EXCLUSIVEMy home is a haunting scene, our loved ones are gone and terror could strike again. I'm still going back
A brave widow who endured weeks of terror as a Hamas hostage has revealed why she made the extraordinary decision to return to the home where terrorists killed her beloved husband and a quarter of her close-knit community.
Liat Azili, who was captured from her safe room in Kibbutz Nir Oz during the October 7 massacre, spent six weeks in captivity without knowing her husband Aviv had been brutally murdered while defending their community.
The devastating attack left the tiny Kibbutz - located just two miles from the Gaza border - in ruins, with one in four residents either killed or kidnapped by Hamas.
Now the kibbutz, still riddled with bullets holes and burned homes, is preparing for its first round of residents to return. And Azili plans to be among the first to go back.
The US-Israeli teacher and her husband, who married when they were just 23, had lived there together happily since 1994.
At first the mother of three initially refused to even consider returning. But a conversation with her eldest son changed her mind.
Speaking to Dailymail.com, Azili recalled: 'He said, "You know, it's what Aviv would do."
'I kept telling myself, maybe I don't want to live in Nir Oz when I go back, but Aviv is probably there, and he'd probably want to stay.'
'It just sort of became obvious to me that that's what I wanted to do. It's what he would have done - what he would have wanted. At least, I think so,' she added.
Liat Atzili, a school teacher, walks out of her home in Kibbutz Nir Oz. On October 7, her husband was murdered while trying to protect the community. His body remains unrecovered. She was held hostage in Gaza for months and still hopes to return to her home someday soon.
The kibbutz, famous for its lush botanical gardens and wandering peacocks, is set to begin reconstruction this summer. Azili plans to be among the first to return
The kibbutz, still riddled with bullets holes and burned homes, is preparing for its first round of residents to return home (The door of the kibbutz leading into the dining room with bullet holes is pictured)
The community - one of the hardest-hit during the attack with 38 residents killed and 75 kidnapped - faces an uncertain future.
While older residents and some of Azili's generation plan to return, many younger families remain hesitant.
'Some of them would very much want to go back, but they feel it's maybe not a good decision for their children,' she explained.
For some, the fear of danger is overwhelming; for others, the memories are too haunting to bear.
Just a few feet from Azili's home stands the empty shell of what was the Bibas family house.
It was from here that nine-month-old Kfir, the youngest hostage taken by Hamas, was kidnapped with his family. Kfir turned one year old while in captivity last January. If still alive, he will turn two next month.
Next door to the Bibas home is the house of the American-Israeli Siman Tov family. Tamar and Yonatan Siman Tov, along with their five-year-old daughters Shahar and Arbel and son Omer, two, were all slain together while hiding in their safe room.
Azili endured six weeks as a hostage in various family homes in Gaza before being released in the first prisoner exchange.
Her two sons were also in the Kibbutz during the attack but survived only to find both their parents gone - not knowing if they were dead or alive.
A memorial now stands in the center of the kibbutz, marking the spot where Aviv, along with three other men, bravely defended against the hundreds of terrorists who flooded their peaceful community
What's left of Atzili's bathroom remains untouched, with a toothbrush and skincare still scattered amidst the charred remnants of her home
Azili standing in her the remnants of her home
For Azili, returning is about honoring both the living and the dead.
'It's their life's work,' she said of the elderly kibbutz members who have lived there since their 20s. 'I feel I owe it to them to keep the place alive.'
Azili now leads tours through the devastated kibbutz, delivering a 'complex' message about moving forward.
'I think we don't have a choice,' she said of the need for peace. 'There are 14 million people living here between the river and the sea, and nobody's going anywhere, so we might as well find ways to live together.'
Nir Oz was home to several long-time peace activists, including 83-year-old Oded Lifshitz, who is still being held hostage, and was among the founders of the Kibbutz.
Like many residents, Lifshitz regularly transported patients from Gaza to receive medical treatment in hospitals across Israel.
Flyers advertising protests promoting peace between Palestinians and Israelis still hang on the kibbutz bulletin board scheduled for Oct 7, 2023 - a day where instead those would-be participants were slaughtered.
Despite the horror Azili endured - the loss of her husband and her time as a hostage - she still clings to hope for peace.
Azili speaks as Israelis gather for a passover ceremony and to call for the immediate release of the remaining hostages, in the Israeli Kibbutz Nir Oz on April 11, 2024
Liat Azili and her husband Aviv
Aviv Azili is pictured. For Liat, her connection to Aviv lies in the quiet agricultural workshop where he spent his days fixing tractors and crafting metal art inspired by the fields he loved
A family photo with Liat, her husband Aviv and three children
Liat Azili and her family pictured
'We don't have to be friends, we don't have to like each other,' she said. 'But living from war to war - what kind of life is that?'
What matters most to Azili now is focusing on preserving Aviv's metal artwork, the kibbutz's renowned botanical gardens, and the spirit of the community that made Nir Oz home.
Aviv, a talented mechanic and artist who created intricate pieces from metal machine parts, was killed while trying to protect the Kibbutz during the massacre. His body remains in Gaza.
A memorial now stands in the center of the kibbutz, marking the spot where Aviv, along with three other men, who bravely defended against the hundreds of terrorists who flooded their peaceful community on that Saturday morning.
But for Azili, her connection to him lies elsewhere - in the quiet agricultural workshop where he spent his days fixing tractors and crafting metal art inspired by the fields he loved.
'He lived for 49 years. He died in just two minutes,' Azili told DailyMail.com. 'I don't want those two minutes to have meaning to me.'
'That's where I really feel his presence,' she said of his workshop. 'He spent a lot of time there, doing what he loved. He liked his job a lot.'
'He really left a mark there,' she added.
A flyer advertising an event promoting peace between Israelis and Palestinians and the end to West Bank settlements that was scheduled on Oct 7, 2023, still hangs on the Kibbutz bulletin
Just a few feet from Azili's home stands the empty shell of what was the Bibas family house - a haunting reminder of the brutal attack (a memorial in front of the home is pictured)
Next door to the Bibas home is the house of the American-Israeli Siman Tov family. Tamar and Yonatan Siman Tov, along with their 5-year-old daughters Shahar and Arbel and son Omer, 2, were all slain together while hiding in their safe room
Tables set in the main dining room of Kibbut Nir Oz for all those who have been kidnapped or in memory of those who were killed
Hostage signs with faces and names of residents are posted at the entrance of the Kibbutz honoring those still kidnapped by Hamas
The mailboxes at Nir Oz. Black means they are held hostage, red means they were murdered and blue means taken and released
Aviv, beloved by the community, was known for his kindness and warmth.
'Every person who met him for 10 minutes felt that he was their best friend,' Azili said. 'He was really, really kind and lovable.'
Azili recalled a touching daily routine between her and her husband.
'The workshop where he worked is right at the entrance to the kibbutz. A lot of times, he knew when I left for work, so he'd come out to say hello when I was driving past,' she said.
'Just that moment to see each other for another minute before we went to do our things every day.'
The kibbutz, famous for gorgeous botanical gardens and for its wandering peacocks, is set to begin reconstruction this summer.
'My dream is that it'll be very similar to what it used to be,' she said.
But for families of those still held hostage, the decision to rebuild is deeply personal.
Shiri Bibas and her 9-month and 4-year-old sons Kfir and Ariel from Nir Oz. Nine-month old Kfir, who loves Batman, was last seen in Israel desperately clinging to his mother, Shiri, 33, and his brother
The current whereabouts and condition of the Bibas family remain unclear
Tamar Kedem-Siman Tov with her husband Johnny and their five-year-old daughters Shachar and Arbel, and their two-year-old son Omer. They were murdered in their home together
Yocheved Lifshitz, 85, who was released as hostage by Palestinian Hamas terrorists, is seen with her husband Oded, 83, a peace and human rights activist, who is still being held
Lifshitz was among many residents of the kibbutz who regularly transported patients from Gaza to receive medical treatment in hospitals across Israel (Yocheved pictured being escorted by Hamas before her release)
'Their families feel it's very important that the houses stay the way they are,' Azili explained.
Azili emphasized her respect for each victim's personal decision on how to move forward, but her perspective is different.
'Aviv's body is still held in Gaza ... I think that his body will never return. I don't feel any problem with my house being renovated now.'
