Full Download PDF of (Ebook PDF) Interpersonal Conflict, 9th Edition by William Wilmot All Chapter

Download as pdf or txt
Download as pdf or txt
You are on page 1of 43

(eBook PDF) Interpersonal Conflict, 9th

edition by William Wilmot


Go to download the full and correct content document:
https://ebooksecure.com/product/ebook-pdf-interpersonal-conflict-9th-edition-by-willia
m-wilmot/
More products digital (pdf, epub, mobi) instant
download maybe you interests ...

(eBook PDF) Interpersonal Conflict 10th Edition by


William Wilmot

http://ebooksecure.com/product/ebook-pdf-interpersonal-
conflict-10th-edition-by-william-wilmot/

Interpersonal Conflict 9th Edition (eBook PDF)

http://ebooksecure.com/product/interpersonal-conflict-9th-
edition-ebook-pdf/

Interpersonal Conflict 10th Edition Joyce L. Hocker -


eBook PDF

https://ebooksecure.com/download/interpersonal-conflict-ebook-
pdf/

(Original PDF) Human Geography 9th by William Norton

http://ebooksecure.com/product/original-pdf-human-geography-9th-
by-william-norton/
(eBook PDF) Engineering Electromagnetics 9th Edition by
William Hayt

http://ebooksecure.com/product/ebook-pdf-engineering-
electromagnetics-9th-edition-by-william-hayt/

(eBook PDF) Interpersonal Communication Everyday


Encounters 9th Edition

http://ebooksecure.com/product/ebook-pdf-interpersonal-
communication-everyday-encounters-9th-edition/

Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters 9th


Edition (eBook PDF)

http://ebooksecure.com/product/interpersonal-communication-
everyday-encounters-9th-edition-ebook-pdf/

(eBook PDF) Understanding Canadian Business 9th Edition


by William Nickels

http://ebooksecure.com/product/ebook-pdf-understanding-canadian-
business-9th-edition-by-william-nickels/

Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters 9th


Edition J.T. Wood - eBook PDF

https://ebooksecure.com/download/interpersonal-communication-
everyday-encounters-ebook-pdf/
hockEr | WiLmot
Interpersonal Conflict examines the central principles of effective conflict NiNth EditioN
management in a wide variety of contexts—from personal relationships to workplace
relationships. Providing a balanced approach to theory and practice, the authors present
conflict management using the latest research and their own real-life experience.

Features of the Ninth Edition

and problems related to violations on Facebook and soldiers returning from war.

Interpersonal Conflict
Interpersonal Conflict
of negotiation.

What instructors are saying about Interpersonal Conflict


“Bill Wilmot and Joyce Hocker are well-known, knowledgeable scholars in the field and are
extremely qualified to be writing on the subject. Te authors’ real-life experiences with conflict
management, consulting and the like allow them to include great, illustrative examples.”
Melissa Maier, University of Wisconsin--Milwaukee
“I consider it my ‘conflict bible.’ Te concepts can be easily applied, the cited research is
credible and interesting and it balances a scientific emphasis with a humanitarian emphasis
which I feel most texts lack.”
Trista Vucetich Anderson, University of Minnesota--Duluth

MD DALIM #1219659 12/17/12 CYAN MAG YELO BLK


For student and instructor resources, please visit the dedicated online learning center at
www.mhhe.com/hocker9e

NiNth EditioN
JoycE L. hockEr
WiLLiam W. WiLmot
Brief Contents
Preface xv
Acknowledgments xvii

v Part ONE Conflict Components 1

n Chapter 1 The Nature of Conflict 2

n Chapter 2 Perspectives on Conflict 37

n Chapter 3 Interests and Goals 73

n Chapter 4 Power: The Structure of Conflict 105

n Chapter 5 Conflict Styles 145

v Part TWO Special Applications 189

n Chapter 6 Emotions in Conflict 190

n Chapter 7 Analyzing Your Conflicts 221

n Chapter 8 Interpersonal Negotiation 247

n Chapter 9 Third-Party Intervention 278

n Chapter 10 The Practice of Forgiveness and


Reconciliation 303

References 344
Name Index 364
Subject Index 370

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd vii 1/3/13 12:27 PM


hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd viii 1/3/13 12:27 PM
Contents
Preface xv
Acknowledgments xvii

v Part ONE Conflict Components 1

n Chapter 1 The Nature of Conflict 2


Interpersonal Conflict Depends on Interpersonal
Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
Family Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Love Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
The Workplace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
The Importance of Skill Development . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Preventing Destructive Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Conflict Defined . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
An Expressed Struggle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Interdependence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Perceived Incompatible Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Perceived Scarce Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Interference . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Understanding Destructive Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
The Four Horsemen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Stressful Drama Examples . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Escalatory Spirals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Avoidance Spirals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Your Opportunities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
Key Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Review Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

n Chapter 2 Perspectives on Conflict 37


Your Personal History . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
More Reflections on Your Specific History . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Your Worldview Affects How You Think and Feel
about Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Negative Views of Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Positive Views of Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Insights from Metaphors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Metaphors Reflecting Danger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .48
Listen and Learn from Metaphors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd ix 1/3/13 12:27 PM


x Contents

The Lens Model of Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59


The Dangers of Single Focus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Identify The Filters on Your Lens . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Gender Filters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
Cultural Filters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
Key Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
Review Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

n Chapter 3 Interests and Goals 73


Types of Goals: TRIP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74
Topic Goals: What Do We Want? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Relational Goals: Who Are We to Each Other? . . . . . . . . 77
Identity, or Face-Saving, Goals: Who Am I in This
Interaction? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
Process Goals: What Communication Process Will Be Used? . . 85
The Overlapping Nature of TRIP Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86
Goals Change in Interaction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
Prospective Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
Transactive Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
Retrospective Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
Goal Clarity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98
Clarify Your Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98
Estimate the Other's Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100
Collaborative Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
Key Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
Review Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104

n Chapter 4 Power: The Structure of Conflict 105


What Is Power? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
Orientations to Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106
Designated Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
Either/Or Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108
Both/And Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
Power Denial . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
A Relational Theory of Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
Defining Interpersonal Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
Individual Power Currencies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
Resource Control . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120
Interpersonal Linkages . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120
Communication Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
Expertise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd x 1/3/13 12:27 PM


Contents xi

Assessing Your Relational Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122


Power Imbalances . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126
High Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127
Low Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128
Constructive Power Balancing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
Techniques for Balancing Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
Dialogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
Restraint . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
Focus on Interdependence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136
The Power of Calm Persistence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137
Stay Actively Engaged . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139
Empowerment of Low-Power People by High-Power People . 140
Metacommunication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140
What to Say When You Are Low Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143
Key Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143
Review Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144

n Chapter 5 Conflict Styles 145


The Nature of Styles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145
Assessing Your Styles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 146
Will You Avoid or Engage? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148
Avoidance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
Avoidance and Culture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153
The Avoid/Criticize Loop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153
Avoiding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154
Dominating . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156
Destructive Domination . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158
Threats . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159
Compromise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161
Obliging . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163
Integrating . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165
Cautions about Styles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 170
Beyond Styles: Harmful Conflict Actions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173
Verbal Aggressiveness and Verbal Abuse . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173
Bullying . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
Violence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176
Patterns of Violence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178
Explanations for Violence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179
Interaction Dynamics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181
Flexibility Creates Constructive Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184
Being Stuck . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184
Are You Stuck? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xi 1/3/13 12:27 PM


xii Contents

Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186
Key Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187
Review Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187

v Part TWO Special Applications 189

n Chapter 6 Emotions in Conflict 190


Introducing Emotion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 190
Misconceptions of Emotion in Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 194
A Model of Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 194
Finding Feelings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 196
Functions of Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199
Functions of Negative Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 201
Functions of Positive Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 208
Core Concerns: Organizing Positive Emotions . . . . . . . . . 209
The Mid-Range: Zone of Effectiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 210
First Steps: Learn to Be a Warrior—of the Heart . . . . . . . 211
Personal Responsibility for Emotional Transformation . . . . . . 218
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 219
Key Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 220
Review Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 220

n Chapter 7 Analyzing Your Conflicts 221


Macro-Level Analysis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222
Systems Theory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222
Complex Conflict Patterns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 226
Micro-Level Analysis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 238
Interaction Rules . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 238
Microevents . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 239
Comprehensive Guides . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 242
Conflict Assessment Guide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 242
Difficult Conversations Guide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 245
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 246
Key Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 246
Review Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 246

n Chapter 8 Interpersonal Negotiation 247


Negotiation in Everyday Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 247
Negotiation Is One Path to Conflict Resolution . . . . . . . . . . . 249
Negotiation and Culture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 250
Constructive Argumentation: Test Ideas, Not People . . . . . . . 252

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xii 1/3/13 12:27 PM


Contents xiii

Approaches to Negotiation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 255


Competitive Negotiation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 255
Assumptions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 255
Communication Patterns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 258
Disadvantages . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 259
Integrative Negotiation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 260
Assumptions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 261
Balancing Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 262
Communication Patterns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 262
Coaching for Integrative Negotiators: Putting It
Into Practice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 262
Nonspecific Compensation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 265
Disadvantages of Integrative Bargaining . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 267
Seven Elements of Principled Negotiation . . . . . . . . . . . . . 268
What Makes Implementing the Core Concerns
So Difficult? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 271
The Language of Integration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 272
Competitive and Integrative Phases . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 275
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 276
Key Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 277
Review Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 277

n Chapter 9 Third-Party Intervention 278


The Need for Third Parties . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 278
Advantages of Using Skilled Third Parties . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 279
Informal Help . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 279
Conditions for Helping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 280
Cautions about Informal Intervention . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 282
Formal Intervention . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 283
The Intervention Continuum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 283
When the Parties Decide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 283
When an Outsider Decides . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 297
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 301
Key Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 302
Review Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 302

n Chapter 10 The Practice of Forgiveness and


Reconciliation 303
Forgiveness and Reconciliation in the Context of
Interpersonal Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303
Some Definitions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 304
What’s to Forgive? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 305
Some Misconceptions about Forgiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 308

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xiii 1/3/13 12:27 PM


xiv Contents

When There Is an Imbalance of Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 310


The Matter of Memory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 312
Decision or Process? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 314
Emphasizing Process over Decision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 315
Getting Stuck: Eddies in the River . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 319
The Personal and Interpersonal Dimensions
of Forgiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 320
Gestures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 323
The Value and Limits of Apology . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 325
Switching the Point of View: Receiving Forgiveness
and Forgiving Oneself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .330
Reconciliation: A Late Stage in the Journey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 332
Insights from History, Politics, and Literature . . . . . . . . . . 332
The Strand of Truth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 333
The Strand of Forbearance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 334
The Strand of Empathy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 336
Commitment to the Relationship out of Awareness
of Our Interdependence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 336
The Tie That Binds: A Multicultural Example
from Hawaii . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 338
Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 341
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 341
Key Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 342
Review Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 343

References 344
Name Index 364
Subject Index 370

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xiv 1/3/13 12:27 PM


Preface
We are pleased to still be engaged in the ever-evolving work of studying and writing
about conflict resolution. Since our first edition in 1978, approaches to interpersonal
conflict continue to grow in exciting and helpful ways. In this, our ninth edition of
Interpersonal Conflict, we are glad to have a chance to change along with the field.
All chapters reflect the latest research on interpersonal conflict. Some of the earlier
writings no longer need to be cited, as they are now taken for granted. They have been
removed to make the book more readable.
Chapter 1, “The Nature of Conflict,” retains the resilient definition of conflict that
has focused our work for three decades. Throughout, we have simplified and clarified
the writing and added cases where needed. This chapter now reflects an emphasis emerg-
ing in several disciplines on the narrative nature of ideas and analysis.
Chapter 2, “Perspectives on Conflict,” includes a new section on how one’s world-
view affects how you think and feel. We simplified the popular “metaphors” section in
a way that fits with the central theme of the book: that conflict presents both danger
and opportunity. The metaphors are now organized into those that present conflict as a
situation of danger or a situation of creative opportunity. This will make it easier for
students to use the ideas of narratives and metaphors of conflict in their own lives and
analyses.
Chapter 3, “Interests and Goals,” has become a cornerstone for teaching about why
conflicts happen. The TRIP acronym helps people understand the layers of conflict. We
have clarified and expanded applications of the topic, relationship, identity, and process
interests. Clarity of the TRIP goals gives hope for actual resolution instead of repeating
patterns that feel familiar, but lead nowhere.
Chapter 4, “Power,” retains the relational explanation of power set forth in earlier
editions. Through case studies showing how difficult it is to work with power, we show
you how to increase power for all parties through integrative communication approaches.
In this chapter we have removed decades of once useful but now outdated references.
Chapter 5 is now titled “Conflict Styles.” We removed the confusing designation
between styles and tactics, since the entire book is devoted to different communication
tactics. We focus, instead, on the central idea of five conflict styles. We have changed
“collaborative styles” to “integrative styles,” “avoiding” to “obliging,” and “competing”
to “dominating” to better reflect the current literature on conflict styles. We retain the
popular five-styles model, but change the format and designations on the model to
update the approach in the chapter. We footnote previous designations to clarify the
changes for the student.
Chapter 6, “Emotions in Conflict,” has been completely rewritten. We added a
model of emotions to assist readers in organizing and categorizing their feelings and
emotions. Developments in attachment theory and the adaptive nature of emotions
receive more attention. We expanded the section on the value of positive emotions and
the section on how to deal constructively with strong negative emotions. New case
studies and applications clarify the chapter.
We changed the title of Chapter 7 to “Analyzing Your Conflicts.” We keep most
of the conflict mapping tools from previous editions, but changed the focus to both

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xv 1/3/13 12:27 PM


xvi Preface

macro-level and micro-level analysis. The two chapters, on emotion and thinking, work
together in a more complementary way.
Chapter 8, “Interpersonal Negotiation,” retains the organizational structure from
the last edition. However, we have expanded the ways that negotiation can be used in
organizational and everyday interpersonal situations. We have added new cases to illus-
trate the prevalence of the need to negotiate, and have added sections on the “heart
and soul” of the negotiator, emphasizing the need to preserve the relationship while
negotiating. We point out the clear advantages of integrative negotiation for interper-
sonal conflict. We added a section on negotiation in organizations, including a new case,
from the perspective of the employee, not an outside negotiator. We added new ideas
on balancing power, and a new section on “coaching for integrative negotiators,” which
gives practical suggestions for how to put integrative negotiation into practice. Overall,
the tone of the chapter fits more seamlessly with the rest of the book.
Chapter 9, “Third-Party Intervention,” remains the same, structurally, as in the last
edition. We added a new section on “coaching people in a system” that reflects the
popularity of communication coaching in organizations. We expanded an application
on mediation in family disputes, making it into an application that students can use in
class. We added an application on students as mediators—how they might follow this
path as a career by learning more about mediation.
Chapter 10, “The Practice of Forgiveness and Reconciliation,” (written by
Gary W. Hawk), has been considerably updated and changed. Definitions of both con-
cepts have been added and clarified. The section on making choices about whether to
forgive has been expanded, giving more questions for consideration. Misconceptions of
forgiveness now include a section on pseudo-forgiveness. The advantages of forgive-
ness for the party that was harmed are explored, with cautions against the pressure to
forgive, which can further harm a lower-power party. The chapter orients more toward
interpersonal forgiveness. Some of the political and literary examples have been omitted
or shortened. The chapter continues to focus on forgiveness as a process rather than an
outcome. Several new interpersonal cases were added to illustrate the process, including
one that focuses on soldiers returning from war and one that presents problems relating
to violations on Facebook. The section on apology, both public and private, is expanded.
We think you will like the changes and find the chapter a valuable resource, integrated
well into the rest of the book.
Let us know what you think! We pay close attention to responses from students
and professors. We receive each comment gratefully and like being in dialogue with you
about your experience with the book. Best wishes as you begin or continue the journey
of discover about interpersonal conflict.
Joyce L. Hocker and Bill Wilmot
Spring 2012
[email protected]
[email protected]

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xvi 1/3/13 12:27 PM


Preface xvii

nAcknowledgments
To the Reader from Joyce Hocker
Back in the early seventies when I began to study and write about conflict resolution
for my dissertation at the University of Texas, all I wanted to do was finish the project
and move on with my academic life. I found, however, that conflict theory and practice
moved right along with me, both in the unfolding of my academic life and then my
second career as a clinical psychologist. As it turned out, the study and transformation
of interpersonal conflict greatly enriched my life as a professor and a psychologist and
now again as a teacher, writer, retreat leader, and organizational communication coach.
I cannot imagine how different my life would have been had I chosen a different topic.
As we say in auto-ethnography, “the topic chose me.”
For the ninth edition of Interpersonal Conflict, I want to dedicate my work to my
father, Lamar Hocker. My Dad was a progressive minister in Georgia, North Carolina,
and Texas. He grew up in a small town in central Texas in a conventional family. From
there he went to college and seminary at Texas Christian University in Ft. Worth in
the 1930s and 40s where he met professors and studied literature that set his life course,
one that emphasized social justice and ethical choices. My mother, Jean, supported him.
Coming from a very modest family background in San Antonio, she studied religion
and journalism on scholarship at TCU and went to seminary for a year. Then they set
out together for what amounted to a team approach to ministry. My Dad was a power-
ful speaker and teacher. His strong voice lives inside me now. He was not, however, a
skillful manager of conflict, or the turmoil that erupted all too often along with the
social issues of the fifties, sixties, and seventies. My sister Janice and I used to wryly
comment that we had to go into the field of communication because we saw how poorly
communication was handled in the churches of our youth. My father was “right,” in our
family opinion, but did not know how to build support by constructively engaging the
parties to a conflict. So why am I dedicating this work to him? His values were rock
solid. His moral (but not judgmental) stance expressed who he was. He researched and
spoke about the issues of the day, and he firmly believed that all people are equal, and
that war was a tragedy. As a clergyman who did not join the chaplaincy in World War II,
he spent the rest of his active life explaining the principles and values of equality and
nonviolence (although he told me he knew that World War II had to be fought). As
oldest daughters often do when they have fathers who talk with them, ask them ques-
tions, respect them, and support them, I filled in what my father did not know how to
do very well—I learned how to teach and practice the art of conflict resolution. My
father read earlier editions of the book. He was proud of me and often said, “I needed
to know all of this back then.” I honor my Dad for having the courage of his convic-
tions, for raising his three children to uphold the same values, and for respecting our
ideas and individual identities.
I also join with Bill in honoring Jacqueline Gibson. Jacquie was a student of ours
in the seventies and eighties at the University of Montana—those early, exciting years
of teaching conflict resolution, mediation, bringing trainers to Montana, and generally
spreading the word about the “better way” of working through our difficulties with skill
and grace. Jacquie was part of all this creative ferment. At her memorial service, I said
that I had “ostensibly” been her teacher, but that really I learned as much from her as

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xvii 1/3/13 12:27 PM


xviii Preface

I might have taught her. We plowed new ground together and I am grateful for her
collaborative, cheerful, skillful influence, which I still feel.
I am also very grateful for my husband, Gary Hawk, not only for writing an excellent
chapter on forgiveness and reconciliation (for the fourth time), but for supporting me in
a wonderful way through the revision process through a dark and cold Montana winter.
He took real interest in the new ideas I was exploring, and encouraged me when the
process seemed long and tiring. He took me to Whitefish when I badly needed a break
and did not complain when all I wanted to do was sleep and read instead of explore
winter in Whitefish. Thanks for that well-timed trip, Gary. At a deeper level, Gary helps
me by studying ideas and practices in common, talking through these approaches, and
co-creating with me a home in which the practices of this book are common currency
as we live in this marriage together, for more than eighteen years now.
In the early phase of research for this edition, Georgie Ferguson provided expert
research assistance. I am especially grateful for a group of friends who helped, directly
or indirectly, with this book. My writers’ group, while encouraging me in many other
areas, read with great precision the revision of Chapter 6 on emotions in conflict. Leslie
Burgess, Nancy Heil, and Candace Crosby talked through ideas in that chapter and
provided a way for me to expand and clarify what I wanted to say. Thank you, writer
friends. Chris Fiore worked with me in our ongoing project with the Indian Health
Service, where we refined and practiced many of the ideas in this book. I appreciate
Chris for her ability to adapt to unforeseen organization challenges, and for making
travel such a delight. My former assistant and good friend Sally Brown has provided the
excellent index for four editions. She kept my business straight so I could focus on my
work, and now she helps me play and relax, even though I continue to be “play chal-
lenged.” Shannon Hall, former director of the Arkansas Court Ordered Mediation Proj-
ect, took the conflict class from my sister Janice years ago. She contacted me through
Tom Frentz, I taught several workshops, and in the process we became friends. Life and
work connects us, sometimes surprisingly, with people of like mind. Sally Thompson
and Diane Haddon, dear friends of many years, encourage me with their accepting and
perceptive friendship. They often remember aspects of my life that I have temporarily
forgotten, and lovingly remind me of what is truly important. Long-time friend Gayle
Younghein, who co-leads our winter retreats to Mexico and Central America, has also
become my summer Colorado friend, as we both claim our love for the Western Colorado
high country in Crested Butte and Tincup. Gale Young, who for many years has taught
from this book, reminds me to make it good since she has to teach from it. I appreciate
her wise and generous counsel.
Anne de Vore, Jungian analyst and cherished guide, continues to provide wise
counsel in many areas—topics in the book, how to set up my life of semi-retirement,
and always, to pay attention to the gifts of my dreams. Thank you, Anne, for your
original and continuing help with conflict and emotions, for talking with me about what
to teach and how to teach at this stage of my life, and for believing in me as a writer
and “free-lance human being,” a phrase I first heard from Anne. Anne remembers every
edition of this book and, like a Greek chorus commenting on the action, gives warnings,
helps me remember what is important, and urges me to heed what I find to be central.
I owe a great debt to all my former psychotherapy clients, many of whom gave
permission to me to use parts of their stories, disguised, and all of whom helped me refine

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xviii 1/3/13 12:27 PM


Preface xix

the ideas in this book over and over (especially the couples with whom Gary and I worked).
I continue to learn from work with long-term organizational clients, and from the people
who ask for immediate intervention in their organizational conflicts (which of course are
always interpersonal in nature). The practices we describe in this book are tested with
many people; all of them made a difference in the development of the ideas. I have the
delightful opportunity to return to teaching at this point in my life. At the Red Willow
Learning Center, I teach mental health providers and people from the community in a
beautiful, serene, “green building” directed with great expertise by long-time friend,
Kathy Mangan. I appreciate Kathy’s flawless organization and her invitation to me to teach
topics I love to teach. Also I very much enjoy my teaching at the Montana Osher Lifelong
Learning Institute at the University of Montana. There I teach “Life Writing” and
“Mending Words” to people over 50, learning again that we all carry stories that want to
be told and we all have relationships that need the art of restorative conversation. I learn
so much from working with these wonderfully motivated students. The venues are a pro-
fessor’s dream—bright, interested students, and no tests and papers to grade!
In recent years I have rejoined the National Communication Association, where
I connect with long-time colleagues and new friends and teachers. I especially appreci-
ate the community we’ve developed in the Southern States Communication Associa-
tion. I first started going to SSCA to see my sister Janice’s friends after her death, and
to have a good way to connect with Tom Frentz, my brother-in-law. Now I count on
my colleagues and friends there, and have found a home in the Ethnography division,
where I send memoirs that I write and sometimes get a chance to read before people
who love to hear good stories. I cannot write about this book without expressing my
love and gratitude for my years with my sister, Janice Hocker Rushing, who read six
editions with great care and was always our best reader. I have missed her in all ways
during these eight years without her. Revising the book brings back all the dedications,
conversations, and stories of ours that made their way into the book. Janice helped shape
me. Her love weaves through my life like a golden thread in the tapestry of my life.
Tom Frentz encouraged me throughout this revising process. As a writer, he knew what
I meant when I said, “OK, I’m closing in on Chapter 6,” or other tedious reports only
another writer could appreciate. Thanks, Tom, for all the e-mails and support embedded
in this project and in my life. My brother, Ed, supports me with his interest and encour-
agement. He, too, is a writer, so knows how to commiserate with the process of revision
of a very long document. Ed embodies the principles of this book as he works on trans-
portation planning for the United States. He and I uphold our parents’ values for peace
in their cabin, Shalom, which we now enjoy.
My extended family of Hawks brings great delight to this stage of my life. Andy
and Heather and our grandchildren Emelia and Oren, along with Kyle and Samantha
and our granddaughters Bodhi and Koa, help keep me connected to the ongoing stream
of life. I wish for them a life with less devastating conflict, and for their children’s
children, I wish for a world of peace.

Joyce L. Hocker
University of Montana, Faculty Affiliate
Joyce L. Hocker and Associates
[email protected]

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xix 1/3/13 12:27 PM


xx Preface

To the Reader from Bill Wilmot


My mother once said, “Why would you want to study conflict?” The answer is that all
relationships are fascinating and perplexing, and conflict sometimes arises. Your interest
in conflict, or revulsion to the entire topic, hopefully will lead you to new discoveries
in this edition. Whether you like conflict or hate it—it tends to show up.
The dedication to Jacquie Gibson reflects my huge admiration for her work. I still
recall in 1982 when she was a standout student in a class on conflict. This was the
beginning of a long and fruitful relationship. We were trained by Will Neville in family
mediation, then co-mediated family cases, and it was quite a learning experience for
both of us. Jacquie was a kind and gentle soul, totally open to others and a master
mediator who mediated and facilitated over 800 cases in organizations, romantic rela-
tionships, and families. Her skill at conducting conflict workshops was unmatched, and
those of us in the Collaboration Institute were blessed with her ongoing insights and
commitment to improving our personal and professional relationships. One reflection of
her continuing work is the list of “feeling” words in the emotions chapter. Jacquie lived
by the motto of “we only teach what we have to learn, and we keep teaching it until
we learn it.” She used this book multiple times and, knew the power of these concepts,
as a mediator better than anyone. Jacquie’s passing in 2011 was a loss to all of us. She
and her partner Sandy Shull were the prototype of how to engage in a long-term, close
relationship. Jacquie left a mark of compassion and clarity about how to get “unstuck”’
in conflict. Thanks, good friend.
Other professional colleagues continue to stay in touch and deepen the analysis of
conflict. Julie Benson-Rosston, Marc Scow, and Roy Andes have helped numerous peo-
ple get to a new place when difficulties arise. I am pleased to say that we have all
remained friends over the years as our practices of conflict continue to unfold. There is
nothing better than getting a text message or phone call about some issue they are
working with. Roy has remained a steadfast friend for more years than he and I can
count. While we have yet to permanently settle the question of “who is the best tele-
mark skier,” we have discovered in our “wisdom years” that it really doesn’t matter.
I know no one else except Roy, in our age category, who could have done that 15-mile
hike, up and down, ending up on Interstate 15 trying to hitch a ride to town in the
dark. It was a classic. I look forward to many more years of twists and turns in our lives.
The mediation program at St. Cloud State University deserves a special note.
Bob Inkster and I were friends (more than two years ago) at the University of Wyoming
and he brought me to St. Cloud State numerous times in the past 10 years to teach conflict
and mediation. St. Cloud has a highly effective internal program for mediating conflict
within the University system. Ink, you are a true treasure. Your efforts got me in touch with
others such as Jeff Ringer and Roseanna Ross, who are wonderful teachers and role models
for how to continue learning and growing professionally and personally. Thanks, Ink.
My colleagues at SRI International, innovators who make the world a better place,
are superb. When you pick up the iPhone and talk to Siri, when you use a computer
mouse, or if a family member has non-invasive surgery (Da Vinci technology), you are
using an SRI innovation. First and foremost, Curt Carlson has been a mentor, co-author,
boss, friend, and about every other relationship you can imagine. He continues to
support SRI people and others and helps them achieve more than they thought possible.

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xx 1/3/13 12:27 PM


Preface xxi

Curt, if every CEO were like you, there would not be nasty stories to tell about CEOs.
You are the best of the best, and we will continue to carry the SRI torch with you.
Our SRI innovation team has expanded due to the efforts of Steve Ciesinski. Steve
is amazing with clients, and his team of Brian Engleman, Rob Pearlstein, Dennis Tsu,
Janet Gregory and Marianne Poulsen has achieved more than we could envision. It is
such a pleasure to work with people from Finland, Germany, Malaysia, Japan, Sweden,
Taiwan, Chile, and others. We always learn as much as we teach during our 5 Disciplines
of Innovation workshops. Brian, thanks to you for working through our bump and form-
ing a team of two totally opposite people who can really “click.” Brian and I have done
workshops for more than three years and each workshop is better than the last. Rob,
your energy and unstoppable nature are a sight to behold. Dennis is the leader of our
program and Janet has really stepped up when we got overwhelmed with requests.
Marianne, your fluency with multiple languages continues to astound me almost as much
as your knowledge of everything about innovation. And to all of you, thanks for your
personal support as I faced some health issues.
Melanie Trost, my spouse, is an incredible person. She is one of the few people who
has coupled solid academic credentials with an open heart. As I wrote once before, “she
leads with a kind heart and sparkling intellect, never wavering from kindness toward
others.” Her second career, in hospice, has been inspiring and uplifting. So few of us
could actually do that work. So far, we have lived in Tempe, AZ, Missoula, MT, at our
mountain cabin at Georgetown Lake, MT, Walla Walla, WA, and temporarily in the
Palo Alto, CA area. In each case, Melanie adapts and finds the positives about our new
environment. As age continues to march on, she is there as an unstoppable support.
I just hope that I can keep up my end of the bargain, as she has. Melanie, my never-
ending gratitude and appreciation for you. If I tell people about your cooking skills, we
may get folks pounding on the door wanting to join us for dinner, so I won’t.
My favorite son (Jason) and favorite daughter (Carina) are off on their own paths
and both doing extremely well. Jason’s wife, Kate Wilmot, keeps the bears in Grand
Teton Park out of trouble (it isn’t the bears, it is the people!) and Jason chases wolver-
ines in places you would not want to go. Here is a hint, if either asks you to go on a
cross-country walk or ski, you had better be in top physical condition. Carina is currently
in law school and will be an attorney who actually helps folks. She does an amazing job
of juggling two active boys (are there any other types?), working, and law school. We
could all use some of her efficiency. The respective grandkids, Sydney and Luke Wilmot
and Evan and Karson Stefaniak, are the decibel raisers and always fun to be with,
whether at the family cabin in Wyoming, Glacier Park, or Missoula, MT. Keep that
energy coming kids. In the past year I’ve taken the opportunity to sort through photos
of Jason, Carina, and me on our adventures through the years. The two of you have
had many “memory builder” experiences—those trips you tell stories about but never
want to repeat. Pictures from the Scapegoat wilderness in Montana to Mount Everest
and Mount Kailas in Tibet, to the three of us sitting (all with headaches) on top of
Cloud Peak in Wyoming, continue to warm my heart.
Speaking of family, I have been blessed to have the extended Trost family as terrific
in-laws and friends. Del, Rena, Doug and Gloria and spouses Joan, Delos and Kate really
can’t know how important their ongoing support of me has been. The funny thing is,
we like one another and have a grand time when together. Their respective children

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xxi 1/3/13 12:27 PM


xxii Preface

and grandchildren are too numerous to mention, nevertheless they are an important
part of the mix. I am fortunate to have that diverse, supportive extended family.
Rosie and Gus, our Australian Shepherds, are quite the pair. Rosie is fourteen,
almost deaf, but still takes daily walks and comes up to me at exactly 9:45 every night
and looks, saying with her eyes, “Hey, big guy, did you lose your watch or what? It is
bedtime.” So we help her get up the stairs by the bed and she settles in. While Rosie
clearly likes her space and prefers to just stay five feet away, Gus is a needy guy who
has to touch you at all times. He is the most touch hungry dog I have ever met in my
life. He is happiest when he has trips to “Pintler Pothole #1,” my secret fishing spot in
the mountains that only Del and Tyler have seen with Gus and me.
A special thank you to Paul Wilson, housing contractor extraordinaire. He is
immensely talented and one of the hardest working people I know. He is an exceptional
parent to Luke and Conner under difficult circumstances and walks with integrity in a
business that is easily corrupted. Paul, thanks for being such a good friend and checking
in over and over, even when you are in North Dakota.
Elaine Yarbrough and Mike Burr continue to be close friends, and always appear
somewhere. Just yesterday Elaine texted me “Hi, we are in Tanzania” (the Serengeti).
Such steadfast friends are not easy to find and keep. I am impressed with how they adapt
to the unpredictable in life and continue to travel the world. My week on a boat with
them going down the Seine River was just magical and indescribable fun. Let’s keep
those connections going, for our paths have many more turns to go.
So, why would I like to study conflict? It is precisely because I saw people in my
immediate family not do well that led to my fascination with it. You, of course, will
have your own reasons. Thanks to all of you who enter into the study and practice of
interpersonal conflict. I hope it is helpful to you.

Bill Wilmot
Professor Emeritus
University of Montana
Director, Collaboration Institute
[email protected]

To the reader from Gary Hawk


I want to gratefully acknowledge Dr. Rita Sommers-Flanagan who first gave me an
opportunity to teach the course that is the basis for much of what I write about in
Chapter 10; four deans and several donors who supported the teaching of forgiveness
and reconciliation at the Davidson Honors College; a few hundred students who have
also been my teachers; the Aunties of Hale Hulu Mamo who trusted me with their
stories and traditions; Bill Wilmot and Joyce Hocker who invited me to contribute to
each of the last four editions of the book; and most of all for Joyce. She finds language
for things we feel but cannot easily name, discerns the subtle difference between mate-
rial that belongs in a text and a classroom, and is my partner in what a dream called
the House of Forgiveness.

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xxii 1/3/13 12:27 PM


Preface xxiii

From Both Authors


We have benefitted greatly through the years from feedback from students, new adopt-
ers, and long-time adopters. Your detailed suggestions, comments on what is helpful to
you, and notes about what we might include next time continue to improve this project.
Please keep contact with us at our emails listed above. It’s a privilege to hear from you.

Supplements
For Instructors: A password-protected instructor’s manual is available online at
www.mhhe.com/hocker9e. Please ask your McGraw-Hill representative for access
information.
For Students: True/false quizzes, multiple choice quizzes, and Application boxes are
available on the Online Learning Center (www.mhhe.com/hocker9e).
The ninth edition of Interpersonal Conflict is available as
an eTextbook at www.CourseSmart.com. CourseSmart is a
new way to find and buy eTextbooks. At CourseSmart you
can save up to 50% off the cost of a print textbook, reduce
your impact on the environment, and gain access to powerful
Web tools for learning. CourseSmart has the largest selection of eTextbooks available
anywhere, offering thousands of the most commonly adopted textbooks from a wide
variety of higher education publishers. CourseSmart eTextbooks are available in one
standard online reader with full text search, notes and highlighting, and email tools for
sharing notes between classmates. For further details, contact your sales representative or
go to www.coursesmart.com.

hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xxiii 1/3/13 12:27 PM


hoc36933_fm-i-xxiv.indd xxiv 1/3/13 12:27 PM
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Australian
aboriginal
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United
States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away
or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License
included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you
are not located in the United States, you will have to check the
laws of the country where you are located before using this
eBook.

Title: The Australian aboriginal

Author: Herbert Basedow

Release date: October 23, 2023 [eBook #71940]

Language: English

Original publication: Adelaide: F. W. Freece & Sons, 1925

Credits: Tim Lindell and the Online Distributed Proofreading


Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced
from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive)

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE


AUSTRALIAN ABORIGINAL ***
THE
AUSTRALIAN ABORIGINAL

THE BUFFALO HUNTERS’ TRIUMPH

H. BASEDOW, pinx.

THE
AUSTRALIAN
ABORIGINAL
BY
HERBERT BASEDOW
M.A., M.D., Ph.D., B.Sc., F.G.S., etc.
SOMETIME CHIEF MEDICAL INSPECTOR AND CHIEF PROTECTOR OF
ABORIGINES
IN THE NORTHERN TERRITORY; SPECIAL ABORIGINES’ COMMISSIONER
FOR THE FEDERAL AND STATE GOVERNMENTS; LOCAL CORRESPONDENT
ROYAL ANTHROPOLOGICAL INSTITUTE OF GREAT
BRITAIN AND IRELAND; HONORARY FELLOW ANTHROPOLOGICAL
SOCIETY OF GÖTTINGEN, ETC.

With 146 Illustrations

Adelaide:
F. W. PREECE AND SONS
1925

Registered by the Postmaster-General for


transmission through the post as a book.
Wholly set up and printed in Australia
at The Hassell Press, Adelaide.
TO THE MEMORY OF MY MOTHER
ANNA CLARA HELENE BASEDOW
PREFACE
For some years past it had been my intention to write a
progressive series of treatises on the Australian aboriginal,
embodying observations as they were being made. As time wore on,
however, my procrastination amassed so great a fund and so great a
variety of notes that my original plan became impossible. The delay
was not altogether through any fault of mine, but through a run of
fortunate happenings which allowed me to spend the better part of
every year in the great unbounded spaces of central and northern
Australia, to live among the uncontaminated tribes, and to study
Australian anthropology at the fountain head. It was through my
repeated and prolonged absences from the city (and civilization in
general) that I could not attend to the publication of any lengthy
scientific papers.
Apart from my private and professional journeys, the following are
some of the better known expeditions I have accompanied or led:

The Government North-West Expedition,


Government Expedition of Geological Exploration in the
Northern Territory,
Cruise of the s.s. “White Star” under His Excellency Sir
George Le Hunte, Governor of South Australia,
Mineralogical Survey of the Flinders Ranges,
Sir Joseph Verco’s Deep Sea Dredging Expeditions,
Exploration of Melville and Bathurst Islands,
Expedition in Search of Munition Minerals in the Northern
Kimberleys of Western Australia, officially subsidized by
the Premier (Hon. John Scaddan, M.P.),
Expedition in Search of Munition Minerals in Central Australia,
Three South Australian Medical Relief Expeditions among the
Aborigines,
Expedition in Search of Reported Remains of Leichhardt,
under auspices of S.A. Geographical Society,
Commonwealth Medical Survey of Aborigines in the Northern
Territory,
Mararoa Geological Expedition from Darwin to Northern
Kimberleys,
Viceregal Expedition to Central Australia, under His
Excellency, Sir Tom Bridges, Governor of South
Australia,
Commonwealth Railways Commissioner’s Journey from
Mildura to Port Augusta, under Hon. P. G. Stewart and N.
G. Bell, Esq.,
Expedition through the Interior of Australia, under His
Excellency, the Earl of Stradbroke, Governor of Victoria.

During the terms that I held official positions, firstly as a State


Geologist, and secondly as Chief Medical Officer and Chief Protector
of Aborigines for the Commonwealth Government in the Northern
Territory, opportunities were afforded me of continuing my
investigations among the indigenous population of Australia;
especially fruitful were my researches when, as a Special
Aborigines’ Commissioner, I medically overhauled the tribes of South
Australia and of the southern region of the Northern Territory.
In a more private capacity the southern districts and goldfields of
Western Australia, the coastal and south-western districts of
Queensland, and the north-western areas of New South Wales were
traversed. Quite recently, too, a professional excursion to Java
considerably enriched my knowledge of Melanesian ethnography
and helped to explain the existence of several cults in the northern
districts of Australia which border on the Indian Ocean.
On the other hand, not long before the war I continued study
abroad and was privileged to be associated with the late Professor
Hermann Klaatsch, under whose admirable guidance my researches
were conducted in the Anatomical School of the University of
Breslau. It will be apparent, therefore, why many of the results
enumerated in the chapters dealing with the racial characteristics of
the Australian aboriginal are based upon the doctrines of this
eminent authority. In London Sir Arthur Keith courteously placed the
whole of the valuable collections of Australian skulls and skeletons in
the Hunterian Museum of the Royal College of Surgeons at my
disposal; while Captain T. A. Joyce, in an equally generous way,
facilitated my investigations in the anthropological galleries of the
British Museum; I am taking advantage of this opportunity of
expressing my sincere gratitude to these two gentlemen. I also
desire to thank the Directors of the National and University Museums
which I visited in France, Germany, Switzerland, and Holland, who
so willingly responded to my enquiries and brought me into personal
contact with any matters I was especially interested in.
While engaged upon one of my later commissions in central
Australia, my duties took me to the Hermannsburg Mission Station
on the Finke River, where for a fortnight I enjoyed the companionship
of the Rev. Carl Strehlow and received every assistance in my
researches among the western groups of the Arunndta tribe.
Through the recent pathetic and heroic death of Strehlow, Science
has lost an indefatigable and conscientious worker, and the
aborigines a staunch and faithful friend.
In the present volume I have endeavoured to sift my subject
matter in such a way as to keep the text in a suitable sequence and
to make it of general interest. The principal difficulty has been to
delete matter in order to keep down the bulk of the book. The latter
remark applies equally well to the selection of illustrations; it was
with a heavy heart that I found myself obliged to reduce the number
of plates, all of which illustrated interesting points referred to in the
text. Nevertheless, I feel that I am greatly indebted to the publisher,
Mr. F. W. Preece, for allowing me to include so many more
illustrations than he had originally counted upon.
Now that the manuscript is in the hands of the printer, I feel that
there are several chapters I should like to have done more justice to;
those, for instance, dealing with tribal organizations, initiation
ceremonies, religious ideas, and art might have been considerably
expanded if it had not been for the want of space. In those on
religious ideas and art, I realize that I am launching in new directions
so far as Australian anthropology is concerned, but I trust that the
evidence which I have produced will be sufficient to prove that I did
not arrive at the results too hastily, or, indeed, without deliberation
and substantiation. Phallic worship had long been suspected in
Australia, and some of our foremost authorities, such as the late R.
Etheridge, Jun., were inclined to explain the occurrence of certain
stones and other objects in the tribal areas of Australia (present or
past) on that hypothesis. I came upon the evidence accidentally in
1916 in the form of a stone phallus erected in the ground at Success
Strait in the far north-western corner of Australia. The stone was
surrounded by a cleared cirque where much blood had been spilt at
a recent ceremony. A few weeks later I for the first time witnessed an
actual performance on the shores of Cambridge Gulf at which
wooden phallus were produced. Since then I have been able to trace
the existence of phallic worship of some form or other in several
districts of central and northern Australia, an outline of which
appears in a subsequent chapter. I trust that the facts I have been
able to collect may help to illumine the somewhat doubtful question
of how an aboriginal looks upon the process of procreation.
Phallicism is closely related to such forms of Nature worship as are
practised in order to make any species of animal or plant proliferate,
or, for that matter, to bring down a shower of rain in times of drought.
The phallus might gradually merge into a tjuringa. The painted
“Ngadanji” and “Ilbarinam” tjuringas of the Arunndta tribe are
regarded as images of the reproductive organ of a spirit which can
generate life; in that sense they might be classed as phallus. I find
that ancestor worship is generally indulged in; it is difficult at times to
distinguish between an original spirit ancestor and a deity, but a
Supreme Spirit or Deity is believed to exist and to rule over all
creation.
With regard to totemism, I have shown the beliefs in a manner
slightly different from those hitherto recorded. The mystical
relationship between individual and object is traced to a mythical
semi-human forerunner which was common to both and is now a
spirit. The Arunndta call the spirit “Knaninja.” The animal or plant
relative of an individual is what has been commonly called the
“totem” in Australian ethnology, while the symbolic representation of
this object, which becomes the crest of the individual, corresponds to
the “kobong” first described by Sir George Grey. Emblematic
representations of both the “totemic” object and of the Knaninja are
embodied in the tjuringa of the individual.
The essay on art, it will be observed, has been written on
evolutional lines with respect to both technique and design. It will be
understood that the material upon which the conclusions are based
was collected in many parts of Australia and during many years of
travel. The cults in question are in many cases distributed all over
the continent, but occasionally are quite local. As an instance of the
latter kind, I mention the famous drawings recorded by Sir George
Grey, some of which I was fortunate in being able to locate and study
on the Glenelg River in the far north-west. I might mention that, with
very few exceptions, the designs appearing in the book as text
figures are actual tracings reduced by photography to a size in
keeping with the dimensions of the page. There is no doubt that
primitive art in Australia is a fascinating study which has not received
the attention it merits; and unfortunately it is rather late in the day to
think of making a start. The system of conventionalism derived from
the numerous pictographs and carvings is the basis of all characters
and messages one finds on sticks, stones, and persons; it is the only
key to an understanding of sacred tjuringa symbols. We have for too
long looked upon aboriginal designs as meaningless, and upon
aboriginal art production as being idle concoctions out of nothing
which were invented just to make a thing “look pretty.” This is
anything but the true position. An aboriginal artist knows no such
thing as a design without motive or origin; to him the shortest line or
the smallest circle conveys a thought. In the chapter dealing with
stone implements, I have, among other things, described a new type
of scraper which was used by the now extinct Adelaide tribe for
trimming skins of animals.
The article on language is not intended to be at all comprehensive;
my main object was to give a general idea of the construction,
together with a few examples of the idiomatic uses, of the aboriginal
tongue. I hope at a later date to be able to present a complete
account of the Arunndta and Aluridja dialects, including the
syntactical rules and grammatical forms.
I have to offer an apology to any authors who may claim priority to
some of the facts which I mention in this book. I have written this
account of the Australian aboriginal without attempting to consult
previous literature, for the simple reason that, had I started looking
up all necessary references, the volume might never have been
completed. My time at headquarters has been so limited during the
last fifteen years that, in the absence of a library near at hand, it was
impossible for me to adopt any other method than to write up my
observations at first-hand and run the risk of a certain amount of
trespass. Nevertheless, I trust that the authors so affected will realize
that there was no slight intended and will treat my transgression in
the spirit of independent corroboration.
Our knowledge of Australian ethnology is so meagre that every
man who has had first-hand experience among the tribes should
consider it his bounden duty to place on record any facts he
possesses, however trivial they may be. Every year the number of
people who have seen the unsophisticated savage is dwindling.
When I look back to the time of my first meeting with the tribes of
central Australia, just twenty years ago, and compare the conditions
of then and now, I shudder to think how quickly the romance of
aboriginal affairs, together with all the scientific treasures it
encompassed, has vanished, and is now irretrievably lost to the
world. The rising generation will not have the advantage of men of
even our time. Bones, stone artefacts, and wooden implements will
remain in our museums for ever, but the habits, laws, beliefs, and
legends are doomed to rapid extinction.
I do not claim to be an initiated member of any tribe. To be candid,
I several times tried to qualify by impressive exhibitions of surgical
skill and exaggerated munificence, but, although I gained the
confidence and goodwill of the old men, I was informed that I could
only be accepted provided I passed through the different grades of
initiation and submitted to the attendant mutilations in the orthodox
way. The medicine men, however, usually claimed me as a “Kata” or
colleague, and allowed me to witness most of their rituals and sacred
ceremonies, which they carefully explained to me. In this way I was
able, also, to secure a very great series of photographs depicting
intimate scenes from aboriginal life, many of which are unique. The
only photographs illustrating this book which were not taken by me
are those reproduced in Plates XLVIII and XLIX; for these I am
indebted to the late Mr. Nicholas Holtze.
I could not allow this opportunity to pass without making brief
reference to the causes of the early extinction which is threatening
these inoffensive, useful, and scientifically important people. We
have only to cast our eyes in the direction of any wave of settlement
to behold the disastrous effects our occupation of the land has had
on the natives. Take, for instance, the Lake Eyre region, which
embraces the Dieri, Yantowannta, Ngameni, and Yauroworka tribes.
Official reports show that only forty years ago the population was so
dense that the white settlers asked for greater police protection; the
four tribes mentioned numbered many thousands. During a recent
survey on behalf of the Government, I could barely muster three
hundred wretched and decrepit souls in this region, who, literally
speaking, were waiting for a lingering death to relieve them of their
misery. We content ourselves by saying that civilization is the cause
of the increased mortality, no doubt a plausible but very vague
explanation. As a result of my investigations, I venture the opinion
that the factor which has wrought the greatest havoc among the
tribes is disease. The principal scourges are syphilis, pulmonary
tuberculosis, and trachoma. Unless we realize the obligations which
rest on our shoulders and give our natives a medical protection
similar to the successful measures adopted by the United States,
Canada, and New Zealand, they will continue to vanish and soon be
classed as an extinct race.
H. BASEDOW.
Kent Town, South Australia, 2nd November, 1924.
CONTENTS
Chapter Page
I Introduction to an Australian Tribe 1
II Racial Characteristics 5
III The Breast and Abdomen 18
IV The Face and its Skeleton 22
V The Mouth 31
VI The Skull and Brain 34
VII Colour of Aboriginal’s Skin 40
VIII The Hair 46
IX Likely Origin of the Australian Aboriginal 52
X An Aboriginal’s Birth 61
XI Childhood 69
XII The Day’s March 91
XIII Camp Life 100
XIV Hunting 120
XV Vegetable Diet 148
XVI Beverages 153
XVII Pitjuri 155
XVIII Navigation 158
XIX Duels 165
XX Warfare 183
XXI Spears 190
XXII Spear-throwers 199
XXIII Burial and Mourning Customs 203
XXIV Tribal Organizations 216
XXV Tribal Administration 225
XXVI Initiation 230
XXVII Religious Ideas 257
XXVIII Aboriginal Art 297
XXIX Stone Implements 359
XXX Music and Dance 371
XXXI Language 386
LIST OF PLATES
Frontispiece (in colour)—The Buffalo Hunters’
Triumph
Plate Opposite
Page
I Wordaman natives on the march 4
II Comparison of European with Aboriginal figure 12
III 1. Colossal brow-ridge, Arunndta man. 2.
Supra-orbital prominence, deep notch at
root of nose, prognathism, and female
beard 16
IV 1. Aluridja woman. 2. Wongapitcha warrior, so-
called Semitic type 32
V Wordaman man, profile and full-face 36
VI 1. Wongapitcha woman, wearing “ungwaina”
(nose-stick) and fur-string bandeau. 2.
Wongapitcha woman, wearing bloodwood
seed pendants called “dindula” 44
VII 1. Old Yantowannta man, showing a strong
growth of hair covering the body. 2. Old
Yantowannta man, showing peculiar
method of wearing the beard 48
VIII Old Kai-Kai, the leading medicine man of the
western Arunndta 64
IX 1. Men of Kolaia tribe, Cambridge Gulf,
wearing the hair tied at the back around a
pad of emu feathers. 2. Wongapitcha men
wearing ornamental wooden hair-pins 68
X 1. A juvenile “blonde,” Aluridja tribe. 2. Ponga-
Ponga gin carrying pet opossum on her
head while on the march 76
XI Rocking a child to sleep, Sunday Island 80
XII Juvenile Types. 1. Full-face, female,
Wongkanguru tribe. 2. Profile, female,
Aluridja tribe 96
XIII 1. The game of “gorri,” Humbert River,
Northern Territory. 2. A “Kutturu” duel,
Aluridja tribe 100
XIV 1. Arunndta boy practising with toy shield and
boomerang. 2. Wordaman warrior, holding
prevalent north-western type of spear-
thrower and wearing pubic fur tassel 108
XV 1. Framework of hut in course of construction,
Cooper’s Creek, S.W. Queensland. 2. Hut
decked with porcupine grass, Arltunga
district 112
XVI 1. Wongapitcha women carrying dogs across
their backs. 2. Kolaia man standing in the
characteristic bird-like attitude, Cambridge
Gulf 128
XVII Female wood-carriers, Aluridja tribe 132
XVIII Two handfuls of witchedy grubs 140
XIX 1. Aluridja tree-climber. 2. Wordaman tree-
climber 144
XX Kangaroo hunters, Aluridja tribe 160
XXI 1. Arunndta girl digging “Yelka.” 2. Arunndta gin
cleaning “Yelka” in bark pitchi 164
XXII 1. Sunday Islander making fire by the twirling
process during a ceremonial. 2. “Kaloa” or
mangrove raft, Worora tribe, Glenelg River
district 172
XXIII Aluridja men “pointing” the bone 176
XXIV A “boned” man, Minning tribe 192
XXV 1. Dieri grave, Lake Eyre district. 2.
Yantowannta grave, Innamincka district 196
XXVI 1. Aluridja widow. 2. Yantowannta widow 204
XXVII Tooth-rapping ceremony, Wongapitcha tribe 208
XXVIII 1. Tooth-rapping ceremony. 2. Sunday Islander, 224
who has had the two upper medium
incisors removed during his initiation
XXIX 1. Old men introducing a dance during an
initiation ceremony, Kukata tribe. 2.
Circumcision ceremony, Kukata tribe 228
XXX Circumcision of a Wogait boy 236
XXXI Melville Islander, full-face and profile 240
XXXII An episode of the great fire ceremony, Kolaia
tribe 256
XXXIII Ceremonial venesection, Arunndta tribe. 1. The
median basilic vein is being slit. 2. The
blood which is spurting from the incision is
being collected on a shield 260
XXXIV The “Tjilbakuta” of the great emu ceremony,
Arunndta tribe 268
XXXV Flashlight photograph of “Illiya Tjuringa” or
great emu ceremony, Arunndta tribe 272
XXXVI 1. An ordinary performer in the Ladjia or yam
ceremony, wearing the “tdela” head-gear.
2. The impersonator of the “Kuta Knaninja”
in the Ladjia or yam ceremony 288
XXXVII The sacred “Etominja,” Arunndta tribe 292
XXXVIII 1. Singing to the presiding spirit or Knaninja of
the old women or “Arrekutja Tjuringa.” 2.
Ceremonial head-gear (“Tjilba Purra”) of
phallic significance 300
XXXIX A disenchanted area, Victoria River district 304
XL 1. Rock-carving of human form, Port Hedland.
2. Rock-carvings of lizard, pubic tassel,
and owl, Flinders Ranges 320
XLI 1. Rock-carvings (including platypus design),
Flinders Ranges. 2. Rock-carvings,
Flinders Ranges 324
XLII 1. Rock-carvings, Flinders Ranges. 2. Emu 332
design carved into the butt of a boabab

You might also like