AN EDITOR'S GUIDE TO

ACADEMIC
WRITING
 Contents
p. 1 THE BASIC RULES
p. 2 ACADEMIC WRITING
p. 3 JARGON
p. 3 STEREOTYPES AND BIASED LANGUAGE
p. 3 SINGULAR 'THEY'

p. 4 CONCISION

p. 5 COMMON STRATEGIES TO ACHIEVE CONCISION

p. 6 HOW TO REMOVE UNNECESSARY WORDS (REPETITIONS, TAUTOLOGY,

FILLERS, ETC.)

p. 8 SOME OTHER INSTANCES OF WORDINESS AN EDITOR SHOULD DEAL WITH

p. 11 AVOID INTENSIFIERS AND UNSPECIFIC DETERMINANTS

p. 12 ACTIVE VERSUS PASSIVE VOICE

p. 14 PERSONAL PRONOUNS I AND YOU

p. 14 SENTENCE VARIETY
The Basic Rules
In academic writing, we have to avoid slang,
idiomatic expressions, contractions, and biased
language, use in-group jargon only where
appropriate, and make the language concise and to
the point.
Please make sure papers are written in formal English
unless the requirements specify otherwise.

The errors to correct in academic writing include:

the instances of biased language/stereotypes or
impolite communication
slang, contractions, and other conversational
language
wordiness
intensifiers and unspecific determinants
overused passive voice
pronouns ‘I’ (allowed only in reflection papers)
and ‘you’

-1-
Academic Writing
Our company specializes in academic writing, which means that the papers have to be written
in academic English. Some exceptions are creative writing (e.g., poems), mock interviews
(may be written in conversational English), and other out-of-the-ordinary tasks. However, in
most cases, as an editor, you have to make sure the writer used correct academic English.
Please read the following article* to familiarize yourself with the basic requirements for
academic writing.

*The information is adapted from PurdueOwl

(https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/academic_writing/index.html), the University of Leeds website
(https://library.leeds.ac.uk/info/14011/writing/106/academic_writing) and the University of Southern California
website (https://libguides.usc.edu/writingguide/writingconcisely). You are welcome and highly encouraged to visit
these websites and delve more deeply into the topic.

In academic writing, we have to avoid slang, idiomatic expressions, contractions, and biased
language, use in-group jargon only where appropriate, and make the language concise and to
the point.

Academic writing is:

Planned and focused: answers the question and demonstrates an understanding of the
subject.
Structured: is coherent, written in a logical order, and brings together related points and
material.
Evidenced: demonstrates knowledge of the subject area, supports opinions and arguments
with evidence, and is referenced accurately.
Formal in tone and style: uses appropriate language and tenses, and is clear, concise and
balanced.
Academic writing is generally formal, objective (impersonal) and technical. Consider the
following level of formality to see the difference*.

Formal:
Cultural differences regarding the presentation of an academic paper may not be significant,
but nonnative speakers should be aware of the format rules they will be expected to follow in
academic courses. First, effective academic writing in any culture looks professional. The
professor will be more willing to appreciate the message if the presentation is pleasing to the
eye. Such a paper demonstrates the writer's attention to detail, whereas a sloppy paper
indicates a slip-shod job. A paper that looks professional will not necessarily get an "A" in a
university here, but a carelessly assembled, messy paper will be lucky to get a "D," especially
if the content is poor.

Semi-formal:
Professors in this culture have specific format rules. First, they want papers to be neat. This is
true in other cultures too. But in our culture, we have to remember little things. Such as put
the holes on the left, not the right. We also have to skip lines and leave the margin empty.
Because the paper will be easy to read. Moreover, professors here want us to use only the
front of the paper, not the back.

-2-
 Informal (Incorrect):
I'm going to write about the format rules for writing in school. I think good writing looks neat. What I mean is
that it is not a piece of junk. My composition teacher said my paragraphs should be pictures. The paper is cool
to look at. Easy to read if I do, I guess. I used to write yucky papers. But now I don't. Do you? I hear that format
things are different everywhere. People use lines and stuff different all over the world. Weird. I guess people
from other countries need to learn the same things as me. If they don't, they might turn their teacher off. Even if
they are neat.

*The examples are from the website https://studfile.net/preview/2155535/page:8/

Dear editor, please make sure papers are written in formal English unless the requirements specify otherwise.

‘Besides’ should not be used as a sentence adverb because it is considered informal (it can be used as a
Common mistake preposition, though). Please use ‘moreover’, ‘furthermore’ or ‘in addition’ instead:

Besides, smoking is linked with heart disease and strokes. -> Moreover, smoking is linked with heart
disease and strokes.

Jargon
The term "jargon" refers to any in-group or specialized language used by small groups of like-minded
individuals. For example, people who study linguistics will use words like quantifier, voiceless labiodental
fricative, diglossia, intensifier, minimal pair and metonymy. To non-linguists, these words have different
meanings or no meaning at all.

If a paper is written for a general audience, there should be no in-group jargon without explanations.
Overloading the readers with words they do not understand will not help achieve the purpose of the text.
If, however, a paper is written for an in-group audience, group-specific jargon should be used. Not using the
jargon when it is expected by the audience* can signal that the author has not mastered the group's terminology.
This will most likely damage the author's credibility and interfere with the purpose in writing.
For example, a conference paper for a group of linguists or a term paper for a college-level linguistics course,
should contain in-group jargon to help show that the author understands the concepts and can discuss them in the
ways other linguists can.

*Professors often tell their students which audience they should be writing for. Master’s and PHD level papers are usually
written for an in-group audience.

Stereotypes and Biased Language

Biased language frequently occurs with gender, but can also offend groups of people based on sexual
orientation, ethnicity, political interest, or race. Stereotyped language is any that assumes a stereotype about a
group of people. For example, do not assume a common stereotype about blonde women:

Incorrect: Although she was blonde, Mary was still intelligent.

Revised: Mary was intelligent.

-3-
Gender-Biased Language
The Chicago Manual of Style, the MLA Style Guide, and the APA Style Guide all have similar
recommendations about inclusive language use in writing (detailed behind pay-walls). National Council of
Teachers of English suggests the following guidelines that have been adapted only for guidance:

Original Alternatives
chairman coordinator (of a committee or department), presiding officer,
head, chair;
businessman business executive, business person;
fireman firefighter;
steward and stewardess flight attendant
policeman and policewoman police officer

Singular 'They'
The singular “they” is a generic third-person singular pronoun in English. Use of the singular “they” is
endorsed as part of APA Style because it is inclusive of all people and helps writers avoid making
assumptions about gender. Although usage of the singular “they” was once discouraged in academic
writing, many advocacy groups and publishers have accepted it, including Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary.
Use “they” as a generic third-person singular pronoun to refer to a person whose gender is unknown or
irrelevant to the context of the usage.
Do not use combination forms such as “(s)he” and “s/he.”
If you do not know the pronouns of the person being described, reword the sentence to avoid a
pronoun or use the pronoun “they.”

Use following forms of the singular “they”:

Form Example
they Casey is a gender-fluid person. They are from Texas and enjoy tacos.
them Every client got a care package delivered to them.
their Each child played with their parent.
theirs The cup of coffee is theirs.
themselves (or themself) A private person usually keeps to themselves [or themself].

Here are some tips to help you use the proper forms:
Use a plural verb form with the singular pronoun “they” (i.e., write “they are” not “they is”).
Use a singular verb form with a singular noun (i.e., write “Casey is” or “a person is,” not “Casey are” or
“a person are”).
Both “themselves” and “themself” are acceptable as reflexive singular pronouns; however, “themselves”
is currently the more common usage.

An alternative to this is merely changing the sentence. English is very flexible, so there is little reason to
"write yourself into a corner":
Original: Anyone who wants to go to the game should bring his money.
Alternative: People who want to go to the game should bring their money.

Dear editor, please correct the instances of biased language/stereotypes or impolite communication.

-4-
 Concision
The goal of concise writing is to use the most effective words. Concise writing does not always
have the fewest words, but it always uses the strongest ones. Writers often fill sentences with
weak or unnecessary words that can be deleted or replaced.

For example, the writers use too long sentence starters, such as 'it is worth mentioning that...' it
should be emphasized that...' etc., which leads to wordiness. Another example is adding
redundant words to make expressions sound more sophisticated. For example, ‘research and
development initiatives’, ‘ actions and activities’, ‘year 2021’ and so on.

Dear editor, please try to detect the instances of wordiness already while making the
preliminary evaluation of a paper. As a rule, papers that include redundancies become
shorter after editing - provided that the editing is good - thus resulting in decreased word
count.
If you see that a paper is not concise enough, please highlight the instances of wordiness
and ask the writer to remove them.
Wordiness and repetition weaken papers, making them not suitable for University,
Master’s, or PHD level. This flaw should affect the grade for PR.

Common Strategies to Achieve Concision

1. REPLACE SEVERAL VAGUE WORDS WITH MORE POWERFUL AND SPECIFIC
WORDS.

Often, writers use several small and ambiguous words to express a concept, wasting energy
expressing ideas better relayed through fewer specific words. As a general rule, more specific
words lead to more concise writing. Because of the variety of nouns, verbs, and adjectives,
most things have a closely corresponding description. Brainstorming or searching a
thesaurus can lead to the word best suited for a specific instance. Notice that the examples
below actually convey more as they drop in word count.

Wordy: The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his
speech. (14 words)
Concise: The politician touted after-school programs in his speech. (8 words)

Wordy: Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection for her. (14
words)
Concise: Suzie assumed that Billy adored her. (6 words)

Wordy: Our Website has made available many of the things you can use for making a decision
on the best dentist. (20 words)
Concise: Our website presents criteria for determining the best dentist. (9 words)

Wordy: Working as a pupil under someone who develops photos was an experience that really
helped me learn a lot. (20 words)
Concise: Working as a photo technician's apprentice was an educational experience. (10
words)

-5-
 2. QUESTION EVERY WORD IN A SENTENCE.

Check every word to make sure that it is providing something important and unique to a sentence. If words
are dead weight, they can be deleted or replaced.
Wordy: The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my essay
that I had written for class. (22 words)
Concise: The teacher demonstrated methods for cutting words from my essay. (10 words)

Wordy: Many have made the wise observation that when a stone is in motion rolling down a hill or incline
that that moving stone is not as likely to be covered all over with the kind of thick green moss that grows on
stationary unmoving things and becomes a nuisance and suggests that those things haven’t moved in a long
time and probably won’t move any time soon. (67 words)
Concise: A rolling stone gathers no moss. (6 words)

3. COMBINE SENTENCES.

Some information does not require a full sentence, and can be inserted into another sentence without losing
any of its value. To get more strategies for sentence combining, see the section Sentence Variety on p .
Wordy: Ludwig's castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. By his death, he had
commissioned three castles. (18 words)
Concise: Ludwig's three castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. (11 words)

Wordy: The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life.
This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947. (24 words)
Concise: The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial
life. (16 words)

How to Remove Unnecessary Words

(Repetitions, Tautology, Fillers, etc.)
1. ELIMINATE WORDS THAT EXPLAIN THE OBVIOUS OR PROVIDE EXCESSIVE DETAIL.

If passages explain or describe details that would already be obvious to readers, delete or reword them.
Readers are also very adept at filling in the non-essential aspects of a narrative.
Wordy: Frequently, a chapter in a book reveals to the reader the main point that the author desires to
bring out during the course of the chapter. (26 words)
Concise: A chapter’s title often reveals its thesis. (7 words)

Wordy: It goes without saying that we are acquainted with your policy on filing tax returns, and we have
every intention of complying with the regulations that you have mentioned. (29 words)
Concise: We intend to comply with the tax-return regulations that you have mentioned. (12 words)

2. OMIT REPETITIVE WORDING.

Note phrases or long passages that repeat words with similar meanings. Words that do not build on the
content of sentences or paragraphs are rarely necessary.

-6-
Wordy: The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter an unneeded luxury. [Things people need
are not a luxury] (10 words)
Concise: The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter a luxury. (9 words)

Wordy: Our branch office currently employs five tellers. These tellers do an excellent job Monday through
Thursday but cannot keep up with the rush on Friday and Saturday. (27 words)
Concise: Our branch office currently employs five tellers, who do an excellent job Monday through
Thursday but cannot keep up with Friday and Saturday rush periods. (25 words)

3. OMIT REDUNDANT PAIRS

Common mistake

Many pairs of words imply each other. ‘Finish’ implies ‘complete,’ so the phrase ‘to finish completely’ is
wordy. So are many other pairs of words:

past memories true facts free gift

various differences important essentials past history
each individual _______ future plans unexpected surprise

Wordy: Before the travel agent was completely able to finish explaining the various differences among all
of the many very unique vacation packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her
future plans. (33 words)
Concise: Before the travel agent finished explaining the differences among the unique vacation packages
his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her plans. (23 words)

4. OMIT REDUNDANT CATEGORIES

Common mistake

Specific words imply their general categories, so we usually do not have to state both. We know that a
period is a segment of time, that pink is a color, that shiny is an appearance.
In each of the following phrases, the general category term can be dropped, leaving just the specific
descriptive word:

large in size round in shape of an uncertain condition

often times at an early time in a confused state
of a bright color economics field unusual in nature
heavy in weight of cheap quality extreme in degree
period in time honest in character of a strange type

Wordy: During that time period, many car buyers preferred cars that were pink in color and shiny in
appearance. (18 words)
Concise: During that period, many car buyers preferred pink, shiny cars. (10 words)

Wordy: The microscope revealed a group of organisms that were round in shape and peculiar in nature.
(16 words)
Concise: The microscope revealed a group of peculiar, round organisms. (9 words)

-7-
 Some Other Instances of Wordiness an Editor Should Deal with

1. CHANGE PHRASES INTO SINGLE-WORDS AND ADJECTIVES.

Using phrases to convey meaning that could be presented in a single word contributes to wordiness.
Convert phrases into single words when possible.

Wordy: The employee with ambition... (4 words)

Concise: The ambitious employee... (3 words)

Wordy: The department showing the best performance... (6 words)

Concise: The best-performing department... (4 words)

Wordy: We read the letter we received yesterday and reviewed it thoroughly.(11 words)
Concise: We thoroughly read the letter we received yesterday.(8 words)

Many commonly-used phrases can be replaced with single words. These phrases often crop up in writing
that requires a formal tone, but they detract from, rather than add to, meaning.

“The reason for”, “due to the fact that”, “in light of the fact that”, “given the fact that”, and “considering
the fact that” can be replaced with because, since, or why.
“In the event that” and “under circumstances in which” can be replaced with if. “It is necessary that” and
“cannot be avoided” can be replaced with must or should.
“For the purpose of” can often be replaced with an infinitive verb (the “to ____” form of the verb).
Common mistake

For example:
Wordy: In spite of the fact that half the participants abandoned the study, the researchers still conducted
Phase 2.
Concise: Although half the participants abandoned the study, the researchers still conducted Phase 2.

2. CHANGE UNNECESSARY THAT, WHO, AND WHICH CLAUSES INTO PHRASES.

Convert modifying clauses into phrases or single words when possible.

Wordy: The report, which was released recently... (6 words)
Concise: The recently released report... (4 words)

Wordy: All applicants who are interested in the job must... (9 words)
Concise: All job applicants must... (4 words)

3. CHANGE PASSIVE VERBS INTO ACTIVE VERBS.

Wordy: An account was opened by Mrs. Simms. (7 words)

Concise: Mrs. Simms opened an account. (5 words)

Wordy: Your figures were checked by the research department. (8 words)

Concise: The research department checked your figures. (6 words)

-8-
 3. AVOID OVERUSING EXPLETIVES AT THE BEGINNING OF SENTENCES.

Expletives are phrases of the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb. Such expressions can be rhetorically
effective for emphasis in some situations, but overuse or unnecessary use of expletive constructions
creates wordy prose. Take the following example: "It is imperative that we find a solution." The same
meaning could be expressed with this more succinct wording: "We must find a solution."
You should generally avoid excessive or unnecessary use of expletives. In most cases, concise sentences
can be created by eliminating the expletive opening, making the noun the subject of the sentence, and
eliminating the relative pronoun.

Wordy: It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills. (9 words)

Concise: The governor signs or vetoes bills. (6 words)

Wordy: There are four rules that should be observed: ...(8 words)
Concise: Four rules should be observed:... (5 words)

Wordy: There was a big explosion, which shook the windows, and people ran into the street. (15 words)
Concise: A big explosion shook the windows, and people ran into the street. (12 words)

4. AVOID OVERUSING NOUN FORMS OF VERBS.

Use verbs when possible rather than noun forms known as nominalizations. Sentences with many
nominalizations usually have forms of be as the main verbs. Using the action verbs disguised in
nominalizations as the main verbs—instead of forms of be—can help to create engaging rather than dull
prose.

Wordy: The function of this department is the collection of accounts. (10 words)
Concise: This department collects accounts. (4 words)

Wordy: The current focus of the medical profession is disease prevention. (10 words)
Concise: The medical profession currently focuses on disease prevention. (8 words)

5. AVOID UNNECESSARY INFINITIVE PHRASES.

Some infinitive phrases can be converted into finite verbs or brief noun phrases. Making such changes also
often results in the replacement of a be-verb with an action verb.
Wordy: The duty of a clerk is to check all incoming mail and to record it. (15 words)
Concise: A clerk checks and records all incoming mail. (8 words)

6. IDENTIFY NEGATIVES AND CHANGE THEM TO AFFIRMATIVES.

Expressing ideas in negative form means you must use an extra word; it also makes readers work harder to
figure out your meaning.

Example: If you do not have more than five years of experience, do not call for an interview if you have not
already spoken to human resources.
Revision: Applicants with more than five years of experience can bypass human resources and call for an
interview.

-9-
 7. AVOID CIRCUMLOCUTIONS IN FAVOR OF DIRECT EXPRESSIONS.
Common mistake

Circumlocutions are commonly used roundabout expressions that take several words to say what could be
said more succinctly. We often overlook them because many such expressions are habitual figures of
speech. In writing, though, they should be avoided since they add extra words without extra meaning. Of
course, occasionally you may use, say, an expletive construction instead of a more succinct expression for
rhetorical effect. These guidelines should be taken as general recommendations, not absolute rules.

Wordy: At this/that point in time… (5 words)

Concise: Now/then… (1 word)

Wordy: In accordance with Mr. Willow’s request… (5 words)

Concise: As Mr. Willow requested… (3 words)

Wordy: It is necessary that we take a stand on this pressing issue. (12 words)
Concise: We must take a stand on this pressing issue. (9 words)

"because," "since," "why" = "must," "should" =

the reason for it is crucial that
for the reason that it is necessary that
owing/due to the fact that
there is a need/necessity for
in light of the fact that
it is important that
considering the fact that
on the grounds that
cannot be avoided
this is why "can" =
"when" = is able to
on the occasion of has the opportunity to
in a situation in which has the capacity for
under circumstances in which has the ability to
"about" = "may," "might," "could" =
as regards
it is possible that
in reference to
there is a chance that
with regard to
concerning the matter of
it could happen that
where ________ is concerned the possibility exists for

8. IDENTIFY AND REDUCE PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES.

Overuse of prepositional phrases (which begin with words like “in,” “for,” “at,” “on,” “through,” and
“over”) can make a sentence clunky and unclear. To locate this problem, you may circle the prepositions
and see whether you can eliminate any prepositional phrases without losing your meaning.

Example: The reason for the failure of the basketball team of the University of North Carolina in the Final
Four game against the team from Kansas was that on that day and at that time, some players were
frequently unable to rebound the ball.
Revision: UNC’s basketball team lost the Final Four game against Kansas because it could not
consistently rebound the ball.

- 10 -
 Avoid Intensifiers and
Unspecific Determinants
Intensifiers are modifying words, such as, very, literally, radically, definitely, significantly,
greatly, extremely, moderately, basically, exceptionally, obviously, really, uncommonly, etc.
Intensifiers create the illusion of accentuating words but, in academic writing, intensifiers do
not convey anything measurable. Editing intensifiers does not imply replacing the term
“extremely large” with the word “huge”; if something is unusual or it needs highlighting,
quantify its uniqueness and place it in a comparative context. For example, instead of
saying, “...an extremely large increase in hospital visitations,” state as, “...a 45% increase in
hospital visitations since 2010”.

Eliminate unspecific determinants - words such as "super" [as in super strong] or "very" [as
in very strong], are unspecific determinants. How many/much is "very"? How incredibly
awesome is super? If you ask ten people how cold "very cold" is, you would get ten different
answers. Academic writing should be precise, so eliminate as many unspecific
determinants as possible. Here's a list of some words and phrases that can often be pruned
away to make sentences clearer:
kind of definitely
sort of actually
type of generally
really individual
basically specific
for all intents and purposes particular

Wordy: Balancing the budget by Friday is an impossibility without some kind of additional
help. (14 words)
Concise: Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without additional help. (10 words)

Wordy: For all intents and purposes, American industrial productivity generally depends on
certain factors that are really more psychological in kind than of any given technological
aspect. (26 words)
Concise: American industrial productivity depends more on psychological than on
technological factors. (11 words)

For the same reason, please avoid emotional language (very, extremely, interesting, beautiful,
etc.). A remark: emotional language could be used if it is necessary to voice a personal opinion.
If there is no data to quantify the phenomena, then describe its significance using precise
language. For example, "Evidence that hospital visitations are increasing may impact the
quality of patient services because there are no indications that staffing levels will be increased
in the foreseeable future".

Common mistake

- 11 -
Active versus Passive Voice

Please do not overuse the passive voice, because it can cloud the meaning of your sentences.
It is usually appropriate to use a mixture of passive and active forms in academic writing.

The active voice places the subject of the sentence in charge of the action. For example:
The research assistant designed the survey. Here the research assistant (the subject) designed
(the verb) the survey (the object). The active voice is usually more direct and easier to read
than the passive voice. However, sometimes you may want to emphasize what is happening
rather than who is doing it. To do this, you can use the passive voice.
The passive voice places the subject at the end of a sentence, or may leave it out completely.
For example: The survey was designed by the research assistant. Here the survey (the object)
was designed (the verb) by the research assistant (the subject).

Dear editor, please consider changing the passive voice into active voice when you see that a
writer tends to overuse the former.

1. Avoid starting a sentence in the active voice and then shifting to passive.

Unnecessary shift in voice Revised

Many customers in the restaurant found the Many customers in the restaurant found the
coffee too bitter to drink, but it was still coffee too bitter to drink, but they still ordered
ordered frequently. it frequently.

He tried to act cool when he slipped in the He tried to act cool when he slipped in the
puddle, but he was still laughed at by the puddle, but the other students still laughed at
other students. him.

2. Avoid dangling modifiers caused by the use of passive voice. A dangling modifier is a
word or phrase that modifies a word not clearly stated in the sentence.

Dangling modifier with passive voice Revised

To save time, the paper was written on a To save time, Kristin wrote the paper on a
computer. (Who was saving time? The computer.
paper?)

Seeking to lay off workers without taking the Seeking to lay off workers without taking the
blame, consultants were hired to break the blame, the CEO hired consultants to break the
bad news. (Who was seeking to lay off bad news.
workers? The consultants?)

- 12 -
3. Don't trust the grammar-checking programs in word-processing software. Many grammar checkers flag
all passive constructions, but you may want to keep some that are flagged. Trust your judgment, or ask
another human being for their opinion about which sentence sounds best.

The Paramedic Method is an effective process for helping eliminate passive voice.

THE PARAMEDIC METHOD

1. Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into)
2. Draw a box around the "is" verb forms
3. Ask, "Where's the action?"
4. Change the "action" into a simple verb
5. Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom)
6. Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups
7. Eliminate any redundancies.

- 13 -
Personal Pronouns
I and You
Dear editor, please avoid personal pronouns ‘I’ and ‘you’ in academic writing.
Use first person voice only in reflective writing or when the requirements openly
allow/require that. 'You' may be used in peer responses (response to other students'
discussion posts).

Academic arguments are not usually presented in the first person (using I). Rather than
share personal or emotional perspectives, the writers should use objective language, logic
and reasoning to persuade the readers.
This may not apply, however, if you are asked to write a reflective report based on your
own thoughts and experiences.

Sentence Variety
Too many sentences with the same structure and length can grow monotonous for
readers. Varying sentence style and structure can also reduce repetition and add
emphasis. Long sentences work well for incorporating much information, and short
sentences can often maximize crucial points. These general tips may help add variety to
similar sentences.

1. VARY THE RHYTHM BY ALTERNATING SHORT AND LONG

SENTENCES.

Several sentences of the same length can make your writing bland. To enliven
paragraphs, write sentences of different lengths. This will also allow for effective
emphasis.

Example: The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to find some
Native American art. In Anchorage stores they found some excellent examples of
soapstone carvings. But they couldn't find a dealer selling any of the woven wall
hangings they wanted. They were very disappointed when they left Anchorage empty-
handed.
Revision: The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to find some
native American art, such as soapstone carvings and wall hangings. Anchorage stores
had many soapstone items available. Still, they were disappointed to learn that wall
hangings, which they had especially wanted, were difficult to find. Sadly, they left
empty-handed.

- 14 -
 2. VARY SENTENCE OPENINGS.

If too many sentences start with the same word, especially The, It, This, or I, prose can grow tedious for
readers, so changing opening words and phrases can be refreshing. Below are alternative openings for a
fairly standard sentence. Notice that different beginnings can alter not only the structure but also the
emphasis of the sentence. They may also require rephrasing in sentences before or after this one, meaning
that one change could lead to an abundance of sentence variety.

Example: The biggest coincidence that day happened when David and I ended up sitting next to each other
at the Super Bowl.

Possible Revisions:
Sitting next to David at the Super Bowl was a tremendous coincidence.
When I sat down at the Super Bowl, I realized that, by sheer coincidence, I was directly next to David.
By sheer coincidence, I ended up sitting directly next to David at the Super Bowl.
With over 50,000 fans at the Super Bowl, it took an incredible coincidence for me to end up sitting right
next to David.
At the crowded Super Bowl, packed with 50,000 screaming fans, David and I ended up sitting right next
to each other by sheer coincidence.
Though I hadn't made any advance arrangements with David, we ended up sitting right next to each
other at the Super Bowl.

The information is adapted from PurdueOwl , the University of Leeds website, and the University of
Southern California website. You are welcome and highly encouraged to visit these websites and delve
more deeply into the topic.

- 15 -