Halley Feiffer - I'm Gonna Pray For You So Hard

I'M GONNA PRAY FOR YOU SO HARD
__________________________
By Halley Feiffer
Di Glazer
ICM Partners
730 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York 10019
212.556.6820
[email protected]
1-15-15
1.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This play would not exist if it were not for Trip Cullman,
who championed it from the very beginning and who has been
vital in shaping it into what it is today. My reverence for
his mind is boundless.
Enormous gratitude to our World Premiere cast, the peerless

Reed Birney and Betty Gilpin, whose contribution to this play
has been invaluable.
Thank you to everyone who has so generously contributed to

this play since its infancy: John Guare, Michael Padden,
Austin Pendleton, Kate Dalton, Louis Cancelmi, The
Rattlestick Playwrights Theater, David Van Asselt, Brian
Roff, Lyle Kessler, Rosal Colon, Katherine Waterston, Stephen
Adly Guirgis, LAByrinth Theater Company, Second Stage
Theater, Chris Burney, Peter Friedman, Manhattan Theater
Club, Annie MacRae, Mandy Greenfield, The Eugene O’Neill
Theater Center, The NTI Theatermakers (Summer ‘14), Wendy
Goldberg, Thomas Kail, Jessica Amato, The Atlantic Theater
Company, Christian Parker, Abigail Katz, Neil Pepe, Di Glazer
and Jenny Allen.
1/15/15
2.
Characters:
ELLA: Twenties. An up-and-coming actress.
DAVID: Seventies. A famous playwright. Ella’s father.
Setting:
ACT I: An Upper West Side Manhattan apartment. Present day.
ACT II: A downtown New York City black box theater. Five
years later.
1/15/15
3.
SCENE 1
An enormous eat-in kitchen in a

large but gone-to-seed prewar
apartment on the Upper West Side.
Late at night.
The room is a mess -- papers and

books clutter the table; half
empty wine bottles dot every
surface; overflowing ashtrays and
old plates of crusty leftovers
are scattered about.
ELLA and DAVID sit at the table.
Ella wears no makeup. She wears

long cut-off denim shorts and a
flannel shirt. Her hair is pulled
back into a ponytail.
David has scraggly gray hair and

gray stubble. He wears outdated
coke-bottle glasses, rumpled
khaki pants with ink stains on
the pockets, and a wrinkled
button-down shirt with the top
few buttons unbuttoned, revealing
white chest hair.
They both drink white wine with

ice. The recently-opened magnum
bottle is on the table. They both
smoke cigarettes. They are in the
middle of a heated conversation.
DAVID
See that’s what I’m talking about -- they’re all fucking
idiots --
ELLA
I know, I know --
DAVID
No you don’t know, Ella! Let me finish --
ELLA
Sorry --
1/15/15
4.
DAVID
They are a sick cadre of pathetic, sniveling, tiny men with
micropenises and no imaginations who write out of their asses
and who love to tear you down because in truth they know that
you are doing exactly what they could never do -- that you
are doing the only thing they have ever wanted to do -- and
they are fucking jealous. You know that, don’t you? How
jealous they are? They’re boiling with envy. They want a
piece of you. They want in. They wanna get inside you! They
wanna climb right in!
ELLA
(laughing)
Whoa!
DAVID
I’m serious. They wanna fuck you. They wanna fuck you so
hard, they’re blind with fuck-rage.
ELLA
(mesmerized)
Wow!
DAVID
Yes. “Wow” is right! And even though they’re almost
exclusively queers -- you think that matters? It doesn’t
matter! Because the kind of fucking they wanna do to you is
gender-blind, soul-blind -- they’re blind to it themselves!
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
I mean it’s like a fucking snot-nosed kid dipping your braid
in his inkwell! They get a kind of pleasure out of being
perverse.
ELLA
HAH!
DAVID
I’m not kidding. Why are you laughing?
ELLA
I’m not --
DAVID
It’s like a pedophile and his prey! Humbert Humbert and
Lolita! She obsesses him and this disgusts him so he abuses
her and then he fucks her, and then abuses her and then fucks
her again!
ELLA
Yes -- yes!
1/15/15
5.
DAVID
I mean haven’t you realized it’s always the brilliant
performances that are the ones that go unnoticed -- or even
worse! -- the ones that get the kind of condescending,
bullshit mentions like: “The serviceable Ella Berryman.”
ELLA
Oh god.
DAVID
“The capable...”
ELLA
“The reliable...”
DAVID
“The sturdy...”! As if you’re a fucking stool they enjoyed
sitting on for the evening!
ELLA
I know -- I know!
DAVID
Or even worse: just the name, in parentheses -- “When
Medvedenko professes his love to Masha” -- and then in
parentheses: “(Ella Berryman),” --
ELLA
Oh god! The worst!
DAVID
Oh god, and then! What’s even worse! Just to rub some salt in
the wound -- just really grind it in -- after giving you the
requisite, dismissive nod -- “Ella Berryman”, (close paren) --
then, a paragraph later they’ll say: “Well, the real pleasure
of the evening is the exquisite performance of --”
ELLA
(loving this)
Oh god -- just stop! Just stop right there!
DAVID
And then they pick the one person in the cast who’s a fucking
hack!
ELLA
(giggling)
Of course -- of course!
DAVID
The one actor who’s chewing the scenery as if he just got
fucking dentures and he’s getting executed next Tuesday!
1/15/15
6.
ELLA
(laughing)
I know -- I know!
DAVID
Or the “ingenue” -- the girl who’s sexy, or (maybe more
accurately), what a gay man thinks he’s supposed to think is
sexy --
ELLA
Ugh, like Clementine.
DAVID
Exactly! Like that fucking Clementine in your play!
(ironically)
Your perfect little “Nina”....
ELLA
Oh gross. Gross!
DAVID
But that’s exactly what they want! A wide-eyed, little brain-
dead... trout-mouth who clearly only a man terrified of his
own mortality would want to fuck!
ELLA
(suddenly very sad)
But everyone wants to fuck her....
DAVID
Well everyone fucking hates themelves!
ELLA
(giggling)
That’s true -- that’s true!
DAVID
That’s why Bertrand cast her, didn’t he? We know that, don’t
we? I mean, it’s certainly not because she’s a good fucking
actress!
ELLA
(laughing)
No!
DAVID
It’s not because of her emotional depth!
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
Her subtlety!
1/15/15
7.
ELLA
Hah!
DAVID
Her nuance!
ELLA
YEAH!
DAVID
The undeniable truth she brings to the role!
ELLA
(dying laughing)
You’re killing me -- you’re killing me!
DAVID
I mean any director worth his salt? Finds that kind of
actress repugnant.
ELLA
I hope so. I hope so....
DAVID
But Bertrand’s an old bag. A has-been -- a joke. A formerly-
famous-now-completely-washed-up-hack!
ELLA
(a bit shocked by his
vitriol)
Dad...!
DAVID
I can’t help it! I didn’t make him that way!
ELLA
Okay, okay....
DAVID
I knew he was a moron when I sent him my play --
ELLA
“Slow Burn”?
DAVID
No, an older draft of the new one -- the one I’m working on
now --
ELLA
“Canarsie”?
DAVID
That was a working title, it’s untitled now --
1/15/15
8.
ELLA
Oh.
DAVID
-- and he didn’t even read it. He sent a note to my agent.
“I’m a great admirer of David’s,” he wrote, “But I’m afraid
my calendar year is full.”
He laughs darkly.
ELLA
Well...
DAVID
What.
ELLA
He is... really... busy....
DAVID
Oh jesus christ, Ella -- don’t make me throw up.
ELLA
(suddenly reticent)
What...?
DAVID
He’s not “busy.” Ella! He’s afraid.
ELLA
”Afraid”?
DAVID
He’s safe.
ELLA
(not quite understanding)
“Safe”...?
DAVID
He knows that at this stage in his sputtering, stagnant,
lifeless career, the critics only like you if you're "safe."
ELLA
Okay.
DAVID
If you do the same bullshit they’ve been stroking your dick
for for thirty years -- just regurgitate the same schlock
you’ve been spooning us for decades and dress it up like it’s
new when anyone with half a brain can clearly see it’s
garbage.
1/15/15
9.
ELLA
Okay.
DAVID
(with fiery resolve)
But that's the one thing you never want to be, Ella.
ELLA
Okay.
DAVID
Be trangressive.
ELLA
Okay....
DAVID
Be upsetting.
ELLA
Okay...!
DAVID
Be bewildering!
ELLA
Okay!
DAVID
But above all -- above all else? Do not be safe.
(beat)
Be anything but safe.
She beams at him.
ELLA
Thanks, Dad. Thanks.
He smiles back at her. Pours

himself more wine.
DAVID
So it makes sense he’d cast a trampy twig like “Clementine”
in your role.
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
Better cast a non-threatening Nina so all the men in the
audience who think they’re Konstantin don’t feel completely
emasculated!
1/15/15
10.
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
Plus, I’m sure he just wanted something pretty to look at in
the rehearsal room while he fades away into utter obscurity!
ELLA
(erupting in a fit of
giggles)
Oh Dad -- oh Dad...!
DAVID
And that’s why he cast her and not you.
Beat.
ELLA
(stung)
Oh....
DAVID
(with a shrug)
I’m not saying you’re ugly....
ELLA
(on the verge of tears)
Thanks.
DAVID
I’m just saying you’re interesting.
ELLA
(trying hard not to cry)
Okay....
Beat.
DAVID
And a little ugly.
ELLA
(tears about to spill)
Dad....
DAVID
It was a joke! Jesus! Can’t you take a joke?!
ELLA
(brushing tears away)
Yeah....
1/15/15
11.
DAVID
(drag on cigarette)
You’re never gonna get very far in this life if you don’t
have a sense of humor about yourself.
ELLA
(glumly)
Okay....
DAVID
(stubs out his cigarette)
You’re brilliant, El. And if you seem like you have a brain?
Then you’re a Masha, I guess. In his book, I mean. He has no
imagination or vision or taste.
ELLA
But...
DAVID
What.
ELLA
(reticent)
I... like... him....
DAVID
(gravely)
Ella.
ELLA
What...?
DAVID
You “like” him?
ELLA
(mustering courage)
He’s nice....
DAVID
He’s “nice”?
ELLA
He is! He’s fun. He’s smart. He’s good.
DAVID
He’s “fun”? He’s “smart”? He’s “good”?
ELLA
He... takes care of us.
DAVID
He fucked you, Ella!
1/15/15
12.
ELLA
Dad!
DAVID
He did! He gave her your part!
ELLA
It wasn’t... “my part”....
DAVID
Don’t say that! It was. It is.
ELLA
Okay. Okay....
DAVID
But now it’s hers. And the real tragedy is -- and you know
this, right? -- that the critics fucking cream themselves
over bimbos like that.
ELLA
I know...!
DAVID
And it’s always the girl like that who gets the “love
letter” -- the New York Times Stamp of Approval....
ELLA
Oh god! It’s so fucking -- arbitrary! Who gets... annointed --
DAVID
-- exactly! --
ELLA
-- and who gets...
DAVID
Overlooked, I know! It’s as random and meaningless as the
Universe...
ELLA
(desperately sad)
Right....
DAVID
With stakes as loaded and consequential as a game of Russian
Roulette.
ELLA
(near despair)
Right...!
Beat.
1/15/15
13.
DAVID
(suddenly full of fire,
again)
But there’s an answer!
ELLA
(now hopeful)
There is?!
DAVID
Of course!
ELLA
(terribly relieved)
Oh good!
DAVID
It’s God.
Beat.
DAVID
Just kidding!
ELLA
Oh.
DAVID
It’s you.
ELLA
Oh...?
DAVID
You have a power -- a control that nobody else has -- that
nobody can take away from you.
ELLA
(getting excited again)
I do?
DAVID
We all do!
ELLA
Oh wow...!
DAVID
So you know what you gotta do?
ELLA
What?
1/15/15
14.
DAVID
You know what you gotta say to them?
ELLA
What?!
DAVID
Go fuck yourself.
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
Go hang yourself on a noose and die.
ELLA
(laughs)
Wow!
DAVID
And then you’ve gotta say -- you know what you’ve gotta say
next?
ELLA
What?!
DAVID
You’ve gotta say what my old boss Milo Koppler always said --
ELLA
Oh god, him.
DAVID
Yes, “oh god, him”! He was a cocksucker, sure, but he taught
me something I never forgot, and you shouldn’t either --
ELLA
I know, I know --
DAVID
You know he was one of those spiritual, Zen-crazy, windbags --
ELLA
(laughs)
Like Trudie!
DAVID
(chuckling)
Exactly! Like your Aunt Trudie (the sanctimonious sow) --
ELLA
-- hah! --
1/15/15
15.
DAVID
But brilliant.
ELLA
Of course.
DAVID
A brilliant playwright, god oh god....
ELLA
I know, I know --
DAVID
And my god, I couldn’t believe I got that job! I mean, can
you imagine? Me, a scrawny little knock-kneed Jewish boy from
Sheepshead Bay, with acne and a s-s-s-st-stutter!
ELLA
(giggling)
Oh god...!
DAVID
The only job I’d ever had was in a cat food factory!
Seventeen years old, a straight-D student, raised by a
Russian widower who only wanted a son who would --
(as his father; Russian
accent)
-- “make him proud” --
ELLA
(empathetic)
Oh, Dad....
DAVID
accent)
“A real American boy” --
(dropping the accent)
-- who could play catch with his old man like the other kids
on the block, and study hard and get good grades, and go to
college! Be a doctor, be a lawyer, be a goddamn dental
hygienist, just as long as he wasn’t an artist.
ELLA
(heart breaking with
compassion)
Oh, Daddy...! Oh, Dad....
DAVID
accent)
“Hey son, you want to throw ball around?”
(dropping accent)
My pops would ask, as if to torment me. And I’d try!
1/15/15
16.
Oh god did I try. But it’s as if I had a magnetic energy that

repulsed the ball -- I’m telling you -- it went everywhere
except inside my mitt!
ELLA
Oh no! Oh no...!
DAVID
But Trudie! Oh, she could throw and catch like fucking Joe
DiMaggio! I swear I knew she’d grow up to be a dyke, that’s
how good her arm was.
ELLA
Dad....
DAVID
accent)
“I wish you mother could be alive today, to see the beautiful
woman you sister has become.”
Of course she wasn’t beautiful -- she looked like fucking
Karl Malden in a dress --
ELLA
(giggling naughtily)
Dad...!
DAVID
She did! I bet she still does!
ELLA
Okay....
DAVID
But at least she --
(Russian accent)
“made him proud.”
Studied hard, president of the debate team, editor of the
high school newspaper....
ELLA
Right -- right.
DAVID
(Little did he know at the time that she was a closeted
commie and a pothead!)
ELLA
Right -- surprise!
1/15/15
17.
DAVID
And my little sister Dopie -- just as sweet as could be:
never talked back, did her homework like a good girl, more
friends than any kid you ever saw....
ELLA
Awww... Dopie...!
DAVID
(a smile crossing his face as
he fondly remembers)
She used to dance around the house like Shirley Temple!
(sings)
“Animal crackers in my soup....”
(laughs)
Drove us crazy...!
(remembers)
The sweetest thing.... No matter how shitty things got --
when our mother died, when our pops whipped off his belt,
and....
(beat; he remembers)
She always had a smile, and a hug, and a....
Beat. He goes into a memory.
ELLA
Dad...?
DAVID
(coming back to the present
with a surge of energy)
And then there was me. Hah! Your famous dad: an antisocial,
asthmatic hermit who had a panic attack every time he opened
a textbook and spent all his time under the covers with a
flashlight, reading plays!
ELLA
(with real affection)
Yes! Yes...!
DAVID
But you know how I got through it all?
ELLA
How?
DAVID
You wanna know my secret?
ELLA
I do!
1/15/15
18.
DAVID
Well not a lot of people have the balls to say this, but I’ve
always said it -- I said it in my memoirs and I said it in
that thing I wrote for the New Yorker (which they butchered,
but still), and I said it to Charlie Rose, and I’ll say it to
you, now --
ELLA
Thanks, Dad!
DAVID
I always knew I was gonna be famous.
Beat.
ELLA
(blown away)
Wow.
DAVID
Seventeen years old, no friends -- my only friend was my kid
sister! --
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
-- and I’d read her scenes from my plays -- and Dopie was
only a kid (six, seven years old), but I could tell from the
look on her face: my stuff was good. It was better than good.
It was brilliant!
ELLA
It was -- it is!
DAVID
And that’s all you need -- one fan. It can be your goddamn
kid sister! You just need one voice -- one voice -- that’s
not in your own head -- one person who says: You’re it.
You’re a genius. You’re gonna be a star.
ELLA
Right....
DAVID
And that’s what I am for you, kid.
ELLA
Thanks, Dad. Thanks!
DAVID
Don’t ever forget it.
1/15/15
19.
ELLA
I won’t!
DAVID
I mean you’re lucky, girlie -- you got exposed to what you
love so young.
ELLA
I know.
DAVID
So many poor fuckers never find that thing that turns them on
-- that makes them tick, that makes the hell we have to
endure every day somehow -- hilariously, insanely,
senselessly! -- somehow worth it.
ELLA
It’s true.
DAVID
And boy was I lucky I grew up in the fifties, chickie! I mean
the theater wasn’t just for blue-haired ladies with hearing
aids back then!
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
When I was a kid, a ticket to a Broadway show was -- well
guess: how much do you think it cost to go see Mary Martin
play “Peter Pan”?
(sings)
“I’m flying...!”
ELLA
How much? How much?!
DAVID
The first Broadway production of “Waiting for Godot” with
Bert Lahr as Estragon?
(doing Bert Lahr as
“Estragon”)
“Nothing to be done.”
ELLA
How much? How much?!
DAVID
The original production of “West Side Story,” with lyrics by
an unknown Jewish kid from the Upper West Side named Stephen
Sondheim, at the Winter Garden theater, 1957?
(sings)
“When you’re a jet you’re a jet!”
1/15/15
20.
ELLA
(sings)
“Stick to your own kiiind....”
DAVID
(sings, devoutly)
“There’s a place... for us...”
ELLA
(sings, nearly weeping)
“Someday... Somewhere...!”
DAVID
It cost six dollars.
ELLA
(utter disbelief)
No.
DAVID
For the best seat.
ELLA
NO.
DAVID
You can’t imagine it, can you? Every Wednesday I’d skip out
of school after third period, take my wages from the cat food
factory, hop on the N express train at Flatbush Avenue, get
off at Times Square Forty-Second Street, and buy a ticket to
a matinee of any show I liked. That was my food, my
friendships, my romance, my joy.
ELLA
(enamored)
Wow...!
DAVID
And what a horror -- can you imagine?! -- to return on
Thursday to the drudgery and hell of my quotidian toil.
ELLA
Of course!
DAVID
(back into his story)
Well, I come home one night from the cat food factory and my
father’s there, sitting in the dark, a candle burning, and...
(portentously -- enjoying the
spinning of this yarn)
I know something’s up.
1/15/15
21.
ELLA
(enjoying the spectacle also)
Oh no. Oh no....
DAVID
(as his father, Russian
accent -- cold and severe)
“David, you listening?”
(as his stuttering adolescent
self:)
“S-s-s-ure,” I say --
accent)
“You better sit down,” my pops says, real quiet -- I’ll never
forget it -- and I sit, and he says, solemn as if someone’s
had a fucking heart attack: “David, you principal of you
school called. He say you been skipping class and doing god
knows what” -- it’s true, I was like Laura in the goddamn
“Glass Menagerie,” playing hooky on my typing classes ‘cause
I just wanted to play with my glass figurines, goddammit!
ELLA
(gleefully)
Goddammit! Godammit!
DAVID
accent)
“David, you have you head up you ass with you plays, with you
theater, with you writing. And now you being kicked out of
school.”
ELLA
(delighted)
Oh god...!
DAVID
And you know what he said next?
ELLA
What. What?!
DAVID
“And now... I kicking you out too.”
ELLA
(really sad)
Oh no!
DAVID
And you know what I did? You know what your silly old dad
did?
1/15/15
22.
ELLA
What. What?!
DAVID
I didn’t say a word -- I just went into my room, I grabbed my
knapsack and I just started throwing shit in it -- Dopie
screaming “Davey! Davey! Don’t go! Don’t go-o-o-o-o-o!”
ELLA
(heart breaking)
Oh my god...!
DAVID
And Trudie doing god knows what in the other room -- probably
smoking grass and playing with herself while reading Das
Kapital --
ELLA
-- hah! What a witch --
DAVID
And I jammed a few clothes and a toothbrush in my knapsack
and you know the one other thing I brought?
ELLA
(enraptured)
What. What?
DAVID
A book. My favorite book. A play. A play I’d read maybe
forty, fifty times: my worn, mint-green, Samuel French
edition of “My Brother Joe.”
ELLA
(deeply moved)
Oh... god...!
DAVID
By Milo fucking Koppler. And I split. And Dopie chasing me
down the street as I stormed towards the subway -- “Davey!
Davey!” And I shoved her off me -- “Get AWAY from me!” I
screamed...
(beat; he remembers)
I’ll never forget it....
Suddenly he seems as if he is
about to cry. He is lost in
thought, remembering.
ELLA
(concerned)
Dad...?
1/15/15
23.
DAVID
(bouncing back)
And I got off the train at Times Square Forty-Second Street --
I didn’t know why! Except where else was I to go? I had
nowhere to go -- not a friend in the goddamn world. My only
friends were -- you know who my friends were?
ELLA
Who? Who?!
DAVID
Comden and Green. Irving Berlin. Rodgers and Hammerstein.
ELLA
(enthralled)
Yes. Yes!
DAVID
Chekhov! Shakespeare! Ibsen!
ELLA
Tennessee Williams!
DAVID
Eh, a bit of a lightweight, but sure.
ELLA
Thornton Wilder?
DAVID
Hit or miss, but often fun.
ELLA
(great idea)
Clifford Odets!
DAVID
YES. And more than any of ‘em? Milo Koppler. ‘Cause here was
a guy like me: came from nothing, raised in Queens by
immigrant idiots who didn’t understand him and threw him out
on his ass (in his case it’s ‘cause he was a fairy, but
still) --
ELLA
-- Dad --
DAVID
-- don’t interrupt me! Still! The point is: he survived.
ELLA
Right. Right!
1/15/15
24.
DAVID
He survived, and then he went on to use that shit -- to use
all that shit from his miserable life and craft the most
perfect plays of the twentieth century!
ELLA
Yes. Yes!
DAVID
ELLA
What?
DAVID
The first time I saw “My Brother Joe.”
ELLA
Ohhh...!
DAVID
I was fourteen years old. Had just finished reading “Death of
a Salesman” for the very first time (I had to go to the
fucking Columbus Circle library to get a copy because you bet
your ass there wasn’t one in all of Sheepshead Bay...!)
ELLA
Hah! Right!
DAVID
And I thought -- oh Ella, of course I thought -- this guy,
this Arthur Miller -- this guy is it. You know? This play
is --
ELLA
(rapturous)
I know....
DAVID
Don’t interrupt me!
ELLA
(under her breath)
-- sorry --
DAVID
This play is... everything... I could want a play to be. This
Willy is... my pops...! This poor Linda is... my long-
suffering ma. And this brother! Biff! This is my sister...!
Trudie!
ELLA
Right!
1/15/15
25.
DAVID
(Conveniently she looks like a man, so there was no stretch
there.)
ELLA
(giggling)
Right...!
DAVID
And this sad, sad... Happy.... That was me.
(beat)
That was me....
ELLA
(in heaven; near tears)
Right....
A beat. David reflects. Then --
DAVID
But then --
ELLA
But then?
DAVID
I saw “My Brother Joe.”
ELLA
Yes?
DAVID
And I knew.
ELLA
You knew?
DAVID
Arthur Miller was a hack.
ELLA
(incredulous)
Dad...!
DAVID
Okay, not a hack, but Ella, come on! When you read “Death of
a Salesman” and you read “My Brother Joe,” the truth is so
clear it’s like a joke!
ELLA
A -- joke...?
1/15/15
26.
DAVID
Willy Loman can’t hold a candle to Joe Brodzinski!
ELLA
Right.
DAVID
Even the language Miller uses -- “Attention must be paid”?
Who talks like that?!
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
Just say -- “Pay attention”!
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
“Nobody dast blame this man.”
ELLA
What’s that?
DAVID
That’s a line! From the play!
ELLA
(incredulous)
From “Death of a Salesman”...?
DAVID
(nods)
In the requiem speech, Charley says about Willy: “Nobody dast
blame this man.”
ELLA
That’s... terrible....
DAVID
I know! And nobody talks about it. Nobody says: “Humans don’t
talk this way...!”
ELLA
(giggling)
Right....
DAVID
I mean if your goal is to put me -- to put us -- on a stage?
Then write like we talk.
1/15/15
27.
ELLA
Right...!
DAVID
Have your characters talk like humans! Like humans speak. In
the world!
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
And that’s what Koppler did. I’ll never forget it. The
curtain came up on the first act of “My Brother Joe” and as
soon as Adrian said that famous line:
DAVID ELLA
“Did you turn the heat up?” “Did you turn the heat up?”
DAVID
Exactly. I knew: This is me.
(beat; reflects)
This... is me.
A beat. David goes into a memory.
DAVID
I saw that play sixteen times....
A beat.
ELLA
Dad...?
DAVID
(bouncing back)
So you know what I did? You know what your silly old dad did?
ELLA
(on the edge of her seat)
What?
DAVID
A terrified seventeen-year-old boy alone in the world in the
middle of Times Square at ten-thirty at night, with only a
knapsack full of rags to my name?
ELLA
What?!
DAVID
I found a phone booth and I picked up the phone book --
1/15/15
28.
ELLA
(loving this story)
-- oh no, oh no! --
DAVID
-- oh yes, oh yes! -- and not even conscious of what I was
doing, I flipped to the letter K, and -- holy shit -- there
he was!
ELLA
No!
DAVID
(as his seventeen-year-old
self)
“H-h-h-h-hello, is this the office of the g-g-g-g-great
American dramatist Milo K-k-k-k-Koppler?”
ELLA
Oh god!
DAVID
(as Koppler; Queens accent)
“This ain’t his office, it’s his home! And you’re waking him
up!”
ELLA
(delighted)
Oh NO!
DAVID
(equally delighted)
Oh YES!
(knock-kneed adolescent David
again:)
“Um, w-w-w-w-well my name is David Bergenstein” (this was
before I changed my name) --
ELLA
-- right, right --
DAVID
-- and then I heard myself say something-- (to this day, I
don’t know why I said it -- I swear it’s as if someone else
said it!) -- I said “My name is David Bergenstein, and --
DAVID ELLA
I am your successor.” “I am your succesor,” right.
Beat.
DAVID
Oh, you know this story?
1/15/15
29.
ELLA
What? No.
DAVID
I’ve told it before?
ELLA
(starting to panic)
Maybe once or twice -- maybe I read it in an interview
somewhere. Keep telling it -- keep telling it! I love it. I
love it...!
He gets up to empty the ashtray.
DAVID
(cold)
I won’t bore you.
He bangs the ashtray against the

trash can to empty it.
ELLA
(desperate)
No -- no, tell it, tell it! You have to, Dad! I love your
stories...!
She pours him another glass of

wine.
He looks at the glass. A beat.

Then --
He returns to the table with the

ashtray.
ELLA
(terribly relieved)
Here. Here....
She hands him the glass. He takes

a big sip.
He lights a new cigarette.
DAVID
So: it turns out, Koppler tells me -- my idol tells me! --
that the next day he’s going into rehearsals for his new
Broadway show --
ELLA
-- oh god! --
1/15/15
30.
DAVID
-- and he tells me that it must be a “Higher Power” that I’m
calling, because he needs an assistant!
ELLA
No. NO!
DAVID
Yes. YES!
(as Koppler)
“Will ya work for nothing?”
(as adolescent David)
“Of-of-of course I will!” I stammer, “B-b-b-but--”
(as Koppler)
“Spit it out, boy!”
(adolescent David; pathetic,
almost in tears)
“I-I-I-I-I have nowhere to s-s-s-s-s-staaaaaay...!
ELLA
(rapt)
You. Did. Not.
DAVID
I kid you not, girlie, your old man started bawling on the
phone with this -- this god!
ELLA
(loving this)
Oh my god!
DAVID
There I was -- a deflated balloon of a boy, crying my little
eyes out on the corner of Forty-Eighth and Broadway like a
colicky toddler with diaper rash.
ELLA
Jesus. Christ.
DAVID
You said it! Jesus CHRIST! And you know what he said (the old
queen)?
ELLA
(Dad!)
DAVID
(What!? He was an old queen!) He said, “Take the train to
West Fourth Street, and I’ll meet you there.”
ELLA
Wow.
1/15/15
31.
DAVID
And when I climbed up those stairs, out of the subway -- like
fucking Orpheus ascending from the jaws of Hades, there he
was -- Marlon Brando meets Ernest Hemingway (I mean, who knew
a nancy could look like such a matinee idol!) --
ELLA
(under her breath)
-- Dad! --
DAVID
(ignoring her)
-- my idol, my hero, my savior: Milo Koppler, in the flesh.
A beat. Then --
ELLA
Wow. Wow....
DAVID
And then he took me back to his place and he raped me.
ELLA
Dad!
DAVID
Just kidding! But that was the beginning -- right away he
offers me a cigarette, and I think: “This guy -- this guy I
could get to like!”
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
And we smoke and we walk and we talk -- I never met a man so
curious, it was like the fucking Spanish Inquisition, all the
questions that fairy asked me!
ELLA
-- Dad --
DAVID
And we get back to his place, and I’m telling you, El, this
apartment was unlike anything I’d ever seen -- I mean I had
no idea people lived like this! In New York City! A duplex on
MacDougal Street with exposed brick and high ceilings and an
eat-in kitchen. An eat-in kitchen! I thought, “This guy’s got
it made! He can eat in his own kitchen!”
ELLA
(laughs)
Right!
1/15/15
32.
DAVID
(gesturing around him)
And look at me now!
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
We can eat in here all day long!
ELLA
(giggling)
Right...!
DAVID
And I’m looking around this -- this palace, and I say, “Is
your wife at home?”
ELLA
Hah!
DAVID
I mean I didn’t know! I didn’t know anything about this guy,
of course -- except that he’d written the most perfect play I
could ever imagine -- and... you know, such a big apartment,
I just assumed....
ELLA
Of course!
DAVID
And he looked at me. And he took a beat. And then he said:
“I’m not married.”
ELLA
Wow....
DAVID
And Ella -- oh my god. The way he said it. I just knew.
ELLA
You knew...?
DAVID
I knew. He was Joe.
ELLA
Ohhh....
DAVID
In his youth, I mean. This tragic, brilliant... tortured
queer who could pass as straight but who knew... who knew...
he was a walking lie.
1/15/15
33.
ELLA
Oh god. Oh god....
DAVID
And then I think: “Jesus! I hope he doesn’t make a pass at
me...!”
ELLA
(giggling)
Right...!
DAVID
But he doesn’t, of course. He just says (so polite): “You
want anything to drink?” And I say, “Well sure! I’ll take a
Scotch on the rocks.” And he says (the old bastard), “I don’t
keep alcohol in the house.” Well this I couldn’t believe.
“Why not?!” I ask. “I don’t drink anymore,” he says.
“I’ve been sober for eleven years.” Well of course I have no
fucking clue what he’s talking about, but I don’t say
anything -- I just let him pour me a seltzer, plop a wedge of
lime in there and make one for himself, and I think, “This
guy... this guy is weird!”
ELLA
Yeah!
DAVID
And the next day he brings me to the first rehearsal for his
new Broadway show, “Pigs and Promises.”
ELLA
Oh my god, that was “Pigs and Promises”?!
DAVID
(grinning)
It sure was, and just like that -- like fate had ordained it -
- I became his roommate, his protegé, his assistant.
ELLA
Jesus christ.
DAVID
And his lover.
ELLA
Dad!
DAVID
Just kidding! Anyway, the next few weeks are a blur -- my job
is to sit next to my hero and just absorb -- absorb...!
Occasionally I’m getting him a coffee or running out for some
smokes, but mostly I’m just sitting there agog --
1/15/15
34.
ELLA
-- oh god --
DAVID
-- and when we’re not rehearsing we’re staying up late,
smoking and laughing and not drinking, okay, but just talking
-- talking about the play. Talking about his play! This
genius, asking me what I think about this line, what I think
about this scene, what I think...!
(laughs)
And I let him know! I give him suggestions! And he takes
‘em...!
ELLA
(nearly swooning)
Oh wow...!
DAVID
I know! And the whole thing’s a dream, of course...
(beat)
But there’s a problem.
ELLA
(on the edge of her seat)
Oh no.
DAVID
(nods, darkly)
There’s this one guy in the cast who’s a fucking pest --
ELLA
Oh no!
DAVID
The guy playing Uncle Seymour --
ELLA
-- that’s a great part! --
DAVID
-- I know! And he’s this over-the-hill, tubby little
character actor named Sidney Crumm, and this numbnut’s always
saying things like: “Koppler, my character wouldn’t say that,
Koppler what motivates this? Koppler, I don’t buy these given
circumstances,” fucking bullshit faggoty drama queen crap --
ELLA
Dad....
DAVID
What?! He was acting like a fucking faggot!
1/15/15
35.
ELLA
Okay....
DAVID
You kids are so fucking precious with your language, today!
You need to lighten up --
ELLA
Okay.
DAVID
Calling someone a faggot doesn’t mean they’re a faggot -- it
means they’re acting like a faggot.
ELLA
Okay....
DAVID
So we tell this fucking faggot we’re not changing the text --
the text is the text.
ELLA
Right.
DAVID
So now it’s Opening Night, and this is back when the critics
all came Opening Night --
ELLA
-- oh god--
DAVID
-- and me and Koppler, we can’t sit! I’d never seen the guy
so keyed up...! We’re standing in the back of the Lunt-
Fontanne, sweat pouring down our mugs like we’re both about
to get fucked for the very first time!
ELLA
Of course!
DAVID
And the show’s going great -- I mean, like a song! It hums,
it purrs, it slides with effortless elegance like a fucking
Rolls Royce on an empty road...!
ELLA
(entranced)
Wow...!
DAVID
And me and Koppler, we’re not even breathing -- we’re just in
it, you know -- both of us, together -- just watching and
listening and thinking -- “Please, please, let this last!
1/15/15
36.
Please let this never stop! Please let them like it! Please,
oh please...!”
ELLA
Oh god, oh god...!
DAVID
And the curtain’s about to go down at the end of Act One, and
right before it does, Uncle Seymour has that monologue (you
know the one), about his sister and her baby? And the
stillbirth, and how he ran away?
ELLA
Of course.
DAVID
And Sidney Crumm launches into that monologue -- I mean this
beautiful, flawlessly crafted, fucking wrenching monologue
(which would turn out to be one of the most famous
soliloquies of the twentieth century) --
ELLA
-- I know! --
DAVID
-- and Crumm falls to his knees, and he mops his brow, lifts
his stubby little arms to the heavens --
ELLA
-- oh no --
DAVID
-- and me and Koppler turn to each other, chills running down
our spines, our extremities tingling, the blood draining from
our faces, because of course we’re both thinking the same
thing --
ELLA
(delighted)
-- oh no! --
DAVID
“That wasn’t in the blocking.”
ELLA
OH. NO!
DAVID
...and the son-of-a-bitch launches into an improvised
monologue that he fucking rips out of his own pathetic,
smarmy, hairy asshole that goes on for -- I kid you not --
seven minutes.
1/15/15
37.
ELLA
(a bloodcurdling scream)
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
DAVID
And of course there is nothing we can do! We are just...
powerless. Powerless! All we can do is stand there and watch
as the nightmare unfolds, and feel our souls freeze over and
just die -- just die! -- inside.
ELLA
(deeply empathetic)
Of course!
DAVID
I mean, this play that I knew inside and out -- this play
that was sacred to me! This play that I worshipped! This play
that was my....
(beat; reflects)
And this fucking hack just mutilates it in front of my
eyes...!
ELLA
(with deep empathy)
I know...!
DAVID
I felt like fucking Abraham, blindly leading his only son to
slaughter...! Raskolnikov, rotting to death in a Siberian
prison in pointless atonement...! Or Hamlet! Accepting the
poisoned tip of his best friend’s blade into his soft,
defenseless guts...! “This is the end,” I thought, “this is
it: how it all falls apart.”
ELLA
(softly)
Oh... god....
A beat. He remembers. Ella

watches him, pained.
DAVID
(shaking his head; muttering,
almost to himself...)
“Nothing to be done.... Nothing to... be... done....”
A beat. Then --
1/15/15
38.
DAVID
(back to Ella)
And the curtain falls and I turn to my boss, the great Milo
Koppler -- I mean I can barely speak, I’m so boiled up -- and
I say: “Boss, I’m gonna fucking knock his lights out, I swear
to god --” I mean all ninety pounds of me, right? -- but I
would, you know? For this guy. For this play....
ELLA
Of course...!
DAVID
And Koppler turns to me, and I see, suddenly... he’s not
sweating anymore.... He looks almost calm -- tranquil even,
almost... serene.... His eyes have a -- a stillness. He
almost seems like he’s... smiling.
ELLA
(bewildered)
What...?
DAVID
And he says to me, you know what he says? “Ya know what, son?
Ya know what we gotta do?”
ELLA
(enraptured)
What...?!
DAVID
“Pray for him.”
ELLA
(baffled)
What?!?
DAVID
“He’s sick,” Koppler says. “He’s suffering. He’s in pain.
Let’s pray for him. He deserves our prayers.”
Beat. Ella is agape.
DAVID
And with that he turns around and walks away, out the door of
the theater and down the block toward Sardi’s. I don’t even
know if he watched the second act!
ELLA
...what the...? What...?
DAVID
I know.
1/15/15
39.
ELLA
Why?
DAVID
I know! I stood there dumbfounded -- how could he be so
blasé?! This was his baby!
ELLA
Right!
DAVID
How could he not stand up and fight for it?! Go backstage and
knock that guy around! Give him a piece of his mind! Make him
pay -- make him pay!
ELLA
I know! I know!
DAVID
And then a thought crossed my mind -- you know what I
thought?
ELLA
(hanging on his every word)
What. What?
DAVID
I thought, “You know what, Koppler? You’re right, buddy. I am
gonna pray for him. And you know what else? You know what I’m
gonna do next? I’m gonna get on my fucking knees, and I’m
gonna pray for you, you traitor. I’m gonna pray for you so
hard I’m gonna make my knees bleed. That’s what I’m gonna do
for you, you dickless pussy.”
ELLA
Oh wow...!
DAVID
(a growl)
And I left the theater and I walked all the way to MacDougal
Street and I packed up my stuff and I split. And I never saw
that cocksucker ever again.
ELLA
Oh god...!
DAVID
(bringing it all home)
And that’s what you’ve gotta say to these fucking critics,
Ella! “You’re gonna be number one in my prayers tonight,
buddy!” That’s what you’ve gotta say -- because you’ve got to
pity them --
1/15/15
40.
ELLA
(it’s all sinking in)
Ohhhh....
DAVID
Pine for them. Weep for them. Pray for them.
ELLA
Right.
DAVID
Because you know what they are?
ELLA
What?
DAVID
They’re sick. Like Koppler said -- “Sick. Suffering. Pray for
them.”
ELLA
(pensive)
Right....
DAVID
And then kick ‘em in the balls and tell them to go fuck
themselves!
ELLA
(laughing)
Right -- right!
DAVID
He didn’t mean it like that, of course, but that’s what I
made of it, and that’s what I’ve done my whole life -- my
whole career -- that’s how I’ve made a name for myself --
ELLA
How? How?
DAVID
I take the bullshit people feed me and I make it my own.
ELLA
(deeply struck)
Wow.
(blown away)
Wow.
He extinguishes his cigarette.

Takes a cigarette out of his
pack.
1/15/15
41.
She goes for her pack, sees it’s

empty.
ELLA
Oh.
DAVID
What.
ELLA
I’m all out.
DAVID
Oh.
ELLA
Can I have... one of yours...?
Beat.
DAVID
I’ve only got one left.
ELLA
Oh.
DAVID
Sorry.
ELLA
It’s cool.
DAVID
Uch -- I hate how you kids say, “It’s cool....”
He lights his cigarette. He

suddenly seems very drunk.
DAVID
As if I thought it wouldn’t be fucking cool! Hah. You’ve
gotta learn to use language better, or you’re never gonna be
a good writer.
ELLA
I’m not a writer....
DAVID
(erupting)
Don’t SAY that! Goddammit. You’re a great writer! You’ve just
gotta write some shit.
ELLA
Okay....
1/15/15
42.
He smokes. She drinks some wine.
A beat. Then --
ELLA
(delicately)
Trudie’s a writer... right...?
Beat.
DAVID
I guess.
Beat.
ELLA
Have you read her --
DAVID
Who cares.
Beat.
ELLA
When was the last time -
DAVID
Who cares.
A beat. Then --
ELLA
(plucking up some courage)
Dad...?
DAVID
What.
ELLA
Did you ever... regret it...?
DAVID
What?
ELLA
Walking out...?
DAVID
What?
ELLA
(mustering more courage)
Did you regret... leaving Koppler?
1/15/15
43.
(beat)
Since the show turned out to be... such a hit...?
He stares at her, his eyes

glassy. For a moment it seems as
if he possibly hasn’t heard
her...
A beat. Then --
DAVID
What kind of a fucking question is that?
ELLA
(scared)
I -- I’m sorry.
DAVID
Does it look like I’m suffering now?
ELLA
...no...?
DAVID
Does it look like I have any goddamn “regrets”?!
ELLA
No...!
DAVID
You think I “regret” walking out of my father’s house at
seventeen? Escaping his abuse? You think I lie awake at night
crying about it? “Boo hoo hoo!”? How I never saw him again,
piece of shit that he was?! How I mailed back his letters --
every one of them -- unopened?! You think I’m pining over
that epic mistake?
ELLA
(near tears)
N-no....
DAVID
And Dopie? You think I “regret” leaving her? You think I knew
when I walked out -- when I told her to get lost on the
corner of Coney Island Ave and Avenue Z -- you think I knew
that six months later, she’d get hit by a fucking B68 bus
because my father was too hung over to take her to school?!
You think I fucking planned all that?!
ELLA
Of course not! No!
1/15/15
44.
DAVID
You think I “regret” telling Trudie to go fuck herself? After
she blamed Dopie’s death on me?! After she wrote a fucking
book about it?! About me?!? You think I “regret” keeping that
cunt out of my life?! And yours?!?
ELLA
No, Dad. No!
DAVID
(venomous)
Every thing I did -- every decision I made -- led me right
here -- right to this moment, here with you. You think I
“regret” having you?
ELLA
(nearly crying; terrified)
I -- I don’t kn-o-o-ow...!
DAVID
I regret nothing. Do you know why?
(grabs her chin; spitting the
words)
Do you know why?
ELLA
(crying)
N-no...!
DAVID
(yanking her head by the
chin)
Because it gave me my play.
(lets go of her chin)
If I hadn’t done all that -- if none of that shit had ever
happened? I never would’ve written “The Battle of Long
Island.” I never would’ve won the Pulitzer, two Tony’s...! I
never would’ve gone on to write “Gavalt”! Or “Mr. Feingold”!!
Or “Four Questions”!!! Goddammit, I never would’ve gotten a
fucking Academy Award --
ELLA
(under her breath)
-- nomination.
Beat.
DAVID
What.
Beat.
1/15/15
45.
ELLA
“Nomination,” I said -- the Academy Award... nomination --
I’m agreeing with you....
He stares at her.
A beat. Then --
DAVID
All right, fine. “Nomination.” Jesus.
Beat.
DAVID
What are you, a fucking fact checker?
Beat.
ELLA
(softly)
I’m sorry.
DAVID
Smartass.
ELLA
I’m sorry...!
DAVID
Forget it.
Beat.
ELLA
(trying not to cry)
You should’ve won...!
Beat.
DAVID
(icy)
“It’s cool.”
He BANGS the ashtray, hard,

several times against the trash
can, to empty it. He keeps
BANGING it, aggressively, long
after he needs to.
He stops.
A beat.
1/15/15
46.
He stands there, hunched over the

trash, panting.
Ella tries not to cry.
ELLA
Dad? I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry....
David stands there; says nothing.
ELLA
Come on Dad, have one more glass of wine with me.
She pours him another glass of

wine and holds it out to him.
ELLA
Come on, Dad -- please...!
He looks at her.
A beat. Then --
DAVID
I think you’ve had enough to drink.
Beat.
ELLA
What?
DAVID
You get nasty when you’re drunk.
ELLA
(bewildered)
I do...?
DAVID
You need to learn how to hold your liquor.
ELLA
Okay.
DAVID
You’ve gotta do what I do. Set your limit -- three drinks.
And then have maybe one or two more. And that’s it.
ELLA
Okay....
David gets up.
1/15/15
47.
DAVID
You wanna be an adult? You’ve gotta drink like an adult.
ELLA
Okay...!
David crosses to a cupboard.
DAVID
You’ve gotta know when it’s time to stop.
David opens the cupboard and

retrieves a small bong. Carries
it over to the table. Sits down.
He lights it. He inhales. He

holds the pot in his lungs.
A beat. Then -- he exhales.
DAVID
Oh yeah. Oh yeah....
ELLA
Can I have a hit?
DAVID
If you say you’re sorry.
ELLA
I’m sorry.
He takes another hit.
DAVID
Say it like you mean it.
ELLA
I’m sorry. I’m sorry...!
He takes another hit.
DAVID
Eh, I’m not buying it....
ELLA
I’m sorry, Dad -- I’m sorry...! Please, Dad -- please...!
He hands her the bong.
DAVID
Don’t get too stoned.
1/15/15
48.
ELLA
Thank you. Thank you...!
She lights the bong and inhales.
A beat. Then -- she exhales.
DAVID
You’ve gotta hold it in longer.
ELLA
I know. I know.
They pass the bong back and

forth, and smoke, in silence.
A beat. Then --
DAVID
You’re my little dumpling. You know that, right?
Ella starts to cry.
DAVID
Ohhh....
Ella cries.
DAVID
Ella....
Ella cries.
DAVID
Ella...!
ELLA
(crying, hard)
I love you, Dad.
DAVID
Come here.
David pats his lap.
Ella gets up and sits on his lap.
He rocks her.
He kisses her head.
DAVID
You remember the game we used to play when you were
little...? When you would get out of the bathtub...?
1/15/15
49.
Ella smiles through her tears.
ELLA
Turtle....
DAVID
(deeply affectionate,
stroking her hair)
That’s right. Turtle...! You would be all tiny and naked and
wet, and I would wrap you in a towel and throw you on the bed
and roll you around! And you’d pretend to be a turtle inside
your shell....
Ella cries and laughs.
DAVID
“Where’s my turtle?!” I’d say. “I can’t find her!
He tickles her. She giggles.
DAVID ELLA
“She’s hiding in her “She’s hiding in her
shell...!” shell...!”
He tickles her. She squirms

laughs and, through her tears.
DAVID
You loved that game.
Beat. She beams at him.
ELLA
I love you so much.
David’s eyes mist over. He

strokes her hair.
DAVID
My baby. My baby....
ELLA
I don’t want you to die. Ever.
DAVID
I’m not going to. I never will.
ELLA
(very scared, suddenly)
I can’t live without you...!
1/15/15
50.
DAVID
(stroking her hair)
Well, that’s the beauty of being famous, Ella. You get to
live forever!
ELLA
I’m trying. I’m trying...!
Beat.
DAVID
Get off.
ELLA
What?
DAVID
Get off my lap. My leg’s falling asleep.
ELLA
Oh. Sorry.
Ella gets off his lap. She sits

back down in her chair. David
puts out his cigarette.
A beat. Then --
DAVID
Do you think it’s time? Do you think it’s time...?
ELLA
Oh! I don’t know.....
DAVID
(sing-song)
I think it’s time. I think it’s tiiiiime....!
ELLA
I’m scared...!
DAVID
I know, I know. Just remember: they’re sick and suffering.
ELLA
(apprehensive)
Okay.
DAVID
Pray for them.
1/15/15
51.
ELLA
(very nervous)
Okay.
DAVID
Give me your phone.
ELLA
(terrified)
Okay....
Ella reaches into her pocket and

pulls out her iPhone. She hands
it to David.
He presses a button.
DAVID
You have to unlock it!
ELLA
Sorry.
He hands her back the phone. She

types something in. Hands it back
to him.
He types something into the

phone.
DAVID
It’s loading. It’s loading....
ELLA
(dying with anticipation)
Oh god....
DAVID
Do you know who it was?
ELLA
Who what was? What?
DAVID
(impatient)
Which critic it was? From the Times.
ELLA
Oh! I don’t know....
DAVID
(incredulous)
You don’t know?!
1/15/15
52.
ELLA
I’m sorry...!
DAVID
You’ve gotta know these things, Ella -- what’s wrong with
you?! Jesus....
(re: the web page on the
iPhone)
Cocksucking christ, why’s it taking so long?! Okay, here it
is.
ELLA
Oh god. Oh god....!
DAVID
(reading)
Sh. Shhh...!
Beat.
Beat.
He reads. He scrolls.
Beat.
ELLA
(dying with anticipation)
What’s it say...?
DAVID
(reading; scrolling)
Hold on. Hold on!
ELLA
(a terrified whisper)
I can’t...!
DAVID
Man up. Man up!
ELLA
I’m sorry!
Beat.
DAVID
(reads)
Huh. Huh....
ELLA
What...?!
1/15/15
53.
David scrolls on the phone. He

reads. He reads.
DAVID
Yes. Yes....
ELLA
Is it good?!
DAVID
Shut up!
David reads. He scrolls. He

reads. He reads.
Ella holds her breath.
David reads. He scrolls. He

reads. He reads.
He finishes.
DAVID
Okay.
ELLA
What’s it say? What’s it say?!
DAVID
It’s good.
ELLA
It is? It is?!
DAVID
Yes.
ELLA
What else. What else?!?
DAVID
He liked it.
ELLA
Oh god. Oh god...!
DAVID
It’s a rave.
A tiny beat. Then --
ELLA
(almost orgasmic)
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!
1/15/15
54.
Ella jumps up and down.
David laughs.
Ella runs over to him and hugs

him.
He hugs her back.
DAVID
(softly, stroking her hair)
He rocks her.
She cries.
ELLA
I’m so relieved...!
DAVID
I know you are. I know you are....
ELLA
Oh god...!
DAVID
Sit down. Sit down....
ELLA
What...?
DAVID
(darkly)
There’s something else. There’s something else....
She sits.
ELLA
(panicking)
What is it?!?
A beat. Then --
DAVID
It’s a rave... for her.
A beat.
Silence.
A beat.
Deadly.
1/15/15
55.
A beat.
Then --
ELLA
(crushed)
Oh god.
DAVID
(also crushed)
I know.
ELLA
(in agony)
Oh god....
DAVID
(in agony, too)
I know....
Ella starts to cry.
ELLA
Am I mentioned... at all...?
Beat.
DAVID
In parentheses.
She cries.
ELLA
Oh god...!
DAVID
(his heart breaking for her)
It’s okay....
ELLA
(just devastated)
It’s not!
DAVID
Yes it is!
ELLA
How...?!?
Beat.
DAVID
I don’t know....
1/15/15
56.
ELLA
(reaching for the phone)
Let me see it!
DAVID
You shouldn’t. You absolutely shouldn’t....
He hands her the phone.
She reads. She reads.
ELLA
(in despair)
Oh my god.
DAVID
(aching with compassion)
Sweetheart.
ELLA
Oh... my... god...!
DAVID
(watching her read)
Sweetheart....
She reads, breathless.
ELLA
(a mumble; scrolling)
Ohmygod... Oh my god...!
DAVID
It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean... anything...!
ELLA
Yes it does! Yes it does...!
DAVID
Well, that’s true. In a way, that’s true....
She puts the phone down.
ELLA
(beginning to have trouble
breathing)
Oh my god. Ohmygod.
DAVID
Are you all right?
1/15/15
57.
ELLA
(hyperventilating)
I can’t breathe...!
DAVID
Here.
David pours her another glass of

wine. He brings the glass to her
lips.
DAVID
Drink this.
Ella gulps it down.
She drinks it like it’s water.
David strokes her hair as she

drinks.
DAVID
Good. Good....
Ella gulps the wine.
David strokes her hair.
She finishes drinking. Puts the

glass down. She pants. Her eyes
water. She stares at the glass.
DAVID
(stoking her hair; gently)
This is all material, you know. For when you write your first
play.
ELLA
(barely audible croak)
Dad....
DAVID
What?
ELLA
I don’t... want to... write a play....
He strokes her hair.
DAVID
(sweetly)
You say that now.
1/15/15
58.
She takes one last sip of wine.

She drains the glass. Puts the
glass down. She pants. She pants.
DAVID
How do you feel?
ELLA
I feel... tired. I feel... so tired....
DAVID
It’s okay. It’s okay....
David reaches into his pocket and

pulls out a baggie of cocaine.
He empties some coke onto the

table.
ELLA
Oh good. Oh good...!
DAVID
Just hold on. Just holllllld onnn....
ELLA
(desperately grateful)
Thank you. Thank you....
David takes out his wallet and

removes a MetroCard and a dollar
bill. Throws the dollar bill at
Ella, who starts to roll it up,
as David starts cuts up the
cocaine with the MetroCard.
DAVID
Here we go. Heeeere we go-o-o-o-o-o....
ELLA
(slurring her words a bit)
Thankyousomuch. Thank you, thank you....
He sings to Ella as he cuts up he

coke.
DAVID
(sings)
“An ordinary day becomes a holiday...
When I’m with you....
I have lots of toys but I don’t want to play...
When I’m with you.... “
He finishes cutting up the coke.
1/15/15
59.
DAVID
(cutting her off)
Okay, here you go -- you go first.
ELLA
(genuinely moved by his
generosity)
Thanks, Dad. Thanks.
Ella bends down and snorts a line

of coke. She leans back and
breathes in. Her eyes water.
DAVID
Is it good?
She hands the rolled-up bill to

her dad.
ELLA
Yeah.
David bends down and snorts a

line of coke. He leans back and
breathes in. His eyes water.
DAVID
Oh yeah. Oh yeah...!
ELLA
That’s good. That’s good...!
DAVID
Oh my god. Oh my god!
ELLA
I feel better. I feel better!!!
DAVID
Me too. Me too!!!
Ella snorts another line.
ELLA
Oh my god!
David snorts another line.
DAVID
Holy shit!
ELLA
Oh fuck!!!
1/15/15
60.
DAVID
Give me a hug.
Ella hugs him.
DAVID
Tighter. Tighter!
Ella squeezes tighter.
ELLA
UNNNHHH!
She releases. She hangs on him,

loosely. They start to sort-of
slow dance.
ELLA
I love you.
DAVID
I know.
ELLA
I love you.
DAVID
I know.
ELLA
I love you.
DAVID
I know.
ELLA
I love you.
DAVID
I know.
She pulls away from him.
ELLA
Say you love me too.
DAVID
I love you too.
ELLA
Say it like you mean it.
1/15/15
61.
DAVID
(kind of bouncing up and
down)
I love you too I love you too I love you too!!!
ELLA DAVID
(jumping up and down) (sing song-y)
I love you I LOVE YOU!!!!!! Iloveyoutoo! Iloveyoutoo!!!
We hear a WOMAN’S VOICE offstage:
VOICE
(OS)
GO TO BED!!!
They laugh.
ELLA DAVID
(manically) (manically)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
ELLA
(to David)
Mom!
DAVID
Hah!
ELLA
What an asshole!
DAVID
What a killjoy!
ELLA
(shouting offstage)
GO BACK TO BED, MOM!
DAVID
STOP RUINING OUR FUN!
They giggle uncontrollably.
MOM
(OS)
Go to bed! You’re keeping me up...!
ELLA
Just shut the door!
DAVID
Put some earplugs in!
1/15/15
62.
ELLA
Turn the TV on!
DAVID
And shut up!
ELLA
Yeah, shut up!!!
They crack up.
Sound of a door slamming

offstage.
DAVID
(whispers to Ella)
What a cunt...!
They giggle hysterically like

naughty teenagers.
David pours more wine into both

of their glasses.
DAVID
(musingly)
You look so much like her when she was your age. Before she
got... you know.
They laugh.
DAVID
But you have her talent ten-fold. Because you’re mine, too!
ELLA
(a side-splitting grin)
Thanks!
DAVID
She was never very good, anyway.
ELLA
Really?
DAVID
Oh sure. She really didn’t know what to do with her hands.
It’s no wonder she quit when she met me! She was scared. She
was weak. She shrank. She shirked. But you? Look at you.
You... go for it.
ELLA
(gooey with gratitude)
Thanks, Dad!
1/15/15
63.
He smiles at her. Then --
DAVID
But you gotta watch out.
ELLA
I do?
DAVID
Sure.
ELLA
Why?
DAVID
Because she’s jealous. Because everyone’s jealous. Jealous of
you.
ELLA
(very dark)
No.... They’re jealous of Clementine....
DAVID
(also very dark)
...Clementine...!
ELLA
(nearly crying again)
She’s the golden girl! Bertrand’s little favorite...! She has
the better part. She has the rave review. She has...
(near tears)
...everything...!
DAVID
Uch. Director’s pet. That no-talent twat -- she should be
jealous of you!
ELLA
HAH.
DAVID
I’m not kidding! Why are you laughing? She should!
ELLA
(incredulous)
Why?!
DAVID
Because she doesn’t have what you have, Ella! And she never
will.
ELLA
Oh...?
1/15/15
64.
DAVID
You.
ELLA
(misty-eyed)
Yes...?
DAVID
You’re a real artist.
She smiles. This means the world

to her.
ELLA
Thanks Dad.
(beat)
Thanks.
DAVID
ELLA
What...?
DAVID
The night I found out about you!
ELLA
Oh...!
DAVID
I’d told your mother, before we got married, I didn’t want
kids. I’d said the same thing to Celia, when I married her. I
was a middle-aged man when your mother and I met! And I knew,
you know, ‘cause of my rotten childhood, that I’d be a lousy
father. And your mother agreed. And then one night -- we were
in our old apartment in Park Slope -- and we were making
love, and she looked up at me, and her eyes filled with tears
-- and she was just a kid herself at the time, and beautiful,
back then -- and she said, so afraid: “David? I’m pregnant.”
And Ella, I would’ve thought I’d be... so angry. I would’ve
thought I’d hit the roof...! You know? But you know what I
did? I kid you not girlie -- I burst into tears...! Because I
was happy.
(beat; remembers)
Because I was happy....
ELLA
(deeply moved)
Oh Daddy. Dad....
1/15/15
65.
DAVID
(deeply moved, himself)
I... love... being a father. I had no idea. I had no idea...!
I’d love it. So much....
He touches her hand.
ELLA
I love you, Dad.
She clasps his hand.
DAVID
Your mother getting sick is the best thing that ever happened
to us.
ELLA
I know.
DAVID
It brought us closer!
ELLA
I know!
DAVID
And no one can take that away from us now.
ELLA
Right, Dad. Right.
DAVID
I’m gonna miss you.
ELLA
What do you mean? When...?
DAVID
When you grow up. When you move out.
ELLA
Ohhh....
DAVID
I’m gonna miss my little girl.
Ella starts to cry.
ELLA
Oh Dad...!
1/15/15
66.
DAVID
Come here.
She moves closer to him. Snuggles

up next to him.
He strokes her hair.
DAVID
(kisses her hand)
My beautiful genius baby....
ELLA
Oh Daddy. Oh Dad....
They look at each other.
A beat. Then --
DAVID
You have a big blackhead.
ELLA
Where? Where?
DAVID
In your cheek!
ELLA
(giggling)
Get it out. Get it out...!
David digs his nails into Ella

cheek.
DAVID
Ohhh... yeah...!
ELLA
Good. Good....
DAVID
Got it!
ELLA
Show me. Show me!!!
David holds out the tip of his

finger to her.
DAVID
Here.
1/15/15
67.
ELLA
Wow...!
DAVID
I know...!
ELLA
Let’s save it!!!
DAVID
Okay!
She takes the blackhead off his

finger and gingerly places it on
the table.
ELLA
Lemme do you! Lemme do you!!!
DAVID
(uneasy)
I don’t know....
ELLA
Please?! Please?!?
DAVID
(relenting with a chuckle)
Okay....
ELLA
(clapping her hands with
excitement)
Thank you!!!
She scans his face for

blackheads.
ELLA
I don’t see any....
DAVID
Oh really? Huh.
ELLA
Lemme see your back. Sometimes you have really big ones in
your back!
DAVID
(can’t believe he’s doing
this)
Oh god! Okay....
1/15/15
68.
They stand up. He lifts his shirt

up and turns around. She scans
his back for blackheads.
ELLA
(scanning)
Hm. Hmmm....
DAVID
(chuckling at the absurdity
of the situation)
Huh. Huh...!
ELLA
Oh my god. Oh. My. God...!
DAVID
(excited)
You found one?
ELLA
A huge one! A HUGE one!!!
DAVID
Well get it!
ELLA
(super excited)
Okay! Okay!!!
She digs her nails into his back.
DAVID
OW!
ELLA
(still digging)
I’m sorry. I’m sorry....
DAVID
It hurts!
ELLA
(digging, hard)
Well it’s deep! It’s deep....
DAVID
(pulling away)
Ow! Stop!
ELLA
(imitating him; playful)
“Man up. Man up!” You fairy! You pansy! You pussy!
1/15/15
69.
He pulls away.
DAVID
(cold)
What?
Beat. He pulls further away.
DAVID
(icy)
What?
Beat. He turns his back to her.
ELLA
(jovial)
It was a -- joke...!
He crosses to the table and picks

up the ashtray.
A beat.
ELLA
(scared; an attempt at humor)
Can’t you take a -- joke...?!
He crosses to the trash and BANGS

the ashtray against the trash can
to empty it. Hard. He bangs it
for a long time.
ELLA
(really worried now)
...Dad...?
He crosses back to the table,

picks up the wine bottle, and
begins to leave.
ELLA
(frantic)
Dad...!
Before he gets to the door --
DAVID
You know she’s fucking him, right?
Beat.
ELLA
Who?
1/15/15
70.
DAVID
(with a dark laugh)
You know who.
ELLA
Bertrand?!
(shakes her head -- can’t
comprehend)
Clementine and... Bertrand...?
DAVID
Of course!
ELLA
He’s married!
DAVID
So?!
ELLA
He’s sixty-three years old!
DAVID
(laughs)
Holy lord, you’re naive...!
ELLA
(thoroughly repulsed)
Why do you... think that? Why do you --
DAVID
Are you telling me you didn’t you see them tonight? On that
pathetic excuse for red carpet? In that dismal press line?
Are you telling me you’re blind? You have no eyes?! You
didn’t see how he put his hand on the small of her back when
they were being interviewed one New York One....
ELLA
(bewildered)
What...?
DAVID
And then later, when that joke of an artistic director was
delivering one of her endless speeches, you didn’t see how he
whispered something in Clementine’s ear and licked her
earlobe...?
Ella blanches.
ELLA
...what...?
1/15/15
71.
DAVID
(a big swig of wine from the
bottle)
A man doesn’t do that kind of thing unless he’s regularly
digging in a woman’s snatch.
He sits back down and lights a

cigarette.
He swigs from the bottle.
A beat. Then --
Ella suddenly RUNS over to the

trash can, clutching her stomach,
and DRY HEAVES into the trash.
David doesn’t react. He remains

still, staring ahead darkly,
blowing smoke rings. Swigging
from the bottle.
Ella dry HEAVES several times --

trying to vomit, but unable to.
She crouches on the ground, her

head over the trash can, panting,
spitting.
DAVID
(singing to himself)
“There’s a place... for us....
Somewhere... a place... for us....”
He thinks. He smokes. She heaves.
DAVID
(musingly)
You ever notice how when the 2/3 train takes off at Seventy-
Second Street, it sings those first three notes? Something
about how the wheels hit the tracks...?
(he sings them)
Dah... dah... dah....
(beat; smokes)
You ever notice that...?
She heaves.
DAVID
I wonder if I’m the only one who’s ever noticed that....
She spits one last time into the

trash can.
1/15/15
72.
Then -- she gets up and returns

to her seat, clutching her
stomach, almost doubled over in
pain.
ELLA
(clutching her head)
Oh my god! I had no idea....
DAVID
You’re so naive. You’re like a little girl....
ELLA
I’ll be better. I’ll be better.
DAVID
Good.
They sit in silence. Then --
David takes out the baggie of

coke and snorts a bump off his
pinkie nail.
He hands the bag to Ella and she

takes it without even looking up.
ELLA
(dead voice)
Thanks.
She snorts a bump off her pinkie

nail.
They rub cocaine residue from the

table on their gums.
A beat. Then --
ELLA
I feel depressed.
DAVID
I know.
A beat. Then --
ELLA
(tiny, scared voice)
Dad...?
DAVID
What.
1/15/15
73.
ELLA
Should I just...
DAVID
What?
ELLA
Should I just... give up...?
David stares at Ella.
A beat. Then --
DAVID
“Give up”?
ELLA
(tiny, terrified voice)
...yeah...?
DAVID
Is that a real question?
ELLA
I-I don’t know. Yeah...?
DAVID
How could you, Ella? What would you do?!
ELLA
Be a... doctor? Be a lawyer? Be a...
(with distaste)
...dental hygienist...?
DAVID
(with a vindictive laugh)
You’d be terrible at that!
ELLA
I know....
DAVID
You’d be terrible at -- any of those things...!
ELLA
I know...!
DAVID
You’re good at one thing, Ella. And it’s theater. It’s art.
That’s it. That’s it!
(beat)
And if you do anything else...? I’ll fucking kill you with my
bare hands.
1/15/15
74.
ELLA
Dad.
DAVID
Because you know what you’d be doing? If you quit?
ELLA
What.
DAVID
You’d be fucking yourself over.
ELLA
Okay.
DAVID
You’d be fucking me over.
ELLA
Okay....
DAVID
But worst of all? Worst of all, Ella? You’d be fucking the
American Theater over.
A beat. This sinks in.
ELLA
Really...? Really...?
DAVID
That’s how good you are, Ella. THAT’s why you can’t give up.
ELLA
(brightening)
Okay! Okay...!
DAVID
Do you want to fuck over Lanford Wilson?
ELLA
(with a smile)
No....
DAVID
(with a smile, too)
Do you want to fuck over August Wilson?
ELLA
(with a coy grin)
No...!
1/15/15
75.
DAVID
(playfully)
Do you want to fuck over Eugene O’Neill? Do you want to fuck
over EUGENE O’NEILL?!?
ELLA
(giggling uncontrollably)
No! NO...!
David laughs, too.
DAVID
Good. GOOD...!
They smile at each other. He

smokes.
A beat. Then --
DAVID
But you gotta get better parts.
Beat. He puts out his cigarette.
ELLA
(hangs her head)
I know....
DAVID
No more “Masha”’s for you.
ELLA
I know...
DAVID
Why they asked you to read Masha in the first place is beyond
me.
ELLA
I know...!
DAVID
You’re a NINA!
ELLA
I KNOW!
DAVID
You’d prepared Nina.
ELLA
I know.
1/15/15
76.
DAVID
I worked on it with you!
ELLA
I know, Dad. I know!
DAVID
Don’t get testy with me.
ELLA
Sorry.
A beat.
DAVID
I just don’t understand it....
ELLA
What...?
DAVID
You’re so talented.
ELLA
Thanks....
DAVID
You’re so smart.
ELLA
Thanks!
DAVID
You’re so interesting.
ELLA
Thanks!
DAVID
So how come you’re not a star?
Beat.
Beat.
Beat.
ELLA
(she falls into despair)
I don’t... know....
Ella hangs her head.
1/15/15
77.
DAVID
(musingly; sing-song)
It’s as raaandom and meaningless as the uuuuuuniverse.....
David lights a new cigarette.
DAVID
So you know what you gotta do?
Ella looks up.
ELLA
What?
DAVID
You need to take your career into your own hands, El.
ELLA
Okay.
DAVID
Do the fucking, and stop getting fucked.
ELLA
(confused)
Okay....
DAVID
Strap on a dick and fuck those cocksuckers ‘til they scream!
ELLA
But how...?!
David grins.
DAVID
Write your own goddamn play.
ELLA
Dad --
DAVID
You wanna be a star? Write your own goddamn play! And star in
it!
A beat. This sinks in.
ELLA
You think I could? You think I could...?
DAVID
I know you could. I know you could...!
1/15/15
78.
ELLA
(the idea really sinking in)
I could write a play.
DAVID
You could write a play.
ELLA
I could really write a play!
DAVID
You could really write a play!
ELLA
And star in it!
DAVID
And star in it!
ELLA
(giddy)
And it’ll be a hit!
DAVID
(with a proud smile)
And it’ll be a hit.
ELLA
(thrilled)
And I’ll be a star...!
DAVID
And you’ll be a star...!
(beaming with pride)
And you’ll be a star....
They laugh.
A beat. Then --
Ella stops laughing. She looks

suddenly very scared.
ELLA
But Dad...?
DAVID
(dreamily)
What...?
ELLA
(with real difficulty)
If I don’t...
1/15/15
79.
DAVID
What?
ELLA
If I don’t -- make...
DAVID
(very impatient)
What! Spit it out. What?!
ELLA
If I don’t make it?
(this is very hard for her)
Will you still love me...?
A beat.
He smokes.
She holds her breath.
He exhales.
She holds her breath.
He takes a sip of wine.
A beat.
A beat.
Then --
DAVID
I will always love you.
She exhales.
ELLA
Oh good! Oh good...!
DAVID
But I’ll be very disappointed.
Beat.
ELLA
(devastated)
Oh really...?
DAVID
Of course...!
1/15/15
80.
He puts out his cigarette. Gets

up and heads to the bathroom,
just offstage.
ELLA
(in despair)
Oh no....
She cries.
DAVID
(OS; singing the first three
notes of “Somewhere” again)
Dah...dah...dah....
A beat. She cries.
ELLA
I want you to be proud of me.
Beat. We hear him begin to PEE.
ELLA
I want you to think I’m doing great...!
Beat. He pees.
ELLA
Don’t you think I’m doing okay...?!?
Beat. He pees.
ELLA
(desperately -- manic)
I’m in a hit show off-Broadway! I’m Masha in The Seagull!
With a huge avant-garde director at the helm! We do the whole
play with no furniture -- just velvet floors and gossamer
curtains and wooden poles that we sanded ourselves! It’s
revolutionary! Dad! It’s a hit! It’s a hit!!!
The toilet FLUSHES. David comes

out of the bathroom.
DAVID
(reticent)
I know....
ELLA
But what...?!?
DAVID
(“isn’t it obvious?”)
You’re not Nina.
1/15/15
81.
She weeps.
DAVID
You’re not the star. You’re not a star....
She weeps.
ELLA
I tried. I tried...!
DAVID
Did you?
ELLA
I thought it was mine. I worked so hard -- remember? And I
walked to the audition and I knew -- I just knew that Nina
was mine! And then --
DAVID
And then.
ELLA
I saw her. In the waiting room.
DAVID
Yes.
ELLA
And I knew.
DAVID
You knew.
ELLA
I knew. It was hers.
DAVID
But no, but -- see! That’s your problem! Right there!!!
ELLA
What is?!
DAVID
You gave up!
ELLA
No! I still tried...!
DAVID
I don’t believe you. I don’t think you did.
ELLA
I did. I did!
1/15/15
82.
DAVID
You gave up. In your mind.
ELLA
(a desperate squeal)
I had no choice! She’s better than me!
DAVID
(a vicious hiss)
No she’s NOT, Ella! Don’t you ever think that! When you start
to think they’re winning?! That’s when you die!
Ella weeps.
ELLA
(sobbing into her hands)
...I know... I know...!
He smokes.
DAVID
I bet you didn’t even audition for Nina. I bet you saw her in
the waiting room and you just fucking surrendered, and you
went in for Masha. I bet. I bet....
She cries harder.
DAVID
Is that what happened?
She bows her head.
DAVID
Is it?
She is silent.
DAVID
IS IT?!
She is silent. Avoids his gaze.
He looks at her. Repulsed.
A beat. Then --
He starts to laugh.
DAVID
Hah. HAH! How’d I know. Howww’d I knnno-o-owwww....
He slowly stubs his cigarette

out. He grinds it into the
ashtray, hard.
1/15/15
83.
A long, long, terrible beat.
Ella weeps.
He is silent.
He lights another cigarette. He

smokes.
She cries.
DAVID
(darkly)
You know what this means, don’t you?
Beat. Ella is silent.
DAVID
You know what the lesson here is? Don’t you?
Beat. Ella is silent.
DAVID
(with a shrug -- it’s
obvious)
That she is better than you.
Beat.
ELLA
(tiny voice)
...what...?
DAVID
(eerily calm)
She went for it. She was brave. She had confidence. She had
guts. You were scared. You were weak. You shrank. You
shirked. She won. Congrats. You let her win. Hurray.
A beat. He smokes. She cries.
DAVID
(almost blasé)
Maybe you should just give up.
A beat. He smokes. She cries.
DAVID
(an indignant snarl)
Don’t bother writing a play. You’ll just fuck that up too.
ELLA
Dad....
1/15/15
84.
He smokes.
She looks at him.
He doesn’t look at her.
ELLA
Dad...?!
He smokes.
She looks at him.
He doesn’t look at her.
ELLA
(desperate)
Dad...!
She runs over to him and tries to

embrace him -- flings herself on
top of him, trying to get in his
lap. He resists this, trying to
push her away, but she is
forceful.
ELLA
Daddy! DAD!
DAVID
Get AWAY from me!
He SHOVES her off of him.
She falls to the floor.
She weeps on the floor.
He smokes, and looks darkly in

front of him, at nothing. She
cries softly on the floor. He
sings softly to himself.
DAVID
(sings)
“Someday... Somewhere....”
He smokes.
DAVID
(sing-song; almost cheerful)
“Nothing to be done....”
1/15/15
85.
She weeps hysterically on the

floor.
A beat.
Then --
She gets up.
She wipes her eyes, her face.
Then --
She leaves.
Silence.
David sits there, quietly

smoking.
David smokes in silence.
Many beats.
Then --
We hear footsteps approaching...
A beat.
Then --
Ella enters. She holds a

suitcase.
ELLA
I’m leaving.
DAVID
I know.
ELLA
Don’t call me.
DAVID
Okay.
ELLA
I hate you.
DAVID
Who cares.
Silence.
1/15/15
86.
She stands there.
He smokes, his back to her.
She looks at him.
A beat.
Then --
She leaves.
A beat.
We hear a door opening and then

slamming shut offstage.
David puts out his cigarette.
A beat. Then --
DAVID
Hmmm....
He pours himself a glass of wine.
DAVID
(pouring)
Hmmmmmmmmm....
(talking to himself; sing-
song)
What a night.... Whaaat a niiight....
(takes a sip of wine; laughs
to himself; sings)
“Toniiiiiight! Toniiight....”
He laughs to himself.
He starts to shake, ever so

slightly.
He BANGS the ashtray against the

trash can to empty it.
He bangs it over and over and

over. Hard. Violently.
He can’t stop.
He bangs.
Then --
1/15/15
87.
The ashtray CRACKS APART in his

hands.
DAVID
Oh god. Oh god...
He drops the shattered pieces of

the ashtray in the garbage. Looks
at his hands, which are now
BLEEDING.
He starts to shake.
DAVID
(starting to cry)
Oh god...! Oh god...!
He starts to sob. He gets on his

knees.
DAVID
(quietly)
Oh god. Oh God!
He weeps and sobs.
He clasps his bleeding hands in

prayer.
DAVID
(softly)
Oh, God please help me. God please help me!
He cries and cries.
Lights begin to fade.
DAVID
God please help me....
Lights continue to fade as he

repeats these four words in a
desperate, strangled whisper.
DAVID
God please help me! God please help me!!!
Lights fade.
We can barely see him.
DAVID
(a last, desperate plea)
God!
1/15/15
88.
Blackout.
END OF SCENE 1.
1/15/15
89.
SCENE 2
Five years later.
An intimate black box theater.

Late at night.
The set on stage is a replica of

the kitchen from Scene 1: the
same table, chairs, empty wine
bottles, overflowing ashtrays,
etc.
A ghost light stands center

stage.
We hear a WOMAN’S VOICE, OS.
VOICE
(OS)
See that’s what I’m talking about -- they’re ridiculous
questions.
The person behind the voice

emerges: ELLA. But we would
hardly know it -- she looks and
behaves almost like a different
person. The nervous giddiness we
saw in her before has been
replaced with a steely
assuredness. She carries herself
with aggressive confidence and
exudes an intimidating sex
appeal.
She is extremely well-dressed in

couture and heels. Her hair is
sleekly blown out, her makeup
flawless. She holds an expensive-
looking large purse. She talks on
her iPhone.
ELLA
No you don’t know, please - just let me finish.
She plants her purse down on the

stage and takes a seat as she
continues to hold court on the
phone.
ELLA
They’re the kind of questions posed by the kind of people who
are completely petrified of their own existence.
1/15/15
90.
People who would rather swallow a bottle of cyanide than sit

in a blackbox for ninety minutes and fucking learn something
about themselves, am I right? I mean, the kind of theater
these people want to see is something safe.
She removes a bottle of wine from

her bag -- a small bottle of red,
with a festive bow tied around
its neck. She sets the bottle
down on the stage.
ELLA
They want a kitchen sink family drama! Not a metatheatrical
one woman show in which I play twelve different characters
spanning three generations!
She removes a different bottle of

wine from her bag -- a bottle of
white.
ELLA
These people just want to see the same shit that’s been
regurgitated in the American theater for decades. I mean it’s
like Stockholm syndrome! They actually think at this point
that they like it! “Yes, please, more clichés!” “Please, more
predictable jokes!” “Please, more wistfully hopeful, well-
made endings! Please, oh please!”
She finds a glass.
ELLA
But that’s the one thing I can’t give them: something safe.
(takes a sip of wine)
I can give them pretty much anything but safe.
She pours herself a glass of

wine.
ELLA
(laughs a little)
I mean, I don’t mean to sound so self-important -- I get it,
I’m a solo performer, not Mother Teresa, but....
A beat. She listens to the person

on the other end of the phone.
Takes a sip of wine.
ELLA
No, but -- see! That’s not the point. Whether it’s
“autobiographical” or not is not the --
(beat)
1/15/15
91.
Okay, but what I’m saying is this: instead of asking yourself

“Is this play a factual retelling of real events that really
happened in real life?” Why don’t you ask yourself something
like this: “Did this play move me?” “Did I relate to it?”
“Did some part of me wish I hadn’t related to it?” These are
the kinds of questions that I want my audience to --
Beat. She hears something in her

phone.
ELLA
I’m sorry, I have another call. Can you hold?
She presses a button on the

phone.
ELLA
I’m on my way, Shelly -- I’ll be there as soon as I --
(beat)
Can you hear me?
(beat; she moves)
How ‘bout now.
(beat; she moves)
How ‘bout now?
(beat she moves)
How ‘bout now?!
(beat)
Okay great. I’ll be there as soon as I can.
(beat)
I thought it went okay. I mean, that last grandfather letter
and some of the Shirley Temple stuff still feels terrible and
I feel like a fucking hack when I'm doing it, but --
(beat)
A fucking hack? When I’m doing it?
(beat)
Nevermind, Shelly -- I’ll see you there soon. Oh, and tell
the photographers I’m on my way. Bye.

phone.
ELLA
Hi, are you still there?
(beat)
Oh great. I was worried I’d lose you because the service down
here is so terrible. Anyway, as I was saying: These are the
kinds of questions that I want my audience to --
Beat. She hears something in her

phone.
ELLA
I’m sorry, I have another call. Can you...? Thanks.
1/15/15
92.

phone.
ELLA
What do you want, you stupid fucking bitch?
(beat; then, laughs)
Just kidding! Hiiiiii...!
(beat)
Oh my god yes I got it -- you are soooooo sweet.
She picks up the small bottle of

red wine. Examines the label.
ELLA
Mmm... from Côtes du Rhône.... So yummm...!
She gets up and throws the bottle

of wine in the trash. Laughs at
something the other person is
saying.
ELLA
No, stop.
(beat; laughs)
No, stop...!
(beat; peeved, now)
No, actually stop, ‘cause I do have to run. I’m on the other
line actually with --
(beat)
Okay, great. Oh, and congrats on St. Louis! Regional theater
is so fun.
(beat)
Okay, you too, Clementine. Mwa mwa.

phone.
ELLA
Hi, are you still there? Okay, great. Now, as I was saying:
these are the kinds of questions that --
A beat. She hears something in

her phone.
ELLA
I’m so sorry, I have another -- thanks.
She presses a button on her

phone.
ELLA
What is it Shelly?
(beat)
Well, what the fuck are they gonna do?
1/15/15
93.
Leave the Opening Night party before I show up?! I’m the
writer, director and only actor in the play.
(beat)
No, I don’t want to know --
(beat)
Because I don’t read them anymore!
(beat)
I’m not kidding, Shelly -- even if it’s the best review
you’ve ever read? In your entire career as an agent? Ever? I
am truly not kidding. I don’t want to know.

phone.
ELLA
Hi, are you still there? Okay great. Here’s what I want to
say: the thing about my work -- the thing that’s --
(beat)
No, I wouldn’t say that --
(beat)
Because it’s not about him! It’s about --
(beat; a sudden eruption)
Don’t interrupt me.
(beat; attempting a more
measured tone)
I wouldn’t say that. We have a good relationship. We just
don’t speak.
A beat. She listens to the person

on the other end. Then --
ELLA
(sweetly)
I’m sorry, can you hold on just one minute?
She puts the phone down. Picks up

her glass of wine. Chugs. Chugs.
A beat. Then --
She picks up the phone.
ELLA
Thank you so much. Now. As I was saying: the thing about my
work -- the thing that’s always been true about my --
A beat. She listens. Then --
ELLA
(icy)
What kind of a fucking question is that?
(beat; venomous)
Does it look like I’m suffering now? Does it look like I have
any goddamn “regrets”?
1/15/15
94.
Every thing I did -- every decision I made -- led me right

here -- right to this moment, here with you. If I hadn’t done
all that -- if none of that shit had never happened? I never
would’ve written “In Parentheses”! I never would have --

phone.
ELLA
FUCK YOU SHELLY!

phone.
ELLA
I never would have --
(beat)
Oh. You do? Aw, that’s too bad. Are you sure you got
everything you need?
(beat)
Okay. Well. Great! And when do you think the article will
run?
(beat)
Oh, this Sunday. Amazing. And will I get approval of the
photo that you’re going to --
(beat)
Uh-huh. Okay. Great. And will it be above the fold? Or --
(beat)
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, I hope so, too. And --
(beat)
Hello?
(beat)
Hello?
She looks at her phone. Realizes

the call has ended.
ELLA
(muttering to herself)
God the service down here is terrible.
She puts her phone down; picks up

the bottle of wine and pours
herself a new glass.
She takes a sip of wine.
Rolls her shoulders back.
ELLA
Hmmm....
She takes a sip of wine. Rolls

her head around.
1/15/15
95.
ELLA
Hmmmmmmmmm....
A beat. Then --
She opens her purse. Begins to

rummage around inside. Sings to
herself as she does this.
ELLA
(sings; a little girl’s
voice)
“Animal crackers in my soup....”
She removes a small cosmetics

pouch. Takes out a compact.
Examines her face in the mirror.
ELLA
I look fucking terrible.
She begins to reapply her makeup.

She takes out an eyelash curler.
Curls her eyelashes.
As she does this, she talks out

loud to herself, running lines
from her show.
ELLA
(Russian accent)
“My darling son. Hello, again. I feel foolish to continue to
write you these letter, but I do not know what else I can do.
I am like Tantalus -- I keep...”
She puts the eyelash curler back

and removes a tube of lipstick;
touches up her lipstick.
ELLA
(Russian accent)
“My darling son. Hello, again. I feel...”
(tries that word again,
working on the accent)
“I feel....”
(beat)
“I feel....”
She trails off. A beat. Then --
1/15/15
96.
ELLA
(out of character; muttering
under her breath)
This is fucking terrible.
She puts the lipstick and compact

back in her pouch. Puts the pouch
back in her purse.
She takes a big gulp of wine.

Opens her purse, and retrieves a
pot pipe from her purse.
She lights it. She inhales. She

holds the pot in her lungs.
Exhales.
She gets quiet. And then --
She begins to get into character:

she hunches her back; her eyelids
become heavy; she seems suddenly
much, much older -- and
masculine. Her left hand shakes
with a tremor.
ELLA
(Russian accent)
“My darling son. Hello, again. I feel foolish to continue to
write you these letter, but I do not know what else I can do.
I am like Tantalus -- I keep reaching for grape, but I know
they always be out of reach.
(beat)
But I write, and keep reaching, and pray, to hope that you
one day my boy decide to open his father letter and not to
mail back.”
Her performance is beautiful --

simple, heartbreaking.
ELLA
(Russian accent)
“I wish you let me be you father again. I know you angry -- I
am angry too, at myself. You old dad always have trouble with
this anger -- this sticky, mean monster, that chew up so many
great men....”
A beat. Then --
ELLA
(muttering to herself; out of
character)
I’m a fucking hack.
1/15/15
97.
She get up and crosses to the

ashtray. Dumps the residue from
the pipe into it. Then, she picks
up the ashtray, and crosses to
the trash can. She BANGS the
ashtray against the trash can to
empty it.
She bangs it over and over and

over. Hard. Violently.
Then --
She stops.
She stands over the trash can,

panting.
A beat.
A beat.
Then --
A sudden BURST of light -- a door

opens -- the door to the theater.
Ella WHIPS around, terrified.
A figure stands in the doorway,

silhouetted by the light from the
lobby.
A beat. Then -
The figure emerges.
It is DAVID.
The door closes behind him.
A beat.
Darkness, now, aside from the

ghost light.
Ella looks at her father.
The blood drains from her face as

she takes him in.
He looks very different from the

last time we saw him. He is more
hunched -- he seems much smaller.
1/15/15
98.
His face is gray. The lines in

his face are deeper. He looks
exhausted, like he has been
though a war. He looks like he
has aged a hundred years.
Still, it is clear he has put a

considerable effort into his
appearance -- he is cleaned up:
he wears a suit and tie. His hair
is combed. He holds a small
bouquet of roses. His eyes are
clear. He looks at Ella.
She looks at him.
A long, long silence.
Ella is paralyzed.
A beat. Then --
ELLA
Oh my god....
She takes him in. A beat. Then --
She suddenly BURSTS out laughing.

Manically. Hysterically.
ELLA
You’re so... OLD...!
She cracks up.
Beat.
She stops laughing.
ELLA
(really taking him in)
You look... so... old....
Beat.
She takes him in.
ELLA
(becoming upset)
You look... dead....
Beat.
1/15/15
99.
ELLA
Are you... dead...?
A beat. David is completely

silent. He just looks at Ella;
smiles, sadly.
She starts to panic.
ELLA
(starting to tremble)
What’s -- wrong...?!
David opens his mouth to speak --
DAVID
... ... ...
ELLA
(very alarmed)
W-what...?
DAVID
I...laaahve...
His speech is thick -- slurred,

labored. He has extreme
difficulty getting the sounds
out.
He clears his throat. Begins

again.
DAVID
I...laaahve...yooouuu...Ehl-lahhh....
Beat. She starts to shake.
ELLA
What...?!?
He clears his throat.
DAVID
(trying very hard to
articulate)
I...hahd...a strohhhke.... I’m...ohhh-kay....but...it’s...
haaahhh-hd...fohr...meee...to...
(he sings the next word)
...speeeeeeeaaaaaak....
Ella is silenced. Just looks at

him. Paralyzed.
1/15/15
100.
A beat. Then --
He continues to speak-sing. The

tune is “Somewhere,” from “West
Side Story.”
DAVID
(explaining; singing)
It’s...eeeas-i-er...when...I...siiiiing....
(beat)
My...speech...der-a-pist...tehlls...me...tooo...
...siiiing...
(beat)
...whaaaht...I...waaahhhnt...to....saaayyy....
(beat)
Dat’s...dee...ohhhn-ly...waaaaaay --
He is cut off by a sob. He tries

to hold it in.
He cries.
Ella is paralyzed.
She stares at him.
A beat. Then --
She begins to gather her things.
ELLA
(softly)
It’s really late. What am I doing here. I have to go....
David stands there, watches her,

blinks -- he looks almost calm --
tranquil even; almost serene.
A beat. Then --
DAVID
(singing to the tune of
“Somewhere”)
(beat)
An...impohhhrtant...paaahrt...
(beat)
...ahhhv...de...reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...cohverrrry...
(beat)
....proh-cess...is...maaaykeeen...ahhhm-ennnnds...
(beat)
....tooooo...dohhhse...I’ve...haaahrmed....
(beat)
I...ohhhwe...youu...an...ahhhmends....
(beat)
1/15/15
101.
I...wahs...a...bad...fahhh-derrrr....
(beat)
I...diiih-dn’t...giiihve yooou...da...laaahve...
(beat)
...dat...yooou...deee-zerrrhrve....
Ella looks at her father, in deep

pain and horrified fascination.
DAVID
I...wahhhs...sehhhl-fiiish....
(beat)
I...wahhhs...dis-haaahn-est....
(beat)
I...wahhhs...ihhhn-con-siiiiiderate....
(beat)
I...wahhhs...ahhh-fraaayd....
(beat; he chokes back a sob)
I’m...graaayt-ful...fohr...my...strrrohhhke....
(beat)
It...maaayde...meee...aaasssk...fohr...hehhhlp....
(beat)
I...wahhhs...liiiving...al-ohhh-ne...up-staaay-te...
(beat)
...driiinking...my-sehhlf...tooo...dehhhttt....
(beat)
Dis...strohhhke...saaayved...my...liiife....
(beat)
Da...daaahc-tors...saiiid...tooo...meee....
(beat)
“If...you...dohhhn’t...goh...to...A...A...
(beat)
...youuu...wiiilll...die....
(beat; laughs a little)
I...said...“I’d...raaa-der...die”....
(beat; laughs; shrugs)
I...showhhhd...up...annny-waaay...
(beat)
...gaaahhht...a spohhhn-sor...and wohhhrked...da...steps....
(beat)
My...liiife...beee-gannn...tooo...chaaaynge....
(beat)
I’ve...bihhhn...s-ohhh-ber...fohhhr...
(beat)
...twooo...ahhhnd...a...hahhh-lf...yeeears....
(beat)
My...liiife...hahs...gaaahhhten...riiihhhch...and...
fuuuhhhl....
(beat; with emotion)
I...hahve...fouuunnnd...my...hohhhmmm....
(beat)
Ehhhvry...mohhhrniiing...I...
(beat)
...gehhht...on...my...kneees...and...saaayyy...
1/15/15
102.
(beat)
“Gohhhd...pleeease...shohhhw...me...yohhhr...wiiihhhlll...
tooodaaayyy....
(beat)
Shohhhw...meee...hohhhw...tooo...beee....”
(beat; he smiles)
Den...I...saaayyy...“Gohhhd...
(beat; choking back tears)
...pleeease...giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive...Ehl-lahhh...
(beat)
...everrryyyyyyting...daaat...sheee...deserrrves....
(beat)
...Hehhhlp...herrr...tooo...beee...freeeeee....”
(beat; smiles, through tears)
I...reahhhd...ahhhbout...yohr...shohhhw....
(beat)
I...am...ah-maaayzed...by...yooouuu....
(beat)
Yooouuu...ahhhre...feeearless...and...yooouuu...ahhhre...
strohhhng....
(beat; beams, through tears)
An...aaahhhr-tist...I...ad-miiihre....
(beat)
Yooouuu...ahhhre...dooo-eeehng...graaayt....
(beat; glowing)
Yooouuu...ahhhre...dooo-eeehng...graaayt....
(beat; with great emotion)
Yooouuu...ahhhre...dooo-eeehng...sohhh...graaayt....
(through tears)
I’m...soh...prouuud...of...youuuu...!
Ella listens.
David cries. Clears his throat.

Continues.
DAVID
I...knohhhw...dat...diiis...is...hahhhrd....
(beat)
I...knohhhw...dat...yooouuu...ahhhre...scaaayred....
(beat)
I-I-I...am...scaaayred...tooooo...
(smiling, trough tears)
I’m...ahhhl-so...soh...haaapy...tooo...seeeeeee...yooouuu....
Slowly, tentatively, he moves

toward her.
DAVID
Saaahhhm...daayyyy...
Slowly, tentatively, he moves

closer.
1/15/15
103.
DAVID
Saaahhhhm...whehhhre.....
She lets him approach her. He

keeps singing.
DAVID
Weee'll...fiiind...a...neeew...waaayyy...of...liiiveeehng...
Ever so gingerly, he places his

hand on her arm.
Ever so slightly, she starts to

smiles at him.
Ever so softly, he continues to

sing, and ever so delicately, she
begins to join in as David leans
in to embrace her.
DAVID ELLA
Weee'll...fiiind...a...waaayy Weee'll...fiiind...a...waaayy
y...of...fohr-giiiv- y...of...fohr-giiiv-
eeehng..... eeehng.....
And suddenly -- she SHOVES past

him.
He stumbles.
She crosses to her bag, reaches

inside and pulls out a baggie of
cocaine.
He turns, and sees.
She shoves her finger into the

baggie and snorts some coke off
her pinkie nail.
David approaches her, gently. He

gingerly places a hand on her
shoulder.
As his hand touches her

shoulder...
ELLA
Get AWAY from me!
She SHOVES him off her.
He falls to the floor.
1/15/15
104.
She looks at him, lying on the

floor. Then --
She picks up the wine bottle, and

slowly, deliberately, POURS the
rest of the bottle of wine on his
face.
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t even

make a sound. He just accepts it.
Then --
She turns away. Slams the now-

empty wine bottle down on the
table. Sits back down in David’s
chair. She lights a cigarette.
Inhales deeply.
David begins to get himself up -

slowly, laboriously. He has much
trouble moving.
Ella doesn’t react. She remains

still, staring ahead darkly,
smoking.
David heads for the door.
Ella blows smoke rings.
David reaches the door. He stands

in the doorway.
Ella blows smoke rings.
David stands in the doorway.
Ella doesn’t look.
A beat. Then --
He leaves.
A beat.
We hear a door opening and then

slamming shut offstage.
A beat. Then --
ELLA
Hmmm....
1/15/15
105.
She stands up and crosses to the

trash. Her movements are wobbly,
jerky. She leans over the trash,
and searching through it with her
hands. Picks out the smaller
bottle of wine. Looks at it.
ELLA
Hmmmmmmmmm....
She slowly pulls the gold ribbon

off the wine -- sees that it’s a
screw-top. Throws the ribbon on
the floor; unscrews the top, and
throws it on the floor. Then --
She crosses to the back wall of

the theater. She leans against a
wall, clutching the bottle.
ELLA
Nothing to be done....
A beat. Then --
She brings the wine bottle to her

lips and CHUGS.
She slowly slides down the wall,

the bottle glued to her lips.
She chugs and chugs. She sits on

the floor. She takes a drag off
her cigarette. She puts it out on
the floor. Then --
She takes the baggie of cocaine

out of her pocket and shoves two
fingers inside. She shovels
cocaine into her nose. She snorts
it like a pig. She chugs more
wine. Finishes the bottle.
A beat. Then --
She lies down.
Lies there. Motionless.
A beat.
A beat.
A beat.
1/15/15
106.
Then --
Her PHONE RINGS.
A beat. Then --
She stands up. Wobbily rummages

around to find her phone. Picks
it up.
ELLA
(woozily)
...h-hello-o....
(beat; very quiet, eyes
closed)
I’m resting....
She opens her eyes. Listens. A

beat. Then --
ELLA
(suddenly filled with fury)
I fucking TOLD you Shelly I don’t want to know! I don’t want
to know! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!! I
DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!! I DON’T WANT TO
KNOW!!! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!! I
DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!!
(a vicious hiss )
Because when you start to think they’re winning?! That’s when
you die!
She hangs up.
Slams the phone down on the

table.
She pants.
She stares at the phone.
She pants.
Then --
She picks up the wine bottle from

the floor.
She chugs.
She picks up the baggie of

cocaine from the floor. Shoves
her fingers inside and snorts
some coke off her fingers.
1/15/15
107.
A beat.
She looks at her phone.
A beat.
A beat.
Then -
She picks up the phone. Types

something in.
ELLA
It’s loading. It’s loading....
(beat)
Oh god.... Oh god...!
(looks at her phone; mutters)
Cocksucking christ, why’s it taking so long...?!
Eyes still glued to the phone,

she chugs from the bottle. Rubs
some cocaine residue on her gums.
She looks at her phone.
A beat. Then --
ELLA
Okay, here it is.
(scrolls, reads)
Oh god. Oh god....!
(reading)
Sh. Shhh...!
Beat. Beat.
She reads. She scrolls.
As she reads, she transforms. She

becomes David, and Ella --
switching off.
ELLA
What’s it say? What’s it say...?
Hold on. Hold on!
(a terrified whisper)
I can’t. I can’t...!
(beat)
Man up. Man up!
(in agony)
I’m sorry. I’m sorry...!
1/15/15
108.
(reads)
Huh. Huh....
(beat)
What. What...?!
Ella scrolls on the phone.
She reads. She reads.
ELLA
It’s good. It’s good....
It is?! It is?!
Yes. Yes....
What else. What else?!?
He liked it. He liked it...!
Oh god. Oh god...!
It’s a rave. It’s a rave!
A tiny beat. Then --
ELLA
(almost orgasmic)
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!
A transcendent, glowing smile

seems to overcome her whole
being.
ELLA
(on another plane of
existence)
It’s a rave -- for you.
She beams. She beams.
A beat.
She looks out at the theater --

the empty seats.
A beat.
A beat. Then --
ELLA
(dreamily)
It’s a hit. It’s a hit...!
Beat.
ELLA
I’m a star. I’m a star...!
A beat. Then --
1/15/15
109.
Her face falls.
ELLA
It’s a hit.
She begins to cry.
ELLA
I’m a star.
She cries.
ELLA
I’m a star.
She cries.
ELLA
(in despair)
I’m a star...!
She gets on her knees.
ELLA
Oh god...! Oh God...!
She clasps her hands in prayer.
ELLA
Oh, God please help me....
Lights fade as she repeats these

four words in a desperate,
strangled whisper.
ELLA
God please help me! God please help me!!!
We can barely see her.
ELLA
(a last, desperate please)
God!
Blackout.
END OF PLAY.
1/15/15

Halley Feiffer - I'm Gonna Pray For You So Hard

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Halley Feiffer - I'm Gonna Pray For You So Hard

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Halley Feiffer - I'm Gonna Pray For You So Hard

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

I'M GONNA PRAY FOR YOU SO HARD

Enormous gratitude to our World Premiere cast, the peerless

Thank you to everyone who has so generously contributed to

ELLA: Twenties. An up-and-coming actress.

DAVID: Seventies. A famous playwright. Ella’s father.

ACT I: An Upper West Side Manhattan apartment. Present day.

An enormous eat-in kitchen in a

The room is a mess -- papers and

ELLA and DAVID sit at the table.

Ella wears no makeup. She wears

David has scraggly gray hair and

They both drink white wine with

She beams at him.

He smiles back at her. Pours

Oh god did I try. But it’s as if I had a magnetic energy that

Beat. He goes into a memory.

A beat. David reflects. Then --

A beat. David goes into a memory.

He gets up to empty the ashtray.

He bangs the ashtray against the

She pours him another glass of

He looks at the glass. A beat.

He returns to the table with the

She hands him the glass. He takes

He lights a new cigarette.

A beat. He remembers. Ella

Beat. Ella is agape.

He extinguishes his cigarette.

She goes for her pack, sees it’s

He lights his cigarette. He

He smokes. She drinks some wine.

He stares at her, his eyes

He gets up to empty the ashtray.

He BANGS the ashtray, hard,

He stands there, hunched over the

Ella tries not to cry.

David stands there; says nothing.

She pours him another glass of

David gets up.

David crosses to a cupboard.

David opens the cupboard and

He lights it. He inhales. He

A beat. Then -- he exhales.

He takes another hit.

He takes another hit.

He hands her the bong.

She lights the bong and inhales.

A beat. Then -- she exhales.

They pass the bong back and

Ella starts to cry.

David pats his lap.

Ella gets up and sits on his lap.

He kisses her head.

Ella smiles through her tears.

Ella cries and laughs.

He tickles her. She giggles.

He tickles her. She squirms

Beat. She beams at him.

David’s eyes mist over. He

Ella gets off his lap. She sits