Email Quotes

“I read Ivan's messages over and over, thinking about what they meant. I felt ashamed, but why? Why was it more honorable to reread and interpret a novel like Lost Illusions than to reread and interpret some email from Ivan? Was it because Ivan wasn't as good a writer as Balzac? (But I thought Ivan was a good writer.) Was it because Balzac's novels had been read and analyzed by hundreds of professors, so that reading and interpreting Balzac was like participating in a conversation with all these professors, and was therefore a higher and more meaningful activity than reading an email only I could see? But the fact that the email had been written specifically to me, in response to things I had said, made it literally a conversation, in the way that Balzac's novels—written for a general audience, ultimately in order to turn a profit for the printing industry—were not; and so wasn't what I was doing in a way more authentic, and more human?”
― Elif Batuman, The Idiot

“My computer terminal whistles at me: YOU HAVE MAIL. No shit, Sherlock, I always have mail. It's an existential thing: if I don't have mail it would mean that something is very wrong with the world”
― Charles Stross, The Atrocity Archives

“You know that when your partner deletes their messages to a past lover after being accused of cheating, then it is likely that they were being unfaithful in some way.”
― Steven Magee

“Contradictions, in any communication, are the first stepping stones of mistrust”
― Paul Babicki

“Write like you speak with the 'rhythms of human speech,' as William Zinsser said, and in as few words as possible. Use action verbs to carry water.”
― Sandra E. Lamb

“Email is much like an ADD diagnosis. Guaranteed extra time on the test.”
― Julie Buxbaum, Tell Me Three Things

“With text messaging and e-mails buzzing in our pockets, our constant availability for phone calls, and hot new apps and social media on our phones, we are more distracted, more unfocused and more enmeshed in sweating the small stuff than ever before. And this leads to many of us feeling like we're sprinting every day but really not getting anywhere.”
― Dean Graziosi, Millionaire Success Habits: The Gateway To Wealth & Prosperity

“I kind of thought actually that Trevor was gone completely mental when he called up here a few weeks ago. Like, why would he not text or email or Facebook? What's with all the reality, I thought. Does he not know he's a million times cooler in virtual form?”
― Donal Ryan, The Spinning Heart

“It is proper netiquette to refrain from using all capital letters in internet correspondence. NetworkEtiquette.net”
― David Chiles, The Principles Of Netiquette

“It is proper netiquette to invite new friends in real life to connect with you on the internet. NetworkEtiquette.net”
― David Chiles

“If your happy and you know it a smiley face will surely show it : ) Netiquette by NetworkEtiquette.net”
― David Chiles

“Holiday Greetings shared through eCards are good #Netiquette. Make a list and check it twice. NetworkEtiquette.net”
― David Chiles

“Beware of assumptions and the arrogance they bring”
― Paul Babicki

“Think about it: send SLASH receive. Email is the frenzied killer of proper communication.”
― Fennel Hudson, A Writer's Year: Fennel's Journal No. 3

“I'm getting a daily email from Microsoft which I have been ignoring that states a hacker is trying to access my account. As far as the Microsoft account goes, the hacker can have it...along with all of the nasty Windows 10 upgrade problems!”
― Steven Magee

“110 e-mails in 52 e-mail chains have been determined by the owning agency to contain classified information at the time they were sent or received.”
― James B. Comey

“No Late Messages: It is proper netiquette to send messages within an appropriate time frame. NetworkEtiquette.net”
― David Chiles, The Principles Of Netiquette

“It is proper #netiquette to be conservative in messages you send and liberal in messages you receive. NetworkEtiquette.net”
― David Chiles

“The recruiters and hiring managers of today are becoming more and more like politicians when asked difficult and uncomfortable questions. If they reply at all, they will not directly answer the job seekers’ questions.”
― Paul Babicki, Netiquette IQ: A Comprehensive Guide to Improve, Enhance and Add Power to Your Email

“The smartest people can write the worst emails and those of less intellect can write the best.”
― Paul Babickii

“The smartest people can write the worst emails and those of less intellect can write the best.”
― Paul Babicki

“To make a simple change of a typeface can instantly transform text which had the appearance and tone of a joyous announcement to suddenly convey that of a somber tragedy.”
― Paul Babicki, Netiquette IQ: A Comprehensive Guide to Improve, Enhance and Add Power to Your Email

“When Internet parlance finds its way into our accepted vocabulary, it becomes a cliché.”
― Paul Babicki, Netiquette IQ: A Comprehensive Guide to Improve, Enhance and Add Power to Your Email

“This message was left for you by messenger, Mr. Marks.” The clerk smiled. “That’s the way they used to do it before email.”
― Kenneth Eade, Beyond All Recognition

“But how do you come ‘offline’ when so much of our daily lives is moving ‘online’? Every month new sites and online services are launched. If you need to check anything – about a new school for your children, medical treatment, tourist destination or recipe – you go online. Bill Gates put it so well when he called the Internet the ‘town square for the global village of tomorrow’.

Could you spend a week or even a day without reading your emails, using social media or going online? Someone recently joked with me that having Internet access is more important than having food or water.”
― Nigel Cumberland, 100 Things Successful People Do: Little Exercises for Successful Living

“Emmi, chị không phải là Mia. Tôi đã không đặt mong đợi vào Mia – và ngược lại. Mia và tôi, chúng tôi bắt đầu từ vạch xuất phát, như khi hai người làm quen nhau trong điều kiện bình thường. Ở chúng ta thì khác, Emmi: chúng ta xuất phát từ vạch đích, và chỉ còn một hướng để chạy: ngược lại. Chúng ta hướng đến sự tỉnh ngộ bạo liệt. Chúng ta không được sống những gì viết ra. Chúng ta không thể thay thế vô số hình ảnh mà chúng ta đã vẽ ra về nhau. Sẽ là một thất vọng khi chị không bằng cô Emmi mà tôi biết. Và chị sẽ không bằng được! Chị sẽ buồn chán khi tôi không bằng tay Leo mà chị biết. Và tôi sẽ không bằng tay ấy! Sau cuộc gặp mặt đầu tiên (và duy nhất) chúng ta sẽ tỉnh ngộ chia tay nhau, uể oải như sau một bữa ăn ngồn ngộn nhưng không ngon miệng, vậy mà chúng ta đã sốt ruột cả một năm để chờ nó, đã hầm nhừ hầm tử mấy tháng liền. Rồi sao? Hết. Chấm dứt. Nuốt sạch. Làm như chẳng có gì xảy ra chăng? Emmi, lúc đó ta vĩnh viễn có trước mắt hình ảnh mất thiêng, phát lộ, trần tục, thất vọng và tan vỡ của người kia. Chúng ta sẽ không biết nên viết gì cho nhau. Rồi một lúc nào đó về sau, có một lúc ta chạm trán nhau trong tiệm cà phê hay dưới tàu điện ngầm. Chúng ta sẽ cố không nhận ra nhau hay lờ nhau đi, sẽ vội vã quay mặt qua hướng khác. Chúng ta sẽ ngượng ngùng nhận ra “chúng ta” đã trở thành cái gì và còn sót lại cái gì. Chẳng gì cả. Hai con người lạ lẫm, với một quá khứ ảo chung nhau, cái quá khứ đã lừa dối họ một cách bỉ ổi bao tháng ngày.”
― Daniel Galattauer

“He didn’t have regular email like everyone else. He couldn’t afford that digital fingerprint that the NSA, the CIA, the FBI and all the other espionage alphabeticals counted on for their privacy-bashing surveillance of the entire formerly free world.”
― Kenneth Eade, Russian Holiday

“Email is the scourge of our age,' said Silvia. 'Email and cancer.”
― Olivia Sudjic, Sympathy

“Be careful about financial offers that often come by email. Before you respond to such an offer, ask yourself: do I really need a new problem?”
― Eraldo Banovac

“SUBJECT: NEXT TIME You Jackasses Throw an 'Unofficial' Bonfire ...

How about making sure that you won't burn down the grounds in the process?! How about ASKING your neighbors if they'll mind having five hundred students in their streets until three in the morning?

I know damn well that this was not a "team" idea and whenever KYLE and GRAYSON want to own up to this shit, I'll reduce the extra five daily miles you all now owe me, to three miles.

I'm waiting.

--Coach Whitten
__________________________

SUBJECT: RE: NEXT TIME You Jackasses Throw an 'Unofficial' Bonfire ...

It was me, Coach.

Grayson had nothing to do with it this time. He didn't even show up. Speaking of which--

Dude, where were you? I fucked like three girls from the bonfire. You probably could've hooked up with at least five. I don't think I'll need another blowjob for a month after how amazing these were.

PS--Are you back at our apartment yet? I need to tell you these stories in person when Coach isn't acting like this shit is a big deal.

--Kyle

___________________________

SUBJECT: RE RE: NEXT TIME You Jackasses Throw an 'Unofficial' Bonfire ...

Kyle,

Meet me in my office at the complex NOW.

--Coach Whitten

_____________________

SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: NEXT TIME You Jackasses Throw an 'Unofficial' Bonfire ...

I meant to send that last part to just Grayson. Not to you, Coach. Can I come in a few hours? I mean, now that you've read what I said, surely you understand how exhausted I am. Three girls, Coach, THREE.

--Kyle

________________________________

SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: RE: NEXT TIME You Jackasses Throw an 'Unofficial' Bonfire ...

Right. Fucking. NOW.

--Coach Whitten”
― Whitney G., On a Tuesday