keeping with a person's income or assets « Lack of access to banking information + Moving into the home of an older person without their consent and failing to contribute to household costs Emotional Abuse Emotional distress, agitation, or confusion Signs of depression, fear, anxiety, or withdrawal Fearful or nervousness around caregiver or other persons lsolated from family members or friends Older adult or pets are threatened with harm Removal of decision making Sexual Abuse + Non-consensual sexual contact of any kind Coerced nudity Sending or receiving of sexually explicit photos Inappropriate touching or sexual comments Making sexual remarks and/or suggestions to another person « Joking of a sexual nature If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911 Seniors Safety Line (SSL) 1-866-299-1011 The Seniors Safety line is a 24/7 Crisis line “Alm operated by the Assaulted Women's Help Line. & E It is a support and crisis line for seniors in Ontario who have experienced any type of abuse or Ba neglect. Online Counselling is also offered Mon - le Fri 11 am -8 pm Please visit: https://eapon.ca/seniors-safety-line/ or scan the QR code for more information. Elder Abuse Prevention Ontario Is a network of organizations throughout the province empowering communities on issues related to the prevention of elder abuse. A full listing for the local network is in the 'Support and Referrals' section of this handbook. 43DOCUMENTS AND OTHER IMPORTANT ITEMS Identification O Social insurance card(s) OU Driver's license O Birth certificate(s) (J Ontario Senior's card O Immigration/Citizenship papers OU Passport(s) O First Nation's status card/documentation Health O Health card(s) © Medical/Vaccination records O Medical Alert Bracelet(s) OD Medical supplies such as additional Insulin and needles if diabetic Legal O Copies of court orders (restraining orders, peace bonds, probation/parole conditions etc) Any evidence of abuse (pictures, hospital records etc) (J Divorce/Separation Agreement O Wills & funeral arrangements Financial C) Lease/rental agreements O Mortgage agreement O Insurance information © Credit/debit cards J List of assets & liabilities (home, car, boat, other property etc) 0 ODSP/OW Information CO Other U Ident-a-kid kit (contact Victim Services) (Health & dental plan info (J Prescription(s) & medication(s) (] Family Dr. contact info Other medical professionals info: physiotherapist, counsellor, naturopath etc. © Pictures/videos of contents of home (television, jewelry, appliances etc.) CO Marriage certificate or record of common law relationship CO Child custody papers or access agreements © Child support/spousal support payment agreements © Lawyer contact info Most recent income tax return Employment documentation Pay Stubs Work Permits (if applicable) Pension/benefit documentation RRSPiInvestment information Stocks/Bond etc information Hern payment information Pension income Child Tax Credits 44Financial Expenses (J Rent (Banking Info (CD Heat/Hydro (All loan information (list below) (J Water/Sewer (Insurance policies (home, car, O Credit card info life etc) Phone Bill (J OSAP and other student loan Internet/Cable/Satellite bill payments streaming service acct info Amazon and other Oo subscriptions (list below) oO oO Other O Car ownership O School records O Keys (house, car, work, safety deposit, storage etc.) O Valuable jewelry, pictures, sentimental objects UO Address book/day planner/journals, personal contact information, next of kin information OD Clothing for approximately two weeks O Pictures of children, family, pets, vehicle, and abuser (List of usernames and passwords for such things as online banking, memberships, etc. NOTES: 45MY SAFETY PLAN 46MY CHILDREN'S SAFETY PLAN 4748MAKING THE MOVE *Refer to your Safety Plan page** Here are some things to consider when planning your move: Ask for help and talk to someone you trust It is sometimes best not to tell children about plans to leave. Children may feel obligated to tell. If telling your children feels best and safe, there are other options such as having them practice getting out of the house safely with you Identify shelters in surrounding area if needed. Connecting with DV/IPV shelters prior to the move may be helpful Arrange with someone to care for your pets temporarily. The Peterborough Humane Society may be able to help. See Pets page for more information It is normal to experience financial insecurity after separating from a partner. Social Services may be able to offer financial assistance through Ontario Works or other programs. Seeking legal advice may be helpful to learn more about your rights + Consider contacting the police. Ask for an officer who specializes in partner violence Create a plan to get out of the home safely. See the previous section on Safety Planning or visit one of our network partners for assistance (in the Help Available section at the back of this handbook) Social Services Peterborough Office (Ontario Works) Phone: 705-748-8830, Menu option 2 Region: Peterborough City and County Address: 178 Charlotte St, Peterborough, ON K9J 2T8 The application process for OW has moved online but you can visit the OW office for assistance with the application. For more information about OW or to complete an application, please visit: https:/Awww.peterborough.ca/en/city- services/ontario-works.aspx or scan the QR code with a mobile device. at 49MOVING ONWARD Moving on from a relationship can be one of the hardest things a person does. It is normal to experience uncomfortable emotional and mental effects. Some common feelings may include depression, guilt, anger, loss, and even symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder, such as anxiety, trouble sleeping, being easily frightened or scared, difficulty maintaining relationships, and emotional numbness. Connecting with trusted loved ones or even a counsellor can be really helpful during these times. What is important is that we are kind to ourselves during these difficult times and that we give ourselves time to heal (as much time as we need; everyone is different!). We may also recognize the strength and resilience we have in our ability to bounce back after living through stressful experiences. WARNING: For your children’s and your own personal safety, do not tell your partner about your plans to leave or where you plan to go. NOTES: 50INVOLVING THE POLICE... WHAT TO EXPECT Domestic Violence is defined as ‘a pattern of behaviour used by one person to gain power and control over another person with whom they have or previously had an intimate relationship.’ * Criminal Code offenses include, but are not limited to: property- related offenses, breaches of court orders, harassment/stalking, abduction, forceable confinement, threatening death or bodily harm, assault, sexual assault, and homicide. As a result of a telephone call to the police, the police will come to your location to investigate the allegation of DV/IPV. The police officers will check to see if anyone needs immediate medical treatment and if someone does, they will call an ambulance. The officers will speak with you and your partner separately, asking questions about what happened. They will make observations of any injuries or damage, if any, to you or your property. They may need to speak to anyone who may have witnessed the incident, asking them questions about what they saw or heard. If, after completing their investigation, the police officers are satisfied that a criminal offence has occurred, the officers are mandated to arrest the person who committed the offence. Itis a common misconception that whoever called the police can “drop” a charge, as they are the one who “laid” the charge. However, it is actually the police who decide to charge someone (unless an individual lays a private complaint with a Justice). Once the police have laid a charge, the complainant does not have the ability to drop the charges. This ability lies solely with the Crown Attorney. *from ontario.ca/page/domestic-violence 51The officers will ask you to provide a video statement about the incident. They will also ask the other witnesses to provide a statement. The officers are required by law to contact the Children’s Aid Society and advise them about what has happened. The Children’s Aid Society will contact you to ensure you and the children are all right. They are there to protect the best interests of the children while working with the strength of the family. The officers may ask to take photographs of your injuries or any damage to your property. Victim Services is available to support you as soon as possible. Please see the 'Emergency Numbers’ page at the beginning of this handbook for contact information for the police services in our region. REMEMBER, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! NOTE: You have rights under the law. eer IRA ORL LRA lOO MOAI acts. Your partner could be charged. NOTES: 52VICTIM SERVICES/SUPPORTS VICTIM SERVICES Victim Services provide emotional support, resources and referrals to victims of crime and tragic circumstances. Their services are confidential and available to anyone in their respective regions regardless of if a charge has been laid. Depending on the circumstances and whether charges are laid, there are a number of resources including information about the judicial system available to you and your children Victim Services Unit Peterborough Police Service 705-876-1122 ext 268 fw Region: City of Peterborough, Village of Lakefield and Township of Cavan Monaghan Website: https:/www.peterboroughpolice.com/en/ Bs “ leam/victim-services.aspx : Victim Services Peterborough Northumberland Peterborough: 705-748-0324. 2 Region: Peterborough County ey = except Lakefield & Cavan Monaghan Cobourg: 905-372-2255 Region: Northumberland Website: https://victimservicespn.ca/ VICTIM/ WITNESS ASSISTANCE PROGRAM (VWAP) Cobourg: (905) 373-4023 Peterborough: (705) 755-5150 Lindsay: (705) 324-1429 Website: https://www.ontario.ca/page/ victimwitness-assistance-program VWAP provides support to victims and witnesses of crime when dealing with court situations, are in need of court support or court prep, wish to speak with the Crown Attorney Office, receive information about charges, basic incidents, probation conditions, or are in need of court updates. VWAP is only involved when charges have been laid. 53THE CRIMINAL PROCESS In Ontario, the police are obligated to charge someone with a crime in all cases where they believe a crime has occurred. Everything you say during a 911 call is recorded and that recording can be used in court. If you fear for your safety or your children's call 911 Types of Intimate Partner Violence Charges: + Assault - where one person applies force to another or attempts or threatens to apply force to them without their consent. Other Assault charges include: assault with a weapon, assault causing bodily har, and aggravated assault. « Sexual Assault - a sexual act or touch that you don't consent to. Could include kissing, touching, fondling or forced intercourse. Other sexual assault charges include: sexual assault with a weapon, threats to a third party or causing bodily harm, and aggravated sexual assault. + Forcible Confinement - If your partner forced you to stay somewhere through threats or physical force. + Uttering threats - your partner has threatened you. + Criminal Harassment - Things like stalking, harassing phone calls or unwanted visits to places you frequent like work or home. Dominant Aggressor The police are to consider the history of a relationship in DV/IPV situations and determine if there is a dominant aggressor before deciding whether and who to charge with a crime. While many abusers are known to lie to police, you need to tell police about details of the assault/abuse and include anything you did to protect yourself or your children. You must be truthful with police. This information has been adapted from: ‘Do you know a woman who is being abused’ - A legal rights handbook. CLEO stepstojustice.caThe police are to investigate the whole situation, including any prior abuse, police involvement, court orders and witness Information. As part of that process they will ask you for details of what happened which can include: writing down what you say, recording it, or a video statement at the police station. It is your choice if you would like to provide a statement. If you do not wish to be recorded - you need to state that to the officer. The officer will go over your statement with you to ensure it's accuracy. You can ask for an interpreter if you need one. Even if no charges are laid, the police complete a report which has an occurrence number attached to it. What is my role if my partner is charged? + Your partner will be given a court date to attend to start the court process (you don't need to attend this) + You can contact VWAP to discuss what the criminal court process will look like. + Ifthe case goes to trial you will be given a subpoena and will need to appear as a witness. You do not have to prove your partner abused you. That's the Crown Attorney's role. Can | go to police myself to report being abused? + Yes, you can report a recent or historic assault to police. If the police had been called in the past but no charges were laid, there will be an occurrence report on file. What happens after the arrest? « If your partner is arrested and charged, they will be taken to the police station. They could be held or released depending on the situation, but there will be conditions upon their release. Ask the police to tell you when your partner is being released. At any time after your partner is charged, you can contact Victim/Witness Assistance Program (VWAP) (705) 755-5360 to keep you informed about the court/criminal process. Further information about VWAP is in the Justice & Legal Help section at the back of this book. This information has been adapted from: ‘Do you know a woman who is being abused' - A legal rights handbook. CLEO stepstojustice.ca+ You can talk to Victim Services at any time about the abuse, safety planning or for more information on the criminal process. Further information is in the back of this handbook. What if my partner threatens me? « Tell the police. Your partner can be charged with other offences including: failing to comply with the conditions of release, obstructing justice, uttering threats, or making indecent or harassing phone calls. Agreements & Conditions + Whether your partner is released from custody by the police or released by a Justice of the Peace at court you have a right to know your partner's release conditions and receive a copy of the order. A common release condition is that your partner cannot contact you. + Ifyou have concerns about your partners release - you can ask the investigating officer or talk to VWAP. For more information on safety planning, please reach out to one of our network partners listed in the Safety Planning section at the back of this handbook, or visit CLEO's (Community Legal Education Ontario) website: www.cleo.on.ca and search domestic violence or scan this QR code. NOTES: This information has been adapted from: 'Do you know a woman who is being abused' - A legal rights handbook. CLEO stepstojustice.ca 56Getting Legal Help & the Justice System It is suggested that you seek legal advice about your particular situation, as each situation is different. You may have a variety of legal issues to be addressed when experiencing DV/IPV. For example: « Family law: child protection, parenting time, decision-making responsibility, financial support + Criminal law: criminal charges against you or your partner, restraining orders, peace bonds « Financial issues: understanding your financial duties and tights to spousal support, child support, dividing property, obtaining income support + Housing support: moving out of the home when experiencing violence + Immigration law: immigration concerns when experiencing violence « Safety planning DVIIPV (Family Violence) Legal Information People who are experiencing domestic violence are eligible for up to five two-hour authorizations in a year (one per legal issue). Please visit: https://www.legalaid.on.ca/services/ domestic-abuse/ or scan the QR code with a mobile device for more information. This service is also offered through some women's shelters, community legal centres, and Family Law Service Centres. Legal Aid is also available virtually over zoom. Community Legal Centres can also provide legal advice and information on a variety of other areas of law including; immigration, financial issues, and housing support. To find your local community Legal Centre, visit: https://www.legalaid.on.ca/legal-clinics/or scan the QR code with a mobile device. These services can also help you understand the various legal processes that are too detailed to include here. Family Law You may have questions about your legal options under family law. If you are in financial need and require family law help, you may qualify for legal aid certificate/visit through Legal Aid Ontario (if financial eligibility requirements are met). 57Getting Legal Help & the Justice System Please call the Family Law Information Centre in your jurisdiction for contact information and schedules: Peterborough FLIC, 470 Water St: 705-876-6915 Lindsay FLIC, 440 Kent St W: 705-324-1400 ext. 413 Cobourg FLIC, 860 William St: 905-372-3751 ext.128 |: Please visit https://www.familycourtmediation.ca/family- [a] law-info-centre or scan the QR code with a mobile device. Legal Aid Ontario 1-800-668-8258 You can call or visit their website here: https://www.legalaid.on.ca/services/family-legal-issues/ or by scanning the QR code with a mobile device. oti Pro Bono Students Canada's program 1-647-952-3354 Depending on your situation you may also be able to speak with a law student for free through Pro Bono Bs Students Canada's Family Justice Centre by phone or by visiting: https://www.probonostudents.ca/family-justice-centre or by scanning the QR code with a mobile device. As noted on page 22 - there are service 'hubs' available that include legal expertise. For Peterborough, it's the YWCA START program. Lukes Place also offers a virtual Legal Clinic that connects women with lawyers for free legal advice on family law issues. Please call 866-516-3116 for more info. Criminal Law If you were charged you will want to speak to a criminal lawyer about the criminal law process. You may qualify for legal aid depending on your circumstances and the charges against you. You can apply for Legal Aid by calling: 1-800-668-8258 or by visiting www .legalaidonline.on.ca and clicking ‘apply online’ or by scanning the QR code. me NOTE: If your court date is within five days, you will need to speak to Duty Counsel at the court house where your court date is held. If your court date is more than five days away, call Legal Aid at the number above and ask to speak with a summary legal advice lawyer who will help guide you through the legal process. 58 Oo aImmigration Law If you are a refugee or immigrant, you may have unique and complex legal questions that need answering. Depending on your financial situation, you may qualify for legal aid for immigration matters. Legal aid provides limited assistance on immigration matters. A family lawyer may also be able to assist with these issues as well. Contact Legal Aid, as noted above to see if you qualify and if they can assist you. Law Society Referral Service If you are unable to find a lawyer or the above referrals are unable to provide assistance, the Law Society of Ontario (LSO) provides a service where you may speak to a lawyer or paralegal for free, for 20-minutes about your legal issue. The Law Society Referral Services (LSRS) and can be reached by calling 1-855-947-5255 or 416-947-5255 or by visiting the website here: https://Isrs.lso.ca/IsrsAwvelcome or by scanning the QR code with a mobile device. Bi iy Self-help Resources CLEO (https://www.cleo.on.ca/en) and Steps to Justice provide, step-by-step guidance for individuals on a variety of legal topics as follows: Family Law https://stepstojustice.ca/legal-topic/family-law Criminal Law https://stepstojustice.ca/legal-topic/criminal- law/going-criminal-court/ Abuse & Family Violence https://stepstojustice.ca/legal-topic/abuse-and- family-violence None of the above are designed to resolve your legal issues, rather, they can help you make an informed decision about the next steps you wish to undertake. 59