The Art Listening

The Listening Center
Parliament of the Worlds Religions December 8, 2009

The Sacred Art of Listening
Opening
Welcome to The Listening Center – TLC - is really your center, the innermost part, where
you become the center for listening. Today we will explore the sacred nature of listening and
practices that support becoming a listening presence, the art of listening.
Listening and speaking are two components of communication. Most often speaking is
thought to be the more powerful role. However, listening can be more powerful, but is less well
understood. The quality of our listening can make a profound difference in any conversation. As
Quaker author Douglas Steere puts it: “To “listen” another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and
discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another.”
Definition of sacred art of listening

1. It is the art of becoming a listening presence.
2. It’s a way of being that opens us up so we can listen to people from diverse, cultures,
religions, belief systems and points of view, those not like us.
3. It’s about being a presence for understanding rather than for judging.
4. It’s about being open, curious, and attentive to others in such a way that at the end of
the conversation they have fully expressed themselves and feel more alive. When we understand
the power of sacred listening, we become aware that it is a key to communication in our global
community.
Listening has become a lost art.

Research on listening indicates that we spend about 80% of our waking hours
communicating: writing 9%, reading 16%, speaking 30% and 45 to 50 percent of our day
engaged in listening, to people, music, TV, radio, etc. About 75 percent of that time we are
forgetful, pre-occupied, or not paying attention. One of the factors influencing this statistic is that
the average attention span for an adult in the United States is 22 seconds. It’s no surprise to note
the length of television commercials, usually anywhere from 15 to 30 seconds. This constant
change of focus makes it more difficult to listen for any significant length of time. Immediately
after we hear someone speak, we remember about half of what they have said. A few hours later
we remember only about 10 to 20 percent. Yet, less than 5 percent of us have ever concentrated
on developing our skills in listening. When people hear these numbers, they often say: ―This is so
interesting. I know that I spend hours preparing to speak. I don’t think I’ve ever consciously
prepared to listen.‖
Prepare to listen
What I’ve discovered over these past few years is that the work that I do is all about
teaching people how to prepare to listen—to become a listening presence. Most of us have had
the experience of preparing to give a speech or make a presentation. There are classes in public
speaking available in almost every community. We know where to go to learn how to refine and
develop presentation skills. For the most part we never even think about what it might mean to
prepare to listen—to become a true listening presence no matter what the situation much less
how to go about doing so. Three practices are essential elements of this spiritual discipline:
cultivating silence, slowing down to reflect, and becoming present. Before discussing these
practices, however, I want to introduce three concepts about listening that provide a context for
that work
Listening as an art
Listening is more than hearing words and more than an action; it is an art. One of the
common themes of an art is the sense of being at one with it. Thinking about listening as an art
changes our perception of what it means to listen Rather than thinking of listening as an act,
something we ―do,‖ we recognize it as an art, something that we ―be,‖ as a part of who we are, a
way of being. We become a listening presence.
Listening as a choice
We choose whether we wish to listen. Most of the time, we are completely unaware that
we are making a choice. Learning that we have a choice to listen or to not listen is a very
powerful insight. We discover how much better we listen when we know that we have chosen to
listen, and how much less stress we have when we know that we have consciously chosen not to
listen.
Listening as a gift
Listening to another with rapt attention may be the greatest gift we give to each other.
When two people listen deeply to one another, we sense that we are present not only to each
other, but also to something beyond our individual selves, something spiritual, holy, or sacred.
Once we think about listening as a gift that we may either give or receive , we find a new light
shines on the value of listening.
Summary
Listening is half of all communication. It is often the forgotten part of presentations and
conversations.. Knowing that listening is an art and that we have a choice to give it as a gift, we
can now engage in the practices that prepare us to listen: cultivating silence, slowing down to
reflect, becoming present.
Practices
There’s a Cuban proverb that says: “Listening looks easy, but it’s not simple. Every head is a
world.
One of the keys to developing the capacity to listen more deeply is daily practice. Most of
us know that if we want to excel at any skill we need to practice. It is in the daily practice, the
spiritual discipline, that we prepare ourselves to listen. Then, when we need to listen deeply, we
will be able to focus on the speaker, remaining fully present and aware of what they are saying
and who they are being. Becoming a listening presence is critical to learning how to understand
―the other.‖
Cultivating Silence
There is no listening without silence. Listening to the silence, listening beyond words is also
called contemplative listening. It’s about taking time to be quiet and simply be. Getting
comfortable with silence is a practice that will transform your capacity to listen.
Slowing Down to Reflect

Reflective listening is listening to yourself - your True Self -getting to know the voice of your soul
Once we learn to know and trust this voice we find ourselves able to recognize when we need to
speak and when we need to listen.
Becoming Present
Deep listening occurs at the heart level. It is present when we feel most connected to another
person or to a group of people. Our hearts expand and our capacity to communicate with those
of differing beliefs and customs increases.
Three Daily Practices

1. Silence: spend at lease a minute each day in silence. Use intention to listen for God, source,
wisdom.
2. Relection: take a deep breath before you respond, listen to your soul – get to know yourself.
3. Presence: be mindful of each moment, pay attention – be with the person you are with.
For me, listening is really about opening up to love. ―Being listened to is so close to being loved
that most people cannot tell the difference.” David Augsberg
Conference Practices;
Notice when you choose to listen and when you choose not to listen.
Notice what it’s like to give the gift of listening to someone else and what it’s like to receive it.
Notice when you experience the art of listening – being a listening presence with another.
Notice when you start to interrupt someone and what happens when you don’t.
Notice what happens when someone stops speaking and you ask, ―Is there anything else?‖
Notice what happens when you let go of your agenda to be present with another.
Copyright 2009 Kay Lindahl

PO Box 3531, Long Beach, CA 90803-3531 562-987-5496
[email protected] www:sacredlistening.com

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The Listening Center

Parliament of the Worlds Religions December 8, 2009

Definition of sacred art of listening

Listening has become a lost art.

Slowing Down to Reflect

Three Daily Practices

Copyright 2009 Kay Lindahl

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