ACADEMIC WRITING Patrick Evon

CLASS 6
 Patrick Evon (Pat)
15642682106
Wechat: patevon (best way to contact me)
Office: 11a424
Office hours: TBA
Email: [email protected]
Or
[email protected]
Wechat: Patevon
 INTERNET CONCERNS
•Study monitors should tell me who is not logged in ( please don’t cheat me)
•It may be boring. We are just working this out. I’m trying my best. Please don’t be
babies about it.
•There will probably be technical problems. Please be patient.
•This is part of your grade so take it very seriously. Participation in this internet class
will affect your grade!
•If there are problems or questions please tell me. Keep me informed!
• Study monitors can help me take role call. Please don’t cheat me.
•I will send materials each week with instructions to your study monitor. Please do
what I ask you.
 PRELIMINARY THINGS
I’ll send you the chapter 7 for next week. Please preview that.
continue talking about topics
I’ll also send you some pdfs and documents. These are not mandatory but reference
material. You can look at them if you want or use them to help you as you write the
paper.
The English department has recommended a series of videos on this topic. As I can’t
access them, I have sent the link to your study monitor. It is not mandatory that you
look at them, but as I have said, it has been suggested by the department and very
likely could be helpful.
1-2 Introduction of the course & Unit 1 An Overview of Academic Writing
3 Unit 2 Writing an Abstract,Unit 3 Writing an Introduction
Final evaluation:
4 Unit 4 Reviewing the Literature
Class performance
5 Unit 5 Describing Methods
6 Unit 6 Reporting Results and Discussion 20%;
7 Unit 7 Writing a Conclusion
8 Unit 8 Citation and Referencing & Introduction of Project and Research Report 1st assignment 15%;
9 Writing
2nd assignment 15%;
10 May Day Holiday
11 Project Conducting 1 ： Choosing a topic Research report
12
Project Conducting 2 ： Reviewing the Literature
13 writing 40%;
Project Conducting 3 ： Designing the Research Methods
14
15 Project Conducting 4 ： Collecting and analyzing the data Self-reflective report
Research Report Writing 1
16
Research Report Writing 2
10%.
17
18 Research Report Writing 3 & Unit 9 Revising and Proofreading
Self reflective report
(no final!!!!)

Note- this schedule is tentative and could possibly change. I’ll inform you if it does.
REVIEW-
Key Components Examples from the above abstract

 
A brief introduction of the
topic/reason of doing the
research

 
Research objectives/problem
statement/research question/

 
Research methods/procedure
 
Important results/key findings
 
Conclusions/recommendations

Box format
 
TABLE 1: FEATURES OF INTRODUCTION

Features Example from text

 
Introduction to topic
 
Background information
 
Justification
 
Outline of structure
 
Definition of key terms
 
Thesis statement
 
Writer’s purpose
 THESIS EXAMPLES
In order to get more girls interested in science, the approach must be two-
fold: first, put a greater emphasis on science, math, and technology classes in
school, and second, address the social stigma that surrounds women in
scientific fields.
Evidence has shown that music education promotes cognitive development,
so funding music programs at all levels of the school system should be a high
priority for state governments.
Considering the buoyancy, mass, and dimensions of Jack and Rose’s
makeshift raft, they could have both easily fit on the door at the end of
Titanic.
 LITERATURE REVIEW
1. Literature review ( or a research paper review) ( length depends of what you have to
say, but probably should be at least two pages long, possibly longer depending)
should have a intro-thesis- body, conclusion
 
According to Caulley (1992) of La Trobe University, the literature review should:
 compare and contrast different authors' views on an issue
 group authors who draw similar conclusions
 criticize aspects of methodology
 note areas in which authors are in disagreement
 highlight exemplary studies
 highlight gaps in research
 show how your study relates to previous studies
 show how your study relates to the literature in general
 conclude by summarizing what the literature says
 METHODS
 
Methods= just describes the methods you used. Should detail the ideas and the
means you got your results, including the plan and design of questionnaires,
why you chose your methods, why you used certain questions, and ect.
( probably one to three pages, but could be more in rare cases)
 W H AT Y O U S H O U L D K N O W

The information sought and population will determine the sampling methods. If inferences are to be
made, a representative sample will be sought, most likely through random sampling. If the population
varies according to geographical location or by special groupings (ethnic groups), then stratified
random sampling may be needed. If these locations or groups vary a great deal in size, then
proportional samplings within the strata may be necessary. If the population is quite widespread and
cost and other limitations prevent sampling individuals within the populations, then clusters such as
schools or classes within schools may be used with the randomization of clusters. If the information
about the population is so adequate that a representative sample can be logically chosen, then perhaps a
purposive sample might be used. However, sampling methods should be used only when measuring
the characteristics of the population is impossible due to cost, time, or other resource constraint. A
thorough, detailed explanation of the sampling techniques is necessary to establish the validity of the
information and findings.
The statistical methods used will be largely determined by the information sought. If descriptive
information is sought, then descriptive statistics, such as counts, percentages, means, and ranges, may
be the most adequate statistical tool. However, if inferences from a sample to a population are desired,
then inferential statistics and descriptive information will be needed. Whether comparisons or
relationships are sought, the measurement level (nominal, ordinal, interval) and the assumptions to be
met (normality of population, equal variances, etc.) will determine the type of inferential tool to use.
This information and statistical formulas, sources, and justifications should be clearly explained in the
procedures chapter.
 LANGAUGE FOCUS

Introduction
There has been a massive increase in the use of personal mobile phones over the
past five years and there is every indication that this will continue. According
to Black (2002) by 2008 almost 100% of working people in Australia will carry
personal mobile phones. Black describes this phenomenon as “serious in the
extreme, potentially undermining the foundations of communication in our
society” (2002, p.167).
Recently a number of staff have complained about the use of personal mobile
phones in meetings and asked what the official company policy is. In effect, there is
no official company policy regarding phone use. This report examines the issue of
mobile phone use in staff meetings. It does not seek to examine the use of mobile
phones in the workplace at other times, although some concerns were raised.
For the purposes of this report a personal mobile phone is a personally funded
phone for private calls as opposed to an employer funded phone that directly
relates to carrying out a particular job.
Methods
This research was conducted by questionnaire and investigated UniLab staff
members’ attitudes to the use of mobile phones in staff / team meetings. A total
of 412 questionnaires were distributed with employees’ fortnightly pay slips. The
questionnaire used Likert scales to assess social attitudes (Smith 2002) to mobile
phone usage and provided open-ended responses for additional comments.
Survey collection boxes were located in every branch for a four-week period. No
personal information was collected; the survey was voluntary and anonymous.
Results
There was an 85% response rate to the questionnaire. It can be clearly seen from
the results that mobile phones are considered to be disruptive and should be
turned off in meetings.
The survey also allowed participants to identify any circumstances where mobile
phones should be allowed in meetings and also assessed staff attitudes towards
receiving personal phone calls in staff meetings in open-ended questions. These
results showed that staff thought that in some circumstances, e.g. medical
treatment or emergencies, receiving personal phone calls were acceptable, but
generally receiving personal phone calls was not necessary.
Discussions
It can be seen that personal mobile phone use is considered to a problem;
however it was acknowledged that in some situations it should be permissible.
80% of recipients considered mobile phones to be highly disruptive and there was
strong support for phones being turned off in meetings (85%). Only 12% thought
that mobile phone usage in staff and team meetings was not a problem, whereas
85% felt it was a serious issue. The results are consistent throughout the survey.
Many of the respondents (62%) felt that in exceptional circumstances mobile
phones should be allowed, e.g. medical treatment, but there should be protocols
regarding this. These findings are consistent with previous studies. According
to Smith (2005) many companies have identified mobile phones as disruptive
and have banned the use of mobile phones in meetings. Havir (2004) claims that
29% of staff meeting time is wastefully spent through unnecessary mobile phone
interruptions. This affects time management, productivity and team focus.
Conclusion
The use of mobile phones in staff meetings is clearly disruptive and they should
be switched off. Most staff felt it is not necessary to receive personal phone calls
in staff meetings except under certain circumstances, but permission should first
be sought from the team leader, manager or chair.
 PURPOSE OF REPORTING
RESULTS & DISCUSSING
RESULTS
The purpose of a results section is to present and illustrate your findings. Make this section a
completely objective, accurate report of the results, and save all interpretation for the
discussion . In this section you objectively present your findings, and explain in words what was
found. This is where you show that your new results.
 
The aim of the discussion is to outline and explain the results and to relate them to others'
theories and results. It also should include some discussion and perhaps evaluation of the
methodology of the research and provide suggestions for further research.
 
Its pretty confusing, but generally, this section has two parts. One is just reporting results.
The second is discussing those results. The first part is very objective, just telling us what you
got, data. The second part is where you discuss the finding, meaning interpretation. This is
where you put your theories and ideas.
 Yes. This should be as objective as possible. If not, readers will question the results. This is simple
reporting; comments should be saved for later.
 RESULTS SECTION
( ) 1). Do not discuss or interpret your results, report background information, or
attempt to explain anything.
( ) 2). Never include raw data or intermediate calculations in a research paper.
( ) 3). Do not present the same data more than once.
( ) 4). Text should complement any figures or tables, not repeat the same
information.
( ) 5). Please do not confuse figures with tables - there is a difference.
 
 STRATEGIES ON WRITING
UP RESULTS SECTION
Summarize your findings in text and illustrate them, if appropriate, with figures and
tables.  
In text, describe your results, pointing the reader to observations that are most relevant.
Provide a context, such as by describing the question that was addressed by making a
particular observation.
Describe results of control experiments and include observations that are not presented in a
formal figure or table, if appropriate.
Analyze your data, then prepare the analyzed (converted) data in the form of a figure
(graph), table, or in text form.
 Tables an figures can be very effective. They make the information easily assessable.
However, don’t use them just to do so. Make sure it’s appropriate.
  
STEPS TO WRITING AN EFFECTIVE RESULTS SECTION:

1. Determine which results to present by deciding which are relevant to the question(s)
presented in the Introduction irrespective of whether or not the results support the
hypothesis(es). The Results section does not need to include every result you
obtained or observed.
2. Organize the data in the Results section in either chronological order according to the
Methods or in order of most to least important. Within each paragraph, the order of
most to least important results should be followed.
3. Determine whether the data are best presented in the form of text, figures,
graphs, or tables.
4. Summarize your findings and point the reader to the relevant data in the text, figures
and/or tables. The text should complement the figures or tables, not repeat the same
information.
5. Describe the results and data of the controls and include observations not presented
in a formal figure or table, if appropriate.
6. Provide a clear description of the magnitude of a response or difference. If
appropriate, use percentage of change rather than exact data.
7. Make sure that the data are accurate and consistent throughout the manuscript.
8. Summarize the statistical analysis and report actual P values for all primary analyses.
9. Use the past tense when you refer to your results.
10. Number figures and tables consecutively in the same sequence they are first
mentioned in the text. Depending on the journal, they should be in order at the end of
the report after the References, or located appropriately within the text of your results
section.
11. Provide a heading for each figure and table. Depending on the journal the table titles
and figure legends should be listed separately or located above the table or below the
figure. Each figure and table must be sufficiently complete that it could stand on its own,
separate from the text.
12. Write with accuracy, brevity and clarity.
 
 I DENTI FYI NG TYPES OF STATEMENTS ON REPORTING Q UANTITATI VE RES ULTS

Group Name Management Strategy Mother-tongue Strategy

Mean SD Mean SD
High-achievers 4.25 .464 2.32 .521
Average-achievers 3.52 .521 3.05 .563
Low-achievers 3.05 .400 3.68 .501
Table 1: The use of Management Strategy and Mother -tongue Strategy by three
different groups
There are three different types of statements on reporting quantitative results:
(1) signal statement
(2) technical description statement
(3) non-technical description statement
Read the following three descriptions and match with the above three types
The means and standard deviations of the use of different strategies by three groups of
students are displayed in Table 1.
 
It means that among the three groups, High-achievers used Management Strategy most
frequently, Low-achievers used it the least frequently and Average-achievers in between.
In contrast, Lower-achievers used Mother-tongue strategy the most frequently, High-
achievers used it the least frequently and Average-achievers in between.
 
As shown in Table 1, the mean of the responses to Management Strategy by High-
achievers is the highest (i.e. 4.25 on a five-point scale) among the three groups and the
average mean of the responses to Mother-tongue Strategy is the lowest (i.e. 2. 32 on a
five-point scale); while the average mean of the responses to these two strategies by
Lower-achievers are just the opposite to High-achievers, i.e. the average mean of their
responses to Management Strategy is the lowest among the three groups (i.e.3.05) and to
Mother-tongue Strategy is the highest (i.e.3.68). The Average-achievers are somewhat in
between. Specifically, their mean of the Management Strategy is lower than that of High-
achievers but higher than that of Low-achievers while their mean of the Mother-tongue
Strategy is higher than that of High-achievers but lower than that of Low-achievers
 FIGURES AND TABLES:

Either place figures and tables within the text of the result, or include them in the
back of the report (following Literature Cited) - do one or the other.
If you place figures and tables at the end of the report, make sure they are clearly
distinguished from any attached appendix materials, such as raw data.
Regardless of placement, each figure must be numbered consecutively and complete
with caption (caption goes under the figure).
Regardless of placement, each table must be titled, numbered consecutively and
complete with heading (title with description goes above the table).
Each figure and table must be sufficiently complete that it could stand on its own,
separate from text.
COMMENTARY IN RESULTS
SECTION
Type 1 Gives straightforward description of the author’s results; includes no commentary at all (no comparisons
with the work of others, no justifications, no-or very few- obvious highlighting statements

Type 2 Is mostly restricted to present findings, but includes a few minor uses of commentary.

Type 3 Consists of both description of findings and a number of commentary elements; uses several of the
categories mentioned by Thompson.

Type 4 Makes heavy use of commentary; uses most of the categories found by Thompson; could almost be taken
for a discussion.
 USE THE CHECKLIST BELOW TO
EVALUATE YOUR RESULTS WRITE-UP:

My results section...  

 focuses on my most important results.

 is clear and concise.

 lets my graphs and tables do the talking: I only describe general trends.

 has not omitted anything important.

 describes every table, graph and figure that is included.

 describes not discusses.

 DISCUSSING RESULTS
Each result reported should be followed by a proper discussion. This is the place to
illustrate the link between your study and the existing literature and to demonstrate your
comprehensive understanding of the research topic under investigation. Interpret your
data in the discussion in appropriate depth. This means that when you explain a
phenomenon you must describe mechanisms that may account for the observation. If your
results differ from your expectations, explain why that may have happened. If your results
agree, then describe the theory that the evidence supported. It is never appropriate to simply
state that the data agreed with expectations, and let it drop at that.
 
Generally speaking, if results deal with facts, then discussions deal with points; facts are
descriptive, while points are interpretive. Effective discussion sections are similar to effective
lectures, which, as Olsen and Huckin (1990) note, are based on points, rather than on facts.
 
Discussion should be more than summaries. They should be more theoretical, or more
abstract, or more general, or more integrated with the field, or more concerned with
implications or applications and, if possible, some combination of these .
 still try to remain as objective and fair as possible. As stated above, this is not easy.
Structure of Discussing Section (referring to the following outline)
I. First paragraph: begin with a statement of the major findings of the study.
A. Direct, declarative, succinct
B. Do not include data (this should be in the results section)
C. Do not refer to the study design (this should be in the methods section)
 
Examples:
Our results suggest that extraversion has no statistically significant relation
to academic achievement.
Our findings confirm that physical appearance has a significant impact on
assessment of intelligence.
 
Next, expand on your first point.
Examples:
It is important to note also that these results were consistent across all tested
ages and genders.
As such, the original hypothesis was not supported for this sample.
 
 Second paragraph: explain your results.
A. Why is this important or interesting?
B. What struck you most about your findings?
C. Were they as expected or not? If not, can you suggest why not?
 
Consider alternative explanations.
 
Example:
Hypothesis: GPA would have a positive relation to happiness
Results: no significant relation
Results: negative correlation between GPA and happiness
 
All studies have limitations.
A. What would you have done differently?
B. This can lead to suggestions for further research.
C. How can future researchers improve on your study?
D. What could a follow-up question be?
E. What is unclear in your study that could be addressed later?
 
Conclusion:
 USE THE CHECKLIST BELOW TO EVALUATE YOUR DISCUSSION SECTION
WRITE-UP:

In my discussion, I have...

 summarized my main results.

 interpreted (not described) my results.

 discussed the significance of my results.

 explained whether my results prove or disprove my hypothesis.

 discussed my results in the light of previous research (confirmed or refuted previous studies).

 explained the wider implications (importance) of my work.

 discussed any problems with or limitations of my study.

 made suggestions for improvements.

 suggested directions for future research.

 W H AT Y O U S H O U L D K N O W

Results:
In this section you objectively present your findings, and explain in words what was found. This is where
you show that your new results later contributing to the body of scientific knowledge, so it is important to
be clear and lay them out in a logical sequence. Raw data are rarely included in a scientific article;
instead the data are analyzed and presented in the form of figures (graphs), tables, and/or descriptions
of observations. It is important to clearly identify for the reader any significant trends. The results
section should follow a logical sequence based on the table and figures that best presents the findings
that answer the question or hypothesis being investigated. Tables and figures are assigned numbers
separately, and should be in the sequence that you refer to them in the text. Figures should have a
brief description, providing the reader sufficient information to know how the data were produced . It
is important not to interpret your results-this should be done in the discussion section.
 
Discussion:
In this section you describe what your results mean, specifically in the context of what was already known
about the subject of the investigation. You should link back to the introduction by way of the questions
or hypotheses posed. You should indicate how the results relate to expectations and to the literature
previously cited, whether they support or contradict previous theories. Most significantly, the
discussion should explain how the research has moved the body of scientific knowledge forward. It is
important not to extend your conclusions beyond what is directly supported by your results, so avoid
undue speculation. It is advisable to suggest  practical applications of your results, and outline what would
be the next steps in your study.
 L A N G U A G E F O C U S

Levels of Generalization
In the results section, statements may be quite specific and closely tied to the data.
 
As can be seen in Table 1, 84% of the students performed above the 12th-grade level.
Seven out of eight experimental samples resisted corrosion longer than the controls.
 
On the other hand, in the Abstract or in a summary section, space restrictions may
lead to a high level of generality.
 
The results indicate that the students performed above the 12th –grade level.
The experimental samples resisted corrosion longer than the controls.
 
In the discussion section, we usually expect something in between these two levels.
common device is to use one of the following “phrases of generality.”
 
Overall
In general
On the whole
In the main
With … exception(s)
Overall, the results indicate that students performed above the 12th – grade level.
The overall results indicate …
The results indicate, overall, that …
In general, the experimental samples resisted …
With one exception, the experimental samples resisted
2. The following passages are written using a personal style, which is
inappropriate. Rewrite the paragraph which follows avoiding the first-person
pronouns, at the same time, try refining the writing and being more concise.
Passage 1
In this paper we are presenting our analysis of our assignment on teamwork
development. The group we selected for this assignment (the survey team) were a
group of people who work for Advance Tours. We used two questionnaires
developed by Cacioppe (1998) to try to measure the performance of the team and the
way the team members felt about it. We then tried to present an analysis of the
findings and we made a few recommendations about what the team can do to
improve the way they work. Our recommendations are based a lot on what we read
in the journals etc., but we would also like to say something about our own life and
work experiences.
Passage 2
In this essay, I have decided that I am going to write about nutrition, because I think
it is a worthwhile subject. The sort of nutrition I will be talking about is on patients
admitted to a surgical ward. Firstly I will talk about under-nutrition then I will move
on to talk about malnutrition. We as nurses have done nutritional assessments and I
have noticed in the books and articles I have read and on my ward placement, that
nutritional assessment has become less important in terms of what the nurses do
there. I think we need to have more teaching on nutrition in our course here.
FOR NEXT CLASS
Look at the material I send you to preview the
class. Especially unit 7
Setting topics and thinking of research
questions.
Pay special attention to the “what is the results
document” I send you ( maybe will be helpful)