GRETCHEN - SIDE 1 of 2

4.8.18 58.

START DAMIAN
Ho Ho Ho! Candy Cane Gram for
Shane Oman.

ENSEMBLE
She has ev’rything!

DAMIAN
And one for Caddy Heron.

ENSEMBLE
She gets ev’rything!

DAMIAN
Four for Glenn Cocco! You go,
Glenn Cocco!

ENSEMBLE
Glenn Cocco! Glenn Cocco! Glenn Cocco!

DAMIAN
Aaaand none for Gretchen Wieners,
bye.

GRETCHEN
(stricken)
Who sent that?

CADY
Aww, it’s from--

ENSEMBLE
Regina! Regina! Regina!

CADY
“Thanks for being such a great best
friend.”

GRETCHEN
(animal)
Kaaaah!
(then sweet)
I mean, cuuuuute! I mean--
(suddenly dark)
Gimme it! I mean--
(spilling the beans)
Okay. Well, if you and Regina are
“best friends” now, you can be in
charge of keeping all her secrets.
For example, she bought you those
high heel shoes just to make fun of
you. ‘Cause she knew you wouldn’t
be able to walk in them. And she’s
not really blonde.
(MORE)
 GRETCHEN - SIDE 1 of 2
4.8.18 59.

GRETCHEN (CONT'D)
Her natural color is dark blonde.
Also she totally cheats on Aaron.
Every Thursday she says she has SAT
Prep, but really she’s hooking up
with Shane Oman in the North Shore
Lions costume!

CADY
She makes him wear the costume?

GRETCHEN
No, they’re both in the costume.
And I never told anyone because I’m
such a good friend.
END
That they can use. Two people go at it in the lion costume.

JANIS/DAMIAN/CADY
(triumphant)
It’s a Revenge Party!
A party that ends
With somebody’s head on a spike!

JANIS/DAMIAN/CADY (CONT'D) ENSEMBLE

A Revenge Party! She gets ev’rything!
With your two best friends! She gets ev’rything!
It’s like a party with She gets ev’rything!
Revenge is what it’s like!
A party with Revenge Regina! Regina!
Is what it’s like!
A party with Revenge Regina! Regina!
Is what it’s like!

ALL
Party with revenge...
Is what it’s like!

SONG BUTTONS.

EXT. SCHOOL - DAY

Cady approaches a perfectly happy Aaron. Janis and Damian

watch from afar.

AARON
Hey, are we studying today?

CADY
Yeah... did you get the text I sent
you?
 GRETCHEN - SIDE 2 of 2
4.8.18 37.
SIDE INTO SONG “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME”
CADY
(chuckles)
Yeah, he’s almost too gay to
function.

The Plastics laugh. Cady worries that she talked out of

turn.

CADY (CONT’D)
I didn’t mean that in a bad way--

REGINA
No. That’s funny. Put that in
there.

As Gretchen writes it in...

GRETCHEN
Cady, don’t worry. We only write
stuff about “randos” in here.
Friends are, like, very deserving
of respect and--

REGINA
--Gretchen, she gets it.
(then)
Karen, come with me. I wanna
change your eyebrows.

Regina leads Karen to the bathroom. Gretchen follows.

KAREN
Can I still have two?

GRETCHEN
Do you need me to come with, or...?
I could film it--?

Regina shuts the door, leaving Gretchen outside.

GRETCHEN (CONT’D)
Okay!
(to Cady)
So are you having so much fun with
us?

CADY
Yeah! How long were Regina and
Aaron a couple?

GRETCHEN
All last year. Did Regina seem mad
at me?
 GRETCHEN - SIDE 2 of 2
4.8.18 38.

CADY
I don’t know. Is she the kind of
girl that he likes usually? With
makeup and stuff?

GRETCHEN
Yes. She did seem mad at me, I
think. It started when I burped in
the car. But I’m talking too much.
Let’s talk about you. Are you a
virgin?

CADY
What?

GRETCHEN
You don’t have to tell me. But
just know that I’m very
trustworthy. Karen’s had sex with
eleven people and I’ve never told
anyone.

CADY
That’s good of you.

Regina and Karen LAUGH offstage.

GRETCHEN
They’re laughing!
(calls through the door)
What? What happened that was
funny?

No answer.

GRETCHEN (CONT'D)
They can hear me.

CADY
Are you okay?

GRETCHEN
Mmhmm. Mmhmm. It’s just...
sometimes I feel like an iPhone
without a case. Like, I know I’m
worth a lot, and I have a lot of
good functions, but at any time I
could just shatter.

Regina and Karen LAUGH offstage. Gretchen knocks on the door.

 Mean Girls
PIANO/VOCAL
(2018) 7
Gretchen

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? Music by

JEFF RICHMOND
[Rev. 11/30/18]

Gretchen Audition Lyrics by

NELL BENJAMIN

Anxious waltz
œ œœ œ œ œœ œ
œœ œ
& 34 Œ Œ Œ œ Œ
1 2 3 4

p
j
& 34 ‰˙ œ ˙ ‰ œj ˙ ‰ œj ˙ ‰ œj ˙
. ˙. ˙. ˙.
5
GRETCHEN:

& Œ ‰
6 7 8

j
3

œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Tell me what's wrong with me, My bo - dy, face, my hair.
œœ œœ œœ œ œ œ œ
œœ œ
& Œ Œ Œ œ Œ

j j
& ‰˙ œ ˙ ‰ œ ˙ ‰ œj ˙ ‰ œj ˙
. ˙. ˙. ˙.

& Œ Œ Ó œ œ
9 10 11 12

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ
Tell me all my man - y faults. Tell me like you care, when we

œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ
& Œ Œ œ Œ Œ œ œ

j
& ‰˙ œ ˙ ‰ œj ˙ ‰ œj ˙
. ˙. ˙. ˙
œ

©2018
PIANO/VOCAL - Gretchen Audition -2- #7 - "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" [Rev. 11/30/18]

& œ œ ‰ œ œ Œ
13 14 15 16

œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ
ggg b ˙˙˙
both know you're cruel, and we both know you're right. I could
˙
& Œ ggg ˙˙˙ Œ ggg ˙˙ Œ ggg b ˙ Œ gg ˙˙˙
ggg ggg ggg ggg
ggg ggg ggg ggg
ggg ggg ggg ggg
g
& Œ˙ gggg Œ gggg ˙˙ Œ ggg Œ gggg
( ˙˙ ) ˙. g ˙. gg ˙˙ g
. g ˙ . gg ˙˙
U
‰ œ
17 18 19 20

& œ œ œ œ ˙ J
œ ˙ œ œa ˙ œ
U
lis - ten to you, like fool all night. What's

œ œ œ œ œœ ˙˙ ..
& Œ œ Œ Œ ˙.

U ?
& œ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙˙ ..
œ œ
21

j
& œ bœ bœ ˙
2

œ ˙. œ bœ .
22 23 24

œ œ

œ œ œ œ œ bœ b œœ œ
wrong with me? How I speak? How I dress? What's

bœ œ œ œ
& Œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ
P
œ ˙ bœ b˙ ˙.
? ˙.

& bœ ‰ j
25 2 26 27 28

œ ˙. œ œ œ œ ˙

b œœœ ˙˙˙ ...

wrong with me? You keep me guess - ing.

œ œ ˙
# n œœœ œ œœ
2

& bœ œ
p
˙. ˙. ˙.
? bœ nœ
2
PIANO/VOCAL - Gretchen Audition -3- #7 - "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" [Rev. 11/30/18]
29

& Œ j œ œ
30 31 32

œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ ˙
Ma - ma called me "beau - ti - ful". Don't be - lieve her an - y - more. Now I'm

œ œ œ œ˙ œ
& Œ œ˙ œœ
Œ ˙˙ Œ œ Œ ˙

Œ ˙˙ Œ ˙˙˙ Œ ˙˙
? ˙. ˙. ˙. ˙.

& œ œ œ
33 34 35 36

˙ œ œ œ œ œ ˙.
list'n - ing to you. What do I do that for?

& ˙. ˙. ˙. ˙.
- -
˙ Œ Œ œ b ˙˙˙ ...
?Œ ˙ ˙. œ œ ˙. œ
˙.
(quiet hum)

˙. ˙. ‰ j
37 38 39 40

& œ œ œ
œ ˙
œ
Please don't ig - nore me. Mm…
œœ
& Œ œ ˙. Œ Œ
œ ˙˙ p
˙˙˙ Œ œ œœ
? Œ˙ . ˙. ˙ j
œ ˙ & ‰˙ œ ˙
.

∑
41 42 43

& œ œ œ œ ˙.
œœ œ œ œœ œ
œ
& Œ Œ œ Œ

j j j ?
& ‰ œ ˙ ‰ œ ˙ ‰ œ ˙
˙. ˙. ˙.
PIANO/VOCAL - Gretchen Audition -4- #7 - "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" [Rev. 11/30/18]
44

& Œ Œ
45 46 47

œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Tell me who we hate to - day, and I will fall in line.

œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ
& Œ œ Œ Œ œ Œ
P
j
? ‰˙ . œ ˙ ‰ œj ˙ ‰ œj ˙ ‰ œj ˙
˙. ˙. ˙.

& Œ Œ Œ ‰ j œ œ
48 49 50 51

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Hug me while my shoul - ders tense and we'll pre - tend we're fine. Though we

& Œ œ œœ Œ Œ œ Œ
˙˙ œ œ œœœ œ
j ˙
‰
? ˙. œ ‰ œj ˙ ‰ œj ˙ ‰ œj ˙
˙. ˙. ˙.

& œ œ
52 53 54 55

œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ ˙
both know one day there'll be blood on the floor. But which

& Œ ggg ˙˙˙ Œ ggg ˙˙˙ Œ ggg b ˙˙˙ ˙˙ ...

gg ˙ g g ˙˙ .

? Œ˙ . ˙˙ Œ
˙. ˙˙ Œ
˙. ˙˙ ˙˙ ..

56 57 58 59

& œ œ œ œ ˙.
œ ˙ œ œ ˙
one will be - tray the oth - er more?

& Œ œ Œ
œ
Œ
œœ œœ ˙˙ ...
œ œ œœ œ ˙
? ˙. ˙. ˙. ˙˙ .. &
PIANO/VOCAL - Gretchen Audition -5- #7 - "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" [Rev. 11/30/18]
60 CADY: I'm gonna go home now. GRETCHEN: Okay. Fun. See you tomorrow!

∑ ∑ ∑ Œ Œ ‰ œ
61 62 63

& J
œ œœ œ œ œ œ
What's
œœ œœ œ œ
& Œ Œ Œ Œ œ œ œ œ
p
j j
‰ œj ˙ ?
& ‰˙ œ ˙ ‰ œ ˙
. ˙. ˙. ˙.
64

& œ ˙
2

œ bœ
3

œ ˙. bœ œ b˙
65 66 67 3

œ œ
œœ œ
wrong with me? Where is my mind? Where does it end?
œœ œ
& œ œ œ œ b ˙˙ .. b ˙˙ b b ˙˙˙˙˙ .....
Œ
F f
2 2

? œ˙ . œ Œ Œ
2

œ b œœ
2

˙. œ b˙ . bœ bœ
œ ˙.
œ

& bœ
68 2 69 70 71

œ ˙. j
œ œ œ. œ œ œ ˙
May - be I need to find a bet - ter friend?
2

& b œœœ œ ˙. ˙ .. ˙˙˙˙ ....

bœ # n œœœ n ˙˙˙ ... œ̇ ˙
p
? bœ
2

˙˙ .. ˙˙ .. ˙˙ ..
nœ ˙. ˙. &
bœ nœ ˙.
PIANO/VOCAL - Gretchen Audition -6- #7 - "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" [Rev. 11/30/18]

95

& ‰ ‰ j ‰ œj ‰ œj œ œ œ
73 74 75

j œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
What's wrong with me? What can I do? What's wrong with me? Could it be you?

œ œœ œ œ œœ œ
œœ œ
& Œ Œ Œ œ Œ

j j j j
& ‰˙ œ ˙ ‰ œ ˙ ‰˙ œ ˙ ‰ œ ˙
. ˙. . ˙.

œ œ j j
& ‰ œJ œ Œ œ œ Œ
76 77 78 79

œ ˙ œ œ œ
–It's prob' - ly me. See that? You see? What's wrong with

œ œ œ œ
œ ˙˙ œ œ œ œœ œ
& Œ Œ Œ

j j j
& ‰˙ œ ˙ ‰˙ . œ ˙ ‰ œ ˙ ˙
. ˙. œ
rall. poco a poco

‰ j
80 (quiet hum) 81 82 83 84

& ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ ˙ œ ˙.
U
˙˙ ..
me? Mm… Mm… Mm…
˙ ˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙ ˙ ˙˙ ..
& Œ Œ Œ Œ
p
j j U
j j
& ‰˙ œ ˙ ‰ œ ˙ ‰ œ ˙ ‰ œ ˙ ˙˙ ..
. ˙. ˙. ˙.
 Mean Girls
PIANO/VOCAL
(2018) 4
Gretchen

MEET THE PLASTICS Music by

JEFF RICHMOND
[Rev. 11/30/18]
Lyrics by
Gretchen Audition NELL BENJAMIN

q = 160, Uptempo Latin Feel

b j
& b b 44 œ ‰ ‰ j ‰
1 2

œœ œœœ j œœœ œœœ œœœ

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
? b b 44
Cm

b ‰ j Œ ‰ j Œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ

GRETCHEN:
j
bbb ‰ œ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœ ‰œ œ œ œ œ œ
3 4 5 6

& œ œœ œ œ œœœ
Yes, Re-gi-na. No, Re-gi-na. Ev - 'ry wak - ing ho - ur I spend mak-ing sure Re-gi-na George can stay in pow-er.

b j
& b b œ œœ œœœ ‰ j œœœ œœœ ‰ j ‰ œœœ ‰ j b œ œœ ‰ j b œœ œ
‰ j‰
œœ
j
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ
b
? bb
Cm D

b ‰ jŒ œ ‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ œ ‰ jŒ
œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ bœ œ œ

bbb ‰ j ‰ œj œ œ
7 8 9 10

& œ œ œ œnœ œ œ œ œ œnœ œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ

If Re -gi-na is the sun, then I'm a dis-co ball. 'Cause I'm just as bright and fun, if you've had al -co-hol.

b j j j
&b b ‰ j œœ œœ ‰ j œœ
œ œ œ œ
œœ‰ œœœœ ‰ œœœœ ‰ j œœ œœ ‰ j œœœ œœ ‰ œœœ Œ
nœ œ œ œ œ nœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
G7

? bb
Cm

b Nœ ‰ œj Œ ‰ jŒ œ ‰ j Œ ‰ j Œ œ
œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ

©2018
PIANO/VOCAL - Gretchen Audition -2- #4 - "MEET THE PLASTICS" [Rev. 11/30/18]

b
& b b œJ b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ. j Ó
11 12 13 14

J œ ˙ ˙
I worm your sec - rets out of you and bring them to my mas - ter.

b b b œœ b œœ ‰ œœj œœ œœ œœ ‰ œœj b œœ œ œ œ œ œœ j œœ n œj œ œœ ‰ n œj œœ
& œœ œœ œœ œœ n œœ œœ n œœ œœ œ œ œ
œ
b b

‰ œj œ
G m7 5 C7 9 Fm

? bb ‰ œj Œ ‰ œ ‰ œ œ
b œ œ œ.
œ œ. œ œ

b j 15Aj j j
& b b b œJ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ ‰ œj
œ œ œ œ œ œ œJ œ œ œ œ œ
15 16 17

J J J J J
Then I watch Re - gi - na make your life a big dis - as - ter. Re -

bb b b œœœ ‰ œœœj œœœ œœœ œ ‰ b œœœœ œœœœ œœœœ œœœœ n œœ ‰ b œœ ‰ œj ‰ œœj ‰ œj œœ œœ œœœœ
& œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ n œœ œœ œ n œœ œœ
J J
B bm7 E b7 A b7
j
A m7
j C7

? b b œœ œ œœ œœ b œœ ‰ j ‰ œ œ
G m7

‰ œ œ œ œ œ n œœ ‰ b
b œ nœ bœ bœ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ J

b
& b b nœ nœ
18 19

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
gi - na is the queen, but I'm the head of work - er bees, as I am
- œœ- .. - - -
b
& b b n œœœ ... œ
j
œœœ ... n œœœ œ. œœœœ œœœœ œœœœ
- # n œœ- - J J
B b maj7 A7 D m7 G s us 4

? bb œ . j j
b - n œ- œ- . j œ- œ- œ-
œ- œ- .

b
& b b nœ Œ
20 21

œ œ œ œ œ œ
nœ œ œ nœ œ œ œ
j
seat - ed at her right hand like a Jew - ish Prin - cess Je - sus.

b œœ .. œ œœœ ... j j
&b b œ. n œœ œœ œœ n n œœ ... œ Œ
œ œ œ n œœ
B b/F
j
F C s us 4 F

? bb j œ œ Œ
b œ. œ œ. œ
œ œ