Listening

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Hearing vs.

Listening
Was I paying
attention?

Hearing vs. Listening


Do you think there is a difference
between hearing and listening?
You are right, there is!
Hearing is simply the act of perceiving
sound by the ear. If you are not hearingimpaired, hearing simply happens.
Listening, however, is something you
consciously choose to do. Listening
requires concentration so that your brain
processes meaning from words and
sentences. Listening leads to learning.

Most people
tend to be
"hard of
listening"
rather than
"hard of
hearing."

Listening
.
.
.
.

. . is intermittent.
. . is a learned skill.
. . is active.
. . implies using the message
received.

Obstacles to Effective Listening


Physical distractions
Physiological distractions
Psychological distractions
Factual distractions
Semantic distractions

Promoting Better Listening


Desire to listen.
Focus on the
message.
Listen for main ideas.
Understand the
speakers point of
view.

Promoting Better Listening cont.


Withhold judgment.
Reinforce the message.
Provide feedback.
Listen with the body.
Listen critically.

Types of Listening
Active vs. Passive
Positive vs. Negative
What Kind is it?

Appreciative
Empathic
Discriminative
Analytical

Listening Importance

Most frequently used communication


skill

Good listeners

50% of typical workday spent communicating


of this 50%, 45% is spent listening
45% of business persons salary earned
listening

are perceived as more intelligent


save time, energy, and other resources
increase chances for advancement and success

Interactive Listening

What is Interactive Listening?


Cultivated Skill involving the goaloriented active, positive process of
receiving and attending to aural
stimuli
Conscious elimination of
perceptual barriers

How Important is Interactive


Listening?
Critical for occupational
advancement
Leads to perception of intelligence
Saves time, money, and resources

Improving Your Listening Skills


Identify Objectives
Know Your Listening Habits
Generate Motivation and Energy
Eliminate Distractions
Ask questions
Closed
Open
Probing

Evaluate Your Progress

Effective Listening
Effective listening requires an
understanding that it is not just the
speaker's responsibility to make sure
he/she is understood.
The listener has a major role to play in
hearing the complete message.
The following ideas will assist the listener
in understanding the message.

Ten Commandments of Effective


Listening

1.Stop talking! You cannot listen when you are talking. You will only be thinking about what you
are going to say next instead of paying attention to what the other person is trying to say.
Consciously focus your attention on the speaker.

2.Put the speaker at ease: Relax, smile, look at the speaker and help that person feel free to talk.
Look and act interested. Remove distractions: turn off the TV; close the door; stop what you are
doing, and pay attention.

3.Pay attention to the nonverbal language of physical gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice,
and body posture. An authority on nonverbal language says that 55 percent of the message
meaning is nonverbal, 38 percent is indicated by tone of voice, and only 7 percent is conveyed by
the words used in a spoken message. Few people know how to listen to the eyes; what a tapping
foot means; a furrowed brow; clenched fist; the biting of nails. These often reveal the key feelings
behind the words.

4.Listen for what is not said. Ask questions to clarify the meaning of words and the feelings
involved, or ask the speaker to enlarge on the statement. People often find it difficult to speak up
about matters or experiences that are very important or highly emotional for them. Listen for how
the speaker presents the message. What people hesitate to say is often the most critical point.

5.Know exactly what the other person is saying. Reflect back what the other person has said in a
"shared meaning" experience
so you completely understand the meaning and content of the
message before you reply to it. A good listener does not assume they understand the other
person. You, as the listener, should not express your views until you have summarized the
speaker's message to his satisfaction.

6.Be aware of "tune out" words. These are words which


appear in the media that strike an emotional chord in the
listener and interferes with attentive listening (e.g. abortion,
nuclear war, communism, homosexuality). Avoid arguing
mentally. Listen to understand, not to oppose.

7.Concentrate on "hidden" emotional meanings. What are


the real feelings behind the words? What is the tone of voice
saying? What does the emphasis on certain words mean?
Notice how the meaning of the following question is changed
when you change the emphasis from one word to the next.

What do you want?

What do you want?

What do you want?

What do you want?

8.Be patient. Don't interrupt the speaker. This is


disrespectful and suggests you want to talk instead of listen.
Allow plenty of time for the speaker to convey ideas and
meaning. Be courteous and give the speaker adequate time
to present the full message.

9.Hold your temper! Try to keep your own


emotions from interfering with your listening
efficiency. When emotions are high, there is a
tendency to tune out the speaker, become
defensive, or want to give advice. You don't
have to agree to be a good listener. Don't
argue! Even if you win, you lose.
10.Empathize with the speaker. Try to "walk in
the other's moccasins" so you can feel what
that person is feeling and understand the point
of view the speaker is trying to convey.

Conclusion
"What is so important about listening? I listen!"
Sure you do. But how? How adept are you, for example,
in getting people to come right out and really talk to you?
Before you can get the most out of a listening situation,
others must first believe that you really want to listen.
They must feel that when they tell you something, it will
be received by you in the proper spirit.
Learn to listen beyond the words, with your heart as well
as your ears.
Observe the signs of the inner feelings such as voice
quality, facial expressions, body posture and motions,
etc. These actions are revealing, and sometimes may
have an opposite meaning from the spoken word.
A friend put it this way: "You listened as if you wanted to
hear what I was going to say, as if it was really important
to you. And that makes me feel good!"

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