Talk:Mayoralty of Pete Buttigieg/GA2

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Bait30 (talk · contribs) 00:38, 3 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'd like be the one to re-review this. I'll review prose first going down the page by section, then do images, then do references last. Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 00:38, 3 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

per MOS:ORDER, the image should be above the sidebar template. (1b)
Not GA-scope, but there's some extra whitespace at the top of the article for some reason and I'm not sure what's causing it.
- I think it has to do with {{Pete Buttigieg series}}. Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 05:49, 7 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Not GA-scope, but try to fix the MOS:CURLY quotes.
As mentioned in the previous review, the lead is still really choppy. For example, there are two paragraphs with three sentences and one paragraph with only one sentence. And it doesn't help that there are some MOS:LEADREL issues. For example, I'm not sure why the 1000 properties in 1000 days gets such a large share of the lead when there are only five sentences about it in the body. (1b)
Needs to be a period after "Smart Streets". (1a)

Election and transition

section seems good.

First term

Policing

I don't think the parentheses are necessary in the "Boykins had first been appointed..." sentence. (1a)

Housing, urban development and blight removal initiatives

"He also supported the development of the "Renaissance District" nearby this": this sentence is poorly worded. (1a)
"One of the major private developments...": this is a wordy sentence as also kinda WP:PUFFERY-y to me. (1a/1b)
"The city ultimately invested $5 million in related projects, such as an adjoining section of riverwalk.": This sentence is not clear. Does related projects mean other condominiums or other buildings near the river? Does adjoining section of river walk mean a section next to the condominiums, the Century Center, or the river itself? (1a)
"Buttigieg was a leading figure...": WP:PUFFERY. (1b)
"A significant example was the former Bendix Corporation headquarters...": more puffery. (1b)
- "A significant example was the former Bendix Corporation headquarters and factory, which the city sold to Curtis Products in 2014". This indeed was a significant example of a city-owned property which was sold off. Does not seem to be puffery. Nevertheless, I removed the word "significant" and just described it as "an example"
"One of Buttigieg's signature programs...": more puffery. (1b)
- I disagree that the section on the "Vacant and Abandoned Properties Initiative" is puffery.
  - Describing it as a "signature program" is not puffery. It has been described as such by many media outlets, and indeed was a signature project of his first term. Much like one could say that the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act was a signature legislation of Obama’s first term, without running into puffery concerns, one could call this a signature program of his first term without running into puffery.
  - Describing that it met its goals, and at a faster rate than promised, is not puffery.
    - I wasn't saying the whole section is unnecessary, just the "signature" part. However, you do raise a good point. I would say though that there are many sources that refer to the Affordable Care Act as one of Obama's signature policies, so until one is added, it would be WP:OR. Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 00:28, 4 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
      - I added this source which calls the "Vacant and Abandoned Properties Initiative" a "signature initiative" of Buttigieg's. Also, for "smart streets", I added this source which calls it his "signature transportation project" and this source which calls it "his signature ‘Smart Streets’ initiative". SecretName101 (talk) 00:16, 6 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Missing punctuation after "demolished or repaired". (1a)
"Buttigieg would later acknowledge...": MOS:REALTIME. (1b)
"This would eventually lead...": MOS:REALTIME. (1b)

Other civic matters

"In June 2012...": the end of the sentence seems kinda redundant and could be made more concise. (1a)
"In May of 2013": everywhere else, "Month Year" is used. This is the only place where it's "Month of Year".
"Buttgigieg" to "Buttigieg". (1a)
"In 2014, Buttigieg reconvened the city's Green Ribbon Commission, established by his predecessor, Luecke, in 2009 to assess ways to reduce city's negative impact on the environment.": this is a very grammatically complex sentence and I'm pretty sure there should be a comma after 2009. (1a)
- "Established by his predecessor, Luecke, in 2009 to assess ways to reduce city's negative impact on the environment". You are wrong, I believe. No comma is needed after "2009". Without the part clarifying that his predecessor was Luecke, would the sentence not be written “established by his predecessor in 2009 to assess….” rather than "established by his predecessor, in 2009, to assess….”?
  - This just shows how long and complex the sentence is. I thought you were trying to say that "Buttigieg reconvened the Commission to assess..." not that "Luecke established it in 2009 to assess..." Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 23:15, 3 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Service in Afghanistan

This section is good.

RFRA opposition and coming-out

Also good

Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 21:31, 3 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Second term

Reelection in 2015

Section is good.

Environment

try to find a way to mention that the Common Council is the name of South Bend's city council. Just a quick little mention so that you don't go into unnecessary detail. (3)

Housing and urban development

"In 2016, the City of South Bend partnered with the State of Indiana...": this is mentioned earlier in the "Housing, urban development and blight removal initiatives". I would probably remove it from that section since it doesn't go as in-depth as it does under the second term section. (3b).

I'm not so sure about removing it from that section. He was promoting the project in his first term, so it should probably be mentioned that he did in the section about his first term. SecretName101 (talk) 01:38, 6 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"However, this project was scrapped by the city, due to the being unable to find a location due to opposition from prospective neighbors": sentence is very long and complex. The "due to the being unable" part is especially confusing.
"$3 million grant from the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development": there should be a comma I think after Development. (1a)

I don't think there should be a comma. Similarly structured sentences like, "This all depended on John receiving a hammer from Jaime to use for his project" would not include a comma. SecretName101 (talk) 01:36, 6 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Infrastructure and transportation

"Under buttigieg" -> "Under Buttigieg". (1a)
Is "smart sewer" supposed to be lowercase or should it be capitalized like "Smart Streets"?
"and other deficiencies were remedied": is this supposed to be "and that other deficiencies be remedied"? Otherwise that part doesn't make grammatical sense. Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 00:19, 4 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Parks and green spaces

"Buttigieg had been arranging": while technically there's nothing wrong with this, the use of past perfect progressive here is a bit weird.
"At 313 acres...outside city boundaries": seems extraneous to me. (3b)

Police and fire services

"This got budgeted to be launched in 2020" should be "This was budgeted...". (1a)

Other matters

"the cards asa" to "the cards as a". (1a)
"Criticism has been made...": this sentence needs to have citations. (2b)
"petitioned the city to allow it to rezone a residential property to allow it to open". This is unclear. Usually municipalities are the ones doing the rezoning. For example, a business can ask the city to rezone a block from residential to commercial. This makes it seem like the crisis pregnancy center is doing the rezoning which doesn't make sense. And the repeated "to allow it to" makes it more confusing. (1a)

Succession as mayor

This section is good.

Speculations about higher office and national political involvement

This is good too.

Analysis of Buttigieg's leadership style

A bit short, but still is good.

Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 00:19, 4 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Images

Bike lane image: It would probably be best to just remove it. It's just a picture of a random bike lane marking from before Buttigieg's time as mayor. (6b)
All images are appropriately tagged and captioned.

Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 00:34, 4 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

References

I'll be using this version of the article when referring to reference numbers.

Ref 2: dead link. (2b)
Ref 5: needs to show that it comes from ABC 57 or whatever that station is called. (2b)
Ref 10: dead
Ref 16: nothing wrong with this, but a helpful tip, you can create a clipping of the specific story on Newspapers.com that way people without the subscription can also see the article.
Ref 20, 21, 44, 52, 62, 93, 109: dead
Ref 136 and 140: not really within scope, but these refs are the same.
Ref 146 and 147: again not within scope of GA review, but duplicate refs.
Ref 152: Access denied.
Just as an aside, it's kinda funny that all the Fox News articles in the article clearly have a negative viewpoint of Buttigieg.

Not surprising though. Hence, why there are very few citations from Fox News. They definitely have an agenda in what they choose to report on. SecretName101 (talk) 01:40, 6 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA template

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
the only reason I haven't approved yet for copyvio is because the copyvio detector isn't working for me right now. I'll try again later.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
the 3b stuff is super minor.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 03:53, 4 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Copyvio check

I ran Earwig on it and found some close paraphrasing[1][2] That's it. (t · c) buidhe 05:08, 5 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The "paraphrasing"" appears to be almost entirely quotes by Buttigieg. SecretName101 (talk) 23:55, 5 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

That's not accurate.

The article states, "He built a national profile as an emerging dark horse in the race for the chairmanship with the backing of former DNC chairman Howard Dean". The source states: "Buttigeig, 35, built a national profile as an emerging dark horse in the race for the chairmanship with the backing of former DNC Chairman Howard Dean."
Article states, "higher rates of threats, harassment, and violence at abortion clinics near crisis pregnancy centers" Source mentions "higher rates of threats, harassment, and violence for clinics near crisis pregnancy centers."

These copied phrases, just some examples (there are more) are not acceptable. (t · c) buidhe 04:22, 11 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Based on Buidhe's comments, I decided to take a look at the Earwig for this article (this time it worked for me). I found quite a few copyvios:

Wikipedia: Buttigieg and the board of the Housing Authority of South Bend requested that the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development conduct a "full audit and investigation" of allegations of improperly awarded contracts.

Source: The housing authority board and Mayor Pete Buttigieg request that the federal Department of Housing and Urban Development conduct a “full audit and investigation” of allegations that contracts were improperly awarded.

Wikipedia: In October 2014, after the board failed to submit a plan to fix the agencies problems, the federal officials urged Buttigieg to take action, "including the possibility of replacing all or some existing board members".

Source: October 2014: After the board fails to submit a plan to fix the problems, federal officials urge Buttigieg to take action, “including the possibility of replacing all or some existing board members.”

Wikipedia: Boykin sued the city for racial discrimination, arguing that the taping policy had existed under previous police chiefs, who were white.

Source: Boykins sued the city for racial discrimination, arguing that the taping policy existed under previous police chiefs, who were white.

Please take a look at the earwig and fix these and other problems that show up there. Normally I would have just failed it, but since you have already put in a good amount of changes, I'll give you the chance to clean up these copyvios. Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 03:22, 12 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, was not pinged, will address these now. SecretName101 (talk) 20:35, 15 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

SecretName101, let me know when you've completed you're revisions and are ready for me to take a look again. Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 02:44, 24 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Bait30: I believe I am finished with my revisions. SecretName101 (talk) 02:34, 25 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- I'm happy to say that I believe your revisions have brought the article to GA status! Bait30 ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 03:29, 25 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@Bait30: Thank you for your work in reviewing the article, suggesting the needed changes, and allowing me time to make them. SecretName101 (talk) 11:28, 25 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.