WEEK 2: CONTENTS PAGE

Page Contents
1. COVER
2. CONTENTS PAGE
3. HEADLINES
4. RESULTS
5. GAME OF THE WEEK
6. GAME OF THE WEEK
7. NFC STANDINGS
8. AFC STANDINGS
9. TOP PERFORMANCES OF THE WEEK (TEAMS)
10. TOP PERFORMANCES OF THE WEEK (PLAYERS)
11. LEAGUE LEADERS (PLAYERS)
12. LEAGUE LEADERS (PLAYERS)
13. LEAGUE LEADERS (TEAMS)
14. COMMERCIAL BREAK SPONSORED BY MCMURTY’S
15. THE AGONY UNCLE
16. OBITS AND PIECES
17. LOW EXPECTATIONS
18. GAZ ATTACK!
19. JOHNNY BLOOD BOWL/DID YOU KNOW?
20. BROKEN NEWS
21. PREVIEW OF NEXT WEEK
22. ADVERTISMENT: BULLY/ NOSH IT OR VOMIT
This Week’s Contributors
Cover, 4,5,14,15,16,17: Knute Rock-Knee (Insta: @NAF_2489_90)
Page: 19, 20, 22: C.Z.Matic
Page: 19 (Did You Know) Sandwich
Page 18: WT Brown @ScorpusFlex | Linktree
Page 15,16: Pete Knifton, 1988-89 (Illustration)

DISCLAIMER: This book is a work of fan fiction based on the game ‘Blood Bowl’ which is owned by
Games Workshop. The book uses intellectual property without permission, no challenge is intended.
This fanzine is produced solely as a hobby-based project and is not commercially available.

Sports Killerstrated, Issue 2. Published by the NAF.net September 16th, 2023

 NAF WEEK 2: HEADLINES
Varag Gets a Black Eye Four-Arms No Idea
What was billed as the game of the season An error strewn game by hapless Skaven
between the ascendant Gouged Eye and Scramblers’ thrower Shishk Four-Arms
Reikland Reavers ended up as an easy win gifted the Creeveland Crescents a vital away
for Helmut Zwimmer’s men. An over win at the City of Skavenblight Stadium.
enthusiastic Varag Ghoul-Chewer was
knocked out of the game by Helmut Rokstein
and the Eye never recovered. Catcher Ben Get That Boot Out of My Face!
Jansen was in great form tearing through Despite a routine 3-0 thrashing of the
the Orcs defense and setting up one of Griff Hobgoblin Team, the Galadrieth Gladiators
Oberwald’s two touchdowns. are this week ruing team captain Lucien
Swift’s arrogance. With the Hobgob defense
in disarray the Elf super star decided to make
Golden Wanderers an intricate weaving run through four
The surprise package of the new season defenders to make their humiliation
continues to be the Worlds Edge Wanderers. complete. As expected, none of the Hobgobs
Despite pre-season doom and gloom with a could touch him, except for gormless
number of players making it clear they wish lineman Gobstock the Vincible who was
to leave, the Dwarfs from Karak Azul pulled trying (and failing) to tie his bootlaces at the
off a famous victory against the heavily time. Swift inexplicably didn’t see the
favoured Orcland Raiders. The Orcs blamed crouching Hobgoblin and came crashing to
a controversial call by the referee for the ground, and soon after had several pairs
denying them victory. of opposition boots crashing down on him.
Thankfully the referee called a penalty to
Were for Real, Howls Chaney stop play before things could get even
The Westside Werewolves showed they worse. However, Swift has a fractured arm
mean business by comfortably beating AFC as well as a red face, and could miss up to
West rivals Bruendar Grimjacks in one of the half the season
Moonsday games.

Elves on the Verge of a Nervous

Breakdown
It was the same old story as the Darkside
Cowboys utterly humiliated the Athelorn
Avengers, that they did it at the Great Tree
Stadium, Avengers’ home, made the
dismantling all the more sweet
 RESULTS WEEK 2
Home Team Score Away Team Fat’l
Icecastle Wolves 0 - 3 Albion Wanderers 0 1
Middenheim Marauders 1 - 3 Champions of Death 0 2
Nurgle's Rotters 2 - 3 Arctic Cragspiders 1 3
Underworld Creepers 1 - 3 Naggaroth Nightwings 0 3
Reikland Reavers 3 - 1 Gouged Eye 2 1
Lustria Croakers 3 - 1 Bluchen Berserkers 1 1
Oldheim Ogres 2 - 3 Khain's Killers 2 1
Chaos All-Stars 3 - 2 Scarcrag Snivellers 3 0
Dwarf Warhammerers 3 - 2 Bright Crusaders 2 0
Stunted Stoutfellows 0 - 3 Dark Renegades 0 3
Bruendar Grimjacks 1 - 3 Westside Werewolves 0 2
Elfheim Eagles 3 - 2 Everbold Unicorns 0 0
Evil Gits 3 - 1 Greenfield Grasshuggers 3 0
Athelorn Avengers 0 - 3 Darkside Cowboys 0 2
Southstorm Squids 3 - 0 Bluebay Crammers 1 0
Skaven Scramblers 2 - 3 Creeveland Crescents 1 1
Asgard Ravens 0 - 3 Dwarf Giants 0 5
Vynheim Valkyries 3 - 0 Lowdown Rats 3 0
Galadrieth Gladiators 3 - 0 Hobgoblin Team 1 1
Orcland Raiders 2 - 3 Worlds Edge Wanderers 1 1

NAF Rules Recap

1) The first team to score 3 Touchdowns is declared the winner.
2) A tie occurs if no team has won after 10 hours of play.
3) A game is abandoned when it is impossible for both teams to continue the game.
4) A conceded game is registered as a 0-3 loss to the conceding team.

Key
The table above reveals the following information from left to right:
Home team name/ Home team score (TD)/ Away team score (TD)/ Away team name/ Fat’l=Home
Fatalities caused/ Away Fatalities caused*

* Fatalities Caused includes opposition players, opposition staff, officials and members of the public.

Teams in Bold won the game

 3-1
“Good evening, Sports Fans. “…Jacob von Altdorf drops back to pass. He’s
Well, Blood Bowl games don’t come much bigger than this: The going long to Ben Jansen… Oh boy, he made
Reikland Reavers vs the Gouged Eye at the Altdorf Oldbowl! the catch! ... Jansen leaves Gurk Halftoad for
Normally, I’d have my old buddy Bob Bifford here as dead… he’s going to go all the way!
summariser but after an open and constructive discussion with Touchdown Reikland!
the controller of the ABC network*, it’s been mutually agreed Woo-eee, what a play! They don’t call him
that Bob will step away from commentating duties this week to ‘fast’ Ben for nothing!
do the Middenheim traffic report. Talk us through the replay, Nick.”
Which means, I’ve got Nick Nickson here with me. Nick, what
formation do you think the Eye will be using tonight? “Ummm, which end of this
thing do I talk into, Jim?”
“Errr… Sorry, Jim,
is this thing on?”
*See Issue 1’s ‘Biff Interview’

“…Varag Ghoul-Chewer has had

enough, he’s demanding Harg
Vainkill hands off to him. Boy oh boy,
Varag’s got the ball and he looks
ready to take on the entire Reavers
team single handed (and at 2-1
down, they sure need some
inspiration).

Wham! He flattens Ziggi Abschuss,

Boom! He’s decked Ivan Kellhoofer…
but what’s this? Holy
Heldenhammer! Helmut Rokstein just
made the block of his career, Varag’s
out cold! Gee, he looks hurt as well.
Without him leading the line, it’s
game over now, Surely?”

“Eh? Who’s Shirley, Jim?”

Reikland Reavers Statistics
Player Rushing Passing Blocks Fouls Pass TDs Inter- Casu-
Paces Paces Made Made Comp. Scored cepts alties
Griff Oberwald 32 0 2 0 0 2 0 0
Gregor Meissan 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0
‘Fast' Ben Jansen 100 0 3 0 0 1 0 0
Jacob von Altdorf 0 142 1 0 6 0 0 0
Zug 0 0 6 0 0 0 0 0
Matthias Meier 0 0 6 0 0 0 0 1
Vaz Vaztek 0 0 9 0 0 0 0 1
Helmut Rokstein 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 1
Ziggi Abschuss 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 0
Ritter von Baum 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 0
Ivan Kellhoofer 5 2 3 1 0 0 1 0
Dieter Blunt 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0
Hans von Broken 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0
Helmut Headreka 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Luigi di Passella 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Ludwig von Kleister 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
TOTALS 137 144 41 1 4 3 1 3

Gouged Eye Statistics

Player Rushing Passing Blocks Fouls Pass TDs Inter- Casu-
Paces Paces Made Made Comp. Scored cept alties
Varag Ghoul-Chewer 0 0 10 1 0 0 0 0
Krug Painspear 75 0 1 0 0 0 0 0
Osgar Vilechuck 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0
Harg Vainkill 0 96 3 0 4 0 0 0
Rip Sorepain 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0
Urfrik Skullhack 0 0 12 0 0 0 0 0
Da Rock 0 0 5 0 0 0 0 0
G'Haarg Swordbiter 0 0 7 0 0 0 0 0
Hak Demoncutter 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 0
‘Bandy’ Durg Muglurk 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 0
Trok Elfsplitter 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0
Gurk Halftoad 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Ugly Rackspike 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Blarg Gut-Wrencher 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Gort Skullhack 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Anga Gassga 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
TOTALS 75 96 44 3 1 1 0 0

Sent Off: Trok Elfsplitter

MATCH FACTS

ATTENDANCE: 95000
VENUE: Altdorf Oldbowl (Altdorf)
MVP: Ben Jansen (Reikland Reavers)
REFEREE: Viktor Spektor (Sylvania)
STANDINGS WEEK 2

W L T PF PA FF FA
Darkside Cowboys 2 0 0 6 2 3 0
Evil Gits 2 0 0 6 3 3 0
Athelorn Avengers 1 1 0 3 3 1 1
Everbold Unicorns 0 2 0 4 6 0 1
Greenfield Grasshuggers 0 2 0 1 6 0 1

W L T PF PA FF FA
Vynheim Valkyries 2 0 0 6 0 3 0
Dwarf Giants 1 1 0 5 3 5 0
Asgard Ravens 1 1 0 3 3 1 1
Nurgle's Rotters 0 2 0 2 6 1 0
Lowdown Rats 0 2 0 0 6 0 2

W L T PF PA FF FA
Creeveland Crescents 2 0 0 6 3 2 0
Southstorm Squids 1 1 0 4 3 1 1
Skaven Scramblers 1 1 0 5 4 1 0
Dwarf Warhammerers 1 1 0 4 5 2 0
Bluebay Crammers 0 2 0 2 6 0 0

W L T PF PA FF FA
Worlds Edge Wanderers 2 0 0 6 4 1 0
Galadrieth Gladiators 1 1 0 5 3 1 1
Lustria Croakers 1 1 0 5 4 1 0
Orcland Raiders 1 1 0 5 5 1 0
Hobgoblin Team 0 2 0 1 6 1 1
STANDINGS WEEK 2

W L T PF PA FF FA
Reikland Reavers 2 0 0 6 1 3 0
Gouged Eye 1 1 0 4 3 2 0
Underworld Creepers 1 1 0 4 5 0 1
Naggaroth Nightwings 1 1 0 3 4 3 1
Bluchen Berserkers 0 2 0 1 6 4 2

W L T PF PA FF FA
Champions of Death 2 0 0 6 1 3 0
Albion Wanderers 1 1 0 4 3 1 0
Middenheim Marauders 1 1 0 4 4 0 0
Icecastle Wolves 1 1 0 3 5 0 0
Arctic Cragspiders 1 1 0 3 5 3 1

W L T PF PA FF FA
Chaos All-Stars 2 0 0 6 2 7 1
Khain's Killers 2 0 0 6 3 1 0
Bright Crusaders 1 1 0 5 4 0 0
Scarcrag Snivellers 0 2 0 3 6 0 1
Oldheim Ogres 0 2 0 2 6 4 1

W L T PF PA FF FA
Westside Werewolves 2 0 0 6 3 2 0
Dark Renegades 1 1 0 5 3 3 0
Elfheim Eagles 1 1 0 5 5 0 0
Bruendar Grimjacks 1 1 0 4 5 0 0
Stunted Stoutfellows 0 2 0 2 6 0 0
WEEK 2 TOP PERFORMANCES
(TEAMS)

MOST RUSHING PACES

Darkside Cowboys 210 Westside Werewolves 266

MOST PASSING PACES

Darkside Cowboys 216 Dark Renegades 153

TOTAL OFFENSIVE PACES

Darkside Cowboys 426 Westside Werewolves 366

Sports Killerstrated’s TEAMS OF THE WEEK

DARKSIDE WESTSIDE
COWBOYS WEREWOLVES
WEEK 2 TOP PERFORMANCES
(PLAYERS)

MOST PACES GAINED

Kurt Livingrock 105 Lavesil Darkshade 128
Dwarf Giants Naggaroth Nightwings

MOST PASSING PACES

Moravis Curfew 216 Kendal Storm 153
Darkside Cowboys Dark Renegades

MOST TOUCHDOWNS
Asperon Thorn 3 Griff Oberwald 2
Darkside Cowboys Reikland Reavers

MOST FATALITIES
Hawthorn Tullaris 3 Exon “The Executioner”
Darkside Cowboys Gallowspite 2
Naggaroth Nightwings

MOST BLOCKS
Hubris Rakarth 12 Ramtut the Third 14
Darkside Cowboys Champions of Death

Sports Killerstrated’s WEEK 1 NAF MVP

Hubris Rakarth (Darkside Cowboys)

40 Paces Rushing, 15 Paces Passing, 12
Blocks, 3 Fouls, 2 Interceptions
 LEAGUE LEADERS (PLAYERS)

RUSHING LEADERS
PLAYER PACES TEAM
Vinny Valhalla 182 Vynheim Valkyries
Lavesil Darkshade 165 Naggaroth Nightwings
Rigor Mortis 158 Champions of Death
Fast' Ben Jansen 149 Reikland Reavers
Kurt Livingrock 143 Dwarf Giants
Digger Novgorod 143 Worlds Edge Wanderers
Scion Corvass 138 Dark Renegdes
Spike Skinelf 134 Underworld Creepers
Wilhelm Chaney 132 Westside Werewolves
Quetzal Leap 131 Lustria Croakers
PASSING LEADERS
PLAYER PACES TEAM
Jacob von Altdorf 436 Reikland Reavers
Jem Goldstar 366 Athelorn Avengers
Harg Vainkill 353 Gouged Eye
Moravis Curfew 310 Darkside Cowboys
Rudolf Runespear 309 Vynheim Valkyries
Valen Swift 307 Elfheim Eagles
Breda Freedom 307 Galadrieth Gladiators
Pern Faction 305 Everbold Unicorns
Chandra Sniperblade 296 Khain’s Killers
Egon Saintlyburg 294 Bright Crusaders

TOP SCORERS
PLAYER TD TEAM
Asperon Thorn 4 Darkside Cowboys
Grimwold Grimbreath 4 Dwarf Giants
Vinny Valhalla 4 Vynheim Valkyries
Lucas de Beaumanners 3 Albion Wanderers
Moloch Arcaneson 3 Bruendar Grimjacks
Stefan Helmhand 3 Champions of Death
Kefft the Despised 3 Chaos All-Stars
Jäger von Cannondorf 3 Middenheim Marauders
Garvest Blackaxe 3 Dwarf Warhammerers
Attila the Fiend 3 Evil Gits
 LEAGUE LEADERS (PLAYERS)

LEADING KILLERS
PLAYER FATALITIES TEAM
Hawthorn Tullaris 4 Darkside Cowboys
Rrr'krag Smma'gugg 3 Creveland Crescents
Michelangelo von Hiebert 3 Creveland Crescents
"Big" Zoggin Uglyfists 3 Evil Gits
"Inky" O'Kraken 3 Southstorm Squids
Ivar the Boneless 3 Vynheim Valkyries
Wilhelm Chaney 3 Westside Werewolves
Bardin Ironglove 3 worlds Edge Wanderers
Hengist O'Hooligan 2 Asgard Ravens
Tyros Bundt 2 Bright Crusaders
INTERCEPTION LEADERS
PLAYER INT’S TEAM
Hubris Rakarth 3 Darkside Cowboys
Wilhelm Chaney 3 Westside Werewolves
Hoshi Komi 2 Creeveland Crescents
Zephyr Shimmyleaf 2 Everbold Unicorns
Manian Devil 2 Khain’s Killers
Lottabottol 2 Lustria Croakers
Horace Pillory-Maul 1 Albion Wanderers
Thorgard Thwackson 1 Asgard Ravens
Luarn Proudbow 1 Athelorn Avengers
"Clean" Hans Weiss 1 Bright Crusaders
 LEAGUE LEADERS (TEAMS)

LEADING RUSHING TOP

OFFENSE OFFENSE
TEAM PACES TEAM PACES
Westside Werewolves 383 Reikland Reavers 742
Vynheim Valkyries 335 Vynheim Valkyries 644
Dwarf Giants 310 Westside Werewolves 615
Reikland Reavers 306 Darkside Cowboys 582
Champions of Death 298 Gouged Eye 571
Dark Renegades 296 Dark Renegades 567
Worlds Edge Wanderers 281 Champions of Death 566
Chaos All-Stars 274 Bright Crusaders 537
Darkside Cowboys 272 Chaos All-Stars 524
Skaven Scramblers 262 Khain's Killers 524
HIGHEST
LEADING PASSING ATTENDANCE
OFFENSE
PLAYER PACES
95000
Reikland Reavers 436
Athelorn Avengers 435 Altdorf Oldbowl
Gouged Eye 353 for
Darkside Cowboys 310 Reikland Reavers
Vynheim Valkyries 309 vs
Galadrieth Gladiators 307 Gouged Eye
Everbold Unicorns 305
Khain's Killers 296
Bright Crusaders 294
Middenheim Marauders 292
THE AGONY UNCLE
Varag Ghoul-Chewer
Answers
Sports Killerstrated
Readers’ Problems
 Obits and Pieces
Your Handy guide to this week’s most spectacular fatalities.

REMEMBERING…

LICKFESTER Midden broke into the Underworld Creepers during

the 2484 season, and when we say ‘broke in’ we
MIDDEN mean it, because he first entered the team HQ as a
burglar, intent on helping himself to the team’s
UNDERWORLD CREEPERS treasury. However, his clumsy attempts at safe
cracking caught the attention of the Creepers’ Rat
Ogre security guard, whereby, fearing for his life, he
leapt out of the nearest window and found himself
slap bang in the middle of a team training session.
He was quickly discovered, but Head Coach Lance
Fleshbarb surprisingly picked him to play in their
next game; it should be noted that this was actually
a punishment, due to the painfully short life
expectancy of the Creepers’ Goblin players!

S adly, Midden’s Luck ran out this season, against

the Naggaroth Nightwings. In retrospect, it probably
wasn’t the wisest of idea to stamp on the foot of a
player called Exon ‘The Executioner’ Gallowspite,
but then, Goblins aren’t renowned for their wisdom.
L ickfester Midden, you weren’t a star, you never
broke any records (in fact you managed to kill more
teammates than opponents), you didn’t even get in
the starting XI much, but you were, without a doubt,
truly mediocre, and for a Goblin that’s high praise
indeed.
Sick Transit Gobbo Mundi (or something like that).

L ickfester Midden is dead… what took him so long? Sports Killerstrated Fact File
To be brutally honest, it was a miracle that the
Underworld Creepers’ Goblin Lineman managed to Name: Lickfester Midden
last as long as he did in the NAF, particularly as he Age: 25
was part of a team renowned for its high turnover of Height: 4’5’’
players (most of which are self-inflicted). That’s not Weight: 98 lbs
to say there weren’t some close shaves, who can
College: None
forget the time, after a particularly bad defeat to the
Gouged Eye, he boldly asked Rip Sorepain if he’d like Crush: None (Recruited in 2484)
to swap cod pieces… he subsequently missed the Team(s): Underworld Creepers
rest of that season after requiring surgery to help Position: Lineman
remove a codpiece rammed into a particularly Honours: Chaos Cup winner’s medal
sensitive part of his anatomy. Other than that, his 2484.
sneakiness and high pain threshold ensured he
Career Statistics: 5 Seasons;
stayed relatively healthy and helped him cement his
place as the go to Gobbo for warming the dugout 2 TD; 110 paces Rushing; 52 Fouls;
bench. 1 Fatality; 2 Teammate Fatalities Caused.
 K 2
WEE LAR
U
REG RES
A TU
FE

Low Expectations
A Round-Up of the NAF’s Just as the official NAF observers at the game
Naffest Teams were beginning to get suspicious, the furious All-
Stars owner Prince Dorian intervened, the
miscreant daemons were swiftly ejected from the
A midst the wreckage of the NAF’s worst teams’ stadium (actually, they were ejected from this
results this week, one result jumps off the page- dimension as well!) and subsequently banned for
the Scarcrag Snivellers improbably respectable 3- eternity from ever attending another Chaos All-
2 loss away to the Chaos All-Stars. When one Stars’ game. With the possession so abruptly
considers that the Snivellers famously eschew all ended, many of the Goblins collapsed where they
secret weapons and Trolls, the question begs to stood, sadly, one of their scorers, Canker
be asked, ‘how in the name of Nuffle did they Beetleplague, was so overcome that he
manage this?’ As always with games involving the spontaneously combusted, bringing the biggest
Chaos All-Stars, the answer is tied to the cheer of the game.
vicissitudes of the Chaos Gods.
The All-Stars quickly scored the winner, and we
I nitially there was no inkling that this game would here at Sports Killerstarted are pleased to report
be anything other than the trashing everyone most of the Goblins returned to their normal
expected. The All-Stars accelerated to a 2-0 lead grubby selves in the hours after the game
and were soon threatening the shutout, when finished, all that is, except for their other scorer
something peculiar happened, the Snivellers Giblet Feeblebrow. According to the team
started playing like men possessed, which, thanks apothecary he has been reduced to a gibbering
to demonic interference, is exactly what they catatonic state, however, head coach Boz
were! Amongst the motley crowd assembled at Blacklung is not worried at all, in fact he believes
the Palace of Eternal Suffering that day, were a this is going to lead to a distinct improvement in
group of Lesser Daemons celebrating one of their Giblet’s play when he takes the field again next
number’s promotion to full Daemonhood. With week!
the game proving a flop (and having had one too
many Bloodweisers) they decided to make things
interesting.

Suddenly, the eleven dishevelled Goblins

currently shambling around the field sprang
upright, their eyes emitting an ethereal red glow
and their normally whining voices transformed
into a terrifying basso profondo roar. The All-Stars
had no idea what was going on as the Goblins,
filled with a supernatural strength and skill, began
rampaging up the field. Within minutes of this
green maelstrom the scores were tied at 2-2, and
the home fans were stunned into silence (as were,
quite frankly, the Scarcrag Snivellers’ coaching
staff).
 That’s just not cricket* (A little known
game snotlings play using the bones
Sports Killerstrated’s found left over in the chaos all - stars
Star Columnist: locker room).
Vainkill managed to lob a pass
to Vilechuck to get us on the
scoreboard, but it looks like once
He’s Been there, Seen it, Varag was out of the game, the boyz
Done It & isn’t Afraid to just decided to act like a bunch of
Let You Know It! Zoggin gobbo’s instead of tough as
old boots orcs. They mustn’t have
known how many gold coins I had
riding on this game. If anyone sees
ogre bookie Hurk Thundercruncher
around, tell him I have gone on a
business trip to Lustria and I’ll be back
next year ha ha ha.
It doesn’t get much better for
those daft lads from Skull Stadium.
The Raiders got beat by some B rate
stunty team. A team so B rated that I
knew nothing about them and
assumed they were just another
humie team until my mate Big Al told
me otherwise that they were dwarfs.
What makes it more intressin’ is that
Zoggin heck. Can’t Zoggin believe it. It
the stunties are who Eye iz up against
never gets much worse than this. Not
next week! They will feel like they have
only have Gorkers crisps canceled the
been punched up proper good after
skaven tail soup flavour crisps, the Eye
getting the green skin special two
‘ave just been beat 3 - 1 by the
weeks in a row!
Reavers! Hopefully this isn’t a sign of
The Eye really need to win next
things to come, but we all reckoned
week, since the league commissioner
this was the most important game of
seems to have given the Reavers a
the regular season, and it's all gone to
super easy schedule with a game
Nuffle’s scruffy underpants.
against the underworld creepers.
Back in my day, some soft
Maybe I should put my gold in that one
humie with his pink worm-like fingers
instead hmm?
would never have been able to throw
That being said, av just got off
a ball like Von Altdorf. That’s coz the
the blower with Gort Sever-Limb, and
squig the ball was made from would
he seems to think it would be a good
have nibbled them off ha ha ha.
idea if “fast’ Ben Jansen became
Da Rock’s rubbish performance
‘slow’ Ben Jansen, so I might have to
today on defense probably didn’t help
have a look in the classified ads and
either. I nearly cried watching all the
see if I can find a wizard going cheap
Reaver’s players run rings around
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha . .
him! And to top it off, Varag gets
injured, and we get a lineman sent off!
 only being 60 paces in that game) seems to
be struggling to recapture his crazy form in
the pro league.
Onlookers we stunned into silence
when Man’s-Hell took to the field SOBER vs
the Lustria Croakers. “I had to have 24
Following the Trials and beers to make sure I was seeing this right”
Tribulations of the Bluchen claimed legendary Berserkers fan Sister
Berserkers’ Sensational New Carol-Anne the Untarnished.
Signing… People think to be a Blood Bowl
The tale of Johnny Man’s-Hell, aka ‘Johnny player you have be committed to the
BloodBowl’ took another strange turn Khornate disciplines of sacrifice sacrifice
when his team (the Bluchen Berserker’s) sacrifice - I’ve never seen a Berserker even
took to the field to play the Lustria look at a playbook, yet Johnny showed up,
Croakers. playbook in hand and hadn’t even had his
Johnny BloodBowl, who wowed contractual pre-match skinful.
crowds playing for Hexas ATM last year in The Berserkers motto of “Win or
the Double B leagues - where he once ran lose, we booze” seems not to be taken up
90 paces for a touchdown (despite the pitch by Man’s Hell!

DiD You Know !

Lower-league team Zeebruck Zebras

have been banned from all
bloodbowl competitions for the next
3 years.
After several seasons of debatable
decisions going in their favour, it's
finally been realised that instead of
official league referees presiding over
their games, it has instead been
Zebra fans who just walk onto the
pitch and call the game.
The NAF are thought to be hurrying
through a rules addendum banning
teams from wearing black and white
striped shirts.
BROKEN NEWS
Live (and very probably dead) legendary news
FFF: Yes.

Pierce d’Organ: You spoke about the

technicalities of a Blood Bowl win with famous
anchor (that’s not a typo-folks) Pierce d’Organ WEREWOLF player Wilhelm Chaney whilst he
gets steaming fresh news straight from the horse’s was still in his wolf form?
mouth that is the NAF. Take it away, Pierce…
FFF: … Yes.
Pierce d’Organ: Before we go back to our regular
Pierce d’Organ: So what’s wolf for “Dog with a
feature “Oh my god my eyes, my precious eyes,
bone” then?
how will I see my children again???” we go live
via Hyper-Cabalvision to our reporter Fran
FFF: (Growling) “Rog rithh a Rone”
Frankofrankerson who is bringing us an exciting
result over at the Westside Werewolves game
Pierce d’Organ: In wolf tongue, how did he say
Fran, what was score?
it?
FFF: After a tough and brutal game, the
10 Seconds of silence.
Werewolves have put down the chew toys, and
made the Bruendar Boys pretty blue!
FFF: Woof.
Pierce d’Organ: What was the viewpoint from
Pierce d’Organ: That actually means “Get me a
the Werewolf team, with the exciting line-up of
taxi, I’m late for my plane”! Did you actually
the Grimjacks, they weren’t expected to win this
interview Chaney?
one!
FFF: … No.
FFF: I spoke directly with Werewolves’ star
player Wilhelm Chaney who said, “It was a
Piers d’Organ: Fran, you don’t deserve to live
tough match, but we were like a dog with a bone
to get the win!”
Pierce d’Organ: You spoke with Chaney?
 PREVIEW NAF WEEK 3
Middenheim Marauders Icecastle Wolves
Albion Wanderers Arctic Cragspiders
Champions of Death Vynheim Valkyries
Underworld Creepers Reikland Reavers
Naggaroth Nightwings Bluchen Berserkers
Gouged Eye Worlds Edge Wanderers
Khain's Killers Chaos All-Stars
Oldheim Ogres Bright Crusaders
Scarcrag Snivellers Darkside Cowboys
Bruendar Grimjacks Stunted Stoutfellows
Dark Renegades Elfheim Eagles
Westside Werewolves Skaven Scramblers
Athelorn Avengers Evil Gits
Greenfield Grasshuggers Everbold Unicorns
Creeveland Crescents Bluebay Crammers
Southstorm Squids Dwarf Warhammerers
Dwarf Giants Lowdown Rats
Asgard Ravens Nurgle's Rotters
Hobgoblin Team Orcland Raiders
Galadrieth Gladiators Lustria Croakers

BIGGEST GAMES: WEEK 3

they will surely be seen as potential winners of
Champions of Death (2-0) v the NFC West.
Vynheim Valkyries (2-0)
Something’s got to give when the unbeaten Khain’s Killers (2-0) v
Vynheim Valkyries travel to the 2-0 Champions of Chaos All-Stars (2-0)
Death. Tomolandry’s team have been playing out Bookies still aren’t taking the 2-0 Khain’s Killers
of their skins (or the would be, if they had any!) seriously, however, the Ephraim Murdernight’s
but the Valkyries are again showing the form that team are relishing the chance to ram their critics
powered them to the Blood Bowl final two words back down their throats when they face
seasons ago. AFC east rivals the Chaos All-Stars. Bookies take
note, they force fed several book makers their
Gouged Eye (1-1) v own books during last time they were written off.
Worlds Edge Wanderers (2-0)
After a deflating loss to the Reavers, the Gouged Dark Renegades (1-1) v
Eye will be out for blood. Under normal Elfheim Eagles (1-1)
circumstances a match against the Worlds Edge The Elfheim Eagles will be looking to beat their
Wanderers would be seen as a nice opportunity rivals in the AFC West Dark Renegades in a must-
to take out their frustrations whilst slaughtering a win game for both teams. Another loss for the
few Dwarfs into the bargain, however, the boys from the Vale will put the title race up for
Wanderers enter the game 2-0, having humbled
grabs.
the Orcland Raiders. Should they scalp the Eye