Liz Powell
More books by Liz Powell…
“We live in a culture that teaches us that "men" are the sexual aggressors and pursuers. We also live in a world where most women, trans, and non-binary folks have had negative experiences with men who are hitting on them. These factors tend to lead to some big gender differences for those exploring non-monogamy.
Cisgender men often struggle when they first enter the world of non-monogamy. Within consensual non-monogamy (CNM) communities, most folks who sleep with cis men choose their partners based on referrals and endorsements. As in the world of business, it truly is who you know. Cis men who have been in the communities longer have dated and interacted with more people, and, therefore, have more word of mouth. It is an unfortunate reality that many, especially cisgender women, will not date men they don't already know about through their friends and communities.
So, if you're a cis man exploring CNM, expect that it may take a while before you start seeing the kind of attention that others get. Focus on being kind, respectful, and honest. Respect the needs and boundaries of everyone with whom you interact. Spend lots of time getting to know other people simply as people - especially of your preferred gender to date - and form genuine friendships and connections with them free from any pressure to become sexual.”
― Building Open Relationships: Your hands on guide to swinging, polyamory, and beyond!
Cisgender men often struggle when they first enter the world of non-monogamy. Within consensual non-monogamy (CNM) communities, most folks who sleep with cis men choose their partners based on referrals and endorsements. As in the world of business, it truly is who you know. Cis men who have been in the communities longer have dated and interacted with more people, and, therefore, have more word of mouth. It is an unfortunate reality that many, especially cisgender women, will not date men they don't already know about through their friends and communities.
So, if you're a cis man exploring CNM, expect that it may take a while before you start seeing the kind of attention that others get. Focus on being kind, respectful, and honest. Respect the needs and boundaries of everyone with whom you interact. Spend lots of time getting to know other people simply as people - especially of your preferred gender to date - and form genuine friendships and connections with them free from any pressure to become sexual.”
― Building Open Relationships: Your hands on guide to swinging, polyamory, and beyond!
“The scarcity mindset in dating often goes hand in hand with the sunk cost fallacy. The sunk cost fallacy says that it is bad to lose something we have invested time, money, energy or emotions into, regardless of whether that something is still actually doing anything for you. Humans are highly risk averse creatures, so we tend to prefer NOT losing something over potentially gaining something, even if we don't like what we would lose.”
― Building Open Relationships: Your hands on guide to swinging, polyamory, and beyond!
― Building Open Relationships: Your hands on guide to swinging, polyamory, and beyond!
“Shame is often related to the just world belief, that good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. And while it makes sense that parents and schools and religious institutions would want to teach us that good things come to us when we're good and bad things will happen if we're bad, this belief bears little resemblance to the real world. Most of us are not "good" people or "bad people," we are flawed, complex beings struggling to do the best we can in a complicated, messy world.”
― Building Open Relationships: Your hands on guide to swinging, polyamory, and beyond!
― Building Open Relationships: Your hands on guide to swinging, polyamory, and beyond!
Topics Mentioning This Author
topics | posts | views | last activity | |
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Manifold Press: New Releases: 1 August 2014 | 10 | 7 | Jul 03, 2014 01:56AM | |
Manifold Press: Ask ... Liz Powell | 4 | 10 | Aug 02, 2014 08:55AM | |
Manifold Press: Goodreads Q+A | 26 | 8 | Aug 04, 2014 01:32PM |
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