Individual Oral Commentary

samples and grading

Note
Class responses on the extract and
commentary are provided with the
understanding that we may not have read
the work in question; and therefore, the
response is based on only the information
provided by the sample.

IB comments
Extract
24-line poem offers ample material
Detail from all other poems studied might be brought
into discussion to support comparisons and
contrasts
Shorter poems can be traps for unwary or
unprepared students
In original, extract included typographical errors and
guiding questions were difficult to read

IB comments
Questions
Neither offers any guidance as to how this
particular poem might be approached
Both address technique and underplay content
Both are generic asking about features that any
poem might have

Sample 4 Criterion A
2/5
Some knowledge but superficial
understanding
Rightly identified but little offered by way of
placing poem in context of works as whole
Context not further explored in subsequent
questions

Sample 4 Criterion B
3/10
Very little explanation of effects of identified
techniques
Interpretation of thought and feeling are never
developed
At no time is an overview attempted of what
student feels poem is about
Not sustained

Sample 4 Criterion C
3/10
Some evidence of structure, too brief and
underdeveloped to be awarded a 4
Short and hesitant section that interprets
one or two lines
None of subsequent questions enables
student to build anything more in way of
sustained/developed response

Sample 4 Criterion D
2/5
Lack of clarity and coherence
Too many sentences and assertions
remain unfinished
Vocabulary is sometimes a little vague and
imprecise

Sample 5
Class discussion:
In your opinion, is the extract suitable for
commentary? Explain.
Are the guiding questions appropriate to
the assignment? To the extract? To
guide an unsure student? Explain.

IB comments
Extract
Slightly exceeds 40 lines, but opening and closing
speeches couldnt be cut
Appropriately line-numbered
Questions
Generic (can apply to any extract or genre)
Balance between style and content
Should offset tendency to approach Shakespeare
as a reader instead of listener/spectator

Sample 5
Now listen carefully to the actual student
commentary on the extract. Make notes
as needed to be able to support the grade
you will give (later).
Immediately after the extract audio, grade
the commentary based on the IOC rubric.

Sample 5 Criterion A
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 5 Criterion A
3/5
Context very briefly established
To be reach level 4, needs greater sense
of what happens on stage immediately
before or after extract
No real connections established with
remainder of play

Sample 5 Criterion B
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 5 Criterion B
7/10
Repeated reference to reader (effect on
audience underplayed)
Use of relevant references and detail; some
effective analysis
Valid and generally detailed
Good interpretation of relationship revealed in
answers to subsequent questions

Sample 5 Criterion C
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 5 Criterion C
7/10
Slightly rushed and jumpy delivery; then
relaxes
Well-integrated use of references
Follows largely linear approach; maintains
implicit focus on characters and relationship
Repetition following lengthy pause not
viewed as detraction

Sample 5 Criterion D
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 5 Criterion D
4/5
Relaxed register with no significant lapses in
grammar
Clear attempt to use appropriate speech
Use of inappropriate terms (leadee)
balanced by appropriate use of some literary
terms
Desire to communicate response in varied,
interesting way for listener

Sample 6
Class discussion:
In your opinion, is the extract suitable for
commentary? Explain.
Are the guiding questions appropriate to
the assignment? To the extract? To
guide an unsure student? Explain.

Sample 6 Extract/Questions
Extract
Exceeds lines, but parting speech needed
Ample material for wide variety of approaches
Line numbering acts as reminder of split lines
Questions
Generic; could have more precisely focused on
particular extract
Asks for content and style in interconnected way
(purpose of commentary exercise)

Sample 6
Now listen carefully to the actual student
commentary on the extract. Make notes
as needed to be able to support the grade
you will give (later).
Immediately after the extract audio, grade
the commentary based on the IOC rubric.

Sample 6 Criterion A
4/5
Good rather than excellent, thorough or
precise
Correctly identified but more precise
placing not offered

Sample 6 Criterion A
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 6 Criterion B
9/10
Response is firm and convincing;
interpretation is valid, considered and
detailed
Evident understanding and awareness of
what is happening on stage and benefit of
this exchange being played in front of
whole court

Sample 6 Criterion B
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 6 Criterion B
Good awareness of experimentation of
blank verses interrupted lines though needs
more and crisper detail
Effects of caesura and enjambment need
more development
Shows awareness of other literary features
(metaphor, personification, and plosives)
and their effects, but could have further
explored these with precise evidence

Sample 6 Criterion C
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 6 Criterion C
10/10
Clear and purposeful structure with frequent
structural reminders and a clear conclusion
Independent presentation of just under 13
minutes
Aim is to show significance and importance of
extract of work as whole
Illustration and reference flows into discourse

Sample 6 Criterion D
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 6 Criterion D
5/5
In spite of the frequent and sometimes
distracting use of um throughout, this is a
correct, formal and lucidly delivered
presentation that fulfills the criteria for
level 5.

Sample 7
Class discussion:
In your opinion, is the extract suitable for
commentary? Explain.
Are the guiding questions appropriate to
the assignment? To the extract? To
guide an unsure student? Explain.

IB comments
Extract
Perhaps too long, but opens and closes
with Aphra Behn
Absence of line-numbering within single
block of single paragraph doesnt
facilitate nor encourage necessary
detailed reference

IB comments
Questions
Balanced
Second question particularly useful
guidance for students seeking to structure
literary response to non-fiction

Sample 7
Now listen carefully to the actual student
commentary on the extract. Make notes
as needed to be able to support the grade
you will give (later).
Immediately after the extract audio, grade
the commentary based on the IOC rubric.

Sample 7 Criterion A
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 7 Criterion A
4/5
Good knowledge of appropriate context
More of an analysis of how extract is key to
overall concerns of work than commentary
closely focused on internal workings of
extract itself
Recognizes origins but doesnt link to internal
clues or to rhetorical argument present in
extract

Sample 7 Criterion B
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 7 Criterion B

4/10
Interpretation not grounded in extract itself
Literary devices remain unexplored
Little attention paid to precise details and effects
Some awareness of humor

First question perhaps encouraged student to

Sample 7 Criterion C
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 7 Criterion C
4/10
Four areas of investigation mentioned as
framework
No subsequent control over pace and
direction of presentation
Digressions
Ample references to work tend to broaden
response instead of support precisely

Sample 7 Criterion D
Discuss the score given and the reasoning
behind it.
Compare to the actual score:

Sample 7 Criterion D
3/5
Talks effortlessly and volubly
Not always precision and control
appropriate to and necessary for formal
commentary
Style and register not consciously adopted

Homework:
Listen to sample 8 and grade it. You may
choose to listen to sample 9 or not to (I
would suggest that you do listen to it, even
if you choose not to grade it).
I will give you the grades and comments
for these samples next class.