the love i give (is yours to keep)

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/36746860.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Relationship: Kim Seokjin | Jin/Kim Taehyung | V
Character: Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Park Jimin (BTS), Min Yoongi |
Suga
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe -
Arranged Marriage, Slice of Life Elements, amicable arranged
marriages, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Domestic, Strangers to
Friends to Lovers, Alpha Kim Seokjin | Jin, Omega Kim Taehyung | V,
Sexual Content, seokjin is so romantic, taehyung is so caring, soft,
Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - 1920s
Collections: TaeJin Bingo 2022
Stats: Published: 2022-01-29 Words: 17276

the love i give (is yours to keep)

by mercypoem

Summary

Taehyung bows at his waist, his polite smile unwavering. Seokjin notes the lack of real
emotion behind his dark brown eyes, and he wonders if Taehyung has made a similar
observation about him. He likes to think he’s good at saving face. The doors to the hall
shut, the two now left alone, and Seokjin must put effort into not shifting anxiously.
Taehyung has a gaze so piercing it seems to linger even when it’s no longer on him.

“It’s an honor to meet you,” Seokjin says.

Taehyung raises his right hand, and Seokjin follows etiquette and brings the back of it to his
lips in a chaste kiss. He can feel Taehyung’s body heat even through the silk and lace of his
gloves.

“The honor is mine, Seokjin-ssi,” Taehyung replies, tone flat.

In a world where alphas are more rare than omegas, Seokjin knows from the time he
presents that his life is no longer his own. Taehyung happens to be the one destined to
marry him.

Notes
 for taejin bingo! squares “runaway groom” & “first date”, my interpretation of the first is
probably not what you're thinking.

i saw a tweet @ some point that mentioned an arranged *amicable* marriage trope, and my
brain totally ran away w the idea. this is also me trying my hand at the abo trope, which is
an amalgamation of stuff i have seen over the years. i’m not sure if it falls under traditional
abo dynamics but ? hope it’s enjoyable all the same.

ik the tropes present r deffo not for everyone, so pls proceed thoughtfully if it’s not ur thing.
<3

DISCLAIMERS:
— i've been to like half a wedding my entire life. It’s not very detailed for this reason, and
the wedding itself is not a focal point of the story anyway.
— The time period is also somewhat vague, but it’s meant to be set around the 1920s, when
electricity was becoming prevalent/common in homes, and when cars were emerging in
popularity. It’s not super important either. I just wanted to clarify for those that might care.
— the wardrobe i imagined for this story is based off 1920s korean fashion, but in this au
people can wear whatever regardless of gender. Clothes r clothes its no big deal. i also
included stuff that wasn't necessarily this, but you can imagine whatever you like.
— cars are a thing, and i tried to research what term to use here, but it was hard with the
differences in language/culture, time periods and all. its not meant to be accurate but i tried
my best
— If anything is confusing or needs clarification please lmk asap. ty >_<

⚠️ WARNINGS for: abo, arranged marriage, sexual themes/content (in the epilogue)

If u have anything more you’d like tagged for/warned let me know

See the end of the work for more notes

act i. self & memory

“perhaps it was the snow, or the food, or the impossibility of my life that made me hope to go to
bed and wake up with the past intact. i seemed to have run in a great circle and met myself at the
starting line.”

Their first meeting is as awkward as Seokjin imagines. This is a blessing if nothing else, because
awkwardness is the lesser of many evils.

Taehyung bows at his waist, his polite smile unwavering. Seokjin notes the lack of real emotion
behind his dark brown eyes, and he wonders if Taehyung has made a similar observation about
him. He likes to think he’s good at saving face. The doors to the hall shut, the two now left alone,
and Seokjin must put effort into not shifting anxiously. Taehyung has a gaze so piercing it seems to
linger even when it’s no longer on him.

“It’s an honor to meet you,” Seokjin says.

Taehyung raises his right hand, and Seokjin follows etiquette and brings the back of it to his lips in
a chaste kiss. He can feel Taehyung’s body heat even through the silk and lace of his gloves.

“The honor is mine, Seokjin-ssi,” Taehyung replies, tone flat. It’s the first time Seokjin has heard
Taehyung’s voice; he appreciates it’s deep quality.

They lap into silence shortly after. Seokjin isn’t sure what anyone would say in such a situation—a
first meeting before their wedding. Even if he’s known since the moment of his presentation, when
he’d realized an alpha role and knew his life was no longer his own, he’d tried his hardest to avoid
thinking of this very day. He can’t help but wonder what Taehyung might be thinking, if he’d done
the same in an attempt to cling to a semblance of normalcy and sanity, or if perhaps Taehyung had
been successful in mentally preparing himself where Seokjin hadn’t.

Seokjin swallows and resists the urge to apologize. He knows it would do him no favors, and it’s
not as though either of them had any say in this.

A clock on the wall ticks, loud in the silence between them.

“Taehyung-ssi,” Seokjin says, when the silence proves oppressive. Taehyung’s piercing gaze
disarms him completely, baring Seokjin without warning. “I hope we can find a balance, between
us,” he says tentatively. “I understand this is difficult. I don’t want to make it any more so.“

Taehyung’s sharp look softens for half a second. Seokjin’s anxiety rages on, uninhibited. He
wishes for nothing but amicability, and perhaps a willingness to work together. He can’t hope to do
so alone, praying that Taehyung may feel the same.

“Thank you,” Taehyung replies. His voice lacks inflection, but Seokjin believes he sees something
behind those guarded eyes. “I promise we’ll work together.”

“You are beautiful,” Jimin says. He states it as casual fact, and Taehyung knows that Jimin is
pretending that today is like any other. He’s smiling, but Taehyung sees the sorrow behind it,
lurking beneath the surface, waiting.

Taehyung turns away, Jimin’s sad eyes following him through the mirror. Taehyung avoids them,
along with the sight of himself. The robes and lace, the wedding attire, haunts his reflection.

Jimin wraps around him from behind, setting his chin on the crook between Taehyung’s shoulder
and neck. He is Taehyung’s comfort, and Taehyung wonders how long before he goes mad with
longing for him. “I’m going to miss you.”

Taehyung swallows around the lead weight in his throat, raising his eyes to meet Jimin’s through
the mirror. He forces himself to smile, even if it’s dismal. “I miss you already.”
 —

The day passes shrouded in a haze. Taehyung is relieved it leaves him without time to think any
more than he must, instinct driving him as he goes through the motions of what he’s told to. He
nearly cries when saying goodbye to Jimin, before his day properly begins, but continues on
mostly numb thereafter.

Only two weeks prior Taehyung had no idea any of this would happen, that his life would change
so completely. That life stretches behind him into a different reality, unattainable.

It’s not difficult to sit still for his portrait, mind in another place. Afterwards, final preparations for
the ceremony begin, and Seokjin already waits for him. The faces of the guests—his family—are
indistinguishable as Taehyung stares ahead. Mercifully the ceremony seems to pass swiftly, and it’s
not long after that the two of them are cutting the cake together. Taehyung finds Seokjin’s small
attempts at comforting him through the night ultimately unhelpful, but it doesn’t retract from his
appreciation of being thought of. He keeps a smile on his face as everyone wishes them well.

Their first dance is the moment Taehyung emerges from his fog, and the sudden moment of clarity
—of reality—has him nearly gasping for air, overwhelmed. He tries to hide his reaction under
another smile and regulated breathing, but Seokjin notices right away.

“Taehyung-ssi,” he says softly, loud enough for only the two of them to hear. Everyone is still
watching. “If you’d like to, we can leave after this. Or—we can run off for a while. Whatever you
would like.”

Taehyung blinks harshly, fixing his smile. “Can we leave? I need—I would like to leave.”

He wasn’t going to get another chance to see Jimin, even if they stayed until the very end of the
night, and Taehyung has had enough of pretending. He’d like to be alone.

“Of course,” Seokjin assures, hand against Taehyung’s waist. And as promised, as soon as their
first dance ends, they say their goodbyes.

The journey back to Seokjin’s territory is long, and it takes the entire night and into the afternoon
the next day before they arrive. Taehyung spends most of the journey asleep, Seokjin silent in the
seat beside him. He wakes with a crick in his neck, but feeling slightly better than he had. Seokjin
gives him a smile and offers him something to eat, which Taehyung cannot refuse. His nerves the
day before hadn’t allowed him to eat at all.

The journey gives Taehyung time to think, where he had refused to the day previous. Seokjin
seems kind enough, but Taehyung doesn’t know him. He thinks of Seokjin asking to work together
—be courteous with each other—but mere cordiality had been far from what Taehyung had
imagined for himself the day he married. He pushes the thought to the back of his mind, staring
out of the window.

“Did you sleep?” Taehyung asks Seokjin, who seems surprised he’s being spoken to.
“No,” Seokjin says. “I’m glad you were able to rest, though.”

Taehyung nods, even while he frowns. “Well—you should rest when we arrive,” He says. Seokjin
must have had an equally busy day yesterday, and he must be exhausted. Seokjin nods, but
Taehyung feels like he’s being placated more than anything.

He holds out the sweet bread he’s been eating, cracking half a smile when Seokjin only tilts his
head in response. “Eat something,” he says gently, happy when Seokjin allows him this, and eats.

Taehyung is surprised yet relieved when there isn’t a barrage of people to greet them at their
arrival. Only one person to help them with their bags, who is there and gone in a flash. The rest of
Taehyung’s belongings were being sent for separately, or had already arrived, leading up to the
wedding.

Seokjin is the one who shows Taehyung around what will be his new home. It’s surprisingly
practical, not extravagant or flashy, and when Taehyung asks about the rooms they skip, Seokjin
tells him they're empty for the time being, still without a purpose. There are gardens in the back,
and Taehyung is genuinely excited to see this, already picturing himself spending a good amount of
time out here. Seokjin tells him that there’s also a creak nearby, if Taehyung would like to venture
further out.

They eat a proper meal together after the tour, and Taehyung is surprised by how well Seokjin
manages to hide his exhaustion. It’s not until after all this, that the first truly awkward moment
between them transpires.

“And this is our bedroom,” Seokjin says. He awkwardly hovers by the door while Taehyung walks
in, looking around. A king sized bed, matching nightstands, a sliding glass door along the back of
the room all capture his attention. He sees his things have already been left here.

“I see.” Taehyung eyes the bed. He’d like to get some proper rest, and he’s sure Seokjin must too.
“Seokjin-ssi, about mating—”

Seokjin interrupts before Taehyung can get any further, his neck and ears flaming red. “Please do
not worry about a proper mating, or—anything. I know your territory saw it as something those in
love shared, and my territory shares similar beliefs. A political marriage like ours… no one expects
that of us.”

Taehyung nods. “Oh, right. Of course.” He feels ridiculous, bringing it up when the idea so clearly
unnerved Seokjin. Because it was only recently Taehyung had been made aware of their
arrangement, he’d spent most of his life imagining that he’d marry, and mate, with someone he
loved. When this reality had changed, Taehyung had for some reason imagined mating would still
be expected.

Seokjin fidgets and fixes his rumpled clothing, an action Taehyung is already observing as a
nervous habit. The two of them were still dressed in their wedding attire. Taehyung was still in
makeup, and even after sleeping in the auto car, his hair has maintained it's shape. The two of them
were a sight to see in the light of day, in their bedroom, now alone.

“Please make yourself comfortable,” Seokjin says. “I still have a few things to attend to, but if you
need anything I’ll be in my office down the hall. Uh—If you’re still tired, you can sleep some
more. The bathroom is just through there.”

Taehyung feels like arguing for a moment, to ask what Seokjin could possibly have to do that took
precedence over sleeping, but there was a lot he didn't know, that he may never know. That, paired
with the fact that Seokjin could possibly be trying to avoid having to share a bed with Taehyung
for as long as possible.

So he says thank you, and watches Seokjin leave. When he decides to sleep, still fairly tired, it’s
wondering what his new life here is going to look like.

“instead of it being a comfort to have a world so small and all mine, it feels like i’ve forgotten
something, like i’ve been forgotten.”

Taehyung’s new life is a solitary one. His first morning he wakes alone, though the rumpled sheets
on the other side of the bed suggest that Seokjin had come and gone, all before Taehyung had been
able to wake himself. It sets a precedence for the time to come.

He eats breakfast alone, explores the house further alone, ventures into the gardens alone. He
occasionally hears Seokjin in the house, along with the couple of servants that also reside here, but
it’s rare that he speaks to anyone. He tries his best to fill his days with something, anything
possible, lest he truly lose his mind.

He spends a lot of time reading outside, when the sun is out. Although it’s still the tail-end of
winter, the climate here is warmer than it had been at home, and he finds he’s able to endure the
temperature. He seeks out the creek that Seokjin mentioned, and finds it actually deep enough to
swim in, and he does so a couple of times over the next two weeks, though he can’t endure the
water for as long as he would like. He also writes to Jimin, though it’s only once every two weeks
that there are transfers from this territory back home.

He even takes to baking, since he has so little to do. He leaves pastries for Seokjin each time, and
each time the food is gone when Taehyung checks. Seokjin begins leaving him thank you notes on
the counter, and Taehyung starts baking more often, since it’s the only time they communicate, if it
even counts.

He feels like a caged bird, left as a pretty ornament and nothing more. He had so little time to
process everything and he still feels behind, like he blinked and swapped lives with the Taehyung
who is married yet unmated. Married yet unloved. Married yet lonely.

As he sits by the creek, feet in the water, he can’t find it in himself to begrudge his brother, even
though he’s the reason Taehyung is where he is. It was his brother who’d originally been destined
to marry the alpha from another territory, originally the one who’d known all along, from the time
that Seokjin had presented.

It’s rare enough that an alpha presents that none of them could have guessed he’d be tasked with
such a daunting fate. It wasn’t until Taehyung’s brother had refused mere weeks before the
ceremony that that fate had been handed to Taehyung. His brother, now gone, had left for his own
life, free from the expectations of everyone. Taehyung is happy he was able to. He doesn't blame
him for not wanting this, not when he finds himself missing his home more everyday, not when he
finds himself nearly miserable, regardless of how cordial Seokjin is with him.

He walks back to the gardens with a heavy heart. It had been foolish of him to hope for friendship,
a partnership. But if he couldn’t hope for that, what did he have to live for?

He sits in the grass, against one of the trees, and cries for himself. It’s the first time he has in the
several weeks he’s been here. He remains there as the sun sets and night creeps in, even as it grows
colder and he shivers against the breeze. He falls asleep, yearning for a million different things.

Taehyung wakes up the next morning in bed. He’s not surprised, until he remembers he’d fallen
asleep outside. When he gets up and sees himself still wearing his day clothes, he flushes with
embarrassment, sure that someone must have carried him inside. The servants finish before the sun
sets, which leaves Taehyung with Seokjin, though he’s reluctant to believe it was him. He’s never
come to bed while Taehyung was still awake, and has yet to wake up after Taehyung.

He gets ready for the day and ventures out, disappointed to find that Seokjin didn’t leave him a
note from the last muffin batch he’d left for him. He looks down the hall to Seokjin's office door,
and contemplates knocking, to say thanks for the night before, but his nerves win out and he slinks
back outside instead.

His art supplies had arrived a couple of days before, and he spends his morning painting. He’s
about to go inside and decide on lunch when Seokjin surprises him.

He’s come to the garden, casually dressed as he says hello. Taehyung wipes the surprise off his
face as best he can. “Seokjin-ssi.”

“Sorry for bothering you,” Seokjin says, running a hand through his hair, looking sheepish.
Taehyung shakes his head, happy to see him, to actually talk to another living being for the first
time in far too long.

“Don’t apologize,” Taehyung says quickly. “I’m happy to see you. In fact, I wanted to thank you,
for bringing me in last night.” He says the second part much more quietly.

“Oh, of course.” Seokjin smiles at him, and Taehyung returns it. “I was wondering if you would
have lunch with me today.”

Taehyung works hard to keep the pleased surprise off his features, but he nods and follows Seokjin
to the kitchen. He’s even more surprised when Seokjin ends up cooking for the two of them, and
happy when the food turns out delicious.

“You’re a great cook,” Taehyung tells him around a mouthful of food, and Seokjin huffs a little
laugh in return. “No, really. You’ve been hiding this from me.”

Seokjin’s expression goes blank at this, and Taehyung fears he’s said the wrong thing. Maybe
Seokjin is truly avoiding him. It causes that pit in his stomach to make itself known again, aching
with the need to be around those he knew. Most especially Jimin.
“I’ll cook for you, whenever, if you want.” Seokjin looks timid, but sincere, and Taehyung feels a
little better.

“It’s okay, I don't mean to impose,” Taehyung says, busying himself with the food. “I know you’re
busy.”

They finish eating in relative silence, and it’s the longest they’ve spent together since the wedding.
Taehyung feels himself growing depressed as they clean up, not wanting to go back to another
timeless stretch of being ignored or forgotten.

It’s why he feels eager as Seokjin stops him on his way out.

“Before you go… I actually wanted to ask you something,” Seokjin says, and Taehyung waits. “I
was wondering if maybe… if you wanted to join me today. I know it doesn’t sound exciting, and
it’s not, not really but—If you were curious about the politics that forced you here in the first
place…” Seokjin trails, and Taehyung stands straighter, feeling an excitement spark in him he
hasn't felt since he arrived here.

“I’d like that.” Taehyung says. “If it’s not too much to ask.”

Seokjin only shakes his head, but before he turns away to lead Taehyung into his office for the first
time, Taehyung sees the small grin tugging at his lips.

Taehyung learns a lot about Seokjin’s work. He learns how much reading there is, and unlike his
reading in the garden, it’s not enjoyable. It’s a headache and a half of sorting through a million
different files and documents, but Seokjin seems to maneuver the mountain of work with a
practiced ease. There’s also the matter of Yoongi, Seokjin advisor, who Taehyung hadn’t even
known existed until today.

Yoongi is another omega, and Taehyung is intimidated by his general no-nonsense demeanor.
Seokjin appears unphased.

Taehyung tries to keep up with everything Seokjin introduces him to, the differences in customs
here and those he knows at home, and it takes Taehyung a while before he realizes he should try
easing into it a bit more before diving head first.

There is one thing he’s happy about, and it’s the fact he’s spending time with Seokjin, even if it’s
through something impersonal. He doesn’t spend as much of his time immersed in it as Seokjin
seems to, still following the semi-routine he had set for himself.

He really does enjoy his time outdoors and his time baking, only now Seokjin can thank him
properly, instead of through written notes.

At the two week mark from the last transfer, Taehyung receives a letter from home. Jimin writes in
all over-eagerness and excitement, so Jimin it hurts to read, and Taehyung hardly realizes he’s
begun to cry until his tears go plopping down his face. He misses Jimin enough that he has to force
himself not to think about it at all, if he can help it.

His second letter back is infused with more truth, now that Taehyung has something to talk about.
And he must appear very focused on his letter, because Seokjin notices.

“Taehyung-ssi, what are you writing?”

Taehyung pauses, glances up briefly before looking back down to his letter. He feels flustered
suddenly, probably because it’s the closest to a personal conversation they’ve had.

“I’m writing to Jiminie. He’s my best friend.” Taehyung pauses. “My soulmate.”

“I see,” Seokjin says, and Taehyung might be able to detect guilt in his tone, though he doesn’t
want Seokjin to blame himself. He knows… they were both victims to the circumstances.

Taehyung finishes his letter silently, sitting at the other desk now in Seokjin’s office, and they
don’t speak of Jimin any more.

It’s another week of their tentative new dynamic before Taehyung gathers enough courage to ask
what he’s been desperately wondering.

Seokjin is a serving into the cake Taehyung made—perhaps with the intention of buttering him up
—before he dares to ask.

“Seokjin-ssi… I had a question,” Taehyung starts, giving furtive little glances in his direction,
which is the least collected behavior he could be displaying right now, but he can’t help it. “Are
you getting enough sleep?”

Seokjin seems confused, which doesn’t make sense, because it’s rare the times Taehyung finds
him unoccupied, let alone resting. Not that he’s worried… but maybe he’s a little worried. That’s
normal, to care whether or not your husband is getting enough sleep, the fact that they aren’t in
love is beside the point.

“Don’t worry about me,” Seokjin says after a moment. “I sleep enough to function.”

This sparks a flare of something in Taehyung that he’d probably have to guess is closer to instinct
than rational thought, given how suddenly it comes, and he lets out a slightly irritated sound.

“You’re never in bed,” Taehyung snaps. “At least not when I’m around.” He’s spoken without
thinking, that much is fairly clear, but once the words are out there he doesn’t think to feel
remorseful for having said them. So he’s annoyed that Seokjin avoids him, plenty of people would
be annoyed.

“Sometimes I sleep in here,” Seokjin says, now more stunned than confused.

Taehyung’s scent changes, though he hopes he’s able to keep it on the side of irritated rather than
hurt. Seokjin is undoubtedly a closed book, in more ways than one. He wears scent blockers in
their own home, something virtually unheard of, and Taehyung must wonder if Seokjin wants
Taehyung to do the same. Taehyung refuses to bring it up himself and ask, afraid of the answer.

“You shouldn’t,” Taehyung says, softer. “It’s—it’s not a good habit.” He bites his lip. He almost
suggests they simply furnish another room as a bedroom, if Seokjin truly hates spending any more
time with Taehyung than necessary. They certainly have the space, but.

But Taehyung doesn’t want to, and he thinks that suggesting it would be all it takes to have Seokjin
jump at the opportunity. He wonders if he’s being selfish, considering himself before Seokjin in
this regard, and then he wonders if they’re both being selfish, in different ways.

Seokjin looks at Taehyung for a loaded moment, before he mumbles something Taehyung doesn’t
catch, and offers to take their dishes to the kitchen. Taehyung pouts, going back to the book he’s
been trying to get through. Who knew customs could vary between territories so greatly.

It’s later that night, when Taehyung emerges from the bathroom ready to get into bed, that he feels
the ground shift beneath him.

“Seokjin,” Taehyung says to himself, but Seokjin hears his footsteps anyway, and turns his way.
He’s standing near the bed, already dressed for bed.

Seokjin scratches at the back of his neck, ears red and expression bordering on uncomfortable.
Taehyung swallows heavily, in disbelief of seeing him here for the first time,and before Taehyung
has fallen asleep.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Seokjin says, eyes darting to everything but Taehyung’s face. “If I…
here, tonight.”

“It’s your bed too,” Taehyung says quickly, and wills himself to move again so that he can walk
towards the bed. Seokjin is still standing beside it awkwardly, clearly unsure of himself.

Taehyung feels his instincts spur him forward a little, and he nestles into his spot with soft eyes on
Seokjin. “You’re more than welcome to sleep here, any time you want.”

Taehyung appreciates Seokjin’s consideration almost as much as he resents it. He imagines it

might be uncomfortable for Seokjin to “intrude” here, since it’s very possible Taehyung’s bed
would be considered his nest. His bed at home certainly was, but this—this bed, it feels cold more
nights than not. He’s not so attached to it.

Seokjin nods, and he gets in shortly after. The only light that remains in the room is the moonlight
that pours in from the glass doors, along with a single candle that is burning itself to nothing.

Here in bed, Taehyung can smell Seokjin’s unfiltered scent for perhaps the first time ever. He must
admit he didn’t think it would take so long before getting to. Seokjin’s scent hardly lingered on
their bed sheets, not that Taehyung dared to bother with them. He was objectively curious, but who
could blame him. Now that he has a chance to familiarize himself, he has to admit that it’s… nice.

Seokjin scent is that of the air on the precipice of a downpour, and Taehyung can appreciate it for
what it is. He pushes his face into his pillow a bit more and squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn’t
want to allow himself to linger on it too much, for reasons he also doesn’t want to think about.

He falls asleep in a strange sort of ease, Seokjin’s body heat radiating from the blankets.
 —

Taehyung finds himself sharing a new routine with Seokjin from that point on. Seokjin seems less
apprehensive of overstepping, as though Taehyung were going to bite him if he dared to get too
close, and Taehyung silently enjoys the company.

He likes sleeping in the same bed, and falling asleep knowing that Seokjin is there, that he is
sleeping at a decent hour, that they can have at least this. Taehyung is pleased to find Seokjin is
still there some mornings too, and in the soft light of day Taehyung allows himself to admire him.
It’s the only time he does so, actually, but it’s enough to satiate the strange itch that wants to.

In another life, if Taehyung were able to meet him under different circumstances, he thinks he’d
harbor a crush on Seokjin. He’s handsome, which is something he had to admit to himself even
upon their first meeting. But beyond that, Seokjin has a softer side to him that Taehyung is only
now able to pick up on.

He doesn’t seem to take care of himself the way he should, and that frustrates Taehyung, but there
may be a secret part of him that hopes to help with that.

Taehyung wakes and almost immediately feels his mind racing forward without him. His heart
leaps when he remembers what day it is, and he scrambles to sit up, which causes enough
commotion to rouse Seokjin, still sleeping beside him. Taehyung mutters out an apology before he
jumps out of bed, skin breaking out in goosebumps when it encounters the cooler morning air.

He shivers near violently in search of his coat and shoes, and only manages to find his pair of
house slippers before his impatience wins out and he gives up on covering himself. He catches a
glance of Seokjin sitting in bed, hair mused and eyes puffy, his brows furrowed in confusion,
before Taehyung races out of the room.

One of the house attendants spot him, and already has what Taehyung had been so eagerly
anticipating, their hands clutching a carefully addressed envelope.

“Ah! Thank you,” Taehyung says happily, snatching it with a final leap forward. He holds the
envelope close to his chest, happy to be able to hear from Jimin again.

After the initial excitement ebbs he finds himself slightly bashful for having run out of bed so
thoughtlessly and without bothering to dress himself. He looks down at his state of undress, and
jumps in surprise when he feels something being draped over his shoulders from behind.

The material is heavier than the clothing Taehyung typically wore, and he clutches at the shoulder
before turning around to investigate.

Seokjin stands closely behind, evidently recently roused from sleep. His mouth is poutier than
usual, hair messy, and radiating warmth. Taehyung looks down at his chest and realizes he hadn’t
dressed either, and had just given his coat to cover Taehyung.

“Seokjin-ssi,” Taehyung stutters. “You shouldn’t be out of bed without getting dressed—it’s cold.”
Seokjin only slants his eyebrow at him, and Taehyung feels a blush crawl up his neck, clutching at
his coat tighter. “I was going to go right back… I was excited to hear from Jiminie, is all. You
should go back to bed.”

Seokjin shakes his head a little, exasperated but smiling. “I’m up now. I won’t be able to sleep
anymore. Maybe you shouldn’t race out of bed so hurried next time, you’ll get sick.”

Taehyung averts his gaze, and catches sight of the house attendants pretending not to eavesdrop on
them near the kitchen. He looks back to Seokjin and takes in his state of dress again. His shoulders
are endlessly wide in his sleep shirt, his arms exposed and skin raised from the cold. His eyes trail
even further down and catches sight of Seokjin’s pajama pants, and how they sit on his hips.

He’s only ever seen Seokjin dressed for sleep in glimpses in the dark. He feels something ugly rear
its head at having their servants see Seokjin this way in the light of day, for the first time Taehyung
is.

He tamps it down, and grabs Seokjin's upper arm, who looks down at the point of contact in
surprise. “We’ll both get sick at this rate. Let’s get dressed.” He drags Seokjin, who graciously
allows him to, back to the bedroom.

Taehyung stands there for a moment after they arrive, before huffing. “Just—clothes,” he says with
a bit of an attitude. Seokjin laughs a little in return.

Taehyung spends his day outside, embarrassed for himself in the morning. He reads Jimin’s letter
to himself twelve times, top to bottom and front to back of each page, and begins contemplating
what he’s going to write in return.

He has his lunch brought to him in the gardens, and he doesn’t think to visit Seokjin until after
nightfall. When he knocks on the open door, Seokjin looks up from his desk in a stupor. Taehyung
frowns, head tilting at him.

“Did you take any breaks today?” Taehyung asks. Seokjin’s eyes shift dodgidly. “Did you even
eat?”

“I had breakfast.” Seokjin clears his throat. Pen tapping at his desk.

“A banana doesn’t count,” Taehyung argues, before sighing a little. He should have come by
earlier, and now it’s growing late and Seokjin is still here, working himself ragged.

Taehyung walks across the distance between them, and Seokjin eyes him wearily. “Calm down,”
Taehyung says softly. “I’m not here to fight. We should eat dinner together.”

Seokjin looks back down at his desk, the look on his face resembling resistance.

“Please?” Taehyung tries, though it’s half hearted. He doubts Seokjin is just going to give in to his
demands.

“Okay,” Seokjin says. Taehyung blinks in surprise.

“Oh… good. Let’s go.”

Taehyung suggests they take their dinner outside. They carry out some candles and their food, and
Seokjin looks around into the night like he’s seeing it for the first time. It’s early spring now, and
the air grows warmer.

“You spend too much time indoors,” Taehyung says in amusement, after they start eating.

“You’re not wrong,” Seokjin says.

“Maybe you should consider taking a day off every once in a while,” Taehyung says
absentmindedly.

“Maybe I should.”

Seokjin’s response is unexpected, and Taehyung looks up at him to find he’s already being
watched. Seokjin’s features flicker in the candle light, and Taehyung holds his gaze until Seokjin
looks away.

“I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, I fear,” Seokjin continues.

“That’s okay,” Taehyung says, a spark of hope lighting in his chest. “We could do something
together. If you don’t mind too much. That creek you told me about is deep enough to go
swimming in, and there are paths around that are nice to walk on. I like to paint out here in the
afternoons too, the light is nice…” Taehyung trails, fearing that he’s begun to ramble. “We don’t
have to, of course.” He shoves another bite of food into his mouth.

“I’ve seen you painting,” Seokjin says. “I wouldn’t want to impose in your spaces, though.”

Taehyung frowns, rushing his chewing and swallowing so that he can argue with Seokjin faster.
“Stop assuming you’re imposing. This is your space as much as it is mine. You treat it as though
it’s as foreign to you as it is to me.”

Seokjin gives him a look. “This house was built for me, after it was decided I was to be married
off. It’s new to me too.” He looks out into the greenery, shrouded in shadows but a comforting
sight to Taehyung all the same. “I guess I haven’t taken much time to appreciate it.”

“Oh…” Taehyung bites his lip. “I promised to work with you. Work with me too, Seokjin-ssi.”

Seokjin stares back at him. “I’ll do my best. I'm sorry I’m not very good at it yet.”

“You’re doing well enough,” Taehyung replies, tone teasing.

Seokjin smiles. “Also, Taehyung, maybe… we don’t need to refer to each other formally. You’re
welcome to call me hyung.”

Taehyung clutches at his glass, taking a sip hurriedly. He thinks his scent probably gives him away
anyway. “Oh. Okay.”

“I’ll let you know about taking a day off,” Seokjin says more seriously, timidly. “If that’s
something you want.”

Taehyung only nods at him, the night air feeling ripe with something unnamed.

“You want to head a project division?” Yoongi asks, surprised. It took a lot to approach him in the
first place, because Taehyung was still largely intimidated by… his general self.

He nods. “I’ve been researching, and helping Seokjin-hyung. I haven’t mentioned this to him, but
I’d really like to have a bigger role in it.”

Yoongi’s eyebrows are high on his face. “You can have whatever role you’d like, if that’s what
you wish. I doubt Seokjin would protest it either. Regardless, you can have influence or say in the
running of things without an official title. It might be more trouble than it’s worth, and I only say so
because I’ve been doing this for a long time.”

“I know,” Taehyung says timidly. “But I don’t have much to do, and… I actually know what I
want to oversee, if it’s possible.”

Yoongi gestures for him to continue, and Taehyung pulls the documents he’d taken from Seokjin’s
office from his bag. He’d had to leave their house to visit Yoongi’s office.

“Food scarcity…” Yoongi states, looking it over. “It’s a near impossible division to ever truly
work out. There will always be those who go without.”

“I want it.” Taehyung remains adamant.

Yoongi only smiles a little, and it’s the first time Taehyung has been on the receiving end of such a
look. It makes his initial feeling of intimation lessen. Yoongi helps him with a proposal, and
Taehyung heads on his way.

When Taehyung returns, it’s to an empty house. Seokjin is unexpectedly not in his office, and
Taehyung only waits for a few minutes before he wanders outside, slightly startled to see him in
the gardens, standing directly in front of his easel.

Taehyung approaches him, feeling self-conscious at having Seokjin look at his work.

“Seokjin-hyung,” Taehyung says. Seokjin jumps.

“Taehyung-ah,” Seokjin stutters, turning around red-faced and wide eyed. Taehyung laughs a little,
shaking his head.

“I’m not mad if you wanted to look at my art,” Taehyung says. “What are you doing out here?”

Seokjin messes with his hair a moment, pausing to think over his response. “Nothing. I came
looking for you, and I realized you weren’t home.”

“You were looking for me?” Taehyung asks, perhaps a little too happily. “Uh, I went to see
Yoongi-ssi.”

Seokjin looks curious, to say the least, but he still doesn’t ask Taehyung what he might have been
doing. Taehyung smiles at him for a moment before going to stand beside him, looking over his
latest painting.

“It’s missing something,” Taehyung says. “It feels… lacking.”

Seokjin lingers on his profile another moment before turning back to the painting. “I don’t know
much about art. But it looks beautiful to me.”

Taehyung glances at him from the corner of his eye. “Thank you.”

“Really,” Seokjin continues. “You make things look… romantic. Comforting.”

Taehyung is getting increasingly more flustered, and he gives the painting one last look before
moving away, wrapping his arms around himself. “It’s nothing special. Why were you looking for
me?”

“Hm? Oh. No reason.”

Taehyung has a feeling Seokjin is lying, but he has no real way of knowing apart from his body
language… and a hunch—though, it was audacious to think he knew Seokjin enough to make such
a judgment.

“Really?” Taehyung asks, rocking back on his heels. “You just wanted to come and say hello to
me, then?”

Seokjin looks flustered about Taehyung drawing that conclusion, but he only averts his gaze and
keeps his mouth shut.

“We eat together more often than not, these days,” Taehyung says, still lighthearted. “You don’t
have to look so embarrassed about it.”

Seokjin sighs. “That’s not it.”

This peaks Taehyung’s interest anew, and he raises his eyebrow. “Oh? What is it?”

“I was going to ask if you wanted to spend the day together, sometime this week.” Seokjin looks
out past the garden towards the creek. Taehyung can still see the way his ears are burning under
the tips of his hair, slightly longer than it was, moved by the breeze. “I’m not sure what day works
best… so I’m asking for your input.”

Taehyung can’t help the way his smile reaches across his face, a small burst of laughter breaking
from him. “Any day, hyung.”

Seokjin nods, turning around. “Let’s eat lunch.” He starts walking without waiting for Taehyung,
who trails after him still smiling, and slightly endeared.

—
Taehyung introduces Seokjin to his proposition regarding leading a project division only two days
later. Yoongi agreed to help him prepare in the meantime, and although he’s certain Seokjin will
react graciously, regardless of what he says, Taehyung is nervous.

Does Seokjin think Taehyung capable? Or does he see Taehyung as… ornamental. Despite their
initial inadvertent ignoring one-another, Seokjin has never given Taehyung that impression, and
now that they are spending more time together, he most certainly doesn’t give off that impression.

If anything he’s careful as ever, and Taehyung finds it hard to feel ornamental when Seokjin has
never looked his way in any romantic or sexual sense. He wonders if the thought has ever so much
as crossed Seokjin’s mind. If his behavior is anything to go by, not likely.

He doesn’t feel a burden, however. It’s what gives him the strength to approach Seokjin freely.
Taehyung slides the document across Seokjin’s desk, willing himself to remain confident as he can,
willing his voice not to waver.

“Is this what you were meeting with Yoongi about?” Seokjin asks. Unlike Yoongi, he doesn’t
sound as surprised.

“Yes,” Taehyung says. “He helped me with the proposal. And… he started talking to me about
what it would actually entail. He certainly didn’t sugarcoat anything.”

Seokjin looks up at Taehyung, who is standing at his side where he is sitting. “I doubt Yoongi
would,” Seokjin says, amused. Taehyung glances down and then away.

“This is great, Taehyung-ah. Were you looking for advice? I’ll do my best, but most of my work is
centered around infrastructure development.” Seokjin flips through the pages, focused.

Taehyung blinks. “Um, yes. I’d like your advice, but I guess I was looking for… allowance to
proceed. You are responsible for the heading of—of everything.”

Seokjin pushes back from his desk a little, mouth half slanted. “You don’t need my allowance,
Taehyung. You’re free to have as much of a role in this as I do. You could throw me from my
position entirely, if you so wished. You could throw me from our home and into the streets, and I
would not stop you.”

Taehyung’s heart is suddenly racing, and he stares at Seokjin wide-eyed. “Don’t—Don’t say such
things. What if someone hears you—“

Seokjin huffs. “What will they do? There is no one I must answer to… nor you. Not even to me.”

Taehyung covers his mouth when he begins to laugh, unable to stop it. Seokjin is so unapologetic,
in a few ways.

“You will get us in trouble. Somehow. I’m not yet accustomed to not answering to someone.”
Taehyung says the second part less amused, suddenly sullen when he thinks about the fact that
having to answer to someone caused his life to take the path that it did.

“You’ll have time to grow used to it,” Seokjin says softly. “But as I said, you don’t need my
permission. Do as you wish. I will support you in any way you need.”

Taehyung’s stomach feels weird, and his heart is still pumping too fast considering the
circumstances. He doesn’t understand it. “Thank you,” he says. Seokjin returns his smile.
 —

The morning of the day they spend together, Seokjin and Taehyung go through their entire routines
with each other for the first time. They get dressed—Taehyung opting for something that he can
move in freely, over his swimwear—eat breakfast, and pack food for later, so that they won’t need
to return to the house. Taehyung packs them both hats, and a blanket to sit on, and an extra blanket,
because it can grow cold in the shade, while Seokjin packs the pastries Taehyung had made for
them the day before. Seokjin made their lunch.

Taehyung is bouncing with excitement, arms full of everything they need to carry. Seokjin laughs
at him and takes the bulk of it, despite Taehyung’s protests. Taehyung leads the way, taking the
long way around, since the day is nice and because he can. Seokjin doesn’t complain, and when
they arrive, Taehyung busies himself with setting everything up to his liking.

He sets the blanket out and sets aside the food. The extra blanket works well as a pillow, he thinks,
and only realizes what he’s doing when he feels Seokjin gazing at him from a few steps away. He’s
not nesting, really, but his instincts had gotten the better of him for a moment. He stands quickly,
overcome with sudden self consciousness.

“Ahem. Anyway,” Taehyung says while brushing away imaginary dirt on his clothes.

Seokjin comes over and sits down, and Taehyung digs out the hat he had brought for him.

“You’re not used to so much sunlight, staying locked up all the time.” Taehyung looks down at
him, handing the hat over. Seokjin shrugs and puts it on.

Taehyung resists his urge to fix it for only a moment. “Hyung,” He says exasperatedly. He sits on
his knees and pulls the hat back off, pushing Seokjin’s hair away from his eyes and behind his
ears, setting it back atop his head. Seokjin sucks in a breath when Taehyung brushes over his ears,
fingers skimming the skin of his neck for half a second when he pulls away.

Taehyung feels his fingertips burning. He’s never dared to get touchy with Seokjin before, but
before he can start panicking, Seokjin is pulling out Taehyung’s hat and arranging it on his head
too.

“You certainly get more sunlight than I do, but, you should be careful too.”

Taehyung has to pretend something very interesting is happening across the water for the next ten
minutes to avoid Seokjin eyes, but he’s still grinning.

Taehyung doesn’t attempt to swim until at least the afternoon, when the sun has warmed the day a
bit more.

He sheds his outer layer, jumping into the water a few seconds later. The water is still cool enough
to shock him momentarily, and he yells when he emerges. Seokjin is standing by the bank in alarm,
looking as though he’s ready to jump in after Taehyung to save him.

Taehyung laughs, teeth clattering. “I’m okay! The water is cold.”

Seokjin nods, but doesn’t look that tempered. Taehyung splashes a little water at him. “You should
join me. It’s fun.”

Seokjin hesitates for a moment, but nods, and after he peels off his own clothing, stands at the bank
again.

“You must jump in,” Taehyung says. “Or it’s even worse.”

Seokjin stands straight, backing up so that he can take a running start in, and jumps in a few feet
away from Taehyung. The water splashes outward, and Taehyung covers his face with a forearm,
giggling.

Seokjin emerges looking like he’s deeply regretful, and Taehyung swims a bit closer.

“Move around, you’re losing body heat!” He says, splashing more water.

Seokjin splashes him back, looking pouty. “This is very cold.” He’s shivering.

Taehyung frowns. “If it’s too much, you can dry off and use the other blanket. It takes getting used
to.”

Seokjin’s putout look morphs into something more mischievous, and before Taehyung can parse
what it means, Seokjin dunks back under water. Taehyung can see down to the creek bed, so he
sees Seokjin move towards him under the water, but doesn’t think to move away until Seokjin has
him by the ankle, dragging him under.

Taehyung flails and shouts, and when he re-emerges, he’s sputtering out water. “Traitor!” He
exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at Seokjin, who is laughing so hard he’s squeaking. It
makes Taehyung laugh, because it’s ridiculous.

They splash at each other for the next half an hour, before they move further up stream to a higher
point of ground they can jump off into the water. By the time they tire themselves, Taehyung is
cold to his bones and hungry.

They dry off and move their blanket into the sun. Taehyung wraps himself in the blanket while
Seokjin sets up to eat. His back is facing Taehyung, and Taehyung stares somewhat pointedly at
the expanse of his shoulders and back. He’s built nicely.

They eat in comfortable silence, occasionally pointing out the different birds that sit in the branches
that hang over the water. When Taehyung throws them some crumbs of the bread he’d made, the
birds hop closer and closer, until the two of them are throwing food to see what the birds will eat.
(Mostly everything.)

He doesn’t realize Seokjin is cold until he steals another glance and sees his skin is raised in
goosebumps. He rushes to take the blanket off his shoulders and lay it over Seokjin’s, who turns to
investigate.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung says. “I should have realized you’d be cold too.”

Seokjin shakes his head, already moving to take it off and hand it back, but Taehyung stops him.
“I’m fine,” he says. “I stole it long enough.”
Seokjin pauses, biting his lip before he speaks. “We can share it then. I don’t want to leave you
cold.”

Taehyung stares at him, and Seokjin grows flustered and looks away. He seems unnerved by
Taehyung’s stare, for lack of a better word, at times.

He moves to Seokjin’s side, who drapes the blanket over his shoulder. They are pressed side to
side, staring out at the water.

Long after they run out of food, but before the sun sets and they lose all light, they make their way
back to the house. If Taehyung was excited on his way out here, he’s the opposite on their way
back. He doesn’t want their day to end, and he’s afraid it may be a long time before they get to do
something like this again.

Seokjin doesn’t say much, as usual, and Taehyung doesn’t feel too chatty.

When they arrive, they eat dinner. They get ready for bed almost immediately after that, both
physically tired from running around and swimming. Being in the sun always made Taehyung
weary as well. In bed, his eyes are lead weights, and he knows he’ll be asleep in no time.

He jumps when Seokjin speaks into the quiet. “Taehyung-ah.”

“Yes, hyung?” Taehyung’s voice is nothing but a whisper, and he burrows deeper into the blanket,
still running cool from earlier.

“Did you enjoy today?”

“Of course,” Taehyung says easily. “I like spending time with you.” It’s too honest, but in the
cover of the night and their exhaustion, it doesn’t feel forbidden to admit.

“Let us do it again,” Seokjin murmurs. Taehyung feels him shift beside him. He blinks his heavy
eyes open and glances towards him.

“You want to?” Taehyung asks, voice small.

“Yes. I enjoy spending time with you too.”

The following morning, before Taehyung even opens his eyes, he thinks it must have rained.

He shifts a little, still half asleep, wondering if Seokjin opened the glass door before he left, but he
finds it difficult to move. The smell of a rainy day… he thinks again, before he wakes further,
opens his eyes, and realizes sunlight is flooding the room. Not a cloud in the sky.

He looks down, and has a moment of realization.

It smells like it’s going to rain because he is surrounded by Seokjin’s scent. He is surrounded by
Seokjin’s scent because they are lying chest to back, Seokjin’s arm wrapped around Taehyung’s
middle, their legs intertwined beneath the blankets.

His eyes fly wide open, and he’s suddenly scared to move. He forces himself to calm down after a
moment, breathing deeply. If he panics his scent will reflect that, and Seokjin could wake. He
takes a couple of minutes of deliberation before sighing, squeezing his eyes back shut, and trying to
get up. Seokjin finding out is inevitable anyway, he’ll reek of Taehyung’s scent all the same, and
he’ll probably wonder.

So when Seokjin blinks his eyes open and sees Taehyung sitting next to him, arm still around
Taehyung’s middle, Taehyung only waits with bated breath for his reaction.

Seokjin’s arm retracts lighting fast, and he’s flinging the blankets off them both and standing at the
other end of the bed in record time.

“Good morning,” Taehyung mutters. He thuds backwards and back into bed a second later. It’s too
early for him. On the rare occasions he wakes before Seokjin, he always falls back asleep.

Seokjin is staring down at his own hands like they acted without his consent, eyes wide. Taehyung
sighs, rolling onto his side. “And goodnight.”

When he wakes back up, later in the morning, Taehyung wonders if he dreamed the entire thing.
When he catches his own scent drowning in Seokjin’s, he guesses that it was not.

He gets ready, and wonders if avoiding Seokjin is warranted. Taehyung decides he doesn’t feel
like going through all the trouble, and walks into Seokjin’s office with his head high. Seokjin
doesn’t act as though anything is amiss, and Taehyung decides he made the right decision, playing
it off.

“Hyung,” Taehyung says casually. “I was wondering if it might be a good idea to furnish a room as
another office.” It’s begun to get crowded in here between the two of them, and occasionally
Yoongi.

“Anything you like,” Seokjin says, head still buried in his work. Taehyung frowns at him.

He gets up from his own desk and moves closer, stopping stock still when he realizes that Seokjin
isn’t wearing blockers today. He smells like the two of them. They both do. Something warms in
his stomach, before he remembers what he was doing in the first place.

“Hyung,” he says again, more forcefully. Seokjin doesn’t look at him, but hums in
acknowledgment. He doesn’t understand why it’s bothering him so much. Seokjin tends to get
wrapped up in his work often, and after taking a day off yesterday, he must feel behind. Taehyung
still feels bothered by the lack of attention.

“Never mind.” Taehyung turns around and heads for the kitchen. He has another idea.
 —

He returns an hour later with lunch. Seokjin hasn’t moved an inch, writing away. Taehyung sets
the plate down on the desk somewhat loudly, and directly in Seokjin’s way.

“Eat, now.”

He hears someone snort, and turns around to see Yoongi. “Yoongi-ssi.” He bows. “I didn’t realize
you were here today.”

“I was already on my way out.” He looks at Seokjin, who is staring at the food absentmindedly. “I
am surprised he allows you to disrupt him like that.”

Taehyung hums. “He doesn’t know how to pace himself.”

Yoongi smiles in a way that makes Taehyung feel weirdly seen, before leaving. Taehyung takes a
moment before turning back to Seokjin, who still isn’t eating.

“I have work to do, Taehyung.”

“You are also a living being with biological needs,” Taehyung says, rolling his eyes. He isn’t sure
when Seokjin stopped being intimidating, but he finds it hard to believe Seokjin truly frightening.
He doesn’t see Seokjin so much as raising his voice at him.

“I’m not leaving until you eat,” Taehyung says. Seokjin acquiesces.

Seokjin pouts when he chews, Taehyung notices, and has a very inappropriate urge to coo at him.
He keeps his promise of not leaving until he’s eaten it all.

The days continue on, and Taehyung finds more reason to not only tolerate life as it is, but perhaps
even enjoy it. There are things to enjoy, plenty of them.

Seokjin and him have grown closer, and after that morning they find themselves entangled, it
happens again. It doesn’t happen frequently, but it happens all the same. They don’t ever talk about
it, and when Seokjin stops wearing scent blockers altogether, Taehyung has to tell himself it’s a
weird thing to be excited about.

Seokjin goes from taking one day a week to himself, to two days a week. They do things they want
to, together. They revisit the creek, but they also take to walking in the summer evenings, when the
days grow longer and the air grows warmer still. They visit the markets, and Taehyung convinces
Seokjin to buy unnecessary trinkets that they put up around the house.

Taehyung decides to try and unpack the entire room of unopened gifts from their wedding. He
barely makes a dent in it, even days in. He finds their single portraits, as well as the one they had
posed for together. He stares at himself, the Taehyung frozen in paint and resin, decorated in the
finest robes and jewelry.

Something about it, his own blank expression, the stiffness Taehyung sees in Seokjin’s pose that he
had not been able to identify the night they married—it’s mesmerizing, in a twisted sort of way. He
drags the painting out of the room by himself, and has one of the servants help him hang it in the
front room. He doesn’t want to forget what he has sacrificed.

intermission

“let me put this plainly: love is no more than a line of stitches, a seam, yes, which is no protection.
so don’t beg to be shielded.”

Seokjin spends his first week married to Taehyung more anxiety ridden than he has his entire life.
He’s never been an uncertain sort of person. Living with Taehyung changes this.

He’s always been prone to overworking himself, if not to make up for his shortcomings then to
occupy himself with a purpose. He cannot have perfection, but he has dedication to the concept of
improvement, and that’s something.

How does he navigate this? A new life in a home that is no home, with another person he doesn’t
know and who Seokjin fears will grow to hate him, if he doesn’t already. Seokjin continues to tell
himself that neither of them had a say, that what has happened was a destiny laid at their feet, but
he can’t rid himself of the responsibility, nor the guilt.

Had he not been born an alpha maybe.

He does the only thing that seems to make much logical sense, which is to give Taehyung space.
He wears scent blockers, lays down to sleep only after Taehyung has been asleep for some time,
and wakes as early as he can drag himself from bed. He hopes that with time, Taehyung won’t feel
tied to him, even if they are tied to one another.

Taehyung is gracious, kind, surprising, and these are factors Seokjin doesn’t initially consider. He
leaves Seokjin food, and Seokjin leaves him notes in return. He watches Taehyung read when he
passes the back doors on his way to the kitchen, and watches Taehyung paint under the same
pretense, later on.

Taehyung reels him in with his dangerous eyes and insistence of having things be done his way,
(the proper way). He cares for Seokjin in a way Seokjin is unprepared for. He’s beautiful when it’s
expected and when it’s not. Seokjin finds it hard to want to live a life shrouded in barriers.

It’s not until the night Seokjin returns to their bedroom and finds it empty, that he realizes what an
error he has made in keeping a cruel distance between them—a distance he had thought necessary.
In the empty bedroom, he panics, wondering if Taehyung has run, or worse, if he’d simply gone
out and had cause not to return. If something had happened to him—but before Seokjin allows
himself to submerge into the feelings of distress, he checks the gardens.

He knows Taehyung likes to spend time out here, and it’s possible he’d gotten caught up in his
painting, in a book, but it’s nothing but theories designed to soothe. Miraculously, Seokjin is not
right about why, but Taehyung is indeed in the garden.
Propped against a tree, Taehyung sits with his body slumped to the side, and Seokjin rushes
forward to reach for him. Taehyung is freezing to the touch, the night cold from late winter wind,
and he picks him up in one fluid motion to carry him back indoors. He has no idea how Taehyung
managed to sleep so long and not wake, in a coat too thin for the temperature and skin red from the
cold.

Carrying him back indoors and through the light of the house, Seokjin catches sight of the dried
tear stains on Taehyung’s face, the way his eyelids are still swollen and red, even in sleep. A spasm
of guilt strikes him, and he has to swallow around the enormity of it as he lays Taehyung into bed.
He covers him into the blankets, watching over for another moment to make sure Taehyung will be
alright.

It’s a miracle Taehyung didn't get sick after that night, but it hadn’t been until then that Seokjin
realized what a terrible approach to the situation he’d taken. Drowning in guilt and his own
loneliness, he hadn’t stopped to consider Taehyung’s. He vows to correct his mistakes, and when
the two of them begin spending their days together, he is only regretful of not having done so
sooner.

Seeing Taehyung’s happiness is more than Seokjin could have hoped for. Sitting with him one
afternoon, a true summer’s day, Seokjin finds the strength to say what he’d be needing to.

“Taehyung-ah.”

Taehyung sighs, evidently frustrated from his current project. “Yes hyung?” He turns to look over
his shoulder, and Seokjin smiles when he sees the streak of blue on his cheek.

“I’m sorry for how I behaved towards you in the beginning. I shouldn’t have allowed my emotions
to cause me to neglect you the way I did.” Seokjin’s smile sours, and he tilts his face up at the
endless blue of the heavens. “I hope you can forgive me.”

Taehyung sets his pallet and brush down, moving to sit beside him. Seokjin turns towards him,
expression earnest.

“I forgive you. I already forgave you, but thank you for the apology.” Taehyung stares at him the
way he often does, and equally as often, Seokjin feels like his gaze will devour him whole if he’s
not careful.

“Thank you,” Seokjin says softly. He reaches up to wipe at the paint still on Taehyung’s cheek, but
it only smears further and dries like that. “I’m making it worse,” he says, even though Taehyung
can’t see what he’s done.

Taehyung laughs a small bit, eyes shutting against the swell of his cheeks. “I need more rubbing
alcohol, hyung. It’s the only thing that gets rid of the paint. Come with me to the shops and buy
some more, won’t you?”

Seokjin nods. “It’s not bad for your skin?” He asks, worried.

“It might not be good for it, but we must all suffer for our passions.” Taehyung takes his hand,
hauling the both up from the grassy earth. “Let’s go.”

—
“Taehyung-ah,” Seokjin calls from their bedroom, finishing getting dressed.

He hears a muffled shout from what is probably kitchen, and makes his way across the house in
search of Taehyung, who is covered in flour instead of paint today, hair pushed back with a band
trimmed with beads. It looks wonderful on him, and Seokjin leans against the counter as he takes in
his state. Taehyung looks a little frazzled, perhaps from trying to bake too many items at once.

“Are you going out?” Taehyung asks, sounding on the edge of disappointment.

“Yes. I’ll be back in time for lunch.”

“So long?” Taehyung asks, and he definitely sounds disapproving this time, though Seokjin doesn’t
know why. They go out without each other often enough, but when thinking about it more closely,
Seokjin realizes it has been a while since they’ve ventured out alone.

“Uh,” Seokjin falters. He needs to correct the situation, can’t bear seeing the disappointment on
Taehyung’s face. “I may be back sooner.”

“Why didn’t you invite me, hyung?” Taehyung says forlornly, mixing his batter in a way that could
only be described as sad .

“I’m sorry,” Seokjin rushes to say, stepping forward. “I—I promise to ask you next time. I didn’t
know you’d want to go.” He wants to invite Taehyung right now, and wants to explain why he
didn’t to begin with, but he can’t. He’s been planning this for too long to ruin the surprise at the
last moment.

Taehyung stops stirring, looking up, though he doesn’t look genuinely too upset. “Don’t forget me
next time.”

Seokjin smiles. “I won’t. I’ll hurry, I promise.”

Taehyung sends him off with a little wave of his hand. Seokjin rushes out of the front door.

Upon returning, it’s still late morning. Things go well, and Seokjin’s able to make it back sooner
than he’d thought. Taehyung is lying on the floor of the front room, an open book sitting atop his
face. He jumps up when he hears Seokjin, book falling to his lap.

“Hyung, you’re back—“ Taehyung’s sentence cuts off at the other set of footsteps, and he goes
utterly still when seeing who they belong to.

Jimin stands waiting for him with a smile so blinding Seokjin doubts he can even see Taehyung.

“Jimin-ah?” Taehyung says, and he sounds in disbelief. Seokjin watches him stand from the floor,
eyes wide as saucers. It’s a moment later the two of them are running at each other, and despite
Taehyung being taller, Jimin grabs for him and spins him with ease.

Seokjin has yet to see Taehyung this happy, so genuinely elated and consumed with joy. He already
longs to see it again.

—
act ii. light & shadows

“listen to me—i am your echo. i would rather break the world than lose you.”

Taehyung thinks he must be dreaming. The feeling does not fade for the rest of the afternoon or
into the night, and he’s so tied up in his excitement that he doesn’t begin to wonder about logistics
of how this came to be, or how they will accommodate Jimin until it’s nearing time to go to sleep.

“Oh!” Taehyung sits up suddenly, and Jimin goes tumbling off him and to the ground with a
thump. “Where will you sleep? Hyung and I have only one bedroom. We need to prepare—“

Jimin hushes him with a hand over his, giving Taehyung his softest look. “Seokjin-ssi already
prepared a room for me. Rather for us, I should say. Don’t worry.”

Taehyung tilts his head at Jimin. “He did? How did he manage to do all of this without my
knowledge… he’s so secretive and evasive when he wants to be.”

Jimin only smiles.

There is indeed a fully furnished bedroom, in what was one of the empty rooms, waiting for them.
Taehyung wonders for how long it’s been ready, and for how long Seokjin had planned this.

They stay up most of the night talking, wrapped around one another, and even if he’s exhausted the
following morning, Taehyung doesn’t regret it.

Seokjin leaves them to themselves the day Jimin arrives, but by the following morning, Taehyung
is looking for him.

He doesn’t have to look for long, because Seokjin cooks breakfast for everyone, and they all sit at
the table to eat together. Seokjin looks well rested, unlike him and Jimin, who got about three
hours. Taehyung takes notice, because he’d perhaps worried about Seokjin taking Taehyung’s
absence as an opportunity to overwork himself.

“We should go to the shops,” Taehyung says, between chewing. “They have many pretty things
here, Jimin-ah. More than back home.”

Jimin looks at one of the shelves against the wall, holding an entire arrangement of things
Taehyung had bought. He likes the fancy plates, even if to look at and not use.

“I noticed everything you’ve put up. I thought they were wedding gifts.”

Taehyung huffs. “Hardly. Most of those things are still stored away. You can take whatever you’d
like home.” Taehyung pauses, looking at Seokjin. “Hyung, you don’t mind, right?” He asks as
though he already knows the answer.

Seokjin smiles at him, shaking his head. “Jimin is welcome to anything he likes, if you don’t mind
either.”

Jimin watches the interaction with a smile of his own. “What generous hosts I have.”

They walk to the market, rather than ride in. Taehyung loves to walk, and both Seokjin and Jimin
are aware of this. He may regret it when he is reminded by how hot it is.

“It’s sweltering,” Jimin complains.

Taehyung adjusts his sun hat, hair sticking down from his sweat. “It’s much hotter here. I wasn’t
aware until recently,” he says. Seokjin and he moved here at the end of winter, so he had yet to
experience the summer heat.

“Taehyung seems able to handle the cold better than me,” Seokjin adds. “But he doesn’t like the
heat.”

Taehyung gives him a look.

They make the walk in twenty minutes, and Taehyung, despite the heat, is vibrating with
excitement to show Jimin all of the shops he has grown to like.

Seokjin follows them, occasionally joining in on conversation, but mostly keeps to himself. He
offers to carry their things, which Taehyung allows until he decides there’s too much for Seokjin to
handle on his own. They visit food stalls for lunch, and Taehyung makes Jimin try six different
dishes, before Jimin looks ready to heave from the sheer amount of food he’s eaten, and Seokjin
steps in to temper Taehyung’s overeagerness.

“We can return any time you like, Taehyung-ah. We don’t have to do everything today.”

Taehyung bites his lip in embarrassment, realizing Seokjin has a point. He can’t help it, however,
Jimin has been away from him for far too long.

Taehyung makes plans with Jimin to sightsee before he heads home in a month, and on their walk
back he interlocks his arms with both Jimin and Seokjin, heady with joy from the day.

Jimin seems to draw the attention of all, regardless of where they go. Taehyung laughs a little at
the way he covers his face in invented bashfulness, though Taehyung knows Jimin is not one to
shy from attention.

The two of them walk down the busy streets of the central village, taking in the hustle of
excitement and anticipation for the street performers. Taehyung hasn’t been to the summer
activities yet, but what he’s seen so far promises to impress.

They spend their night watching in rapt attention and awe. It’s been a while since Taehyung has
seen proper dancing, and it reminds him of watching Jimin practice as they’d grown up together.
Jimin himself is impressed, and they tip the performers before they weave away into the crowd.

Taehyung buys them food, and they head for a hill nearby, still in proximity to the activities so that
they may watch everyone pass by, and they eat.

“You’ve been to the festivals before?” Jimin asks.

Taehyung nods. “In the spring, though, the activities were different. Hyung and I came a couple of
times.” He thinks back to it, and smiles privately.

“You and Seokjin-ssi are very cute together. I worried for you so much after you left, but I see it
was for naught.”

Taehyung rears his head. “We aren’t—We are married, but we haven't mated. Or anything else.
We have yet to share a kiss.”

Jimin laughs grandly, before he tapers off. “Oh. You are serious. How dreadful.”

Taehyung sighs, picking at his street food. “It is.”

“I have to admit I’m surprised,” Jimin says. “You two seem fond of each other.”

Taehyung’s mouth twists. “That is because we are. We’re friends, which was more than I had
thought possible, my first weeks here.”

Jimin's hand covers his, and when Taehyung meets his eyes, they are fiercely protective, “What do
you mean? Was he unkind?”

Jimin sounds ready to fight for him, but Taehyung only huffs. “Nothing of the sort. Hyung was
simply distant with me, and I felt terribly lonely. I missed you desperately. But I think it was a
matter of misunderstanding, and he apologized to me in any case.”

Jimin slouches back a bit, hardened look remaining. “I see. I’m happy you’ve resolved your issues,
because otherwise I would have had to involve myself. When he wrote to me asking if I’d like to
visit, and all in secret to surprise you, I thought he must have been a good man. I should have
realized he had his flaws all the same.”

Something protective flairs in Taehyung. “He is a good man,” he says, in total conviction. “I’m
lucky to have met him, Jimin-ah. I keep telling myself we would have been wonderful friends
regardless, if we’d met in different circumstances.”

Jimin raises an eyebrow. “Friends only?”

Taheyung turns away. “It’s a silly thing to waste time thinking about. Finish your food. I want to
visit more performances.”

In the time Jimin visits them, Taehyung still takes a couple of days a week to dedicate to working.
He’s coordinating to have a food reserve established, and it does require attention.
Seokjin tries to slip away into his earlier habits, with Taehyung preoccupied hosting, but Taehyung
insists they all spend time together. Seokjin seems a bit more nervous around Jimin after he and
Taehyung went to the night festivals, which leads Taehyung to believe Jimin said something after
their conversation. There’s nothing to be done about it now but roll his eyes in fond exasperation,
because he would do the same for Jimin.

Their plans to sightsee require taking the auto car, which Taehyung doesn’t spend much time in.
He prefers walking, but the trip is too long to trek by foot. They visit a nearby village known for
their history with sculpting, and Taehyung is delighted to partake in one of the classes that allows
him to try his hand. He makes Jimin and Seokjin try too, but they don’t have as much success on
their first attempts as Taehyung.

They spend a few hours there before moving on, and on their way to the next location—of which
Taehyung has no knowledge of, since it’s supposed to be a surprise—Seokjin reveals a gift for him
and Jimin.

“I had them commissioned by someone who is not artistically useless with their hands.” Seokjin
holds up a pair of matching necklaces, two heart shaped pendants hanging off the ends.
Taehyung’s is his favorite color, purple, intertwined with a light shade of pink, the same as Jimins.

“They’re beautiful,” Taehyung says, and turns around in the backseat to have Seokjin put it on him.
Jimin, who is sitting on his otherside, watches the pair with a wickedly pleased glint in his eye.
Taehyung ignores him.

Their second destination appears lackluster when they arrive. Taehyung steps out, looking around
at the trees and flat earth. “Where are we?”

“We aren't there yet,” Seokjin says. “We have to walk.”

Seokjin and their driver carry a couple of bags that Taehyung doesn’t remember seeing them pack,
but Jimin has him by the arm and is dragging him away before he can ask. They walk for twenty or
so minutes, and Taehyung realizes in the last couple of minutes that he can hear the rushing of
water. “A river?” He asks excitedly, but Seokjin shakes his head no, smile on his lips.

The greenery is heavy overhead and on either side of them, the forest lively and thicker than those
by their home. It’s when they reach the end of the earth, the ground dropping off dramatically, that
Taehyung understands.

“A waterfall,” he says in awe. “I've never—”

Tawhyung has never seen one in person, only read of them in the stories he found himself lost in,
and had tried to paint one once with a description he’d read. He had seen illustrations himself, but
they had not done the real thing justice.

“It’s beautiful,” Jimin says beside him, eyes wide and awed.

“I know how much you love the water,” Seokjin says, setting down the bag he’d carried. “Or seem
to. I hope it doesn’t disappoint.”

Taehyung shakes his head, turning to Seokjin with a beaming smile. He reaches for Seokjin’s hand,
squeezing it in gratitude, and Seokjin squeezes back. They stand there for a moment, lost in
eachother. The light breaks through the canopy of greenery overhead, and Taehyung must admit
that Seokjin looks striking. He imagines painting a portrait of him, in a similar setting.

“Would you like to jump in?” Seokjin asks eventually, and Taehyung startles back to reality.
“Is it safe?”

Seokjin gestures to something behind him, and Taehyung turns to see Jimin has already dressed
down, preparing to take a running leap towards the edge. Jimin runs forward, jumps, and yells the
whole way down, and Taehyung tugs Seokjin forward when he peers over the edge to watch him
go, their hands still connected. It’s not actually very far down, and the water is more than deep
enough.

“I’m not dressed to go swimming,” Taehyung says, but he’s laughing, already imagining it.

“I brought us clothes.”

Taehyung is already tearing through the buttons of his shirt, calling out to Jimin to wait for him the
next go around.

Seokjin admits that he wasn’t planning to go in, but a single soft-spoken “please” from Taehyung
has him stepping out of his clothing.

The three of them spend the entire day jumping off the edge of the drop-off time and time again.
The water here is an almost unnatural color of bright blue, and warmer than any water Taehyung
has swam in previous, like taking a bath. Seokjin appreciates this, still overly sensitive to cold.

“I am not overly sensitive,” Seokjin complains. “You are under-sensitive.”

Jimin laughs. “What? Taehyungie is unnaturally enduring of low temperatures, though. If that's
what you meant. We grew up in the north. You had to.”

“Do not bond over my perseverance to the cold. Hyung is still sensitive, I have conviction in this.”

Jimin ignores him to wrap his arms around Taehyung’s neck, kissing the side of his face. Taehyung
yells, trying to pry Jimin off of him, but he refuses to let go. He’s surprisingly strong.

Taehyung and Jimin fall asleep on the ride home. Taehyung wakes to his face on Seokjin’s
shoulder, and he mumbles an exhausted apology stumbling out of the door. It’s already night-fall.

Jimin is dead to the world, and Seokjin carries him into bed. Meanwhile, Taehyung prepares for
bed, hardly realizing he’s fallen into his and Seokjin’s bed until Seokjin shakes him back awake.

“Taehyung-ah? Taehyung, don’t you want to sleep in the other room?”

He’s been sleeping with Jimin since his arrival, but one night away won’t kill anyone. He mutters
something along these lines and rolls back over. Only, Seokjin doesnt let it go, and when he says
Taehyung’s name a second time, it’s forceful.
Taehyung sits up, frowning up at him; Seokjin’s expression is serious. “Fine. If you don't want me
here then I’ll leave. Goodnight.”

He yanks the blankets off of himself and stumbles to Jimin’s room, crawling into bed. He falls
asleep wondering why Seokjin must always keep him at such a careful distance.

The following morning, Taehyung realizes he’d been acting out of tiredness, and his reaction to
Seokjin’s suggestion had been immature. He doesn’t even want to meet his eyes at the table during
breakfast, feeling guilty when he realizes Seokjin made him his favorite breakfast.

Jimin notices the tension, and makes a terrible excuse about wanting to go for a walk—alone.
Taehyung approaches Seokjin when he leaves, because he should apologize.

“Hyung,” Taehyung says, while the two of them clean up. “I’m sorry if I spoke harshly last night. I
was simply tired. It was childish of me. You probably miss sleeping alone.”

Seokjin’s mouth presses into a hard line, and he shakes his head. “I—You don't need to apologize. I
simply didn’t want you to regret your decision not to stay with Jimin. He’s leaving soon, and I
know how much he means to you.” Seokjin stops in his movements to clean up. “I’ve missed
having you to myself at night.”

Taehyung nearly chokes on air, staring at Seokjin. He’s never said something that might suggest
outright affection, and he doesn't know what to do with it. Seokjin doesnt give him the chance
anyway, bustling off to the kitchen with their dishes.

Taehyung sits back down, burying his burning face in his hands.

Jimin’s last week visiting, Taehyung keeps them as busy as humanly possible.

It’s a relief to find that their goodbye is not as painful as he anticipates. He guesses it makes sense,
knowing Jimin is welcome to return at any time, that he’s not as far away and they are not as
divided as it once felt. He still cries, copiously, but he’s happy too.

Taehyung doesn’t realize that the real issue would not arise until after Jimin had gone.

With Jimin home, Taehyung is left with thoughts he hadn’t known of being present in mis mind.
The house falls into an emptiness, blanketed in silence. Taehyung had grown used to it before, and
then clearly un-used to it, in the time Jimin remained. The time to face his thoughts is unhealthy,
and he feels himself struggling.
He falls into his own emptiness, longing clawing at him from the first morning he wakes and
remembers Jimin isn’t here. As much as Taehyung loves and misses him, he knows his sudden
melancholy is not from his absence alone.

The issue is with what Jimin had left behind. Taehyung must face a new struggle, one of self
reflection and what he wants out of life. Things he thought he had given up. Things such as the
chance at a true romance. All things he hadn’t known he’d been pining after until his attention had
been brought to it. He feels blue, in a way he hasn’t for some time.

Worse still, is the way Seokjin worries for him greatly, enough so that anyone would be able to see
it. Seokjin is quiet in his affection most of the time, almost afraid of being caught in the act. While
quiet, Taehyung has never particularly thought it subtle .

Seokjin’s worry is neither quiet nor subtle.

There are mornings that getting out of bed feels like a monumental task, and one such day Seokjin
appears at Taehyung’s bed-side, food in hand.

Taehyung stares at the plate, and then Seokjin’s earnest expression, but he can’t bring himself to
feel hungry. “I’m sorry hyung,” he says softly. “I don’t want to eat.”

Seokjin sits by his side, just at the edge of the bed, and feeds Taehyung himself. Taehyung can’t
fight his instincts, the ones that want to see Seokjin happy, and Seokjin must know this. Taehyung
had done the same to him on numerous occasions.

When Seokjin brings a piece of meat to his mouth, and Taehyung refuses to eat anymore, Seokjin
goes so far as to bring his free hand around to the back of his neck and squeeze. Taehyung’s mouth
falls in surprise, and Seokjin uses the opportunity to feed him.

Taehyung chews, albeit angrily. Seokjin looks unapologetic. Regardless, he feels cared for, and
that does begin to help bring him out of his fog.

Seokjin does not back down from the challenge of filling Taehyung’s days with light, no matter
how resolutely Taehyung tries to remain in his self pity.

“If you want me to go out, you’ll have to carry me yourself,” Taehyung announces one day, rather
pridefully. He doesn’t expect Seokjin to reach down and pick him up almost instantly, arms under
Taehyung’s knees. Taehyung can do nothing by wrap himself around Seokjin in return, looking
with large eyes to his profile, dead serious.

Seokjin sits with him, and Taehyung loathes to admit the sun does wonders in making him feel
better.

The first letter Jimin sends after his return home sends Taehyung into a fit. He tries to find
somewhere private to hide and cry in peace, but even this Seokjin won’t allow, telling him that if
he wants to cry he may, but that Seokjin will remain by his side.

It’s shortly after this, that Seokjin tells him.

“Taehyung-ah, maybe it’s time for you to return home.” The words are heavy between them, lying
closely together in bed. Taehyung can tell Seokjin had been gearing up to ask at all.

“No,” he says quickly, which causes Seokjin to look at him.

“No? Taehyung… it’s clear you’re struggling. You miss home. You deserve to go. It’s certainly
been long enough.”

Taehyung can’t explain to him the reasons he doesn’t want to. That he worries for Seokjin as much
as Seokjin worries for him, and he can’t bear the thought of leaving him here in their home, alone.
The thought makes his throat feel tight.

Beyond that, he doesn’t think it would help. He would have to return eventually, and moreover, the
reason for Taehyung’s inner turmoil is not strictly tied to homesickness either. He wants Seokjin.

“No,” he repeats. “I don’t want to talk about this any further, please hyung.”

He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, and why he feels so distressed, borderline unstable at
times. Seokjin picks up on his discomposure, and when he opens his arms, Taehyung falls into
them without hesitation. They sleep like that, and every night forward.

Taehyung survives on those small mercies.

“I can’t believe you’ve grown desperate enough to go outside without my insistence.” Taehyung’s
tone is flat, but undercut with amusement.

“Believe it,” Seokjin says.

Seokjin had insisted they go for a walk today, and the pleading look he’d given was too hard to
refuse, even if Taehyung hasn’t found much joy in it as of late.

They’ve not been walking for five minutes when Seokjin stops rather abruptly. Taehyung almost
bumps right into him.

“We’ve almost arrived.” Seokjin turns around, grabbing Taehyung's hands. Taehyung stares down
at them and then to Seokjin’s face.

“Arrived where?” Taehyung asks in bewilderment. “What is happening?”

“Do you trust me, Taehyung-ah?”

Taehyung’s brows furrow. “Yes, hyung.”

“Please shut your eyes. Please don’t open them until I say so.”

Taehyung mouth opens, shuts. He thinks it best to simply comply, and shuts them after a
deliberating look to Seokjin. As soon as they’re closed Seokjin is gently guiding him forward, hand
in hand.

Taehyung listens to the sound of their footfall on the grass, the singing breeze and the swaying of
branches overhead. When they stop again, Taehyung resists the urge to open his eyes, keeping to
Seokjin’s instructions.

Seokjin guides him forward a couple of steps, seemingly adjusting him exactly. Taehyung's mouth
twists with amusement.

“You can open.”

Taehyung does.

In front of him in a small building, no more the size of a single room, but all of the walls are
constructed almost entirely of glass. Inside, it’s still empty.

“I had this built for you,” Seokjin says. “A studio, for when you want to paint but it’s too hot or
cold to do it outdoors.”

Taehyung takes several moments to process what he’s seeing and hearing. His heart beats fast, his
stomach feels itself in knots, and he doesn’t know what to say, or do, only that it’s so thoughtful—
Seokjin is thoughtful, always. Seokjin is considerate of him, makes him so happy—

“Hyung,” he says, smile already growing.

Seokjin looks bashful, looking everywhere but at him. “It’s truly nothing—“

Taehyung closes the distance between them, arms reaching to wrap around his shoulders and neck.
Seokjin grabs him, twisting him around, and Taehyung does the only thing in his head at that exact
moment. He leans in and kisses him.

Seokjin’s face tilts, and they’re still spinning from the momentum, feet twisting around one another
in the grass with excitement and adrenaline of the moment. When Taehyung pulls away, Seokjin
chases after his mouth, and they kiss again, one, two more times.

When the reality of the situation sets in, Taehyung stumbles back a little, hands coming to cover
his mouth.

Seokjin looks at him for a loaded moment. “Well. I’m happy you like it.”

“I love it,” Taehyung rushes to say. “Thank you very much.”

“Let me show you the inside,” Seokjin says. Taehyung follows, fingers brushing over his lips.

The final addition to his disastrous mental spiral comes with Seokjin giving him a peculiar look. In
bed later that night, Seokjin tells Taehyung he thinks he’s started pre-heat.

Almost reactionarily, Taehyung’s head begins to hurt. “I’m not due for another two seasons,” he
says confidently, but he feels himself internally wavering with doubt.

“Your scent,” Seokjin says gently, like he’s delivering bad news instead of stating a fact. “It’s
changed. You don’t feel anything?”
Taehyung sighs, burrowing into Seokjin’s arms. “I don’t care.”

Seokjin pets down his back, and Taehyung feels like he could purr, so contented by it.
“Taehyung,” he scolds, though his touch remains gentle.

“I’ve felt it,” he admits in defeat. “But I was ignoring it. And I will continue to do so.”

“You scold me for not taking care of myself, and are the first in line to neglect your own needs,”
Seokjin murmurs, but Taehyung is already falling asleep.

In a recent letter, Jimin had been begging Taehyung to return home for a visit. Taehyung knows he
and Seokjin keep in contact, and Seokjin must have said something, the traitor.

Taehyung explains his reasoning, honest with Jimin until the end, to which Jimin offers a simple
solution. Bring hyung with you . Taehyung stores that problem for future him, one who isn’t in pre-
heat and wishing his husband wanted him in any real way so that he didn’t have to endure it alone.

He’s achy, and Seokjin’s offers for massages only help so much. They make Taehyung want what
he cannot have, and before long he’s properly nesting. Seokjin has to sleep in the spare room, for
obvious reasons, and Taehyung spends the entirety of his heat upset.

It seems to wear on him more than any of his recent heats, and he emerges with a clinginess that
warrants embarrassment, but Seokjin says nothing of it.

He’s not clueless, he knows most likely why it was more of a struggle for him than usual, that he’s
responding to being in proximity to someone he wants. It’s his stupid instincts and biology teaming
up to kick him while he’s down.

On the other side of it, he has to decide if asking Seokjin to travel home with him would be a good
idea. He wants to go, but he also doesn’t. He cannot explain the struggle he’s experiencing in
proper cohesiveness, but it boils down to wanting to remain in the bubble they’ve built for
themselves while wanting something more, simultaneously.

If they travel, and being home changes something for Taehyung, will it be a good change? What if
he’s not truly as happy as he thought he was? He works himself up and down these arguments until
he is exhausted, and while trying to think through it, throws himself into work.

Food reserves have been established, and Taehyung spends every day of the next week out in the
village helping distribution efforts. It makes him feel better in the moment, but he still has to go
home with himself every night.

Seokjin is endlessly understanding, never pushing for him to open up. Eventually, Taehyung
makes up his mind.

“Hyung,” he says. His face is buried in Seokjin’s neck, the two of them lying down. He feels safe
here, and brave enough to ask what he wants. “I’ve decided to go home.”

Seokjin’s arms around him squeeze tighter for a moment. “I'm happy for you Taehyung.”
“If,” Taehyung interrupts, heart rate fast. “You agree to come with me.”

There’s pause, and Taehyung fears Seokjin will deny him.

“If that’s what you wish,” he replies. Taehyung notes the twinge of something unhappy in his tone,
however, and immediately wonders why.

He thinks of several different ways to ask, to try and prod into Seokjin’s inner thoughts, but he
doesn’t feel he has the right. Seokjin never pushed for information, and Taehyung should re-extend
his kindness.

Instead, he thanks him and shuts his eyes, ready to sleep.

Seokjin is preoccupied with what seems like a million things, leading up to their visit.

With the days shortening, and the air growing colder, Taehyung takes it upon himself to
commission a new coat for Seokjin. It’s going to be colder still up north, and Seokjin forgets things
in regards to his own needs.

They are, expectedly, greeted by Jimin, who stands at the edge of his old home’s gates, arms
waving through the air in unbridled excitement. Taehyung nearly jumps out before the auto car has
finished moving, and Seokjin scolds him for nearly hurting himself, but Taehyung is already racing
towards Jimin.

His parents are the next to greet them, and Taehyung and Seokjin greet them respectfully, much
calmer. Seokjin loops an arm through Taehyung’s as Taehyung gives him a tour of what was once
his home—of what would still be his home, had things been different.

Taehyung shows him his old bedroom, and the art projects he’d not thought worth taking with him.
Seokjin listens attentively the entire time, seemingly enchanted by it all. It’s not long before his
father comes and takes Seokjin away, and Taehyung is left to his own devices.

It’s not until dinner that Taehyung sees Seokjin again, and he immediately picks up on a tensness
that had not been there only earlier today. Seokjin won’t quite meet his eye, but squeezes the life
out of Taehyung’s hand under the dinner table. The contradiction is a strange one, and Taehyung is
distracted through their meal.

They share Taehyung’s old bed that night, and Seokjin continues to cling to him, as though afraid
Taehyung is going to disappear from thin air. Taehyung doesn't know what to say, nor do, and tries
his best to clutch back in a desperate reassurance. He wakes alone.

Taehyung had only planned to stay for two weeks, though things were open to change. Originally
this had meant possibly staying longer. Because they’d driven themselves, they had no need to
depend on the transfer schedule. Taehyung is now wondering if they should leave sooner.

“Good morning,” Taehyung greets his parents after he comes downstairs, the both of them in the
front room. “Have you seen Seokjin-hyung?” He asks, but his parents only give confused smiles
and disappointing shakes of their heads.

Their first week here is most of the same. Taehyung sees Seokjin during meals, maybe three more
times, and he’s never able to ask where he’s been or what he’s doing, fearful of the extra eyes and
lack of privacy. Something inside him feels uneasy, and he finds it hard to enjoy being home.

Even more unusual is how little Taehyung feels, being here at all. When he had left after being
married, nearly a year ago now, he had dreamed of nothing more than for the possibility of coming
back one day. He’s happy to see the faces of those he loves, but there’s another face he loves now
too, and Taehyung feels his absence greatly.

At night, the only time the two of them might have any hope of speaking freely, Taehyung is too
tired, and most relevantly, too afraid to try and work through the strange atmosphere between them.

He holds all of his fear and longing inside of his heart, and tells himself that what he's feeling must
surely be irrational.

Ultimately, it’s found not to be irrational.

Taehyung wakes with a start, the feeling of being alone in bed something he’s once again growing
accustomed to. Unlike usual, Seokjin is still in the room.

He sits on the alcove of Taehyung’s window, the glass panel open and letting in the cold.
Taehyung sits up on his hands, squinting through the morning gloom to Seokjin’s profile. He’s
staring out at the world like he’s seeing through it, seemingly unaffected by the cold air, despite
not wearing a jacket. Taehyung gets up and drags the blanket with him, sitting beside Seokjin to
cover them both. It reminds him of the first day they spent time together, by the creek.

Seokjin doesn't acknowledge Taehyung, doesn't seem to do anything but breathe and stare
unseeing. Taehyung bumps his shoulder with his own, frown set in his features.

“Hyung… won’t you please talk to me?”

Seokjin turns, and Taehyung wants to lean in and press their lips together. It wouldn’t take much,
the two of them practically breathing the same air this close together.

His eyes are far away, still, and Taehyung brings a hand up to cup his red cheek, cool to the touch.
“How long have you been awake?”

“A while,” Seokjin murmurs. Taehyung missed the sound of it. They haven’t said much to each
other this week. “I’m headed home today,” Seokjin says, solem.

Taehyung almost sags in relief. “You want to go early? That's fine. I’ll tell my parents, they’ll
understand. Now that we have the extra room, they can come and stay with us anyhow—”
Seokjin’s frowning when he speaks. “No, Taehyung. I’m going home today, alone.”

“What?” Taehyung blurts, and all that secret fear comes pouring out. “What, why? Is something
wrong?”

“No,” Seokjin says. His hand rests over Taehyung’s. “I want you to be happy.”

Taehyung thinks there’s been a breakdown in communication somewhere, that started sometime
around when Taehyung hid the fact that he could want more, a breakdown exacerbated when
Seokjin went out with his father that morning. Something is wrong. He feels it.

“Hyung, you’re not making any sense. I’m happy with you. We—we take care of each other. We
care for each other, don't pretend that we don’t.”

Seokjin looks devastated. Eyes wild. “Taehyung. I know—I know that you were never destined to
be the one who married me all those months ago. It was your brother, and you were—you were
forced into this without a say, at the last minute, at that. I had years to prepare myself, and I still
wasn’t ready… and you.” Seokjin looks on the verge of tears.

Taehyung shakes his head, rushing to sit on his knees, taking Seokjin’s face into both his hands.

“I treated you so terribly in the beginning, left you alone, when you were doing nothing but acting
selflessly,” Seokjin continues. “You are so good, Taehyung-ah. You are the most beautiful person
I’ve had the privilege of meeting. I don’t deserve the hand fate has given me.”

“Hyung, stop,” Taehyung whispers. “Stop. What are you saying?”

“But it’s not too late to correct things for you. You deserve to live the life you want. That’s why
I'm going home, and you’re staying here. I’ve been trying to find a way around it this entire week,
but I think I figured something out.”

Taehyung’s head is spinning. “I don’t understand, why would—?”

“We’ll remain married, but.” Seokjin’s hands clutches at Taehyung’s, and Taehyung looks down at
their hands in fright. The way Seokjin has been behaving, the way he held Taehyung like he was
going to disappear—Taehyung sees with stunning clarity. “You won’t be forced to stay with me.
You can—”

“Stop.” Taehyung’s voice is booming in the quiet of the morning. “Just stop it. What are you
saying, you lunatic? Haven’t you realized already that I’ve fallen in love with you? I love you. You
make me happy. You are my home. The rest of our lives isn’t enough time to appreciate you the
way I want to. Hyung, don’t be so thick-headed.” The tears that had been at bay fall freely, and
Taehyung wipes at them, one at a time. “Please don’t push me away anymore. I want nothing more
than to be with you, always.”

Seokjin rushes to gather Taehyung in his arms. “How could you allow yourself to love me, after
what was done to you? I don’t deserve your affection, but I refuse to be so selfless and give it up. I
love you, Taehyung-ah.”

Taehyung slumps, in relief, in love, in devotion; the words balm to the ardant yearning in his heart.

—
They decide to remain the other week. Taehyung finds joy in so much, without the heavy weight of
worry to distract him. Seokjin seems unable to keep his eyes off of him when they are out in
public, or his hands off him when they lay together at night. Taehyung kisses him an annoying
amount, because he’s wanted to do nothing more since that day in the field, when they kissed for
the first time.

He’s excited to return to their home, not because it’s home, but because Seokjin will remain by his
side.

“I couldn't suppress my urges to court you properly,” Seokjin tells him, on the way back. Taehyung
is sitting in his lap in the back seat, uncaring of their driver. Seokjin noses his cheek, laying soft
pecks occasionally.

“You did an excellent job,” Taehyung says, meant to be teasing, but it sounds utterly sincere. “You
consider my needs so completely.” He turns to look Seokjin in the eyes. “And I love you,” he adds.

Seokjin smiles. He brings Taehyung’s hand to his mouth, kisses it once. “I love you.”

Taehyung gives him a look, one that promises more, though Seokjin no longer shys from them.
Taehyung thinks he’s been encouraging it, actually.

“I have a question,” Seokjin adds, before Taehyung can do or say anything more.

Taehyung tilts his head. Seokjin tucks a piece of his hair behind his ear. “Have you ever been to
the seaside?”

***

epilogue

Taehyung clutches his sun hat to his head, the wind threatening to carry it away. He squints out to
the water. “Hyung, please hurry!” He calls over the whipping breeze, turning around to see Seokjin
trudging a bag with him.

Seokjin makes his way over, setting everything down into the sand. Taehyung grabs his hand,
bouncing up and down. Seokjin looks down at the spray of sand in distaste.

The two of them walk through the sand and to the tide pools, their things and sensibilities
forgotten. Taehyung is overwhelmed with excitement, and Seokjin allows him to wrap his legs
around his waist in a carry when they brave the water and waves.

“You’re so strong, hyung” Taehyung says yet again, running his hands over his shoulders. His skin
has begun to burn under the attention of the sun. Seokjin gives him a smile, trying for
reprimanding.
“I fear my husband is insatiable.”

“Fear? Or appreciate?” Taehyung asks, and leans in to kiss him full on the mouth. Seokjin clutches
him tighter, hands rough under Taehyung’s thighs, and Taehyung feels himself growing excited
already, skin flushing hot and blood pumping. Seokjin carries them back to the beach, where they
lay over their blanket with no regards to the sand getting all over them, and kiss until their lips feel
swollen.

Taehyung very impatiently watches the sunset, while trying not to squirm too obviously, and
Seokjin does him absolutely no favors, hand on his thigh. He thinks they both miss the actual
sunset in all the teasing, and make their way over to their accommodation with quick feet.
Taehyung is giggling when they stumble in, the wooden door swinging and hitting the wall before
bouncing a couple of times.

Seokjin and him fall into bed still covered in sand, despite trying to have rid themselves, and by the
time Seokjin undresses him, Taehyung is aching with want.

“Touch me,” he says, and Seokjin obliges him.

Seokjin handles him with a care that makes Taehyung shake with impatience, but by the time he
decides to stop sweetly torturing him, Taehyung is more than wet between his legs. Seokjin presses
in with nothing but patience, fire in his eyes, and Taehyung clutches him.

It’s one sinuous drag of pleasure, and by the time they’ve had their fill Taehyung is too tired to
move or do anything on his own. Seokjin washes his hair for him, and when they get back in bed,
there’s still somehow sand in the covers.

The following morning, Taehyung trips out of bed. “I was so foolish!” Taehyung shouts, which
wakes Seokjin in a second.

“What’s happening?” Seokjin asks in bewilderment, his upper body exposed to the room.
Taehyung stops to stare for a moment before going to dig through their things.

“The—the painting,” Taehyung says breathlessly. “I finally know what it’s missing.”

He pulls his canvas from their things, pulling his paints out next. Seokjin is squinting at him in
consternation. “Taehyung-ah, I love you—”

“I love you too hyung.”

“But you truly have a mind of your own. One that is hard to understand.”

“The painting ,” Taehyung emphasizes, and when Seokjin walks over to where Taehyung is folded
over it on the floor, recognizes it immediately.

“The one you said was missing something. It still seems complete to me.”

Taehyung waves him off. “I am the artist. It’s missing you.”

“Your painting… misses me?”

“No. It’s missing you.”

Taehyung spends the morning beginning to add the final detail. It’s a painting of the forest, facing
as if standing in their gardens at home. It’s set at night, the shadowy blues and grays falling over
 the scenery. Seokjin had called it romantic, but Taehyung felt it was closer to longing. Seokjin was
missing. And painting him into the scene, it feels complete.

When Seokjin gets to see it, later fully completed, Taehyung makes him admit that Taehyung is
indeed the artist between them.

(“I never contested that.”

“It is the matter of the principle.”)

Taehyung is happy, and he knows Seokjin is too. He holds onto these precious moments, and
works hard to create space and opportunity for more. There’s nothing more that he could want.

end

"some prophets say the world is gonna end tomorrow

but others say we've got a week or two

the paper is full of every kind of blooming horror

and you sit wondering

what you're gonna do.

i got it.

come. and be my baby."

End Notes

thank you so much for reading. I hope it was enjoyable! If you have any thoughts i would
love to hear them. twitter post if u liked it enough to share (tysm)

If for some reason u wanna know what i get up to on twitter . I mostly taejin & jikook post.
And maybe talk about wips. Till next time~

list of quotes & their sources

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