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Philippe Huneman
Death
Perspectives from the Philosophy of Biology
Philippe Huneman
CNRS/ Université Paris I Panthéon Sorbonne, Institut d’Histoire et de
Philosophie des Sciences et des Techniques, Paris, France
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Reading the six lines over, I thought each of them might make a
picture and wondered why I had not set about drawing from the
first. I discussed with myself why it is easier to poetise than to paint.
Having come so far, I felt the rest ought not to be so very difficult to
follow, though a desire seized me that I should now sing a sentiment
that defied colour and brush. The squeezing my head this way and
that way yielded more lines:
I read the whole piece over again. It was not so very poor; but as
a depiction of ethereal conditions I had just experienced, I felt
something still wanting. I might try to compose one more piece, and
with the pencil still between my fingers, I happened to look out of
the opened door way of my room to see at beautiful vision flitting
across the three feet space. What could it have been?
I now turned my eyes fully toward the doorway and the vision
had half disappeared behind the screen that stood pushed to one
side. It had apparently been moving before it caught my eyes, and
had now gone out of sight altogether as I stared in amazement
toward it. I stopped composing poetry, and instead I now kept my
eyes fixed on the open space in the doorway.
The clock had not ticked a full second when the vision returned
from the opposite direction to that which it had disappeared. It was
that of a slim woman in a wedding gown with long sleeves, walking
gracefully along the upstairs verandah of the wing of the hotel,
flanking my room. I did not know why, but the pencil fell from my
fingers, and the breath I was inhaling through my nose stopped of
its own accord. The sky was darkening, as if forewarning one of the
cherry season showers, to hasten the evening dusk; but the gowned
figure kept on appearing and disappearing in the heavily-charged
atmosphere, walking with benign gentleness along the verandah,
twelve yards away from me, overlooking an inner court.
The woman said nothing, nor looked either way. She was walking
so softly that the rustling of her silk gown seemed scarcely to catch
her ears. Some figures—I could not tell what from the distance—
adorned the skirt of her dress, and the figured and unfigured parts
shaded into each other like day into night. And the woman was
indeed, walking in the borderland of night and day.
What mystified me was what made her go so persistently to and
from along the verandah, dressed in her long-sleeved gown. Nor had
I any idea of how long she had been at this strange exercise in her
strange attire. There was, of course, no telling of her purpose. This
figure of a woman, appearing and disappearing across the open
doorway, repeating the incomprehensible movements, could not help
arousing a singular feeling in me. Could it be that she was moved by
her regret for the departing Spring, or how could she be so
absorbed? If so absorbed, why should she be dressed in such finery?
That resplendent obi, that stood out so strikingly in the hue of
departing Spring, lingering at the threshold of gathering dusk, could
it be gold brocade? I fancied the bright ornament, moving backward
and forward, enshrouded in the gray of approaching night, was like
glittering stars in the early dawn of a Spring day; that every second
went out one by one, in this distant depth and then in that of the
vast vault of heavens, vanishing gradually into the deepening purple.
Another fancy struck me as the door of night was gradually
opening to swallow into its darkness this flowery vision. Super-
nature! this sight of fading away from the world of colours, with not
a sign of regret, nor of struggle, instead of shining an object of
admiration in the midst of golden screens and silver lights. But there
she was with the shadow of darkness closing in on her, pacing up
and down rhythmically, the very picture of composure, and betraying
no disposition to hurry or dismay, but calmly going over the same
ground again and again. If it be that she knew not the blackness
falling upon her, she must be a creature of extreme innocence. If
she knew but did not mind it as blackness, then, there must be
something uncanny about her. Black must be her native home, and
thus may she be resignedly surrendering her visionary existence to
return to her realm of darkness, walking so leisurely between the
seen and unseen worlds. The inevitable blackness into which the
figures adorning her long-sleeves shaded seemed to hint where she
had come from.
My imagination took another turn, bringing before me a vision of
a beautiful person, beautifully sleeping. Sleeping, alive she breathes
herself away into death, without ever awakening. This must break
the heart of those watching anxiously around the bed. If struggling
in pain and agony, the dear ones attending might think it merciful
that death came at once, to say nothing of the wish of the patient to
whom life had become not worth living. But what fault could the
innocent child have been guilty of that she should be snatched away
in a peaceful sleep? To be carried away to Hades while in sleep is
like being betrayed into a surprise and having life taken before the
mind is made up. If death it must be, the dying should be made to
resign to Fate, and one should like to say a prayer or two, yielding to
the inevitable. But if the fact of death alone was made clear, before
its conditions had been fulfilled, and if one had a voice to say a
prayer, one would use that same voice in hallooing, to call, even
forcibly back, the soul that has put one step in the other world. To
one passing away in sleep, it may be hard to have the soul called
back, pulled back, as it were, by the bond of worries of life that
would otherwise break, and that one may feel like saying: “Don’t call
me back; let me sleep.” Nevertheless those around would wish to
call aloud. I thought I might call that woman in the verandah the
next time she came into view, to wake her up from her waking
sleep. But my tongue lost its power of speech no sooner had she
passed the opening like a dream. Without fail, the next time, I
thought. But again she passed and disappeared before I could utter
a word. I was asking myself how this could be, when again she
passed, and appeared not to care a rap that she was being watched
by one who was in a frenzied state of mind about her. She passed
and repassed in a manner that told that one like me had never at all
entered her mind. As I was repeating my “next time” in my mind,
the dark cloud above let down, as if no longer able to hold back, a
screen of fine, soft rain, dismally shutting out the shadow of the
woman.
CHAPTER VII.
Chilly! With a towel in hand I went down stairs for a warm dip.
Leaving my clothes in a small chamber, four more steps downward
brought me into the bath room which was about eight mats in size.
Stones appeared plentiful, in these parts, the floor of the room being
paved with fine granite, as was also the tank and its walls. The
reservoir which the tank really was, was a hollow in the centre of the
floor, about four feet deep and about as many feet square. This was
a hot spring which contained, no doubt, various mineral ingredients;
but the water in the basin was perfectly clear and transparent, and
tasteless and without odour as well, as some finding its way into the
mouth testified. The spring is said to possess medical virtues, but I
did not know for what kind of ailments, as I have not taken the
trouble to find out. Nor was I subject to any chronic disease, and
this phase of the matter had never occurred to me. Only a line of
poetry that comes to me, every time I take a dip is that of the
Chinese poet Pai Le-tien: