Sermon 01 11 09

Move? Insights I had at the elder retreat:

Never ask for justice, always ask for mercy. Another way of putting a glorious truth. It’s
grace over works. You may think, “God, I did every thing right, why didn’t you bless
me? I deserve it!!!” Well, you’re asking for justice, when you ought to be asking for
mercy. What if you really got justice? Where would you be then?

Now I was also struggling with the enemy as we prepared to share tonight, and I asked
myself why can’t I get my heart right? Why can’t I . And my solution was, yeah, (I
think this was my solution? I’m too tired ;)) I need to submit this to the Lord, I need to
cast off the enemy, all of my chips are down with God. I need to commit myself.

I also had a sweet time filling myself with God and with humility rather than the drive to
impress or succeed.

Romans 7:15 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but
what I hate I do.
Rom 7:15; the things I do, I hate, but the things I want to do, I don’t. Something along
those lines, right? That’s time management, and something about setting priorities. I
could also work in some of the “service” priorities ect here (stuff we’ll need to do as a
church). Obviously the reason we don’t do what we want is because we are doing other
things to manage pain or disappointment or frustration instead of doing the things we
want. Know the right thing and do it anyway. Let Christ set you free. Emotional aspects
of TM?

Summary: We often fail to make our resolutions because of emotional reasons, not
intellectual. How to be healed of the emotional junk to free us to set our priorities and
then stick to them.

Doing what God tells you to. We so often fail to do that. One more minute on the
computer, Lord.

What are some of your new year’s resolutions? Lose weight, exercise, read the Bible,
read more in general, watch less TV, spend more time with the family and less at work,
be nicer to my pastor, learn Spanish.

Our verse pretty much sums up the struggle with new year’s resolutions. How many of
you have at least one resolution that is the same as a previous year? How about the same
as last years? How many of you have the same list of resolutions you use every year ;)?
We try to do what is good and what is right, but we fail. We know the right things to do,
we frequently know (or think we know) exactly what will turn our lives around for the
better, but for some reason we can’t get ourselves to do it.

Instead of learning Chinese, we watch the news about China. Instead of helping out more
at Faith Café, we surf the internet and bemoan the state of things. Instead of skipping
dessert, we skip exercising.

Why is that? Why can’t we do the things we want to do, but instead do the things we
hate?

Before we answer that question, I think we have to ask why we do things we supposedly
don’t want to do. I mean, if you’re doing it, you must be getting something out of it,
right? You don’t beat your head against a wall unless you enjoy it in some way ;). Even
smoking has got it’s ups.

There are 2 big reasons why we do things we (tell ourselves we) don’t want to do. First,
we do dumb stuff as a coping mechanism (explain what that is: basically a coping
mechanism is something that you do to make yourself feel better, that is, to help you cope
with any manner of negative feelings). We eat to cheer ourselves up. We watch too
much TV to lower our stress levels or take our minds off of some emotional issue (if
you’re a guy; girls talk it out I think). Some folks drink or do drugs to calm their inner
turmoil. In other words, we do the stuff we don’t want to do because we’re hurt, and
looking for healing. Illustration or story? Jeremie? Jeremie playing StarCraft instead of
studying for his final as an EX? That’s hopelessness and coping working together I
think.

The only way to counteract this is to let God heal you. The fact that you’re coping is
evidence that you are yet unhealed of your stuff. This isn’t a judgement any more than
having a broken bone makes you a bad person. You just need to give your injury the
proper treatment if you want it to heal.

So what are some of our injuries and how are they healed? Some of our stuff is from as
far back as childhood. Something a friend said to you still hurts, or something a parent or
teacher did. This can be the deepest and hardest to fix, because the chances of you still
being aware of that as the source of your pain are pretty slim. Other things are much
easier to figure out: you’re worried about the economy so you read the news all the time,
or you’re mad at your spouse or one of your kids so have to watch 2 hours of TV and eat
a tin of brownies instead of working on the things you had decided ahead of time to do.

How are we healed of our pain? Of course the answer if Jesus Christ. …
Second, we do things we tell ourselves we don’t want to do because we deep down think
that we’ll be happier if we do those things. In other words, we don’t really believe our
reasons, and are in fact doing exactly what we want to do. For instance, if I’m on a diet,
but still let myself put ice cream in the fridge, deep down I think that eating that ice
cream is going to on balance make me happier than being 5 lbs thinner. But that’s not
necessarily so. The immediate gains from ice cream might really be outweighed (hehe)
by gains like not having to buy new clothes, living longer, and feeling better. But we’re
not thinking about that when we buy the ice cream; we’re thinking that going on a diet is
hard, that I’m already married or that it won’t really make that big of a difference. I’ll
make it up by taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work, or going on a walk.

How do we counteract this? The problem isn’t that we’re not doing what we want, the
problem is that we’re doing exactly what we want! The solution is to put what we really
want into writing, with reasons, so that we change what we really want to conform to
what we say or think we want. That way you can start doing what you want, what you
really want, like going on that diet. Of course, you may find that you don’t mind
weighing 5 pounds more, and then you’ll be a lot happier at least since you won’t feel
guilty about eating ice cream. (which you’re going to do anyway if that’s what you deep
down think is going to make you a happier person)

Coping mechanisms. Healing by the Lord.

You can’t make yourself feel better or make yourself a better person by what you do (that
usually leads to a disdainful personality?), you have to start with what God has done for
you in Jesus Christ.

Application is going to have to be “how to receive emotional healing from God”. That’s
not at all an easy subject. First, you have to trust him as Lord and Savior (both, I’d say).
Then you have to have some good Christian friends (optional? Depends on your
wounding?). You also have to pray and ask God for healing (I asked for years until it
happened… part of the problem though is that I asked then failed to be obedient in the
things that he was asking of me in return. Circumstances eventually brought me to a
place of greater obedience, but it was after many painful years).

What’s worked for me and for Cathy? The specific wound God heals (for me friends and
being made fun of, and for Cathy Paul and friends.) by getting you to face difficult
circumstances again and again (as I did with social phobia).

Think more about why I can’t do what I want to do with IM. Part of the application
might be to clarify your goals and priorities. In other words, make it so clear to yourself
what you really want to be doing, the benefits for doing so and the costs for not doing so,
that you don’t forget about it when faced with a new episode of American Idol. (this
should be a main focus of the sermon).

I can’t do it because I’m comfortable where I am, I don’t see the immediate need (like me
trying to learn Chinese), I’m afraid of success (will that take more time from me?), I’m
afraid of failure (not really, but some are), I think I’d rather be doing something else (the
devil puts thoughts in my head like “watch TV” “play your game, that will make you
happy” things like that. We think something else will make us happier, basically).
Sometimes it’s because we deep-down believe it just ain’t gonna happen. God would
never bless me in that way, so why bother. I’ll never be pretty, or I’ll never be free of
this additicion, or I’ll never be financially free. That’s something we’ve got to fight and
change; you are God’s child and he has amazing plans for you, if you will believe.

There’s that hole we’re trying to fill. What’s up with that?

Why can’t we do what we want to do? Reasons: Coping with pain, chasing after pleasure
(we think we’ll be happier goofing off). Being healed of your pain opens you to pursue
the things you want like nothing else. Pain can be a great motivator, but it just as easily
cripples. Peace from Jesus frees you to do what you want. (Now, surely Paul had peace
from Jesus, yet he was not able to do as he wanted, at least to some extent. However, I’d
argue that as one of the most effective people who ever lived, he was benefiting from this
more often than not.)

Application:
So 1, let God heal you of your stuff.
2, figure out your priorities and know why they are what they are. Keep them in front of
you.

So the flow goes like this: NYR talk

The fact we seldom do them
The reasons for this: coping with pain, chasing pleasure
How to stop or fix it. Heal the pain, find a greater pleasure (delayed gratification).

How to let God heal your pain:

1.

How to find a greater pleasure to chase:

1. Your heart already whispers these things to you, and you find them in your NYRs.
These are the long term, hard but fulfilling things of life. They require persistence and
delayed gratification. You need something to motivate yourself to attain them, as well as
something to remind yourself of their importance. Write out the reasons why and the
reasons

What about the other end of it? Why do we not do the things we want to do? There are
many reasons: weakness, forgetfulness, sin, but the one I want to talk to you about is
stress.

Ok, I think the insight was: I resist doing what I want to do when I’ve got too much other
stuff on my plate. I think that this is pretty much the root cause behind a lot of my own
struggles, as well as those for much of America. This also is a great set up for my next
sermon. The solution is of course to ruthlessly knock the unimportant things off your
plate. That or come up with an extra two days.

I think this is a very subtle thing. We resist but we don’t know why. We want to get
started reading the Bible, but it’s just such a heavy book! That thing is BIG! We make
our tasks heavier than they need to be. Isn’t our Jesus the one who said, “Let all who are
weary and heavy laden come to me, and I will give them rest?”

Sometimes it’s because we deep-down believe it just ain’t gonna happen. God would
never bless me in that way, so why bother. I’ll never be pretty, or I’ll never be free of
this additicion, or I’ll never be financially free. That’s something we’ve got to fight and
change; you are God’s child and he has amazing plans for you, if you will believe.

How to find a greater pleasure to chase:

1. Your heart already whispers these things to you, and you find them in your NYRs.
These are the long term, hard but fulfilling things of life. They require persistence and
delayed gratification. You need something to motivate yourself to attain them, as well as
something to remind yourself of their importance. Write out the reasons why and the
reasons
Outline:
Intro: New Year’s Resolutions
Why we fail:
1: Coping Mechanisms take over because we’re in pain:
God’s Healing cures this problem: Standard stuff
2: We think we’ll be happier: so we do what we want but are ashamed to
want
Knowing and setting your Priorities cures this problem: write them out
3: Why we don’t do the good things: stress
Give your stress over to Jesus: find rest and you’ll get the important things
done
Challenge: write out your priorities.
 New Year’s Resolutions: Priorities

Intro:
Our verse pretty much sums up the outcome of most New Year’s resolutions.

How many of you have at least one resolution that is the same as a previous year? How
about the same as last years? How many of you have the same list of resolutions you use
every year ;)? We try to do what is good and what is right, but we fail. Worse yet, most
of us try and fail every year. We know the right things to do, we frequently know (or
think we know) exactly what will turn our lives around for the better, but for some reason
we can’t get ourselves to do it.

China will obviously be the next global power. I resolve to learn Chinese, instead I eat it.
In these tough times, ministries like Faith Café need more help than ever. Instead of
practicing Christian service at Faith Café, I practice faith that the Café will continue just
fine without me.

Why We Fail
Why is that? Why can’t we do the things we want to do, but instead beat ourselves up for
not doing the things that we think are important? Anyone start feeling guilty around Feb
1 when the progress you were making on your goals starts to slide? Why do we do the
things we hate instead of the things we want to do?

Before we answer that question, I think we have to ask why we do things we supposedly
don’t want to do. I mean, if you’re doing it, you must be getting something out of it,
right? You don’t beat your head against a wall unless you enjoy it in some way ;). Even
smoking has got its ups.

1: Coping Mechanisms take over because we’re in pain

There are 2 big reasons why we do things we (tell ourselves we) don’t want to do. First,
we do dumb stuff as a coping mechanism. A coping mechanism is something that you do
to make yourself feel better, that is, to help you cope with any manner of negative
feelings. Ever go out to eat when you’re feeling down? Ever eat a carton of ice cream
when you’re feeling down? That’s a coping mechanism. Ever been so stressed from
work, all you could do was watch TV? Or so stressed from an argument with your spuse
that all you could do is watch TV? Or avoiding the feelings you have about something
you’re procrastinating, so you clean the house or do everything else you your list but the
one thing you’re avoiding or watch TV;)? That’s a coping mechanism. Drinking and
drugs are a coping mechanism. These are things we do when we’re hurt and trying to
feel better.

In other words, a lot of them time we do the stuff we don’t want to do because we’re hurt,
and looking for healing. Illustration: A friend of mine from college emailed me
yesterday. We graduated together, but I remember that we almost didn’t. During our last
semester, during the last week of exams, I found Jeremie banging his head against the
front door. “Why are you doing that?” Because he was about to fail a class he needed to
graduate. We’re a lot like my friend. He had been playing video games instead of
studying for his final for most of the previous week, and when the time came I think he
just didn’t show. The professor had mercy and gave him a D, but we do anything we can,
even bang our heads against a door, to stop the pain, the anxiety, the fear. “I do not
understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

The only way to counteract this is to let God heal you. That’s the proper way, the main
way God wants to use for his children, to cope with the things that bother us. When
you’re looking to God to heal you, to give you peace, you not looking to TV, ice cream
or beer.

The fact that you’re coping is evidence that you are yet unhealed of your stuff. This isn’t
a judgment any more than having a broken bone makes you a bad person. You just need
to give your injury the proper treatment if you want it to heal. TV can’t really heal your
anxiety, it will just help you forget about it. Food can’t really cure your loniness or
depression or the myriad other things we use it to medicate. God can. You know he can.
That’s why you’re in church today.

God’s Healing cures this problem:

How does this work? How are you actually healed by Jesus Christ? More ways than I
can cover in 25 minutes, but I’ll give a couple of examples of how this works in real life.
If you’re feeling anxious about something, instead of watching 2 hours of TV or reading
a book when you really ought to be spending time with your family or working, pray
about it until you feel better. Remind yourself of Rom 8:28. Remind yourself of the
many great and precious promises that are yours in the Bible. Have a real spiritual
encounter with the Living God, and reach out to him until he fills you up with love and
peace and strength and takes all your anxiety away. If you’re feeling fear, then remember
that all of your enemies are already defeated in Christ. Death is dead. What can hurt you
now? If you’re feeling pain, curl up in his arms. If you don’t know how yet, ask a friend
to teach you.

2: We think we’ll be happier

Second, we do things we tell ourselves we don’t want to do because we deep down think
that we’ll be happier if we do those things. In other words, we don’t really believe our
reasons, and are in fact doing exactly what we want to do. For instance, if I’m on a diet,
but I buy ice cream and put it in the fridge, deep down I think that eating that ice cream is
going to on balance make me happier than being 5 lbs thinner. No matter how I may
rationalize it, that’s what I really think in the part of me that’s making the decisions,
because that’s what I did. But I may be wrong about how happy that ice cream is going
to make me. The immediate gains from ice cream might really be outweighed (hehe) by
gains like not having to buy new clothes, living longer, and feeling better. But we’re not
thinking about that when we buy the ice cream; we’re thinking that going on a diet is
hard, that I’m already married, what’s my wife going to do, divorce me because I gained
5 pounds? It won’t really make that big of a difference. I’ll make it up by taking the
stairs instead of the elevator at work, or going on a walk.
Knowing and setting your Priorities cures this problem:
How do we counteract this? The problem isn’t that we’re not doing what we want, the
problem is that we’re doing exactly what we want! The solution is to put what we really
want into writing, with reasons, so that we change what we really want to conform to
what we say or think we want. In other words, make it so clear to yourself what you
really want to be doing, the enormous overwhelming benefits for doing so and the
horrifying costs for not doing so, that you don’t forget about it when faced with Rocky
Double Choclate Fudge.

That way you can start doing what you want, what you really want, like going on that
diet, or learning Chinese or spending more time with your family. Of course, you may
find that you don’t mind weighing 5 pounds more, that the Chinese aren’t as scary as
missing Gray’s Anatomy, or that your family is already sick of you. That’s ok. At least
then you’ll be a lot happier and won’t feel guilty for not doing something you didn’t need
to do in the first place. Of course, what I would like to see are your real priorities going
down on that paper: increasing time spent in prayer, service to the church, and forming
your character into the image of Christ.

3: Why we don’t do the good things

What about the other end of it? Why do we not do the things we want to do? There are
many reasons: weakness, forgetfulness, sin, but the one I want to talk to you about is
stress.

We resist doing what we want to do when we’ve got too much other stuff on our plate.
The very best of us will fail to follow our priorities then. I think that this is pretty much
the root cause behind a lot of my own struggles, as well as those for much of America.
The solution is of course to ruthlessly knock the unimportant things off your plate.

I think this is a very subtle thing. We resist but we don’t know why. We want to get
started reading the Bible, but it’s just such a heavy book! That thing is BIG! We make
our tasks heavier than they need to be. Isn’t our Jesus the one who said, “Let all who are
weary and heavy laden come to me, and I will give them rest?”

Give your stress over to Jesus

How do we fix this problem? How do we reduce the amount of stress in our lives? Find
3 extra days a week. Failing that, give what’s stressing us over to God. That’s what
really works for me. If I don’t have time to prepare, or if I think something is so
important that it’s going to make or break me, I just have to give it over to God. The
truth is nothing is so bad it’s going to keep you out of God’s love (neither famine nor
peril nor sword, nor things present nor things to come…), and there’s no mistake so sour
he can’t somehow make lemonade out of your lemons.

Challenge:
Write out your priorities when you get home, and your reasons behind them. It will take
5 minutes and might just change 2009 and every following year for you (this is an
important challenge).