His Divine Grace A.C.

Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

Founder-Ācārya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness
 Dedicated to
His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
Founder-Ācārya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness

Who personally cultivated and inspired the younger generations of the

world and saw hope and potential in them. He strongly believed that ISKCON’s
children are the future not only for our movement but for the whole world.
This book is also dedicated to all the parents, teachers and devotees who
have served children in the past; to those who are serving in the present and
to those in the future who will continue sincerely the endeavor to fulfill Śrīla
Prabhupāda’s desire and making his dream a reality.

(Śrīla Prabhupāda’s letter to Dayānanda and Nandarāṇī – Calcutta 27 January, 1973)

 Acknowledgements Content
We would like to thank His Holiness Jayapatākā Swami, the Congregational
Development (CDM) Minister who, as a powerhouse full of ideas, is constantly Chapter 1
requesting the CDM staff to offer different services and support to the Fundamental Principles of Parenting and Teaching......................15
congregations in ISKCON. It was due to his encouragement and direction that Parenting as Service to God. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
the ministry started a new section for Children Services. The Eleven Commandments of Parenting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
We are also extremely grateful to all the authors who kindly gave us
Definition of a Teacher. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
permission to use their articles in this book; Her Grace Urmilā Devī Dāsī; Her
Specific Teaching Methods. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Grace Kṛṣṇānandinī Devī Dāsī; His Grace Śrī Rāma Dāsa; Her Grace Aruddha
Devī Dāsī; and Her Grace Tāriṇī Rādhā Devī Dāsī. Nourishment for Parents and Teachers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
Various devotees deserve recognition in contributing to the production of
this book: Chapter 2
●● Seva Svarūpa Dāsa, CDM General Manager, for his dedication to this service;
Imparting Values of Character Development................................... 53
●● Ikṣvāku Dāsa for overseeing the publication, editing and proofreading; Divine Consciousness of a Previous Life. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
●● Manjulālī Mañjarī Sevinī Devī Dāsī for managing the CDM office; Example Is Better Than Precept. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
●● Rasarāṇī Priyā Devī Dāsī for proofreading and editing; Your Kids and the One-eyed Guru. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63
●● Raivata Dāsa for the design and layout; and
The Magic Wand . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
●● Jāhnavā Dāsī for her assistance in research.
Test of Education. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
What’s a Child to Read?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81

Chapter 3
Design by Raivata Dāsa Building a Strong Krishna Conscious Foundation....................... 85
Children and the Holy Name. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86
Morning Program. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
Deity Worship for Children. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
[email protected]
www.raivata.pro Ślokas—Why Memorize Them?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
 Content Our Future Hope

The Power of Association. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100 Children as a Blessing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162

Educating Children in Krishna Consciousness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163
Chapter 4 Example and Association. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168
Encouraging Children in Krishna Consciousness...................... 105
Effective Discipline. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 170
The Playful Mood. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106
Nursery Nectar. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 Resource Guide.....................................................................................................173
Spiritual Holidays. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116 Twenty-five Krishna Conscious Activities.......................................... 174
Higher Vocations. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119 Congregational Development Ministry
Products in Relation with Children..........................................................178
Chapter 5 More Products of the Congregational
Art of Disciplining................................................................................................123 Development Ministry.......................................................................................181
Why Children Misbehave. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124 Article Sources.......................................................................................................187
Motivation for Obedience. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127
Biographies of Authors................................................................................... 189
Discipline at Home. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130
Just Say No to No . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
Not Allowed. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137

Chapter 6
Strictness and Leniency: Finding the Balance................................143
Four Stages of Childhood. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144
Determining Standards. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148
Is Experience the Best Teacher? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150
How to Love Children. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153
What Type of Parent Are You? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155

Appendix
Quotes from Śrila Prabhupada...................................................................161
Children are Our Future Hope. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161

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 Preface
It is very encouraging to know how Śrīla Prabhupāda had so much hope in
the future generations of children and young devotees of our movement. The
goal of ISKCON’s Congregational Development Ministry (CDM) is to support
families, parents, teachers and the children themselves to develop their Kṛṣṇa
consciousness for which we created a “Children Services” department in our
office and wanted to offer some resources for those engaged in this area of
service. Although I have not written any of these articles, it is pleasurable to see
that there is so much to draw from and address the need of the many children
–and their carers- in our society.
Śrīla Prabhupāda repeatedly expressed his desire that our children be
spiritually trained from a young age so they can grow into devotees of Kṛṣṇa.
He saw the children of ISKCON as the future hope, not only of our movement
but of the whole world. That is the reason why we chose the name, “Our Future
Hope” for this book. We pray that this endeavor helps in some way to have his
desire fulfilled.
Parents, teachers, managers, assistants, etc. need to be appreciated for
their invaluable service provided to children. They all are crucial parts of the
support system and can ensure that children have a happy Kṛṣṇa conscious life
in every sense. Śrīla Prabhupāda personally provided encouragement, facilities,
guidance, and appreciated all those who serve this aspect of his mission; the
training of Vaiṣṇava children. We want to follow his footsteps.
This book, is a compendium of several articles from renowned ISKCON
teachers, who have devoted decades of their lives to support the learning
and development of devotee children. We wanted to propagate some of the
invaluable wisdom and experiences they gained while guiding students in their
teaching services. Thus we sought their permission to share the realizations
they obtained throughout their years of service.
 Preface

Introduction
Our Future Hope, is intended for anyone working with or performing services
related to children with the intention of enhancing their Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
It is not only for parents and teachers, but for anyone that in any capacity,
formally or informally, interacts with children. Although some of the articles
may be specifically relevant to parents or educators, the principles derived from Creating a favorable environment for effectively raising and guiding children
them are a valuable resource for those interested in the future of our movement. in Kṛṣṇa Consciousness is a continuous endeavor and a great opportunity to
“That is the success of the movement, because [the] younger generation, they please Śrīla Prabhupāda. By helping these little Vaiṣṇavas to start, continue
are the flowers, the future hope of the country, of the world. If they take this or complete their journey back home, back to Kṛṣṇa, we are contributing for a
movement seriously then the whole world will be happy.” better future for everyone in this world.
Since the beginning of our movement, children have been an important
(Śrīla Prabhupāda Lecture – 20 July, 1972).
focus of Śrīla Prabhupāda in developing ISKCON and preparing it for the
You could read the different chapters in sequence or select those that appeal generations to come. He instructed us to create facilities for children to be
to you the most. Whichever way you read it, we are sure that you will find the educated and trained in Kṛṣṇa Consciousness so they could become wholesome
tools, techniques, principles and guidelines in this book to be very useful for devotees representing Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s saṅkīrtana movement. Many
your service for the children of our ISKCON movement, our future hope. initiatives around the world have been started for this purpose. However, since
I am grateful to the authors of these articles for their long-standing selfless the children from the past are the adults of the present and now more and more
service and for allowing us to share their realizations with others. At the same children are there to be assisted; we need to continue pushing for this effort of
time I would like to thank the ISKCON Congregational Development Ministry supporting their spiritual growth.
staff and particularly Gaurāṅgī Gāndharvikā Devī Dāsī for working on this Children require very specific support in developing their Kṛṣṇa
book to encourage devotees to promote Child Services in ISKCON. consciousness in the form of training and education. This calls for our time; skills,
Yours in service of Śrīla Prabhupāda, energy and love. By providing our children with a Kṛṣṇa Conscious upbringing,
Jayapatākā Swami parents, teachers and others, will not only create a valuable foundation to a
Co-Minister ISKCON Congregational Development Ministry child’s life but will also help influence each of our communities and the whole
Central Office – Śrīdhāma Māyāpur of ISKCON. This in turn will have a tremendous effect in the wider society as
a tangible example of the highest form of spiritual education and a unifying
approach to having a better world; a God-conscious world.
The endeavor to support our little ones in their spiritual growth will also
help us to advance and to set a practical precedent in their learning from an
early age. Accepting that our ultimate goal in life is to develop love for Kṛṣṇa
and go back to Godhead, whoever helps a child toward this path, increases
their chances to perfect their lives for this valuable service, as a parent, teacher,

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 Introduction Our Future Hope

mentor or otherwise. We sincerely wish that this book will help you in your service to the children
Śrīla Prabhupāda has given so much importance in training children from of our movement, and in that way Śrīla Prabhupāda, the Vaiṣṇavas and Lord
the very beginning by molding their lives in such a way that they will be capable Kṛṣṇa are pleased.
to always serve Kṛṣṇa. He states, Your servants at,
ISKCON Congregational Development Ministry – Children Services
“If children receive these impressions (saṁskāras) from their childhood, these
Central Office – Śrīdhām Māyāpur
will remain in their minds and hearts, and help them in their advancement in
Kṛṣṇa consciousness throughout their lives. Mahārāja Prahlāda also advised
that such impressions of a godly relation must be impregnated from the beginning
of childhood, otherwise one may miss the opportunity of the human form of life,
which is very valuable although it is temporary like others.”
(Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 1.12.30, purport)

Children are normally innocent in nature and less contaminated by the

material modes thus making it easier for them to progress and be engaged
in devotional service. Naturally at such young age, due to their innocence,
they have a tendency to develop faith and devotion. If these propensities for
serving Kṛṣṇa are further encouraged, they will rapidly advance in their path of
perfection.
Although –as a movement- we have just reached fifty years of age since
His Divine Grace registered his ISKCON society, still there is so much to do.
The purpose of putting together this book, “Our Future Hope”, is to encourage
parents, educators, leaders and the devotees in general, to continue creating a
situation where our children can thrive as wonderful devotees or “Vaikuṇṭha
children as Śrīla Prabhupāda called them.

“These children are given to us by Kṛṣṇa, they are Vaiṣṇavas and we must
be very careful to protect them. These are not ordinary children, they are
Vaikuṇṭha children, and we are very fortunate we can give them the chance to
advance further in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. That is a very great responsibility, do
not neglect it or be confused. Your duty is very clear.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Arundhatī—30 July, 1972)

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 Chapter

Fundamental Principles of
Parenting and Teaching
 1 - Fundamental Principles of Parenting and Teaching Our Future Hope

Parenting as Service to God God as other forms of worship.

While raising children today is difficult, raising God-conscious children
By Kṛṣṇānandinī Devī Dāsī is even more so. Just to provide food, clothing, shelter, education, and other
physical and mental needs requires great endeavor. Add the diligence and
support needed for the children’s spiritual training, and parenting is an
Fulfilling Our Duty as Parents Requires Taking Care of
awesome responsibility. But by accepting the commitment to act as parental
Our Children’s Spiritual Needs.
stewards on God’s behalf, dedicated, spiritually inclined parents develop good
As the mother of ten children, I am often asked, “How do you fulfill your qualities. From within the heart, the Lord gives sincere, committed parents the
family responsibilities and still make progress in spiritual life? When do you intelligence and direction to know what to do and to whom to turn for help.
find the time to serve God?” From without, He gives guidance through the guru, scriptures, grandparents,
“It’s a matter of vision,” I reply. “I realize that I can serve God by caring for and other experienced parents and spiritually advanced persons.
my children and husband with love and respect.” All over the world, most religiously or spiritually inclined people are married
Being a mother and wife is my duty, and I don’t distinguish it from my or will get married. The majority of these couples will have children. And of
service to God. It is my service to God. these, many parents seek ways to raise children who are moral, spiritually
Central to that service is training my children in service to God. How does conscious contributors to the communities in which they live.
one serve God? The scripture Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam lists nine principal ways,
beginning with hearing about, praising, and remembering God, and progressing The Long Road to Adulthood
to deeper levels of devotional service. Unlike animals, the young in human society don’t grow up quickly to take
Spiritual training for children should begin early, and the Vedic scriptures their place as mature or self-sustaining members of their community. Human
prescribe a rite (garbhādhāna-saṁskāra) that creates a spiritual environment at children have a variety of long-term needs that must be addressed: physical,
the time of conception. When I was pregnant with each of my children, I read emotional, mental, and spiritual. They need love, food, shelter, education,
scriptures, listened to spiritual music and lectures, chanted sacred mantras, ate clothing, recreation, protection, good association, and so on. As dedicated
food prepared for and offered to the Lord, prayed (a lot), and associated with caretakers, spiritually conscious parents must make every effort to provide for
like-minded spiritual seekers. When I was giving birth, devotional music played these needs in healthy ways. This is an important part of spiritual life: caring for
quietly in the background. As the children grew, we held daily classes on the or serving the Lord’s servants. It cannot be neglected.
Bhagavad-gītā and Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. I chose to home-school my children The best parents are good role models for their children. They demonstrate
until they reached the ninth or tenth grade. I wanted to ensure that, in addition the spiritual way of life through words and deeds, understanding that children
to a sound academic background, they would have a strong spiritual foundation. learn what they live. They seek out other parents or families trying to raise God-
Rather than seeing my children as impediments to my spiritual life, I prayed to conscious children. In this way, they create a much-needed support system.
be able to view them as devotees of the Lord and to understand that by raising Truly “It takes a village to raise a child.” (Ancient African Proverb)
them with love, in a spiritual atmosphere, I was doing a service as pleasing to Sometimes it is necessary to get parenting skills so that we can communicate

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 1 - Fundamental Principles of Parenting and Teaching Our Future Hope

better, resolve conflicts, set goals, and administer discipline in loving ways to Moving on Up
our children. Obtaining such skills is also devotional service because it helps us
In Vedic culture, life is divided into four stages, called āśramas, or «places
carry out our parenting duties. of spiritual growth»: (1) student life, (2) married or family life, (3) retired life,
God-conscious parenting requires sacrifice. But it is a sacrifice of love that, and (4) renounced life. Each stage is meant for growth and development and
like other kinds of devotional service, can be quite rewarding. Raising caring, requires the fulfillment of certain duties. Being a God-conscious parent means
spiritually conscious children is a grand and valuable goal, and to reach it takes that you are in an āśrama (the gṛhastha āśrama) that is part of a spiritually
a grand commitment. progressive system. The gṛhastha āśrama is meant for living a wholesome,
The Wonderful Art of Dovetailing loving, regulated family life.
Since most people marry and have children, the gṛhastha āśrama is an
In the Bhagavad-gītā Lord Kṛṣṇa tells Arjuna,
example to others and offers hope. One who sincerely accepts the service of
“All that you do, all that you eat, all that you offer and give away, as well as becoming a Kṛṣṇa conscious parent is empowered by God Himself to do this
all austerities that you may perform, should be done as an offering unto Me.” service. God-conscious parenting is a vital duty very much appreciated by the
Lord.
(Bhagavad-gītā . 9.27)
The Vedic scriptures tell us that we should not become parents unless we
The secret weapon of parenting is to dovetail everything in Kṛṣṇa’s service. can bring our children to a higher stage of spiritual life and save them from the
For example, Kṛṣṇa declares in Bhagavad-gītā “I am the seed-giving father.” cycle of birth and death. Prospective parents should realize their tremendous
(Bhagavad-gītā . 14.4) So, as a parent changing your baby’s diaper, you can responsibility.
remind yourself, “I am changing the diaper of one of God’s children.” When, “You must produce nice children,” Śrīla Prabhupāda said:
despite fatigue, you read to or play with your son or daughter, remind yourself “For that purpose, sex life is allowed. And especially in this age, at the present
that the Lord is noting how you sacrifice to bring joy to one of His children. moment, if you can produce children to become Kṛṣṇa conscious, that will be a
When you chide your teenage child, do so with the sense that you are caring great service to the Lord.”
for a living being who belongs to someone much greater than you. With your
(Hare Kṛṣṇa Festival Address—San Diego, Balboa Park Bowl, 1st July, 1972)
spouse, if possible, take the time to prayerfully create some family rules, rituals,
and routines that are fair, hopeful, and consistent and that contribute to each Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura and his wife, Śrīmatī Bhagavatī Devī, were
child’s growth and development. an ideal couple who raised ten children in late nineteenth-century India. He
Parents who want to raise kind, considerate, spiritually aware children must was a great spiritual master and government official who perfectly balanced
provide more than just physical maintenance for their offspring. Dovetailing his parental, spiritual, and administrative duties. He rightly appreciated that he
family life to Kṛṣṇa distinguishes God-conscious parents (gṛhastha) from those was but a steward for Lord Kṛṣṇa’s children and property. A masterful poet and
who don’t (gṛhamedhī). To paraphrase Lord Kṛṣṇa: “Offer the austerities of songwriter, he wrote in one song, “My life, my wife, my family—all belong to
your parenting duties as an offering to Me.” you, O Lord.”

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 1 - Fundamental Principles of Parenting and Teaching Our Future Hope

Results Are up to the Lord The Eleven Commandments of Parenting

Our duty as parents is to be good examples in a God-conscious setting.
By Kṛṣṇānandinī Devī Dāsī
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our children will cause us problems.
Therefore, we must remember, as the Bhagavad-gītā teaches us, that we can The Eleven Commandments of Parenting are gleaned from years of study,
only do our duty and rely on the Lord for the results. practice, prayer and experience. It is a part of our commitment to share principles
Too many children grow up to be crude, harsh, immoral, undisciplined, to assist parents in raising well-rounded and happy Kṛṣṇa conscious children.
or criminal. Psychologically and spiritually unhealthy children grow up to be
unhealthy adults. You’ve got to unpack each commandment.
“Hurt people hurt people,” says actor and educator Bill Cosby. Each of the 11 commandments, when practically applied, will fortify any
In other words, people who have been abused or misused will often become parent with skills and insight to accomplish the task of raising a Kṛṣṇa conscious,
abusers or exploiters themselves. Our world cries out for children who are productive child. These commandments include niyamas (things we should do)
truthful, compassionate, self-disciplined, clean in mind and body, and spiritually and yamas (things we should not do). Each commandment is a sutra. That is,
inclined. They will carry these qualities into adulthood. each is a principle or a code, to be unpacked for deeper consideration. We have
Śrī Caitanya Māhaprabhu predicted a golden age of God consciousness begun the process and invite you to go further.
within the present age of quarrel and deceit. That will require more and more
God-conscious children and adults to populate the earth. 1. Thou Shalt Love Thy Children Unconditionally.
“Good population in human society,” Śrīla Prabhupāda writes, “is the basic “Forcing will not make me agree. But if there is love, oh, I shall gladly do
principle for peace, prosperity, and spiritual progress in life.”(Bhagavad-gītā . it. That is bhakti that is Kṛṣṇa consciousness:’ (Śrīla Prabhupāda, letter to Rūpa
1.40, purport) Vilās, 18 November, 1972)
From the moment your new baby is put in your arms you feel a heavy
responsibility to care for and raise this baby with a loving heart. Growing up,
your child will make mistakes and say or do things not to your liking, AND, you
will do or say things that your child may not like and you will make mistakes.

What is unconditional love?

Unconditional love means that you choose to love your children no matter
what they do or don’t do or what they believe or don’t believe. You recognize
each child is a part and parcel of Kṛṣṇa entrusted to your care. You always see
them as valuable and worthy of your love. Unconditional love builds them up,
makes them know they are capable and lovable, gives them hope and inspires
them to fulfill their God-given potential.

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 1 - Fundamental Principles of Parenting and Teaching Our Future Hope

Unconditional love is not always easy. families and give quality time to their service.

As a person you need and want some things and when your children fail to Job description for Vaiṣṇava parents.
understand this they may seem less worthy of your love. But a love based on ●● Worship the Deity.
what someone does or doesn’t do, really isn’t love. It may be attachment, it may ●● Impart spiritual values and morals to your children and family.
be infatuation, but it surely isn’t love. ●● Plan and implement family activities that are culturally uplifting, educational,
The younger a child is the more helpless and dependent on you he is. You spiritual and recreational.
are duty bound to provide for his physical, mental, emotional and spiritual ●● Provide finances and other resources (food, health, transportation, etc.).
needs to the best of your abilities. ●● Coordinate regular family meetings.
●● The ancient Vedic scriptures give us the most important duty:
But unconditional love is a commitment that parents make.
A parent’s love is the closest thing to Lord Kṛṣṇa’s love. He loves each one “No one should become a mother or father unless they can save their dependents
of us unconditionally, without consideration. It’s imperative that we, Vaiṣṇava from repeated birth and death.”
parents, follow His example. Our children won’t always act like we think they Understand the principles by which your family will live because they
ought to; often they will disappoint us. Still, we should love them because love reflect your values and goals. And parents, you are the harbingers of principles
is the parental umbrella which can cover every child to give them the room to for your children! If you don’t establish principles for them, others will. Often
grow, to transform and be the person they were designed to be. these other sources are not reliable or trustworthy.

Point to remember: Some principles to teach and model.

Children that grow up in an atmosphere of unconditional love Truthfulness, cleanliness, self-discipline, compassion, and respect for elders
generally grow up with a healthy sense of self and see themselves as should be emphasized. Sinful activities like gambling, that destroy truthfulness
lovable and capable. should be clearly identified. From the time they are little teach principles
and the consequences of not following them. For example, just as gambling
2. Thou Shalt Make Your Family Life a Priority, with annihilates truthfulness, intoxication destroys austerity, illicit sex does away
Service to Krishna and Adherence to Spiritual with cleanliness and meat-eating takes away compassion and austerity (self-
Principles as Your Center. discipline).
All children belong to Kṛṣṇa and He announces this in the Bhagavad-gītā, “I Scenario 1
am the seed giving father of all living entities.” (Bhagavad-gītā 14.4 translation) Once, two of our children were at a mall with their uncle and cousin. One of
When you choose to have children, you become a steward for Kṛṣṇa’s children. the children noticed a roll of money secured with a rubber band lying in a corner
See this as your very important devotional service. It’s your job, your business. of a large marble floor. The children picked it up and discovered that it was $185.
Both parents should see themselves as the directors or co-directors of their Of course they were excited at the prospect of dividing the money between them.

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Nevertheless, their uncle reminded them that the money belonged to someone The difference between discipline and punishment.
and they should turn it in to the security office. The mall administrator, surprised Discipline means to teach “disciples” to obey rules and regulations for their
by their honesty, took their telephone number, informing them that if no one higher benefit. Punishment on the other hand, connotes a penalty for doing
claimed the money in 6 weeks, it was mall policy to give unclaimed money to something wrong; it usually indicates rough treatment or “heaviness” in dealing
the finders. No one claimed the money after 6 weeks and they gratefully split with someone.
$185 in three ways. Because their uncle demonstrated principled behavior, the Discipline comes from the root word “disciple” or one who follows the
children learned a valuable lesson from this example. instructions of a teacher/guru. View your children as your disciples. Since you
are your child’s first teachers, here are some effective ways of teaching children
Love means more than words.
how to behave:
Love is action; love means giving, serving, thinking about, caring for, ●● Listen carefully.
listening to, talking to, making sacrifices, reading to, studying, remembering ●● Encourage them to come up with solutions to their own problems.
and much more. Saying “I love you” without exhibiting the actions of love is ●● Pay close attention to their nonverbal communication, eyes, gestures,
meaningless to a child. Parents have the ability to build up or tear down their tone, body posture, etc.
child’s sense of worth and ability. Take the time to make sure your children know your household routines and
rules. Meal-time routines might include: washing hands before and after meals,
Point to Remember: washing face, hands and mouth after eating, saying prayer together before the
Parents who make their family life a priority and who consistently meal is taken and washing hands before serving anyone or before touching pots.
show their children love and care will almost always produce an adult Your children should learn that they have to deal with consequences. When
who is secure, capable, responsible and valuable and able to give and they play with toys, ask that they put them away. If not, they will not be allowed
receive love. to play with toys for a few days. If they spill something, let them, to the best
of their ability, clean it up. Let them know in advance the consequences of
3. Thou Shalt Not Discipline Your Children in Anger. breaking household rules.
Show your children how to behave properly. If you are courteous and
“If we want them to become great devotees, then we must educate the children helpful, your children will imitate you and learn to be courteous and helpful.
with love, not in a negative way.” Employ “timeouts” when necessary. Timeout means you won’t allow your
(Śrīla Prabhupāda, letter to Brahmaṇya Tīrtha, 18 November, 1972) child to do an activity he or she wants to do. Have a place where they will sit
during “timeout”. One minute for each year of age is a good measurement. That
You can be firm, you can be serious and you may even allow your children is, if your child is 8 years old, they stay in “timeout” for eight minutes. You
to “think” that you are angry, but you should never discipline your children in can also use timeouts for yourself when you are feeling too emotional or too
anger. If you find yourself so angry, take time out, take some deep breaths and stressed, you might say, “Son, I’ll deal with this later, I’m too upset with your
let your children know you will deal with the matter later. behavior. Go to your room for now.” But keep your word, when you’ve calmed

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down, address the situation with a cool head. We worked with this young couple to help them understand how important
Both parents should agree on how they will discipline and present a united it is to have “break” time for her. They came up with a schedule where this
front. Inconsistency can really confuse and disorient children sending mixed mother now has about one and a half hours a day just for her. Because she could
messages. If you disagree, do it respectfully without being disagreeable. talk honestly with her husband, she moved beyond resentment.
The more you let your children make choices, the better. “You can have fruit
or water or juice, not cookies right now.” Or, “You can play nicely with your Understand that children are likely to put stress on your marriage.
cousins or you can go to your room and play by yourself.” So many new demands on your time and energy that weren’t there before!
Let your children do age appropriate chores. When people contribute to You don’t get to spend time with one another as much as you’d like. When you
something they feel a part of it. Be patient, but firm about having them to do do have some time, you are tired or sleepy.
their service.
See your mate as a “gift from God”.
Point to Remember: His Holiness Bhakti Tīrtha Swami, used to say that we should see our
A child is not a “little adult” anymore than a caterpillar is a little spouses as “gifts from God”. How should one treat a gift from God? With
butterfly. Children will one day be adults; however, childhood is a respect, kindness, generosity, appreciation, humility and a mood of service.
unique stage of life that we accept and appreciate as a special time in When we honor our spouse and be courteous and considerate, our children
the development of a human being. become enlivened and hopeful.

4. Honor Yourself and Your Spouse So That Your Premarital education, get skills before marriage.
Days as a Healthy Parent and a Healthy Person Prior to marriage, you should endeavor to have some premarital education.
Will be Enriched and Rewarding. You will learn healthy communication and conflict resolution skills, to set
Take time to renew and restore your body, mind and soul—so that your goals, to clarify your couple and individual values, explore financial options
efforts and energies with your children will be more effective. Don’t wear and understand how some of the baggage from your past might affect your
yourself out. Parenting is a full-time occupation so taking time to meditate, marriage.
pray, go for a walk, read, etc. is a way to rejuvenate yourself. Additionally, you can discuss realistic expectations for marriage, parenting,
and the roles of husband and wife. After these sessions, it is much more likely
Neglecting to care for yourself may lead to resentment. that you will have a lasting spiritual and peaceful union.
“I didn’t mean to,” one parent said, “but I began to resent my children. I
Failing to honor your spouse leads to devastating results.
spent all my time with them, taking care of their needs, never took anytime for
myself. From the moment I got up in the morning until I went to bed at night, I Divorce devastates children and communities; parents, children, extended
was caring for a small baby and two other children. My husband, on the other family and friends, deal with the fall-out from divorce for the rest of their lives.
hand, would come home from work and relax. I never had that luxury.” On a recent documentary program, a famous actress observed, “When I was

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12, my parents divorced. If there was a word beyond ‘devastated’ even that “Children live what they learn.”
word couldn’t possibly describe how I felt and how my family was affected. “I’d rather see a sermon,” a poem by Edgar Guest, refers to modeling proper
This actress and author was still reflecting on her parent’s divorce some 20 behavior.
years later. “I began to eat and eat and eat to comfort myself; to shield against “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day.
the pain.” She said that only after much counseling and introspection could she I’d rather one would walk with me than merely point the way.
trace her struggle to being depressed about her parents’ divorce. The eye is a better student and more willing than the ear.
Some of the ways you honor your spouse are, being respectful, using Counseling may be confusing, but example is always clear...”
good communication skills, appreciating what they bring to the relationship,
Your childhood memories of your parents.
acknowledging differences, being considerate, working out conflicts in a healthy,
courteous manner, showing affection, keeping your word and establishing trust. What do you remember most about your childhood? Is it what your parents
said or what they did? Negative or positive, their actions left an indelible
What about single parents? impression on you.
Getting help from extended family members or arranging with friends A client revealed, “My parents always said that it wasn’t good to drink
to exchange child care are options for single parents. Interact with an absent or smoke, but sometimes they would drink and my father smoked. Today my
parent respectfully and honestly. Seeing parents fight and argue causes much brother has a problem with alcohol and my younger sister smokes. What good
pain. Never, ever, talk negatively about the other parent in front of his child. was it for them to tell us not to do something? They did the very things they told
You can be truthful but please remember that children are unable to process us not to do! We imitated them when we were young and we still have some of
your negative comments. Ask yourself if what you say about the absent parent: those habits today.”
Is truthful? Beneficial? Necessary? If you can’t answer yes to all 3 questions,
don’t say it. If you can’t deal respectfully with the absent parent, find someone Point to Remember:
you trust to mediate between the two of you. There are 3 important things in parenting:
1. Example, 2. Example, 3. Example
Point to Remember:
Honoring yourself and your spouse (or the absent parent) is one of the 6. Thou Shalt Engage Your Children in Healthy
best gifts you can give to your children. Lifestyle Choices That Incorporate Exercise,
Healthy Nutrition and Spiritual Activities.
5. Thou Shalt Model the Behavior You Expect from
“Let them play. They have a playful nature.”
Your Child.
(Śrīla Prabhupāda, letter to Aniruddha–Bombay, 10 January, 1972)
“These children are the future hope of our Society.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda, letter to Satsvarūpa, 11 April, 1973) Children learn by playing.

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Children, especially small children, learn through play. Play allows them to Chant Hare Kṛṣṇa with your children every day.
experiment, to re-invent themselves continually and to assess their strengths and
abilities as well as those of others. Additionally, when children play with others, “Parenting is such an awesome duty, not for the faint-hearted. No
they learn social skills—how to share, how to cooperate, how to compromise one should become a mother or father or any kind of leader unless he is
and what happens when they don’t. willing and able to save his dependents from ignorance and illusion or
repeated birth and death.” (Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, 55.18)
Encourage healthy activity. From an early age, show your children how to incorporate spirituality in
Getting your youngsters to develop lifelong healthy habits such as a daily their lives by reading and discussing spiritual books such as Bhagavad-gītā or
walk is much easier to do when they are little. Even if your children are older, you Śrī Īśopaniṣad. Take them to the temple and chant Hare Kṛṣṇa with them every
can start now to get them moving, to be physically active so they will decrease day. Associate with other serious devotee families. Prepare prasāda together,
the risk of becoming diabetic, overweight or having high blood pressure. with love and offer it to Kṛṣṇa. In your home, let your children have easy access
Children two years and older should get at least 60 minutes of moderate to games, books, and movies that depict spiritual topics.
to vigorous exercise every day of the week. (There are exceptions like illness, Help them to appreciate that life is sacred and their body is a vehicle. The
travel etc.) Strength, endurance and flexibility are the desirable outcomes of real being is in inside the vehicle. Conversations such as these can take place
exercise. beginning from infancy. Find opportunities to relate current events to spiritual
topics or principles. Ask questions: “How do you feel about the animal that was
Fitness has benefits. hit by the car?”
Try to engage your children in activities where you can participate, such as
Putting your money where your mouth is.
swimming, walking, or bicycling, and do fun things with them.
Children who are physically fit sleep better and handle physical and When they see you give regular charity, your children will realize the
emotional challenges better. Overall, physically active children tend to have a importance of supporting spiritual people and projects. They will realize from
more upbeat attitude towards life. your example that money, like other resources, is a blessing from God and that
giving back is our way of showing our appreciation.
A healthy diet is most important.
Conscientious parents study to distinguish healthy foods from unhealthy Point to Remember:
ones. Do your research; learn the effects and composition of medicines, vaccines Conscientious parents diligently care for their children holistically—
or any substance that you agree to put in your children’s bodies. body, mind and soul.
In the Bhagavad-gītā, Lord Kṛṣṇa identifies the foods that are beneficial
(or in the mode of goodness) and which foods are not. Milk, fresh fruits and 7. Thou Shalt Not Allow the Media (Television,
vegetables, natural grains: beans, peas and nuts are nutritious foodstuffs and Internet, Phones, iPods, Computers, Etc.) to
parents would do well to include these items in their family’s regular diet. Overwhelm Your Household or Take Control of It.

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An in-home babysitter. have children, actively work on the character that you want your child to have.
As carriers of culture, parents have tremendous responsibility to guide their
It’s easy to do. We let the computer or the television occupy our children’s children in positive ways and to mold their minds for the good.
attention while we do other things. But there’s a price we pay for this. Children,
especially younger ones, are negatively affected by too much computer or Vaiṣṇava parents transmit culture and healthy family traditions.
television usage. For older children, parents are sometimes slack in monitoring (Bhagavad-gītā 1.39)
the quality of programs they watch. With a steady stream of gadgets, more and
more electronic paraphernalia, what’s a parent to do? Culture is a means of transferring values and principles to the next generation.
Culture teaches people:
Get creative in dealing with media inputs in your household. How to interpret material and spiritual reality.
We should schedule appropriate times for computer and television usage. It’s How to behave: what’s right and wrong (discrimination).
OK to have media freedays in your household—days when no one watches TV, How to solve problems.
listens to an iPod, or uses the computer. Sing bhajans, walk and read together. For children, parents are the most important purveyors of culture.
Eating meals together at least once a day, free of interruption promotes Many of today’s leaders lack integrity and people are dissatisfied with
family stability and predictability; it’s an important way of staying connected to government. But today’s leaders were yesterday’s children. What would have
your family while imparting values. happened if their parents intentionally raised caring, compassionate, unselfish
children?
Point to remember:
Choosing to be a Premium Parent is an option.
You are in charge! Don’t let computers or other technological devices
rule your home. In our Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute course, Parenting for the 21st Century©,
we teach people to be Premium Parents.
8. Thou Shalt Envision the Kind of Children You Want We advise that parents get a clear picture of the character qualities they want
and Proceed to Prepare Them to Be That. their children to possess. Since every reality begins with a thought, you can
envision children who are Kṛṣṇa conscious, considerate, courteous, respectful,
“Just children on their way to school? No! These are the world’s rebuilders.” truthful, resourceful, creative, and self-disciplined.
(Anonymous) Parental thoughts and actions matter even before conception.
Do you want a selfish, rude, vulgar, disrespectful, self-indulgent, child? One Talk with your spouse about the kind of child you want to have. Discuss
who tells lies, steals and generally makes mischief? No sane parent would. what kind of parents you need to be in order to raise such a child.
The ancient Vedas of India declare that due to the consciousness of the
What kind of a child do you want? parents at the time of conception, a particular child is attracted to the mother’s
If possible, consider this question before having children. If you already womb. If, at the time of conception, the parents have a healthy, Kṛṣṇa conscious

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mentality, inclined to do good for themselves and others, then they are likely to Your authority is not based on your size, your knowledge or your financial
give birth to a child with similar consciousness. worth. Kṛṣṇa has given you the power to guide your children properly—don’t
relinquish it. Don’t be intimidated by others; not even by your children; when it
Affirmation during pregnancy. comes to accepting the responsibility of instructing with spiritual values.
For mother or father:
“I am an instrument to bring into this world, a divine spark of Kṛṣṇa who Point to Remember:
will courageously assist and/or take a leadership role in ushering into the world You don’t need a lot of money, position or status to be a good parent.
a golden age of genuine love, peace, and service to Kṛṣṇa and His creation.” You do need a willingness to learn, to listen and to love.

Point to Remember: 10. Thou Shalt Be in Charge, Having Regulation and

You can intentionally conceive and raise a truthful, clean, caring self- Healthy Routines in Your House.
disciplined, creative child who will lead by example.
Who’s the boss?
9. Thou Shalt Understand That You Are Automatically In a healthy family, adults are in charge and they make sure that children
Empowered or Authorized When You Give Birth to have expected times to eat meals, rest, worship, and that the children know the
a Child (or Consciously Choose to Adopt One). routines for these activities. There is an order to their lives; and for children,
order is synonymous with security. So you—the adults—will see that your
“These children are given to us by Kṛṣṇa, they are Vaiṣṇavas and we must be family does things to promote unity and commitment such as eating meals
very careful to protect them.” together, having regular family meeting, praying together, etc. Where there are
well thought out, practical routines, there is less need for rules.
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Arundhatī—Amsterdam 30 July, 1972)

This 9th commandment doesn’t mean that “I don’t need to learn anything Point to Remember:
because I’m already empowered.” It means that sober-minded, conscious Parents, who accept their roles as loving, responsible, exemplary
parents have God-given authority to be a mother or a father; the power to guide leaders for their family, generally raise healthy, well-adjusted children.
their children, the power to be their leader. It’s your duty to require a standard of
spiritual behavior. You have the power to command that your children respect 11. Thou Shalt Not Kill Thy Children.
you and other elders and authorities. Empowered parents will endeavor to get
“A mother holds your hand for a while, your heart forever…”
the parenting skills they need and are not afraid to ask for help. They realize that
wise parents are always learning. Don’t smash their creativity, their healthy aspirations or their bubbly
enthusiasms. And don’t kill their bodies either (through abortion or unhealthy
Material attributes do not qualify or disqualify your parenting authority. foods, certain vaccines, etc. that are toxic or detrimental).

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Encouraging them to ask questions and responding honestly will infuse non-judgmental companion, housekeeper, provider, mentor, researcher and
them with a desire for learning and a fearlessness to seek answers. more. And, you are asked to fulfill all of these roles often simultaneously and
always with unconditional love, being a good example for your children in and
Reading to your children: inexpensive but invaluable.
out of the home.
From a young age, read Kṛṣṇa books to them, continue to read to them as
Parenting has many rewards.
the years pass and then let them read to you when they are able. You should
even read to your children while they are yet in the womb. When they are little, Though it is the hardest job in the world and brings so much responsibility,
hold them on your laps and read to them and when they are older, alternate the rewards of parenting are numerous.
reading to them and encourage them to read to you. They associate warmth, You get the knowledge that you contribute to the well-being of society by
good feelings and nurturing with reading. raising well-adjusted, healthy children.
Parenting increases your ability to love. When my eldest daughter was
What’s the outcome of good parenting? pregnant with her second child, she asked: “Mātā, will I love this one as much
Cāṇakya Paṇḍita an ancient sage has described the outcome of real parenting as I do my first?” I embraced her, assuring her that real love expands because
in profoundly simple terms. He observed that a person who has really been there is something magical about parenting that opens the heart. I told her what
educated exhibits three characteristics: I knew from experience, that not only would she have room to love her second
1. Every man treats all women (except his own wife) with the same respect child as much as the first, but she’d be able to love others more as well.
and consideration as he would his own mother; a woman treats all men, Good parenting strengthens you and builds character. You can appreciate
except her own husband, with the care and respect she would treat her own being a parent because good qualities will develop in you as you do your job
son. well.
2. They see other people’s possessions as garbage in the streets. They are not You are admired and liked just because you’re “mom” or “dad”. Someone
at all interested in what belongs to others. looks up to you. You have a meaningful, worthwhile purpose to your life.
3. They treat others as they would like to be treated—fairly, honestly, kindly Often grown-up children care for their elderly parents. Often in western
and friendly. countries despite the fact that children have been raised by their parents to
adulthood, the elderly parents end up in nursing homes. But many conscientious
These are signs of progressive culture and when we raise children with
or God conscious children will take care of their elderly parents. The grown-ups
these characteristics, we raise children who will contribute to a flourishing,
will care for their elderly parents in the homes of the parents or in their own
Kṛṣṇa conscious society.
homes.
Parenting is a sacrifice. We know this is actually the duty of children, according to the sastras—to
take care of the elderly parents.
As a parent, you must often put the needs of your children before your
own. You will be called upon to be nurturer, coach, guide, friend, advocate,
Final Point to Remember:
caretaker, nurse, doctor, cook, confidante, disciplinarian, chauffeur, teacher,
Although parenting requires sacrifice, it is a sacrifice of love. Kṛṣṇa

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Definition of a Teacher
will help you raise Kṛṣṇa conscious, productive children because you
From Vaikuṇṭha Children, Adapted from Jyotirmayī Devī Dāsī
are actually doing this job on His behalf. There are powerful benefits
to being a committed parent. Take your job as parents very seriously.
Having excellent devotional qualifications is not enough to be a good
The world awaits the caring, creative, compassionate children you are
teacher. Even though one cannot be a good teacher unless he is a good devotee,
raising.
one can be a very good devotee and a very bad teacher. Everyone has different
qualifications according to his situation in various varṇas, and one may have a
propensity for being a first class pūjārī or farmer, rather than a teacher.
Teaching is more than simply knowing the subject matter one is supposed
to teach. Above everything it means knowing how to deal with children on
the various levels of their daily life: their happiness, distress, anxiety, fear,
frustration, emotional disturbances, physical conditions, exaltation, frivolity,
playful nature, anger, challenges, fights, efforts, simplicity, naiveté, affectionate
and confident nature, lying tendency, and need for love and security.
Gurukula is meant to form the character, not just to give knowledge. This
involves training everything in the child—his physical emotional, mental and
spiritual requirements in addition to the intellectual. The teacher must therefore
be sensitive, emotionally and mentally strong, self-controlled, equipoise,
determined, with willpower and experience. One cannot become a good teacher
without experience.
One must be sincere and determined before deciding to become a teacher. It
is not a service that one takes for a few months and then leaves. It takes about
five years to become successful in this service.
Teaching is very mentally exhausting work. The teacher must always be
a good example and self-controlled at least as long as he is seen or heard by
the children. As far as possible he must always remind the children of Kṛṣṇa
at all times of the day and throughout all kinds of activities. At every moment
a teacher has to subdue his own material tendencies, desire, and problems for
the sake of the children. Although a devotee may not make this sacrifice for his
own spiritual life, he must do it for the children. This sense of responsibility

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is essential. Without it, no one has the right to become a teacher. He cannot not his confidants. He should also not let his activities as teacher be influenced
sacrifice the children’s material and spiritual needs for his own. A teacher’s by his mental state. On his own he can cry and be disturbed, but in front of
influence on a child, through his words and actions, is formidable. He can the students he must always show happiness, equilibrium, and conviction. This
perfect or destroy a child’s material and spiritual life. does not mean that he should never show any personal feelings. He can display
There are great spiritual and material rewards from being a good teacher. feelings of displeasure and pain as long as they are related to the children and
A teacher’s spiritual strength and stability will increase. A serious teacher will used to train them beneficially. The teacher must also be aware of a common
make very rapid advancement. This service, like many others that are directly pitfall. Sometimes adults think that children are so unconscious that we can do
preaching, perfectly illustrates the Bhagavad-gītā’s 68th verse of the 18th and say things in front of them of which we’d be ashamed in front of adults.
chapter: “For one who explains the supreme secret to the devotees, devotional Children may not say anything at the time, but they register and remember it.
service is guaranteed, and at the end he will come back to Me.” The teacher
also feels emotional, mental, and intellectual satisfaction. He has the happiness
of being greatly loved by so many children. There is joy in contributing to the
happiness and spiritual progress of these devotees. At most times of the day,
the teacher has the thrill of stimulating and interesting discussions about Kṛṣṇa
conscious topics, reminding us of Bhagavad-gītā 10.9., “The thoughts of my
pure devotees dwell in Me…”
Teachers must be a good example, materially and spiritually, at all times
when with children. We teach by example as well as instruction. The teacher is
as carefully watched by the children as an actor on a stage. Whatever he does the
children judge, praise, or criticize and imitate. When they are young they just
accept the teacher’s behavior as being standard Kṛṣṇa conscious practice and
imitate naively. When they are older they often imitate the wrongs as an excuse
to display their own material desires. Know that a child is always more keen
to imitate a materially pleasing defect or error than a spiritually advantageous
but materially unpleasant quality or a good action. Older children, who can
discriminate between Kṛṣṇa conscious and materialistic words and actions,
judge the whole movement from the teachers and devotees around them. Even
before endeavoring to correct a child’s bad qualities and errors, therefore, one
should correct one’s own.
The teacher must be self-controlled. When a teacher has personal problems
in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, he must never tell the children about them. They are

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Specific Teaching Methods useful when the teacher is a good source of knowledge on the topic. We have all
attended lectures or seminars where we learned more in less than an hour than
From Vaikuṇṭha Children by Urmilā Devī Dāsī. we could have by extensive reading and experience. For a lecture to be effective,
the teacher must not only be knowledgeable, but be able to capture and keep
the student’s attention. The presentation must be relevant to the student’s needs,
1. Reading
and in terms they can readily understand.
Reading is one of the simplest teaching methods. The teacher reads aloud
to the student—sometimes pausing to explain a word, to discuss a particular 3. Visual Tools
passage, or to ask questions. Reading stories teaches not only the story itself, The use of visual tools such as blackboards, ready-made pictures, felt boards
but also a lot about the process of reading and analysis. Students hear inflection, and films can be an excellent teaching method. A simple lecture is greatly
pronunciation, and become familiar with the structure of a plot. If the story enhanced even by chalk drawings to illustrate difficult points. By combining
is transcendental, the spiritual exchange of chanting and hearing solidifies the lecture with pictures, the teacher takes advantage of both the rational and
student-teacher relationship. Reading factual or “technical” information can be imaginative learning abilities of the students.
a good way of teaching if the reading material’s explanation is more clear and Visual tools can also be used as the basis for a lesson, with verbal explanations
concise than the teacher’s could have been. supplementing the picture. This is particularly useful when teaching about, for
We can teach not only by reading aloud to the student, but also by giving example, the climate and animal life of a region far remote from the classroom.
him books on a particular topic to read himself. This works if the student Pictures or film of the place will make a far more lasting impression than
already possesses the skills, especially reading and research, to make good use discussion or lecture.
of the books. Such reading can often supplement other types of instruction. For The best visuals are dynamic rather than static. A felt board where pieces
example, after the student studies migration in a textbook with class discussion are added and removed is better than a completed, ready-made picture. A
and comprehension exercises, he can read factual books or story books about chalkboard drawing made as the students watch is also good. Dynamic visuals
migratory birds. keep the students’ attention and involvement.
Reading, either aloud to the students or by the student himself, is not the Visual tools, even when used almost exclusively for a particular lesson or
method of choice when the material is so advanced that the students become group of lessons, generally need to be accompanied by some other method. For
bored or frustrated. It is also inappropriate if the reading material has more example students have been reading textbooks about the digestive system and
information than is necessary. The teacher’s summary, perhaps with reading listening to lectures. A class is then devoted to video or film strips that show
brief passages from the source book, would be more appropriate. the same lessons. Used in this way, especially after other teaching methods,
A simple blackboard can be an effective visual tool. visual tools can be powerful reinforcements for learning. In this connection it
should be carefully noted that video or film should never be used by itself as
2. Lecturing a teaching method. The medium is not interactive enough for deep and long-
Lecturing by the teacher is an ancient teaching method that is particularly lasting learning and must therefore be supplemented with or be a supplement

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for, other learning. should not abuse this method to embarrass children or to “catch” those who
When we need to “paint a picture” for our students but cannot draw it, have were not listening. Teachers who use the question/discussion method need to
no ready-made picture or film, and cannot produce such, we can create the allow students to respectfully challenge the teacher’s statements and opinions.
image in the students’ imagination. Included in this category are the descriptive This method is required for Kṛṣṇa conscious philosophy classes, because Kṛṣṇa
passages found in much of literature. The sastra is full of such imagery about the instructs us to “inquire submissively.” Students need to air their doubts and
Lord, His pastimes, and His abode. Of course, when actual images are combined difficulties in order to resolve them. Teachers who provide an emotionally secure
with verbal imagery, the “picture” has more than double the influence. environment for such exchanges encourage the students in this important area.
Discussions should not be an excuse for wasting time, as when a student
Peaceful Classes tries to divert the teacher from the lesson with irrelevant prattle. Teachers should
By Śrī Rāma Dāsa also not excessively challenge very young students, or question in such a way
Teachers’ often don’t realize how much their own loud behavior that doubts and difficulties will be increased.
can affect the mood of the classroom. For example, when the students 5. Rote Repetition
are quietly working on their individual lessons and one child begins
Rote repetition and memorization is one of the oldest teaching methods.
to create a disturbance on the far side of the classroom, if the teacher
The teacher says and the student repeats. This method is especially useful for
calls out to him to behave properly, then every other child will also look
learning multiplication tables and Bhagavad-gītā ślokas. Although valuable as
up from his work to see what’s happening. It’s better for the teacher
straight “say and repeat,” the memorization method can be enhanced for faster
to go over to the troublemaker and correct him quietly and privately.
and more pleasant learning.
Whispering is often more effective than raising your voice because
The simplest enhancement is song. Instead of saying the spelling rule we
children are not so conditioned to turning.
sing it. How much easier do we remember songs over prose? Another simple
enhancement is rhyme and meter, (“I” before “E” except after “C” or when
Such tactics could also be put to use during teacher lectures, by walking sounding like “A” as in neighbor and weigh). When rhyme, meter, and melody
over and placing an index card on the desk of a misbehaving student with a are combined, we have a powerful teaching method. A good example is the
message such as, “I expect you to stop what you’re doing and pay attention to alphabet song which is remembered by school children not only to learn their
the lesson. If you choose not to, I’ll have to chastise you in front of the class. letters, but later when they alphabetize in order to use dictionaries, indexes, etc.
The choice is yours.” Songs can be used to teach letter sounds, grammar rules, and anything else that
can be memorized.
4. Discussion A slightly more involved memory enhancement is drama. The use of hand
Discussion with questions and challenges is a distant relative of the lecture. gestures to dramatize the meaning of Bhagavad-gītā ślokas is one example. Of
Discussion can invoke students’ curiosity so they will be more receptive to the course, we can combine such gestures with song, rhyme and meter. Children
lesson at hand, or it can delve more deeply into lessons already studied. Teachers really enjoy learning in this way.

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There are other ways of assisting rote memorization, such as creating a students experience with budgeting and making change.
related mental image, especially if the image is unusual. Some teachers design When the student discovers mathematical relationships and principles by
memory games, as well. For example, each word of a verse can be put on a using blocks or other manipulatives, they are learning by practical experience.
separate piece of paper. For added effect, each paper can be cut in a different Sometimes practical experience is not so much application as just
shape. The papers are put side by side so that the verse can be read. The children observation and exposure. The major method for teaching Kṛṣṇa consciousness
say or sing the verse and the teacher gradually removes each piece of paper is simply exposure to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Children learn to preach only by
after every few repetitions. preaching, to serve only by serving. They learn deity worship and chanting only
Some lessons, such as the names of letters, can be taught solely through by practically engaging in those activities.
rote repetition. Most other lessons that lend themselves well to this method are Some lessons cannot easily be experienced or directly applied. We can also
greatly assisted by making sure the student gains a deeper understanding as have a simulation of experience. We can dramatize a lesson by, for example, role-
well. It is useful to have children understand the reason for the various products playing the different positions in government or an event in history. There are
in the multiplication tables, in addition to memorizing them. many computer generated simulations in the fields of mathematics and science
that can be useful if we lack the facility or money for the actual demonstration.
6. Practical Demonstration
Teaching through a practical demonstration is useful for all enrichment 8. Showing
activities, such as drawing, music, sewing, and auto repair. It is also important The method of taking the child and showing him combines a demonstration
in composition—students need to see the teacher write, proofread and rewrite and experience. This method is used when we hold the child’s hand to help
to thoroughly understand the process. This is an extension of the visual tool. him form letters, or physically guide him through a somersault. (It is often
Instead of drawing a picture of the way an arrow flies from the bow, we go the case that the teacher demonstrates and then asks the student to practically
outside and shoot an arrow. experience. For example, the teacher gives an oral presentation and then asks
Science “experiments” are the main use of the demonstration method in the the student to copy her presentation with another subject. This, however, is not
classroom. Students may not remember from a book, lecture, or discussion that a separate method of teaching. Showing a child involves some physical contact
salt remains after the evaporation of salt water, but they will certainly remember where the teacher literally guides the student.)
if they see a demonstration of the principle.
9. Field Trips
When the teacher uses blocks, shells, or the manipulative to show students
a mathematical principal, she is using the demonstration method. A teaching method that could be described as a “big experience” or “big
simulation” is the field trip. A nature walk with a treasure hunt or a visit to a
7. Practical Experience factory is an experience; a trip to a museum that depicts historical events and
Practical experience is often a natural outgrowth of other teaching methods. artifacts is a simulation—one is not actually going back in history.
Students need to use what they’ve learned to appreciate its value and internalize Sometimes a field trip relates directly to classroom studies. Students who
the lesson. For example, a shopping trip to buy items, for a project can give the are studying desert regions visit a conservatory to see desert plants and a zoo

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to see desert animals. Other times a field trip is a general learning opportunity (variety is the mother of enjoyment) and to use the children’s natural playing
unrelated to present lessons. Students see maple syrup made, sheep shorn, or a propensity in Kṛṣṇa’s service.
demonstration of crafts such as candle-making. The later type of field trip takes If they can play a game that helps them advance in Kṛṣṇa consciousness,
advantage of local events and seasonal changes. we accept it with great enthusiasm. If a game will help our students learn their
Some types of field trips can be an essential part of the curriculum. Many academics for Kṛṣṇa yet does not distract them into sense gratification, we can
teachers take their students preaching on a regular basis. For some schools, for also accept it as great motivation.
example, Christmas time means a break from the classroom routine completely It is the issue of motivation that makes game playing such an attractive
while the students distribute books and prasāda for a few weeks. Other schools method. Before anyone can learn anything, he has to want to learn it. Many
plan harināma and book distribution programs around specific Vaiṣṇava holidays people study a foreign language for many years but cannot speak, understand,
and local events, such as farm exhibits and state fairs. read or write it. Why? They had no real need to learn. Conversely, someone
Field trips have some value simply because they provide variety in the who moves to a foreign country can learn the same language in a short time.
learning environment. Sometimes the teacher and students need to get out of The difference? Need. Many students do not see any need for them to learn
the classroom just to get a broader perspective of education. For example, one classroom lessons. They are concerned with present enjoyment and cannot
of the best ways to stimulate writing in children is to go for a walk and then ask
understand how such learning will help them in the future. However, if, in order
the students to write a description of the surroundings.
to play and win a game a student must learn something new, he immediately
10. Games accepts it.
Some games may, however, give our students a taste for sense enjoyment.
Making learning into a game is a teaching method that naturally creates a
«need» in the student to learn the material. For example, one game to learn parts of speech involves removing key words
Śrīla Prabhupāda explained that young students could be induced to take from a story. The students are then requested to supply nouns, verbs, adjectives
prasāda by having them pretend to be cows eating grass. This is a form of the and adverbs to fill in the blanks, without knowing the original story. The result
game method. He also, however, criticized the Montessori approach for having is a very silly story, the humor of which inspires the students to understand parts
unnecessary so-called scientific games. While educational games can certainly of speech.
assist in learning, we don’t want to be afraid of hard academic work, especially On the other hand, some games, such as «Where in the World?» and
as the students mature. We don’t need to create a total game based curriculum «Pictionary» have learning as their prime objective, and are serious yet fun.
out of a desire to make learning «fun». Learning is enjoyable, ultimately and These are good supplements to the curriculum and can be used as a reward for
permanently, only when it is connected with Kṛṣṇa. Sugar-coating education academic achievement or good behaviour.
by turning it into fun and games may lead to a program where the teacher is Games can be very simple and free, or complicated and expensive. They
afraid to ask the student to tackle any task that is difficult or «painful.» Yet this can be just a verbal exchange, played on a board with pieces, or on a computer.
austerity of learning is one of the hallmarks of brahmacārī life. Almost any subject, from physical education to science, can be made into a
On the other hand, it is desirable to have a variety of teaching methods game at least to some extent.

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Nourishment for Parents and Teachers Besides our basic morning program, we need to faithfully set aside time
for study, prayer, and service. Our family once had a designated time to read
By Urmilā Devī Dāsī about Kṛṣṇa for half an hour each evening. Over a few months, I found myself
finishing many books I’d only been able to gaze at with longing. Even a young
Once, some weeks went by when Śrīla Prabhupāda was not writing as much child can look at pictures of Kṛṣṇa during such a time.
as usual. When a disciple asked him if something was wrong, Prabhupāda Finally, we need the association of other devotees of Kṛṣṇa. We have the
replied that every endeavor has periods of activity and relaxation. general society and companionship of other devotees, of course, but certain
We parents and teachers who guide and care for children in Kṛṣṇa types of association particularly help those committed to caring for children.
consciousness must consider our need to relax, recharge, and get spiritual One type of association we need are “fans”, devotees who cheer us on and
nourishment. Otherwise, we’ll become exhausted. enliven us. They may not know the details of toilet training or helping children
All who work regularly with children need various types of recharging. memorize the Bhagavad-gītā verses, but they care enough to value our service.
Our body and mind need regular rest, meals, and quiet. Parents often say they They’re enthusiastic, they give unconditional support, and they’ll step in and
can’t get proper rest and rejuvenation, especially when caring for very young cheer us on in difficult times.
children. Vedic society solves this problem with the extended family; aunts, We also need friends close enough to be honest with us about our faults.
uncles, cousins, grandmothers, and a network of relatives help one another. In They too may not be familiar with our work, but they can see if we’re disturbed
modern society we may have to get help from a network of friends. rather than peaceful. Receiving correction is difficult, but without having
Another need is our spiritual nourishment. Children learn more through devotees who care about us enough to give needed advice, we may suffer by
experience than concepts. So they’ll know more about spirituality from what going far down the wrong path.
we are than from what we say. To show saintly qualities we must regularly We also need devotees with whom we can “talk shop,” those who do what we
immerse ourselves in a concentrated bath of serving Kṛṣṇa through hearing do. For example, in many places ISKCON has formal seminars where principals,
about Him, chanting His names, and so on. Śrīla Prabhupāda gave us a morning Gurukula teachers, home-schooling parents, and Sunday school teachers can
schedule of such worship. During that time, we parents and teachers should come together for support, encouragement, and problem solving. Some devotee
daily examine whether we are begging Kṛṣṇa for mercy and guidance or simply communities have parent support groups with scheduled meetings.
mechanically going through the motions. Having parents or co-workers we can talk to regularly is best. We need to
Involving our children in our morning spiritual practice will help us gain know how others in our position handle the pressures that come with guiding
the sustenance we need. When children are very young, of course, they need children. Those of us who serve the Lord by caring for devotees in young bodies
some simple diversions so that we may focus on our worship. But within a short must live in a way that helps us do our best job.
time children included in daily morning devotions respect parents’ or teachers’
personal time with Kṛṣṇa. On the other hand, when we leave children sleeping
so that we can have our own devotions, not only do the children lose out on the
benefit of attending, but gradually we will be tempted to stay sleeping as well.

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Imparting Values of
Character Development
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Divine Consciousness of a Previous Life children’s innate feelings. We suppress those feelings when, for example, we
have ordinary television programs playing in our house, when we send our
By Urmilā Devī Dāsī children to schools full of friends and teachers who encourage material life,
or when we in any way surround a child with influences contrary to his own
The Bhagavad-gītā tells us that a child with good opportunities for genuine devotional nature.
spiritual life must have progressed in yoga, or Kṛṣṇa consciousness, in a
previous life. Kṛṣṇa tells Arjuna some symptoms of such a child. First, the child Inquisitive Transcendentalist
will be attracted automatically to the yogic principles, even without seeking Besides showing signs of being attached to Kṛṣṇa, as the child grows he or
them. Second, he or she will be an inquisitive transcendentalist. Third, the child she will also show signs of being an inquiring transcendentalist.
stands always above the ritualistic principles of the scriptures. Although children start asking questions practically as soon as they can talk,
Attracted to Krishna philosophical inquiry and answers become most crucial to a child’s spiritual
development beginning around age ten, when the child approaches physical and
Natural attraction to yogic principles specifically, to serving Lord Kṛṣṇa
intellectual maturity. For the next five to ten years, a child often shows a previous
with love is probably the most obvious symptom of previous devotion. That
connection with Kṛṣṇa consciousness by an intense interest in philosophy. True,
attraction shows in a child’s delight in seeing a Deity or picture of Kṛṣṇa and in
not all children are philosophically inclined to an equal extent. Yet a supportive
enthusiasm when chanting in the kīrtana. Such a child also quickly and naturally
atmosphere can often release a flood of interest in what may have appeared a
understands a theology that even for scholars seems difficult.
dry riverbed of a child.
Keeping our children’s attraction to Kṛṣṇa alive no, increasing it is simple
A supportive atmosphere means that adults who deal with children between
in theory but not always in practice. Every day we must give them ample
opportunities to meet the object of their enthusiasm, and we must keep them the ages of ten and sixteen welcome questions as a sign that the child is a natural
from what will divert or dampen that enthusiasm. devotee. The questions may sometimes seem heretical or disrespectful; still,
The child who daily chants Hare Kṛṣṇa, sees the Lord in His Deity form, a wise adult welcomes them with warmth and kindness. Arjuna presents his
keeps company with other devotees, and reads or hears the stories of Kṛṣṇa or demons of doubt to Lord Kṛṣṇa. So must our children air their doubts, confusion,
the philosophy of Kṛṣṇa consciousness naturally grows in spontaneous attraction or understanding.
and affection for Kṛṣṇa. Such a child does not have to seek that attraction or Of course, happily accepting questions is not enough. The child may be
struggle to cultivate it, since his or her heart is already fertile and the seed of unsure whether discussion is welcome. I suggest setting aside two or three
devotion already there, the simple water and sunshine of devotional life quickly times a week, in school or at home, for discussing philosophy. The child can
produce a healthy plant of love of God. read a section from the Vedic literature and write down his questions about that
Yet many children who show natural devotion when very young can section. We can then use those questions as a basis for discussion. Sometimes,
become materialistic as they mature. Generally this is because parents, teachers, of course, we may wander far from the original topic to points the child finds
and society have artificially suppressed, or at least neglected to culture, the really of concern.

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Above the Rituals We can help our children understand the universality of the Vedic principles
When we find a child who is not only attracted to Kṛṣṇa consciousness and by showing how everyone, in various ways, is trying to know and love Kṛṣṇa.
inquisitive about it but also beyond ritualistic principles, we know that this is While teaching our children about different religions or philosophies, we can
a soul who has already understood the goal of religion. But this symptom of show how sanātana-dharma is the most perfect expression of the essential
children with divine consciousness is probably the most difficult to understand principles of those religions and philosophies. Śrīla Prabhupāda’s discussions
and encourage. on philosophers and Satyarāja Dāsa’s books on comparative religions are very
Why? Because we adults may ourselves think in terms of ritual and religion. helpful. Satsvarūpa Dāsa Goswami also has many publications that accentuate
We may want to teach our children that Kṛṣṇa consciousness is their “religion” the universal principle of sanātana-dharma.
that they should identify themselves as “Hindus” or “Hare Kṛṣṇas” or “Vaiṣṇavas” Our children learn further that Kṛṣṇa consciousness is universal when they
the way others identify themselves as “Catholics” and “Muslims.” And we may see us applying it to every aspect of our life. Everything we do, eat, say, and
feel that our religious identity and that of our children depend primarily upon
think can be directed toward loving Kṛṣṇa. Our example can take our children
accepting a certain ritualistic formula in contrast to the rituals of other religions.
from the theoretical to the practical. They can then accept the practices of Kṛṣṇa
If we present spiritual life in this way, our children will probably reject it.
consciousness not as formalities or “rituals” in a negative sense, but as sensible,
Kṛṣṇa tells Arjuna that children born in families with good opportunities for
reasoned ways of achieving the goal of life.
spiritual advancement have already rejected a ritualistic concept of religion in a
previous life. Why should they accept it now? When parents or teachers realize they have a prodigy to train in music
We show our love for our children when we emphasize sanātana-dharma. or mathematics, perhaps they generally spare no trouble or expense to give
Sanātana means «eternal,» and dharma means «the intrinsic nature of the child the best opportunity to develop his or her talents. How much more
something.» Our integral nature, without beginning or end, is to love and serve we should do for the spiritual prodigy the child fortunate to live in a Kṛṣṇa
God, Kṛṣṇa. If we successfully convince our children that Kṛṣṇa consciousness conscious home.
is real and universal, they willfully and joyfully embrace it as the goal of their
life.
We show the reality of spiritual life when we present our child with evidence
to support what we’re trying to convey. The best evidence is people who are
achieving the spiritual success described in the scriptures. Our children should
know such people, not only from stories in the scriptures but personally. Our
children should also learn of empirical findings that can be thoroughly understood
only from the Vedic literature. Sadāpūta Dāsa’s book, Alien Identities is a good
example of this kind of information. Another example is a Kṛṣṇa conscious
study of empiric evidence about the origins of life.

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Example Is Better Than Precept will help them to achieve that goal while also setting a good example to the rest
of the society.
By CDM Children Services There are a few basic mode-of-goodness values that should be taught to our
children, namely:
Parenting is not easy. The Bhāgavatam confirms it: CLEANLINESS: As Śrīla Prabhupāda said, cleanliness is next to Godliness.
gurur na sa syāt sva-jano na sa syāt It helps to form early habits in children through your own example and clear
pitā na sa syāj jananī na sā syāt explanations. It can begin with simple things like washing of the hands and
daivaṁ na tat syān na patiś ca sa syān mouth after honouring prasāda, and then as they grow older they can do things
na mocayed yaḥ samupeta-mṛtyum like clearing up their toys after playing, and picking up things after themselves.
Gradually more things can be introduced to maintain cleanliness on a regular
“One who cannot deliver his dependents from the path of repeated basis. Children need to understand that whatever environment they are in, be it
birth and death should never become a spiritual master, a relative, a in the home, the classroom, or the temple; it is all Kṛṣṇa’s property and should
father, a husband, a mother or a worshipable demigod.” be treated as such. Children should learn that it is most satisfying to be clean
wherever they go. Śrīla Prabhupāda wanted that as devotees we should always
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 5.5.18) leave a place cleaner than we found it.

Conclusively, this is not something to be taken lightly. We must not become HONESTY: If they do something wrong, encourage them to be honest about
complacent thinking that because our children had the good fortune to be born it. We all make mistakes. It is good to be completely honest with the children
into a devotee family (and into the Kṛṣṇa Consciousness movement) they are about our own mistakes and wrongdoings. We are only human after all. When
guaranteed to go back home, back to Godhead in this lifetime. a child sees that we admit our mistakes and move forward, not only do they
Children are indeed very special souls, but we as parents have the serious learn not to make the same mistakes in the future, but they also develop a set of
responsibility of guiding and protecting them on their journey back to Kṛṣṇa. Thus, values that they will ultimately carry with them into their lives.
it is important to provide them with a positive Kṛṣṇa conscious environment and TOLERANCE: Children need to know that not everything revolves around
appropriate education right from the beginning. This will definitely contribute them, and that they won’t always get what they want. Sometimes others can be
in their becoming well rounded Kṛṣṇa conscious individuals in the future. a little harsh with them, and may say things that they don’t want to hear. They
It is important to acknowledge though, that this is not only the effort of the need to be taught that no matter what is going on they should be tolerant. It’s
parents. Children need to be given support, protection and care at home, in the ideal that they understand the taxing difficult situation that they may be in, and
school and by the community. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a why people react in the way they do. This will help them to be calmer and have
child. more self-control.
Not only do we want our children to become Kṛṣṇa conscious and return to Teach them – by example – that stooping down to the level of others by
the spiritual world, but we also want them to develop the godly qualities that bickering and arguing isn’t what Śrīla Prabhupāda and Kṛṣṇa would want. They

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rather would want us to be humble and mature, being able to tolerate these constantly grateful for what you have and expressing that gratitude will show
mishaps. Tolerance means being patient and humble. Even if the child may be your children that there is something to appreciate in everything. If we have this
right in a given situation, it is etiquette that they take the humble position. This mood of gratitude to Kṛṣṇa, then there is no chance of becoming dissatisfied
is not only proper and respectful to the other person, but it also exercises their and forgetting the blessings that we have.
tolerance. KINDNESS AND FORGIVENESS: Everyone makes mistakes, and it is
RESPECT: The child learns respect when she/he sees devotees around them important to teach our children to be able to forgive. The ability for forgiveness
respecting others. For example, when they see the respect their mother will comes from the kindness of one’s heart. Children need to learn that being kind
have for their father, or the respect of a junior devotee towards a senior devotee. and forgiving is more admirable and appreciated than being rough and tough.
From this, they will learn to respect others in all situations. They should be As Martin Luther King Jr. famously said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
taught not only to respect their authorities but also their peers and those junior only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
to them. As a senior sannyāsī quite accurately put it in a class, “Respect is
SELFLESSNESS (SHARING) AND/OR SERVICE ATTITUDE: It is better
basically the appreciation of qualities that the other person has and interacting
to give than to receive. Teach them that there is greater joy in sharing than in
with that person based on their individuality.” Respect goes both ways. We
being selfish. As they grow older, they will find that being selfless is a great
should also learn to respect our child so that when they do something wrong, we
service. Having a service attitude means that you take the position of the
do not immediately jump to punish them. Respect the child by giving them the
servant and not of the controller. This is when you have to be selfless. When
chance to help us understand their reason for doing what they did.
everything is done for the pleasure of Kṛṣṇa, they will soon learn that serving
SATISFACTION: One can never get everything one wants. When children is actually greater than being served. Between Kṛṣṇa and the jīva, the jīva gets
are born they do not know the difference between rich and poor, or what is more happiness from serving than Kṛṣṇa does from receiving that service.
good or bad, and so they happily accept whatever their parents give them. This It is very important that before we attempt to teach our children these values
mood of being satisfied with what they have should be encouraged and they that we are consistently following them ourselves. It’s only fair that we practice
should be taught to be content. They should learn that material wealth does what we preach.
not correspond to spiritual wealth, and it is good to help them understand that Children are constantly learning through observation. They pick up habits
material facilities don’t bring about happiness; rather, it is spiritual things that and qualities from the actions and behavior of those around them.
will bring them lasting joy. Whatever facilities they do have, be it a simple or Children learn more from what we are than what we teach. As Albert Einstein
sophisticated; little or a large amount, they have to know that everything is to says, “Example isn’t another way to teach, it’s the only way”. Your behavior
be used in Kṛṣṇa’s service. This will bring them ultimate happiness and they affects your children’s behavior because they are listening and learning whether
will thus be satisfied. Kṛṣṇa is the source of everything, if you have Kṛṣṇa, you or not they seem like it. Just as they learned to talk from repeating your words,
have everything. they learn to behave by repeating your behaviors.
GRATITUDE: Developing an attitude of gratitude is essential, because If you are polite and compassionate, they are more likely to be polite and
when you appreciate what you have, you will be satisfied and happy. Being compassionate. If you are a fun-loving and free spirit, they too would exhibit

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these qualities. Whatever your good qualities are, your children will probably
share them.
Your Kids and the One Eyed Guru
Unfortunately, the reverse is true as well. Therefore, it is crucial that we By Urmilā Devī Dāsi
become aware of what we are doing in our lives, why we are doing it, and how
it can impact the children. They are constantly learning and asking questions When our oldest son, Mādhava, now eighteen, was small, he had few toys,
and we need to be able to tell them what we are doing and why. If we cannot some blocks, some clay. We never had a television or a video player, so he
explain our actions adequately then the things they learn will simply become played with his toys in imitation of what he saw, worship of Kṛṣṇa, chanting of
meaningless traditions that are followed out of habit, or accepted out of fear His names, initiation ceremonies, bathing of the Deity. Today, having grown up
without any understanding of why they are doing them. without television, he has transformed his childhood play into adult service to
For instance, when a piece of the Deities’ paraphernalia falls to the ground, the Lord.
it is only proper that one picks it up and touches it to the head as a sign of Śrīla Prabhupāda describes the benefit of growing up in a family of devotees:
respect. If a child sees you doing that, because they are naturally inquisitive,
“By the grace of Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa, we had the chance of being born in a Vaiṣṇava
they will ask what you are doing. When it is explained to them, they will follow
family, and in our childhood we imitated the worship of Lord Kṛṣṇa by imitating
our example while also having an understanding of what it is they are doing. We
our father. Our father encouraged us in all respects to observe all functions such
want them to learn to do things with purpose, not mechanically.
as the Ratha-yātrā and Dola-yātrā ceremonies, and he used to spend money
Be consistent in everything that you do. Children learn how to approach
liberally for distributing prasāda to us children and our friends. Our spiritual
the world by observing the behavior and values of the people around them.
master, who also took his birth in a Vaiṣṇava family, got all inspirations from
The more consistent the messages they get, the more stable they feel. Not only
his great Vaiṣṇava father, Ṭhākura Bhaktivinoda. That is the way of all lucky
do we have to be consistent in our actions, such as rising early, doing pūjā and
Vaiṣṇava families. The celebrated Mīrā Bāī was a staunch devotee of Lord Kṛṣṇa
chanting japa, but there needs to be a consistency in the following of principles
as the great lifter of Govardhana Hill. The life history of many such devotees is
and values through changing circumstances, even when it is inconvenient to us.
almost the same because there is always symmetry between the early lives of all
Ultimately, whatever we do, they will follow, and we have to make sure that
great devotees of the Lord. According to Jīva Gosvāmī, Mahārāja Parīkṣit must
all our actions are Kṛṣṇa consciousness because it is only then that we can have
have heard about the childhood pastimes of Lord Kṛṣṇa at Vrndavana, for he
more probabilities that their path back home, back to Godhead is somewhat
open for them. used to imitate the pastimes with his young playmates. According to Śrīdhara
Svāmī, Mahārāja Parīkṣit used to imitate the worship of the family Deity by
elderly members.”
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 2.3.15 purport)

What We See and Think Of We Become

Mahārāja Parīkṣit heard the pastimes of Kṛṣṇa and imitated them. Our son

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saw the worship of Kṛṣṇa and imitated that. These activities transform one’s in television images imitate those images. Mander writes, “Children’s games
consciousness from matter to spirit. Children should see Kṛṣṇa and hear about are largely based on their experiences. If they live in the country, their games
Him, because they’ll become what they see, hear, and think about. Kṛṣṇa will involve animals. If they go to movies, their games will reflect that. If they
explains this in the Bhagavad-gītā (8.6): watch television, you can see it in their games. In all cases, the characters and
creatures they are imitating are based upon the pictures of them which they
“Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, O son of
carry in their minds.”
Kunti, that state he will attain without fail.”
We must ask whether we want our children to become like a television
Prabhupāda comments: character, or like Kṛṣṇa. Do we want them to attain the spiritual world after
death, or take a body according to their television-influenced thoughts?
“A person who at the end of his life quits his body thinking of Kṛṣṇa attains the
transcendental nature of the Supreme Lord, but it is not true that a person who Association with Passion and Ignorance
thinks of something other than Kṛṣṇa attains the same transcendental state. Quoting the Vedic scripture Hari-bhakti-sudhodaya, Śrīla Prabhupāda
This is a point we should note very carefully…. Mahārāja Bhārata, although a writes,
great personality, thought of a deer at the end of his life, and so in his next life
he was transferred into the body of a deer…. Of course, one’s thoughts during “Association is very important. It acts just like a crystal stone, which will reflect
the course of one’s life accumulate to influence one’s thoughts at the moment of anything which is put before it.” And in commenting on the importance of proper
death, so this life creates one’s next life.” association for one wishing to attain ecstatic love for Kṛṣṇa, Prabhupāda writes,
“It is essential, therefore, that one constantly associate with pure devotees who
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 8.6 purport)
are engaged morning and evening in chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra. In this
Television’s ideas, sounds, and images are not of Kṛṣṇa. In Four Arguments way one will get the chance to purify his heart and develop this ecstatic pure
for the Elimination of Television, Jerry Mander writes: love for Kṛṣṇa.”

“When you are watching TV… you have opened your mind, and someone else’s (Nectar of Devotion)
daydreams have entered… Your mind is the screen for their microwave pictures. He also writes that one should strictly avoid association with persons not
Once their images are inside you, they imprint upon your memory. They become interested in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Unfortunately, television means association
yours… What’s more, the images remain in you permanently… Please bring to not with saintly people but with those in the darkness of passion and ignorance.
mind any of the following: John F. Kennedy, Milton Berle, Captain Kangaroo, In The Big Book of Home Learning, author Mary Pride writes that TV may
Captain Kirk, Henry Kissinger. Were you able to make a picture of them in your keep kids off the street corners, but “it also brings the street corners into our
head? … Now would you make the effort, please, to erase these TV people from living rooms.” Children between the ages of three and seventeen see an average
your mind? Make them go away. Erase Johnny Carson or Henry Kissinger…. of eighteen thousand acts of violence. According to Jim Trelease, author of
Once television places an image inside your head, it is yours forever.” Read-Aloud Handbook, you would have to see all thirty-seven of Shakespeare’s
Just as children absorbed in spiritual images imitate them, children absorbed plays to see as many acts of human violence (fifty-four) as you would see in just

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three evenings of prime-time television. advertisements effective in producing a materialistic mentality in viewers, but
Prabhupāda spoke of this violence, in the following conversation: the shows themselves must appeal to the advertisers. Otherwise, a network or
Prabhupāda: Dog and television and whiskey and cigarette. That’s all. local station can’t afford to produce the program. Most programming, therefore,
[Laughter] Is it not? … In India these things are entering dog, television. is designed to attract and produce the type of person who will be influenced by
Cigarettes and wine have already entered. the advertisements. This is the real violence. As Prabhupāda writes, “To train
Disciple: This is the degradation. the innocent boy to be a sense gratifier at the early age when the child is actually
Prabhupāda: Ah, yes. happy in any circumstance is the greatest violence.”
Disciple: So much sex everything you watch. Therefore, in The Nectar of Instruction Prabhupāda writes that intelligent
Prabhupāda: And not only that horrible scenes. persons interested in Kṛṣṇa consciousness should never take part in such
Disciple: Yes. activities as watching television.
Prabhupāda: Killing and like that.
Television as Intoxication
(Morning Walk—Los Angeles, 26 June, 1975)
It is bad enough that the content of most television shows is firmly in
Children are affected by this violence. Marie Winn writes in The Plug-in passion and ignorance, filling our children’s consciousness with images and
Drug: desires in these lower modes of nature. But there is also ample evidence that the
“There is no doubt that the children involved in serious crimes today are act of watching television is itself a type of intoxication, firmly in the mode of
not normal. Their histories reveal without exception a background of poverty, ignorance. “TV is a drug,” wrote Eleanor Randolph in an article in The Detroit
degradation, neglect, scholastic failure, frustration, and heavy television Free Press (May 9, 1990). “Like other addictions, such as cigarettes, booze …
viewing. But while poverty and family pathology did not appear for the first and drugs, television may be something else in our society that feels good for
time in American society in the decades between 1952 and 1972, a frightening the moment, but only makes things worse…. If someone tunes in to relieve
new breed of juvenile offender did. “It is as though our society had bred a new loneliness, they will feel even lonelier when they tune out.”
genetic strain,” writes a reporter in The New York Times, “the child-murderer Television viewers can even suffer visual-motor conflicts similar to those
who feels no remorse and is scarcely conscious of his acts….” The problem is experienced by drug users.
not that they learn how to commit violence from watching violence on television In “Crack and the Box,” an article in Esquire Magazine (May 1990), Pete
(although perhaps they sometimes do), but that television conditions them to Hamill wrote, “Television, like drugs, dominates the lives of its addicts…. One
deal with real people as if they were on a television screen.” third of a group of four- and five-year-olds would rather give up their daddy
The ultimate violence of television goes beyond desensitizing children to than television. Given a similar choice (between cocaine or heroin and father,
cruelty. It also goes beyond the violence TV often ignites in viewers, regardless mother, brother, sister, wife, husband, children, job), almost every junkie would
of program content. The ultimate violence of television is that it encourages a do the same.”
sensual, materialistic life of acquiring and consuming. Companies spend millions In a 1990 article in The Detroit News, Anne Roark wrote:
or billions of dollars for TV advertising because it’s effective. Not only are the “Television is more likely than any other leisure activity to leave people

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passive, tense and unable to concentrate…. The longer people watch, the less Until they’re absolutely drunk
able they are to concentrate. They become increasingly drowsy and bored. With all that shocking ghastly junk.
As time goes on, they grow sadder, lonelier, more irritable and more hostile.
Although it is true people are relaxed while the television set is on, when they
Educational Television?
turn it off, they are even less relaxed than before they began to watch.” Television shows or videos can sometimes be a valuable adjunct to an
Also, the content and nature of the shows and commercials may predispose educational program. From an in-depth study of the effects of TV and many
children to take shelter of chemical intoxication to solve life’s problems. After years of experience using video in a classroom, I have found that TV and video
all, TV trains its viewers to change their mood by the turn of a dial. In Read- can have their place when used with great care. Generally, if children have
Aloud Handbook, Jim Trelease comments: already studied a subject by reading about it, writing about it, and discussing it,
a video can supplement and enhance their education in ways that are difficult
“It is implicit in every one of television’s commercials that there is no problem to duplicate. But merely watching an “educational” video or TV show about,
which cannot be solved by simple artificial means. Whether the problem is for example, the desert in Southern California has little or no value. And too
anxiety or common diarrhea, nervous tension or the common cold, a simple much time spent watching any form of television or video is time lost from the
tablet or spray solves the problem…. Instead of thinking through our problems, way children learn best by seeing, hearing, and practicing. Nearly every study
television promotes the easy way. The cumulative effect of such thinking is
I’ve seen on the relationship between television and children emphasizes that
enormous when you consider that between ages 1 and 17 the average child is
television is most likely to harm, and least likely to educate, young children. A
exposed to 350,000 commercials promoting simple solutions to problems.”
good guideline is that a child under five years of age should watch no more than
Śrīla Prabhupāda once put it succinctly: one or two hours a week of educational video or television.
In fact, programs designed to educate young children have proven to have
“If we do not become hypnotized by Kṛṣṇa, then we must be hypnotized by this
the opposite effect. In Sesame Street Revisited, the New York Russell Sage
television.”
Foundation writes, «The American program ‹Sesame Street› was specially
(Morning walk—Los Angles, 26 June, 1975) designed to help disadvantaged pre-school children catch up cognitively and
verbally with those from more fortunate backgrounds. A 1975 survey suggests
In his book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl writes:
that ‹Sesame Street› widened the achievement gap, and that light viewers
We’ve watched them gaping at the screen, exhibited more gains in learning than heavy viewers.»
They loll and slip and lounge about, Marie Winn writes in The Plug-in Drug, “Poor children have not caught
And stare until their eyes pop out. up with their more advantaged peers, or even made significant gains of any
(Last week in someone’s place we saw sort, though they watch ‘Sesame Street’ faithfully year after year. Schools have
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.) not had to re-adjust their first-grade curricula to accommodate a new breed of
They sit and stare and stare and sit well-prepared, ‘Sesame Street’-wise children with higher levels of language
Until they’re hypnotized by it, maturity… Their language skills do not show any significant or permanent

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gains as they progress through school.” Is it that we can’t throw away our TV, or that we don’t really want to? We
My own experience as a teacher bears this out. I could always tell the can stop our children from running in the street or playing with kitchen knives
children who had watched much so-called educational television. They were why not from watching TV? Are we so attached to the box as a babysitter that
less responsive to teaching, had a shorter attention span, were less interested in we have no concern about its material and spiritual effects on our children?
learning to read, and had a difficult time adjusting to any disciplined learning. The Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam states that one should not become a parent unless he
It is far better to prepare a child for school by reading to him and letting can liberate his children from the material world. The price of life without TV
him see you read. “Compared to reading, television is still the more passive of seems a small one to pay.
the two activities,” says Jim Trelease in Read-Aloud Handbook. “In reading, More advice from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:
educators point out, a child must actively use a variety of skills involving
The most important thing we’ve learned,
sounds, spelling rules, blendings, as well as constructing mental images of the
So far as children are concerned,
scene described in the book. Television requires no such mental activity.”
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Can videos be used for spiritual education? We have a large and growing
Them near your television set
library of Kṛṣṇa conscious videos available for our children. Yet even
these should be used only rarely, especially when children are very young. Or better still, just don’t install
Prabhupāda wanted our young children to play games about Kṛṣṇa, running The idiotic thing at all.
and jumping outside. As they mature, our children should spend the bulk Children Without TV?
of their time chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa, going to school, or doing some practical
In 1987, several parents at one of our ISKCON centers in England met
service. Certainly entertainment centered on Kṛṣṇa and His incarnations was
to discuss the problem of television. Mādhavī Devī Dāsī related how, when
an important feature of Vedic life. But the average child today watches six or
seven hours of television daily. Is there any history of a society that entertained her children were very young, they were satisfied with a small variety of
its children for seven hours a day? Kṛṣṇa conscious videos. As time went by they wanted more and more variety.
Gradually it got out of hand as she let them fill in with materialistic programs.
Parental Control Can’t or Won’t In desperation she got rid of the TV, apprehensive of how the children would
In The Big Book of Home Learning, Mary Pride writes, “Do you really want react. To her surprise, they never seemed to miss it and have rarely asked for it.
to know how it is that some mothers of seven can find time to write books or Children can play. They can read. They can garden. They can learn useful
make patchwork quilts or run Bed and Breakfast operations while other mothers crafts. They can worship the household Deity.
of one don’t even get around to making the bed? Those who can, do. Those who
watch TV (more than 15 minutes or so a day), can’t.” So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
An article in The New York Times Magazine (Feb. 2, 1975) said about such Go throw your TV set away,
parents: «There is an immediate remedy available that does not seem to have And in its place you can install
occurred to them turn off the set.» A lovely bookshelf on the wall.

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As the children get a higher taste for Kṛṣṇa conscious engagement, they will
have no interest in watching mundane movies or television. We want them to
The Magic Wand
come to the standard that Śrīla Prabhupāda set in his personal life, as he relates By Tāriṇī Rādhā Devī Dāsī
in the following story:
“There was an incident in my life. I was, of course, at that time a householder.
So one friend was going to the cinema with his family, and he saw me. I was
Stories of Krishna Enchant, Inspire, and Educate Our
in the street, and he stopped his car and asked me, ‘Come. We are going to
Kids
cinema.’ So I refused, ‘If you give me one thousand dollars, still I shall not go Sometimes I curse myself for having the talent to tell stories because my
to the cinema.’ So he dragged me. He took me to the cinema house, but I never kids don’t spare me this task even at the end of a very long tiring day! But most
entered. I came back. You see? Because it was detestful.” (Lecture on Śrīmad times, I am grateful to be able to tell stories because they are so enjoyable even
Bhāgavatam 1.5.9-11—New Vrindhavan, 6 June, 1969) when we repeat them for the n’th time. Of course this is possible only because
Another time Prabhupāda said, we narrate the pastimes of Lord Kṛṣṇa, which are transcendental. Contrast this
with having to tell the story of the Three Little Pigs or Cinderella every day!
“The sign of a devotee is that the devotee is no more interested with material One lady, eager to make her child a whiz, would sing ABC to put her to
enjoyment. So these young boys and girls, they do not go to cinema. Why?
sleep. But how many times can you sing ABC? One day she got totally fed up
They don’t want this! … They don’t want this material happiness. … That is the
singing ABC and became frustrated because her child would not respond to
test. When one becomes detestful of material enjoyment, you will know or he’ll
any other tune. Then I sang Hare Kṛṣṇa to the same tune and the child went to
know, personally, how much he is advanced in spiritual life.”
sleep almost immediately. In this method, both the singer and the child gained
(Lecture on Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 3.25.1—Bombay, 1st November, 1974) pleasure.
Similarly, stories of Kṛṣṇa, being spiritual in nature do not tire the speaker
or the sincere listener. Lord Caitanya, during His stay in Purī, would hear the
histories of Prahlāda and Dhruva everyday and experience ecstasy remembering
the devotion of these child devotees.
Narrating the pastimes of Kṛṣṇa to children can begin very early. Fortunately,
by the mercy of Śrīla Prabhupāda and the tireless services of his talented
followers, ISKCON has a great album of paintings and children’s books to
engage our children. We can teach children to concentrate on Kṛṣṇa when they
are as young as six months by showing pictures of Kṛṣṇa that we have on the
wall, pointing out the birds and animals, Kṛṣṇa’s sweet smile and ornaments,
and other features in the picture. The child may not understand immediately
what is being said; it may even seem that the child is not responding; but

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actually we are making very deep impressions on the child. This activity also desire to be “friends” with Them. They understand that they should not be like
makes it practically easy to feed the child without having to run after the child the misbehaving demons that get killed but be devotees who are protected and
throughout the house or the yard. cared for by this great Hero. Thus discipline naturally sets in.
As the child learns to sit in one place we can introduce books with large At our programs for children we never preach moral values. We simply
pictures and start telling simple pastimes. Once the child begins to talk we can tell stories of Kṛṣṇa, we engage the kids in activities related to Kṛṣṇa and the
narrate the stories in a very simple way making it possible for the child to recite first response we get from parents is that the child is so much more obedient,
the same. This helps us to spend quality Kṛṣṇa conscious time with the children.
respectful and peaceful. Since Lord Rāma, Lord Kṛṣṇa and their great devotees
When my daughter, Bhāgyavatī Rādhā, returned home from her kindergarden
demonstrate proper behavior in their lives, children naturally imbibe appropriate
class, she picked up her toy phone and told me to speak to her classmate. I
spoke generally to Śreyā (her friend) asking if she had taken lunch, was she behavior. Story telling thus acts as a magic wand that brings about discipline
going to sleep now, etc. But then Bhāgyā had me call another classmate, then and love for the Supreme Lord at the same time.
another… Finally, since it was getting mundane and the game was not stopping, These days we read regularly reports of violent behavior in children caused
I decided to add a Kṛṣṇa conscious touch. I picked up the phone, called Mayank by exposure to violent scenes in movies and TV serials. When we consider
(another friend), and said, “Mayank do you know? Rāma and Lakṣmaṇa went the majority of the pastimes of Lord Kṛṣṇa and His incarnations, they are also
to the forest. There they saw evil woman Tataka. Tātaka said, “Boo... boo!” actually stories of fighting. But the effect on the children is very different. Śrīla
Rāma shot an arrow. Evil woman Tataka fell down, bapoo!” Each sentence
Prabhupāda explains this in a lecture as follows:
had an action to go with it. By the time I had called all of Bhāgyā’s classmates
and told them the story, Bhāgyā had a story to tell people with action! It was a “Kṛṣṇa’s this fighting līlā, pastimes, and the rāsa-līlā pastime, they are all the
happily spent afternoon. (Until my children learnt the words “kill” and “die” same because Kṛṣṇa is the center. Kṛṣṇa being center, whatever in connection
from schoolmates, I was only using the words “fell down” to indicate death.) with Kṛṣṇa is there, that becomes also Kṛṣṇa.”
Who is it that doesn’t like to hear stories? Prabhupāda even gave us the (Lecture on Bhagavad-gītā 1.4-5 – London, 10 July, 1973)
sweet order to listen to the Kṛṣṇa book as we eat. Kids love stories so much that
just to go on listening they will eat more than what they normally do! When Thus since Kṛṣṇa is pure goodness, when we remember Him, we slowly
kids don’t come for their meal even after repeated calls, just sit with a Kṛṣṇa reduce our degrees of passion and ignorance. Of course, the fighting pastimes
story book, start reading, and you will see them rushing down. Getting kids of Lord Kṛṣṇa also need to be balanced by the narration of His naughty pastimes
addicted to stories of Kṛṣṇa has great advantages. such as Dāmodara-līlā, playing with the cowherd friends, and the histories of
devotees who showed exemplary tolerance such as Prahlāda Mahārāja.
Appreciating Krishna: Easy Method to Discipline Once at the weekly Bhakta Prahlāda School (BPS) program, one child asked
We know that of the nine methods of devotion, śravaṇaṁ or hearing about why we were only telling Kṛṣṇa stories and not Rāma stories. As I answered,
the Lord is the topmost as there begins our appreciation and attachment to the I could feel real gratitude to Kṛṣṇa for having enacted so many easy and little
Lord. Once the children realize what a great hero Rāma/Kṛṣṇa is, then, they pastimes to narrate to children. How many childhood pastimes of Lord Rāma

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are written down by Vālmīki? Nobody knows more than one or two. But Kṛṣṇa the hotel room, vowed that she would listen to her parents in the future.”
is so kind that He has given us so many little interesting pastimes to tell children A story such as this, which describes the distress that came from not
and thus arouse their devotion for Him. Kṛṣṇa’s kindness in giving liberation listening to the parents, and the reward that the obedient child gets, entices a
and the eternal abode to Aghāsura and Pūtanā respectively, help children child to follow the example of the obedient child. Stories objectively told can
understand very easily the concept of body and soul and how even in killing, cause a change of mind more easily than a one-hour lecture that the child will
Kṛṣṇa actually blesses. simply not wait to hear. Parents should use some creativity to construct stories
As children grow older, they are going to look for newer stories. Parents appropriate to the disciplinary needs of their children.
should readily be equipped with the pastimes of great devotees of the Lord such Here is another example, more suited to our visits to the temple.
as the Ālvārs, the unlimited devotees of Panduranga etc. These pastimes also “Pabli and Puduli are brothers. Once when they visited the temple with their
make the child understand very firmly that the Deity of the Lord is non-different parents, four-year-old Puduli demanded to buy something from the gift shop. His
from the Lord. We are also so blessed that Deities in ISKCON temples such father agreed and said that he would take him after the ārati, but Puduli wanted
as Lord Narasiṁha and Lord Jagannātha in Māyāpur enact so many pastimes to go right away skipping the ārati. He was making so much noise that father had
making us realize that the Lord is never far from us. His pastimes with devotees to take him away. When they came back from the shop, the ārati had finished
do not belong to just bygone ages but are a daily reality. and Pabli was washing his hand. Puduli rushed to him and enquired what he
Once the children get into the habit of listening to stories, it is easy to use had eaten. Pabli said that the pūjārī had given all devotees very tasty rabadī and
stories to teach moral values or instill necessary qualities. According to the because it was flowing out of his hands he had eaten it all without saving any for
need, we can be creative and construct stories to convey these. Take for example his brother. Puduli was very disappointed that he had missed out on his favorite
this simple story: prasāda. Father explained that he should have listened to him and waited for the
“Sumukhī and Dumukhī are two sisters. While Sumukhī is obedient, ārati to be over before going to the shop. Puduli decided that the next time he
Dumukhī is stubborn and independent. Once when their father was going out should wait and not leave the temple hall before the ārati was over.”
of town, Dumukhī insisted on traveling with him. Mother told Dumukhī that Narrating Kṛṣṇa stories before bedtime helps the child to remain in Kṛṣṇa
father was going to be busy at meetings and would not be able to take care of consciousness as they go into slumber and in the morning we can have fun
her. She would have to stay alone in the hotel room. Dumukhī would not listen hearing them narrate funny dreams where the Lord would have appeared in
and wanted to have her way. To let her learn her lesson the hard way, father took some way. Just this morning, my small son Nitāi said, “A duck got hurt in
Dumukhī along with him. Since he had to attend to his office duties, he would
the knee and foot. He was placed on a swing. Lord Rāma was lying down on
lock her up in the hotel room and attend to her only during meal times. Needless
another swing. Lord Rāma is Lord Viṣṇu, isn’t it? So with His hand from here
to say, Dumukhī was thoroughly bored. On the other hand, Sumukhī who had
stayed back at home was visited suddenly by her uncle. He took his children (indicating where the second arm on the right chest would be), he was swinging
along with Sumukhī around the city. They had a great time. When Dumukhī the duck!” What a weird dream! But the pleasure of remembering Lord Rāma
came back home she was very sorry to have heard that she had missed the good in his sleep is enough to keep our whole day happy! And how wonderful to
times with their uncle and remembering how boring it had been to be alone in realize that the Lord loves all creatures!

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Test of Education through their desks or touch their things without their permission.

By Urmilā Devī Dāsi How to See Others

Third, ātmavat sarva-bhūteṣu: an educated person sees other living creatures
In the last week of the last year of school, students sweat at the thought as he sees himself. Following the golden rule, he treats others as he wants to be
of the final exam. When they’ve passed their exams and earned their degrees, treated. “Others” does not mean just one’s own family, one’s fellow citizens, or
they’ll be entitled to call themselves educated. even just other human beings. As Śrīla Prabhupāda would point out, even cruel,
But the Vedic culture has a different standard. The sage Cāṇakya, whose fierce animals such as tigers love their own cubs. It is when a person applies
proverbs Śrīla Prabhupāda would often quote, tested a person’s education by the golden rule even to an enemy or a defenseless animal that Cāṇakya would
three questions, questions of character and ethics. award him a passing grade.
A person educated to see others as though himself will naturally be a
Women as Mother vegetarian. He’ll think, “I don’t like pain, so why should I give pain to an
Test one: mātṛ-vat para-dāreṣu. In the ideal system of education, a properly animal just so I can eat?” He’ll be honest: “I don’t like to be cheated, so why
trained young man should be able to look upon any woman other than his wife should I cheat others?” And he’ll always speak beneficially: “I like to hear the
as if she were his mother. In other words, his mind and heart should be free from truth, I don’t like to be insulted, and I want to hear what is useful to me. Let me
desire for sex outside of marriage. Similarly, a girl should see men other than speak to others that way.” A truly educated person, therefore, will try not to hurt
her husband as her father. anyone, even by his words.
In Vedic society, boys were trained to address women as “Mother.” Members A student who knows the law of karma knows that what I do to others will
of the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement teach this same etiquette today. Lord be done to me. Even out of self-interest, therefore, he will follow the principle
Jesus taught a similar principle when he said that a man who lusts after a woman of treating others as though himself. And by understanding the law of karma, the
other than his wife has already committed adultery in his heart. student will gain respect for the power, justice, mercy, and love of the Supreme
Lord. Then the student can go beyond ethics to become transcendentally
Garbage in the Street
educated.
The second test of real education is how the graduate views the property
of others. Cāṇakya says, para-dravyeṣu loṣṭravat: a learned person looks upon Krishna Defines “Learned”
others’ property as he would stones or garbage in the street. Kṛṣṇa defines a learned person as one who sees all living beings spiritually
A child should be trained to be averse to touching another’s things without as part of Him. And Kṛṣṇa says that ultimately a wise person surrenders to Him,
permission. If I see one of our students touch something on another child’s seeing Him as all there is.
desk, I ask him, “Is that yours? Do you have the owner’s permission to touch Unfortunately, in this dark age of Kali thousands of schools award diplomas
that? If not, put it down.” I’m careful to show the same respect for the students’ without considering the ethical and spiritual character of their students. Do
property that I expect them to show for each other’s and for mine. I don’t look students at a typical university have a heart free from desire for sex outside

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marriage? Have they learned to respect the property and feelings of others?
We read of date rape and rampant theft on campus, and we see people with
What’s a Child to Read
advanced degrees who are also advanced in meat-eating and cruelty. By Śrī Rāma Dāsa
But we need not be resigned to letting our children be falsely assured of
knowledge from a system that by Vedic standards teaches ignorance. Rather, Parents often write and ask for advice about reading material for their
let us raise a generation of students protected by ethical and spiritual wisdom. children. They want to expose their children to as much Kṛṣṇa consciousness as
possible (and limit their exposure to materialism), but run into several practical
problems, especially: (1) there is a shortage of good Kṛṣṇa conscious books for
children, and (2) many kids will read almost anything they can get their hands
on.
So parents wonder what they can do to see that their children’s reading
fosters Kṛṣṇa consciousness. How can we exercise reasonable guidance without
being oppressive? And, perhaps more important, how can we teach children
discrimination when they read?
By discrimination I mean looking into something deeply enough to
understand how it will influence one’s thinking and life. I mean going beyond
the superficial mindset modern society conditions us to, a mindset in which
most problems can be solved within the thirty minutes of an average television
show, in which buying toys can give one true satisfaction, in which there’s no
clear right and wrong, no one knows the Absolute Truth, and where the best we
can do is come up with our own reality.
Since most of our children are exposed hundreds of times a day to the
full force of corporate marketing and political/social propaganda, gross and
subtle, we must teach them how to discriminate beyond the superficial and
oversimplified.
The first step toward insuring that your kid reads acceptable books is this:
before you give your child a book, read it yourself. Too often I’ve seen parents
and teachers turn children loose in the library to select whatever appeals to
them, not realizing that many innocent-looking books subvert the values they’re
trying to teach them at home or in school.
Here are a few points to consider when evaluating a book:

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1. Theme. Stories are meant to be enjoyable. But most stories also teach of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries often portrayed religion unfavorably.
something, even though the author may not directly say what it is. The plot, They were struggling to expose religious institutions that were rife with
characters, conflicts, and outcome usually support one main idea, often corruption and foolishness, and sentimental followers who allowed themselves
philosophical or moral. This theme is the essence of a book. Parents should to be exploited in the name of spirituality.
ascertain whether or not a book’s theme is compatible with a God-centered, 8. HUMANISM. Humanism pervades modern society. It is so much a part of
Kṛṣṇa conscious view of life. Western education that we may not recognize it, even when it’s blatant.
Roughly, humanism means faith that the intellect of man is sufficient to
2. HEROES. Children naturally identify with the heroes or main characters
solve all problems for the individual and society. Man can achieve anything
of a story. When you look at a book, ask yourself: will you be satisfied seeing
he puts his mind and efforts to. Humanism exalts man’s supposed superiority
your children grow up emulating the qualities of those characters? You’ll rarely
over nature and the irrelevance of God’s will and influence. It makes man the
find characters who closely resemble devotees. But at least you can look for
measure of all things.
those who demonstrate good moral behavior, appreciation for God and His If a book pushes humanism, avoid it.
representatives, respect for authority, and so on. In summary, the main question should be, “What benefit will my child get
3. MORALITY. The best we can expect from many books is that they will teach from reading this book?” Does it emphasize spiritual values or give good moral
children to behave morally. Look for books that show a clear sense of right and guidance? Is it well-written literature? Does it offer useful information or ideas?
wrong, ultimately having its roots in the laws of God. Avoid books that push Does it reinforce Kṛṣṇa conscious principles or values?
“situation ethics,” where there is no absolute right and wrong and everyone Schools should take the evaluation process one step further. As mentioned
must come up with his or her own standards of morality for every situation. above, we must teach our children to evaluate books themselves to look beyond
4. GOOD AND EVIL. In the Vedic conception of drama, a work should have a the surface and judge for themselves the value of what they read, hear, and
happy ending where good is rewarded and evil punished. This leaves the reader watch.
with a sense of satisfaction and a feeling of faith in the purpose of life. Books
without happy endings often leave children feeling empty, wondering if there is
any order and justice in life.
5. WISDOM. Does the book show respect for knowledge and wisdom? Does
it treat spiritually-minded characters favorably, or as “naive sentimentalists”?
6. VIEW OF GOD. Does the author present God as impersonal, either directly
or indirectly? Does he or she hint that perhaps God is not there or that if He is,
He has no influence on the world’s affairs? Does the book equate service to man
with service to God? We need books that do better than that.
7. VIEW OF RELIGION. What is the author’s attitude toward religion? Writers

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Building a Strong Krishna

Conscious Foundation
 3 | Building a Strong Kṛṣṇa Conscious Foundation Our Future Hope

Children and the Holy Name that of all his instructions the daily chanting of sixteen good rounds is the most
important. Chanting has the power to protect us from māyā’s subtle intrusions
By Aruddha Devī Dāsī and keep us fixed on the bhakti path.
The story of Ajāmila in the Sixth Canto of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam provides a
I believe the holy name is the essence of our children’s education. The good example of how māyā can affect us in subtle ways, even if we are trained
scriptures say that Kali-yuga is full of quarrel, hypocrisy, anxiety, and temptation, in brahminical culture. This story is relevant for us as we homeschool our
and thus it is difficult to approach the Lord through the processes of meditation, children and try to instill in them good character. Even with this training will
temple worship, and sacrifice—methods that were easier in previous ages. our children always remain safe from the lures of illicit sex, drug abuse, and
But Kṛṣṇa and the holy name are non-different and in the age of Kali, Kṛṣṇa other temptations?
incarnates as the holy name to make it easy for us to approach Him. As Ajāmila was walking back from the forest one day, he saw a prostitute
Understanding the perils of Kali-yuga, Śrīla Prabhupāda asked his followers engaged in sex with a man. His mind became agitated, and he left his chaste
to chant sixteen good rounds of the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra every day. He wife and went after the prostitute, bringing her into his home. He then engaged
knew that without daily chanting of the holy name it would be practically in abominable activities and tried to satisfy the prostitute with material things,
impossible for people to follow the four regulative principles. In the 1960s, which he acquired by dishonest means. Prabhupāda explains that māyā in the
when Prabhupāda first came to America, people were unwilling to give up form of attraction to the opposite sex is so strong that anyone who does not take
their sinful habits. They saw free sex and drugs and other forms of intoxication shelter of the holy name is apt to fall down:
as a way to achieve peace and spirituality. Prabhupāda simply introduced the
“When Cupid attacks somebody and one becomes too much attracted by lust,
chanting of the holy name, and as their hearts gradually became purified, they
all his education, all his culture, all his knowledge, becomes stunned. Therefore
gave up sinful habits and became sādhus. Even today people are surprised to
one has to avoid this society.... Therefore, from the very beginning of life a
see the transformation chanting the holy name brings about.
boy is sent to gurukula for good association. Still there are many gurukulas
Chanting is like a detergent that scrubs the heart clean of all misgivings. The
in India, a spiritual master training some boys in spiritual life. That has also
holy name alone has the power to overcome the degraded aspects of today’s
become polluted. So many things ... This is Kali-yuga. Therefore the only way
society. This was why Lord Caitanya came five hundreds of years ago—to kill
of deliverance from this bewilderment is chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa,
people’s demoniac mentality with the weapon of saṅkīrtana, the congregational
Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa ..:’
chanting of the holy name. Chanting has the power to infuse in the hearts of
even the most fallen soul’s stirrings of bhakti. Imagine the power the holy can (Lecture on Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 06.01.56-62—Surat 3 January, 1971)
have on the hearts of devotees and their children who have good association
Prabhupāda explains in the same lecture that even though Ajāmila was
and training.
properly trained, he was still attracted to illicit sex because of his spiritual
Even though we train our children to become devotees with good character
immaturity:
as they get older, mundane association in schools, colleges, and the workplace
can still affect them. Śrīla Prabhupāda was well aware of this, so he decreed “So these things are being shown regularly in the cinema. What character will

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be formed of the young men? By seeing once, this Ajāmila, he fell down so not the other way around. We know this from the examples of Sudāmā Brāhmaṇa,
much, and our boys and girls are seeing these things every day in the cinema. Dhruva Mahārāja, and many other great devotees.
So what kind of character you can expect from them? These are the instruction So how can we develop in our children an attraction for chanting the holy
to be taken from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam.” names? Śrīla Prabhupāda’s formula was simple: if children simply follow their
(Lecture on Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 06.01.56-62—Surat 3 January, 1971) elders and rise early for the morning program of japa, kīrtana, reading Śrīmad-
Bhāgavatam, and eating prasāda, they will become pure devotees. Here are
Is proper training simply a waste of time then, given the cultural climate some ways we can infuse our children with love for the holy name.
in which our children are growing up and the immorality to which they are
exposed? Not if we train them to chant the holy name. Again, we see this in Daily Practice
Ajāmila’s case. Although he succumbed to immoral behavior in his youth, he A daily morning program is essential to developing a taste for chanting.
was saved at the end of his life when he called for his son, Nārāyaṇa. Even When we come before the Deities and sing for Their pleasure, we become
though Ajāmila was calling for his son, the Lord’s name is so powerful that purified and naturally develop attraction for Their names. We are creatures of
Viṣṇu’s agents immediately arrived on the scene to protect him, and they habit, and our minds can be disciplined to think about Kṛṣṇa all day and not
stopped the Yamadūtas from taking him to hell for punishment. about temptation by following a routine program. Śrīla Prabhupāda said that
As parents we should not only be concerned with giving our children a good rising early every day and singing the Lord’s names are the only austerities that
academic education; we should also give them a taste for and attachment to the can be expected of children. Other than this, they should be allowed to play, eat
holy names. Kṛṣṇa is the source of both material and spiritual knowledge, so if as much prasāda as they like, and study.
we teach our children to serve Kṛṣṇa, they will naturally and effortlessly receive Both good association and training are necessary to help children chant
the opulence’s of knowledge, wealth, fame, strength, and renunciation. Śrīmad- nicely. Bad association in the form of television and video games should be
Bhāgavatam tells us: avoided at all costs because they distract the mind from Kṛṣṇa. The spiritual
progress our children make through chanting will have less effect or even be
“All the demigods and their exalted qualities, such as religion, knowledge, and
counteracted by bad association. We should be careful what we expose them to.
renunciation, become manifest in the body of one who has developed unalloyed
devotion for the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Vāsudeva. On the other CHANTING JAPA: I gave my sons bead bags when they were three years
hand, a person devoid of devotional service and engaged in material activities old, and when they turned six I encouraged them to chant one or two rounds
has no good qualities. Even if he is adept at the practice of mystic yoga or a day. We always chanted together. I did not let them chant japa on their own
the honest endeavor of maintaining his family and relatives, he must be driven because they could develop bad habits, and chanting could become a chore or
by his own mental speculations and must engage in the service of the Lord’s burden to them. As we chanted our japa I would inspire them to chant better,
external energy. How can there be any good qualities in such a man?” explaining to them that Kṛṣṇa would dance on their tongues if they chanted
purely. This fascinated them and they tried to chant better.
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 5.18.12)
Śrīla Prabhupāda did not want children to be forced to chant japa. They
In other words, material qualifications naturally follow spiritual qualities, should not see japa as a punishment but rather as a fun way to talk to Kṛṣṇa

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and develop a personal relationship with Him. In other words, when children experience with japa, and they begin chanting regularly after the event.
misbehave, we should not punish them by making them chant an extra round. Over the last few years, several other temples have picked up on the idea
Similarly, we should not threaten them with extra chanting: “If you don’t do and are conducting their own New Year’s Japathons. The atmosphere is very
this, you will have to chant an extra round.” sweet, and everyone starts the year feeling encouraged.
However, Prabhupāda did want children to be encouraged to chant japa— A family in Mauritius who are homeschooling their two boys, Kartik,
even small children. One time he became upset when small children were not thirteen, and Uddhava, ten, have been successful in introducing japa in their
allowed to use japa beads while chanting because they were disrespecting them: home. Every Ekādaśī the family members wake at 2:30 a.m. and start chanting
japa, continuing until 2:30 p.m., with breaks for mangala-ārati and prasāda.
“I have just been informed by my servant, Śrutakīrti, that the young children, When the parents first started this program, they were hesitant to wake their
under twelve, are not allowed to use their japa beads while chanting. This children so early, but the children insisted, so the following Ekādaśī they all
policy is not good. Why this change has been made? I never said they should chanted together. Kartik and Uddhava each chanted forty-eight rounds, and their
not use their beads. That is our business. They must be taught how to respect parents each chanted sixty-four rounds. Pleased with the success of chanting
their beads. How they can learn unless they use them?” japa as a family, they have now opened their home for other devotees to come
(Letter to Yadunandana Dāsa, 1 May, 1975) and do the same.
Small children who are encouraged in a positive way will learn to chant
One good way to encourage children to chant is to have them participate in japa by imitating the adults around them. Although they may start slowly, once
japa get-togethers with friends. In Boise on each Ekādaśī, devotees get together they are twelve or thirteen years old, they will increase the number of their
to chant japa for one hour and then honor prasāda. This encourages even small rounds and begin thinking about accepting initiation from a spiritual master. It
children to chant because it is a friendly, intimate setting, and they see other is valuable for our children to have the shelter of a spiritual master before they
children chanting. live away from home for the first time.
Similarly, every year on January 1 we celebrate a “Japathon” when all the Underlying the rules and regulations of good chanting, the most important
devotees and congregational members come together to begin the New Year by principle is to approach Kṛṣṇa with love and devotion. If we miss this spirit
chanting as many rounds as possible. We held our first New Year’s Japathon of chanting, then the rules become a burden. As parents, we should give our
festival in 1998 for the spiritual benefit of the citizens of our community. In the children unconditional love and then encourage them to give that love to
beginning years, our goal was to chant as many holy names as there were people Kṛṣṇa. In this way, they will grow up to become strong devotees, fixed in their
in the city of Boise, but gradually we increased our goal to the population of relationship with the holy names.
the state of Idaho. In 2010, about eighty participants, including twenty children,
chanted over 1,500 rounds—2.5 million names—far exceeding our goal of 1.25
million names. Shyam, age eleven, chanted sixty rounds, and other children
such as Saraḥ, Angela, and Vrinda chanted thirty-five, thirty, and twenty-five
rounds respectively. For some children, the Japathon provides their very first

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Morning Program breakfast we can read them stories from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. Choose a story
like the one about Prahlāda Mahārāja, and read only the translations. Discuss
By Aruddha Devī Dāsi with them the finer points of the story, gauging the depth of your discussion by
their maturity.
An enthusiastic daily morning program at home is important when we are The length of the morning program can be adjusted depending on the age
homeschooling our children. We are all creatures of habit, and if we inculcate of the children. You can shorten the program to ten or fifteen minutes or do
good spiritual discipline in children they will maintain it throughout their adult whatever is practical. It is important to keep the children’s experience of Kṛṣṇa
lives. Also, there is great benefit to starting the day with remembering the Lord, consciousness positive and enjoyable. Simplifying the program (ārati with
chanting His holy name, and reading His books. These practices make the mind only incense and a flower, for example) is all right for small children, who
peaceful and happy. Our children can then think intelligently about spiritual generally have short attention spans. However, we should not dispense with
matters. The morning program will also help them control their restless minds the morning program altogether simply because it is too troublesome or the
and reduce misbehavior. If we attend our morning program with sincerity and children are reluctant to participate. We should be determined to start the day
faith and then maintain a Kṛṣṇa conscious mood throughout the day, we can with chanting and hearing about Kṛṣṇa. Besides being spiritually beneficial,
actually have little saints running around the house—naughty like all children, the morning program keeps the family together. Among non-devotees it is
but oftentimes in a transcendental way. common to plan family weekends around activities such as watching a favorite
To establish a morning program at home we need to maintain a home altar show on television together, bowling, or going to church, but for devotees such
with devotional pictures or Deities, preferably Gaura-Nitāi. We also need a togetherness can be accomplished twice a day, every day. The family that chants
ārati tray with all the items of worship, along with a whisk, peacock fan, and and reads together stays together!
conch. Try to put the children to bed early enough that they can wake up at a
reasonably early time. After they have had sufficient sleep according to their
age, wake them up and help them shower and dress for the morning program.
Try to never miss a day. If the children are late in waking because of a late-night
festival or some other occasion, then when they do wake up, conduct the entire
morning program of maṅgala-ārati, tulasī-pūjā, Deity greeting, and guru-pūjā,
even if you have already held all these events earlier. The children can take
turns dressing as pujaris or leading the kīrtana. Always be enthusiastic at the
morning program, and dance and chant loudly.
After the ārati is over, encourage your children to offer food to the Deities
so they understand the importance of offering and eating only prasāda. If they
are old enough they can chant mantras or they can say their own sweet prayer
asking Kṛṣṇa to please eat so that everyone can benefit from His prasāda. After

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Deity Worship for Children “The children should always be instructed by taking advantage of their playful
mood and teaching them to play Kṛṣṇa games like pretending to be cowherd
By Aruddha Devī Dāsi boys, cows, peacocks, or demons, and in this way if they always think of Kṛṣṇa
by playing just like they are actually present in association with Kṛṣṇa, then
An important element in preparing the home for the homeschooled child is they will become Kṛṣṇa conscious very quickly. In addition, there should be a
the introduction of Deity worship. Deity worship is essential in the education little ABC, then prasāda, then worshiping the Deity, then more playing Kṛṣṇa
and training of our children because it trains them to be clean and punctual and games, some kīrtana, a little more ABC, like that. In this way, always keep their
to focus the mind on Kṛṣṇa. Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura emphasizes the importance minds and bodies engaged in different activities because children are restless
of Deity worship in Jaiva-dharma: by nature so they will want to change often.”
“The religions that have no provision for Deity worship face the danger (Letter to Stokakṛṣṇa Dāsa —13June, 1972)
that those children born into the religion and those just beginning spiritual
life—both of whom may have little or no understanding of or deep faith in the Prabhupāda gives his own childhood as an example.
Godhead—may become overtly materialistic and even develop aversion toward “So children, they generally imitate the parents’ habits or activities. So
the Supreme Lord as a result of the absence of a Deity form on which to fix fortunately we had the opportunity of getting such a father. So we are imitating
their minds. Therefore Deity worship is the foundation of religion for general our father. In my childhood I imitated my father. He was worshiping Deity of
humanity.” (Jaiva-dharma, chapter 11) Kṛṣṇa. So I asked him, ‘My dear father, I shall worship. Give me the Deity of
Prabhupāda also recommended Deity worship for all householders. Kṛṣṇa: So he gave me a little Deity of Kṛṣṇa and Rādhā and I was imitating. So
Householders who worship Deities at home can bring up their children in a beginning of life ... So these are actually facts. Mahārāja Parīkṣit also, he was
pristine atmosphere in which they demonstrate practically how to love Kṛṣṇa. playing with Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa dolls. Just like Mīrā Bāī. She was playing with Kṛṣṇa
Parents can teach their children the importance of bowing down, chanting, doll and later on she became a very high-grade devotee. So these chances are
dancing, and performing services such as cleaning the temple, making flower there.”
garlands, decorating the Deities, and observing festivals. Right from the (Lecture in New York—16September, 1966)
beginning, children can be taught to offer everything to the Deities before using
it themselves, including food, new clothing, and their talents. In this way a child Prabhupāda writes of Uddhava’s early Deity worship in the Śrīmad-
Bhāgavatam:
can develop natural attraction for the Lord.
Children have a natural tendency to play, and instead of using this urge “From his very birth, Uddhava was a natural devotee of Lord Kṛṣṇa, or a nitya-
frivolously they can play with Kṛṣṇa, decorate Him, feed Him, and worship siddha, a liberated soul. From natural instinct he used to serve Lord Kṛṣṇa,
Him. When they are young they can worship and play with Kṛṣṇa dolls, and even in his childhood. He used to play with dolls in the form of Kṛṣṇa, he would
as they mature they can assist their parents in Deity worship. In a letter to his serve the dolls by dressing, feeding, and worshiping Them, and thus he was
disciple, Prabhupāda wrote: constantly absorbed in the play of transcendental realization. These are the

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signs of an eternally liberated soul.”

Ślokas ¯ Why Memorize Them
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 3.2.2 purport)
By Tāriṇī Rādhā Devī Dāsi
We introduced Deity worship to our boys when they were three and five years
old. They had their own four-inch Gaura-Nitāi Deities, to whom they became Reciting ślokas that glorify Lord Kṛṣṇa can awaken the soul to eternal
attached. I was with them when they did their worship. We would take several knowledge.
hours to dress, bathe, and decorate Them with ornaments. Then we would make “Today, as I came by bus in the morning,” reported our ethics lecturer, “a
an offering followed by ārati and kīrtana. Sometimes they would spill water or person was repeating a śloka. What is the purpose of such muttering? What
drop paraphernalia, but that is to be expected of small children. Overall they is the use of such repetition of words such as modaka hasta (with the modaka
took care of Gaura-Nitāi with love and respect. What was amazing was how sweet in hand)? This is a silly practice.”
they were absorbed for two to three hours without being distracted. They loved This statement came as a real surprise to me as I had been taught many
the worship. Anything they ate or drank, they wanted to offer to their Deities, ślokas as a child and I enjoyed chanting them too whether I understood them
and they would remind us to do the same. It created a transcendental mood in or not. I did not tire from repeating them over and over again. Now to hear
the home, and it was easy for them to understand that everything should be done a critical statement like this, that too in the ethics period of our college life,
for Kṛṣṇa’s pleasure. If they were disobedient it did not take them long to give ridiculing the central point of Vedic life was a shock to me.
it up because of their desire to please Gaura-Nitāi.
When children engage in Deity worship they understand that Kṛṣṇa is Effect on the Mind
a person, a friend, and their worshipful object. He is approachable and can Chanting forms the basis of Vedic life. Whether in the earlier ages of fire
reciprocate with His worshipers. Deity worship is a natural way of evoking love sacrifices or the present age, chanting, either of Vedic mantras or the holy name
of Godhead in children. No amount of explaining can do the same. is very important. The Vedic verses are transcendental and not made of mundane
Another side benefit of Deity worship is that children learn the importance sound. Repeating these verses does not cause boredom but increases peace in
of cleanliness. They learn that they must bathe before they touch the Deities, the mind. The powerful effects of chanting mantras are glorified not only in the
and that even though Kṛṣṇa is their friend, He is not to be treated casually or like Vedic literature but also by psychological researchers of the modern period.
an ordinary person. It becomes easy to make Kṛṣṇa the most important family When we try to memorize a śloka, it keeps reverberating in our minds,
member who needs to be kept satisfied and happy. leaving no room for the devil. First it is a challenge to memorize it and when
that is done, it becomes a pleasure to just keep repeating it.
A mother memorized verses and songs as she cooked, while another learnt
from a sheet stuck on the tiles of the wall as she washed the utensils. And
there was another devotee that would stick up the śloka on the front part of his
motorbike and learn as he drove. There are devotees that would teach ślokas
over the phone and I am sure devotees eager to keep their minds busy with

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transcendental vibration would have found so many other ways. remembering the pastimes of Lord Kṛṣṇa. The purport of a śloka can dawn on
Parents find unique times to teach their children ślokas because it is difficult us as a realization by the mercy of the Lord during difficult moments.
for most to find that solitary time to sit together and learn. Neither do children This timely reminder came to me a few more times later on convincing me
always sit in one place for long enough. One devotee would teach his children of the importance of memorizing ślokas. Ślokas are a lot of information—a lot
as he brought them to school and one mother when she would bathe the children of philosophy packed into two or four cryptic liners that can expand greatly. Just
or brush their hair! Technology was put to its best use by Mother Kālindī who like Lord Caitanya was able to render eighty-four explanations to the famous
would record one śloka on her mobile, put it on repeat mode and give it to her ātmārāma verse.
chatterbox daughter, Bhadrikā. With this arrangement not only her chanting Ślokas connected to Lord Kṛṣṇa occupy a very deep place in our heart,
time become peaceful, it also made occasions of traveling less arduous as the awakening the soul to its eternal knowledge. When Anand was in school, he had
śloka learning activity put on hold Bhadrikā’s endless questions. learnt a lot of ślokas. Forty years later, when there was a death in the family, and
Competitions that invite children to learn ślokas are also extremely useful there was a chanting of the Bhagavad-gīta, he surprised everyone by chanting
but the challenge here is in getting the child to continue chanting the ślokas on along without seeing the book. In fact, looking at the book only confused him,
a regular basis. Most children just go to the competition and later on forget what clashing with the depths of his memory.
they learnt.
The Best Sloka for This Age
Slokas Come to Our Rescue The Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra is the essence of all Vedic mantras and
Besides filling up our minds with positive vibrations and thoughts, ślokas chanting it constantly is the best occupation for the mind. However, since
also serve to remind us of helpful philosophy at difficult times. For example, our minds look for variety and our intellect for some mental activity, learning
after a long time, I had to undertake a journey on a public bus. Having got used ślokas helps to satisfy these needs and keeps our minds in transcendence above
to the security of private travel, the bus journey seemed very arduous. Then the material modes. Śrīla Prabhupāda explains: “They are not ordinary poems.
from within came a kind reminder, a śloka I had learnt from the Bhāgavatam:
cintāmaṇi-prakara-sadmasu kalpa-vṛkṣa-
nārāyaṇa-parāḥ sarve lakṣāvṛteṣu surabhīr abhipālayantam
na kutaścana bibhyati
[Brahma-Samhita.5.29]
svargāpavarga-narakeṣv
api tulyārtha-darśinaḥ
These are not ordinary verse. These are transcendental verses: govindam ādi-
“A pure devotee of Narayana is never afraid of going anywhere and puruṣaṁ tam ahaṁ bhajāmi. So Kṛṣṇa is worshiped by transcendental verses,
everywhere. For him heaven and hell are one and the same.” transcendental language, Vedic language. That is transcendental language.
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 6.17.28) Therefore it is called uttama-śloka.

This śloka reminded me to stop fretting about my environment by (Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 1.8.32, Māyāpur, 12 October, 1974)

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The Power of Association parents, teachers and other superiors, they learn how to communicate; how to
deal with disagreements or arguments respectfully and empathically—or not.
By CDM Children Services From observing their parents putting Kṛṣṇa in the centre of their lives, chanting
serious japa, having a regulated lifestyle, by waking up early every day and
having a strong sādhana, etc., children learn how to do the same. The same
Is It Possible That We Can Mould Our Children the
applies with the opposite. As a parent, one can instill values in children just by
Way We Want?
giving one’s own example; this is the big-open-secret.
There are many influential aspects to the development of a child’s However, in some cases it is seen that even if parents are acting as good role
personality, character and behavior. The three things that influence a child the models and giving children a Kṛṣṇa conscious lifestyle and upbringing—even
most is their individual karma, others’ example and the association they receive. then children can still be diverted away. How is this possible? It is because there
So it is vital that parents, teachers and others be exemplary in their behavior and are also other things which influence a child and create impressions in their
give good association for children since all these will affect them greatly, even lives. The karma that the child carries from past lives may also influence them,
unconsciously. as well as the association of others besides their parents, teachers or superiors
Śrīla Prabhupāda explains how example is better than precept. Words may of the like.
not be enough to encourage a child to do something; it is the example and the When children are very young it is quite easy to control their association;
people which surround him that will influence him the most. The saying “action they are mainly with their parents or teachers, thus parents can control the
speaks louder than words” is most applicable with children. For example, if association that children are given. But the more children grow; they get
someone tells a child to not eat too many sweets because it is bad for them, but exposed to different types of association at school, in the temple and from other
if the person saying it is eating many sweets, then the child will get confused friends. Not everyone has the same strictness regarding values, in fact everyone
and think, “Why is this person telling me this, but he himself is not following? I has somewhat different degrees of values and morals even within ISKCON, so
am just going to do the same and eat lots of sweets”. Therefore, one of the most what to speak of when children receive non-devotee association.
important aspects of being influential to children is to behave as we expect them Given these factors, we can see that “molding” our children is relatively easy
to behave. due to their marked vulnerability to their surrounding environment. This can
One should always try to keep in mind how our behaviors are leaving be succinctly presented as a ruling principle: to promote Kṛṣṇa consciousness
impressions or saṁskāras in the minds of our children. This is because, at a in children, they need to be surrounded with Vaiṣṇava association. Of course
young age, children are very impressionable. Naturally, they tend to follow this is a generic principle, since if we mould our lives surrounded by Kṛṣṇa
their parents and superiors and copy what others do. Thus the actions they consciousness, we also will be to always think of Kṛṣṇa. In the same way,
observe carry more weight than the words they listen. If children see their by surrounding children with others who also have similar devotional goals,
parents, teachers and friends chanting and dancing, why would they not want children will automatically become Kṛṣṇa conscious.
to do the same? Thus association can be either extremely dangerous or a blessing. If children
From example, children gain morals and values. From observing their are exposed to bad association, they will develop habits and attachments that

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are unfavorable to Kṛṣṇa consciousness, but if they have saintly association, to love Kṛṣṇa. If we can facilitate this for our children and help them in their
they will also become saintly. Śrīla Prabhupāda said: advancement in Kṛṣṇa conscious, we could categorically consider that we have
“Children imitate whoever they associate with. You all know the movie performed the duty of a true well-wisher of our children.
Tarzan. He was brought up by monkeys, and he took on the habits of monkeys.
If you keep children in good association, their psychological development will
be very good—they will become like demigods. But if you keep them in bad
association, they will turn out to be demons. Children are a blank slate. You
can mold them as you like, and they are eager to learn.” (Śrīla Prabhupāda’s
Conversation—Kolkata, October 5, 1971)
In the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam,Śrīla Prabhupāda explains how usually all
conditioned souls in the material world are in the mode of passion, but even
then there is

“...always a chance of being influenced by the other modes of nature by

association. If one is in good association he can develop the mode of goodness,
and if in bad association he may develop the mode of darkness or ignorance.
Nothing is stereotyped. One can change his habit by good or bad association,
and one has to become intelligent enough to discriminate between good and
bad. The best association is the service of the devotees of the Lord, and by
that association one can become the highest qualified man by the grace of the
Lord’s pure devotees. As we have already seen in the life of Śrīla Nārada Muni,
he became the topmost devotee of the Lord simply by the association of pure
devotees of the Lord.”
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 2.10.41 purport)

Śrīla Prabhupāda’s words confirm that the company we choose to surround

ourselves and our children has a great impact on our lives. This is why Vaiṣṇava
association is one of the five most potent items of devotional service and thus
strongly recommended throughout the devotional scriptures. According to this
principle, by such devotional association one can get love for Kṛṣṇa and become
a pure devotee of the Lord. This is considered the most important goal of life:

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Encouraging Children in Krishna

Consciousness
 4 | Encouraging Children in Kṛṣṇa Consciousness Our Future Hope

The Playful Mood with, such as a toy wooden bull on wheels with a string. As far as possible, we
selected toys to remind our child of Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes, such as cows, peacocks,
By Urmilā Devī Dāsi and elephants.
Very young babies love to look at pictures of Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes. Prabhupāda
Fifteen children between two and five years old stood at one end of our told us to show the pictures and not give them directly to the child, who might
living room. Some inched away from the wall. All waited. disrespect them. So we put pictures on the walls near the floor and covered them
“Be cowherd boys!” I called, and the children pretended to blow flutes and with plastic. Our children would crawl to them and touch them. We also made
horns or bring a cow by a rope. Pretending in this way, they went as quickly books filled with pictures from extra BTGs and worn-out book covers (and put
as possible to the other side of the room and back. (Having a living room with plain covers on them so that no picture would touch our feet or the floor).
little furniture was an advantage.) My infant son squirmed in my arms and tried As a child masters language, he or she will point at the pictures again and
to join the fun. again. “Kṛṣṇa,” he’ll say, and then “Kṛṣṇa kills the demon.”
“Ambarīṣa won!” I announced. “He got back first, playing like a cowherd
boy the whole time. Now, ready again. Be fish!”
Preschool
I set the baby in a crib and demonstrated pretend swimming. As children mature, they like to play not just around other children but with
Prabhupāda has given us a wonderful process of molding activity to them. Kṛṣṇa Himself showed the ideal play for children of this age. Children
awaken love for Kṛṣṇa. Even children involved in games, toys, and playing can in the country can go in groups to herd calves, playing by a lake or river in the
be guided to use their playful mood to their spiritual advantage. Then Kṛṣṇa open air. This is their “education.” They will play leapfrog, imitate animals,
consciousness will easily arise in their hearts. build with dirt, sand, and sticks, and use their vast imagination. What is the
Saintly children such as Dhruva, Prahlāda, and Nārada shunned childish need of purchased toys and games?
playthings. And Prabhupāda noted that one child of his disciples rejected Unfortunately, even those of us who live in the country may not have calves
ordinary toys as “māyā.” Yet while we don’t want to encourage toys and games for our children to care for, nor are we always blessed with ideal weather. And
that will lead to forgetfulness of Kṛṣṇa, for children to play in a transcendental we worry about thieves and kidnappers. So children can pretend to herd cows
way is natural and beneficial. and may have to settle for playground equipment in place of rocks, vines, and
rivers.
Babies The main way to direct the play of small children toward Kṛṣṇa is to
Babies start to play when they like to grasp and move objects, at about surround them with devotional service. The children will then imitate. If they
three months. My husband and I made a mobile of pictures of Kṛṣṇa and hung see adults cook for Kṛṣṇa, the children will make mud pies and “offer” them,
it above our first baby’s sleeping place, carefully putting it out of range of the pretending that a stone or tree is Kṛṣṇa. One of our children built temples out
child’s feet. of blocks, set up dead batteries for Deities, and then imitated the worship he’d
Soon a baby can sit and then crawl. Children this age need playthings just seen at the temple.
to keep out of mischief and distress. They like toys they can crawl or walk Young children learn of Kṛṣṇa by looking through Prabhupāda’s books,

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which are lavishly illustrated. The children then love to imitate Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes. outdoor games with friends to be-come more organized, with rules about
We had a collection of makeup, cloth scraps, and inexpensive props from a winning and losing. Prabhupāda mentioned tag, swimming, running games,
costume shop. When our child’s friends came over, they had fun dressing as and kite-flying as suitable games for children. He discouraged highly organized
Kṛṣṇa, Balarāma, mother Yaśodā, and demons such as Bakasura. and competitive games that mimic professional sports and take up so much of
“Now, Yaśodā,” I would say to my daughter, “Tell Kṛṣṇa to play nicely western children’s time and energy. That children emotionally and physically
today.” need to run and jump doesn’t mean they need to join the local Little League.
“Play nicely today,” she would say. Some devotees have adapted many outdoor games so that children will grow in
One of my friends plays like this with just herself and her three-year-old spiritual consciousness while they play.
daughter. Children in these years like to make dioramas of Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes. In the
“I’m Kṛṣṇa. You’re Balarāma,” the child says, and they put on cloths as gurukula we plan diorama projects for various festivals. We also organize
belts and turbans, dancing through the house pretending to call their cows. dramas of spiritual philosophy or Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes. As the children grow and
Preschoolers enjoy simple toys such as measuring cups and a bowl of water. can perform dramas for public viewing, we spend time rehearsing and making
They like to build and create with blocks and clay. If they keep to such simple costumes, scenery, and sound effects. Children also often play at dramas
toys they will learn to be happy without extravagant arrangements. Modern informally with their friends.
toy manufacturers push movies and television shows through which to market During these years children often like games that challenge their logic,
related toys. Such toys stimulate a child’s hankering for a flood of electronic memory, and intelligence. Because Śrīla Prabhupāda considered games such as
wonders, of which they soon tire. And the nature of such toys! If we walk crossword puzzles a waste of time, we want to carefully choose games that teach
through the aisle of a toy store, we see gruesome toys of terror. If we want to our children if not about Kṛṣṇa then at least skills and knowledge they can use
raise saintly children, we should avoid such things. to serve Kṛṣṇa. Games that supercharge the mind and senses simply increase a
In contrast, I know of one teenage girl who made her little sister beautiful child’s identification with the body. I know of many parents and teachers who,
felt toys. Felt figures of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, felt clothes, and felt altars. One especially when a group of children gather, arrange for contests in knowledge
parent made beautiful puppets for her children. In another family, the father of scripture. This must be done according to the age of the children and in such
draws pictures of Kṛṣṇa on canvas, and the mother and children fill them in with a way that it is not too competitive and stressful.
needlepoint. A little time and creativity can give a child eternal benefit. What of the increasingly popular computer and video games that begin to
appeal to children during these years? There is excellent educational computer
Ages Five Through Twelve software for teaching math, English, history, and geography. Just as we devotees
As children progress through school, their time for play gradually decreases. get children playing spiritually, programmers get children playing to learn. That
Their lives become filled with learning and chores. Yet through these years a is a valid use of games for our children, but we should make certain, first, that
child still wants to play. what is learned is really essential and, second, that it’s the major component of
At this age, children can still use simple toys such as blocks to imitate the software. If all a game is said to do is teach eleven-year-olds hand and eye
devotional service, though their play becomes more complex. They’ll want coordination, it’s probably worthless.

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Generally, if our children are playing video games we can take it as a sign As we watch our children play, we can remember that the whole material
that we’re failing to provide them useful work to play at. Just as Prabhupāda world is like a toy given by the Lord so that we can act in a perverted imitation
tells us that children will take the work of herding calves as play, so children of His pastimes. Even our adult activities, therefore, are merely games with no
can take pleasure in growing a garden, learning to cook, and helping with adult lasting consequence or meaning unless we engage in the service of the Lord.
devotional service.
Krishna Conscious Games
Perhaps the most important play during this age is festivals and Deity
worship. When Śrīla Prabhupāda was a boy, he organized a Ratha-yātrā festival, Let’s Catch Krishna First
much as other children organize games for their friends. His father also gave The leader chants one Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra while pointing from player to
him Deities to worship. Prabhupāda describes this Deity worship by young player with each word. The last person pointed to plays as Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa takes
children as play. That doesn’t mean a child can put the Deity on the floor or on in His hand a big peacock feather (or a big leaf or flower representing a peacock
his bed like a stuffed toy. (I don’t suggest Deity worship for children under five, feather) so the other players can easily recognize Him. He runs a little ahead,
or for those who regularly put their hands or other objects in their mouth.) Yet a and then all the other children the cowherd boys must try to tag Him. Whoever
child is excused from the strict rules of Deity worship. Children can bathe and tags Kṛṣṇa first becomes the next Kṛṣṇa, and the previous Kṛṣṇa becomes one
dress their Deity once a week and make a daily offering of food. By chanting of the cowherd boys. The previous Kṛṣṇa must hand the peacock feather to the
before the Deity and offering incense and flowers, a child learns to progress in new Kṛṣṇa while still running and then let the new Kṛṣṇa get a little bit ahead.
spiritual life. King Parīkṣit and Mirabai, both great devotees from childhood, Then everyone runs after the new Kṛṣṇa. The players must keep careful track of
were trained in that way. Prabhupāda suggests that the worship can become who is Kṛṣṇa at each stage of the game.
formal when a child is ten or twelve. Fun Storytelling
This game is meant for children well versed in Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes. The leader
Thirteen to Sixteen
(using again the one-mantra method) selects the first child to tell a story. The
When a child enters adolescence the desire to play decreases, yet I’ve seen storyteller is supposed to purposely make funny mistakes from time to time. For
fourteen-year-old girls binding their eyes like Gāndhārī to enact scenes from the example, he will say, “Kṛṣṇa stole the gopīs’ capātīs (instead of clothes) and
Mahābhārata. Just today a fourteen-year-old boy picked up a kindergarten boy. hung them on a tree,» or «Mother Yaśodā ran after Kṛṣṇa with a cow (in-stead
“Grrr! I’ll tear Hiranyakashipu to pieces!” the older boy growled, pretending to of a stick) in her hand.” The other children must correct the mistakes.
be Lord Narasiṁha. Teenagers can organize their own plays and puppet shows From The Book of Kṛṣṇa Conscious Games, (Bāla Books, 1981).
or create intricate works of art and music.
Perhaps at this age, especially for boys, sports become a question. Again,
while these growing adolescents need fresh air and exercise, it is better to
meet those needs through their service than arrange for separate sports. And
if children need some specific program of exercise, we should keep things in
balance and not get overwhelmed with caring for the body.

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Nursery Nectar grow restless and wild. Vary what you do and how long you do it, according to
the mood and needs of the children. For example, if many children are restless,
By Urmilā Devī Dāsi spend more time on physically active programs. If most of the children are
older, spend more time on things that call for patience. As much as possible, all
Two year old Lalita-mādhava sits with all her concentration focused on the the children should do the same activity together. When an activity is over, the
book our 14-year-old daughter is showing her. Lalita-mādhava ‘s older sister children should put everything away, and clean the floor and tables if need be.
has just graduated from our gurukula school, her mother is at our house to print If you don’t want to lose everything in your nursery, best to keep the things for
a letter, and Lalita-Mādhava is thinking of Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes. “Kṛṣṇa,” she says separate activities separate.
and points to the picture. She carefully turns the page. You can engage the children three ways: in free, loosely supervised play,
Having spent more than three years teaching a Kṛṣṇa conscious nursery in all working at once on their own projects, and in all doing the same thing
school, I am privy to a great secret: there is an ocean of sweet spiritual pleasure together.
in the company of very young devotees of Kṛṣṇa. They know nothing of local,
A. Loosely supervised play:
national, or global politics. They hardly know if they are boys or girls. But they
do know they love Kṛṣṇa. In their company one can simply tell stories about This includes things like playing outdoors on swings and slides, looking
the Lord, sing songs to glorify Him, and play games that absorb the mind in His at nature books, and playing with blocks and toys. With blocks, children can
service. A well-run nursery fully engages the mind of the teacher, challenging build temples, altars, and items for spreading Kṛṣṇa consciousness, such as cars
her intelligence and creativity. in which they can go to distribute books. With toys the children can play their
The parents also will be pleased. At home, most mothers have to divide their way into Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes by cooking for Kṛṣṇa, taking care of baby Kṛṣṇa, or
minds between their children and their household work. So a mother is pleased acting as cowherd boys frolicking with the cows, frogs, and birds of Vṛndāvana.
to see her child in a happy spiritual place with a devotee whose sole duty is to
teach the child. B. All working at once on their own projects:
Children who have taken part in a materially and spiritually lively nursery All together but each on his own, children can work with clay, or play with
school can look back upon their early childhood with pleasure. Even as puzzles, or make garlands, or decorate pictures of Kṛṣṇa and His devotees.
teenagers, they can still enjoy singing the simple English, Sanskrit, or Bengali With clay the children can play at cooking food for Kṛṣṇa or building things
songs about Kṛṣṇa they learned in nursery. The joy of decorating Kṛṣṇa’s for Kṛṣṇa. With jigsaw puzzles children can put together Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes.
picture with colored beads can broaden into a desire to dress the Deity. A child As for garlands, children can make them from wooden or plastic beads you
can grow up feeling that constant engagement in the Lord’s service is natural. can get at a hobby or craft store. The children can sit before a picture or Deity of
So what should children do at a nursery school? Here are some activities for Kṛṣṇa, and each child can make a nice garland for Him. The children can offer
children aged two to five. Although these activities are best suited for a teacher their garlands with the teacher’s help, and all the children can see and admire
and a group of children, any mother at home could use most of these ideas. the garlands of the others. Through garlands, also, the children can learn about
The key to successful activities is keep changing them before the children colors, patterns, and counting.

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Children can enjoy decorating pictures of Kṛṣṇa and His devotees. The for the future. And by their behavior and enthusiasm they may sometimes melt
pictures can come from old calendars or extra copies of Back to Godhead, or the heart of even the most hardened atheist.
the children can use pictures they have painted or colored themselves. With the
teacher›s help, the children can adorn the pictures with stars, jewels, glitter, and
paper flowers.

C. All doing the same thing:

Together, children can learn simple songs, and they can chant Hare Kṛṣṇa
and dance. The children who are able, can take turns leading.
The children can also take turns fanning Kṛṣṇa and offering Him incense
and flowers, as adults do in the ceremony of ārati.
Children can also do something else together that is very important in
devotional life: take prasāda, food first offered to Kṛṣṇa. They can learn how to
say their prayers, respect prasāda, think of Kṛṣṇa, and enjoy. And they can learn
how to be clean.
Children can also put on plays about Kṛṣṇa. The teacher gives a child one
line to say and one thing to do at a time. Keep things simple and active and the
children can do three plays or more without boredom.
You can delight your children with Kṛṣṇa conscious storytelling. More than
just reading a story, you can sing a song about the story, show pictures, and act
out the story. There are many tapes of Kṛṣṇa conscious story songs.
Children enjoy movies showing plays and stories and festivals. But go
easy on video during the child’s early years. It can hamper a child’s natural
development. A total of one hour a week is a good limit.
An entire community benefits from the nursery school. It gives mothers
more time to help in a local temple or project, and even when there isn’t a
school, a mother at home will find that an hour or two spent creating a nursery-
school atmosphere will make her children so happy she can devote more time
to other service.
If we treat our children with care from the very beginning, they’ll feel
encouraged as souls. They’ll give spiritual pleasure to everyone and give hope

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Spiritual Holidays pools, plastic or clay animals, and so on. (We make the pools from mirrors and
the streams from tinsel over tin foil). One year, to celebrate Ratha-yātrā each
By Urmilā Devī Dāsi student made his or her own cart from a shoe box and cardboard. We’ve also
made dioramas inside boxes. A simple one or two day project: writing about the
Holidays! A break from routine, a special mark on the calendar, a day that festival and then mounting and decorating the poem or essay.
can absorb a child’s mind for weeks or more beforehand; holidays connected GAMES: To celebrate the appearance of Lord Varāha, the Lord as a giant boar
with Lord Kṛṣṇa help children become absorbed in pleasing Him. The calendar who lifted the earth with His tusks, the children play “stick the earth on Varāha’s
of the Hare Kṛṣṇa movement overflows with days to celebrate. Major festivals tusks.” Some years we have groups of students make a picture of Varāha and
commemorate the divine birth, or appearance, of Kṛṣṇa and His incarnations. the earth and then play the game with the best picture. Last year our grown
Other festivals celebrate Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes and the anniversaries of the daughter drew Varāha, and the students competed for the best earth drawing.
appearance and passing of pure devotees of the Lord. Then, blindfolded, each of us tried to tape the earth as close as possible to the
Unfortunately, we might neglect to take full advantage of the intense tips of the Lord’s tusks. A simple prize awaited the winner.
spiritual effect Kṛṣṇa conscious holidays can have on a child’s life. On minor
KIRTANS: Children love singing “Sītā-Rāma” on Lord Rāma’s appearance
festival days, the occasion may pass by unnoticed, or there may be only a
day, or whatever songs and prayers relate to the incarnation or event we are
scriptural reading geared to an adult audience. Adults may even plan events celebrating. Sometimes we make copies of a song in Devanāgarī, the original
mostly for adults. Children come to the adult gathering, but they simply learn Sanskrit alphabet, to have the children practice their Sanskrit while they learn
that a holiday means being bored, or running and playing wildly. the prayer.
How can our children find the spiritual highlights of their lives in festivals?
STORIES: What is more fun for a child than a story? But so often we adults
PLAYS: Putting on a play about the holiday is exciting for children. They just read, without expression or explanation, from a book written for adults.
love rehearsing, dressing up, and getting on stage. And they love pleasing the If we dramatize a little, have lively questions and answers, and concentrate
adults, who enjoy the plays in spite of (and to some extent because of) the on the story line, children will be entranced. Today we also have many Kṛṣṇa
imperfections. Older children can spend many weeks striving for professional conscious stories on audio and video tape.
results. They can also write or adapt a script, buy costumes and make-up, create
CHILDREN HELPING ADULTS: Children can decorate the temple, help with
the soundtrack, and so on.
cooking a feast, and do extra cleaning at home or at the temple. If they worship
Children can also prepare a dramatic reading related to the holiday. Such a Deity of the Lord, they can make Him a special flower garland or a new outfit,
readings require far less work for the adults directing the show, and absorb the or decorate His altar with flowers. Older children can help in many ways at the
children’s minds almost as much as a full production. temple.
PROJECTS: Every year at the Govardhana Pūjā festival, honoring Lord FASTING: Fasting may not sound like fun for a child, but most children delight
Kṛṣṇa’s lifting of Govardhana Hill, our students make a small hill of papier- in performing some austerity for Kṛṣṇa. Many festival days call for fasting,
mâché over wire and balloons. We paint it and decorate it with plants, streams, either until noon or the evening. I generally ask children under age seven to eat,

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even if they want to fast. I encourage children over ten to try the fast, and I have
prasāda available if they can›t stick to it. Children remember with fondness the
Higher Vocations
first Janmāṣṭamī they fasted until midnight. By Urmilā Devī Dāsi
GENERAL MOOD: We can find many more ways to include children in
holidays. The real key is the mood of the adults. We need to remember that Śrīla Prabhupāda wanted ISKCON’s educational system to produce high-
celebrating the glory of the Lord is for children too. class people, high not in wealth or status but in character. We often describe the
ideal character of a brāhmaṇa (intellectual) as tolerant and austere, of a kṣatriya
(civic leader) as heroic, and so on. Yet for the training of our children, Śrīla
Prabhupāda also emphasized another quality: independence.
Brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, and vaiśyas (farmers and merchants) can create their
own vocations. Whether working directly in the service of Kṛṣṇa or working to
maintain their families, they don’t need to beg from others, and they don’t need
much supervision. Such higher-class persons, willingly obedient to the spiritual
master, are self-disciplined and therefore self-reliant. When we understand
this kind of independence, we remove the problem of finding a vocational
“place” for our children. They don’t need to beg work from anyone, in or out of
ISKCON. For the self-disciplined, independent person, is there not unlimited
work, unlimited service?
Make a list with your child of ways to spread Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Surely
he or she will have the ability and the inclination to perform some of them.
Many will also provide income. Your child can choose a service and begin to
prepare for it.
Here are some ideas:

1. Open a prasāda restaurant.

2. Open a health-food store and sell prasāda and Kṛṣṇa conscious books.
3. Open a shop for books and devotional paraphernalia.
4. Publish devotional books.
5. Sell Kṛṣṇa conscious books retail or wholesale.

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6. Farm organically with oxen and sell produce. something for a family or a project. And as children mature, they can take on
chores that demand more competence.
7. Cook and sell baked goods to stores.
Give your children as much responsibility as they can handle. But for
8. Teach courses that include a Kṛṣṇa conscious perspective. children under sixteen, be strict in giving strong direction in moral and spiritual
9. Produce and sell Kṛṣṇa conscious music. decisions. Śrīla Prabhupāda taught that children under sixteen should be dealt
with so firmly that they won’t even consider disobeying. Especially, it’s up to
10. Sell Kṛṣṇa conscious art.
you to set guide-lines on such matters as what they read, what they watch on
11. Write educational computer software for Kṛṣṇa conscious schools. TV, how they treat intoxicants, and how they behave toward members of the
opposite sex. We don’t tell a fourteen-year-old, “Now I’ve informed you about
12. Sell items or services useful to both devotees and non-devotees (such as
marijuana, but it’s your choice.” We simply forbid it.
groceries, cars, office supplies, tools, computers, printing, layout, and
If a child of sixteen or older still depends on you for money, treat him
electrical work, health care).
the same way you would a friend in that circumstance and expect the same
13. Develop a Kṛṣṇa conscious theater company of a professional standard. compliance with rules.
See adolescents as useful members of society and give them opportunities
14. Start your own ISKCON center for spreading Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
to feel useful—train children from as young as possible to use intelligence in
Here are some suggestions for fostering a higher-class mentality in
Kṛṣṇa’s service.
your children, a mentality in which they’ll find positive ways to function
Reward them for doing things voluntarily. Encourage vision and plans, even
independently.
if undeveloped and immature.
Don’t think in terms of getting your son or daughter a good job and tying
them to mundane schooling for that purpose. Let your child know that striving
for “job security” by waiting upon others is less important than becoming Kṛṣṇa
conscious and teaching Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
Put emphasis on practical education. From age eleven to age fourteen, let
your children spend lots of time with adults who can train them in practical
work. Most adolescents benefit from friendships with their peers. But learning
practical service from adults and making spiritual friendship with them may
provide a deeper relationship that is more valuable for bringing out good
character.
Give the child some social, economic, and familial responsibility, at least
by age twelve. For example, a fifteen-year-old can regularly volunteer some
time at the local temple for a Kṛṣṇa conscious project such as Food for Life.
Even a twelve-year-old can do valuable service or earn money that will mean

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Art of Disciplining
 5 | Art of Disciplining Our Future Hope

Why Children Misbehave adults angry. The adult’s reaction may be negative, but for a love-starved child
any emotion may be better than nothing. These children need unemotional
By Urmilā Devī Dāsī instruction when they’re unruly, and plenty of love and affection the rest of the
time.
Why do children disobey or get into mischief? We might assume they’re
simply rebellious, but that’s rarely the case. Let’s discuss some possible causes Unregulated Life
of misbehavior. When children are sick, tired, or hungry, they often don’t show their needs
like adults and may become rude and uncooperative. Children chronically late
The Lower Modes
to bed are often chronically disobedient as well. Children who eat and sleep
Lord Kṛṣṇa explains in Bhagavad-gītā that material nature is composed irregularly can be difficult because they are always tired and hungry. Regulated
of three modes: goodness, passion, and ignorance. Everything is in one of eating and sleeping, which Kṛṣṇa recommends in the Gītā, is often a simple key
these modes or a combination of them—food, work, games, books, clothing, to good behavior in a child.
knowledge, relationships, time of day, and so forth. Children whose environment
is mostly in goodness will be generally good, whereas those whose environment Poor Training
is mostly in passion and ignorance will be full of those qualities. For example, an It may seem unbelievable but some parents and teachers actually train
environment in ignorance would be one in which children go to bed and awaken children to disobey, be rude, have tantrums, and so forth. Children learn to act
late, watch violent and sexual movies, are served meat and intoxicants (such in ways that earn them some kind of “reward.” For example, if when a child
as caffeine-laden sodas), and are surrounded by insults and fighting. Goodness insults or threatens the parents they give in to the child’s demands, the child is
supports spiritual development; the two lower modes obstruct it. being trained to be nasty, as much as an animal is trained to roll over and jump
Hypocrisy to get food.

Children living in a spiritually enlivening atmosphere will rarely rebel. Misunderstood Natures
Sometimes children rebel because they see hypocrisy, such as non-spiritual Sometimes what seems to be misbehavior in a child isn’t so at all. Adults
behavior in a parent, teacher, or leader instructing them in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. with little knowledge of the normal behavior of children at different ages may
Such rebellion comes typically in early adolescence, when a child’s intelligence mislabel a child’s actions. In addition, every child has an inborn psychology.
expands to understand the nature of adult society. All adults can’t be perfect but We commonly think that our particular way of perceiving and relating to the
we can strive for the ideal, while honestly admitting our mistakes. world is ideal, but our child may have a different, equally valid way of doing so.
For example, a parent may be reserved, deliberate, and task-oriented, and the
Wrong Reaction child may be lively, outgoing, and people-oriented. To the parent, the child may
Sometimes a child who’s rarely treated with affection will act out of line seem scattered, frivolous, irresponsible, and uncooperative. The parent must
just to get noticed. I’ve seen children say nasty or disgusting things to make learn that every nature can be directed to the Lord’s service. A mother satisfied

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to sit and sew quietly for the Deity might find that her daughter is happier
planning a festival.
Motivation for Obedience
By Urmilā Devī Dāsī
Bad Examples
One of the most serious mistakes an adult can make is to cut down a child’s Lord Kṛṣṇa demands surrender, and Śrīla Prabhupāda explains that without
other adult authorities. If a parent criticizes a child’s teacher the child will think, obedience one cannot attain to the Lord’s kingdom. So how do we teach our
“Why do I have to do my work or show respect? My parents will take my side.” children obedience? Here are some ideas:
And in families where one parent frequently comes between the child and the
BY EXAMPLE: We need to show our children how happy we are to obey the
other parent, children never learn to cooperate.
scriptures, Lord Kṛṣṇa, and our spiritual master. Children will think it fair that
We must also be careful not to project our own problems onto children
we ask them to do something we are also willing to do. They will imitate our
when we are sick, tired, hungry, or uninspired.
example.
When we address the underlying causes of difficulty for our children, we
will find that our usual relationship with them is one of peaceful cooperation, BY REASONS: I try to be sure I can explain to the children the reason for
helping us and them to advance more easily in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. whatever I ask. They may not always agree with me, but at least they know I’m
not asking selfishly or whimsically.
BY CONCERN: An important way to show that we care for our children
is to listen to their concerns, their likes and dislikes. Children will follow
an adult they feel understands them. What motivated people to follow Śrīla
Prabhupāda’s guidance was in large part that he constantly showed them care
and understanding.
BY TALKING: At least in the West, children today don’t respond well to
authoritarian commands. So we need to learn indirect ways of instructing, and
whenever possible we can adopt a relatively democratic process, asking for our
child’s suggestions and reaching an agreement about what is to be done, how,
and when.
It’s important, though, to hear from the child before we make a decision
or give an instruction. Better to say, «Let me think about it» rather than an
automatic «No» that later changes to an «Oh, all right.» We shouldn›t change
our decision if the child›s response is to whine, argue, or criticize. Otherwise
the child will learn to use these responses to get us to renege on a firm decision.
BY CUES: Children are restless by nature and need time to run and play.

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Giving children certain times and places for normal frivolity will help them intrinsically good or bad, and children with different natures find inspiration or
behave at other times. Śrīla Prabhupāda told teachers to give children, between discouragement differently.
academic classes, a ten or fifteen minute break when they would have, as he put When the method we’re using with a child fails to work, we tend to simply
it, “nothing to do.” This way of motivating good behavior is called “putting the keep at it. That’s like speaking to a foreigner one’s native language, louder and
bad behavior on cue.” louder. Instead, when what we are doing fails to inspire our children to obey the
BY REWARDS: A reward for good behavior can serve as a powerful motivator. Lord and cooperate with us, we need the flexibility to try a different tack.
Too often we notice a child’s misbehavior but fail to acknowledge his obedience. BY DEPENDENCE ON KRISHNA: Only Kṛṣṇa knows our children’s hearts,
External rewards, such as sweets or toys, have some value if used carefully so only He knows perfectly what will help them think, act, and speak properly.
and occasionally, but a far better reward is to sincerely commend the child We therefore need to depend on Him constantly by chanting His name, studying
for behaving or performing well. For example, Śrīla Prabhupāda’s letters to His instructions, and praying for His guidance.
his disciples are full of praise, describing the disciples’ specific activities and
showing how those activities please Kṛṣṇa.
Sometimes we inadvertently reward misbehavior as when we let a child
do what he wants after he has been rude or offensive. The desire for happiness
motivates all behavior, so we may need to examine carefully what happiness the
child thinks he is getting when he behaves badly. We then need to help the child
get a taste for spiritual happiness.
BY CHALLENGE: Śrīla Prabhupāda wrote that a good manager inspires
subordinates with fresh challenges. Children should strive to improve in all
areas of service to Kṛṣṇa. The standards we set for a child should be a bit higher
than the child’s present level, but not so high as to be discouraging.
Challenges can include some friendly competition, which Prabhupāda said
“gives life.” Excessive competition can lead to envy, cruelty, and cheating.
But if the competition comes with a team spirit an understanding that we are
working together to best serve the Lord we can keep competitive enthusiasm
and yet avoid competitive trouble.
BY FLEXIBILITY: Whether a child is shy or outgoing, fast-paced or slow-
paced, people-oriented or task-oriented, stirred by ideas or awed by facts, he
or she can use those tendencies in Kṛṣṇa’s service. No type of personality is

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Discipline at Home children. When there is love and trust there is obedience. Then a child wants to
please his parents and discipline becomes very easy.
By Aruddha Devī Dāsī The desire to please the parents is natural for children if they are loved.
Pleasing their parents becomes their reward for things done well. The parents
shower the children with constant encouragement and applause. They show
Handling Misbehavior Carefully
their love by feeding them nice prasāda and working with them on all kinds of
Many parents have asked me the question: “How did you discipline your Kṛṣṇa conscious activities. They chant and serve the Deities together. In this
children? How do you motivate them to learn?” kind of relationship there is no pressure on the parents to give monetary or any
Love was Śrīla Prabhupāda’s formula for discipline. He said that if we can kind of material rewards to the children and in turn the children feel happy and
get the children to obey through love then that is better than force or punishment. proud to be their students. Material rewards are not good because by that the
children learn that the mark of success is material profit.
If there is love and trust between the parents and the children, then automatically
the children will obey because they want to please their parents. Of course, the Give God Not Goods
center of that love is Kṛṣṇa and when we serve Kṛṣṇa together, a spiritual bond Nowadays we see that parents give all material facilities to their children but
is established in the family which is much more powerful than the material will not allow them to read Bhagavad-gīta, go to the temple, or join a spiritual
bonds we already possess. Śrīla Prabhupāda said in a letter: organization. When the children are trained only for sense gratification we
should not be surprised if they become disobedient and disrespectful to elders.
“…if we train children by developing and encouraging their propensity to love
Real love means to give our children spiritual training so that they become
Kṛṣṇa, then we shall be successful in educating them to the topmost standard.
Kṛṣṇa conscious. Parents who want to flood their children with material things
Then they shall always very happily agree to do whatever you ask them.”
and allow them to do anything they want without setting limits will not get
(Letter to Rūpa Vilāsa—Hyderabad 18 November, 1972) good behavior from them, rather, the children will develop low self-esteem.
On the other hand, when parents force their children to obey out of fear of
When we raise our children with Kṛṣṇa in the center they become saintly
punishment they may become rebellious later in life. But when parents give
in character. The transcendental heroes of the Bhāgavatam become their role
both love and good training, accompanied by their own example, the children
models. The children emulate these heroes in their play and begin to reflect their
will be disciplined, motivated to learn, and happy. Prabhupāda said that children
character. For example, if one associates with thieves he will become a thief, or
should both love and fear their teachers.
if one associates with a businessman, he will become a businessman. Similarly
Prabhupāda did not want teachers to use force or severe punishment to get
one can become saintly in the association of saintly devotees.
children to do what is expected of them. Rather obedience can be generated
Children take seriously whatever they see their parents do and if we are
through proper training. Śrīla Prabhupāda said,
self-disciplined the children will also be the same. We should teach not just by
precept but by example and see our children as servants of Kṛṣṇa. This kind of “Simply they should be engaged in such a way that they are somehow or other
understanding encourages a relationship of love and trust between us and the remembering Kṛṣṇa at every moment, that’s all. It is not a mechanical process,

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that if we force in such a way they will come out like this, no. We are persons, positive method as far as possible. They understood that Kṛṣṇa would not be
and Kṛṣṇa is a person, and our relationship with Kṛṣṇa He leaves open as a pleased with them if they misbehaved, and in the process we too would not be
voluntary agreement always, and that voluntary attitude ‘Yes, Kṛṣṇa, I shall happy with them. I did not use the “grounding” or “time out” method. I felt that
gladly co-operate whatever you say’ that ready willingness to obey is only denying them some Kṛṣṇa conscious time, food or association is unnecessary
possible if there is love.” and goes against the principle of making them Kṛṣṇa conscious. Children
become irritable and resentful by frequent grounding, and ultimately begin to
(Letter to Rūpa Vilāsa— Hyderabad 18 November, 1972)
take it lightly.
In a conversation Śrīla Prabhupāda also says, “Superficially, strictness may Śrīla Prabhupāda was against punishing children by not giving them
be necessary some material laws or basic principles and if they don’t follow, prasāda. It is very important for children to eat to their full satisfaction. He was
they’ll be reprimanded. But they should develop the idea of love.” also against any kind of forced discipline involving physical punishment or
beating. Using force is not only against Vedic principles but can also drive away
Dealing with Misbehavior children from Kṛṣṇa consciousness by giving them a bad taste.
One thing that worked well for us in dealing with our children’s naughtiness
“If there is need you may shake your finger at them but never physical punishment
and misbehavior was to keep them always engaged in some Kṛṣṇa conscious
is allowed. Try as far as possible to discipline them with love and affection so
activity. If the children are not sufficiently engaged it is natural that they will
that they develop a taste for austerity of life and think it great fun to serve Kṛṣṇa
create problems and demand attention. We should channel their naughtiness
in many ways. Rising early and maṅgala-ārati, this is enough austerity. Besides
into productive behavior so that they can spend their energy and be happy and
that, let them learn something, chant, dance, eat as much prasāda as they like,
active. Children are playful by nature; we should not try to curb their playfulness
and do not mind if they have playful nature let them also play and run, that is
but rather dovetail their energy to Kṛṣṇa conscious activities.
natural. It is nice if they eat often, if children overeat it doesn’t matter, that is
The whole purpose of punishment is to change the heart, not just to instill
no mistake.”
fear. Prabhupāda often gave the example of the thief who commits theft despite
knowing that he will be punished because his heart has not been purified. So the (Letter to Aniruddha—Bombay 10 January, 1972)
solution is to help the children control their senses through Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Śrīla Prabhupāda said that the children should be so trained that they enjoy
The Bhagavad-gītā says that by getting a higher taste one can give up lower performing austerities for Kṛṣṇa. Good training can only be done if there is
tendencies. The same principle applies to children. If we engage them properly obedience, and obedience will naturally lead to discipline. Children obey
in Kṛṣṇa conscious activities, they will give up their desires to misbehave and because of affection and respect for their teachers and parents. This kind of
even if they accidentally misbehave they will understand and reform quickly. If environment motivates the children to learn and they become just like sponges
they still don’t reform some light punishment may be necessary. for knowledge.
Personally I did not punish my children but only verbally corrected them
and scolded them when they were naughty or did not do what they were
supposed to. A firm voice and stern look was usually enough. I tried to use the

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Just Say No to No “Don’t say ‘no,’ but give a taste for the good, then it will be automatically ‘no.’ If
you say ‘no,’ then [the children] will rebel. If they develop Kṛṣṇa consciousness,
By Urmilā Devī Dāsī
it will be automatically ‘no.’ ”
(Conversation with Jyotirmayī Dāsī—New Māyāpur 31 July, 1976)
Three adults are taking a group of children on an educational excursion, and
the “no’s” begin. In these instructions Śrīla Prabhupāda was not promoting a sentimental
“Don’t climb on that fence!” permissiveness. He always expected us to keep our children from anything
“Stop putting your hand in your nose!” spiritually or materially harmful. His point is rather that a child busy in Kṛṣṇa
“Please stop hitting Viśākhā!” consciousness cannot also be busy in illusion. Śrīla Prabhupāda would give the
“You’re making too much noise!” example that not even a drop of ink can enter a cup already full of milk. Once
Lots of instruction about what not to do. he told a disciple that we have a “no-gap” philosophy, we keep always active in
serving Lord Kṛṣṇa, leaving no opportunity for materialistic life.
Educator Michael Grinder calls telling someone what not to do a “double
To practice positive life with children we have to consider, “What do we
message.” He compares it to telling someone, “Don’t think of a cow.” What
want them to do? What do we want them to say?»
happens? The person thinks of a cow.
Let’s consider the following typical situation.
Grinder suggests putting our messages into positive form. For example,
A group of women were sitting in the dining area. One woman had her six-
instead of saying, “Don’t climb on that fence,” we can say what we would
year-old son with her.
like the child to do: “Please stay on the sidewalk.” Grinder even suggests
“Get me some water, Mommy!” he demanded.
that the adult’s actions when giving the instruction be in harmony with the
After lecturing him for several minutes about the importance of politeness,
instruction. For example, if a teacher says, “Sit quietly,” while walking around she got him a cup of water. Her mistake? She never told him the appropriate
the classroom, the children will get a double message. The teacher should also words and tone of voice he should use to be polite.
be sitting. If we’ve grown accustomed to simply telling our children what not to do,
After becoming aware of how often I admonished children for behavior changing our habits may take time. But we have to realize that it is we who must
and attitudes I didn’t want, I gradually changed to a more positive approach. endeavor each day so that the child’s life will be related to Kṛṣṇa.
Not only does emphasizing the positive get better results, it also fosters an Sometimes, of course, a child will reject our positive approach. Here’s an
atmosphere of mutual respect. example of dealing with such situations. Suppose a child rudely demands water,
In presenting spiritual life, to stop harmful behavior Śrīla Prabhupāda so you instruct, “Say, ‘Would you get me a cup of water, please?’” If the child
encouraged positive activities and thoughts. He suggested that method for giving refuses to comply don’t get the water. The child may decide to get his or her own
children spiritual and moral instruction. In New Māyāpur, he told Jyotirmayī water, but you will have sidestepped the battle of wills that brings rebellion.
Dāsī, Here’s another example of using positive reinforcement. Suppose your

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child brings you a drawing of a mundane war scene. You can say, “Oh! These
people are killing and dying without benefit because Lord Kṛṣṇa is not involved.
Not Allowed
Come, let’s look in the Bhāgavatam and find a story where Kṛṣṇa is fighting. I’ll By Aruddha Devī Dāsī
help you plan the picture.” If the child doesn’t want to draw something about
Kṛṣṇa, you can respond, “I’m happy to see your creativity, and I also like to see
pictures that remind me of Kṛṣṇa so I can love Him more and more. Just let me
Will Restrictions Help or Hamper the Growth of Your
know when you’d like to draw that kind of picture. I’m ready to help.” Child?
Sometimes parents express doubts or concerns about placing so many
restrictions on children, such as no television, no un-offered food (Hare
Kṛṣṇa devotees only eat food offered to Kṛṣṇa), or mundane parties. Are these
restrictions healthy for a child? Will they make him or her resentful?
Some restrictions, we all agree, are good for children. We know, for example,
that restricting children from playing with matches or eating before brushing
their teeth is good for them. We also know that children, if allowed, will play all
day but we need to restrict their play time so that they can be educated.

Training in the Beginning Years

Just as these material restrictions are necessary to keep a sound mind and
healthy body, similarly spiritual rules and regulations are necessary to keep
the soul happy. We are minute spirit souls, part and parcel of Kṛṣṇa, and our
happiness lies in reviving our lost relationship with Him. No amount of material
assets can make us happy.
In order to revive this lost relationship with Kṛṣṇa, the scriptures enjoin that
we voluntarily undergo some tapasya, or austerities, to cleanse the body, mind
and heart. These austerities are chanting the holy name, eating only prasāda
or food offered to Kṛṣṇa, rising early in the morning, and avoiding the four
pillars of sinful life, namely, meat eating, illicit sex, gambling and intoxication.
Furthermore, any activity that contaminates our minds and discourages us from
following these rules such as watching mundane television, associating closely
with non-devotees, and eating outside food should be avoided. Without this
basic discipline, it is very difficult for us to advance in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

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The restrictions provide a foundation upon which we can cultivate our love for be given rules alongside the joys of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and thus they will
Kṛṣṇa. regard them as fun rather than restrictions. The taste for lower pleasures will
Children who are not trained in a spiritual environment often succumb go away by experiencing the higher taste of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Practically
to the lures of illicit sex and drugs later in their life. Recently I met a young speaking there are no restrictions but only an exchange of something better for
woman who was very distraught because her 20-year-old best friend suffered a something inferior. Śrīla Prabhupāda said:
drug overdose willfully and died. Sadly this is very common today as evidenced
“Don’t say “no”, but give a taste for the good, then it will be automatically
by the spiraling rate of suicides and consumption of anti-depressant pills
“no.” And if you say “no” then they will rebel. The four “no’s”, that is very
among the youth. Young people are disillusioned with life, especially due to
difficult. Still they are breaking. No illicit sex, they are breaking. But if they
bad relationships. The educational institutions give no information about the
develop Kṛṣṇa consciousness, this will be automatically “no”. So don’t bring
soul or the real purpose of life. Instead they are encouraging young people to
many “no’s”, but give them positive life. Then it will be automatically “no”.
simply pursue careers that make a lot of money to the exclusion of any higher And if you say “no” that will be a struggle. This is the psychology. Positive
goal. We should understand that if we do not raise our children in a Kṛṣṇa engagement is devotional service. So if they are attracted by devotional service,
conscious environment, in the name of giving them more “choices,” we are other things will be automatically “no” paraṁ dṛṣṭvā nivartate. Just like
actually training them in a materialistic lifestyle. There is no such thing as a Ekādaśī day. Ekādaśī day, we observe fasting. And there are many patients in
“neutral” upbringing. the hospital, they are also fasting. But they’ll “No, no.” They’ll, within heart,
Śrīla Prabhupāda says, “If I get, I shall eat, I shall eat.” But those who are devotees, they voluntarily
“They cannot learn because they do not undergo austerity. That is the defect. say “no.”
No education is there how to perform austerity. Therefore Vedic civilization is (Conversation with Jyotirmayī Dāsi—New Māyāpur 31 July, 1976)
how to teach small children austerities. That is brahmacārī. So we want to start
These “restrictions” are steps towards the ultimate goal of life, and they are
this brahmacārī- āśrama, or gurukula, to learn austerity from the beginning of
actually enjoyable once we get accustomed to them, because they cleanse the
life. Then their life will be successful.”
body externally and internally. Pure habits are in the mode of goodness, and
(Śrīla Prabhupāda lecture, Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 7.9.35—Māyāpur 13 the mode of goodness makes a person happy and peaceful. The mind becomes
March, 1976) clear and free of useless clutter, making it much easier to focus on Kṛṣṇa. Śrīla
Prabhupāda explains:
One concern among parents is that too many restrictions will make their
children curious and rebellious later on so that they indulge in the “forbidden “Children especially are inclined to appreciate Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes, so begin by
fruits” that were denied to them in childhood. For example, a patient may be reading to them from Kṛṣṇa Book. They are not yet covered by false prestige
restricted from eating certain foods, but he still has a desire for them and he eats and will very quickly take to tapasya as if it were amusing like a game! Just
them as soon as he is well. see the young brahmacārīs in India. The guru says, “Do this, do that,” and
Śrīla Prabhupāda responds to this concern by explaining that children should immediately they do. They go out and beg all day in the hot sun and come back

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with a little rice, then take rest on the floor with no covering. And they are not want to follow these rules. Due to association with friends in school or in
enjoying; it is pleasurable to them to work very hard. So it is very important to the neighborhood, children want to play video games, watch television, or eat
train children to endure all sorts of hardships and restrictions at the boyhood unoffered food.
stage. Later, no one will renounce what he has accepted as the standard of Good association is essential for spiritual advancement and character
enjoyment, to accept a standard of less enjoyment.” formation. Children are very impressionable, and when they watch television
(Letter to Himavatī—Delhi 17 November, 1971) or play video games with their friends, they can develop the desire themselves.
Nevertheless, the process of hearing and chanting is very powerful, and it can
If children are trained firmly but lovingly, they will enjoy all kinds of
austerities, accepting them as fun and play. Austerities such as chanting, getting change our hearts by placing us in transcendental association. So if we continue
up early in the morning, eating only prasāda and learning the principles of Kṛṣṇa with our Kṛṣṇa consciousness at home, by Kṛṣṇa’s mercy, they will overcome
consciousness are easy for children because they have not been conditioned any their attraction and develop a higher taste.
other way. While avoiding meat may feel like a restriction to us, for a child who Our love for our children should not make us blind to what is good for
has never tasted meat it is only natural. The same is true with avoiding illicit them. That would be misplaced bodily love. We will be their real well-wishers
sex, gambling and intoxication. Therefore, when we give them these restrictions if we make a sincere effort to give them Kṛṣṇa consciousness so that they can
from the beginning of their lives, they consider them enjoyable and fun. use all their senses in a way that is pleasing to Kṛṣṇa. And as they grow older,
When I was homeschooling my children, we did not watch any television. our children will appreciate the strong character that we have instilled in them.
The boys never missed it and we never thought of turning it on. Not watching TV They will use these good values as the basis for a life that is healthy, pleasing to
was not an austerity for them because the higher taste of Kṛṣṇa consciousness Kṛṣṇa, and beneficial for others.
was there. We did not eat outside food, but prasāda was even better. By reading
Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, they understood the proper way of relating to the opposite
sex, and the dangers of loose behavior. I did not have to impose restrictions on
them because these habits became part of their culture, and they understood the
reasons behind them by studying scripture.
Sometimes acquaintances told us that we were being too harsh on our
children by not allowing them to eat at restaurants, go to movies, etc. But all
who criticized were also impressed by the children’s bright happy faces and
good behavior. They knew that devotee children were different, clean inside
and outside.
Another concern that parents have is what to do when their children do

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Strictness and Leniency:

Finding the Balance
 6 | Strictness and Leniency: Finding the Balance Our Future Hope

Four Stages of Childhood other developmental aspects change, which in turn changes the different styles
of discipline and levels of responsibility they should receive. When parents
By CDM Children Services understand the different stages of a child’s development and the corresponding
psychology, they can help the child attain the best possible results, in every sense.
Cāṇakya Paṇḍita explains that there are four different stages of childhood, Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says that we should treat children with leniency until the
and so according to these stages a child should be dealt with differently in age of five. This does not mean that we should let children do whatever they
order to achieve the desired results. It is important to understand these different want but it means that they will have a very small amount of responsibility and
stages so that we know how to deal with children according to their particular parents should continuously shower love on their children. Children from birth
mentality and emotional level at the different stages of their life. to age five can do simple tasks, such as cleaning up after themselves, helping
“The kaumāra stage lasts until the age of five, paugaṇḍa up to age ten and with grocery shopping, utilizing basic skills of eating, and respecting the Lord.
kaiśora to age fifteen. From then on, one is known as yauvana.” Because a child at this age is free from academic learning and practical
Cāṇakya Paṇḍita gives parents the guiding principles for each of the four responsibilities, they can use that freedom to think of Kṛṣṇa’s qualities and pastimes.
stages of childhood. He writes that until the age of five, little responsibility can The child’s main business is to prepare the foundation for his life. It is also a priority
be expected and so the child should be treated with leniency. From five to ten that parents model the right behavior, because at this age children learn mostly by
the child’s responsibility should gradually increase, and with it the discipline imitation. If an innocent child is properly trained from the beginning of life to love
with which the child is treated. From ten to sixteen the adolescent should be God, that love will remain with them for the rest of their lives.
treated “as strictly as a tiger,” so that he or she doesn’t even think of being Training is the keystone of ages five to ten, when children traditionally
irresponsible. At sixteen, the young adult should be treated as a friend. get their primary education. During this second stage of childhood Cāṇakya
As we can see, in order to achieve the most successful result we need to Paṇḍita tells us how we should gradually increase discipline. When children
learn how to change our mindset to suit theirs at each of their different stages. do not fulfill their responsibilities, they should have consequences which will
It is very common to see parents treating their children as if they were still very help them learn what it means to be responsible for something and to fulfill
small when they are no longer small children. If a teenager is treated like a ten- what they are supposed to do. The child should understand that according to his
year-old, they will definitely dislike it and probably won’t listen to their parents. decisions there is a natural good or bad reaction.
This usually occurs because parents feel that if they give their children too From age five to ten children are going to school and they start to develop
much freedom and leniency, then the children might make the wrong decisions opinions and habits. The child’s life should be molded in such a way that he
and follow the wrong path. However, if we have faith that we have trained them is always doing everything for Kṛṣṇa. At this stage children are very good at
with a strong Kṛṣṇa conscious foundation, and have imbibed in them Vaiṣṇava learning and have so much faith in Kṛṣṇa, and so we should help develop their
values and ideals, then treating a teenager as a friend, for example, is sufficient love for him. Their life should be so ordered that they won’t even think of
for disciplining them. waking up late, being dirty or rude, or failing to worship Kṛṣṇa. They can help
It is vital to follow the principles according to the correct childhood stage. put away clean dishes, hang up their own clothes, wash floors, etc.
As children pass through the different stages of childhood their maturity and Cāṇakya advises the strictest discipline for children ages ten through

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sixteen. Śrīla Prabhupāda calls this period the turning point of life, the most ●● Sample routine: To put my children to bed by 9 pm, we will have a routine

critical time. Now the child should be held greatly accountable for his work, that begins at 8:30 pm, get half a glass of warm milk, brush teeth, put on
words, and behavior. Children can be given the responsibility for completing pajamas, and read a bedtime story.
their homework and duties on time, cooking meals, helping clean the house, etc. Guidelines for making family or household rules:
Adolescents often have difficulty in understanding how values, ideals, morals ●● Keep the rules simple.
and understanding God fit together sensibly. Prabhupāda tells us, therefore, that ●● Be consistent and clear about the consequences of breaking the rules.
this stage of development demands regular detailed study of Kṛṣṇa conscious ●● Make sure you have a family meeting to explain the rules.
philosophy and its practical application. Having children take courses on our
●● Don’t have too many rules.
shastras and engaging them in devotional activities are some means by which
parents and teachers can help their growing children in establishing Kṛṣṇa in Sample rules:
the centre of their lives. ●● Older children wash their clothes on the weekend.
At age sixteen, when children have learned self-control and self-discipline, ●● Family must have dinner together unless someone is out of town or
we can gradually treat our children as friends. The young adult, with the
working.
help of a disciplined life and adult guidance and a good foundation of Kṛṣṇa
The consequences should be discussed with the child so that they are aware
consciousness, can now think about how he will fit into the Kṛṣṇa consciousness
of what will happen if they disobey the family rules. These consequences have
movement and about what service he or she will do for Śrīla Prabhupāda. At
to be consistent with what is expected from them and related to the child’s
this age these young adults can learn how to earn some of their own money, use
behavior. If you tell the child what the consequences will be but you do not
a car with permission and proper license, and stay home alone while parents are
follow through with it, then the child will not take you very seriously and will
away on a trip.
Routines and rules set in the house are very useful in aiding parents to break the rules more regularly, as they will think that they can get away with it
discipline children. Set limitations will help children to know what they are again because you don’t follow through with what you say.
allowed to do and what they are not allowed to do, and to know that if they Knowing that supporting children in their growth is a specific endeavor
go against the family rules there will be consequences. Also it is good to set a according to their age, nature, personality and behavior, someone with this
routine for them at home because if they are regulated from an early age it will responsibility needs to consider how to apply discipline, encouragement and
help them in their lives later on. flexibility depending of the stage the child is in. Dealing with children is not a
Guidelines for establishing routines (Source: Heart and Soul Connection, one-size-fits-all formula. Sages from the past (and present) recommend making
pg. 121) a conscious effort and taking into account that as much as children change when
●● Make sure the routine is practical and that it accomplishes the purpose. growing up; we grown-ups need to also change how to relate with them. This
●● Make sure your children know what is expected of them. Family meetings is to ensure that we make the best of our contribution in their development as
are an excellent time to talk about family routines. emotionally healthy individuals and favorable to have Kṛṣṇa consciousness as
●● Let children help make the routines when possible. their goal in life.

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Determining Standards It should be obvious that setting standards clear and in writing, is not
limited to a large āśrama gurukula. Parents with a home school will find their
From Vaikuṇṭha Children by Urmilā Devī Dāsī et al. job much easier if their children know what the limits are. In a small school
or parent co-operative, written standards avoid backbiting, personal criticism,
Kṛṣṇa consciousness is not an official “religion” or kind of faith. Nor is it a misunderstandings, and resentment. The importance of this step cannot be
“profession” to be divorced from one’s personal or private life. Therefore, it is stressed enough.
essential, when considering an education program for children within ISKCON, Here we attempt to set standards on an international level, realizing that some
to decide on standards for influences that affect them in general, in and out of local adjustment may be necessary. Therefore, standards here are conservative.
the classroom. If you feel that your local situation requires a more lenient attitude, carefully
Suppose we make no conscious effort to set such standards? Our standards consult with senior Vaiṣṇavas to be certain essential practices and principles are
will naturally flow to the lowest point of our local community. Not setting not being violated. If you feel that your standards need to be more stringent,
standards doesn’t mean that no standards have been set! It simply means that make sure that you establish realistic policies with a definite purpose. Strictness
standards are established by the behavior of the most fallen person in the devotee for its own sake is as much a cause of fall-down as leniency.
community. In other words, the children will quickly accept whatever is the A final word of caution; unenforced or un-enforceable standards are as bad
most deviant behavior and life style that is acceptable for “devotee” adults. The as none. We become fools in the eyes of the students and parents if we set
sad truth is that almost all the children will tend to gravitate toward this most standards which we are not able or willing to enforce. Sometimes we establish
extreme end of acceptability. rules for our students, such as no television in the home, that are difficult to
We could compare standards to a fence around a pool.1 When the standards enforce by the school administration. In such cases we need to make clear that
are too liberal, we can compare them to a fence that is precisely on the edge we depend on the honesty and cooperation of the parents. This attitude is far
of the pool. One slight deviation and you are in the water. Standards that are more likely to get results than pretending that the school can have absolute
unreasonably strict are like a fence that is two miles from the pool. People will control outside its physical boundaries.
not respect them. The suggestions here are from Śrīla Prabhupāda whenever possible. In areas
where he gave no specifics, such as dress code for small girls, we have tried
It is true that internally mature devotees don’t need specific written
to capture the spirit of his general or related instructions. All the suggestions
standards, like an adult doesn’t need a fence around his pool. Yet, adults are
were formulated with the advice of many senior devotees, working within and
willing to walk around to a gate to protect the children who do need a fence’s
outside of the ISKCON educational system.
protection. Similarly, spiritually advanced devotees don’t mind adhering to
official standards for the sake of those who need such support. Of course, we
can all personally benefit from the help, encouragement, and even pressure
from other Vaiṣṇavas. If we have this humble attitude of appreciation for the
help of others, there will be little resentment at our policies.
1 (* from Administration of the Christian School, Chapter 7)

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Is Experience the Best Teacher to get hooked on cocaine to be aware of its devastation, and even many who
are hooked don’t understand the danger. So a better way to say it is: properly
By Urmilā Devī Dāsī evaluated experience is the best teacher.” (author’s emphasis)
When adults say that for our children to understand māyā we must expose
After giving Arjuna knowledge of matter and spirit, Lord Kṛṣṇa tells him, them to it, they often mean they want to expose children to the illusions of
“Deliberate on this fully, and then decide what you wish to do.” (Bhagavad- illusion. They suggest taking children to amusement parks, or showing them
gītā 18.63) Our children also have to choose between material and spiritual television, or engaging them in much of the frivolities of childhood. But children
life. To prepare them for this choice, do we need to give them experiences of who get a taste for such illusions generally become illusioned. Their higher
both? Do our children need any experience of materialism to choose Kṛṣṇa knowledge and taste for Kṛṣṇa become covered. The child asks for further and
consciousness? further indulgence in illusion, because, as Kṛṣṇa tells us, material desires can
The sages do indeed say that to be complete in knowledge one must study never be satisfied. The parents then feel they must give the child māyā because
both spirit and matter. But our children can best gain knowledge of illusion by the child demands it; they forget that they themselves, the parents, sparked that
seeing both illusion and reality from the perspective of reality. demand.
Śrīla Prabhupāda tells us that the most intelligent people learn simply by A good parent or teacher tries to keep a child physically healthy. And there
hearing. Hearing about Kṛṣṇa gives a child a direct perception of spiritual is a way to expose a child to disease in order to prevent disease vaccination. The
happiness and knowledge. And as Kṛṣṇa tells Arjuna, “Upon gaining this one Vedic scriptures offer a similar method for material life in general. A vaccination
thinks there is no greater gain.” (Bhagavad-gītā 6.20-23) Spiritual experience, introduces a disease in a form that isn’t dangerous. Similarly, conditioned souls
then, can give any child the intelligence to stay clear of materialism just by can safely deal with matter in a changed form by using it in Kṛṣṇa’s service. So
hearing about it. children can listen to music glorifying Kṛṣṇa, eat food offered to Kṛṣṇa, watch
But even if a child isn’t convinced by his spiritual experience, adults don’t plays and movies about Kṛṣṇa, use their talents to serve Kṛṣṇa, and possibly
have to arrange for children to have a taste of material life. Even without later marry and raise a family in Kṛṣṇa’s service. This is a way to dovetail
intervention from parents or teachers, each child feels material life moment by material inclinations with spiritual knowledge, to see both māyā and Kṛṣṇa and
moment. What child has no frustrations or disease? What child doesn’t come choose Kṛṣṇa.
across envy, anger, and greed, if not in himself then in others? And what child When māyā is used in Kṛṣṇa’s service under the direction of a guru it ceases
doesn’t see aging and death, at least in the animals and plants that surround to work as a force of illusion. Rather, it acts spiritually to purify material desires.
him? Still, some adults insist that a child will learn best just through his or her own
Our children will also get direct experience of bodily and mental pleasure. experiences, coming to Kṛṣṇa consciousness naturally, just from experiencing
As distress comes, even uninvited, material happiness will also come. material life, without any outside help.
A caring adult will use a child’s naturally occurring painful and pleasurable In ancient times, also, there were parents who argued that their children
experiences as a connection to what the child has heard from scripture. As Dr. would gain spiritual determination simply through their own material lives. An
Howard G. Hendricks writes in The Seven Laws of the Teacher, “You don’t have example cited in the Bhāgavatam is that of Dakṣa:

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“Material enjoyment is indeed the cause of all unhappiness, but one cannot
give it up unless one has personally experienced how much suffering it is.
How to Love Children
Therefore one should be allowed to remain in so-called material enjoyment By Urmilā Devī Dāsī
while at the same time advancing in knowledge to experience the misery of this
false material happiness. Then, without help from others, one will find material Children need lots of love. Love your children, and then love them some
enjoyment detestable. Those whose minds are changed by others do not become more. It’s said that every great man had a mother who gave him much love.
as renounced as those who have personal experience.” (Śrīmad Bhāgavatam We often hear such glorification of love. But what does love really mean?
6.5.41) The stereotype of a smiling parent holding a child with great care is not the
Sometimes we who have come to Kṛṣṇa consciousness as adults assume complete picture of parental love. Judith Viorst, writing in Newsweek, says, “It
that our determination to renounce material life is the result of a bad taste for didn’t take me long to learn that patient, tender, loving, serene, and empathic
illusory enjoyment. Yet in discussing Dakṣa’s statement, Śrīla Prabhupāda tells weren’t always options for the mother of three intensely physical boys.”
us that Dakṣa’s philosophy is wrong. He writes, “The young boys and girls of the Some adults spoil or ruin children through what appears to be lots of love.
Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement have given up the spirit of material enjoyment And some adults are harsh, even cruel, in the name of love.
not because of practice [of material life] but by the mercy of Lord Śrī Caitanya Perhaps the dictionary will help us understand real love. Webster’s first
Māhaprabhu and His servants.” (Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 6.5.41 purport) definition for love is “a strong affection for another arising out of kinship.” In
Why is the experience of material “enjoyment” not enough to teach us? other words, we tend to love our family and relatives. While such love is natural
Prabhupāda explains, “Material nature is so strong that although a man suffers for embodied, materially conditioned souls, it’s imperfect for two reasons. First,
at every step, he will not cease in his attempts to enjoy.” (Śrīmad Bhāgavatam it’s based solely on the body, and second, it’s based solely on bodies related to
6.5.41 purport) our own, so it’s simply extended selfishness. When our love for children rests
Experience, then, won’t enable a child to learn unless hearing comes with only on a selfish, material platform, we’ll inevitably act in ways we feel are best
it. One longs for the happiness of serving Kṛṣṇa not merely because one has for us, not necessarily for our children. Surely this love is inadequate for those
become disgusted with materialism but because hearing from a great soul has aspiring for spiritual elevation.
sparked love of God in one’s heart, so that by comparison material life has no Webster also defines love as “warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion.”
allure. While devotion here could imply a sense of serving another person unselfishly,
it also conjures up a picture of the doting mother who smothers her child with
so much enthusiastic care that the child never really grows up.
Webster’s most applicable definition is “unselfish loyal and benevolent
concern for the good of another.” The dictionary’s example is that of God’s
love for man. If we accept this as a good definition of genuine love, we can then
ask, “How does Kṛṣṇa love His children, all living beings? And from Kṛṣṇa’s
example, what can we learn about the best way to love our own children?”

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What Type of Parent Are You

Kṛṣṇa stays with and cares for all His children, the obedient and the offensive.
He perfectly reciprocates with the desires and inclinations of each soul. If we
are fully devoted to Him, He will appear in the form and relationship we desire. By CDM Children Services
If we wish to be an independent lord, He will give us an opportunity to be Lord
Brahmā, the head of a material universe. Depending on what type of parenting style you use when raising your child,
Kṛṣṇa knows each of us completely, and He directs our wanderings from
the results will vary. These results are largely depending on the type of discipline
lifetime to lifetime, letting us experience enough suffering and frustration to
you use, which can have a noticeable effect on your child’s development. Several
eventually turn to Him. He also arranges for all human beings to have access
psychological studies show that the different approaches to discipline can
to scripture and saintly persons. He even comes Himself to teach the most
influence a child’s mood and temperament even into adulthood. In addition to
beneficial path.
To follow the Lord’s example when dealing with children, we can show love types of discipline, other aspects also influence children’s wellbeing and overall
by guiding them in the best course of action and the best mentality. We can also behavior: the amount of love and affection given to them, their understanding
set the best example. To some extent we can teach our children by letting them ofgiven rules and restrictions, the appropriateness of communication and
experience the natural consequences of their actions and desires. Or, better, we ensuring that their needs are listened to, and being open-minded. All these
can help them learn without direct experience. Whenever a child shows a desire factors play a major role in a child’s formation and the effects are observed
to act to please Kṛṣṇa and follow the scriptures, we can encourage and assist. in the children’s self-esteem, happiness, functionality, self-control, emotional
What is truly good for a child is the same as what is truly good for all balance, task performance, social interactivity, etc.
beings to realize that one is a spiritual being, not a material body, and to serve It is also important to note that children are not only affected by the parenting
Kṛṣṇa rather than the temporary world. When we train a child in such a life, we style of their parents, but also by the parenting styles of teachers or anyone
represent Kṛṣṇa’s love. dealing with children.
What about the small, sweet tokens of affection that materially illusioned The chart below shows some of the generic characteristics of four identified
adults show their children? Do the spiritually-minded abandon these as mere types of parenting styles.
attachment and bondage? Not at all. Looking at Kṛṣṇa’s example again, we
can see that when He shows His love for us in small ways, we naturally feel
AUTHORITARIAN PERMISSIVE NEGLECTFUL AUTHORITATIVE
gratitude, understanding that He cares for us fully. Similarly, the hugs, smiles,
little gifts, words of endearment, and time spent playing together show our High in rules and Low in rules and Low in rules and Set appropriate
restrictions and restrictions. restrictions. rules, restrictions
children a depth of personal concern, a complete love.
expect children and guidelines.
to follow without Adjusts to
exceptions. time, place and
circumstance.

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According to the above chart, the effects that each parenting style generally
AUTHORITARIAN PERMISSIVE NEGLECTFUL AUTHORITATIVE
has on children are:

Low in warmth High in warmth Low in warmth High in warmth Authoritarian Parenting Style
and affection. and affection. and affection. and affection.
Low in open- High in open- Low inopen- High in open- ●● Generally children are “all-rounders and high achievers,” obedient,
mindedness. mindedness. mindedness and mindedness. conscientious, quiet and do very well in school.
doesn’t meet
●● However, these children are not especially happy and have low self-esteem
children’s needs.
and social competence. They are more likely to be depressed or feel guilty, to
Inflexible with the Few or no rules. Few or no rules. Flexible with the self-blame and to depend on others for making decisions.
rules. rules.
Neglectful Parenting Style
Has the attitude Allows child to do Allows child to do Encourages ●● Usually children rank lowest across all life domains. They tend to have poor
of “my way or as he/she pleases. as he/she pleases. participation from images of themselves, lack self-control and are less competent than their peers.
the highway”. Gives in easily to Children lack children: they
Usually doesn’t their requests and parental attention. always “get their They usually respond poorly to discipline outside the home. When parents are
allow choices demands. Rejects or ignores say” although they uninvolved in their life, these children tend to perform poorly academically.
or freedom of the child. Does not may not always They also exhibit frequent behavioral problems and rank low in happiness.
expression. get involved in the “get their way”.
child’s life. In addition, their inadequate emotional regulation makes them immature and
such children reject their parents’ religion and way of life.
Punish rather Little or no Little or no Dealings are
than discipline, structure. Little or structure. Little or a balance of
Permissive Style
teach or correct. no consequences no consequences being firm, ●● Often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-discipline.
Not usually given to teach children to teach children consistent, fair
reasons for rules right from wrong. right from wrong. and affectionate. They usually experience problems with authority. They tend to struggle
and little room for “Spoiled child” “Wild child” Uses clear academically and have difficulty accepting responsibility.
negotiation. communication ●● They lack self-control, especially within the interaction of peer pressure; their
“Obedient child” and reasoning and
lacks initiative. has reasonable inadequate emotional regulation makes them immature and conditions sustainable
expectations. friendship formation. These children don’t learn to control their behavior and
Encourages child
independence and always expect to get their whims satisfied. They often end up as the “spoiled brat.”
individuality.
“Well-behaved, Authoritative Parenting Style
confident child”
●● Children are likely to be successful, articulate, intelligent, happy with themselves,
capable and generous with others, and tend to be liked by teachers and peers.
*Adapted from Heart and Soul Connection and www.verywell.com Children are likely to be responsible, independent and have high self-esteem.

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 6 | Strictness and Leniency: Finding the Balance Our Future Hope

These studies indicate the validity of the authoritative style as a conducive devotees, then we must educate the children with love, not in a negative way.
way to give children the healthiest upbringing so that they will become happy Of course, if they become naughty we may show the stick but we should never
and successful in their lives. The authoritative parenting style shows a balance use it. Child is nonsense, so you can trick him to obey you by making some little
between love and discipline. It provides equilibrium between restrictions and story and the child will become cheated in the proper behavior. But never apply
granting independence to the child. Parents who use this given style explain the force, especially to his chanting and other matters of spiritual training. That
reasoning behind their actionswhen setting restrictions or requiring a specific will spoil him and in the future he will not like to do it if he is forced.”
behavior. They are consistent in their dealings with their children and teach by
(Letter to Brahmaṇya Tīrtha, Ahmedabad—10 December, 1972)
example while providing warmth and supportive guidance.
It is important to determine your type of parenting style from the above On the other hand, parents may be too lenient and think it is better to let their
descriptions and to consider the results of each style. Since for devotees, real children develop an attachment for devotional service (e.g. a taste for chanting)
success in being a parent is to give children a Kṛṣṇa conscious environment, on their own. This is also another extreme and is not beneficial, as being too
the authoritative style seems to serve this purpose through the tacit application lenient may result in the child not taking up devotional service seriously because
of brahminical qualities such as being broad-minded, exemplary, balanced, they were not inspired and properly guided by their parents.
and acting according to time, place and circumstances. Śrīla Prabhupāda often Cāṇakya Paṇḍita explains, “If you are lenient with your children, they will
recommended using different approaches with children according to the specific acquire many faults, but if you are strict with them, they will develop good
circumstances. Depending on the situation, the details of flexibility with the qualities. Either with your son, your disciple, or your student, you should always
rules may change, but the principles remain the same. strictly enforce the rules. Don’t be lenient. After all they’re children. If you are
At times devotee parents may be too imposing on their children (authoritarian lenient with them, they will think the usual practice is to be undisciplined. No.
style) or rather let them do whatever they want (permissive style). However, They must rise early. That is discipline.”
both these extremes are not helpful for an optimal outcome. The underlying In conclusion, it is apparent that there are parenting styles that can be conducive
recommendation is balance; it is not good to be too strict, nor too lenient. The in helping children to develop Kṛṣṇa consciousness and parenting styles that can
authoritative parenting style aims at achieving this required balance. be detrimental. The essential idea is to offer a balanced approach, to avoid being
For example, when parents want to encourage children to engage in extreme and to have a conscientious style of parenting. A parent should see their
devotional service (e.g. chanting japa, etc.) they may put too much force on children as a rare gift and offer his or her parenting service as a means to bring
them. As a result of this, in the future children may reject the process of Kṛṣṇa them closer to Kṛṣṇa. The crucial question is “What type of parent are you?”, and
consciousness (chanting, service, etc.) because they saw it as an imposition or a most importantly, “What type of parent do you want to be?”
way of punishment. Śrīla Prabhupāda speaks on this matter:
“A child is a rare gift given by Kṛṣṇa, but at the same time a great responsibility;
“Regarding your question should force be used on children, no, there shall every parent has the responsibility to see that his child grows up Kṛṣṇa conscious. I
be no forcing the children to do anything. Child should not be forced. This is know that you understand this, and will always make Kṛṣṇa the center of your home.”
all nonsense. Who has devised these things? If we want them to become great
(Letter from Śrīla Prabhupāda to Haṁsadūta, Vrndavan—15 August, 1967)

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 APPENDIX
Quotes from Śrīla Prabhupāda
Children are Our Future Hope

“That is the success of the movement, because younger generation, they are the
flowers, the future hope of the country, of the world. If they take this movement
seriously then the whole world will be happy.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda Lecture—20 July, 1972)

“These children are the future hope of our Society, so it is a very important matter
how we are training them in Kṛṣṇa consciousness from the very childhood.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda Letter to Satsvarūpa Mahārāja—11 April, 1973)

“If the children are given a Kṛṣṇa conscious education from early childhood
then there is great hope for the future of the world.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Dayānanda & Nandarāṇī —27 January, 1973)

“Please also take care of the children. They are our future hopes, and the
adolescent age is the most dangerous age. It is the turning point of one’s life.
In this age, if you take care of the children, surely they will come out first class
Kṛṣṇa conscious devotees.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Hayagrīva—7 November, 1969)

“I understand that you are the mother of the little boy Pūrṇima Dāsa. He is very
 Appendix Our Future Hope

nice boy. He is Vaiṣṇava. So you are very fortunate to have such a son. You can “I consider this Gurukula school to be one of our most important aspects of this
take it that Kṛṣṇa has given you this son. So you must take care of him nicely movement and it should be given all serious consideration by the members. If we
and raise him in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. All these boys must be taken care of very are able to make a whole generation of our children into fine Kṛṣṇa conscious
nicely. They are the future hope. When he is ready, he must be taught English preachers that will be the glory of our movement and the glory of your country
and Sanskrit.” as well. But if we neglect somehow or other and if we lose even one Vaiṣṇava,
that is very great loss.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Suchitra—20 July, 1974)
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Stoka-kṛṣṇa 20 June, 1972)
“Extend your activities to the University campus because the younger generation
is our future hope. Bamboo while it is green can be bent and carved, but while it “A child is a rare gift given by Kṛṣṇa, but at the same time a great responsibility;
every parent has the responsibility to see that his child grows up Kṛṣṇa
is yellow and ripe if there is any attempt to bend it, it cracks. Kṛṣṇa is evergreen
conscious. I know that you understand this, and will always make Kṛṣṇa the
youthful Original Person and He gathers around Him all young boys and girls
center of your home”
as cowherd boys and gopīs in His eternal Vṛndāvana Līlā. So try seriously
to impress upon the young hearts and you will be successful. Try to get that (Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Haṁsadūta—15 August, 1967)
fraternity house as soon as possible.”
“Good population in human society is the basic principle for peace, prosperity,
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Gajendra—27 January, 1970)
and spiritual progress in life.”

It is necessary for the leaders of the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement to start (Bhagavad-gītā 1.40)
educational institutions in different parts of the world to train children, starting
at the age of five years. Thus such children will not become hippies or spoiled “One who cannot deliver his dependents from the path of repeated birth and
children of society; rather, they can all become devotees of the Lord. The face death should never become a spiritual master, a father, a husband, a mother or
a worshipable demigod.”
of the world will then change automatically.
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 5.5.18)
(Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 4.12.23 purport)

Educating Children in Krishna Consciousness

Children as a Blessing
“Yes, the proof of your teaching method shall be seen in the spiritual improvement
“These children are given to us by Kṛṣṇa, they are Vaiṣṇavas and we must be
and fresh enthusiasm exhibited by the children. If they are allowed to worship
very careful to protect them.”
the Deity by practicing performing ārati very seriously, plus always be engaged
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Arundhatī—30 July, 1972) in different various activities centered round Kṛṣṇa, then their education will

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 Appendix Our Future Hope

be completely successful. The children should always be instructed by taking subjects of knowledge on the other hand.”
advantage of their playful mood and teaching them to play Kṛṣṇa games like (Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Stoka-kṛṣṇa 20 June, 1972)
become cowherd boys, cows, peacocks, demons and in this way if they always
think of Kṛṣṇa by playing just like they are actually present in association with
“The children should be trained in early rising, attending maṅgala-ārati, some
Kṛṣṇa then they will become Kṛṣṇa conscious very quickly. In addition, there
elementary education: arithmetic, alphabet, some of our books, like that. They
should be a little ABC, then prasāda, then worshiping the Deity, then more
should go to bed by 8 p.m. and rise by 4 a.m. for maṅgala -ārati, getting 8
playing Kṛṣṇa games, some kīrtana, a little more ABC, like that. In this way,
hours sleep. If they take 8 hours sleep, they will not fall asleep during ārati.
always keep their minds and bodies engaged in different activities because
When they get up they should wash with a little warm water, at least three times
children are restless by nature so they will want to change often.”
wash face. They may sleep one hour in the afternoon and there is no harm.
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Stoka-kṛṣṇa—13 June, 1972) Encourage them to chant as much japa as possible, but there is no question
of force or punishment. If there is need you may shake your finger at them but
“Let them be able to read our books very nicely, and that will be their higher never physical punishment is allowed. Try as far as possible to discipline them
education. Keep them always happy in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and do not try to with love and affection, so that they develop a taste for austerity of life and think
force or punish or they will get the wrong idea. By and by, if they are satisfied in it great fun to serve Kṛṣṇa in many ways. Rising early and maṅgala-ārati, this
this way, they will all grow up to be first-class preachers and devotees.” is enough austerity. Besides that, let them learn something, chant, dance, eat
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Satsvarūpa Mahārāja—16 February, 1972) as much prasāda as they like, and do not mind if they have playful nature—let
them also play and run, that is natural. It is nice if they eat often—if children
over eat it doesn’t matter, that is no mistake. Boys and girls should be educated
“Our students specifically, they should take care of reading Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam.
separately.”
We have therefore prescribed in our school, Dallas that let them simply learn
Sanskrit and English, because English translation they will be able to read, (Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Aniruddha—10 January, 1972)
and the Sanskrit verses are there. And from the very beginning, if they begin
education with Bhagavad-gītā and then comes to Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam and “They cannot learn because they do not undergo austerity. That is the defect.
reads the whole literature, then they will be more than M.A., Ph.D. more than. No education is there how to perform austerity. Therefore Vedic civilization is
The knowledge will be so advanced.” how to teach small children austerities. That is brahmacārī. So we want to start
(Lecture on Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 1.16.22—12 July, 1974) this brahmacārī-āśrama, or gurukula, to learn austerity from the beginning of
life. Then their life will be successful.”
“The main point is that these children may be given the two-fold program of (Lecture on Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 7.9.35)
education in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, namely, chanting and performing devotional
activities on the one hand, and some knowledge of our philosophy and other “In training the children you will see that whatever is taught to them they will

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take very seriously.” one will renounce what he has accepted as the standard of enjoyment, to accept
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Satsvarūpa Mahārāja -29 January, 1972) a standard of less enjoyment.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Himāvatī—17 November, 1971)
“If we simply learn how to worship Kṛṣṇa, how to please Him, how to dress Him
nicely, how to give Him nice foodstuff, how to decorate Him with ornaments “Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī remarks in this connection that every child, if given an
and flowers, how to offer our respectful obeisances unto Him, how to chant impression of the Lord from his very childhood, certainly becomes a great
His name, in this way, if we simply think, without any so-called education we devotee of the Lord like Mahārāja Parīkṣit. One may not be as fortunate as
become the perfect person within the universe. This is Kṛṣṇa consciousness. It Mahārāja Parīkṣit to have the opportunity to see the Lord in the womb of his
doesn’t require A-B-C-D education. It requires simply change of consciousness. mother, but even if he is not so fortunate, he can be made so if the parents of
So if these children are being taught from the very beginning of their life... We the child desire him to be so. There is a practical example in my personal life in
had the opportunity of being trained up by our parents like this.” this connection. My father was a pure devotee of the Lord, and when I was only
(Lecture—3 March, 1975) four or five years old, my father gave me a couple of forms of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa.
In a playful manner, I used to worship these Deities along with my sister, and I
“Therefore education of Kṛṣṇa consciousness should be given from the very used to imitate the performances of a neighboring temple of Rādhā-Govinda.
childhood, kaumara. Kaumāra means from the age of fifth year up to the tenth By constantly visiting this neighboring temple and copying the ceremonies in
year. This is called kaumāra age… Children, as you teach them, they learn. connection with my own Deities of play, I developed a natural affinity for the
They are innocent. Unfortunately, we do not give them training about Kṛṣṇa Lord. My father used to observe all the ceremonies befitting my position. Later
consciousness. We give them education for sense gratification, how you can on, these activities were suspended due to my association in the schools and
earn money, economic development.” colleges, and I became completely out of practice. But in my youthful days,
when I met my spiritual master, Śrī Śrīmad Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Gosvāmī
(Lecture on Bhagavad-gītā 4.21—10 April, 1974)
Mahārāja, again I revived my old habit, and the same playful Deities became
my worshipful Deities in proper regulation. This was followed up until I left
“Children especially are inclined to appreciate Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes, so begin by
the family connection, and I am pleased that my generous father gave the first
reading to them from Kṛṣṇa Book. They are not yet covered by false prestige
impression which was developed later into regulative devotional service by
and will very quickly take to tapasya as if it were amusing like a game! Just see
His Divine Grace. Mahārāja Prahlāda also advised that such impressions of a
the young brahmacārīs in India. The Guru says do this, do that—immediately
godly relation must be impregnated from the beginning of childhood, otherwise
they do—they go out and beg all day in the hot sun and come back with a little
one may miss the opportunity of the human form of life, which is very valuable
rice, then take rest on the floor with no covering. And they are enjoying, it is
although it is temporary like others.”
pleasurable to them to work very hard. So it is very important to train children
to endure all sorts of hardships and restrictions at the boyhood stage. Later, no (Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 1.12.30 purport)

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Example and Association will always do as they see others doing, so if by the good association of their
parents and the other older persons, they will come out nicely fixed in Kṛṣṇa
“Example is better than precept. You should all be personal examples. If you consciousness, and because they are not spoiled by an artificial standard of
do not practice what you preach, but simply force the children, that will not be sense gratification, they will think that performing austerities is great fun.”
very good. If every one of you rises early in the morning, so will the children.
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Satyabhāmā—28 February, 1972)
You shouldn’t think, “All this austerity is meant for the students, not for us. We
are liberated now so we can sleep until 7:30.” Both teachers and students must
“Children imitate whoever they associate with. You all know the movie Tarzan.
perform devotional service.”
He was brought up by monkeys, and he took on the habits of monkeys. If you
(Śrīla Prabhupāda conversation with school administrators – Circa 1975) keep children in good association, their psychological development will be very
good—they will become like demigods. But if you keep them in bad association,
“No, example is better than precept. If you actually follow strictly the rules and they will turn out to be demons. Children are a blank slate. You can mold them
regulations and chant sixteen rounds, why they’ll not follow? They’ll follow. If as you like, and they are eager to learn.”
you are not attending class, if you are not attending maṅgala-ārati, if you are
(Śrīla Prabhupāda conversation with Śyāmasundara—5 October, 1971)
not finishing sixteen rounds, then that is bad example.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda morning walk—2 November, 1975) “In teaching the children, you should refer very carefully to my books. The
qualities of a brahman as mentioned in Bhagavad-gītā chapter 18: śamo
“Unless one is firmly convinced about Kṛṣṇa consciousness, I don’t think the damas tapaḥ śaucaṁ (Bhagavad-gītā 18.42). You must teach these qualities.
children will learn properly from such a person.” These qualities will naturally come out, if you just give the process purely. The
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Satsvarūpa—16 February, 1972) information is there in my books so if you strictly adhere to them then your
program of teaching will be successful. First of all you must teach by your
“Whatever the elder members are doing, the children should do if possible. personal example. This is the principle of Lord Caitanya Māhaprabhu (āpani
But for teaching the teachers themselves should be fixed up initiated devotees, ācari’ bhakti karila pracāra). So you yourself must chant 16 rounds and follow
otherwise how the children can get the right information and example?” the regulative principles and automatically they will do as you are doing. Then
they will become strong Vaiṣṇavas.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Aniruddha—7 March, 1972)
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Hiraṇyagarbha—19 August, 1974)
“If the children simply do as their elders are doing, that is, regularly attending
maṅgala-ārati, rising early, chanting, eating prasāda, looking at books, “So these things are being shown regularly in the cinema. What character will
worshiping the [deity] like that, then automatically they will become trained up be formed of the young men? By seeing once, this Ajāmila, he fell down so
in right way and there is no need for special program for education. Children much, and our boys and girls are seeing these things every day in the cinema.

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 Appendix Our Future Hope

So what kind of character you can expect from them? These are the instruction in the hospital, they are also fasting. But they’ll “No, no.” They’ll, within heart,
to be taken from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam.” “If I get, I shall eat, I shall eat.” But those who are devotee, they voluntarily
(Lecture on Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 6.1.56-62) “no.”
(Śrīla Prabhupāda conversation—31 July, 1976)
Effective discipline
“Regarding your question should force be used on children, no, there shall
“Not strict. Everything should be done on the basis of love. Strictness is not be no forcing thechildren to do anything. Child should not be forced. This is
very good. The students should act automatically, out of love. That is wanted. all nonsense. Who has devised these things? If we want them to become great
Superficially, strictness may be necessary—some material laws or basic devotees, then we must educate the children with love, not in a negative way.
principles—and if they don’t follow they’ll be reprimanded. But they should Of course, if they become naughty we may show the stick but we should never
develop the idea of love.” use it. Child is nonsense, so you can trick him to obey you by making some little
(Śrīla Prabhupāda conversation with school administrators – Circa, 1975) story and the child will become cheated in the proper behavior. But never apply
force, especially to his chanting and other matters of spiritual training. That
“Cāṇakya Paṇḍita once said: If you are lenient with your children, they will will spoil him and in the future he will not like to do it if he is forced.”
acquire many faults, but if you are strict with them, they will develop good (Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to BrahmaṇyaTītha – 10 December, 1972)
qualities.” Either with your son, your disciple, or your student, you should
always strictly enforce the rules. Don’t be lenient. After all they’re children. If “Simply they should be engaged in such a way that they are somehow or other
you are lenient with them, they will think the usual practice is to be undisciplined. remembering Kṛṣṇa at every moment, that’s all. It is not something mechanical
No. They must rise early. That is discipline.” process, if we force in such a way they will come out like this, no. We are persons,
(Śrīla Prabhupāda conversation with school administrators – Circa 1975) and Kṛṣṇa is a Person, and our relationship with Kṛṣṇa He leaves open as a
voluntary agreement always, and that voluntary attitude—Yes, Kṛṣṇa, I shall
“Don’t say “no.” But give a taste for the good, then it will be automatically gladly co-operate whatever you say—that ready willingness to obey is only
“no.” And if you say “no” then he’ll, they will rebel. The four “no’s,” that is possible if there is love. Forcing will not make me agree. But if there is love,
very difficult. Still they are breaking. No illicit sex, they are breaking. But if oh, I shall gladly do it. That is bhakti, that is Kṛṣṇa consciousness. So similarly,
they develop Kṛṣṇa consciousness, this will be automatically “no.” So don’t if we train children by developing and encouraging their propensity to love
bring many “no’s,” but give them positive life. Then it will be automatically Kṛṣṇa, then we shall be successful in educating them to the topmost standard.
“no.” And if you say “no,” that will be a struggle. This is the psychology. Then they shall always very happily agree to do whatever you ask them. So I
Positive engagement is devotional service. So if they are attracted by devotional have heard that there has been some beating with sticks on the children. Of
service, other things will be automatically “no” paraṁ dṛṣṭvā nivartate. Just course I do not know, but that should not be. You may show the stick, threaten,
like Ekādaśī day. Ekādaśī day, we observe fasting. And there are many patients but better art is to somehow or other, even by tricking them, avoid this matter of

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 Appendix Our Future Hope

force and induce them to obey out of loving spirit. That is success of disciplinary
method.”
Resource Guide
(Śrīla Prabhupāda letter to Rūpa Vilāsa – 18 November, 1972) 1. Art of Teaching – Bhūrijana Dāsa, Author
2. Art of Parenting – Book Available at VOICE Publishing
3. Homeschooling Krishna’s Children – Aruddha Devī Dāsi, Author
4. From the Very Beginning – Available at CDM Website
5. Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam Study Guides for Children – Available at CDM
Website
6. Sunday School Curriculum – http://harekrishnasundayschool.com/
7. http://kids.iskcondesiretree.com/
8. Kṛṣṇa Conscious Games - http://games.iskcondesiretree.com/Outdoor_
Games/
9. Activity Books: http://store.Kṛṣṇa.com/activity-books/
10. Children Books: https://krishnastore.in/books-childrens-books-om-21_75.
html
11. Kṛṣṇa Conscious Videos: https://krishnastore.in/video-childrens-
om-39_56.html
12. Puppet Shows: https://www.youtube.com/
playlist?list=PLAvxaXXDvdlhIJVLgutJOpLcwOwhzoGsJ
13. Prabhupāda Memories: https://www.youtube.com/
playlist?list=PL1E076CF90393FEB3
14. Materials for youth and children: http://urmiladevidasi.org/category/free-
educational-materials/
15. Materials for children (Festival Books, Illustrated Bhagavad-gīta,
Vaikuṇṭha Children Book): Urmiladevidasi.org

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 Appendix Our Future Hope

Twenty ¯five Krishna Conscious Activities c. Practice kīrtanas or bhajans to sing for a special program in the temple.
6. Learn Bhajans from Vaiṣṇava Ācāryas along with the meanings
Here are 25 ideas that you can do with children in order to mould their lives a. Learn temple songs with translations so children actually know what
around Kṛṣṇa—making Him the centre and giving them a fun Kṛṣṇa conscious they are saying to the Lord.
upbringing in order to raise them to be good devotees of the Lord. In this way b. Learn other bhajans from Vaiṣṇava ācāryas.
hopefully we can guide children to the correct path and bring them closer to c. To make it more exciting you can incorporate music and learn these
bhajans on a harmonium with mṛdaṅga and karatālas to keep beat.
Kṛṣṇa.
7. Play Kṛṣṇa Conscious Games
1. Cooking for Kṛṣṇa
a. Simply Wonderfuls 8. Memorize Ślokas and Prayers
b. Cookies a. Gīta ślokas
b. Śikṣāṣṭakam
c. Laddu
c. Maṅgalācaraṇa
d. Fruit Salad
9. Theatrical Activities
e. Samosas and much more!
a. Do dramas based on recent pastimes read.
2. Teach Basic Vaiṣṇava Etiquette b. Do dramas based on upcoming festivals.
a. How to behave in the temple. c. Organize a cultural program night where children do dramas, dances,
b. How to deal with devotees. musicals.
c. How to deal with non-devotees. 10. Inspire Them to Color and Draw About Kṛṣṇa
d. Honouring and serving Prasāda. a. Get Kṛṣṇa Conscious coloring books.
3. Read Together b. Kids love to draw so always leave some pencil and paper around for
a. Kṛṣṇa Book them.
b. Mahābhārata 11. Buy Kṛṣṇa Conscious Activity Books for Them
c. Rāmāyaṇa 12. Watch Kṛṣṇa Conscious Videos
d. Śrīla Prabhupāda Līlāmṛta and much more! a. Abhay Caran
4. Chant Japa Together b. Little Kṛṣṇa
a. Inspire them to chant a set number of rounds daily. c. Prabhupāda Memories
b. Get them counter beads, it is more exciting for them. d. Puppet Shows
c. Inspire them to chant extra rounds on festival days. 13. Teach Them Śāstra
d. Have a set time for chanting daily. a. 10 offenses to the holy name.
e. Inspire them to chant some rounds for the benefit of a loved one. b. 26 qualities of a Vaiṣṇava.
5. Have Kīrtanas c. Reincarnation.
a. Have kīrtanas at home with family. d. Nine processes of devotional service.
b. Have a kīrtana day, where all friends are invited to do kīrtana together. e. Importance of chanting.

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a. Go through essential verses of the Gītā. b. Feed cows.

b. Study Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. c. Bathe cows.
d. Play with them.
14. Needlework
e. Brush them.
a. Crochet
b. Knitting 22. Take Association from Senior Vaiṣṇavas
c. Sewing deity clothes. a. Serve them.
b. Hear from them.
15. Other Devotional Activities c. Cook for them.
a. Harināmas
b. Food for life 23. Do Fun Activities Based on Upcoming Festivals
c. Book Distribution a. Do a drama based on the pastime.
d. Temple Service b. Read the pastime.
c. Flower decorations for altar in home.
16. Teach Music d. Cook.
a. Harmonium e. Make presents for the Lord.
b. Mṛdaṅga f. Make a card for the Lord.
c. Karatālas g. Do a puppet show.
d. Sing songs with them.
24. Teach Them About Different Personalities
17. Do Arts and Crafts With Them a. Daśāvatāras
a. Kṛṣṇa conscious collages. b. Vaiṣṇava ācāryas
b. Hanumān or Narasiṁhadeva masks. c. Six Gosvāmīs
c. Make puppets. d. Devotees from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam
d. Picture frames for Deity pictures.
25. Teach Them Basic Deity Worship
18. Garland Making a. Ārati
a. Make garlands for Deities at home. b. Ācamana
b. Different types of garlands—dried fruits and nuts, flowers. c. Offering bhoga
c. Make garlands for a special guest in temple. d. Dressing Deities
19. Jewelry Making e. Tilaka mantras
a. Make jewelry for deities at home f. Explain importance of Deity worship.
20. Vaiṣṇava Sevā
a. Cook for a devotee.
b. Make a gift.
c. Help a sick devotee.
21. Go-sevā
a. Clean gośālā.

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 Appendix Our Future Hope

Congregational Development Ministry 6. Third Partner

Products in Relation with Children

An insightful guide on how to make Kṛṣṇa the Third Partner in our
marriage. This concise text shows how marriage partners can be satisfied at all
levels: physically, mentally, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually in your
1. Family Newsletter relationship.
A compendium of articles addressing current issues and concerns that devotee
7. Youth Newsletter
families face in their day to day lives. Renowned authors such as Rādhānatha
“What the future holds for those born or grown in ISKCON?” This and
Swami, Mahātmā Dāsa, Kṛṣṇānandinī Devī Dāsī, and others provide their point
many other poignant articles, prompt readers to seriously consider and reflect
of view on how to conduct their family affairs in the modern world with the aim
the current situation of the youth in our movement. This issue includes a fresh
of developing their Kṛṣṇa Consciousness in the gṛhasta āśrama.
view on successful and inspiring programs around the world.
2. From the Very Beginning
8. Art of Parenting- Principles and Practices
A pre-school handbook full of ideas and guidance for parents and educators
This book, a treasure-house of wisdom, comes as a boon for parenting. It
of young children to make their time with the children joyful, productive and
is a rich collection of articles by the disciples of Śrīla Prabhupāda and senior
connected with Kṛṣṇa.
Vaiṣṇavas presented in the form of:
3. Garbhadana Samskara ●● Inspiring instructions from Śrīla Prabhupāda’s books, letters and

A complete guide on the science of Vedic Family Planning. This is a thorough conversations.
set of recommendations on the process of sacred procreation supported by ●● Real life examples and anecdotes from devotees and their children.
medical, cultural, astrological and spiritual instructions. ●● Deeper insights into the practical aspects of parenting.

4. Heart and Soul Connection 9. Srimad-Bhagavatam – Canto 1, Volume 1 and 2 –

An excellent and comprehensive guide of marital advice and solutions. A Comprehensive Guide for Young Readers
Especially valuable for those wishing to establish moral and spiritually based This guide provides children, parents and teachers with a delightful way to
marriage and family founded on Kṛṣṇa conscious principles. study Śrīla Prabhupāda’s Bhāgavatam, chapter by chapter. After you have read
and discussed the translations with your children, you can turn to this guide for
5. The Book of Icebreakers a chapter summary, key themes, analogies, and character descriptions. There are
An interesting compilation of more than 300 ideas for any kind of meetings. many fun and educational activities for each chapter, including word searches,
Whether home programs, youth retreats, seminars, decision-making sessions, language puzzles, art projects and songs. The activities accommodate a range
reunions, and any time you want to add dynamic and fruitful interaction to a of different learning styles, with the aim of cultivating in our children a lifelong
gathering this is a most handy resource. love for reading Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam.

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 Appendix Our Future Hope

10. Krishna Krida More Products of the Congregational

Development Ministry
Children have natural attitude to play. And, Kṛṣṇa’s playful pastimes are
natural attraction for a conditioned soul. Hence children can from very beginning
cultivate taste for devotional service very easily and can be raised up to the
stage of ruci, āsakti and premā. The book involves detailed description of the 1. Bhakti-vriksa - Introductory Edifications (CD)
psychology of a child at different age groups and how sambandha, abhidheya, This set of modules for 32 weekly sessions, facilitates the advancement
prayojana can be achieved at every stage. The book goes on to deal in great of newer devotees by providing detailed guidance in the understanding and
detail with each and every game Kṛṣṇa played with His cowherd friends. King application of Kṛṣṇa Consciousness. Some particularly useful features such as
Parīkṣit used to play similarly in love of Kṛṣṇa as explained by our acaryas. quizzes and exercises encourage members to share their realizations amongst
themselves and with others outside the group. It is specifically intended for a
Western audience.

2. Bhakti-vriksa - User Guide for Leaders

Provides leaders with facilitation skills, tools and a comprehensive process
to run their weekly Bhakti-vṛkṣa meetings. Following these guidelines can
guarantee optimal learning dynamics and ensure consistent development of
their Bhakti-vṛkṣa members. This set of books is available in English and Tamil
and is also available in CD.

3. Bhakti-vriksa - Lessons for Members

These books are designed to help members to systematically advance in
their understanding of the philosophy and practice of Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
The detailed explanations enable Bhakti-vṛkṣa members to easily grasp the
sequence of information provided in the weekly meetings. This set of books is
available in English and Tamil and is also available in CD.

4. Bhakti-vriksa - Manual
Provides essential and thorough information to understand and start the
Bhakti-vṛkṣa program. This material is the result of years of practical experience
and extensive research on methods proven successful in various circumstances
around the world. The principles given here will be useful for a wide range of

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 Appendix Our Future Hope

congregational preachers. This book is also available in CD. A summarized guide on the spiritual counseling provided to Bhakti-vṛkṣa
members as a process intended to help them apply Kṛṣṇa conscious principles
5. Bhakti-vriksa - Training Modules in their daily lives. The book gives helpful tips on how to process the sharing of
An essential aid for the Bhakti-vṛkṣa Servant Leader (Group Leader) to thoughts and feelings in confidence with someone who needs assistance within
conduct the group meetings in a systematic manner and ensure the group’s the groups.
spiritual progress. These modules are divided into five parts according to the
Śikṣā levels (Śraddhāvān, Kṛṣṇa Sevaka, Kṛṣṇa Sādhaka, Śrīla Prabhupāda 10. Damodara Kit
Āśraya, and Guru Āśraya).These modules are also available in CD. A user-friendly kit to facilitate your celebration of the auspicious
Dāmodara month individually or in teams of devotees. It includes a power
6. Bhakti-vriksa - Handbook point presentation to encourage people to learn about the pastime, listen to
Compiled for the benefit of the Bhakti-vṛkṣa members, it contains and sing the Dāmodaraṣṭakam song, present the program to others, and hear
information on the method of worship, observing Ekādasī, preparing prasāda, Śrīla Prabhupāda’s own description of the pastime. It also includes a children’s
etc. which are required for the day-to-day practice of Kṛṣṇa consciousness at version slideshow as well as handouts for participants, a brochure and a report
the different stages of the Śikṣā program. This is also available in CD. template.

7. Bhakti-vriksa -Teacher’s Handbook 11. Free to Preach

This Book is a comprehensive guide to help the Bhakti-vṛkṣa Servant A touching and personal account of a gṛhastha couple spreading Kṛṣṇa
Leaders in undertaking their classes. consciousness in a Muslim country in the Middle East. Written by Prema
Some Special Features of this Book: Padminī Devī Dāsi, this small book describes the pioneering efforts of Bhakti-
●● Set Aims and Objectives of each Week of the Module. vṛkṣa, her husband, Vijay Veṇugopāla Dāsa, from a home-based initiative. This
●● Relevant topics given to each week. preaching endeavor resulted in over two thousand devotees.
●● Guide to conduct the Bhakti-vṛkṣa comprehensively.
12. The Gita Program (CDs)
●● Covered all the parts of Bhakti-vṛkṣa Week: Spiritual Edification, Nectar
of Holy Name and Preaching is the Essence. This package consists of two parts:(1) The PowerPoint presentations on
the essence of the Gītā to be delivered in six sessions, and all the necessary
8. Bhakti-vriksa - Training Modules Workbooks material (Word documents, questionnaires, supporting notes, etc.) to conduct
An aid for Bhakti-vṛkṣa members in deepening their knowledge of the an 18 week summarized study on the Bhagavad-gītā As It Is.
Bhagavad Gītā. The workbook offers open-book tests based on the specific 13. Gita Tutorials (DVD)
theme of the chapters of the Bhakti-vṛkṣa modules. These workbooks are
These video recorded tutorials aim at helping anyone to present the
available in English and Hindi.
introductory sessions of the Gītā Program Power Point slide shows (part of
9. Counseling in Bhakti-vriksa the Gītā Program Package). They explain the strategies that can be used when

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 Appendix Our Future Hope

sharing the teachings of the Bhagavad-gītā to newcomers. With the help of to contribute to the successful training of local devotees (e.g. Kolkata’s over
these tutorials you will have a better understanding of the slides, the reasoning 100 Bhakti-vṛkṣa groups). Several additional activities make this material an
for their particular design and sequence, plus the connections between the excellent addition for those advancing in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. This book is
different sessions. available in English, Bengali and Hindi.

14. Sri Godruma Kalpatavi 18. Nectar of Congregational Preaching

A compendium of writings originally produced by Śrīla Bhaktivinoda An inspirational overview of the development of Kṛṣṇa consciousness
Ṭhākura to guide leaders and members in his Nāma-haṭṭa preaching movement. among the congregational members of ISKCON from the beginning of
His Holiness Jayapatākā Mahārāja felt the Godruma Kalpaṭavi to be so relevant congregational preaching until the present. It’s insightful, contains instructions
to the lives of devotees today that he translated the text and inspired the book’s from our previous ācāryas, and many realizations and personal accounts of
publication. The topics discussed here are very practical issues often faced by success in congregational development by ISKCON Gurus, GBCs, and leading
those with families and careers who also want to fully engage in practicing and preachers.
preaching Kṛṣṇa consciousness. A ‘must’ for those involved in congregational
preaching. This book is available in English, Hindi, Bengali and Russian.
19. Super Sunday
Muslims on Friday, Jews on Saturday, Christians on Sunday—they all retreat
15. Holy Jail from their work routine and attend religious services. Most faithful persons use
A touching compilation of the activities of ISKCON Prison Ministries the weekly holiday for remembering God and advancing on the spiritual path.
(IPM) by His Holiness Candramauli Mahārāja. In over thirty years of operation, This book looks into the practice of holding Sunday Programs in our ISKCON
the lives of hundreds of inmates have changed due to the practice of Kṛṣṇa temples and preaching centers around the world; how to improve it and make
consciousness and the support received by devotees. the most of the most popular outreach initiative in our movement.

16. Sraddhavan 20. The Bhakti-vriksa Leader

This book is formulated in a way that has proven to be highly successful in This book is meant for devotees who have been given the responsibility of
Kolkata (they have over 100 Bhakti-vṛkṣa groups). With additional topics such serving as a Bhakti-vṛkṣa Leader and for those who are thinking of implementing
as memorizing ślokas, Vaiṣṇava etiquette, introduction to festivals, quizzes the Bhakti-vṛkṣa organization in their yātrā. This book is available in English
and other activities, this book caters for the needs of new devotees who are and Spanish.
beginning in the process of spiritual advancement. This book is available in
English, Bengali and Hindi.
21. The Sector Leader
This book is meant for devotees who have been serving as Bhakti-vṛkṣa
17. Krishna Sevaka Sector Leaders and for those wanting to have a more detailed understanding of
This book is part of the sequence of the Śikṣā Levels (Śraddhāvān, Kṛṣṇa the organizational system of the Bhakti-vṛkṣa program. This book is available
Sevaka, etc.) complementing the other corresponding booklets. It is designed in English and Spanish.

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 Appendix Our Future Hope

22. A Vaisnava in Every Neighborhood Article Sources

A concise book describing the characteristics of Vaiṣṇava communities
where the loving and caring mood is an essential part of the core fabric of 1. Parenting as Service to God - Back to Godhead, May/June 2009 |
Volume-43 Number-03 –Kṛṣṇānandinī Devī Dāsī
the community. The text explores how to create—and maintain—vibrant and
supportive devotee communities around any ISKCON temple or center around 2. The Eleven Commandments of Parenting – The Yoga of Parenting -
the world. Kṛṣṇānandinī Devī Dāsī
3. Definition of a Teacher - Vaikuṇṭha Children, May 1992, Chapter 3, page
43 - Adapted from Jyotirmayī Devī Dāsī
4. Specific Teaching Methods - Vaikuṇṭha Children, May 1992, Part 2,
Chapter 5, page 116 – Urmila Devī Dāsī.
5. Nourishment for Parents and Teachers - Back to Godhead, Nov 1, 1997
| Schooling Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Volume-31 Number-06 - Urmilā Devī Dāsi
6. Divine Consciousness Of a Previous Life - Back to Godhead, Jan 1,
1995 | Schooling Kṛṣṇa’s Children,Volume-29 Number-01 - Urmilā Devī
Dāsī
7. Your Kids And the One-Eyed Guru -Back to Godhead, Jul 1, 1993 |
Schooling Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Volume-27 Number-04 – Urmilā Devī Dāsī
8. The Magic Wand - Back to Godhead (Indian Issue), Nov 1, 2010 |
Volume-07 Number-11 -Tarini Rādhā Devī Dāsī
9. The Test of Education - Back to Godhead, Nov 1, 1993 | Schooling
Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Volume-27 Number-06 - Urmilā Devī Dāsī
10. What’s a Child to Read? - Back to Godhead, Sep 1, 1991 | Schooling
Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Volume-25 Number-05 - Śrī Rāma Dāsa
11. Children and the Holy Name - Homeschooling Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Page
32 - Aruddhā Devī Dāsī
12. Morning Program - Homeschooling Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Page 29 -
Aruddhā Devī Dāsī
13. Deity Worship for Children - Homeschooling Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Page 81
- Aruddhā Devī Dāsī
14. Ślokas Why Memorize Them? - Back to Godhead (Indian Issue), Jan 1,
2011 | Volume-08 Number-01 - Tarini Rādhā Devī Dāsī

186 187
 Appendix Our Future Hope

15. The Playful Mood - Back to Godhead, Jan 1, 1994 | Schooling Kṛṣṇa’s
Children, Volume-28 Number-01 - Urmilā Devī Dāsī
Biographies of Authors
16. Nursery Nectar - Back to Godhead, May 1, 1993 | Schooling Kṛṣṇa’s
Children, Volume-27 Number-03 - Urmilā Devī Dāsī Urmila Devi Dasi
17. Spiritual Holidays - Back to Godhead, Mar 1, 1998 | Schooling Kṛṣṇa’s (Dr. Edith Best), is a disciple of Śrīla Prabhupāda, holds a Bachelor degree
Children, Volume-32 Number-02 - Urmilā Devī Dāsī of Science in Religion and Education; Master of School Administration
18. Higher Vocations - Back to Godhead, Mar 1, 1993 | Schooling Kṛṣṇa’s (MSA), and PhD in Educational Leadership. She has published Vaikuṇṭha
Children, Volume-27 Number-02 - Urmilā Devī Dāsī Children, (a guidebook for devotional education) The Great Mantra for Mystic
19. Why Children Misbehave - Back to Godhead, Mar 1, 1997 | Schooling Meditation, “Dr. Best Learn to Read” (an 83 book complete literacy program
Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Volume-31 Number-02 - Urmilā Devī Dāsī with technology enabling the story books to speak in 25 languages at the touch
20. Motivation for Obedience - Back to Godhead, Nov 1, 1996 | Schooling of a special “pen”) and dozens of articles. With three decades of experience
Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Volume-30 Number-06 - Urmilā Devī Dāsī teaching primary and secondary students; which includes 19 years as a school
21. Discipline At Home - Back to Godhead (Indian Issue), Mar 1, 2009 administrator and leader; she travels worldwide teaching parents and teachers,
Schooling Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Volume-06 Number-03 - Aruddha Devī Dāsī as well as giving general classes and seminars on spiritual life.
22. Just Say No to No - Back to Godhead, May 1, 1999 | Schooling Kṛṣṇa’s
Children, Volume-33 Number-03 - Urmilā Devī Dāsī Sri Rama Dasa
23. Not Allowed - Back to Godhead (Indian Issue), Oct 1, 2009 | Schooling A former Chairman of the ISKCON Board of Education in 1993, he was a
Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Volume-06 Number-10 - Aruddha Devī Dāsī regular contributor to the Back to Godhead magazine in the section “Schooling
24. Determining Standards - Vaikuṇṭha Children, May 1992, Chapter 8, Kṛṣṇa’s Children” authoring several articles on educating children in Kṛṣṇa
Page 224 – Urmilā Devī Dāsī et al. consciousness and related topics.
25. Is Experience the Best Teacher? - Back to Godhead, Jan 1, 1996 |
Schooling Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Volume-30 Number-01 - Urmilā Devī Dāsī Krishnanandini Devi Dasi
26. How to Love Children - Back to Godhead, Mar 1, 1999 | Schooling A disciple of Śrīla Prabhupāda, a Certified Family Life Educator (CFLE),
Kṛṣṇa’s Children, Volume-33 Number-02 - Urmilā Devī Dāsī president of the (ISKCON) Gṛhastha Vision Team and Co-Director of the
Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute (www.dzfi.org). She and her husband, Tariq, have
designed and implemented several curricula relating to marriage, family, and
youth, including the Young Pioneer Project, the S.E.L.F. Healthy Relationship
Course©, Parenting for the 21st Century©, and more. Mother of 10 children,
holds degrees in Education and Sociology and is a member of the National
Council on Family Relations, the National Association of Professional Women
and the Cambridge Who’s Who registry of executives, professionals and

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 Appendix

entrepreneurs since 2010.

Contact info: Email: [email protected]
Website: www.dzfi.org

Tarini Radha Devi Dasi

She is a disciple of His Holiness Jayapatākā Swami and came in touch with
the devotees of ISKCON in Chennai in 1988. Wife of Sumitra Kṛṣṇa Prabhu
(Chennai Temple President) and mother of 4 children, she has been engaged in
services related to children preaching since very early in her spiritual life.
Currently she coordinates spiritual classes for children in Chennai in the
homes of devotees and in a span of 16 years these grew from 10 to 60 centers.
Due to her preaching initiatives in about 20 schools, devotee volunteers preach
Kṛṣṇa consciousness to about 10,000 students per week. Being a former student
of English, her favorite service is to write for children. Besides small story
books, she is the author of a series of 8 story books called Glory of India, which
extols the spiritual glory of India as given in the Purāṇas.

Aruddha Devi Dasi

She is a disciple of His Holiness Gopāla Kṛṣṇa Goswami and with her
husband Anantarūpa Dāsa started the ISKCON temple in Boise, USA in
1986 as a small weekly program in their home. The author of Homeschooling
Krishna’s Children and her husband have homeschooled their children and ran
the Govinda’s restaurant in Boise for 6 years. She travels to temples around
the world delivering seminars on Kṛṣṇa conscious homeschooling. She runs
a Yahoo group for devotee parents interested in homeschooling as well as a
Bhāgavatam study group for children.

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