Who else up thinking about bjj black belt craig jones saying You can give anyone steroids. Despite our best efforts we are yet to give anyone autism.

There’s a guy at my gym we call Batman cause he’s batshit wild hyperfixated on good agility and muscle building maintenance and technique at all times. He does like five different martial arts and can do like one arm handstand push-ups and shit. It’s the wildest thing I’ve ever seen and he does it with zero drugs. If he wanted to fight crime he could. Autism with a fitness/martial arts special interest is absolutely a superpower

I SHOT THE HEAD OFF THE CPR MANNEQUIN WHAT THE HELL

IM GONNA PISS MYSELF JFC

ok so the last time i got cpr certified was when i was a tiny lil thing in high school to be a lifeguard for the kiddie swim lessons we taught. so its been a minute, yeah?

i am required to be cpr certified in my position at my job, smth that has not been brought up at ALL in the last 3 years ive been here, so i went to retake the course and all that. I went with a coworker, we partnered up and named our dummy Charles because we're cool like that. ended up having to use the table instead of the floor because of my bad knee and recently healed ankle, so we're above everyone else. We get charles ready, and i end up going first as the first responder, so i'm going over the process in my brain. 30 compressions at 100-120BPM, two respirations, AED, etc. etc. I was also remembering how hard it was to do proper compressions in my tiny little body at 14, so I knew it took more force than i thought to get the compressions deep enough, so i prepared to have to use my body weight and fucking send it. But! it turns out, since im not 4'11" anymore it was in fact Not Very Difficult to get past 2 inches, so it was fine and the instructor actually told me to ease up. I did awesome, compressions were deep and at proper rate, gold star for me.

however, my brain did not connect the dots that if the compressions would take less force, so would the respirations. Me at 14 had to use my full lung capacity to get the chest to rise at all, so I, with my full adult lung capacity and 10+ years of competitive swim, vocal training with breath support, and occasional dabble into brass instruments as I make my way around an orchestra, decide that I need to still full blast for the thing to work. i have to save charles, after all, so fucking send it ig. two very fast, very HARD breaths.

charles's chest plate lifts off and resettles incorrectly, i am none the wiser because i am (wrongly) focusing on the fucking little LEDs on the dummy being green instead of actually registering the movement of the chest like youre supposed to. My coworker, however, has noticed that charles might be A Little Fucked Right Now, and tries to get my attention, but i am FOCUSED because you gotta do the full two minutes and all that. so i switch back to the compression.

the chest plate, no longer in proper position to hold the head in place, clicks weirdly, and next thing i know the charles's head fucking LAUNCHES off into the fucking wall, nearly missing another person's head. his chest flipped up off his body and his head is gone and trailing that little plastic bag that the air you breathe into, completely deflated.

i fucking OVERINFLATED the bag to the point where when i did a compression it fucking POPPED and sent the head flying. the class had to stop for a full fucking 15 minutes to get itself together while i melted into my chair in embarassment i wanted to DIE

the instructor was fucking dying she was all like, 'ok you remember when i was giving the list of instances when you can stop cpr? you can stop now because he's dead' AND EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING AT ME AND MY COWORKER WAS FUCKING HEAVING AND WHEEZING HARD ENOUGH TO FALL OUT OF HIS CHAIR AND IM SO FUCKING MORTIFIED

I DECAPITATED CHARLES IN A CLASS ON HOW TO SAVE SOMEONES LIFE SOMEONE FUCKING KILL ME

it’s so important for your health to regularly interact with people at least a decade older than you who aren’t family, especially as a young person.

When my 45 year old teammate gives me advice on mental health and I know she understands because she’s had a tough adult life.

When my 32 year old friend tells me his life started improving for the first time the year she turned 30.

When the 60 year old man at the soup kitchen gives me permission to grieve by telling me I’m ‘just a baby’ with only gentleness in his voice.

It’s so much easier to abandon and break out from the cultural idealisation of youth when you surround yourself with wonderful people in all stages of their lives.

Man: What’s a matter girl, you had a little bit too much corn?

Pig: *very long disgruntled groan which rises in pitch*

Man: Is that a yeah?

Pig: *shorter groan*

Man: Okay.  Here I come, I gotta get the intoxicated pig… Look at this pig…

Pig: *quiet snort*

Man: Hey!

Pig: *snort*

Man: Are you messed up, girl?  

Pig: *short snort*

Man: Never seen a damn pig… Look at that, that one here’s fine, that one there is fine, this one here is turned belly up 

Pig: *snort snort snort snort*

Man: Hey you

Pig: *snort*

Man: Whoa!  Whoa!  Shit!  [Unintelligible] HOWH!  Come here girl! 

Pig: *grunt grunt grunt*

Man: Holy hell, fuck…I didn’t mean to do that

“Whoa! Woah! Shit The Bed Almighty!” Is my new favorite expletive

and if anyone’s wondering, the man (from Cecilia, Kentucky, USA) had emptied a broken deer feeder full of accidentally fermented corn into a field where no animals were supposed to be. the pigs broke out of their pen, got into the corn, and the one you see here seriously overindulged

they observed her overnight and got Animal Control to do a check-up on her. she’s fine

so yes, you you can enjoy the video without worrying about Drunk Pig

source

the libertarian fantasy of safety regulations existing due to sadistic enjoyment of government officials oppressing the innocent small business is kind of hilarious the more you think about it. I hope there is actually a guy out there who just fucking LOVES recalling unsafe food in a sicko sort of way. i'd respect him.

I’d want to know him biblically, but you do you

I feel like "trump wants to throw away literal dinosaur fossils" would really turn heads if we actually had a functional opposition party in this country to get messages out, but I guess I'll just have to get a paint pen and write it on my car. fine, I'll do it.

Trump and friends are trying to get rid of IMLS (Institute of Museum and Library Science, USA Federal agency). Everyone is on leave/in admin limbo while the DOGE kids do whatever and lock people out of their emails. Already-awarded federal grants (that's how I get paid) for museums and libraries are now being terminated early via executive order. Museums are already closing (to be fair it has been bad for decades) and a lot of large and delicate fossil material will need new homes with space and funding, which almost no one has. It's bad. I don't know what to do except to keep working and occasionally scream into the internet.

Not trying to be a bummer, but this is pretty much the only thing anyone at my job can think about right now. I can only speak for museums, but specimens need periodical tending or they will decay or get lost. Grant funding is how we do everything: it's how temporary workers get paid, how we get access to subscription-based software, and it's how we buy new label paper for cripes' sake. We are still fighting, but everyone is honestly loopy with stress all the time now. People should know what they are destroying.

Pope's Francis' death: what happens now?

The conclave will take place in the Sistine Chapel. The cardinals will decide on which day is starts based on practical considerations.

How does the conclave work?

If your life is horrible and you need a new source of meaning and direction.... Do NOT find religion. Learn to identify plants.

ppl keep taggin this post "or! you can learn birds instead" ....which is......fine but..... :( don't u care about plants? :( all my beautiful blorbos in kingdom Plantae? leafs? :( :( :( flowers? :( :( :( our little green neighbours???? :( :( :( 🌸🌱🌾🌿🌳☘️🪴🌲??

U could still learn about plants....if u felt like it....even if u know about birds....plants are cool too........ https://bsbi.org/identification ... if u want............

this comic by raven lyn clemens.... Yeah

This is my first reaction to maybe 25% of all political posts online

ok i just got this thought out of nowhere but blog divers (people who scroll through a blog and reblog things that were posted YEARS AGO) are actually a super important part of the tumblr ecosystem

With people going inactive and deactivating, a lot of classic tumblr posts and also missed gems get lost because those connections get broken. Even on my own blog I forget about posts I made until I see someone in my activity reblog one of them- which then inspires me to reblog it myself because it was a good post and I want my new followers to see

do not feel bad about diving through someone's blog and reblogging shit from years ago, it keeps dashboards alive

(and if anyone has a problem with that, they can just block you or they can delete the root post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, two things that have absolutely no effect on the grand scheme of our lives)

Cycling nutrients (old tumblr posts) from the ocean floor (mutual's blog archive) to increase (dashboard) ecosystem productivity

Whale Fall Scavengers Spreading Vital Nutrients From The Surface Back Into The Ecosystem

Foragers (2022, Jumana Manna 🇵🇸)

Za’atar and akkoub are popular herbs in Palestinian culture and cuisine. In 1977, however, Ariel Sharon declared za’atar a ‘protected plant’, rendering its foraging, possession or trade a criminal offense. Akkoub suffered a similar fate when it was labelled protected in 2005. Those who pick za’atar and akkoub subsequently became lawbreakers and in many cases were indicted and convicted. The picking of za’atar and akkoub, nonetheless, continues while many regard it as an act of resistance. (src)

I’ve heard Native women talk about this aspect of settler-colonialism in the US and Canada, too. The roots and berries they’ve been picking (and cultivating) for food since time immemorial gets declared a protected species and they’re not allowed to harvest them anymore - all the while, housing developments and pipelines and so on destroy enormous swathes of the same plants they’re trying to use and protect.

Za'atar and akkoub seem to refer to Origanum syriacum and various species in the genus Gundelia, respectively.

the devil on my shoulder is telling me to Post a Take. i am gently ignoring them. let us all consider the humble indigo bunting instead

Imagine romanticizing the grind when you live in a universe that has a large expanse of grasslands and colorful endemic birds

Lighter than a butterfly...

AMAZING !

That is absolute trust.