Full Ebook of Weeknight Recipes Delicious Weeknight Recipes For Breakfast Lunch and Dinner 2Nd Edition Booksumo Press Online PDF All Chapter
Full Ebook of Weeknight Recipes Delicious Weeknight Recipes For Breakfast Lunch and Dinner 2Nd Edition Booksumo Press Online PDF All Chapter
Full Ebook of Weeknight Recipes Delicious Weeknight Recipes For Breakfast Lunch and Dinner 2Nd Edition Booksumo Press Online PDF All Chapter
https://ebookmeta.com/product/weeknight-recipes-delicious-
weeknight-recipes-for-breakfast-lunch-and-dinner-3rd-edition-
booksumo-press/
https://ebookmeta.com/product/weeknight-recipes-essential-
recipes-for-delicious-weeknight-meals-2nd-edition-booksumo-press/
https://ebookmeta.com/product/dinner-dash-weeknight-cooking-made-
easy-with-amazing-dinner-recipes-2nd-edition-booksumo-press/
https://ebookmeta.com/product/brunch-recipes-a-breakfast-and-
lunch-cookbook-filled-with-delicious-ideas-2nd-edition-booksumo-
press/
Salads for Lunch: Discover New and Delicious Salad
Recipes for Lunch (2nd Edition) Booksumo Press
https://ebookmeta.com/product/salads-for-lunch-discover-new-and-
delicious-salad-recipes-for-lunch-2nd-edition-booksumo-press/
https://ebookmeta.com/product/lunch-ideas-a-lunch-cookbook-with-
delicious-lunch-recipes-2nd-edition-booksumo-press/
https://ebookmeta.com/product/lunch-box-a-lunch-cookbook-with-
delicious-lunch-recipes-2nd-edition-booksumo-press/
https://ebookmeta.com/product/sandwiches-for-lunch-a-lunch-
cookbook-with-delicious-sandwich-recipes-2nd-edition-booksumo-
press/
https://ebookmeta.com/product/breakfast-cookbook-a-breakfast-
cookbook-filled-with-delicious-breakfast-recipes-2nd-edition-
booksumo-press/
Weeknight
Recipes
Delicious Weeknight Recipes for
Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
By
BookSumo Press
All rights reserved
Published by
http://www.booksumo.com
Table of Contents
Zucchini Cheddar Pancakes 7
October’s Pancakes 10
October’s Pancakes 12
Swedish Breakfast 15
I ♥ Pancakes 16
Chestnut Crepes 24
Filipino Breakfast 70
Teriyaki Fried Rice II 71
Sicilian Pie 83
Ingredients
2 C. grated zucchini 2 eggs, beaten
1 C. shredded Cheddar cheese 2 tsp vegetable oil
1 C. biscuit baking mix (such as
Bisquick(R))
1/2 C. grated onion
Directions
1. In a bowl, mix together the zucchini, Cheddar cheese and onion.
2. Add the eggs and biscuit mix and mix till well combined.
3. In a griddle, heat the vegetable oil on medium heat.
4. Add about 1/4 C. of the mixture into the griddle and cook for about 3-4 minutes per side.
5. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
Ingredients
4 1/4 C. milk 4 C. all-purpose flour
5 eggs 3 tbsp vegetable oil
1/3 tsp salt 1 C. boiling water
2 tbsp white sugar 2/3 C. butter, divided
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/8 tsp citric acid powder
Directions
1. In a bowl, add the milk and eggs and beat well.
2. Add the salt and the sugar and mix till well combined.
3. Add the flour, baking soda and citric acid and mix to combine.
4. Slowly, add the vegetable oil and boiling water, stirring continuously till a very thin
mixture forms.
5. Keep the mixture aside for about 20 minutes.
6. In a small frying pan, melt 1 tbsp of the butter on medium-high heat.
7. Remove the pan from the heat and immediately, add the mixture by a ladleful and tilt the
pan to spread the mixture in a thin circle.
8. Return the pan to the heat and cook for about 90 seconds.
9. Carefully, flip and cook for about 1 minute.
10. Transfer the blini into a kitchen towel lined plate.
11. Repeat with the remaining butter and the mixture.
12. Stack them on top of each other and cover with the kitchen towel to keep warm.
13. Place your favorite filling in the center of the blini and fold three times to make a triangle
shape.
14. You can also fold up all 4 sides, like a small burrito.
Ingredients
2 tsp canola oil, divided 1/2 C. all-purpose flour
2 C. diced apples 1/2 C. oat flour
2 tbsp white sugar, divided 1 tbsp baking powder
2 tsp ground cinnamon 1/2 tsp salt
3/4 C. milk 2 tbsp chopped cooked turkey bacon
2 tbsp melted butter
1 egg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Directions
1. In a skillet, heat 1 tsp of the canola oil on medium heat and cook the apples, 1 tbsp of the
gar and cinnamon for about 5-10 minutes.
2. Remove the skillet from the heat.
3. Win a bowl, add the milk, butter, egg, and vanilla extract and beat till well combined.
4. In another bowl, sift together the all-purpose flour, oat flour, 1 tbsp of the sugar, baking
powder and salt.
5. Add the flour mixture into the milk mixture and mix till well combined.
6. Fold in the apples and bacon.
7. In a skillet, heat remaining 1 tsp of the canola oil on medium heat.
8. Add about 1/2 C. of the mixture into the skillet and cook for about 3-5 minutes per side.
9. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
Ingredients
Pancakes: 2 eggs
1 C. Original Bisquick(R) mix Glaze and Garnish:
1 C. Betty Crocker(R) SuperMoist(R) 2 1/2 C. powdered sugar
yellow cake mix 3 tbsp milk plus
3 tbsp candy sprinkles 2 tsp milk
1 C. milk 1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp vanilla Additional candy sprinkles
Directions
1. Heat a greased griddle on medium-high heat.
2. In a bowl, add the pancake
3. Ingredients and mix till well combined.
4. Add 1/4 C. of the mixture into the griddle and cook till the edges become dry.
5. Flip and cook till golden brown.
6. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
7. Stack on serving plates.
8. In small bowl, add the powdered sugar, milk and 1/2 tsp of the vanilla and beat till
smooth.
9. Serve with a topping of the glaze and additional candy sprinkles.
10 October’s Pancakes
Rustic Country Prep Time: 15 mins
Ingredients
2 tbsp chicken stock 1/2 C. vegetable oil
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1 C. baking mix (such as Bisquick(R))
4 pattypan squash, grated
1/4 C. diced onion
1/4 C. grated Parmesan cheese
1 tsp minced garlic
Directions
1. In a bowl, add the chicken stock and eggs and beat to combine.
2. Add the baking mix and beat till just moistened.
3. Add the squash, onion, Parmesan cheese and garlic and stir till well combined.
4. Keep aside for about 5 minutes.
5. In a large skillet, heat the oil to 350 degrees F.
6. Add about 1/4 C. of the mixture into the hot oil and cook for about 2-3 minutes per side.
7. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
8. Transfer pancakes to a brown paper bag-lined surface to drain.
Ingredients Directions
1 1/2 C. old-fashioned rolled oats 1. In a food processor, add the oats and pulse till
1 1/2 C. whole wheat flour finely ground.
2 tsp baking soda 2. In a bowl, mix together the grounded oats, flour,
1 tsp baking powder baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and
1/2 tsp salt allspice.
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon 3. In another bowl, add the buttermilk, milk, sugar,
1/4 tsp ground allspice 1/4 C. of the vegetable oil and egg and beat till
1 1/2 C. buttermilk smooth.
1 C. milk
4. Add the egg mixture into the oat mixture and
1/3 C. white sugar
mix till well combined.
1/4 C. vegetable oil
1 egg 5. Fold in the raisins and walnuts.
1/2 C. raisins 6. Grease a griddle with remaining 1 tsp of the oil
3 tbsp chopped walnuts and heat on medium heat.
1 tsp vegetable oil 7. Add the mixture by large spoonfuls into the
griddle and cook for about 3-4 minutes.
8. Flip and cook for about 2-4 minutes.
9. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
12 October’s Pancakes
Loveable Prep Time: 10 mins
Ingredients
Crisco(R) Original No-Stick Cooking Spray 2 C. berries, sliced strawberries, blueberries and
1 large egg, slightly beaten raspberries
2/3 C. milk Powdered sugar (optional)
2 tbsp Crisco(R) Pure Canola Oil
1 (7 oz.) package Martha White(R) Banana
Nut Flavored Muffin Mix
1 C. low-fat vanilla yogurt
Directions
1. Grease a griddle with the cooking spray and heat it.
2. In a bowl, add the egg, milk, oil and muffin mix in medium bowl and mix till large lumps
disappear.
3. Add about 1/4 C. of the mixture into the hot griddle and cook for about 1-2 minutes per
side.
4. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
5. Place the yogurt and berries over half of each pancake and fold over.
6. Serve with a sprinkling of the powdered sugar
Ingredients Directions
2 tbsp olive oil 1. In a large skillet, heat the oil on medium-high
2 C. shredded zucchini heat.
2 C. finely crushed buttery round 2. In a bowl, add the zucchini, crackers, onion, eggs,
crackers (such as Ritz(R)) Cheddar cheese, salt and pepper and mix till well
1 1/2 C. finely chopped yellow onion combined.
3 eggs, beaten 3. Shae the zucchini mixture into small equal sized
1/2 C. shredded sharp Cheddar cheese patties.
salt and ground black pepper to taste
4. Cook the patties in the hot oil for about 2-3
minutes per side.
Ingredients
4 slices turkey bacon, cut into 1x1/2-inch 2 C. milk
squares 1 C. all-purpose flour
3 eggs
2 tbsp white sugar
1 tsp salt
Directions
1. Set the broiler of your oven and arrange oven rack about 6-inches from the heating
element.
2. In a 13x9-inch baking dish, spread the bacon squares and cook under the broiler for
about 7-10 minutes.
3. Now, set your oven to 425 degrees F.
4. In a bowl, add the eggs, sugar and salt and beat well.
5. Add the milk and flour alternately, mixing till a thin mixture forms.
6. Transfer the mixture into the hot baking dish with the bacon.
7. Cook in the oven for about 20-30 minutes.
Swedish Breakfast 15
I♥
Pancakes
Prep Time: 10 mins
Total Time: 20 mins
Ingredients
1 C. rice flour
salt to taste
1 egg, beaten
1 tbsp vegetable oil
1 tbsp water
cooking spray
Directions
1. In a bowl, mix together the rice flour and salt.
2. Make a well in the center of the flour mixture.
3. Add the egg, vegetable oil and enough water in the well and mix till a smooth mixture
forms.
4. Grease a non-stick frying pan with cooking spray and heat on medium heat.
5. Add about 1/4 C. of the mixture and tilt pan to cover the bottom with a thin pancake.
6. Cook for about 1 minute per side.
7. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
16 I ♥ Pancakes
Tropical Prep Time: 5 mins
Ingredients
2 eggs 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 C. coconut flour 1 tsp coconut oil
2 tbsp coconut oil, melted
1 1/8 tbsp stevia sweetener
Directions
1. In a bowl, add the eggs, coconut flour, 2 tbsp of the melted oil, stevia sweetener and
vanilla extract and beat till smooth.
2. In a large skillet, melt 1 tsp of the coconut oil on medium heat.
3. Add enough mixture into the skillet and cook for about 2-3 minutes per side.
Ingredients
1/2 C. all-purpose flour cooking spray
2 large eggs 8 tbsp. nutella
1 pinch salt powdered sugar
1 C. milk
1 tsp. orange extract
Directions
1. In a bowl, add the flour, salt, eggs, milk and orange extract and beat until well combined.
2. Lightly grease a crepe pan with the cooking spray and place over medium-high heat until
heated through.
3. Place about 1/4 C. of the mixture and tilt the pan to spread in a thin layer.
4. Cook for about 5 minutes, flipping once after 3 minutes.
5. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
6. Place about 1 tbsp. of nutella onto each crepe evenly.
7. Carefully, roll each crepe and enjoy with a dusting of the powder sugar.
Chicken)
Calories 515.5
Fat 42.4g
Cholesterol 119.5mg
Sodium 784.6mg
Carbohydrates 15.1g
Protein 21.1g
Ingredients
1/4 C. butter 1 1/2 lb. broccoli, cooked & drained
1/4 C. all-purpose flour 2 C. chicken, cooked & chopped
2 C. chicken broth 12 crepes
2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
3 C. cheddar cheese, grated
2 C. sour cream
Directions
1. Set your oven to 350 degrees F before doing anything else.
2. in a pot, add the butter over medium heat and cook until melted.
3. Stir in the flour and cook until thick and bubbly, mixing continuously. Stir in the
Worcestershire sauce and chicken broth and cook until thick, mixing continuously.
4. Remove from the heat and stir in 2 C. of the cheddar cheese until melted completely. In a
bowl, place the sour cream.
5. Slowly, add the hot cheese sauce, mixing continuously until well combined. Put the
chicken and broccoli onto each crepe evenly and top each with 1 tbsp. of the cheese
sauce.
6. Carefully, fold each crepe over the filling.
7. In the bottom of a baking dish, arrange the crepes and top with the remaining cheese
sauce evenly, followed by the remaining cheddar cheese. Cover the baking dish and cook
in the oven for about 20-30 minutes. Enjoy hot.
Ingredients
2/3 C. whole wheat flour 3 scallions, thinly sliced
1 egg 1 C. ricotta cheese
2/3 C. plain yogurt 4 tbsp. plain yogurt
3 tbsp. water 3/4 C. grated Gruyere cheese
1 tbsp. olive oil 1 egg, lightly beaten
1 package frozen spinach, thawed and 1 C. unsalted cashews
pureed 2 tbsp. chopped parsley
1 pinch of ground allspice 1 pinch cayenne pepper
salt and pepper
fresh cilantro ( to garnish)
Filling
1 tbsp. olive oil
Directions
1. Set your oven to 350 degrees F before doing anything else and grease a shallow baking
dish.
2. For the crepe: in a bowl, add the oil, yogurt, egg and water and beat until well combined.
3. In another bowl, add the flour and salt and mix well.
4. Now, sift the flour mixture into a second bowl.
5. Slowly, add the egg mixture, whisking continuously until well combined.
6. Add the spinach, allspice and pepper and stir to combine.
7. For the filling: in a skillet, add the oil and cook until heated through.
8. Add the scallions and stir fry for about 2-3 minutes.
9. With a slotted spoon, transfer the scallion onto a paper towel lined plate to drain.
10. In a bowl, add the yogurt, ricotta and half of the Gruyere and beat until well combined.
11. Add the egg, parsley, salt and cayenne and beat until well combined.
20 Crepes with Nuts and Spinach
12. Place a lightly greased frying pan over medium-high heat until heated through.
13. Place about 3-4 tbsp. of the mixture and tilt the pan to spread in a thin layer.
14. Cook for about 5 minutes, flipping once after 3 minutes.
15. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
16. Place some of the filling onto the center of each crepe evenly.
17. Carefully, fold each crepe in envelope style.
18. In the bottom f the prepared baking dish, arrange the crepes and top with the remaining
filling, followed by the remaining cheese.
19. Cook in the oven for about 15 minutes.
20. Enjoy hot with a garnishing of the cilantro sprigs and lemon wedges.
21
MORNING FROST
Crepes
Prep Time: 5 mins
Total Time: 20 mins
Ingredients
1 C. all-purpose flour 1 pinch salt
1 C. water, plus 1/3 C. chopped of fresh mint
2 tbsp. water
4 large eggs
2 tbsp. melted butter
Directions
1. In a blender, add all the ingredients except the mint and pulse until well combined.
2. Transfer the mixture into a bowl and place in the fridge for about 1 hour.
3. Remove from the fridge and stir in the mint.
4. Place a lightly greased crepe pan over medium heat until heated through.
5. Place desired amount of the mixture and tilt the pan to spread in a thin layer.
6. Cook for about 2 minutes, flipping once after 1 1/2 minutes.
7. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
8. Enjoy warm.
Ingredients
8 crepes 1/2 C. sliced mushroom
1/4 tsp. black pepper 1 C. hollandaise sauce, optional
1 lb. freshly shucked lobster meat 1 tsp. chopped garlic
1 tsp. fresh squeezed lemon juice 1/4 C. chopped parsley
1/4 C. clarified butter 1/4 C. chopped walnuts
1 C. cooked well drained spinach
1/4 C. minced onion
1/4 C. white sauce
Directions
1. Set your oven to 350 degrees F before doing anything else.
2. In a skillet, add the oil over medium heat and cook until heated through.
3. Add mushroom, onions and garlic and stir fry for about 5-6 minutes.
4. Stir in the white sauce, spinach, walnuts, lemon juice and black pepper and remove from
the heat.
5. Place about 2 oz. of the lobster onto each crepe, followed by the spinach mixture.
6. Carefully,, roll each crepe.
7. In the bottom of a baking dish, arrange the crepes, folded side down.
8. Cook in the oven for about 10 minutes.
9. Divide the crepes onto serving plates and top each with the Hollandaise sauce, followed
by the parsley.
10. Enjoy with a sprinkling of the paprika.
Ingredients
1 1/2 C. chestnut flour, sifted 3 large eggs
1/8 tsp. salt 6 tbsp. unsalted butter, melted
1 tbsp. sugar
1 1/4 C. whole milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract
Directions
1. In a bowl, add the flour, sugar and salt and mix well.
2. In another bowl, add the milk, eggs and vanilla and beat until well combined.
3. Add the flour mixture and beat until well combined.
4. Add 2 tbsp. of the butter and mix until well combined.
5. Grease a crepe pan with a little butter and place over medium heat until heated through.
6. Place about 1/4 C. of the mixture and tilt the pan to spread in a thin layer.
7. Cook until golden brown from both sides.
8. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
9. Enjoy warm.
24 Chestnut Crepes
3-Cheese Prep Time: 1 hr
Ingredients
Crepes 1/2 C. grated Parmesan cheese
1 C. water 1 tsp fresh garlic
1 C. flour 1 egg
2 eggs 2 tbsp fresh finely chopped parsley
1/8 tsp salt salt and black pepper
vegetable oil 2 C. favorite pasta sauce
Filling 2 C. grated mozzarella cheese
1 lb. ricotta cheese
1 C. grated mozzarella cheese, packed
Directions
1. Set your oven to 350 degrees F before doing anything else and grease a 9x9-inch baking
dish. For the crepes: in a bowl, add the eggs, flour, salt and 1 C. of the water and beat until
well combined.
2. Grease a frying pan with a little oil and place over medium heat until heated through.
Place about 2-3 tbsp. of the mixture and tilt the pan to spread in a thin layer.
3. Cook for about 4 minutes, flipping once after 1 minute. Repeat with the remaining
mixture.
4. For the filling: in a bowl, add the egg, Parmesan, 1 C. of the mozzarella, parsley, garlic, salt
and pepper and beat until well combined. Place 3 tbsp. of the filling onto the center of
each crepe.
5. Carefully, fold the crepe over the filling.
6. In the bottom of the prepared baking dish, place about 1 C. of the pasta sauce evenly.
7. Place the rolled crepes over the pasta sauce, seam side down and top with the remaining
pasta sauce, followed by the mozzarella cheese. Cook in the oven for about 25-30
minutes. Enjoy hot.
Ingredients
Crepe Filling
1 1/4 C. all-purpose flour 4 medium oranges
1 pinch salt 2 C. blueberries
2 egg whites
7/8 C. skim milk
2/3 C. orange juice
oil, for frying
yogurt or light crème fraiche, to serve
Directions
1. Set your oven to 400 degrees F before doing anything else.
2. For the crepes: in a bowl, sift together the salt and flour.
3. With your hands, make a well in the center of the flour mixture.
4. In the well, add the milk, egg whites and orange juice and with a whisk, beat until a
smooth and bubbly mixture is formed.
5. Place a lightly greased crepe pan over medium heat until heated through.
6. Place desired amount of the mixture and tilt the pan to spread in a thin layer.
7. Cook until golden brown from both sides.
8. Repeat with the remaining mixture.
9. In the bottom of a baking sheet, arrange 6 small oven proof bowls, upside down.
10. Arrange 1 crepe over each bowl to form the baskets.
11. Cook in the oven for about 10 minutes.
12. Remove from the oven and carefully, lift the baskets from the bowls.
13. Meanwhile, pare a thin orange rind slice from one orange and cut into strips finely.
14. In a pan of the boiling water, add the orange strips and cook for about 30 seconds.
26 Picnic Crepes
15. Drain the orange strips in a colander well and rinse under cold running water.
16. Keep aside to drain.
17. Remove the peel and white pith from all the oranges.
18. Divide each orange into segments, reserving the dripping juice into a bowl.
19. In a microwave-safe bowl, add the blueberries and orange segments alongside the juice
and microwave until just warmed.
20. Divide the fruit mixture into each crepe basket evenly.
21. Enjoy with a topping of the rind strips.
27
JAMAICAN
Jam Sandwiches
Prep Time: 5 mins
Total Time: 10 mins
Ingredients
1 large egg 2 tbsps raspberry jam
2 teaspoons caster sugar butter
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 slices white bread
Directions
1. Get a shallow mixing bowl: Whisk in it the vanilla with sugar and egg.
2. Coat the sides of the bread slices with strawberry jam.
3. Place them in the milk mixture and let them soak for 30 sec.
4. Place a skillet over medium heat. Heat in it a stick of butter.
5. Drain the bread slices and place them in the hot pan. Cook them for 2 min on each side.
6. Serve your jam sandwiches warm with some milk.
7. Enjoy.
Ingredients
1 tbsp minced red onion 4 slices sourdough bread
3 tbsps nonfat sour cream 6 slices fat-free honey roasted turkey breast
1 tbsp Dijon mustard 4 slices tomatoes
1 teaspoon chopped thyme 2 slices muenster cheese
4 teaspoons butter, softened
Directions
1. Get a mixing bowl: Mix in it the onion with sour cream, thyme, and mustard.
2. Coat one side of each bread slice with 1 tsp of butter.
3. Coat the empty side of 2 slices of bread with the cream mixture.
4. Top them with turkey slices, tomato slices, and cheese.
5. Cover them with the other 2 bread slice with the buttered side facing up.
6. Place a large pan over medium heat. Place it in the sandwiches and put on the lid.
7. Let them cook for 3 to 4 min on each side until they become golden brown.
8. Serve your sandwiches warm.
9. Enjoy.
Ingredients
1 teaspoon lemon peel, grated 2 oz. cooked of turkey breast, sliced
1 tbsp low-fat mayonnaise 1 small tomatoes, sliced
2 slices whole grain bread
1 C. baby spinach leaves
Directions
1. Get a mixing bowl: Combine in it the mayonnaise with lemon peel.
2. Coat one side of the two bread slices with the mayo mixture.
3. Place a slice of bread on a serving plate with the mayo side facing up.
4. Top with half of the spinach leaves followed by turkey slices, tomato slices, and remaining
spinach.
5. Cover them with the second bread slice with mayo side facing down.
6. Serve your sandwiches right away.
7. Enjoy.
Ingredients
Cookie Filling
1 1/2 C. packed brown sugar 3 C. powdered sugar
3/4 C. butter 1/3 C. butter
2 tbsps water 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 C. semi-sweet chocolate chips 2 -4 tbsps milk
2 eggs
3 C. all-purpose flour
1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
Directions
1. To prepare the cookies:
2. Before you do anything, preheat the oven to 350 F.
3. Line up a baking pan with a parchment paper.
4. Place a large saucepan over medium heat. Stir in it the brown sugar, 3/4 C. butter, and
water.
5. Let them cook while stirring for 4 min.
6. Stir in the chocolate chips until they melt. Turn off the heat.
7. Add the eggs gradually while whisking them at the same time.
8. Add the flour with baking soda and salt. Combine them well until you get a soft dough.
9. Use a spoon to drop mounds of dough into the lined up pan.
10. Place it in the oven and let them cook for 7 min until they become golden brown.
11. To prepare the filling:
12. Get a large mixing bowl: Cream in it the vanilla with sugar and butter until they become
light.
13. Add the milk gradually while whisking until the filling becomes creamy.
Cayuga Cookie Sandwiches 31
14. Allow the cookies to cool down completely. Spoon 2 tsp of the filling into the flat side of a
cookie.
15. Press into it the flat side of another cookie to stick them together and make a sandwich.
16. Repeat the process with the remaining cookies and filling.
17. Serve your cookie sandwiches with some tea or milk.
18. Enjoy.
32
Dijon Prep Time: 15 mins
Ingredients
2 tbsps olive oil 1/4 C. Dijon-style mustard
2 large bell peppers, strips 6 oz. shredded cheddar cheese
1 medium onion, sliced
6 oz. portabella mushrooms, sliced
16 oz. loaf focaccia bread, halved
Directions
1. Place a pan over medium heat, heat in it the oil.
2. Cook in it the onions with mushrooms for 5 min.
3. Place the bottom half of the bread loaf on a serving plate.
4. Coat the top of it with mustard followed by the stir-fried mushroom mixture and cheese.
5. Cover it with the upper half. Slice the sandwich into 8 pieces then serve it.
6. Enjoy.
Ingredients
2 slices deli rye bread, toasted 1/2 C. vegetarian baked beans
1 1/2 oz. extra-sharp cheddar cheese, 1 kosher dill pickle, sliced
sliced
Directions
1. Get a mixing bowl: Pour in it the beans and mash it slightly until it becomes chunky.
2. Place one slice of bread on a serving plate. Spoon on top of it the mashed beans.
3. Top it with the pickle slices and cheese. Cover it with the second bread slice.
4. Serve your bean sandwich as it or heat it in the microwave for 20 sec.
5. Enjoy.
Ingredients
1 croissant 4 slices thin zucchini
Dijon-style mustard 1 fresh mushrooms, sliced
1 leaf lettuce 1 teaspoon milk
1 slice Swiss cheese, halved diagonally 1/2 teaspoon snipped dill weed, crushed
2 slices thin tomatoes mixed sprouts
1/2 avocado, peeled and sliced
2 tbsps mayonnaise
Directions
1. Before you do anything, preheat the oven to 350 F.
2. Place the croissant in a piece of foil then wrap it around it.
3. Place it in the oven and heat it for 4 to 5 min.
4. Once the time is up, discard the foil and slice the croissant in half.
5. Place the bottom half on a serving plate.
6. Arrange over it the lettuce leaf followed by Swiss cheese, tomato slices, avocado, zucchini
or cucumber, and mushroom slices.
7. Get a small mixing bowl: Mix in it the milk with mayo, dill, and a pinch of salt.
8. Drizzle the dressing over the mushroom layer.
9. Cover them with the top half of the croissant. Serve your sandwiches right away.
10. Enjoy.
Ingredients
4 lbs. bottom round beef roast Italian seasoning
8 oz. balsamic vinaigrette
1 (1 1/4 oz.) envelopes onion soup mix
Directions
1. Place the beef roast in a slow cooker.
2. Drizzle over it the dressing, soup mix, a pinch of Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper.
3. Put on the lid and let them cook for 11 h on low.
4. Once the time is up, drain the roast allow it to cool down for few minutes.
5. Use two forks to shred the meat and stir it back into the pot with its juices.
6. Spoon the shredded mixture into the bread rolls. Serve them with your favorite toppings.
7. Enjoy.
Ingredients
2 (6 -8 oz.) filet steaks, halved lengthwise 6 slices tomatoes
salt and pepper 1 C. shredded lettuce
2 sourdough French rolls
3 tbsps mayonnaise
3 tbsps Dijon mustard
Directions
1. Before you do anything, preheat the grill and grease it with some oil.
2. Lay the 4 steaks over the grill. Cook them for 3 to 5 min on each side. Season them with
a pinch of salt and pepper.
3. Transfer them to a cutting board and cut them into strips.
4. Cut the bread rolls in half. Coat the open side of the bottom halves with mustard.
5. Arrange over them the steak slices followed by tomato slices, and shredded lettuce.
6. Coat the open side of the top bread halves with mayo. Lay them over the lettuce layer.
7. Slice your sandwiches in half then serve them.
8. Enjoy.
Ingredients
Brown Rice:
3 C. water 1 tbsp white sugar
2 C. brown rice 5 kaffir lime leaves
1 tbsp soy sauce 8 oz. fried tofu, cubed
1/2 tsp salt 2 C. broccoli florets
Panang Curry: 1/2 red bell pepper, chopped into 1-inch
1 tbsp vegetable oil pieces
2 1/2 tbsp red curry paste 1/4 C. diagonally sliced carrots
1 (14 oz.) can coconut milk
1 tbsp vegetarian fish sauce
Directions
1. In a rice cooker, mix together the water, brown rice, soy sauce and salt.
2. Cook, covered about 35 minutes according to manufacturer's directions.
3. In a wide skillet, heat the vegetable oil on medium heat and sauté the curry paste for
about 1-2 minutes.
4. Add the coconut milk, fish sauce, white sugar and lime leaves and stir to combine.
5. Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer, covered for about 5 minutes.
6. Stir in the tofu, broccoli, red bell pepper and carrots and simmer for about 1-2 minutes.
7. Serve this curry over the cooked brown rice.
Ingredients
2 tbsp vegetable oil, divided 1/2 C. water
2 C. chopped fresh spinach 2 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp ground red chilis
3/4 C. chopped onion 2 tbsp salt
2 green chili peppers, chopped 8 oz. paneer, cubed
2 tsp chopped garlic
2 tomatoes, chopped
Directions
1. In a skillet, heat 1 tbsp of the vegetable oil on medium heat and cook the spinach for
about 3-4 minutes.
2. Remove from the heat and keep aside to cool slightly.
3. Transfer the spinach into a food processor and pulse till a rough paste forms.
4. In a pan, heat the remaining 1 tbsp of the oil on medium heat and sauté the cumin for
about 30 seconds.
5. Add the onion, green chili peppers and garlic and sauté for about 3-4 minutes.
6. Stir in the tomatoes and simmer, covered for about 1 minute.
7. Add the spinach paste, water, ground coriander, red chili powder and salt and cook for
about 2-3 minutes.
8. Stir in the paneer and simmer for about 1-2 minutes more.
Ingredients
1/2 onion, diced
2 1/2 tbsp curry powder 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 (32 fluid oz.) container chicken broth salt to taste
1/2 lemon, sliced 8 kaffir lime leaves
1 1/4-inch-thick slices fresh ginger, peeled
1 1/2 tsp white sugar
salt to taste
1 lb. assorted mushrooms
1 (13.5 oz.) can coconut milk
Directions
1. Heat a greased pan on high heat and sauté the onion for about 2 minutes.
2. Stir in the curry powder.
3. Add the chicken broth, lemon, ginger, sugar and salt and stir to combine.
4. Reduce the heat to medium and cook for about 2-3 minutes.
5. Stir in the mushrooms and cook for about 3 minutes.
6. Stir in in the coconut milk and lemon juice and remove from the heat.
7. Stir in the lime leaves and keep aside for about 5 minutes.
8. Discard the lime leaves before serving.
Ingredients
3/4 tsp coriander seed 1/2 tsp cumin seed
1/4 tsp fennel seed 1/2 tsp coriander seed
1/4 tsp cumin seed 1/2 C. coconut milk
4 leaves fresh curry 1 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
4 large potatoes - peeled and cubed salt to taste
1 tbsp ghee (clarified butter)
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 (1 inch) piece fresh ginger root, grated
Directions
1. For the fresh curry powder, in a small skillet, dry roast the 3/4 tsp of the coriander, 1/4
tsp of the fennel, and 1/4 tsp of the cumin seeds individually till aromatic.
2. In the same skillet, mix together all the roasted spices and curry leaves on low heat and
dry roast for about 5 minutes more.
3. With a mortar and pestle, grind the spices and curry leaves.
4. Now, with the mortar and pestle, grind the remaining coriander and cumin seeds.
5. In a microwave safe bowl, place the potato cubes and microwave for about 3-5 minutes.
6. In a large skillet, melt the ghee on medium heat and sauté the onion, garlic and ginger till
golden and aromatic.
7. Add the cumin and coriander seeds powder and fresh curry powder and sauté for about
30 seconds.
8. Stir in the potatoes and cook for about 3 minutes.
9. Stir in the coconut milk and bring to a gentle boil.
10. Reduce the heat to low and simmer, covered for about 7 minutes.
11. Stir in the salt and remove from the heat.
42
Peanut Prep Time: 5 mins
Ingredients
1 1/2 C. white rice 1/8 tsp ground cinnamon
3 C. water 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
1 (14 oz.) can coconut milk 1 (28 oz.) can diced tomatoes, drained
5 tbsp peanut butter 1 tsp salt
2 (14.5 oz.) cans chickpeas (garbanzo
beans), rinsed and drained
2 tsp ground ginger
Directions
1. In a pan, add the rice and water and bring to a boil.
2. Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer, covered for about 20-25 minutes.
3. Meanwhile in another large pan, mix together the coconut milk and peanut butter on
medium-high heat and cook for about 5-7 minutes.
4. Stir in the chickpeas, ginger, cinnamon and cayenne pepper and cook for about 10
minutes, stirring occasionally.
5. Add the tomatoes and cook for about 10 minutes.
6. Stir in the salt and remove from the heat.
7. Serve the curry over the rice.
Ingredients
2 C. dry red kidney beans
1 large onion, chopped 1 tsp ground coriander
4 cloves garlic, chopped 2 tomatoes, chopped
1 (2 inch) piece fresh ginger root, chopped 2 C. water
2 tbsp vegetable oil 1 tsp white sugar
2 tsp ghee (clarified butter) salt to taste
2 dried red chili peppers, broken into pieces 2 tsp garam masala
1 tsp cumin seeds 1 tsp ground red pepper
6 whole cloves 1/4 C. cilantro leaves, chopped
1 tsp ground turmeric
1 tsp ground cumin
Directions
1. In a large bowl, of water, soak the kidney beans for about 8 hours or overnight.
2. Drain and rinse the kidney beans.
3. With a mortar and pestle, grind the onion, ginger and garlic till a paste forms.
4. In a pressure cooker, heat the oil and ghee on medium heat and sauté the red chili
peppers, cumin seeds and whole cloves till the cumin seeds begin to splutter.
5. Stir in the onion paste and cook till golden brown, stirring occasionally.
6. Stir in the ground turmeric, ground cumin and ground coriander and sauté for a few
seconds more.
7. Add the tomatoes and cook till the tomatoes become tender completely.
8. Add the drained kidney beans and enough water to cover.
9. Add extra 2 C. of the water, sugar and salt and stir to combine.
45
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
strider; quite a useful man over timber he might be; but he is a little lacking
in—what shall I say, Adagio con molto expressione ma non troppo, if you
know what I mean.
PETS
Walter, the white mouse, perished in May. The doctor said it was too
much exercise on an empty—well, he put it rather crudely. You know what
doctors are. And you know how white mice will exercise. The tailor said
Walter was too small to make up into a white waistcoat, even an evening
one, and that he would be hopeless as a tie. I advertised for a white mole,
but they seem to be rare. Altogether it was a sad year for pets.
THOUGHT
Perhaps the past year was, above all, a year for thought. To the pursuit
of thought we devoted many days in many positions. Some people would
find it impossible to think properly immediately after breakfast but we
proved that, given a sufficiently comfortable chair, the impossible could be
achieved, that one could be as thoughtfully busy in the morning as in the
afternoon.
XYLONITE
YCLEPT
We were yclept every morning punctually at eight (and arose punctually
at nine thirty) throughout the year.
ZEUGMA
* * * * * * *
So much for my record of the past year. Reading it over now I feel that I
have not spent the last twelve months in vain. At the end of them I can say
truthfully that I am, if not a year wiser, at least a year older, a year fatter.
And still a happy bachelor.
LETTERS TO CHARLES
"Afterwards" meant the holidays, which (to begin with) were a long
way off. As they came nearer we consoled ourselves with the thought that
the required "account" was a mere formality which would probably not be
insisted upon; the actual money had been spent—which after all was the
main thing, the idea of the whole proceeding, so to say. To wish to linger
over the details of its gradual dissolution would be morbid. However to our
horror a day did come in the holidays when we were peremptorily ordered
to provide our account and to hand over the balance.
There is, as you know, Charles, never any difficulty about providing an
account—the trouble is to hand over the balance. In our case the balance
was exactly nothing, we had not a penny in our pockets. The money had
been spent all right, an unusual number of masters having been married that
term (some of them for the third or fourth time in the year), but we could
not possibly make up our accounts so that to a farthing the two sides
balanced. It would look so unnatural. How could we march solemnly into
the library and say "By a perfectly amazing coincidence the money you
gave us was just precisely the amount which the circumstances demanded.
There is no balance."
It was a very hot afternoon, and we were unhappy. The matter of the
accounts was not the only shadow which hung over us. John had a fox
terrier—so had I; but whereas my dog was a Little Englander, and stayed at
home, John's was an Imperialist, who roamed the country. He had
disappeared again the night before, and had been observed in the morning
in a village three miles away. Thither toiled John in search of him that hot
afternoon, his heart torn between his love for his dog and his duty to his
parents. And Rags and I remained at home to see what we could make of
finance.
We made but little of it. The more I thought of it, the more impossible it
seemed to say that every penny (no more, no less) of the five pounds had
been spent properly. One idea I had which touched genius—namely, to
furnish an account for five pounds ten (say) and point out that the balance
was owing to us. Ours was always a great family for ideas. But you see the
weak spot, Charles—that we hadn't demanded the ten shillings long ago.
And then John returned. No, he had not found his dog, but he had found
a shilling in the road. He had spent (he simply had to spend, he said) a
penny ha'penny on refreshment, but the tenpence ha'penny he had brought
back joyfully. And in the evening a beautiful account (on the double-entry
system) and tenpence ha'penny balance were handed over with ceremony.
So much for finance, Charles. Now I've got some news for you. I've just
had a nephew! (Uncle doing well.) Did you know? Look here, we'll arrange
a sporting match between him and your son over hurdles for 1922. Your
boy will still be a year older, but, bless you, I don't mind that. My nephew is
so ugly at present that I feel he must be intended for the highest honours at
something. Probably hurdles. Of course if either of us perishes in the
meantime the nominations become void. ("The nominations become
void"—did you notice that? Quite the sportsman.)
What sort of weather are you having? I ask because the weather differs
according to the locality, and down at Castle Bumpbrook it may be quite
fine, while it is raining here, and vice versa. Why is this? Why shouldn't the
weather be the same everywhere? Something to do with the solstices, I
believe. What is a solstice? (I have asked you no end of questions in this
letter, and I don't suppose you will answer one of them.)
Do you know, I made up the names Wreford and Partington on the spur
of the moment. The names are simple enough, but I think the combination
is wonderful. There must have been such a case in 1883. Who do you think
Wreford was? I fancy he was a small chandler, and he fell down the coal
shoot of Partington's in Cannon Street. James Partington, the senior partner,
said (fairly enough) that a great firm like his, which had branches all over
England (including Norwich), must have coal some time, if they were to
cope successfully with increasing foreign competition, which, owing to the
present Gov—— Oh no, this was 1883; I forgot. Well, anyhow, he said they
must have coal. Wreford retorted that he didn't mind their putting coal down
their shoot, but when it came to including respectable citizens of London
——
You remember the excitement when the case came on? We were only
babies then, but I have a recollection that my nurse was a pro-Partington.
Wreford won, but as he was heavily fined for having knowingly caused a
crowd to collect it did him little good, poor man.
II
What I expect from you is pleasant gossip about the miller's daughter. Is
she engaged yet to the postman? Has the choir begun to practise the
Christmas anthem? When does Mrs Bates' husband come out? These are the
things you should tell me. Tell me, too, of your simple recreations. Has
whist reached Castle Bumpbrook yet? It is a jolly game for four. One
person deals and you turn up the last card, and then the—— But I must
send you a book about it.
Look here, I have two stories to tell you. One is quite true, the other
isn't. Which will you have first? All right, the truth.
"Then would you give me your card, so that I can send you the money
to-morrow?"
Charles, I—— You see, I had just had some cards printed. They had
"Mr" on for the first time. I was very—— Well, I gave him one.
That ends the first scene. An interval of nearly five years elapses, and
we come to last Saturday. I was walking through the Green Park, when a
small but elderly gentleman came up to me.
I said: "Which one do you want? There is the Guildhall School, and the
Royal College, and the Royal Academy, and——"
He thought for a moment, and then he said in German the German for
"Do you speak German?" (My dear Charles, I can't spell it). I said "Nein."
Charles, I had to interrupt him. I simply couldn't help it. I said; "Then
you owe me half-a-crown." He stopped, and looked at me with a sort of sad
dignity. Then he turned round with a sigh and plodded wearily across the
park. And, oh, I do hope he had better luck with somebody else, because he
has been at it for five years now, and it must be a heart-breaking life. His
hair had gone quite grey since I saw him last.
Charles, you do see that that is a true story, don't you? If I had been
making it up, I should have said that he gave me back my own card as a
reference. I wonder why he didn't. I suppose it had got rather dirty after five
years.
Do you want the other one now? It is the merest anecdote, and Hilda
told it me, and I know it's not true.
She has a cat called "Didums poor little kitty wee, then"; you put the
accent on the "then," and spread it out as long as you can. Well, Didums,
etc., goes about eating moths; a curious diet for a cat, but I believe it keeps
them thin. He swallowed them whole, you know, and Hilda told him how
cruel it was. She seems to have spoken of the sufferings of the imprisoned
ones in the most moving terms. Anyhow she found Didums next day up in
her bedroom remorsefully eating a sealskin coat.
Do you know anything about gas? I buy a lot every week for my geyser.
You get about 1000 for half-a-crown. A thousand what? I don't know; but I
like to take part in these great business transactions, and I am now writing
to ask if they could make it 1200 seeing that I am a regular customer. No
harm in asking.
III
What I want to hear from you, Charles, is, Do people always get
married for this sort of reason? Are you really the Duke of Norfolk, and did
Kitty discover your secret and threaten to disclose it? Oh, you coward! I
don't mind anybody knowing that I am the true Earl Billingham.
About the body. We shall know to-morrow. I think it's Captain Pontifax
myself, but I will send you a telegram.
You see the idea, Charles. If you add a bowler then the thing you have
to explain away is the coat. I don't quite see how that is to be managed; you
could only put it down to absent-mindedness. But if you add a topper then
you have only the brown boots to account for. This could be done in a
variety of ways—a foggy morning, a sudden attack of colour-blindness, or
that your mother asked you to wear the thickest ones, dear, and never mind
about the silly fashion. It is an interesting point which has never been dealt
with properly in the etiquette-books. You and I are agreed upon the topper,
it seems.
I went to a play last Tuesday. It was not bad, but the funniest scene
happened right at the beginning, when I watched an American buy a seat at
the box-office. They gave him J13., and he only discovered it after he had
paid for it, and had put his change carefully away. Do you know, Charles,
he nearly cried. The manager assured him there was nothing in it; people sat
there every night, and were heard of again. It was no good. He got his
money back, and went away looking quite miserable. Isn't it childish? I am
going to be married on Friday, 13th May, just to show. When is that?
Sickening if it's not for years and years. I have a patent calendar somewhere
which tells you the date for any year up to 1928. I never know why it
should stop there; something to do with the golden number getting too big.
It won't go backwards either, which is a pity, because I have always wanted
to know on what day of the week I was born. Nobody will tell me. It was
one of the lucky days I am sure. How can I find out?
(To-morrow.)—I have just sent you a telegram to say that it was Sir
Richard Tressider's body. Strange that you hadn't thought of him. Charles, I
felt very shy in the post office. Yes, about Castle Bumpbrook. She didn't
believe there was such a place; I offered to bet. We went through the
Telegraph Directory together. Do you know, you come in the Castles, not in
the Bumps at all. (Put me among the Bumps.) Something ought to be done
about it. I always thought Castle was your Christian name, kind of.
Yes, it was Sir Richard's corpse. It occurs to me now that you will get
this letter a day after the telegram. How did I put it?
An elevenpenny touch, Charles, and I never signed it, and you'll wonder
what on earth it's all about. Probably you will dismiss it as a joke, and that
would be elevenpence thrown away. That cannot be allowed. You can get a
telegram repeated at half-price, can't you? I think I shall go and have a
fivepenny-ha'penny repeat.
I say, what are you doing about the weather? Are you taking it lying
down? I want to sign a petition, or write to my M.P. (haven't got one, then I
shall write to yours), humbly showing that it's the rottenest do there's ever
been. Do you remember the story (it comes in Gesta Romanorum, or
should) of the man who built a model of another man and threw things at it,
and the other man sat in a bath with a mirror in his hand and whenever the
first man threw he ducked under the water. If he got under in time his
enemy missed, and it was all right. Otherwise he was killed. Well, I am
going to rig up a Negretti in my room, and throw boots at it, and if the
original has to spend all his time in a cold bath ducking, I think, Charles, we
shall get some warmer weather soon.
Charles, in your courting days was she ever as cold to you as this?
IV
Two thoughts sustain me. First, that no strange eye will recognise it as a
tobacco-pouch, no strange hand (therefore) dip into it. Secondly, that the
Fates, which have taken from me my dearest possession, must needs have
some great happiness in store for me.
Charles, I perceive you are crying; let us turn to more cheerful things.
Do you play croquet? I have just joined a croquet club (don't know why),
and one of the rules is that you have to supply your own mallet. How do
you do this? Of course, I know that ultimately I hand a certain sum of
money to a shopman, and he gives me a very awkward parcel in exchange;
but what comes before that? I have often bought a bat, and though I have
not yet selected one which could make runs, I can generally find something
which is pretty comfortable to carry back into the pavilion. But I have never
chosen a mallet. What sort of weight should it be, and is it a good thing to
say it "doesn't come up very well"? I have, they tell me, a tendency to
bowness in the legs and am about a million round the biceps; I suppose all
that is rather important? Perhaps they have their mallets classified for
different customers, and you have only to describe yourself to them. I shall
ask for a Serviceable mallet for a blond. "Serviceable" means that if you hit
the ground very hard by accident it doesn't break; some of these highly
strung mallets splinter up at once, you know. As a matter of fact, you can't
miss the ball at croquet, can you? I am thinking of golf. What about having
a splice with mine; is that done much? I don't want to go on to the ground
looking a perfect ass with no splice, when everybody else has two or three.
Croquet is a jolly game, because you don't have to worry about what sort of
collar you'll wear; you just play in your ordinary things. All the same, I
shall have some spikes put in my boots so as not to slip. I once took in to
dinner the sister of the All England Croquet Champion. I did really.
Unfortunately I didn't happen to strike her subject, and she didn't strike
mine—Butterflies. How bitterly we shall regret that evening—which was a
very jolly one all the same. Here am I, not knowing a bit how to select a
mallet, and there possibly is she, having just found the egg of the Purple
Emperor, labelling it in her collection as that of the Camberwell Beauty. Let
this be a lesson to all of us.
Charles, I feel very silly to-night; I must be what they call "fey," which
is why I ask you—How would you like to be a pedigree goat? I have just
seen in an evening paper a picture of Mr Brown "with his pedigree goat."
Somehow it had never occurred to me that a goat could have a pedigree; but
I see now that it might be so. I think if I had to be a goat at all I should like
to be a pedigree one. In a way, I suppose, every goat has a pedigree of some
kind; but you would need to have a pretty distinguished one to be spoken of
as a P.G. Your father, Charles, would need to have had some renown among
the bearded ones; your great-uncle must have been of the blood. And if this
were so, I should, in your place, insist upon being photographed as a
pedigree goat "with Mr Brown." Don't stand any nonsense about that.
If I ever have a goat, and you won't let me call it Charles, I shall call it
David. My eldest brother, you, know, was christened David, and called so
for a year; but at the end of that time we had a boot-and-knife-boy who was
unfortunately named David too. (I say "we," but I was still in the
Herebefore myself.) This led to great confusion. When the nurse called for
David to come and take his bottle, it was very vexing to find the other
David turning up with a brown shoe in one hand and a fish-knife in the
other. Something had to be done. The baby was just beginning to take
notice; the leather polisher had just refused to. In the circumstances the only
thing was to call the baby by his second name.
Two or three years passed rapidly, and I arrived. Just as this happened,
the boot-boy took the last knife and went. Now was our chance. My second
name had already been fixed; it was immediately decided that my first
should be David. The new boot-boy didn't mind a bit; everybody else
seemed delighted ... and then someone remembered that in ten years' time I
should be going to school.
Yes, Charles, the initials D.A.M.... You know what boys are; it would
have been very awkward.
And so now you see why I am going to call my pedigree goat David.
V
Why am I doing this, you ask. My dear Charles, you never know when a
little thing like a minuet will turn out useful. The time may well come when
you will say to yourself, "Ah, if only I had seized the opportunity of
learning that when I was young, how ... etc." There were once two men who
were cast ashore on a desert island. One of them had an axe, and a bag of
nails, and a goat, and a box of matches, and a barrel of gunpowder, and a
keg of biscuits, and a tarpaulin and some fish-hooks. The other could only
dance the minuet. Years rolled by; and one day a ship put in at that island
for water. As a matter of fact, there was no water there, but they found two
skeletons. Which shows that in certain circumstances proficiency in the
minuet is as valuable as an axe, and a bag of nails, and a goat and a box of
matches, and all the other things that I mentioned just now. So I am learning
in case.
My niece, aged twenty months (do I bore you?), has made her first joke:
let it be put on record and handed down to those that come after. She
walked into the study, where her father was reading and her mother writing.
They agreed not to take any notice of her, in order to see what would
happen. She marched up to her father, stroked his face, and said, "Hallo,
daddy!" No answer. She gazed round; and then went over to the writing-
desk. "Hallo, mummy!" Dead silence. She stood for a moment looking
rather puzzled. At last she went back to her father, bent down and patted his
slippers and said, "Hallo, boots!" Then she walked quite happily out of the
room.
Look here, I smoke too much, at least I have been lately. Let's give it up,
Charles. I'll give it up altogether for a week if you will. Did you know that
you can allay the craving for tobacco by the judicious use of bull's-eyes?
("Allay" is the word.) You carry a bag of bull's-eyes with you—I swear this
is true, I saw it in the press—and whenever you feel a desire to smoke you
just pop a bull's-eye in your mouth. In a little while, they say, your taste for
tobacco—and I imagine for everything else—is quite gone. This ought to be
more widely known, and then your host would say, "Try one of these bull's-
eyes, won't you? I import them direct," and you would reply, "Thanks very
much, but I would rather have one of my own, if I may." "Have a bull's-eye,
if you like," your partner would say at a dance. Of course, too, they would
have special bull's-eye compartments in trains; that would be jolly. But it
would ruin the stage. The hero who always lights a cigarette before giving
off his best epigram—I don't know what he'd do. You see he couldn't ...
well, he'd have to wait such a time.
Why are they called bull's-eyes? I don't believe I've ever seen a bull's-
eye really close. If you look a bull in the eye he doesn't go for you. Which
eye? He might be a left-handed bull; you'd look at the wrong eye; then
where would you be?
The world is too much with me, Charles, but all the same I've just
ordered a flannel suit which will make Castle Bumpbrook stare. Sort of
purplish; and it makes up very smart, and they can do me two pairs of
trousers in it, whatever that means. I should have thought they could have
done me as many pairs as I liked to ask for, but it seems not. They only
print a limited edition, and then destroy the original plates, so that nobody
else can walk about looking like me. I asked the man if he thought it would
play croquet well, and he said, yes. By the way, I have learnt some more
about croquet since I wrote last. First, then, you can go round in one, if
you're frightfully good. I should like to go round in one; I suppose that
would be the record? Secondly, if you're wired from all the balls, "so that
you can't get a clear shot at every part of any one of them," you go into
baulk, and have another turn. This must happen pretty often, because you
could never have a clear shot at the back of a ball, unless you went right
round the world the other way, and that would be too risky, besides wasting
so much time. No, I can see there's a lot to learn in the game, but patience,
Charles, patience. I shall go round in one yet.
VI
There were four men in the fifth class. Three of them we need not
bother about, but the latest arrival was a certain cleric who advertised a
good deal. One day we met somebody who knew him well. We broke the
sad news to him gently, and he was much distressed about it. He asked if
there was any hope. We replied that if his friend turned over a new leaf, and
kept his name out of the papers for a bit, he might in time be promoted into
the fourth division—where, every day, you watched Sussex play Essex at
Leyton and had mutton sandwiches for lunch. He was so glad to hear this
that he made us promise to let him know when any such step was
meditated. Accordingly, after a month of perfect quiet on the part of the
reverend gentleman we sent his friend a telegram: "Bernard left Shepherd's
Bush by the nine o'clock steamer this morning."
And now it looks as if the Bush were much more of a place than we
thought.
Yes, I should love to come down and play cricket for Castle
Bumpbrook, and many thanks for asking me. I don't make runs nowadays,
Charles, but if you feel that the mere presence of a gentleman from Lunnon
would inspire and, as it were, give tone to the side, then I am at your
service. You do say "Lunnon" in the country, don't you, when you mean
London? And you say "bain't" too. How jolly! "I bain't a bowler, zur"—and
you pronounce the "b-o-w" as if it were a curtsey and not a cravat. "Put Oi
——" It's no good. I can't keep it up. Put me in last and I'll make 3 not out,
and that will bring me top of the averages. (If you divide 3 by 0 you get an
awful lot, you know.) You have an average bat, I suppose? I like them rather
light—or I would take the money, whichever would be more convenient.
It is a great art, that of writing nicely to yourself; to say enough, yet not
too much. When John was getting engaged, he wrote to himself every day.
Before he started doing this he used to spend hours sitting and wondering
whether the postman had been. The few letters he had had from her came
by the eight-thirty post. At eight-fifteen he began to look out; nothing
happened. An awful quarter of an hour followed. Eight-thirty—no
postman's knock; never mind, perhaps he's late. Eight-thirty-five—well, it is
rather a busy time; besides he may have fallen down. Eight-forty—one ray
of light left; he did come once, you remember, at eight-forty-two. Eight-
forty-five—despair. A half-an-hour's agony, you observe, Charles. Then he
thought of writing to himself in time for that delivery. The result was that he
remained quite calm, knowing that the postman was bound to come. "Ah,
there he is. Will there be a letter from her? Yes—no." You see? Your heart
in your mouth for five seconds only.
I never saw any of these letters. But I should say that at the beginning
they were sympathetic—"Buck up, it's all right"—or hopeful—"Never
mind, she'll write to-morrow"; later on they would become cynical—"Done
in the eye again. What on earth do you expect?"; and, finally, I expect,
insulting—"You silly ass; chuck it." ... Then, of course, she wrote.
VII