everybody give it up for this brand of green. round of applause for most under appreciated green

The thing I’m learning is that the more you love, the more it can hurt you, but the more you love, the more it’s worth it. So you can either be safe forever, or turn yourself into the kind of person who’d rather not be.

Which is sort of unfair when you think about it

If you care about something, anything that hurts it hurts you. But if you don’t care about something, it brings you no joy. Caring is suffering, and apathy is death. The only way to survive is to protect what you love, and to love as much as you can. And who among us asked for this? Who among the living came into this knowing our options? Nobody. But we still have to choose

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren’t spicy???

Regular pine needles are regular

Not by rosemary standards

…Have you eaten pine needles?

We’ve been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I’ve eaten pine needles or not

I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume

Of course I’ve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best

Are they…

You know, I’d love to tell you but I’m pretty unclear about what marks the difference between “spice” and “strong-tasting plant that isn’t considered a spice”

I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out

Ok but it only counts if they’re PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree

I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see

Please Don’t Do That

Needle-Like Leaf Roulette

…I’ll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.

I can try very hard not to

Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don’t have the sheath thing

It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves

Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life

this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again

god fucking dammit gimme a minute

Enter AERUH and MALUS SYL-VESTRIS, a pair of JESTERS.

AERUH I tell thee, rosemary is like a pine but with a spicy taste.

MALUS                         Art thou to claim that needles base of pine have not a spice?

AERUH A needle base of pine is merely base.

MALUS ‘Tis not when held, comparing, to anthos.

AERUH My dearest Malus, needles thou'st eaten?

MALUS How many moons have we as friends seen rise? How many suns have we as friends seen set? Thou sixteen seasons in my heart I’ve held, and hope that I in thine hast been the same. With brotherhood as rich and old as this, thou needst not ask me such frivolities.

AERUH I know thou likely has, to tell the truth, but I would not assume.

MALUS                       Well, yes, I have. A multitude of types I’ve eaten too. I’ll tell thee now: the best (though it is strange) is single-leaf pinyon.

AERUH                     And it has spice?

MALUS I truly wish that I could tell thee this, but now, i'faith, I cannot fully tell, the difference in classifying thus: to say “has spice” or merely “herbal strength”.

AERUH To tell this tale most clearly it would seem that eating needles from a pine’s required.

MALUS Aye, it would seem that that’s the task at hand, but caution tells that this is what’s to do: eat only needles of the honest pine, and none of lying leaf with pinelike shape.

AERUH I’ll eat them all.

MALUS                   I prithee, stay thyself.

AERUH Roulette with leaves.

MALUS                     At least restrain from yew.

AERUH I’ll do my best.

MALUS                That is all can we do. The scholars tell that needles true of pine can be distinguished from the lying yew by sheathlike clothing all along the base; the yew has no such guard.

AERUH                          With this new truth I now will venture out into the wood and seek the pines and pinelike fakes alike to stare them down and learn their secret truths.

MALUS With this thou canst at long and weary last Discover for thyself my life’s own path.

Exeunt.

Enter MACDUFF.

MACDUFF. Yo dudes that king there’s dead. Like dead as FUCK.

get this shit in angsty emotional moodboards NOW

aye aye capn

PLEASE THIS ROCKS

the idea of a clutch purse is nightmarish to me. the whole point of bags was so we could escape the torment of holding things. and now u gotta hold a bag.

put my cat on the cover of CRIME Magazine, where he belongs

if you think for one second that i’m exaggerating for effect

do not trust him

Can we get the good ending where this character goes outside for a walk and enjoys sitting down on a bench?

Im afraid thats just not possible

Fixed it!

one of my sexual fantasies is to have someone notice my absence and wonder about me

Why is his name Puss in Boots? It's like calling a rooster wearing socks Cock in Socks

Achievement Unlocked:

Rock Out With Your Cock Out

Hey you made the rhyme, don't chicken out now.

this is so cute 🥹

Appreciation post for all the beginner artists who work hard despite the AI ​​looming over us. You are fabulous. You are precious. Keep up the hard work, you are needed.

people are literally so boring a male character will kill 10000 people and steal candy from babies and theyll be like omg thats my king! but a female character is rude once and theyre like i hope she dies violently

reblog to support female characters violently killing people

we could go back to telegraphs instead of social media. send your mutuals unspeakable strings of morse code at 4:30am

.- …. …. …. …. …. / ..-. . .-.. .-.. / -.. --- .-- -. / .- -. -.. / -… .-. --- -.- . / -- -.-- / .--. . -. .. - … / - --- -.. .- -.-- / -.-- . --- .-- -.-. …. / --- ..- -.-. …. / -.-- --- ..- -.-. …. -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- / … . -. - / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- -.-- / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- .--. ….

personally i prefer semaphore

so prefacing this with the fact that I know that the fun is sorta taken out of this by me translating, but not everyone will have the energy to look it up themselves, so I figured I'd help out.

Morse code: AEEEEE FELL DOWN AND TROKE MY PENIT TODAY YEOWCE OUCH YOUCH!!!! SENT FROM MY TELEGRAPH

Semaphore: NO NOT YOUR PENITS

yeah okay ill reblog that

if empathy is a sin, sin boldly

he's so silly I can't omg

99.99% of rap haters have never even listened to rap. or if they have it's like one gangsta rap song & they treat the genre as a monolith and act like it's representative of every rap song ever. and well of course they are also just racist

first & last line still stand even if rap was a monolith and all rap was gangsta rap. btw

Rap is great! Everyone knows the worst genre of music is country

99.99% of country haters have never even listened to country. or if they have it's like one post-9/11 pop country song by a rich poser & they treat the genre as a monolith and act like it's representative of every country song ever. and well of course they are also just classist

i would lecture you about the importance of jazz in US history and african american history and music history but you're a swiftie so there is no hope for you

oh no hun I'm sorry, we not doing gospel slander in my house

couldnt leave this in the tags